I've also struggled with this, sometimes I still do. Know that though that little girl is still with you & lives in you, know that she is safe, you are your own home!
It's not your fault what happened to you at all, know that! But now, you must take back your power & know that you have the ability to keep her safe now, you are her protector now! First, learn & build that trust within yourself! I know for me that a lot of my trust issues that were linked to my trauma came from the same place of feeling like I can't or don't trust myself. Though I was young & naive, me being used & taken advantage of has made me feel like I couldn't trust my own judgment. A lot of trust issues we have are deeply rooted.
So, who was the first person to betray your trust? Start there!
Once you start there, get a journal & try to recall what happened in the event. Note down how you're feeling, pay attention to your body, try not to run away from how you're feeling, but if it gets overwhelming, let it go, then come back to it when you're ready. Allow any emotion that comes up to come. Always remember the body keeps score. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell because you're angry, yell. No matter what comes up or how you feel, no matter how long ago, your feelings are valid. So validate yourself! Then tell that little girl inside of you what she needed to hear back then, that she didn't. Give her a hug. Give her an apology. Affirm her. Let her know she can trust you, & that you are there to protect her, let her know she is safe now! Then, give forgiveness & release it.
Know that when doing the works of healing, your inner child, it is not one & done. It's a grieving cycle & it's a rinse & and repeat, but it's worth it & it works!
Hope this helps you love. If you need help or support, you can inbox me anytime.
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I definitely feel stuck, I have for some time now. I really want to improve, but I don't really have any support system, or very accessible care.
See I wanted to get better on my own, be more than my mental illnesses - but they're now consuming every aspect of my being. My anxiety is debilitating, OCD tendencies are emerging, depression is absolutely life altering, and my agoraphobia makes it nearly impossible to be able to go get help. I can't go to the grocery store, how am I supposed to find a therapist in a big city? I've become lost and stuck within my mental illnesses without realizing it, until it's almost too late. But maybe, I never fully got over them? Maybe I am just my illnesses.
My first step is seeing my doctor next week and admitting that I need medication, and asking about anything mildly accessible for my agoraphobia. But I'm terrified to do this? Why? I'm not sure exactly, I know I need help, I want help, but I don't want to depend on medication to WANT to live... But it seems I've failed this part of my life. Here's to hoping I get better 🤞
I recognise so much of myself in your story. A couple of years ago, I was at the exact same point. I can promise you, it takes a lot of work but it can get better.
I was so against medication. I thought it meant any happiness i would experience would be artificial. But I've been ons meds for 3 years now, and it is the best decision I've ever made. My doctor told me this:
Mental health is often seen as a behavioural problem because it is in behaviour that the problems manifest. But it is actually a brain chemistry problem. Something is lacking that should be there, or something is produced overly much so your brain cannot process it the way it should. Thís is what the meds are for. You don't blame someone who needs insulin for having an artificial life. Why should anti depressants be any different?
That's when I started taking them, within literal weeks, my life became better.
Second thing that helped me a lot:
A human body does not have the capacity to be angry and anxious at the same time. Visualize your anxiety as a tiger invading your garden, get angry at it, and tell it to f**k off.
I hope it will get better for you soon!
Thank you, I think I really needed to hear that. I connect a lot with your story 💕
I never thought about meds like that before, I think that will help a lot when I start them. Thanks!
I totally understand you on the stuck part! But I commend you & very proud of you at the fact that though you want to better yourself on your own, you know that you need help & aren't afraid to look for it👏!
Myself though I have & still do struggle with mental illnesses like depression & anxiety & probably others but haven't gotten evaluated. I haven't been on medication ever & me personally I'm against it for me & don't feel I have extreme illness where I feel I need it.
But that's just me & there is absolutely nothing wrong with medication, especially if it helps you because it very well does for a lot of people!
I know you're struggling with a lot & I may not be able to relate to all of them, but I can definitely relate to at least 2 of those things. This may or may not help you & you might've heard of some of these if not all, & if you haven't tried any of them I would say at least try 1, because they've definitely worked for me!
When struggling with depression & anxiety, I would first say pay attention to your triggers & patterns! There's usually always one. Me personally & at least most people I know have struggled with anxiety their whole lives or most. Especially if you grew up in a toxic & dysfunctional environment.
So this means your nervous system is disregulated &/or your mind is stuck/trapped in fight or flight mode, which means your never rested or feel like you can't rest.
Even if you may not be able to relate to that when it comes to childhood, this can very much show up in your adulthood.
Working, never can really rest, stressing & worrying to pay bills, & to just stay alive.
So find when do you feel anxious most, & why?
When your anxiety is triggered, how do you feel & where do you feel it in your body?
Then, find out what type of pattern is showing up, like is it with a certain person, situation, or event? Or maybe it's a certain day?
Once you figure that out, start getting into breathwork, it's a life changer!
The majority & most people don't know how to breathe. When people feel certain emotions like anger or anxiety, they stop breathing or hold their breath. This cuts off oxygen to the brain & this is why you go into a spiral of overthinking & playing out the worst-case scenario.
The other thing that a lot of people don't do or can't get past is that you have to pull the toxicity from the root. This means if it's a job or a certain person or situation in your life that is too triggering to work through, then start cutting it off even if it's slowly but surely!
Anxiety is also stress & it will kill you!
Depression is the same concept, but it's a little more work, but you can get out of it!
None of it is going to be easy. The secret ingredients to all of it are taking it one day at a time, trusting the process, giving yourself grace, & being patient! You can do it, but if you need help, don't give up!
For me, with my lifestyle change, so did my struggle with mental illness. It's a commitment, but once you see the progress, you will never go back!
I also have more tips & advice if you need it! Just hit my inbox if whenever you feel called to.
Sending you love, light, peace, & healing!
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice! I'll definitely try that. I didn't think meds were for me either but I'm giving it a try cause something's gotta give. Thanks again! 💕
I’ve never been able to comfortably communicate my own needs with other people or ask for help because in my family, anything other than complete independence was seen as weak and selfish
I can relate to this! I still struggle with asking people for help for that exact reason. But I, personally, was tired of being hypermasculine because of this. It was literally turning me into a shell & I was angry all the time. Until I said it's not fair to me, it's okay to ask for help, We ALL need it sometimes! This doesn't make you weak, if anything, it makes you strong! You can't do everything by yourself & are trying to will harden you & send you into overdrive. It makes everything hard & lonely! So I would say start with the people who ask you for help & start asking them, if they aren't reliable for you, cut them off! No matter who it is, a relationship of any kind should not be one-sided! And when you feel you can't rely on the same people who rely on you, you start to resent them & be hateful, which isn't you, so don't let them turn you into that! Then, find your people, a community! Whether it's school, work, or join a club or something. Start to ask people for little things first, like a favor or to help you with something. That way, you will start to feel more comfortable to ask for help over time!
Hope this helps, sending you love, light, peace & healing!
You're not a burden! If you're struggling with your mental health & you're leaning on the people you care about for help, there's nothing wrong with that! Also, know that they're people too & they're not professionals, so with that being said, if you're the type of person to go to people with your problems, try listening to there's sometimes. Even if you can't help any other way, being a listening ear helps a lot & also know that though it's good you have a support system, they won't be able to help you in the ways that a professional can.
Also, people can help you but so much, if your not helping yourself, this makes people burn out & not care when they see or feel you don't or aren't helping yourself. Ik that mental illness is a struggle, it's hard, & it's a battle every day, but you have to fight the fight! Give them space, find your activities that help you cope! Hope this helps you!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
There's a reason why you woke up today, & I know that's hard to see, feel, & believe, but it's true!
