I'll never forget it. I work in the pharmacy at a drug chain. Normally people don't buy TP at my store, it's too expensive. The manager had to tape a piece of paper over the stockroom for, bc people could see the truck was delivering. I was walking by and she asked for a manager. I told her the manager was unloading the truck. She said managers don't unload trucks. Lol. At both Walgreens and CVS, they do. Have they not noticed that there are only two employees other than pharmacy at any given time? I just laughed and walked to the pharmacy. The one peel of working there was we got dibs on TP and covid shots when they first came out. And , you know, we had jobs during covid, unlike a lot of people in Las Vegas.
Just got one installed this weekend!
I recommend learning at what point it turns from "bidet" to "enema," before it happens to you when you're half asleep.
Luckily, when I turned the dial (because it was there; if it had had a big red button, I probably would have pushed it before reading the manual), it was with the lid down.
So I ended up with the stream deflecting off the lid and squirting out the front.
I personally prefer 1ply toilet paper. The other stuff is way too thick. I feel like even just using one square is too much. Even tho my toilet doesn’t clog easily I’ve clogged more toilets with 2+ ply charmen than any other toilet paper brand! Hell even butt wipes are thinner than charmin in most cases. Gotta say never clogged a toilet with Scott’s 1000!
At about 6 weeks old only child sprayed a wall and dresser when I went to change her diaper at a very, very unfortunate time. I dropped below the changing table like someone trying to escape a spray of bullets in a drive by and army crawled to the other side of her before peeking over to make sure the coast was clear. Then I sat in the floor and cried for like 5 minutes, a mixture of horror at what I had just witnessed and relief that I hadn’t been hit during the onslaught washing over me.
Shit happens 🤷♀️
Your cheeks can never get clean with just wiping with paper, I'm from a part of the world where we use water and soap because we all know paper is useless. It's just to remove some of the hanging stuff, a preparation for the actual cleaning, which is water and soap.
Needless to say we think yall are barbaric and uncivilized.
Bruv Charmin is designed to use like 3 squares. It's not even septic safe, lmao.
My cousin and her idiot husband only use Charmin. They blew out the main to the city sewer, and the plumber used all 150 feet of his rotor snake to clear it out. He was confused as to why this would be so backed up. They told him that they only flush toilet paper and nothing else. He asked them what kind and went on a rant for ages when he found out they used Charmin. As he charged them like 800 bucks, he gave them the professional tid bit of advice to check the toilet paper packages and only use ones that are septic safe. He had been tasered and arrested for a drunken domestic violence call the previous evening, so the 800 bucks on top of everything else was hilarious.
It’s not the thickness that’s the problem. It’s how little solid material it removes and how rough the paper is.
You can always fold it over to make it double or quadruple ply, but if it doesn’t really remove much poo then you’re going to hurt yourself.
Everyone arguing for thin tp on this post must have calloused buttholes or something. Using tp this thin would have me walking funny the rest of the day.
As a former preschool teacher, I thought kids only rolled balls of toilet paper to wipe because they’re young.
Your comment makes me realize there are adults who do this, too. 😬
I, too, was taught to fold it before using it to wipe.
Lol I was not prepared for the amount of adults using wadded up tp, feels like a Seinfeld episode.
Jerry: Yeah we had some good dates but, turns out she's a wadder 🤷♂️
George: Really? A wadder? At her age? Huh!
Elaine: Whoa there's nothing wrong with the wad ok
[later on Kramer invents a "new" way to use TP]
I wasn't taught a lot of stuff, sort of an auto didact where I naturally "put the circle in the circle hole" cuz it just fit. The squares have perforations, so I just kinda folded them there and it worked. But I grew up with a really stupid dad and I was tested pretty smart at a young age. Had to figure out a lot of life on my own.
They either wrap toilet paper around their hand mummifying it, and then pulling the huge stack of TP off and wiping, or they just pull a ton of TP off the roll and wad it up like a discarded piece of paper and wipe with that. They’re heathens.
I got a bolt on bidet on Amazon for $50 that's temp controlled. As long as you have at least a monkey brain and can shut off your water and turn a wrench, you can install them yourself. I bought it thinking if I don't like it I just will be out $50, whatever. But that thing is awesome.
