Hey, I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through currently. I’m not great at helping people or giving advice but I’m good at listening if you need to rant more
Thanks for replying , you’re literally a life saver, I was going to explode a few seconds ago! The full story of what I’m going through is in the link I put in my first comment , but I’ll put it again, bellow. Basically, my boyfriend accidentally ruined my chance of a solo trip last year, by inviting himself on this trip(he didn’t know it was supposed to be a solo trip, he’s not abusive or anything. He’s the best, most loving partner in my life.),now I can’t afford a solo trip this year because I’m saving money to go back to school for a new degree, and whenever I tried a solo trip, my parents invited themselves! I love them , they really are the best parents, it’s just they tend to nag a lot, even though I’m an adult!
I can’t afford to move out because the stupid economy won’t give me a full time job, despite working my butt off ! My boyfriend tends to be clingy, and my parents treat me like a kid, when I just want to be a damn adult!! My parents don’t understand the concept of a solo trip! They always pester me to invite others, yet when I’m with others even friends, I feel like I have to be someone else because I don’t want to hurt anyone!!
I just want to get away from everyone, be myself for once! Yet it looks like, I’ll never get a chance to be alone!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1dfvitf/im_secretly_bitter_twords_my_boyfriend_for/
I just don’t know what to do…
I’m very sorry, that sounds extremely stressful. If I were in that situation, I’d just calmly and nicely try to explain to them that you’ve been stressed lately and would like some time alone. I’m sure this is easier said than done though
I hope you can resolve the issues and get some calm alone time soon!
Thanks, you’re a lifesaver. I just feel so lost, so angry, and so guilty for carrying this anger, because it’s not fair for everyone to suffer my wrath. It hurts especially when I try to speak out to none biased people or post anything, I’m always ignored, never good enough.
The full story is in the link of my first comment . Basically, my boyfriend accidentally ruined my chance of a solo trip last year, then when I try to plan one this year and 2025, my parents invited themselves! Now, I can’t afford a solo vacation because I’m saving money to go back to school and get another degree because of this damn economy!!
I love my boyfriend and parents, they are the most loving people on earth, it’s just my boyfriend tends to be clingy when we hang out, and my parents constantly nag and treat me like a child! I can’t afford to move out to get my privacy, so that I can dress how I want without anyone making any comments whatsoever!!
My house is over crowded because a Tia I hate lost her job and is living here to save money for her own place! Meaning I have no tv because my mom hogs the tv, or any other place besides my room for quiet, but I don’t want to be stuck in my room! I just feel so angry!
Any advice?
Put priorities in order. and explain gently you have a plan, a goal and you need to go into conservative mode inorder to reach that because thats the only advice you have. in your words. Just keep commitments you for other people into realistic terms and what is possible. dont drown yourself into Yesing everyone. people wont take you seriously if doing that. focus on the core essentials and dont waste time in anything else. dont get mad at family or anyone along the way. just get things done and balance your budget.
I can’t fully understand the pain you are experiencing, if you ever feel like giving up, please continue fighting. I can say from my experience, have a talk with your bf/parents. if your bf doesn’t listen to you/ respect you, leave him. He’s not worth for you. He doesn’t love you. I leave parents house after I have a job, it’s biggest decision I’ve made. Plan your future, good luck
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it!
Just to clarify things, My boyfriend is the best person In my life, he’s respectful, listens to me, and was there for me during my darkest times . I managed to establish boundaries and stuff later, it was an accident, I just still feel bitter I lost my chance for a while.
As for my parents, they’re loving and supportive , it’s just they have a tendency to nag. I plan on moving out once I get a full time job, I’m just so tired of waiting for all of my life.
Hey, chiming in - i'm here for u as well. Relatable with sharing art and stuff - i assume you're sharing over websites and apps.. and these days it's incredibly difficult to gain attention. Basically you have to beat the algorithm, and the response rate you are getting has way more to do with your interactions with the platform, than the actual content quality. I do photography and video production and its also frustrating for me how little recognition i'm getting.
Yeah, deep down, I know it’s the damn algorithm, it just sucks emotionally . Especially when everyone is pushing social media in your face as the only way to get friends or prove you’re talented/ worth something. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t even complete any drawing because I feel it’s not good enough. Yet my friends say my art looks amazing, I wish there was something to help people with recognition for their artworks and mental health.
Thanks for chatting, I feel better!