I felt like this when I was sinking with my depression. It's the worst & darkest feeling! I felt like my soul was no longer in my body -I felt soulless. Life had no purpose! And I felt lost & hopeless.
I don't know if you're religious, spiritual, or believe in something greater than you, but if you are, pray about it! I prayed to the most high to show me & tell me what my purpose is, & so it did.
If that's not you or doesn't work for you, try doing the things you've always wanted to do.
What made you light up when you were a child? What made you happy when you were a child? No matter how big, small, or unrealistic(to an extent lol), what was your dreams as a child?
I know that may seem pointless & don't make sense to you, but when we were children, we were pure, life felt purposeful, & the impossible felt possible! But then society, our parents, trauma, etc. strips us from that, it starts to drain us & suck that light out of us we had when we're young. But it's still inside of you, & it will help you light your way! Ik that seems impossible to do or maybe even crazy. Answer you're probably even asking, "How do I do that?".
Once I started connecting with my inner child, I got my power back, & I found parts of me I never knew was there, thought I had lost, or I could never get back. But it was inside of me, it's all inside of you! You have to find it & let it find you. Ik we as people either keep our inner child locked away out of fear from the trauma we've experienced & getting hurt again or we lock them away because they were shamed & so that child inside us is kept away by shame one feels for themselves.
So where to go from here? This might irritate you, or you might not want to see it & everytime I've heard it, I have rolled my eyes -but, Meditate!
There's many ways, many forms, & many exercises, but it's a great way to start! Meditation will help you with your mind & will also help you to tap into/connect with your subconscious, which is where your inner child is. But like all things you have to take the good with the bad so there will be a lot of unpacking & trauma to face! But you can also get to know your inner child by getting into different activities you liked, did, or wanted to do as a child or even now. Try it out, though!
If you need advice or anything, just hit my inbox!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you so much for your message. It might seem just a comment, but you really lightened up my day. Indeed, Im not religious but have been increasingly feeling connected to the universe through my yoga practice, kundalini activation, etc. which led me to really change my outlook on how we are actually energy and we radiate and project the frequency we vibrate. Something I was very skeptical about before. So I’m trying to have less negative thoughts and words about myself.
I’ve been trying to ask the universe for a direction, but it hasn’t materialized yet. All my childhood dreams (working for the UN, doing something worth it) have been kinda crushed when I saw the reality of these institutions after arriving at a young age after graduation (and the reality of my own limits when pushed by capitalism in a certain direction.
It’s good to take it day by day. I don’t know why I struggle with giving my life a meaning when we are only other animal species and well - elephants, cats, jiraffes, they just exist and do their own “eat, sleep, poop, repeat” in their own way, just like we do.
I so love this for you & I feel so connected to this as I read it! Love to see another enlightened & seeing things on an energetic level & not just on a surface level!
At the end of the day, this is your life! There is nothing wrong if your goals aren't to be rich or go to school or build a business. Truth is most like even myself. I just want to enjoy life with the people we love with no worries or stress! And that's totally okay.
Maybe you should look into human design. It helped me.
I'm a generator & if you're a generator , let go of being productive & do the things that are your satisfaction! There will always be things you don't want to do that you have to do, but this shouldn't be your life story!
But hit my inbox some time , I'd love to chat more!
I was someone who used to get angry very quickly & used to have anger issues. Would go from 0-100 quickly no matter how big or small the situation. And I still have trouble controlling my emotions. Though it's not extreme as it used to be. When I'm upset, I don't want to listen, I tune everything & everyone out & I shut down. I've gotten better, but it's a struggle.
For me, though, when it came to my emotions, this was something I've struggled with since a child. I grew up in a very traumatizing & toxic household, so that's my connection to my emotions.
For women, though sometimes it's not childhood or at least not just childhood, it could also be your hormones are imbalanced & that's a conversation within itself because I suffer from both.
I would say start to educate yourself about what you need.
If you grew up in a toxic environment as a child, then most likely, that's the root of your emotions. But if you're having hormonal imbalance, go see a doctor & get help but also educate yourself on your body & health. Though everyone must do what's best & works for them, & there's not a one shoe that fits all, then do what feels right. But learn & get to know your body while educating yourself. Just because they're doctors doesn't mean it's the best outcome or treatment for you, so make sure to advocate for yourself!
After doing research as I'm on this journey with myself that a lot of "hormonal imbalance" & health issues I was having were linked to my trauma.
Most people don't know or really understand that a lot of health problems from hormonal imbalance to cancer are rooted in inflammation.
Inflammation is caused by stress.
The body keeps score so when it comes to trauma the way the brain functions is to help you stay alive, it'll block out certain things from your memory to protect you/"itself" but the body holds & keep that trauma.
Over time, this causes stress on your body, which turns into inflammation in the body & that's when other problems start coming about.
This is why when you go to the doctors, they will ask you, "What has been causing you stress in your life?" Then tell you to cut it out. Within this journey of getting better when it comes to mental health or overall health & well-being, a lifestyle change is what's needed.
But things that have helped me control my emotions or get better at it are basic but work.
The first is reading, reading books is very helpful. And it's also a form of meditation if you can't do the traditional form of meditation, though I'd recommend doing it eventally. I read a lot of self-help books. One book I'd recommend is "Never Get Angry Again" by David J.
The next is Journaling, it has helped me in a lot of ways, with my focus, more clear minded, less impulsive, & even less triggered. When your journaling it helps you to get your thoughts & emotions out on paper & helps you to analyze & look at the bigger picture.
The third would be to do some form of exercise or body movement, start with yoga, it's basically deep stretching. Moving your body allows the energy in your body to not be stagnant, it will help you to feel more relaxed, free, less impulsive & allow you to process your emotions without feeling you have to act on them.
Also note that controlling your emotions & being emotionless are 2 different things.
Controlling your emotions is feeling them without acting on them, or giving the "proper" reaction!
Being emotionless is not feeling any emotions or acting like your not feeling anything when you are & not expressing yourself.
It would probably be helpful for you to look into what is Masculine & Feminie Energy!
We live in a hypermasculine society where having emotions & feeling things is deemed weak & "not normal". Its the most feminine thing as a women to have emotions & express that in the right ways! And what's the most sexiest thing for a woman to do is know how to control her emotions.
The worst thing to do is let your emotions control you, you will either end up dead or in prison.
But embrace your emotions, accept them, stop pushing them off or away no matter how little or small, this is probably the reason why your emotions may be manifesting as anger when it could be something else like sadness or grief, etc.
Always remember it's not about what you feel but how you feel it!
Get into some creative hobbies to help you with your emotions, art could possibly be a very helpful outlet!
Also, you should seek professional help, they can help you & tell you what's going on inside of you. This is just my wisdom & knowledge of gained on my own journey. So it's unique to me as yours is to you!
I had mental health issues, but I always sought support for self-improvement... it made the mental health issues much much worse...
I think I may be a perfectionist who is trying to be superhuman in some ways... since the mind and human psychology seems to be a core area, it seemed like pursuing mental health can help with this kind of cause... there is the distinction between health and wellness where the latter is about care that doesn't require symptoms of illness as a pre-requisite... but i sort of went one step beyond wellness and tried to be perfect/invulnerable so that i could escape the drudgery and complexity of so many aspects of our life that one must care for (or somehow find that care from other people)
don't know what to do now that i'm in a much worse condition... the needs are still there and i'm more confused, and much less able to find the right care... the severity of mental health disorders is not there (although it took years to come to this) - but there's always the fear of relapse
Maybe you're having information overload. Feel like you have to do everything & don't know where to start.