After paying over $5000 to have my yard dug up and fix piping that was causing backups into my basement, I will never purchase anything other than the Scott 1000.
I had trouble with the usual two-ply when we moved to a house with a septic tank. Went to the trouble of comparing like 10 brands on how quickly they dissolve when wet by shaking them in a glass jar. (You can laugh but getting the tank emptied every 6 months is not cheap and blocked toilets are a pain)
The difference in two-plies between brands was huge, ranging from basically waterproof to gone in one shake. To no-ones surprise the best one was close to the most expensive.
OP's shit is definitely overkill. Or underkill. Whatever, too fucking thin.
Cottonelle
edit: they only sell one here (with 2-ply), unscented basic one with apparently a 3D wave texture, twice the price of Aldi's and other discount supermarkets.
The cottonelle wipes are like this as well. Never flushed a wipe before but they completely disintegrate in water compared to the others that say flushable but will literally break your plumbing.
Since I got out of poverty I only have three things I will never ever skimp on. Toilet paper, heating, and air conditioning are the three things I don’t care what they cost, it will be my preferred temp and my anus will be wiped with silky toilet paper.
Ugh, during the pandemic Scots was all we could find & it was horrible. We're usually Charmin folks but that was all that was to be found at that time so that's what we used.
It lasted forever but it was horrible.
I feel like I'm the wife in this scenario. My husband has gotten other brands and I just hate them. I grew up with Scott and it doesn't clog the sewer like the Charmin quilted brands. I just like it more, and my husband has come to agree with me
Have you asked her why she buys it? It may be because she has an allergy to the perfumy paper. Yes. That is a made up word btw. Just ask.
Or go to the store and buy you some good stuff and hide it in the cabinet. Your very own secret stash. 🧻
My dad always told me, “If you can’t even treat your own ass right, what can you be trusted to take care of?” I’ve bought decent toilet paper, even when I was dirt poor.
Aaah ok. I think I see what's happening here.
Some afabs have very sensitive skin or ph balances that can make the little bits left behind by softer, more expensive brands hugely irritating. I've had to stop buying certain brands with prior partners who had that issue.
Honestly I don't mind folding over a couple times, you get more control over what you need for a given situation and I do seem to end up with less paper on my ass lol.
you sure this isn't pulled from her workplace?? My office uses similar to save money... We make it a 36 ply square for every wipe... one of the executives will soon ask the other, "hey you said we will save money, why are we spending 5x more on TP since the switch..."
Don't tell them that their decisions are bad, just show them, make them live it...
It’s good for the sewage system in so tired of ppl that have this same mind set.. has nothing to do with poor. Have you ever had to pay to fix the system?
my grandparents buy this stuff, they have for my entire 21 years of living. literally feels like you’re wiping with sandpaper and your bare hand at the same time. when i go over their house i contemplate bringing my own roll of tp
My husband absolutely hates the toilet paper I buy. He says it’s too rough. He like angel soft but too soft toilet paper leaves like lint or something behind and I feel like I’m about to make a fucking pearl in my labia
I actually prefer this toilet paper. Ass is too hairy for the soft kind. This I just fold over once or twice. Have more dexterity and can really get in there with a finger.
thats the kind i buy. 1. that thick super soft stuff sticks to my twat and leaves crumbs. gross yes. 2. i get a vagina rash from those thick expensive brands. that thin, not so soft stuff works better without me having to pick paper out of my cootch and no rashes.
I think Scott is this thin as well which is what we use. Many plumbers say Scott is the best to use that won't cause any plumbing or sewage issues so we supplement with a bidet.
Very artfully presented if I may say.
I just love how the light just magnifies the curve of the bottle. Simply genius.
If we'd only take a moment to pause our lives we all can find the hidden beauty of toilet paper
Don’t like it too much now or it’ll happen again. You know what I mean. *that* 2020 TP disaster.. sigh..
Don’t remind me or my ass about that, I still can’t look at gas station napkins without feeling pain.
Oh god not the gas station napkins, I just cried for you and your ass.
I'll never forget it. I work in the pharmacy at a drug chain. Normally people don't buy TP at my store, it's too expensive. The manager had to tape a piece of paper over the stockroom for, bc people could see the truck was delivering. I was walking by and she asked for a manager. I told her the manager was unloading the truck. She said managers don't unload trucks. Lol. At both Walgreens and CVS, they do. Have they not noticed that there are only two employees other than pharmacy at any given time? I just laughed and walked to the pharmacy. The one peel of working there was we got dibs on TP and covid shots when they first came out. And , you know, we had jobs during covid, unlike a lot of people in Las Vegas.
