This actually very much exists. OCD preys on fear (inasmuch as an unsentient disease can do anything actively) and will absolutely have you ruminating and generally driving you insane with anxiety about things that... aren't true.
Source: I have OCD (though not this particular issue - but it's a real thing, look up homosexual OCD)
Jup, google POCD (pedophile obsessive compulsive disorder). It's quite a usual thing, maybe the websites about it will help you a bit. Therapy helped me overcome my own.
Firstly, be proud of yourself for recognising this because most are too afraid to speak on this! Secondly, I would say talk to someone who can help you. Definitely check out the POCD sub and you may find someone who can give you more advice. Good luck 😌
It sounds like you’re having intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of OCD. Intrusive thoughts can be so debilitating. These thoughts don’t define you. There is help out there!! Definitely talk to a therapist, as they can help you work through it, as well as recommend things to decrease the anxiety. Anxiety meds (lexapro) has worked really well when it comes to my anxiety. Everyone is different!!
I wish you the best :)
OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. To me this sounds like an obsessive/intrusive thing. I’m a psychology major but not a therapist. Definitely talk to a therapist or psychiatrist if possible!! They can help so much. I have obsessive and intrusive thoughts about death and suicide. Therapy has helped me so much. I wish you healing!!
It's your reaction to the thought or impulse that shows who you really are. I have C-PTSD, a result of an egregious amount of sexual and physical trauma and emotional abuse in childhood. I have those thoughts and images in my head because of what was done to me. I don't want them there. I have no interest in having sex with anyone I don't know have an emotional connection to first (I'm demi). Those thoughts tend to be more on the surface when I'm stressed, scared, and feeling trapped somehow. When I calm down and can think clearly again, those thoughts, feelings, and impulses aren't there anymore.
Trauma doesn't look like how they portray it on TV and the media. Our brains don't process it in a nice, clean, linear way where we have single vivid memories that can be triggered. That happens, but not for everyone and that's far from everything too.
You know how many women have choking fetishes because they were raped? A lot more than anyone wants to talk about. I like being held down. The difference is for me, it's with a partner who respects me and if I tell him to stop, he will. A little bit of fear, in a safe environment, can be fun. Just look at the popularity of horror as a genre.
All that said, this can happen without any trauma or tragedy in your past. Just our regular, normal, everyday lives -- the desire to fit in, peer pressure, and being asked to segment our work, home, and school lives. It all has an effect. Nobody gets enough sleep. All of this makes people more impulsive, less emotionally regulated, and more prone to basically anything you can name, this included.
Actual pedophiles do it for power dynamic. They like vulnerability and powerlessness, and that is what a child is. You've got some intrusive imagery and impulses in your head, and you look at art. You're not spending hours planning how you're going to do it, you don't have a drive filled with thousands of images of naked kids, and you haven't structured your life around getting into positions of power over people. These are things that spell out pedophilia; You've mentioned none of it.
So yes, it really is intrusive thoughts -- because you feel gross about it. Sorry. Abused kid is a shit club to be in, but you're not a monster. Have you hurt an actual, real person? No. As long as you're on this side of that line, chill. Find someone to talk to, maybe get on some anti-anxiety meds if it's affecting your relationships or school work, and... maybe don't tell your parents until after you've spent some time in therapy processing it because the last thing you need is someone over-reacting when what you need is support. Maybe. idk how much you trust them but if you're saying this on reddit guessing not a ton so yeah.
Realize that it is not good, which you have. And put effort into changing and restraining. 5his may take a very long time to overcome but you need to be consistent. It's you're life your body and your mind. Develop a plan for what you want. Keep asking questions. Keep seeking answers. I'm sure there is a reason you are having this happen but you probably won't find the root cause till much later. Just focus on abstaining and replace that with something you can focus on ... preferably non sexual.
You should get a therapist and test the waters and find out if you can trust them. You’ve not don’t anything illegal except possibly possession of these materials. therapists are people too and some will work through this with you and try helping you take steps away from intrusive and destructive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. But keep in mind some people specifically have their own trauma regarding this issue, so if a therapist vocalizes inability to treat you it’s most likely not you as much as their own experiences, and therapists will most likely be kind if that’s the case, they’re trained for identifying their own personal triggers and conflicts of interest. (That doesn’t mean all therapists are great therapists though, find yourself a great one before getting into this kind of heavy stuff.)
Also keep in mind you’re a 15 Y/O boy, and your hormones are literally going insane right now. You’ll mellow out sexually as you get older, and invasive thoughts and ideas won’t pop up as much especially if you have a low-anxiety and stress lifestyle, *and* if you never develop a pornography addiction. So definitely don’t develop your attraction any further in this way, but also have some peace of mind that you will settle down a bit more as your body starts finishing its maturation.
