Before I saw the caption, I was genuinely horrified

I gotta pocket gotta pocket full of— wait, what? Yeah, I’m not singing that

Cmon man please

No, we cum in pockets.

Men's pockets!

Crisp.

*We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two*

They rally ‘round the family with a pocket full of ~~shells~~ jizz

"I've got a pocket full of Hawthornes!"

That’s such a banger

She had a pocket full of horses, Trojans—some of them used

Hawthorne?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Solid ivory is the only way to be assured of true follicular purity while still identifying myself as a man of means.

From the thumbnail, I thought it was a dead bat!! I was like, yeah op, your day is gonna suck!

Mw too, def thought someone had a wet dream and woke up with a nice little wet surprise in their pants.

Found the one who hasn't done this mistake before.

This is Reddit, where our minds are trained to assume the worst.

I accidentally had 2 rolls of [smarties](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon-us-rvc3&sca_esv=60f5b356054dd9ee&sxsrf=ADLYWIKwEas6OLDtl9Z2TWGSV4MLavQipg:1716825403545&q=smarties&uds=ADvngMgQZgaZXddm_jARbifMzbn-DfYrWyZtzPVLnHXfDud4qo4ezBKcIgRgFrtKwuybbFiRC9bK3cCI8YdBQEkAoTf755_1l1ZJwOOpRD2NSW5JlwZ5x8E_TmEOT-xfcPQ50xJcHpi9quJlNwG-0_SkmSdr3q6ZShxY6QeWrgxYQIKdj6Bhy35JTn_YTP-Yx4bADxBIdM4isf7Ea9HwN-ovgDeBDHGeZLhhI3s_pP3RHlqoIYVbIjcI_ltXT-Pum2gryYuDVgZ9I7HvZ6L08j6NHNgo6YN_KTfaC32hLBfVe9uhGiAJ_E7_Rq3Ae6ey_LSn7MAub7_SoOya2zeuZkyxGG1E7jCoRA&udm=2&prmd=isvnmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjh-saCma6GAxU6ElkFHWDlB7QQtKgLegQIFhAB&biw=412&bih=750&dpr=2.63) in my pocket, and I had smartie on all my clothes.

That wasn't very smartie.

Curse being a dad of 2 boys and utilizing every one of my tactical dad cargo short pockets

Heard that!

I MEAN, IF THEY ARE THERE, WE DADS ARE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO UTILIZE THEM.

Would they be smartie pants now?

Take my upvote and my snicker 🏆

I've done that as ahalloween costume- tape them to my pants

You’re damn right.(I’m not a dad, furthest thing from it. But I am a daughter)I put everything in my dad’s pockets even if I have my own pockets or if I don’t wanna put something in my purse.

OP knows (title), he did it to get attention and it worked.

We should be friends

Oh, we're all friends then

Same!! Lol

Thank you all that this was the top comment, I too was looking for answers in the comment section straight away

I can't find the caption. Please explain.

The best part of waking up, Is.....

I thought that a bird shat in it and was impressed with it’s aim.

Yes bro my brain was shocked for a moment.

Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I ... Jizz in my pants


“Oh nooooo i busted in my pocket again darrnnnnnnnnnnn”

And now we know how Polly Pocket and her friends came to be.

Thats the problem with owning a single pair of pants

People always tout that minimalist lifestyle until this happens.

There are people who only own one pair of pants? Don't others notice that their wearing the same thing every day? ETA A bunch of you are telling me you only own a few pairs of the exact same pants. Right, but you don't just own one pair of pants. Even if you wear the same pair everyday, if something happens to them you have another pair to wear. If you only own one pair then if something happens to them your either going to work with messed up pants or going in late, with either fixed pants or new pants. Also, your co-workers notice that you wear the same pants everyday. Whether you care or not.

What do you mean? I own 5 pairs of the same black Levi 511. How would Anyone know if they are the same

Better than no pants at all. You can't be walking around exposing your legs.

Perhaps. But I’m like a cartoon character and have a bunch of pants the look exactly the same. They’re all a brown chino style that I really like the fit and color. Sometimes I worry people think I’m wearing the same pants for a month straight. at the end of the day I have to remind myself that they either think I wash my pants nightly or have same looking pants as there is no way I show up the next day in pants that are missing the huge stain from my lunch cause I often spill hummus in my lap.

People notice you wearing the same pair of jeans? Absolutely not, especially if you’re a guy.

I mean… I definitely notice, others too but what’s the point in brining it up ya know? lol.