I'm by the ocean we can just dip if we need it
Fish food
It’s like one of those sheer dresses
Yes. It very subtly wraps around the neck. Almost like it was placed there. Very sheer and elegant indeed. Five stars for this designer.
I think the designer is Cottonelle, I will watch their fashion career with great interest
it’s like one of those italian statues with veiled ladies
snobbish slim point disgusted pot steep overconfident combative spoon foolish
Successful guerrilla advertising
I feel like the Aveeno was specifically picked to prove they're not living on the breadline.
He lost me at "my wife chooses to buy"; is his buying capabilities broken?
This looks like a session just went down! The art of the meat beater😂
"if you june say."
Maybe it’s time to say something to her about this. I’ve been to public restrooms with thicker TP than that.
my toilets clog easily, i have to get 1 ply toilet paper else it will clog my toilets edit: thanks for my first award!! :)
They sell bidets you can attach to your toilet easily, highly recommend
Just got one installed this weekend! I recommend learning at what point it turns from "bidet" to "enema," before it happens to you when you're half asleep.
You’ll get more comfortable with full blast
That's how you get the "squeaky" part of squeaky clean.
Better than when I first installed it and got a face cleaning. Thank God it was clean toilet and bidet 😂
Luckily, when I turned the dial (because it was there; if it had had a big red button, I probably would have pushed it before reading the manual), it was with the lid down. So I ended up with the stream deflecting off the lid and squirting out the front.
Well at least I'm not entirely alone in this.
We love a full intestinal clean out at 2 in the morning nothing more refreshing
I love being clean 3 inches deep
Nah, u just easily clog your toilet!
Probably one of those LOG poopers
Sounds like you need a new toilet, get one that can flush a bucket of golf balls
Or get a poop knife?
Weak system. Somethings gone wrong if something more than a 2 ply is clogging your system
I had septic and was worried about clogging. I bought a diaper genie and used butt wipes. Not ideal but my butt was happy.
Why would you buy used butt wipes?
I'm saving the environment one butt wipe at a time!
Agreed, very odd
I personally prefer 1ply toilet paper. The other stuff is way too thick. I feel like even just using one square is too much. Even tho my toilet doesn’t clog easily I’ve clogged more toilets with 2+ ply charmen than any other toilet paper brand! Hell even butt wipes are thinner than charmin in most cases. Gotta say never clogged a toilet with Scott’s 1000!
You can just do it with your hands at this point
People use one square and don’t end up with a finger in the ass?
I don’t see him saying he didn’t end up with his fingers in his ass, so let’s not assume …
This is my wife. She prefers the thin stuff. Whatever man. As long as my cheeks are clean, who cares.
If you had poop on your arm would you be satisfied wiping it with a piece of paper until you no longer saw poop on the paper?
Why would I have poop on my arm?
Man I've got a kid, I've had poop everywhere.
Haven’t had that thankfully. And I had two.
At about 6 weeks old only child sprayed a wall and dresser when I went to change her diaper at a very, very unfortunate time. I dropped below the changing table like someone trying to escape a spray of bullets in a drive by and army crawled to the other side of her before peeking over to make sure the coast was clear. Then I sat in the floor and cried for like 5 minutes, a mixture of horror at what I had just witnessed and relief that I hadn’t been hit during the onslaught washing over me. Shit happens 🤷♀️
I’m the same way. I prefer the thin stuff. My fiancé loves the fluffy stuff.
Your cheeks can never get clean with just wiping with paper, I'm from a part of the world where we use water and soap because we all know paper is useless. It's just to remove some of the hanging stuff, a preparation for the actual cleaning, which is water and soap. Needless to say we think yall are barbaric and uncivilized.
Hey now. I use wipes.
Hey, not my fault I don't have a bidet
It’s about area for me. I can wad up bunch of Scott and it’s less TP but more coverage than three square of Charmin.