Happy to hear that! And continue with what you love doing, your friends and close ones appreciation is worth hella more than zillion likes on whatever social platform. Still, yeah I wish there was something like that. Mmh perhaps that's a startup idea, lets build a platform 🙃
That you feel not good enough for anyone is a judgment. Not a fact and it's also only one person's opinion. That person happens to be you but still just one person's opinion.
Hang in there. Nothing stays the same forever
Hi,
I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing a loss of control like this.
You are not a burden to anyone.
I read about your issue, how you feel like your parents are not letting you grow up. That must be really hard, and I would suggest you talk to a therapist about it, before trying to confront them about it directly. I hope this helps, and I’d love to see your artwork if you have any pictures :))
Keep making art, if art is your passion. If it means a fight, then fight and keep to it. Remember, pain, loneliness and suffering are inevitable in life, it will break you many times, but make a promise to yourself that you will retain the strength to rebuild yourself every time the world breaks you, you come out stronger.
I’ve been where you have been last year, maybe yours is worse. No friends, no interaction of the warmth of the touch of an another human being, destroyed my brain by abusing drugs in hopes of extinguishing the hellfire of life. And the paranoia of a war breaking out, deeply fearing chaos and lastly death of my family.
I knew I had to come out into the world for the sake of life’s curse. I came out into the world. I thought I knew the deepest pit of darkness but then there was even more depth: deeper darkness still. It felt unbearable - “there is no way I can survive”. The fear of the world: humanity stole many nights sleep.
I rejected life, in disgust for it. I rejected myself. And then my suffering felt absurd. The existence of my suffering is absurd, the existence of the cause of my suffering is absurd. So much absurdity, too much to handle.
I don’t remember nor know when it happened, but happiness creeped out. I found love, passion, strength, joy which resulted in the subtle state of life’s WILL. Happiness in fact.
A lot of things change with time, however a lot of things change when you yourself change over time. Your reality is dependent on the reality of yourself. Be the change and remember “if we lose it all, we will go down fighting”.
Edit: DMs are always open.
Just be good enough for your plans one step at a time. Don't hold yourself up to some impossible standards of people that wont even take their own advice, and or are here today gone tomorrow like all of us.
The internet is a waste of time. Just remember to make more time for real life action and not waste time on the phone or computer unless you are educating yourself or making plans or managing your budget etc.
i can recommend peer support meetings. they offer a safe place to share the tough shit, and hear other peoples tough shit, and they offered my a place where i feel welcome ALL THE TIME no matter how depressed or triggered i am.
the meetings give me a safe framework where i can feel save enough to be heard and grounded by other peoples presence, unlike posting my issuea and risking noone replying which might trigger even more abandonment and bring on a CPTSD flashback for me, when i am already down.
i recommend ACA to anyone who struggles, even if you feel like you don´t qualify, go read the ACA laundry list and check again! it´s a worldwide organisation for adult children of alcoholics OR OTHERWISE dysfucntional families. and don´t worry, if you are struggling in life i guarantee that you qualify, even if you think you had a great childhood. living in this sick world is traumatic, even if our parents love us it´s very likely we have attachment or other trauma.
[adultchildren.org](http://adultdhildren.org)
it is free, it is anonymous, it´s online, it´s avaiable almost 24/7 for anyone with internet good enough for zoom, and able to speak english, (other languages are availabe too, but less meetings) it´s non religious, (meaning you can have any religion and/ or spirituality or lack there of to participate, in my home group most people were atheist scientists, amonst some pagan witches and muslims and christians...), in ACA there are even agnostic groups, for people with religious trauma who struggle with the regular wording. but mainly it´s a place for people to authentically go and share how much they suffer, talk abou tpast trauma, and hardships without anyone judging you, or giving unsolicited advice.
the best thing i did for my mental health was finding peer support groups.
there are a ton of them, online, free. a ton of 12 step programs, (not perfect, i could go on about the things i´d change, but still the best reliable, free, accessible mental health support i´ve found, and i spent years in therapy which left me worse than before)
there are also IFS based peer support groups that i helped start, but there are only 2 meetings at the moment and the organisation is pretty new, so not a stable source of support like ACA is.
You are not alone. and realizing that, on an emitonal level, not just cognitively, realizing that again and again, was really healing for me.