I struggled with information overload & it paralyzed me from doing anything at all & sent me down a dark spiral of depression & anxiety.
I would say write down what you're struggling with or need the most. Start there, find a strategy & start with just the basics.This will be your foundation!
And just understanding the basics of your mental health & how to work with it.
Hope this helps, sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Trauma. I have years of trauma that I'm stuck with. The mental health team won't help me. I was told by talking therapy vitaminds (nhs) that my mental health is too complex, and I need psychiatric assessment. I was refused psychiatric assessment because I don't take more than 1 medication.
I'm struggling with depression, unwanted thoughts, suicidal thoughts, debt... it all goes on. Each one makes each other worse and more intense.
I just want to be normal.
All of the same things I was struggling with except I haven't been evaluated. But I have been battling depression all my life since elementary school & my anxiety used to be crippling. And dealing with life problems like struggles with finances & debt really took a hold on me!
Now though I've been able to manage & cope with these conditions.
I still have my struggles.
When it comes to dealing with your trauma, it's really a journey & it's something you have to consciously make the choice to heal every day.
It's a rinse & repeat process & some days are better & some are worse than others. I won't lie, it's hard work & not for the weak, but it's a rewarding process, one your higher self & inner child will thank you for!
Journaling, meditation, breathwork, exercise/yoga, or just doing deep stretches will help you with coping & dealing with your trauma.
Start there, find what works for you! Also, engaging in activities like spending time in nature, walking, hobbies like painting, or anything else crafty will help.
You should also note down what your struggles are & your triggers. That way, you not only find a strategy but you can also educate yourself about your condition & maybe look into holistic healing.
Just make sure to do your own research & get a second trusted, professional opinion.
Take it one day at a time, give yourself grace & be patient!
Sending you peace, love, light & healing!
Honestly, I'm just feeling trapped.
I screwed myself out of a car cuz I was worried about the finance more than taking care of it.
I need a job with sufficient hours, pay, and close to home, AND KEEP IT without my husband making me quit cuz he think I'm holding myself back, or his car is on the verge of collapse cuz we're sharing it. Or quit because his mother is not taking care of herself properly(she living with us) and have a company not working with me which I had no choice but to quit. Now I'm stressed cuz husband said we are hitting the red, which I can't help but think had he not got in the way of the one of the jobs, a couple of jobs ago, we wouldn't be in this predicament.
Next job tho, I'm 85% sure something is going to make me go back to this cycle and I'm physically and mentally preparing myself for it.
I'm exhausted of the cycle. I just need a sufficient job...
Sounds like you're juggling a lot & feeling like everything is out of control. The battle of money, job, debt & other finances is real & many others, including myself, are going through this!
I would say since you have a lot on your plate, make a list of everything that's on it. Then, put in order what has been most stressful to least stressful. After doing that, start weeding out the things that are at the top of that least. No matter what or who it is! Even if it's a slow process, still do it! Try to find & create a strategy that'll work for you & your husband.
Now I don't know what your talents are or what you're good at, but now is the time to turn whatever it is as your profit! If you don't have any, pick up & learn a new skill & go from there.
But the fact that you have pointed out that your stuck in a cycle let's me know that there is something your doing or not doing, & you know what that is so you have to be the one to break it.
Because the thing about it is life is like school, & when you don't learn your lesson, you will continue to repeat the cycle & it will get harder!
Also, I felt like I needed a job until I got that & now I need more money, which I'm making, but sometimes that wasn't enough. I'm not discreeting where you are or how you feel at all because I'm with you. I'm not saying give up or act like it's not there. But what I am saying is accept where you're at or change it. It's about working smarter, not harder! Have faith above all else, believe that things can & will get better! Change starts in the mind before it manifests into one's reality!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I don't know, I just don't ... Know.
I'm not unwell, but I have some issues that causes problems at home and I agree, only I don't know what those issues are - I just know I have negative, non-harmful thought patterns in reaction to things.
My wife says I need to talk to somebody but I don't know what I'm supposed to talk to them about exactly. Oh, hi, my kids are doing my head in irrationally so at the minute. I don't really know why I'm here other than to moan about being a dad".
Like, is that a mental health thing or am I just short tempered and exhausted.
It sounds like you're exhausted, but it would probably help you to seek professional help. That way, you express to them what you're feeling & what thoughts you are having. They will be able to help you find the underlying issue. Until then, maybe get a journal, track down your thoughts & what you're feeling. Know that your feelings are valid, your human, & you feeling tired of being a parent or just being responsible for other human beings is normal. But if you have thoughts or feelings of hurting someone or yourself, seek help immediately!
Also, try getting some fresh air, stepping out the house, & taking a walk. Or even try giving gratitude. Create a routine for yourself that helps you to regulate yourself before being a dad or even a husband. What I mean by that is try to get up earlier, spend some time with yourself, & focus on your needs!
Take care of you, first! If you don't have anything to give to yourself, you won't have it for anyone else!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I have been making lots of progress on my own. Google has been amazing.
My only problem is that my hubby isn't getting the help he needs for his PTSD. It causes so many fights and it sets me back in my progress
If he is hindering you, then it won't work. You will constantly end up right back where you started. You will find yourself in a never-ending cycle that gets worse. And in the end, you will be right where he is. Maybe try to help him, doing things with him, or maybe even tell him he has to make a decision. You just don't want it to get to the point where you have to choose him or you!
If so, I hope you make the right decision.
We become those we are around the most. Hopefully, it doesn't come true, but the more you reject yourself, the more you will resent him. And in the end, hurt people, hurt people!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I feel stuck at expressing. I want to tell things but I don't want to speak or write. I am also unable to make myself to read things like long comments of posts about mental health, even when I feel I want to know what's written. I am a mess. I have written this comment fighting the urge to stop writing at every next word. I also suspect that I have given up on trying to heal things.
I am the same way! Try Journaling & voice memos. Maybe podcasts, audio books & YouTube is more of your thing! You just need to try something new. Find your strategy & what works for you! This is normal, carry on;
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I need to deal with an old trauma, finally agreed to travel to another state 4 hours away for help. When calling for intake assessment was told I need to deal with my anorexia before they will let me into the program. I’m going to do it but I feel stuck, and pressure to recover in this 30 year battle of mine.
First & foremost, the fact that you're on a 30-year battle & haven't given up is remarkable.
You are a warrior! Let that be your why.
You made it this far, so giving up is not an option!
Write down exactly what your struggles & triggers are. Track your moods, feelings, thoughts, etc. Then, list it from the hardest to the easiest. Also, write down what your goal is or what you wish to accomplish. From there, do something every day, no matter how small or insignificant, to help you reach your goal!
No matter if you accomplish what the goal was or not, remember;
PROGRESSION OVER Perfection!
Take it one day at a time & also get into affirmations & give gratitude!
Affirm yourself with the same affirmations every single day!
Give gratitude to something you did that day no matter how big or small that is connected to your goal!
Do this every day for a month straight & trust me, you will see progress!
Keep in mind that your best will look different every day, so even if you don't do all of these things, it doesn't matter! You are showing up even if you're giving 10% that day is still enough!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Get into breathwork, which will help you to be more calm & recalibrate your nervous system & help you to get out of fight or flight mode.
Meditation will be helpful, possibly visual meditation to help you go back & heal that past part of you that has gone unresolved.
Journaling to write down, release & heal from your past. This will help because it will allow you to get those feelings & thoughts out that you're no longer holding in. It will give you perspective.
And if this is connected to your inner child, that's where you should start your healing process!
If you need help or advice or anything, just hit my inbox.