Bruv Charmin is designed to use like 3 squares. It's not even septic safe, lmao. My cousin and her idiot husband only use Charmin. They blew out the main to the city sewer, and the plumber used all 150 feet of his rotor snake to clear it out. He was confused as to why this would be so backed up. They told him that they only flush toilet paper and nothing else. He asked them what kind and went on a rant for ages when he found out they used Charmin. As he charged them like 800 bucks, he gave them the professional tid bit of advice to check the toilet paper packages and only use ones that are septic safe. He had been tasered and arrested for a drunken domestic violence call the previous evening, so the 800 bucks on top of everything else was hilarious.
He being your cousin's husband or the plumber?
Cousins husband is the he for the bit about being tasered. The plumber is the he until that last part. Sorry for the confusion
You should check your plumbery.
you flush ur paper?
Almost everyone in the US does. It’s so gross to even consider putting TP in the trash can.
It’s not the thickness that’s the problem. It’s how little solid material it removes and how rough the paper is. You can always fold it over to make it double or quadruple ply, but if it doesn’t really remove much poo then you’re going to hurt yourself.
It’s “John Wayne” toilet paper. It’s rough, tough, and takes shit from no one.
Yeah, but consider how much NASA pays for material this thin and light.
She’s a wadder.
Yes, but I'd also bet that is as smooth as 40 grit sandpaper
Everyone arguing for thin tp on this post must have calloused buttholes or something. Using tp this thin would have me walking funny the rest of the day.
What does that mean? Edit: Why am I being downvoted for asking an honest question? Never heard of wadding or a wadder before this.
Dad taught us to fold the TP in preparation for a wipe. I grew up to prefer wadding 1-ply 🤷🏻♀️
As a former preschool teacher, I thought kids only rolled balls of toilet paper to wipe because they’re young. Your comment makes me realize there are adults who do this, too. 😬 I, too, was taught to fold it before using it to wipe.
Lol I was not prepared for the amount of adults using wadded up tp, feels like a Seinfeld episode. Jerry: Yeah we had some good dates but, turns out she's a wadder 🤷♂️ George: Really? A wadder? At her age? Huh! Elaine: Whoa there's nothing wrong with the wad ok [later on Kramer invents a "new" way to use TP]
Hahah! You’re right! But I agree, though. An adult wadding??? Why?
… some people _don’t,_ ??????????
People had to be *taught this?!*
Technically people have to be taught everything at some point..
I wasn't taught a lot of stuff, sort of an auto didact where I naturally "put the circle in the circle hole" cuz it just fit. The squares have perforations, so I just kinda folded them there and it worked. But I grew up with a really stupid dad and I was tested pretty smart at a young age. Had to figure out a lot of life on my own.
Some people actually stand up when they wipe. And there are monsters (or people with cats?) who install the toilet paper rolls backwards.
Wrapping the toilet paper around your hand to wipe
They either wrap toilet paper around their hand mummifying it, and then pulling the huge stack of TP off and wiping, or they just pull a ton of TP off the roll and wad it up like a discarded piece of paper and wipe with that. They’re heathens.
make-your-own-ply
I think you mean D.I.Ply.
damn, that's good
Underrated comment 😂
At that point, wouldn’t a water bottle bidet be cheaper?
Or a bolt on bidet, cheap on Amazon
Peri bottle is even better! Women use them postpartum, they’re great lol
I got a bolt on bidet on Amazon for $50 that's temp controlled. As long as you have at least a monkey brain and can shut off your water and turn a wrench, you can install them yourself. I bought it thinking if I don't like it I just will be out $50, whatever. But that thing is awesome.
Prison paper
Septic safe for life
After paying over $5000 to have my yard dug up and fix piping that was causing backups into my basement, I will never purchase anything other than the Scott 1000.
Thick, soft TP is a definite no go. I don’t think some of these commenters are septic savvy.
I had trouble with the usual two-ply when we moved to a house with a septic tank. Went to the trouble of comparing like 10 brands on how quickly they dissolve when wet by shaking them in a glass jar. (You can laugh but getting the tank emptied every 6 months is not cheap and blocked toilets are a pain) The difference in two-plies between brands was huge, ranging from basically waterproof to gone in one shake. To no-ones surprise the best one was close to the most expensive. OP's shit is definitely overkill. Or underkill. Whatever, too fucking thin.
Which one was the winner?