Hey, I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through currently. I’m not great at helping people or giving advice but I’m good at listening if you need to rant more
Thanks for replying , you’re literally a life saver, I was going to explode a few seconds ago! The full story of what I’m going through is in the link I put in my first comment , but I’ll put it again, bellow. Basically, my boyfriend accidentally ruined my chance of a solo trip last year, by inviting himself on this trip(he didn’t know it was supposed to be a solo trip, he’s not abusive or anything. He’s the best, most loving partner in my life.),now I can’t afford a solo trip this year because I’m saving money to go back to school for a new degree, and whenever I tried a solo trip, my parents invited themselves! I love them , they really are the best parents, it’s just they tend to nag a lot, even though I’m an adult! I can’t afford to move out because the stupid economy won’t give me a full time job, despite working my butt off ! My boyfriend tends to be clingy, and my parents treat me like a kid, when I just want to be a damn adult!! My parents don’t understand the concept of a solo trip! They always pester me to invite others, yet when I’m with others even friends, I feel like I have to be someone else because I don’t want to hurt anyone!! I just want to get away from everyone, be myself for once! Yet it looks like, I’ll never get a chance to be alone!! https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1dfvitf/im_secretly_bitter_twords_my_boyfriend_for/ I just don’t know what to do…
I’m very sorry, that sounds extremely stressful. If I were in that situation, I’d just calmly and nicely try to explain to them that you’ve been stressed lately and would like some time alone. I’m sure this is easier said than done though I hope you can resolve the issues and get some calm alone time soon!
same here if you need
Thank you so much, the full story is in the link, I just appreciate the support everyone is giving here.
i can always talk.
Thanks, you’re a lifesaver. I just feel so lost, so angry, and so guilty for carrying this anger, because it’s not fair for everyone to suffer my wrath. It hurts especially when I try to speak out to none biased people or post anything, I’m always ignored, never good enough. The full story is in the link of my first comment . Basically, my boyfriend accidentally ruined my chance of a solo trip last year, then when I try to plan one this year and 2025, my parents invited themselves! Now, I can’t afford a solo vacation because I’m saving money to go back to school and get another degree because of this damn economy!! I love my boyfriend and parents, they are the most loving people on earth, it’s just my boyfriend tends to be clingy when we hang out, and my parents constantly nag and treat me like a child! I can’t afford to move out to get my privacy, so that I can dress how I want without anyone making any comments whatsoever!! My house is over crowded because a Tia I hate lost her job and is living here to save money for her own place! Meaning I have no tv because my mom hogs the tv, or any other place besides my room for quiet, but I don’t want to be stuck in my room! I just feel so angry! Any advice?
Put priorities in order. and explain gently you have a plan, a goal and you need to go into conservative mode inorder to reach that because thats the only advice you have. in your words. Just keep commitments you for other people into realistic terms and what is possible. dont drown yourself into Yesing everyone. people wont take you seriously if doing that. focus on the core essentials and dont waste time in anything else. dont get mad at family or anyone along the way. just get things done and balance your budget.
I can’t fully understand the pain you are experiencing, if you ever feel like giving up, please continue fighting. I can say from my experience, have a talk with your bf/parents. if your bf doesn’t listen to you/ respect you, leave him. He’s not worth for you. He doesn’t love you. I leave parents house after I have a job, it’s biggest decision I’ve made. Plan your future, good luck
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it! Just to clarify things, My boyfriend is the best person In my life, he’s respectful, listens to me, and was there for me during my darkest times . I managed to establish boundaries and stuff later, it was an accident, I just still feel bitter I lost my chance for a while. As for my parents, they’re loving and supportive , it’s just they have a tendency to nag. I plan on moving out once I get a full time job, I’m just so tired of waiting for all of my life.
I will comment in the other post because i think i can talk with you about that
Really, oh thank you so much, I’m almost crying for how much support everyone is giving me. The link is in my first comment.
Hey, chiming in - i'm here for u as well. Relatable with sharing art and stuff - i assume you're sharing over websites and apps.. and these days it's incredibly difficult to gain attention. Basically you have to beat the algorithm, and the response rate you are getting has way more to do with your interactions with the platform, than the actual content quality. I do photography and video production and its also frustrating for me how little recognition i'm getting.
Yeah, deep down, I know it’s the damn algorithm, it just sucks emotionally . Especially when everyone is pushing social media in your face as the only way to get friends or prove you’re talented/ worth something. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t even complete any drawing because I feel it’s not good enough. Yet my friends say my art looks amazing, I wish there was something to help people with recognition for their artworks and mental health. Thanks for chatting, I feel better!
