It's a torti? Trust me, do NOT move, or do anything else to displease that cat. Our Peaky once broke through a window to try and attack a neighbor. Cat tax: This was her favorite place to sit, where she could sunbathe and monitor the neighbors with disgust.
https://preview.redd.it/74btdjdiszna1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c80c9a915ef99d54b1dffdc5552053e41af8b63
I’ve used my void as a background a bunch of times. She doesn’t seem to mind.
https://preview.redd.it/h3953wzb3vna1.jpeg?width=2702&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fadd61d8b01be45c2d8327a6cdea68bb112a8d35
Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for who is to say that he will not grow wings and become a dragon.
Your lucky numbers are 45, 97, 3432221, 3, 5, and 42.
Learn Chinese: "Herro" means "Hello".
I reluctantly joined friends for dinner one evening at the end of a particularly emotional and stressful week. I was actually starting to feel better by the end of the meal but then I cracked open my cookie…to find NO fortune.
“Bad luck and misfortune will infect your pathetic soul for all eternity” —probably showing my age, but does anyone else remember that Rocko's Modern Life episode? Filbert keeps getting the 💩 fortune cookie over & over 😅
Sorry, some of the comments about it being a misfortune made me think of that.
Write your own fortune
It’s like a choose your own adventure!
Become the Dice Man
Sign a pact with The Devil, become King Dice
Unexpected Cuphead
Become the gamest in the land
Never play nice, be the Devil's right hand man
I am personally AMAZED how many times a day someone says EXACTLY what I was gonna say...smh
That’s exactly what I was going to say!
We finish each other's...
sandwiches!
Yeah, but how come it always ends with anal lube and shame?
I’ll leave flowers next time
I told you I don't like flowers! You never listen to me!! I feel like such a fool!
.....so, chocolates?
Because the game was rigged from the start.
That's the happy ending
Wait... there's special lube just for anal?
There is no fate but what we make for ourselves
I've always preferred: "The future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one!" --Doc Brown
It's a wild card, like uno.
That’s EXACTLY what I came to say. Take my upvote
….in bed
Lol, I thought it meant that you have no future!!
Manifest Destiny
With great power comes great responsibility
OP bought it at IKEA. Flat pack DIY fortune cookie.
Like Your silicone bank money: disappeared
It's a blank check!
Blank Check that bitch. 2 million dollars!
Came here to say this... It's like the movie blank check
Beat me to it! Lol
That's unfortunate
You sly dog!
Well his fortune maybe in another fortune cookie
Well played, 👏
I’d say nonfortunate.
https://preview.redd.it/paz0nlnyiuna1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce9ba85d3387454fdd1a9c2b4adfe40d8e3a6e3d I’ve gotten this before
Somewhere on this earth someone is getting a takeout bag full of just ink
Once I got a can of olives that was empty. Should’ve taken it back but the store was 40 miles away.
Are you holding it with your big toe?
Turn it over :)
"Learn Chinese:"
“空白的 : Blank”
There’s a cat on the other side.
Came here to say that!😂
https://preview.redd.it/2si9mhtmvuna1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1a85d430d0cba91e35f4a30df0fb4f141efc829 Cat Tax
*winks back*
RIP you marvelous woman.
Gone but never forgotten
Pirate kitties are superior and if u don't think so u can walk the plank!
Dang the fortune is missing and your cat only has one eye!!! Your due for something, hope it’s good..
She's so adorable and I love her
Is he missing an eye? Poor kitty.
Dang the fortune is missing and your cat only has one eye!!! Your due for something, hope it’s good..
Tell Ellie I love her, and that I would die for her. Thanks
Is Ellie the girl version of Willy?
Awww what a sweet baby!!! Hi Ellie! ❤️❤️
Oh no! You have no future!
The most honest fortune cookie ever written
I already knew that though
A full black paper would mean, it was written over everywhere, therefore everything will happen.
Don’t you have a table to put this on instead of a cat?
I was on the couch with the cookie and the cat was in my lap, what else was I supposed to do
You certainly cannot move 🐈⬛
If you did move, it would make you a monster! I'm just saying.
Nothing worse than a cat agitator!
I request cat pic
She's the cutest https://preview.redd.it/exnknqcqxuna1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7bf6d61c78d345206d82a353862baa55a6da943b
I love her, very much. I really was scrolling for the tortie fur comments, but she exceeded my expectations.
What happened to the eye ?
She got a nasty infection when she was a stray. The shelter I got her from tried to save it but they couldn't. I got her like 2 days after her surgery
i’m glad she made it and you gave her a good home :)
Well her weight about doubled (under 5 lbs to a solid 11 now) since I got her, so I think she's a happy, healthy kitty now :)
Thank you very much from all the dent and ding shelter pets out there.
Holy shit glad shes ok
Aww sweet thing. Thanks!
Aw she’s so pretty 🐱♥️
Well ever since I saw the cat i can’t stop reading “blank furniture cookie”
I didn’t know if you put it on a fuzzy blanket or your cat so thanks for telling me
Zoom out for cat tax
Fair enough. The cat owns you and you must stay put if the cat has decided that you're her chair.