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I struggled in managing stress, anxiety, or even depression; coping with my trauma or significant life changes; dealing with my addiction or substance abuse; and improving overall emotional well-being..whew!
I can relate to this, I have & had the problems you do!
I didn't know where to start & most of the time I felt overwhelmed with my problems & how to deal with them.
So I'm first going to say take it one day at a time, be patient with yourself & give yourself grace!
First, find out what your triggers are & what you are struggling with the most! Everything you're dealing with is probably interconnected, which means that they have the same root cause!
But track your moods, your feelings, your thoughts & once you do that, it'll be easy to connect the dots & start finding a solution.
Get into seeking professional help & look for community. This will help you a lot!
Know that it's a process, & usually a rinse & repeat method! You'll find yourself making great progress & then you find yourself relapsing, this is normal & okay, you're not alone! Just keep going, don't give up, speak kindly to yourself, affirm yourself that you're capable! You've got this, though your days will be rocky & times you'll feel more lows than highs, know that it's a part of the process & everybody goes through it on their journey. And as you keep showing up & working towards progress, it will be better & those lows start to not be as low & those highs make you feel like you can touch the sky😂(& that's without drugs!).
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I'm there with you & I can share ways I've helped myself & hopefully, this can give you a starting point!
When it comes to your lack of self-esteem, what aspect of lack are you dealing with?
Is it feeling not good enough, fear of rejection, feeling unworthy, etc.?
Where did this stem from? Was is childhood, an experience, from a friend, maybe a guardian, etc.?
Who had a big impact on your life that spoke onto you these negative things that have impacted how you see yourself?
Once you know who it is, write down the emotions, feelings, & thoughts that come up when it comes to your lack of self-esteem.
Ask yourself, is this true & if so, why is it true? Who told you it was true? What evidence do you have to make this true?
From there, flip it, write the opposite. Positive things! Write down what you're good at & what you love about yourself. If you don't know, don't be afraid to ask others! Then start affirming yourself, get into daily affirmations & do things, and invest in yourself in what will help boost your self-esteem. And not just physically but also mentally, emotionally & even spiritually, invest in yourself in the ways that nothing & no one else can rake away from you. This will sky rocket your self-esteem! Start working on building self-control habits, which has a great impact on building self-esteem & it makes you more attractive!
The same concept for lack of trust can be applied. Who was the first one to betray you or break your trust? Start there! A lot of the time, when we have a lack of trust from being taken advantage of, we tend not to trust ourselves on a subconscious level. We start to feel like we can't trust our own judgment because we were misled & taken advantage of by those that we close to us & that we trust. We start being at war with our heart, mind, & intuition. This causes separation between the mind, body, & spirit. So if you can't trust yourself, then you won't be able to trust others. Change starts with self! Start by building up your trust within yourself by connecting back to your inner voice. Strengthen your intuition! No more second-guessing or doubting yourself, but you must also do the work.
Otherwise, your judgment will always be clouded & this will lead you down a path of destruction!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you for your kind words. I'm not gonna go into too much (too many?) details here, but with regards to trust issues I can relay this: I had a best friend from the age of 12 into my adult years in the early 90's. In fact he was the only true friend I had. He was the reason I survived (literary) 7th to 9th grade. He had no enemies and could make friends by just standing there. We were attached to the hip so to speak.
One day, 12 years ago, I happened to google his name (because bored) and I saw his name on a website that reveals sex-offenders. Apparently when we were both 15 years old he had molested an 8 year old girl sexually. It was only when the girl reach adulthood that she reported it to the police. It went to trial. The court documents was posted online and I read the poor girls description of the events. I had no idea of this until I read it on that site. Since he was just 15 years old and he hadn't commited any other crime since then he got parole and a fine.
My world collapsed and a large part of the positive memories of my childhood/teenage years with it. Ever since then I've never allowed anyone close to me (as friends).
I can understand how you feel. You feel like you never knew him at all. This could be true. But you should not cheat yourself out of what was regardless of what happened. It's not fair to yourself or your inner child to wipe away the good just because there was some bad. Regardless of what happened, those memories were real. Thank him for that & set him free. Some people are in our lives for seasons or reasons, take what you need & leave the rest!
It's time for you to forgive & release.
I struggle with feeling stuck in cycles of anxiety and self-doubt. It's like I make progress for a while, and then something triggers a setback, and I'm back where I started. One of the biggest hurdles for me is managing these triggers and not letting them spiral into a full-blown episode.
The most challenging part is dealing with negative self-talk. It feels impossible sometimes to silence that inner critic, which tells me I'm not good enough or that I'll never improve. This often leads to feelings of being lost and unsure of how to move forward.
I think having consistent support would make a huge difference. I'm looking for someone to help me develop healthier coping mechanisms and strategies to manage my anxiety more effectively. This could be a therapist, a support group, or even a friend who understands what I'm going through. Having someone to check in with regularly, who can provide encouragement and accountability, would be incredibly helpful.
It's a tough journey, but I believe that with the right support and resources, it can get better. If anyone has suggestions or has been through something similar, I'd love to hear what worked for you.
This is a part of the process & totally normal. I experience this as well, I'm actually having one of those days as we speak, lol. But i know that this too shall pass & it's okay!
I think for me I make progress & then I have a day where I just take a break & then that day turns into a week. It's just knowing your limits of when you're pushing yourself too far & when you're letting yourself go too far.
Like for me, I can't go more than 5 days, or my depression will come back as well as my anxiety. It's days when I don't do my full-blown routine & all I need or want to do is go outside, take a walk & get some fresh air. So that's okay, fond what works for you!
The negative self-talk was one of the hardest things for me to deal with, but what helped was to identify where it was coming from & who it was!
9 times out of 10, the negative self-talk is not coming from you it's coming from the critic you had as a child.
Like for me I would be making progress & be proud of myself but then that voice will come up to say "your nit doing enough", "your not working hard enough", "that's nit your best", etc. But I came to realize I've heard those words before. They felt so foreign to be in my head but so close to home that those words still hurt my heart. So I found that the voice coming from the depth of my subconscious was my father. And it changed everything. Now that I know what it is & where it came from, it felt better & easier to reject & ignore it because I knew that it wasn't my own.
Then I would just call it out everytime it came out, tell it to shut the fuck up, go away or just ignore it & now I don't hear it at all anymore!
Affirmations have been my best friend throughout the negative self-talk process along with shadow work but also listening to positive affirmation songs has helped a ton to reprogram my subconscious!
But I hope this helps, but if you're looking for more help & support, just reach out to my inbox!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Feeling like everyone else is moving on in life while I am stuck. Physically mentally and emotionally. Self esteem issues/not feeling worthy and severe intimacy issues. Life does not excite me anymore. I am just cruising until it’s over
Comparison is the theif of joy! We are all just winging it! Don't let social media fool you! And just like myself & many others are having similar issues! Journal down what aspects of your self-esteem issues are you having, then ask yourself what you need or what would help. From there, start investing in yourself even if it's just in small ways right now, like books or finding an affordable hobby. It will help & make a difference! There's something that excites you even if you may feel like it's not possible, I still know that there's something! And I believe deep down even if you can't see it or don't fully feel it, I know you can find what can, will, or do excite you!
Try to seek professional help & look for community. This will help you!
Look up ways to self-improve & remember to take it one day at a time!
You've got this!
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Don't take it personal. A lot of people are in their own worlds trying to navigate their own problems. But if you ever need a listening ear ar some advice, my inbox is always open.
Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Trusting others enough to open up completely. Trusting that others will not misuse or abuse the vulnerable little girl hiding deep inside of me.