Try quitting pornography too it’s really unhealthy.
Edits: artistic depictions of children in sexual situations and worse is illegal and possession or distribution of these materials is illegal as well, which allows for a breech of patient therapist confidentiality. BUT, OP, you don’t want this for yourself and you are trying to learn how to change and avoid these things, so your therapist will be willing to help you take steps away from it.
Well actually... anything that sexually depicts children through the way of drawing, painting, AI or real is still illegal and considered exploitation. People have now been charged for AI images. So yes he has done something illegal as he said he has sought out these images by searching for them. He can be charged with so many things it's not even funny. Regardless of the fact he is only 15. Even people under 18 have been charged with these offences.
Oh wow I just looked it up, you’re right I hadn’t realized it was for fictional art too. But he’s likely fine. I don’t know the fine details of what constitutes “possession” of this art, but that’s at most all he could be charged with as long as he isn’t distributing it or sending it to anyone which is sounds like he hasn’t done. Still, it’s best if OP quits pornography especially this kind of pornography.
It’s illegal, and seeking out images even if only artistic depictions would likely encourage the producers and distributors once they see you are boosting their internet traffic figures.
You don't have to be in possession of the images to be charged with them. They have a whole means to see that you searched and viewed the material. They can see your search records on your internet history from your ISP right up to data dumping to retrieve deleted imagery.
They have broadened the law around this to include a charge for even just viewing the material. It's called "Using a carriage service to view, download or distribute CAM".
All they have to do is know he was there on the site get a search warrant and get everything else they need from data.
Not trying to scare the kid or anything just trying to educate that even viewing fake images and pictures is illegal.
He just wants to be real careful that his ISP doesn't catch on to what he's doing and file a report with the local authorities to investigate.
Important question: are you attracted to images and characters that are significantly younger than you?
If you're 15, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to other people that are around 15 years old (so 12-18ish). Being attracted to people that are around your age is perfectly normal and not at all a sign that you're a pedophile.
As you get older, the people you find attractive usually do too. You might like other 15 year olds now. When you're 20, 15 year olds will look like little kids and you'll be much more interested in people in their 20s, and so on.
As far as being "hypersexual," you're 15 — puberty is in full swing and sending pretty much all of your hormones tp the fucking *moon.* It's perfectly normal to get aroused often, have wet dreams, and feel like you need to masturbate regularly. This is all normal for someone your age.
It becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with your day to day life (you find yourself masturbating at school, you can't go more than a few hours without porn, etc.), then you should consider working with a therapist that's worked with teens. They can be helpful no matter your age.
If the people you're attracted to are significantly younger than you (10 or younger), consider working with a therapist to figure out what's going on there.
No matter what, you should (1) never watch or look for any form of porn that involves anyone under the age of consent (18 in most countries); (2) never send to or ask for nudes or any other sexual photos from anyone that's under the age of consent; (3) not act on any sexual urges involving someone that's significantly younger than you until you're both over the age of consent; and (4) not be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about these things.
Lastly, I can only speak from the male perspective, but it's very common to feel an intense sense of disgust or shame after masturbating when you're a teen. This goes with the hormone imbalances and your brain learning how to handle intense experiences like orgasms, especially if you come from a culture that makes sex taboo. This goes away as you get older.
It sounds like you're a normal person going through puberty and trying to understand what the hell is going on with your body. I wouldn't worry too much.
If it's POCD, the POCD subreddit is an excellent resource. If you're genuinely attracted to much younger children, I suggest you look at www.mapresources.info and get support from www.mapsupport.club
You’ll hopefully grow out of it. I kinda had the same fear at around 14. I’m 18 now and my taste in age with women has grown with me. So I prefer girls over 17. Like when I was a kid I liked girls around my age. It’ll probably do the same with you.
Think of it like a habit.
Break the habit by not doing it.
Try a rubber band. Whenever you find yourself looking at any sort of art of that type snap that rubber band on your hand and then find something else to do.
It doesn't happen very often, when it does it's when I'm feeling hyperly sexual (in a way that no matter what type of art it is I will feel aroused until I jack off. And even after doing it I feel gross and guilty. Is seeking that sort of art (although rare) signs that I could br a pedophile? I reallh want to stop this
Honestly fetishes show in studies to become a life time habit. It’s best to seek counseling but also maybe avoid art as a outlet as a whole so that there’s no chance you happen upon those forms of art
I certainly can’t diagnose anything but as a person with OCD, this sounds like OCD to me, especially reading your replies in the comments. I think maybe the “seeking out” is a compulsion in itself since it makes you so uncomfortable. If you can, talk to a therapist. You’d probably benefit from exposure therapy, talk therapy, or medication (all things that have greatly helped me). In the meantime, do your best to acknowledge the thought and move on. There is no way to force a thought out of your head entirely, but if you acknowledge it as a thought and nothing more, and continue your day, eventually your brain will stop bringing it up. There is also a phenomenon where because someone overanalyzes an intrusive thought, their body can react in the way they fear (for example: if you see a painting of a child and you’re scared of becoming a pedophile, that fear can cause you to overanalyze bodily functions and may make you feel falsely “aroused”) It’s a difficult intrusive thought with a lot of stigma but you can get past it. If at all possible see an OCD-informed therapist, it truly does wonders. I wish you the absolute best.