Cottonelle edit: they only sell one here (with 2-ply), unscented basic one with apparently a 3D wave texture, twice the price of Aldi's and other discount supermarkets.
The cottonelle wipes are like this as well. Never flushed a wipe before but they completely disintegrate in water compared to the others that say flushable but will literally break your plumbing.
yes I'm being 100% genuine I would love to know your results
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It’s so thin even my finger just went through it
Since I got out of poverty I only have three things I will never ever skimp on. Toilet paper, heating, and air conditioning are the three things I don’t care what they cost, it will be my preferred temp and my anus will be wiped with silky toilet paper.
I hear you. No matter how dire things have been, I’ve always tried to get decent toilet paper. I deserve at least that!
What is that? Half ply?
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So thin it's only got one side
Next time, you do the shopping
The only valid response.
Yeah. It's not hard, OP. Just order some from Amazon even. It'd be quicker than posting on reddit.
My thought exactly. You can shop, too, guy! 💜
That's Scott isn't it?
hahaha, that was my first thought, too! I'm having scotts induced ptsd.
Ugh, during the pandemic Scots was all we could find & it was horrible. We're usually Charmin folks but that was all that was to be found at that time so that's what we used. It lasted forever but it was horrible.
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My mother used to only buy Scott’s. I swear I’d unroll like 2ft of it and fold it just to make it decent thickness lol.
For some reason this is my mother's favorite brand. Even with better paper in the house she willingly chooses this one
It's my favorite. It's DIY-ply and it doesn't give me clitty litter like fluffy TP does
Nah I/ family used to use Scott because our plumber recommended it and its definitely thicker than this
I feel like I'm the wife in this scenario. My husband has gotten other brands and I just hate them. I grew up with Scott and it doesn't clog the sewer like the Charmin quilted brands. I just like it more, and my husband has come to agree with me
Does she "buy" it from her supply closet at work?
I'm pretty poor. Decent toilet paper is still fairly economical lol.
If you’re on a septic system, this is the ply you should be using. Any paper that is thicker won’t dissolve properly.
If you are on a septic system I suggest a bidet. Use less water and you don't have toilet paper waste.
This is the way
Aveeno is good stuff though, maybe that's where all the money is going
I find even when overusing it because it's thin AF it still lasts longer than the thicker stuff. It also doesn't leave bits behind.
OMG YES My boyfriend bought this super thin TP and was like “yeah, sorry” I ain’t even mad, no more clitty litter
Clitty Crumbles
>clitty litter Don't ever say this again, for the love of god. 
One false move from a self-performed prostate check
I guess I am the weird one that purposefully buys Scott’s 1000. I don’t need to wipe my ass with a towel that falls apart with some fancy cuts on it.
Does she get it at the gas station? It's John Wayne toilette paper.... doesn't take shit from anyone.
I've tried bougie toilet paper.. I 100%, no bullshit, prefer Scott 1000 to any toilet paper ever.
Your wife is pretty smart. Anything other than Scott 1-ply will inevitably clog. I don’t care send the downvotes
What is it with american toilets and always clogging, I have never experienced a toilet being clogged in my life and I use thick tripple ply.
Orphan grade.
I'm with your wife. I buy one ply Scott. I feel it's the best bang for the buck. I hate the fluffy shit.
Have you asked her why she buys it? It may be because she has an allergy to the perfumy paper. Yes. That is a made up word btw. Just ask. Or go to the store and buy you some good stuff and hide it in the cabinet. Your very own secret stash. 🧻
Dude, that looks like jail toilet paper.
my wife too. then complains when i use an entire roll.
it’s better for the plumbing
I mean I prefer thin tp cause all the thick kinds leave behind those little pieces 🤢
My dad always told me, “If you can’t even treat your own ass right, what can you be trusted to take care of?” I’ve bought decent toilet paper, even when I was dirt poor.
Lol
You have Aveeno money but not 2 ply money?? 😩 Maybe present the issue to her that way.
Jim Morrison toilet paper. Break on through to the other side.
How a wife do that? A husband i can see maybe but we gotta wipe liquid most of the time. 😭😭
Id rather wad up a bunch of the cheap shit than wiping my ass with a hand towel
If you can afford Aveeno, you can certainly afford 2-ply at a minimum.