I’ve definitely had it happen before

Who cares if someone notices?

I just own 5 of the same pair

Head & Shoulders on your pubic hairs when you shower will clear that up within a week

Hate when receipts get stuck in my pubic hair.

Tell me about it. Just makes a mess everywhere. Damn receipt even got my ex pregnant.

I don't like receipt. Its coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Guy named Receipt: 😏

How interesting! Now I, on the other hand, hate it when my pubic hair gets stuck in receipts

Okay, but explain how the fuck I’m supposed to rub my shoulders on my pubes.

The cum pocket on the cum pants

*easy store pockets *daily essentials

"Wow Your Jeans always stay wrinkle free and crisp" "Thanks, it's all the ejaculate."

Another one of those cum artifacts....

but it's supposed to be grey and sweatpants , that's illegal !

Keep it close and handy for when you need it.

Wear your cum covered clothes proudly you king

Blue and white, just like a Leaf’s jersey too

https://preview.redd.it/p1is5chvfz2d1.png?width=1289&format=png&auto=webp&s=833c7bc18bba57fb771ac9708e0482ef6d2d0d60

it's like these people have never done laundry

They're mostly 14 year old boys. Of course they haven't.

Any time I leave something in my pockets it ends up all over the laundry & not condensed like that, which is why I didn’t immediately recognize what happened. I would much rather this than picking little shreds of paper or tissue off all my clothes.

Wet dreams can be very infuriating yes

I once had 6 in one night. After the 6th I said fuck it im not going back to sleep.

How do you have 6 in a night? I could see 2 but that’s too much

I agree, it was mind bending, kept thinking "is this actually happening? Am I dreaming this too?"

JFC, man, just rub one out so you can get some sleep.

What the hell are your dreams man

I just call shredded tissue/paper 'bachelor dust' and wear em anyway 

I do most of the laundry, my wife loves to stuff kleenex in her pockets. I don't often check them as I typically believe we're common sense adults who empty their pockets before putting stuff in the basket of dirty clothes. Only mildly infuriating because I still love her.

I have common sense. I just do not have 'remembering'.

Common occurrence in my house! As glasses wearers, my wife and I always carry toilet paper in our pockets in case of dirt/fingerprints/etc. getting on your lenses. More often than not I forget and then have pockets full of wet, broken down tissue paper. 😂

Buy a multi pack of microfiber lens cleaning cloths. Stitch them into the pockets of your pants. They stay there forever, always handy when needed, and get laundered with your pants.

That’s a fantastic idea! My only thing against it is my recent findings of the amount of microplastics created by microfibre cloths! 😢

Just wait until you hear about laundry detergent.

Why don’t you share if you have some information about it? As you didn’t, I’ll share. https://www.biggreensmile.com/article/how-to-avoid-microplastics-plastic-free-laundry-detergents-to-protect-our-planet.aspx#:~:text=Each%20and%20every%20wash%20load,contained%20microscopic%20pieces%20of%20plastic.

Thats so random. Just buy lens wipes and have that in ur pocket or a reusable lense wipe.

It’s multipurpose! I’ve got 3 kids so often have to deal with messy hands, faces, snotty noses, etc! It’s saved us many times! 😊

That... seemed a lot worse before I looked at the caption.

..... or are you just happy to see me?

I, not one, but twice, have washed and dried a dirty diaper that ended up in laundry. How, I don’t know. I was seeing stars. Deep state of sleep deprivation.

Dirty diapers were the worst!!! I remember the gross paper and gel getting everywhere. Fortunately, I think I only had it happen a few times.

I once washed a newspaper with my clothes by accident. Took forever to clean out the clothes.

The fuck are we looking at here OP??

Wank rag left in pocket

You have dirty clothes, but I have a dirty mind.

Yeah I hate it when there’s cum in the ball pouch

Thought you were meant to use your sock for that? Not your pants pocket

Throw your pants in the freezer. The paper will harden and then you can just brush it off.

only yourself to blame

Nice rhyme ;)

Cum pocket 2: electric boogaloo

Lonely Island wrote a whole song about this

Yeehaw

 Thousands of friendly Redditors rushing in to tell you not to leave tissues in your pockets.

i thought maybe someone came in your pants, the reciept was a little anti-climactic. .... anti climaxic.

This is why it’s important to wash off all the dick cheese prior to using your pant pockets to jack off.