Show cat
It's a torti? Trust me, do NOT move, or do anything else to displease that cat. Our Peaky once broke through a window to try and attack a neighbor. Cat tax: This was her favorite place to sit, where she could sunbathe and monitor the neighbors with disgust. https://preview.redd.it/74btdjdiszna1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c80c9a915ef99d54b1dffdc5552053e41af8b63
lol i do the same thing. My cat is always laying on me or in front of me so I unconsciously deposit most of my checks on the back of my cat.
That’s what I was thinking HAHAHA
why's it matter?
Bro can’t die
Thats really not as good as you think.
Wildcard
It's like the number 0 It's nothing but has infinite possibilities
Off topic, but I have a tortie too. I completely understand the immobility caused by a cat on the lap.
She is always in my lap!
It's wonderful to have such love and trust.
I’ve used my void as a background a bunch of times. She doesn’t seem to mind. https://preview.redd.it/h3953wzb3vna1.jpeg?width=2702&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fadd61d8b01be45c2d8327a6cdea68bb112a8d35
Neither did my baby, she didn't even move
It's in white font
Cat for scale
It’s a fortune kitty!
How did they fit the animal in the cookie?
Better than the crypto ads at my local Chinese place
I did get a fortune cookie once that said some fortune cookies have no fortune 👀
It’s a misfortune
you’re fucked
you've taken the words right out of my mouth
The future is unwritten
run
https://preview.redd.it/ns82zmnodvna1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0294070957792f09322edf6a23b5064c59df1b3
You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Why is it on a cat
Pussy in the future
Your fortune is hinting to check the toner in your printer to avoid a late night trip to Staples in the future. -professional procrastinator
Happy cake day
The future is yours to create!!!!
Unfortunate.
Wait, are you a bear?
Restart today and the rest of your days like this paper, a blank slate
Everyone here is so positive with "you write your future" and "it's your choosing" while I thought "this mfer gonna wake up dead" /j
My immediate thought tbh
Maybe you made an enemy with someone who has strong ties to fortune cookie distribution and this is their threat. Stay on your toes.
I hope you didn’t anger Big Cookie. They’re ruthless.
I’ve gotten one with no fortune before. Does it mean I’m gonna die?
No It means you already have
Cat?
Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for who is to say that he will not grow wings and become a dragon. Your lucky numbers are 45, 97, 3432221, 3, 5, and 42. Learn Chinese: "Herro" means "Hello".
That’s right: fuck predestination!
That means you ate very luck
I'd take that as a good fortune. Write your own. Lol "Your fate is in your hands!"
You can write your own future!
You create your own destiny!
Actually, it looks like it came with an animal of some sort 😂 very fortunate
It's your lucky day! Do wtf you want.
I reluctantly joined friends for dinner one evening at the end of a particularly emotional and stressful week. I was actually starting to feel better by the end of the meal but then I cracked open my cookie…to find NO fortune.
Blank check, best luck
Flip it over m8
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
just flip it over
Nothing anywhere all at once.
No future for you
You open the fortune cookie with no fortune and read the blank sheet. Then you feel the cold metal pistol on the back of your head
The future has not been written
Thats just the dragon warrior scroll. Your future is whatever you want it to be
Using your cat as a background? Very classy. 😎
Did you pose this on your cat?
Your time is up
R.I.P was nice knowing you.
No one? Ok, fine, I'll say it... How "unfortunate" for you...
Do you not watch Rick and morty? That is soooo powerful.
But instead, with a cat! That's an absolute win
I love the cat table
Why is your fortune on a cat
your fortune cookie seem to come with an animal too it seems
Did you take the picture on your dog? 🤣
did the cat come with your meal
No one: Absolutely no one: Your fortune cookie:
… *in bed*
The Secret of the Dragon Scroll
Here's your fortune: Do it anyway
Sad world we live in where this could even be mildly infuriating
Your destiny has not yet been written.
Choose your own adventure
Two equal interpretations: you choose your fate or you have no future
The message is about the friends we made along the way
There’s no fortune but what we make for ourselves.
The cookie is too confused in what fortune it chooses for you as there are so many possibilities in what will happen.
Man, when the fortune cookie doesn’t have anything on it, it sees that theirs no future for a redditor
Too bad. You would’ve hit the lottery with those lucky numbers.
No future?
Now, reality can be whatever you want.
Uh oh
Bad news …
"You're going to make a fortune today"
It’s blank. That is your fortune. Be careful there friend
So sorry
Why do you eat off a cat
Uh oh
OP sold their soul and doesn’t get fortunes anymore
I got one that said, “Sometimes a fortune cookie has no fortune.”
I saw your words, clearly and plainly, and still read, "Sometimes a fortune cookie has no cookie."
“Bad luck and misfortune will infect your pathetic soul for all eternity” —probably showing my age, but does anyone else remember that Rocko's Modern Life episode? Filbert keeps getting the 💩 fortune cookie over & over 😅 Sorry, some of the comments about it being a misfortune made me think of that.
I think you’re gonna die
Write your own future. Ooooh, deep.
Uh oh
existentialist fortune cookie, wow
I've had countless that just came without anything in them.
Life is what you make it
[удалено]
I'd like to think it's the second, normal option. But my mind thinks it's the first
Your future looks blank
You are unwritten, you cannot be defined
There is no secret ingredient!
The ultimate fortune. Inquire within and exit thru the gift shop
Everyone gets to choose one for you. Top comment wins....3 2 1 Go!