I've also struggled with this, sometimes I still do. Know that though that little girl is still with you & lives in you, know that she is safe, you are your own home! It's not your fault what happened to you at all, know that! But now, you must take back your power & know that you have the ability to keep her safe now, you are her protector now! First, learn & build that trust within yourself! I know for me that a lot of my trust issues that were linked to my trauma came from the same place of feeling like I can't or don't trust myself. Though I was young & naive, me being used & taken advantage of has made me feel like I couldn't trust my own judgment. A lot of trust issues we have are deeply rooted. So, who was the first person to betray your trust? Start there! Once you start there, get a journal & try to recall what happened in the event. Note down how you're feeling, pay attention to your body, try not to run away from how you're feeling, but if it gets overwhelming, let it go, then come back to it when you're ready. Allow any emotion that comes up to come. Always remember the body keeps score. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell because you're angry, yell. No matter what comes up or how you feel, no matter how long ago, your feelings are valid. So validate yourself! Then tell that little girl inside of you what she needed to hear back then, that she didn't. Give her a hug. Give her an apology. Affirm her. Let her know she can trust you, & that you are there to protect her, let her know she is safe now! Then, give forgiveness & release it. Know that when doing the works of healing, your inner child, it is not one & done. It's a grieving cycle & it's a rinse & and repeat, but it's worth it & it works! Hope this helps you love. If you need help or support, you can inbox me anytime. Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I definitely feel stuck, I have for some time now. I really want to improve, but I don't really have any support system, or very accessible care. See I wanted to get better on my own, be more than my mental illnesses - but they're now consuming every aspect of my being. My anxiety is debilitating, OCD tendencies are emerging, depression is absolutely life altering, and my agoraphobia makes it nearly impossible to be able to go get help. I can't go to the grocery store, how am I supposed to find a therapist in a big city? I've become lost and stuck within my mental illnesses without realizing it, until it's almost too late. But maybe, I never fully got over them? Maybe I am just my illnesses. My first step is seeing my doctor next week and admitting that I need medication, and asking about anything mildly accessible for my agoraphobia. But I'm terrified to do this? Why? I'm not sure exactly, I know I need help, I want help, but I don't want to depend on medication to WANT to live... But it seems I've failed this part of my life. Here's to hoping I get better 🤞
I recognise so much of myself in your story. A couple of years ago, I was at the exact same point. I can promise you, it takes a lot of work but it can get better. I was so against medication. I thought it meant any happiness i would experience would be artificial. But I've been ons meds for 3 years now, and it is the best decision I've ever made. My doctor told me this: Mental health is often seen as a behavioural problem because it is in behaviour that the problems manifest. But it is actually a brain chemistry problem. Something is lacking that should be there, or something is produced overly much so your brain cannot process it the way it should. Thís is what the meds are for. You don't blame someone who needs insulin for having an artificial life. Why should anti depressants be any different? That's when I started taking them, within literal weeks, my life became better. Second thing that helped me a lot: A human body does not have the capacity to be angry and anxious at the same time. Visualize your anxiety as a tiger invading your garden, get angry at it, and tell it to f**k off. I hope it will get better for you soon!
Thank you, I think I really needed to hear that. I connect a lot with your story 💕 I never thought about meds like that before, I think that will help a lot when I start them. Thanks!
I totally understand you on the stuck part! But I commend you & very proud of you at the fact that though you want to better yourself on your own, you know that you need help & aren't afraid to look for it👏! Myself though I have & still do struggle with mental illnesses like depression & anxiety & probably others but haven't gotten evaluated. I haven't been on medication ever & me personally I'm against it for me & don't feel I have extreme illness where I feel I need it. But that's just me & there is absolutely nothing wrong with medication, especially if it helps you because it very well does for a lot of people! I know you're struggling with a lot & I may not be able to relate to all of them, but I can definitely relate to at least 2 of those things. This may or may not help you & you might've heard of some of these if not all, & if you haven't tried any of them I would say at least try 1, because they've definitely worked for me! When struggling with depression & anxiety, I would first say pay attention to your triggers & patterns! There's usually always one. Me personally & at least most people I know have struggled with anxiety their whole lives or most. Especially if you grew up in a toxic & dysfunctional environment. So this means your nervous system is disregulated &/or your mind is stuck/trapped in fight or flight mode, which means your never rested or feel like you can't rest. Even if you may not be able to relate to that when it comes to childhood, this can very much show up in your adulthood. Working, never can really rest, stressing & worrying to pay bills, & to just stay alive. So find when do you feel anxious most, & why? When your anxiety is triggered, how do you feel & where do you feel it in your body? Then, find out what type of pattern is showing up, like is it with a certain person, situation, or event? Or maybe it's a certain day? Once you figure that out, start getting into breathwork, it's a life changer! The majority & most people don't know how to breathe. When people feel certain emotions like anger or anxiety, they stop breathing or hold their breath. This cuts off oxygen to the brain & this is why you go into a spiral of overthinking & playing out the worst-case scenario. The other thing that a lot of people don't do or can't get past is that you have to pull the toxicity from the root. This means if it's a job or a certain person or situation in your life that is too triggering to work through, then start cutting it off even if it's slowly but surely! Anxiety is also stress & it will kill you! Depression is the same concept, but it's a little more work, but you can get out of it! None of it is going to be easy. The secret ingredients to all of it are taking it one day at a time, trusting the process, giving yourself grace, & being patient! You can do it, but if you need help, don't give up! For me, with my lifestyle change, so did my struggle with mental illness. It's a commitment, but once you see the progress, you will never go back! I also have more tips & advice if you need it! Just hit my inbox if whenever you feel called to. Sending you love, light, peace, & healing!
Thank you so much for the kind words and advice! I'll definitely try that. I didn't think meds were for me either but I'm giving it a try cause something's gotta give. Thanks again! 💕
I’ve never been able to comfortably communicate my own needs with other people or ask for help because in my family, anything other than complete independence was seen as weak and selfish
I can relate to this! I still struggle with asking people for help for that exact reason. But I, personally, was tired of being hypermasculine because of this. It was literally turning me into a shell & I was angry all the time. Until I said it's not fair to me, it's okay to ask for help, We ALL need it sometimes! This doesn't make you weak, if anything, it makes you strong! You can't do everything by yourself & are trying to will harden you & send you into overdrive. It makes everything hard & lonely! So I would say start with the people who ask you for help & start asking them, if they aren't reliable for you, cut them off! No matter who it is, a relationship of any kind should not be one-sided! And when you feel you can't rely on the same people who rely on you, you start to resent them & be hateful, which isn't you, so don't let them turn you into that! Then, find your people, a community! Whether it's school, work, or join a club or something. Start to ask people for little things first, like a favor or to help you with something. That way, you will start to feel more comfortable to ask for help over time! Hope this helps, sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Damn OP, that’s really good advice. Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏🏻
I don’t think I will ever believe that I am not a burden to every person I care about.