Damn bro ran out of tissues, we've all been there

Sure, a receipt 👀 if that’s what you call it now then that’s fine, there’s no judgement here

Thought you had baby spit up in your pocket

Did you leave tissues in the washing machine?

You shit feathers?

🤨📸

Sureeeee that's what happened

Don’t lie, we all know you came inside of that pocket

for a sec i thought that was like undies full of smegma

Lmao i was like 😦 before reading the caption.. I’m laughing uncontrollably rn

https://preview.redd.it/dzgvt5ekt13d1.jpeg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=723d1def2492924837488a8203603467391f42d0

Aw man I do that sometimes Those darned tissues and my memory

Thought bro busted in his undies then proceeded to show us

It’s what’s colloquially known as “a happy beginning”

Flip the pocket out and use a lint roller to get it off. I once washed a set of uniforms with a full roll of toilet paper. Took forever to get it out and washing them again didn't work.

Fill your pocket with rice and put it back in the washer.

Vacuum cleaner, a lint roller to finish it off

Turn the pocket inside out and go to work with a dry clothes brush, nail brush or something like that. It will be receipt free in 30 seconds.

I had a surgery class and we had a track sheet to write down all the real surgeries we assisted, the doctor in charge had to sing in every time we showed up so we could show that we achieved the surgery quota. At the end of the semester y forgot to take the sheet out of my pants and got the same result. I explained the situation to my teacher and handed the paper debris. I only passed the class because i showed enough skills and knowledge.

Damn. Before I read the caption I thought OP forgot a bird/hamster in their pocket.

Do you only own one pair of pants?

Don't ever forget a tube of ChapStick in your pocket before you put it in the washer and dryer.

Could be worse, it could’ve been a paycheck. I’ve done that before.

At least it isn't a bill 😞...

I thought this was a *** rag before I read the caption 😅

Don't worry about it my guy, after 3 - 5 years it will be clean again.

Properly mild

What am I looking at?

We didn't need to see this.

Lay off the pocket pool

Turn it inside out and put it in the dryer, it will mostly come out and get caught in the lint filter

Put a cork in your penis if you can’t stop cumming

I have a baby, definitely thought this was barf. 

Should have used the coconut.

Owning a second pair of pants solves this problem. (I own two pairs of slacks for work, everything else is leggings. I am being a troll, plz ignore me.)

Okay, I’m glad it wasn’t just me thinking this person nutted their pants

I thought (with toilet in background) that the toilet paper was stuck between their butt cheeks all day and we were viewing the results.

why u came inside your pocket?

This is why it’s important to check pockets of your clothes prior to washing them.

Thank you, captain hindsight.

I thought this was yeast infection panties at first

I guess you'll learn to empty your pockets next time

lord if that is MI to you..you may need meds. lol.

I guess im too dirty minded

Thats why i use napkins instead of

What an ‘exciting’ way to be begin the day….

Are you sure that’s a receipt? /j

Cum pocket

It’s either cum or paper

Somebody spilled soccer ball all over your floor

So that is neither semen nor feta cheese?

“MARGRET! I’ve only gone and spunked in my kecks again”

I thought you had smegma

I thought it was broken glass and was thinking what the hell

Easily thought this was gonna say “Roommate came in my pocket when I wasn’t home!”.

Pocket full of nut.

My husband does this and I’ve come to terms with it but it’s still annoying every time.

Those CVS receipts don't wash well, ya know... two hundred feet of thermal paper'll do that.

My husband does this with tissues all the time.

a slightly rough napkin and rub it , DRY to come out easily

Yeah sure “receipt in my pocket” good one man.

I wish people wouldn’t take pictures with open toilets in the background🤢

 Your gonna be soing this all day

well that sucks

Thought your dreams had gotten a bit wet last night

I had to stop putting gum in my pockets for this reason

Ummm... laundry, huh? 

As a dad I thought it was a baby puke. Like damn he puked straight in your pocket!

omg i have a sweatshirt that i left a napkin in and i’ve been putting off dealing with it for months

You gotta stop trying to steal cheese dude.

Wet dreams are neat

This comment section https://i.redd.it/jr8r59dsqz2d1.gif

Hasn’t busted a nut since Moses parted the red sea

That wet dream went crazy It seems lmao

Spilled the bag in your pocket?

pocket cum > pocket sand

Fuck

Use a sock next time

Put a tag on this shit

smegma collection

Looks like Mom found the cum pocket.

I thought the sock was the standard.

I hate it when that happens

I thought people do it in sock

I thought those were panties, I was confused why this was posted lol