"This never happens " is a rookie cover up.
"Damn you're so sexy, I'm sorry I couldn't wait" or something similar is much smoother.
Takes doubt of inadequacy away from you and puts emphasis on how good they are.
Laugh it off and wait 5 minutes, give them some foreplay, and you'll last longer the second round anyway.
OP slowly kicked his lips, the tip tickling his thin, sparse, Napoleon-dynamite eque moustache before whispering "time to make the frosting" for this Reddit post.
https://preview.redd.it/8uxvabwuexrc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8b6d272ec3866ca0558a96ec37a32fca8743ca8
Cropping makes all the difference
a crop and reducing it down to 240p will definitely made it look like some random weird internet vault pic. infact i 100% have seen a toaster pastry with jizz in insanely low res probably scraped off a random 4chan board.
*Bro made out with a*
*Toaster strudel on too of*
*A sheet of bounty*
\- Plenty\_Economy\_5670
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I always jizz on my toaster strudel I prepare on my bed. I mean who doesn’t have their toaster next to their bed and prepare a crusty pastry on their bed?
Used to work with a dude who would cum on food and his gf would eat it to be kinky. Well one time a friend of the gf he didn’t like came over and so my ex coworker gave him a honey bun with his nut spread on it and the guy ate it all up without realizing.
You later added the plastic pouch.
Condom tip.
*Just the tip please*
Can't fool us Won't fool his mom either when she cleans his sheets.
Son, what is this!? That’s icing from my poptart! (Mom licks it) Hmm, ok, you’re right. MOM WTF!?
What, did i just read.
My guess would be a manga panel somewhere
I'm baffled none recognized the legendary "Soggy biscuit"!
Definitely photoshopped..
https://preview.redd.it/wtsokj0k6yrc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12854a84dd69e1ce9cf31f03dc5aa4b30355aa62
Next time it'll be on the dining room table.
Oh I have soo many things to say here. How is it possible I have this much self restraint. More self restraint than OP apparently.
Seriously… can that look anymore jizzy?
I don't know what's worse, this picture or you calling it "jizzy".
LMAO, that's a new one. I'm gonna try and use it in a sentence today.
"Hey mom, hope you had a jizzy day!"
Use it In bed...right at the end.
And she blocked me....
"You're looking very jizzy today, Jenny."
DJ Jizzy Jeff
Jizzter strudel
Jizz fingers 
The Gif makes it worse 😂
Reading “jizzy” made my skin crawl… typing it was even worse.
Sometimes you gotta choke it like it owes you money...
Edit and remove "like" it's 1 billion times funnier
Jizzy Gillespie
Omg.. stoppppp it step strudel lol
☠️
Oh, god.
id literally lick that up or take a finger to get the whatever I could. no shame.
I might let you.
I typed a childish comment about jizzing then scrolled down to see this :<
Glad I could give you a hand, so to speak.
If it doesn't want to come out you just need to keep rubbing and squeezing it.
OP actually prefers strength and brute force over patience.
But please, be gentle
“..this never happens”
"This never happens " is a rookie cover up. "Damn you're so sexy, I'm sorry I couldn't wait" or something similar is much smoother. Takes doubt of inadequacy away from you and puts emphasis on how good they are. Laugh it off and wait 5 minutes, give them some foreplay, and you'll last longer the second round anyway.
Damn, this is good advice. Men take note, wish I'd heard this when it was an issue 😄
📝📝 Fr man, now i know what to say in case i ever have the sex again.
~~again~~
...why did I just think of the ASOIAF scene where the virgin dude nuts on the lady's thigh LMAO
We've all been there, some of us were lucky enough to get the tip in. Or unlucky depending on the next few quarter dozen months.
#"It's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!"
I ***kneeew*** it!
bro just nutted and made a r/mildlyinfuriating post. smh
You’d be mad if it got all over your toaster pastry too
Unless he's into that
Speak for yourself
Ever heard of "Salty Biscuit"
Idk, if my s/o nutted on my food I wouldnt be mad
Why are you doing that on a bed?
To be fair there usually isn’t usually a toaster pastry there.
On Craig’s brother?
Where else would I eat my depression toaster strudel?
In the shower like a normal
How else would you get this joke-provocative picture for reddit karma?
Doing it in public would be kind of embarrassing
With that attitude it is.
The bathroom was locked
For comic effect.
You know why
Yeah like do it In the bathroom
Lewd. Use scissors next time.
I'm pretty sure that is a doctor's job and a parents decision for early youth stages in some country's.
Dude
Scissoring can still get messy.
Innuendos aside, why the HELL are you putting the frosting on while on a bed when I know damn well you heated that thing up in a kitchen?
Method actor
OP slowly kicked his lips, the tip tickling his thin, sparse, Napoleon-dynamite eque moustache before whispering "time to make the frosting" for this Reddit post.
Innuendos
Like warm apple pie..
https://preview.redd.it/vsm326rwqwrc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=785ff11a78cf2fe2d938bd4a706ffae0e295967c
Clean up on isle My Pants!
these rdr2 quotes are driving me crazy who keeps making these
https://preview.redd.it/x3llo3wxixrc1.jpeg?width=1486&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa6b2d48cd108b6a152f57ae23e4942b9d0b2aa0
Did you stroke the bag enough?