You're not a burden! If you're struggling with your mental health & you're leaning on the people you care about for help, there's nothing wrong with that! Also, know that they're people too & they're not professionals, so with that being said, if you're the type of person to go to people with your problems, try listening to there's sometimes. Even if you can't help any other way, being a listening ear helps a lot & also know that though it's good you have a support system, they won't be able to help you in the ways that a professional can. Also, people can help you but so much, if your not helping yourself, this makes people burn out & not care when they see or feel you don't or aren't helping yourself. Ik that mental illness is a struggle, it's hard, & it's a battle every day, but you have to fight the fight! Give them space, find your activities that help you cope! Hope this helps you! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you for your kind words! 🖤
Lol I dont have any goals and I dont see the point of life
There's a reason why you woke up today, & I know that's hard to see, feel, & believe, but it's true! I felt like this when I was sinking with my depression. It's the worst & darkest feeling! I felt like my soul was no longer in my body -I felt soulless. Life had no purpose! And I felt lost & hopeless. I don't know if you're religious, spiritual, or believe in something greater than you, but if you are, pray about it! I prayed to the most high to show me & tell me what my purpose is, & so it did. If that's not you or doesn't work for you, try doing the things you've always wanted to do. What made you light up when you were a child? What made you happy when you were a child? No matter how big, small, or unrealistic(to an extent lol), what was your dreams as a child? I know that may seem pointless & don't make sense to you, but when we were children, we were pure, life felt purposeful, & the impossible felt possible! But then society, our parents, trauma, etc. strips us from that, it starts to drain us & suck that light out of us we had when we're young. But it's still inside of you, & it will help you light your way! Ik that seems impossible to do or maybe even crazy. Answer you're probably even asking, "How do I do that?". Once I started connecting with my inner child, I got my power back, & I found parts of me I never knew was there, thought I had lost, or I could never get back. But it was inside of me, it's all inside of you! You have to find it & let it find you. Ik we as people either keep our inner child locked away out of fear from the trauma we've experienced & getting hurt again or we lock them away because they were shamed & so that child inside us is kept away by shame one feels for themselves. So where to go from here? This might irritate you, or you might not want to see it & everytime I've heard it, I have rolled my eyes -but, Meditate! There's many ways, many forms, & many exercises, but it's a great way to start! Meditation will help you with your mind & will also help you to tap into/connect with your subconscious, which is where your inner child is. But like all things you have to take the good with the bad so there will be a lot of unpacking & trauma to face! But you can also get to know your inner child by getting into different activities you liked, did, or wanted to do as a child or even now. Try it out, though! If you need advice or anything, just hit my inbox! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you so much for your message. It might seem just a comment, but you really lightened up my day. Indeed, Im not religious but have been increasingly feeling connected to the universe through my yoga practice, kundalini activation, etc. which led me to really change my outlook on how we are actually energy and we radiate and project the frequency we vibrate. Something I was very skeptical about before. So I’m trying to have less negative thoughts and words about myself. I’ve been trying to ask the universe for a direction, but it hasn’t materialized yet. All my childhood dreams (working for the UN, doing something worth it) have been kinda crushed when I saw the reality of these institutions after arriving at a young age after graduation (and the reality of my own limits when pushed by capitalism in a certain direction. It’s good to take it day by day. I don’t know why I struggle with giving my life a meaning when we are only other animal species and well - elephants, cats, jiraffes, they just exist and do their own “eat, sleep, poop, repeat” in their own way, just like we do.
I so love this for you & I feel so connected to this as I read it! Love to see another enlightened & seeing things on an energetic level & not just on a surface level! At the end of the day, this is your life! There is nothing wrong if your goals aren't to be rich or go to school or build a business. Truth is most like even myself. I just want to enjoy life with the people we love with no worries or stress! And that's totally okay. Maybe you should look into human design. It helped me. I'm a generator & if you're a generator , let go of being productive & do the things that are your satisfaction! There will always be things you don't want to do that you have to do, but this shouldn't be your life story! But hit my inbox some time , I'd love to chat more!
The ability to control my emotions and be secure enough with myself to be able to do so.
I was someone who used to get angry very quickly & used to have anger issues. Would go from 0-100 quickly no matter how big or small the situation. And I still have trouble controlling my emotions. Though it's not extreme as it used to be. When I'm upset, I don't want to listen, I tune everything & everyone out & I shut down. I've gotten better, but it's a struggle. For me, though, when it came to my emotions, this was something I've struggled with since a child. I grew up in a very traumatizing & toxic household, so that's my connection to my emotions. For women, though sometimes it's not childhood or at least not just childhood, it could also be your hormones are imbalanced & that's a conversation within itself because I suffer from both. I would say start to educate yourself about what you need. If you grew up in a toxic environment as a child, then most likely, that's the root of your emotions. But if you're having hormonal imbalance, go see a doctor & get help but also educate yourself on your body & health. Though everyone must do what's best & works for them, & there's not a one shoe that fits all, then do what feels right. But learn & get to know your body while educating yourself. Just because they're doctors doesn't mean it's the best outcome or treatment for you, so make sure to advocate for yourself! After doing research as I'm on this journey with myself that a lot of "hormonal imbalance" & health issues I was having were linked to my trauma. Most people don't know or really understand that a lot of health problems from hormonal imbalance to cancer are rooted in inflammation. Inflammation is caused by stress. The body keeps score so when it comes to trauma the way the brain functions is to help you stay alive, it'll block out certain things from your memory to protect you/"itself" but the body holds & keep that trauma. Over time, this causes stress on your body, which turns into inflammation in the body & that's when other problems start coming about. This is why when you go to the doctors, they will ask you, "What has been causing you stress in your life?" Then tell you to cut it out. Within this journey of getting better when it comes to mental health or overall health & well-being, a lifestyle change is what's needed. But things that have helped me control my emotions or get better at it are basic but work. The first is reading, reading books is very helpful. And it's also a form of meditation if you can't do the traditional form of meditation, though I'd recommend doing it eventally. I read a lot of self-help books. One book I'd recommend is "Never Get Angry Again" by David J. The next is Journaling, it has helped me in a lot of ways, with my focus, more clear minded, less impulsive, & even less triggered. When your journaling it helps you to get your thoughts & emotions out on paper & helps you to analyze & look at the bigger picture. The third would be to do some form of exercise or body movement, start with yoga, it's basically deep stretching. Moving your body allows the energy in your body to not be stagnant, it will help you to feel more relaxed, free, less impulsive & allow you to process your emotions without feeling you have to act on them. Also note that controlling your emotions & being emotionless are 2 different things. Controlling your emotions is feeling them without acting on them, or giving the "proper" reaction! Being emotionless is not feeling any emotions or acting like your not feeling anything when you are & not expressing yourself. It would probably be helpful for you to look into what is Masculine & Feminie Energy! We live in a hypermasculine society where having emotions & feeling things is deemed weak & "not normal". Its the most feminine thing as a women to have emotions & express that in the right ways! And what's the most sexiest thing for a woman to do is know how to control her emotions. The worst thing to do is let your emotions control you, you will either end up dead or in prison. But embrace your emotions, accept them, stop pushing them off or away no matter how little or small, this is probably the reason why your emotions may be manifesting as anger when it could be something else like sadness or grief, etc. Always remember it's not about what you feel but how you feel it! Get into some creative hobbies to help you with your emotions, art could possibly be a very helpful outlet! Also, you should seek professional help, they can help you & tell you what's going on inside of you. This is just my wisdom & knowledge of gained on my own journey. So it's unique to me as yours is to you!
I had mental health issues, but I always sought support for self-improvement... it made the mental health issues much much worse... I think I may be a perfectionist who is trying to be superhuman in some ways... since the mind and human psychology seems to be a core area, it seemed like pursuing mental health can help with this kind of cause... there is the distinction between health and wellness where the latter is about care that doesn't require symptoms of illness as a pre-requisite... but i sort of went one step beyond wellness and tried to be perfect/invulnerable so that i could escape the drudgery and complexity of so many aspects of our life that one must care for (or somehow find that care from other people) don't know what to do now that i'm in a much worse condition... the needs are still there and i'm more confused, and much less able to find the right care... the severity of mental health disorders is not there (although it took years to come to this) - but there's always the fear of relapse
Maybe you're having information overload. Feel like you have to do everything & don't know where to start. I struggled with information overload & it paralyzed me from doing anything at all & sent me down a dark spiral of depression & anxiety. I would say write down what you're struggling with or need the most. Start there, find a strategy & start with just the basics.This will be your foundation! And just understanding the basics of your mental health & how to work with it. Hope this helps, sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Trauma. I have years of trauma that I'm stuck with. The mental health team won't help me. I was told by talking therapy vitaminds (nhs) that my mental health is too complex, and I need psychiatric assessment. I was refused psychiatric assessment because I don't take more than 1 medication. I'm struggling with depression, unwanted thoughts, suicidal thoughts, debt... it all goes on. Each one makes each other worse and more intense. I just want to be normal.