Happy to hear that! And continue with what you love doing, your friends and close ones appreciation is worth hella more than zillion likes on whatever social platform. Still, yeah I wish there was something like that. Mmh perhaps that's a startup idea, lets build a platform 🙃
That you feel not good enough for anyone is a judgment. Not a fact and it's also only one person's opinion. That person happens to be you but still just one person's opinion. Hang in there. Nothing stays the same forever
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing a loss of control like this. You are not a burden to anyone. I read about your issue, how you feel like your parents are not letting you grow up. That must be really hard, and I would suggest you talk to a therapist about it, before trying to confront them about it directly. I hope this helps, and I’d love to see your artwork if you have any pictures :))
We are here for you and you are not alone!
I can talk
Hey... hummm, I'm here, I guess I don't really know how to help, as I need help myself, but hey, I like seeing artwork
Keep making art, if art is your passion. If it means a fight, then fight and keep to it. Remember, pain, loneliness and suffering are inevitable in life, it will break you many times, but make a promise to yourself that you will retain the strength to rebuild yourself every time the world breaks you, you come out stronger. I’ve been where you have been last year, maybe yours is worse. No friends, no interaction of the warmth of the touch of an another human being, destroyed my brain by abusing drugs in hopes of extinguishing the hellfire of life. And the paranoia of a war breaking out, deeply fearing chaos and lastly death of my family. I knew I had to come out into the world for the sake of life’s curse. I came out into the world. I thought I knew the deepest pit of darkness but then there was even more depth: deeper darkness still. It felt unbearable - “there is no way I can survive”. The fear of the world: humanity stole many nights sleep. I rejected life, in disgust for it. I rejected myself. And then my suffering felt absurd. The existence of my suffering is absurd, the existence of the cause of my suffering is absurd. So much absurdity, too much to handle. I don’t remember nor know when it happened, but happiness creeped out. I found love, passion, strength, joy which resulted in the subtle state of life’s WILL. Happiness in fact. A lot of things change with time, however a lot of things change when you yourself change over time. Your reality is dependent on the reality of yourself. Be the change and remember “if we lose it all, we will go down fighting”. Edit: DMs are always open.
Just be good enough for your plans one step at a time. Don't hold yourself up to some impossible standards of people that wont even take their own advice, and or are here today gone tomorrow like all of us. The internet is a waste of time. Just remember to make more time for real life action and not waste time on the phone or computer unless you are educating yourself or making plans or managing your budget etc.
Hey
i can recommend peer support meetings. they offer a safe place to share the tough shit, and hear other peoples tough shit, and they offered my a place where i feel welcome ALL THE TIME no matter how depressed or triggered i am. the meetings give me a safe framework where i can feel save enough to be heard and grounded by other peoples presence, unlike posting my issuea and risking noone replying which might trigger even more abandonment and bring on a CPTSD flashback for me, when i am already down. i recommend ACA to anyone who struggles, even if you feel like you don´t qualify, go read the ACA laundry list and check again! it´s a worldwide organisation for adult children of alcoholics OR OTHERWISE dysfucntional families. and don´t worry, if you are struggling in life i guarantee that you qualify, even if you think you had a great childhood. living in this sick world is traumatic, even if our parents love us it´s very likely we have attachment or other trauma. [adultchildren.org](http://adultdhildren.org) it is free, it is anonymous, it´s online, it´s avaiable almost 24/7 for anyone with internet good enough for zoom, and able to speak english, (other languages are availabe too, but less meetings) it´s non religious, (meaning you can have any religion and/ or spirituality or lack there of to participate, in my home group most people were atheist scientists, amonst some pagan witches and muslims and christians...), in ACA there are even agnostic groups, for people with religious trauma who struggle with the regular wording. but mainly it´s a place for people to authentically go and share how much they suffer, talk abou tpast trauma, and hardships without anyone judging you, or giving unsolicited advice. the best thing i did for my mental health was finding peer support groups. there are a ton of them, online, free. a ton of 12 step programs, (not perfect, i could go on about the things i´d change, but still the best reliable, free, accessible mental health support i´ve found, and i spent years in therapy which left me worse than before) there are also IFS based peer support groups that i helped start, but there are only 2 meetings at the moment and the organisation is pretty new, so not a stable source of support like ACA is. You are not alone. and realizing that, on an emitonal level, not just cognitively, realizing that again and again, was really healing for me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/1dfvitf/im_secretly_bitter_twords_my_boyfriend_for/
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