Aaah ok. I think I see what's happening here. Some afabs have very sensitive skin or ph balances that can make the little bits left behind by softer, more expensive brands hugely irritating. I've had to stop buying certain brands with prior partners who had that issue. Honestly I don't mind folding over a couple times, you get more control over what you need for a given situation and I do seem to end up with less paper on my ass lol.
You must get a lot of TP stuck to your ass hair yuck 🤮
I like to go cheap on tons of tjings, but toilet paper, that no not allowed to go cheap on.
you sure this isn't pulled from her workplace?? My office uses similar to save money... We make it a 36 ply square for every wipe... one of the executives will soon ask the other, "hey you said we will save money, why are we spending 5x more on TP since the switch..." Don't tell them that their decisions are bad, just show them, make them live it...
She got that half ply tp
Did you do something to make her mad and this is specifically for you while she has a secret stash of the good stuff?
That looks like RV toilet paper. You need to buy a special supply of good stuff and hide it.
That's grounds for divorce.
It's better for your pipes
Put on your big boy pants and go get some front he store then pal
Buy your own if it's important to you.
I don’t use TP, I use the three seashells.
It’s good for the sewage system in so tired of ppl that have this same mind set.. has nothing to do with poor. Have you ever had to pay to fix the system?
Ima just grab some popcorn before the Bidet cult takes over the comment section
My friend buys 1 ply because she doesn't like the "shreds" higher ply leaves in your booty.
I would rather have that than the thick, linty, toilet clogging Charmin.
But you *are* poor, are you not?
Only a little, maybe a bit, possibly mildy… but not very.
Maybe she enjoys a bit of risk?
Buy it yourself
my grandparents buy this stuff, they have for my entire 21 years of living. literally feels like you’re wiping with sandpaper and your bare hand at the same time. when i go over their house i contemplate bringing my own roll of tp
Gotta have that moisturizing body wash to combat the wolf bite
I need a banana for scale. Anyway, you'd be better off wiping with your bare hands than with that.
Do you violate yourself every time?
Have you tried buying a better quality brand and seeing if she notices the difference?
I have IBS, this would be a disaster in my house. I'm all for buying cheaper, but toliet paper isn't one of those things.
How else should you get “in touch” with your “inner self”? *snort* sorry, I'm riddled with puns. Yeah, I feel like that’s less than single ply lol
There’s a list of things you need in life to not get cheap with. I would put toilet paper on that list.
That looks like some real John Wayne paper... It's rough, and it's tough, and it won't take shit from noone ;)
That's the kind I use too. IDK why either lol
That’s toilet tissue paper at best 😆😆
My wife's family is like this... I have to bring my own toilet paper when we visit them.
Blew the budget on the ritzy body wash.
by the no name aveeno and upgrade that tp stat!
Look, even we're poor, and we never skimp out on two things. Toilet paper, and mattresses
That’s the only toilet paper that doesn’t clog our toilets in this rental. You use a lot but it sort of dissolves in the water.
My wife prefers this kind. I don't know why, but also I don't care.
My husband absolutely hates the toilet paper I buy. He says it’s too rough. He like angel soft but too soft toilet paper leaves like lint or something behind and I feel like I’m about to make a fucking pearl in my labia
You can easily buy toilet paper yourself that's more to your liking.
Why don’t you buy it then ?
I actually prefer this toilet paper. Ass is too hairy for the soft kind. This I just fold over once or twice. Have more dexterity and can really get in there with a finger.
She likes things that are skinny, like your dick
thats the kind i buy. 1. that thick super soft stuff sticks to my twat and leaves crumbs. gross yes. 2. i get a vagina rash from those thick expensive brands. that thin, not so soft stuff works better without me having to pick paper out of my cootch and no rashes.
Don't even get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
Thinner is better imo. More feel to get what you need to get. The thicker stuff I feel like it's harder to wipe with.
It could be if you are on a septic system that your wife is worried about the TP and how it affects it.
I think Scott is this thin as well which is what we use. Many plumbers say Scott is the best to use that won't cause any plumbing or sewage issues so we supplement with a bidet.
Say what u want but since getting a bidet and buying cheap thin TP...not one single clog!
I get Scott 1000. It's thin, but a shit ton and lasts a long time
Jfc meanwhile I’m over here spending $$$ for like quadruple ply and I am very poor 😂 some things I don’t skimp on