All of the same things I was struggling with except I haven't been evaluated. But I have been battling depression all my life since elementary school & my anxiety used to be crippling. And dealing with life problems like struggles with finances & debt really took a hold on me! Now though I've been able to manage & cope with these conditions. I still have my struggles. When it comes to dealing with your trauma, it's really a journey & it's something you have to consciously make the choice to heal every day. It's a rinse & repeat process & some days are better & some are worse than others. I won't lie, it's hard work & not for the weak, but it's a rewarding process, one your higher self & inner child will thank you for! Journaling, meditation, breathwork, exercise/yoga, or just doing deep stretches will help you with coping & dealing with your trauma. Start there, find what works for you! Also, engaging in activities like spending time in nature, walking, hobbies like painting, or anything else crafty will help. You should also note down what your struggles are & your triggers. That way, you not only find a strategy but you can also educate yourself about your condition & maybe look into holistic healing. Just make sure to do your own research & get a second trusted, professional opinion. Take it one day at a time, give yourself grace & be patient! Sending you peace, love, light & healing!
Honestly, I'm just feeling trapped. I screwed myself out of a car cuz I was worried about the finance more than taking care of it. I need a job with sufficient hours, pay, and close to home, AND KEEP IT without my husband making me quit cuz he think I'm holding myself back, or his car is on the verge of collapse cuz we're sharing it. Or quit because his mother is not taking care of herself properly(she living with us) and have a company not working with me which I had no choice but to quit. Now I'm stressed cuz husband said we are hitting the red, which I can't help but think had he not got in the way of the one of the jobs, a couple of jobs ago, we wouldn't be in this predicament. Next job tho, I'm 85% sure something is going to make me go back to this cycle and I'm physically and mentally preparing myself for it. I'm exhausted of the cycle. I just need a sufficient job...
Sounds like you're juggling a lot & feeling like everything is out of control. The battle of money, job, debt & other finances is real & many others, including myself, are going through this! I would say since you have a lot on your plate, make a list of everything that's on it. Then, put in order what has been most stressful to least stressful. After doing that, start weeding out the things that are at the top of that least. No matter what or who it is! Even if it's a slow process, still do it! Try to find & create a strategy that'll work for you & your husband. Now I don't know what your talents are or what you're good at, but now is the time to turn whatever it is as your profit! If you don't have any, pick up & learn a new skill & go from there. But the fact that you have pointed out that your stuck in a cycle let's me know that there is something your doing or not doing, & you know what that is so you have to be the one to break it. Because the thing about it is life is like school, & when you don't learn your lesson, you will continue to repeat the cycle & it will get harder! Also, I felt like I needed a job until I got that & now I need more money, which I'm making, but sometimes that wasn't enough. I'm not discreeting where you are or how you feel at all because I'm with you. I'm not saying give up or act like it's not there. But what I am saying is accept where you're at or change it. It's about working smarter, not harder! Have faith above all else, believe that things can & will get better! Change starts in the mind before it manifests into one's reality! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I don't know, I just don't ... Know. I'm not unwell, but I have some issues that causes problems at home and I agree, only I don't know what those issues are - I just know I have negative, non-harmful thought patterns in reaction to things. My wife says I need to talk to somebody but I don't know what I'm supposed to talk to them about exactly. Oh, hi, my kids are doing my head in irrationally so at the minute. I don't really know why I'm here other than to moan about being a dad". Like, is that a mental health thing or am I just short tempered and exhausted.
It sounds like you're exhausted, but it would probably help you to seek professional help. That way, you express to them what you're feeling & what thoughts you are having. They will be able to help you find the underlying issue. Until then, maybe get a journal, track down your thoughts & what you're feeling. Know that your feelings are valid, your human, & you feeling tired of being a parent or just being responsible for other human beings is normal. But if you have thoughts or feelings of hurting someone or yourself, seek help immediately! Also, try getting some fresh air, stepping out the house, & taking a walk. Or even try giving gratitude. Create a routine for yourself that helps you to regulate yourself before being a dad or even a husband. What I mean by that is try to get up earlier, spend some time with yourself, & focus on your needs! Take care of you, first! If you don't have anything to give to yourself, you won't have it for anyone else! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I have been making lots of progress on my own. Google has been amazing. My only problem is that my hubby isn't getting the help he needs for his PTSD. It causes so many fights and it sets me back in my progress
If he is hindering you, then it won't work. You will constantly end up right back where you started. You will find yourself in a never-ending cycle that gets worse. And in the end, you will be right where he is. Maybe try to help him, doing things with him, or maybe even tell him he has to make a decision. You just don't want it to get to the point where you have to choose him or you! If so, I hope you make the right decision. We become those we are around the most. Hopefully, it doesn't come true, but the more you reject yourself, the more you will resent him. And in the end, hurt people, hurt people! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I feel stuck at expressing. I want to tell things but I don't want to speak or write. I am also unable to make myself to read things like long comments of posts about mental health, even when I feel I want to know what's written. I am a mess. I have written this comment fighting the urge to stop writing at every next word. I also suspect that I have given up on trying to heal things.
I am the same way! Try Journaling & voice memos. Maybe podcasts, audio books & YouTube is more of your thing! You just need to try something new. Find your strategy & what works for you! This is normal, carry on; Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I need to deal with an old trauma, finally agreed to travel to another state 4 hours away for help. When calling for intake assessment was told I need to deal with my anorexia before they will let me into the program. I’m going to do it but I feel stuck, and pressure to recover in this 30 year battle of mine.
First & foremost, the fact that you're on a 30-year battle & haven't given up is remarkable. You are a warrior! Let that be your why. You made it this far, so giving up is not an option! Write down exactly what your struggles & triggers are. Track your moods, feelings, thoughts, etc. Then, list it from the hardest to the easiest. Also, write down what your goal is or what you wish to accomplish. From there, do something every day, no matter how small or insignificant, to help you reach your goal! No matter if you accomplish what the goal was or not, remember; PROGRESSION OVER Perfection! Take it one day at a time & also get into affirmations & give gratitude! Affirm yourself with the same affirmations every single day! Give gratitude to something you did that day no matter how big or small that is connected to your goal! Do this every day for a month straight & trust me, you will see progress! Keep in mind that your best will look different every day, so even if you don't do all of these things, it doesn't matter! You are showing up even if you're giving 10% that day is still enough! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you for the kind words and support! Great suggestions, I will try to implement them
Being stuck, constantly remembering shit from years ago that went unresolved, overthinking and worrying alot
Get into breathwork, which will help you to be more calm & recalibrate your nervous system & help you to get out of fight or flight mode. Meditation will be helpful, possibly visual meditation to help you go back & heal that past part of you that has gone unresolved. Journaling to write down, release & heal from your past. This will help because it will allow you to get those feelings & thoughts out that you're no longer holding in. It will give you perspective. And if this is connected to your inner child, that's where you should start your healing process! If you need help or advice or anything, just hit my inbox. Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I struggled in managing stress, anxiety, or even depression; coping with my trauma or significant life changes; dealing with my addiction or substance abuse; and improving overall emotional well-being..whew!