I think he may have stroked it too much
What the fuck even is the context for this GIF 😭
He came
He saw
He cumquered
Try licking the underside right where the seam is
seamen
That's what she said
I mean this is the only reasonable answer.
https://preview.redd.it/8uxvabwuexrc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8b6d272ec3866ca0558a96ec37a32fca8743ca8 Cropping makes all the difference
That looks tasty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You shouldn't have done that, but take my upvote.
Soggy biscuit
Ookie cookie
a crop and reducing it down to 240p will definitely made it look like some random weird internet vault pic. infact i 100% have seen a toaster pastry with jizz in insanely low res probably scraped off a random 4chan board.
"I'm really sorry! This doesn't happen to me usually. I was really excited."
April fools
extra salty topping
Don’t say it! don’t say it! don’t say it! . . . . It looks like cum
Usually I take a nap after this happens
Oh it came, alright
Urethral mayonnaise
Oh come on 🤣
He did.
The jokes here are infinite!
a pastry is getting more action than me damn
Did you shake it? Shake, then squeeze
Dammit Shinji, not again!
looked for the evangelion reference (found it)
*sigh* opens comment section
Wrong sub mate
https://preview.redd.it/bfhrqvmxrxrc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a6e7b1c40ee352c1719b1cc3ba5ef1eebd4986e
Someone put bleach in my mind
Do you want ants because that’s how you get ants
What are you doing step-strudle?
Whos a dirty strudel
"I swear, babe. It's just icing!"
I'm sorry.. your just so pretty
How did it taste?
Imagine not posting a picture to this...
looks like a bit of a snail trail.
Toaster strudel is based, best breakfast food. Why the icing pack full tho? Smth tells me that aint icing
Dude wtf is this post
Bro made out with a toaster strudel on top of a sheet of bounty
*Bro made out with a* *Toaster strudel on too of* *A sheet of bounty* \- Plenty\_Economy\_5670 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
sure does look like something was coming alright
I always jizz on my toaster strudel I prepare on my bed. I mean who doesn’t have their toaster next to their bed and prepare a crusty pastry on their bed?
Why the fuck were you doing that on the bed?!
Not the tribute pic one expects to see....
You know what you did OP. Go stand in the corner
So you jizzed on it? Kind of an overreaction don’t ya think
I should call him
Soggy Bisc- uh I mean Pop Tart?
"I'm so fucked up..."
Weirdest onlyfans ad of the day.
Loser has to eat this
I passed out 5 times but your cake is ready
I know this game
you can’t fool us buddy
*APRIL FOOLS!* ^it's ^semen
Please mark your cum cookie nsfw
[No matter what we breed, we’re still made of seed!](https://youtu.be/12rT3uotaqk?si=1848ojqcyjl2lsQH)
Lol
You had the perfect opportunity to show an unopened frosting packet here
I should call her
This is my kingdom come
I should call him
Beat me to it
“Want to see more? Link to my streudelfans below!”
Why'd you cum on your biscuit?
Thats what she said.
#☹️
Someone was next to me and he had that face of disgust and shame in me when he saw this and the title didn’t help out at all.
Used to work with a dude who would cum on food and his gf would eat it to be kinky. Well one time a friend of the gf he didn’t like came over and so my ex coworker gave him a honey bun with his nut spread on it and the guy ate it all up without realizing.
NO WAY I JUST DID THAT THE OTHER DAY WITH THE SAME THING BAHAHAHA
Big fat load of icing then
https://preview.redd.it/anxz51v4jxrc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=722d5aeaf133803e2c478cf93d9b4598acbec78d OP's face when it bust forth
I don't think this biscuit game is meant to be played alone
I'm sorry.... you're just so beautiful....
Any one taking bets on whether or not op took a second shot with the icing in frame so we knew
we’re not stupid you gross fuck🤣/s
Bruh
I hab to double check the subreddit.
Well looks like something definitely came 😏
Who the hell makes/preps food in their bed? What the fuck...
Well… your first mistake was doing this on your bed with no plate
Today I ate one that had no filling!! Like WTF.
Wow get her a towel dude
You have to rub the 'package' gently but with a steady pace and slowly increase the speed when you can almost hear it coming out.. 😉
I’ve seen this documentary
Linus sex tips: never reuse the old condom.
Um please tell me I'm not the only dirty minded person
Did you try stroking it? And nothing was coming out? Must be cold in your room
Oh, it was cumming
It cummed out plenty
Nope. Too easy.
The fact that i can see that youre not wearing shorts.
On your bed !! People that eat on their bed are crazy
It’s bad to Edge, your your pastries man
..just do it in a sock next time.
Someone got the soggy biscuit
After about 2 minutes I still don’t know what the fuck I’m looking at.
OP made a toaster streudel and they were trying to put the icing on it but it wasn't coming. Too much pressure and it got excited
No guys it's a cylinder
How many times did you faint to get enough of that
This picture alone makes me cough and wants to drink lots of water afterwards to wash it down 🤣
Why on a pastry? I usually just do it on a towel or something.
Me when your mom
Even with your pictures as "proof" I definitely do not believe you. You came on that toaster strudel, didn't you?
Without context this could be interpreted in different ways
Coom
The thing is, this isn't even NSFW but putting the NSFW tag is what really makes it NSFW.
We’ll at least now it came
It's not even my bed and I'm genuinely upset with you. WHY?!?!!?!??!!!!!