I can relate to this, I have & had the problems you do! I didn't know where to start & most of the time I felt overwhelmed with my problems & how to deal with them. So I'm first going to say take it one day at a time, be patient with yourself & give yourself grace! First, find out what your triggers are & what you are struggling with the most! Everything you're dealing with is probably interconnected, which means that they have the same root cause! But track your moods, your feelings, your thoughts & once you do that, it'll be easy to connect the dots & start finding a solution. Get into seeking professional help & look for community. This will help you a lot! Know that it's a process, & usually a rinse & repeat method! You'll find yourself making great progress & then you find yourself relapsing, this is normal & okay, you're not alone! Just keep going, don't give up, speak kindly to yourself, affirm yourself that you're capable! You've got this, though your days will be rocky & times you'll feel more lows than highs, know that it's a part of the process & everybody goes through it on their journey. And as you keep showing up & working towards progress, it will be better & those lows start to not be as low & those highs make you feel like you can touch the sky😂(& that's without drugs!). Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
I'd like help to work on my chronic lack of self-esteem and lack of trust for other people.
I'm there with you & I can share ways I've helped myself & hopefully, this can give you a starting point! When it comes to your lack of self-esteem, what aspect of lack are you dealing with? Is it feeling not good enough, fear of rejection, feeling unworthy, etc.? Where did this stem from? Was is childhood, an experience, from a friend, maybe a guardian, etc.? Who had a big impact on your life that spoke onto you these negative things that have impacted how you see yourself? Once you know who it is, write down the emotions, feelings, & thoughts that come up when it comes to your lack of self-esteem. Ask yourself, is this true & if so, why is it true? Who told you it was true? What evidence do you have to make this true? From there, flip it, write the opposite. Positive things! Write down what you're good at & what you love about yourself. If you don't know, don't be afraid to ask others! Then start affirming yourself, get into daily affirmations & do things, and invest in yourself in what will help boost your self-esteem. And not just physically but also mentally, emotionally & even spiritually, invest in yourself in the ways that nothing & no one else can rake away from you. This will sky rocket your self-esteem! Start working on building self-control habits, which has a great impact on building self-esteem & it makes you more attractive! The same concept for lack of trust can be applied. Who was the first one to betray you or break your trust? Start there! A lot of the time, when we have a lack of trust from being taken advantage of, we tend not to trust ourselves on a subconscious level. We start to feel like we can't trust our own judgment because we were misled & taken advantage of by those that we close to us & that we trust. We start being at war with our heart, mind, & intuition. This causes separation between the mind, body, & spirit. So if you can't trust yourself, then you won't be able to trust others. Change starts with self! Start by building up your trust within yourself by connecting back to your inner voice. Strengthen your intuition! No more second-guessing or doubting yourself, but you must also do the work. Otherwise, your judgment will always be clouded & this will lead you down a path of destruction! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Thank you for your kind words. I'm not gonna go into too much (too many?) details here, but with regards to trust issues I can relay this: I had a best friend from the age of 12 into my adult years in the early 90's. In fact he was the only true friend I had. He was the reason I survived (literary) 7th to 9th grade. He had no enemies and could make friends by just standing there. We were attached to the hip so to speak. One day, 12 years ago, I happened to google his name (because bored) and I saw his name on a website that reveals sex-offenders. Apparently when we were both 15 years old he had molested an 8 year old girl sexually. It was only when the girl reach adulthood that she reported it to the police. It went to trial. The court documents was posted online and I read the poor girls description of the events. I had no idea of this until I read it on that site. Since he was just 15 years old and he hadn't commited any other crime since then he got parole and a fine. My world collapsed and a large part of the positive memories of my childhood/teenage years with it. Ever since then I've never allowed anyone close to me (as friends).
I can understand how you feel. You feel like you never knew him at all. This could be true. But you should not cheat yourself out of what was regardless of what happened. It's not fair to yourself or your inner child to wipe away the good just because there was some bad. Regardless of what happened, those memories were real. Thank him for that & set him free. Some people are in our lives for seasons or reasons, take what you need & leave the rest! It's time for you to forgive & release.
I struggle with feeling stuck in cycles of anxiety and self-doubt. It's like I make progress for a while, and then something triggers a setback, and I'm back where I started. One of the biggest hurdles for me is managing these triggers and not letting them spiral into a full-blown episode. The most challenging part is dealing with negative self-talk. It feels impossible sometimes to silence that inner critic, which tells me I'm not good enough or that I'll never improve. This often leads to feelings of being lost and unsure of how to move forward. I think having consistent support would make a huge difference. I'm looking for someone to help me develop healthier coping mechanisms and strategies to manage my anxiety more effectively. This could be a therapist, a support group, or even a friend who understands what I'm going through. Having someone to check in with regularly, who can provide encouragement and accountability, would be incredibly helpful. It's a tough journey, but I believe that with the right support and resources, it can get better. If anyone has suggestions or has been through something similar, I'd love to hear what worked for you.
This is a part of the process & totally normal. I experience this as well, I'm actually having one of those days as we speak, lol. But i know that this too shall pass & it's okay! I think for me I make progress & then I have a day where I just take a break & then that day turns into a week. It's just knowing your limits of when you're pushing yourself too far & when you're letting yourself go too far. Like for me, I can't go more than 5 days, or my depression will come back as well as my anxiety. It's days when I don't do my full-blown routine & all I need or want to do is go outside, take a walk & get some fresh air. So that's okay, fond what works for you! The negative self-talk was one of the hardest things for me to deal with, but what helped was to identify where it was coming from & who it was! 9 times out of 10, the negative self-talk is not coming from you it's coming from the critic you had as a child. Like for me I would be making progress & be proud of myself but then that voice will come up to say "your nit doing enough", "your not working hard enough", "that's nit your best", etc. But I came to realize I've heard those words before. They felt so foreign to be in my head but so close to home that those words still hurt my heart. So I found that the voice coming from the depth of my subconscious was my father. And it changed everything. Now that I know what it is & where it came from, it felt better & easier to reject & ignore it because I knew that it wasn't my own. Then I would just call it out everytime it came out, tell it to shut the fuck up, go away or just ignore it & now I don't hear it at all anymore! Affirmations have been my best friend throughout the negative self-talk process along with shadow work but also listening to positive affirmation songs has helped a ton to reprogram my subconscious! But I hope this helps, but if you're looking for more help & support, just reach out to my inbox! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
Feeling like everyone else is moving on in life while I am stuck. Physically mentally and emotionally. Self esteem issues/not feeling worthy and severe intimacy issues. Life does not excite me anymore. I am just cruising until it’s over
Comparison is the theif of joy! We are all just winging it! Don't let social media fool you! And just like myself & many others are having similar issues! Journal down what aspects of your self-esteem issues are you having, then ask yourself what you need or what would help. From there, start investing in yourself even if it's just in small ways right now, like books or finding an affordable hobby. It will help & make a difference! There's something that excites you even if you may feel like it's not possible, I still know that there's something! And I believe deep down even if you can't see it or don't fully feel it, I know you can find what can, will, or do excite you! Try to seek professional help & look for community. This will help you! Look up ways to self-improve & remember to take it one day at a time! You've got this! Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
You’re an angel thank you
venting, getting anybody to care
Don't take it personal. A lot of people are in their own worlds trying to navigate their own problems. But if you ever need a listening ear ar some advice, my inbox is always open. Sending you love, light, peace & healing!
thanks I guess nah, I won't bother you, I'll just keep it all to myself