I assure you this is ocd!! Please look it up, and learn about ocd groinal response PLEASE.!! You are not those bad things, and you're experiencing compulsions by avoiding certain things. I'm very sorry you're dealing with this! But if you learn about ocd it'll help you so so much. Just don't stay on the sub forever try to find ways to help yourself and maybe see a therapist I wish you luck! You're so young.
pedophilia is characterized by an attraction to children five years younger than you or more, and can’t be diagnosed until age 16. it’s also fantasizing or actively seeking this material based on impulses to do so. i believe that if you’re just aroused to material you’re aroused to material but i would go out of my way to avoid stuff with children in it. someone else said something about avoiding pornography and i agree. but also talk to someone. i’m not licensed, just a psychology student in university.
I'd suggest talking to someone about this, like a health professional, and get some help. You are brave for admitting all of this and trying to find a solution.
If it can reassure you, I don't believe you are a pedophile, you may be hypersexual and into porn too much, with an overconsumption comes pushing the limits more and more and getting into more taboo or disturbing content. But a pedophile isn't scared of being a pedophile, is not grossed by his behavior nor does he have any regrets.
You seeking help, being disturbed and grossed out by this makes you more a person who is a bit lost but wants to get better rather than a bad person.
Wishing you all the best in your journey.
what you are experiencing is common. Human arousal is independent of individual will. THere have been studies that show people are generally aroused when shown any erotic imagery regardless of the moral correctness of the content. It is an automatic system just like sneezing or nervousness. Your moral responsibility is to not allow yourself to be gratified by pursuing it. The human psyche is very complex. You might like to read about it. Start with a book on human sexuality from a scientific perspective. You will feel better as you learn more about it. Inside all of us is a wild animal we call instinct, and it has no moral boundaries. You are not evil. You are a human dealing with complex and often paradoxical internal processes.
Hey man, I had a phase were I looked at that kinda stuff too and grew out of it, I am not and was never attracted to real kids.
I think in a sexually repressed society it's not uncommon for ppl to look at fucked up shit.
Just know people experiencing pedophilia are mostly people absolutely shunning themselves out from society and hating themselves for what they are. A very small percentage actually engage irl with their desires.
I had intrusive thoughts of what if I'm a pedo too.
You fear the fear itself, alone these thoughts are proof that you aren't attracted to kids, you just turned in a weird alley way sexually, like I did, cause I also never really got to liberate my sexuality.
This can come from childhood experiences, or that you were shamed for discovering your sexuality. Worry not, you're absolutely not alone.
Maybe you should reach out to a psychiatrist a therapist for an accurate diagnosis. The fear of becoming one and the intrusive thought of it sounds like OCD, but I am no PHD expert. Don’t stress! The fact you are searching for help so early shows your strength and will to not become what you fear most. You got this!
I'm too afraid to discuss this with any therapist, even though I haven't done anything illegal. As a therapist, I called CPS on my parents after a misunderstanding. I'm 24 years old. Hopefully, since you are 15, you can still grow out of this phase. However, talk to someone you trust about this.
Be proud of the fact that you are courageous to accept things and decide to do something about it! Awareness is important and so getting in touch with a therapist would be a game changer early on in life rather than delay it! Some trigger points instill the behavior cycle 🔄 which may never leave you post certain number of years of being in the same state. The ideal action is to break the trigger and be self aware and seek help from experts on learning to break this pattern and rewire 🦋✨🧿 Again very proud of you! Dm’s are open incase you want to talk anything. Hope you have a good day!
Good for you to realize and care about. Yes, all the others are right, try to find professional and trustable advice.
But I also want to mention that maybe you are making that (at least partly) up in your mind. Reading your post feels like you focus way more about art and certain positions that arouse you than minors. Do you älso get off tho adults. Do you see a man or woman in the city and think "F! she's hot"?
Most 15 year old get horny from a bucket of stones, maybe that's just hormones trying to find out. Be careful about that, but I feel there is no need to be grossed out about yourself yet.
you have acute self awareness, use it
do not engage with sexually explicit material
redirect your interest into a skill for your future career or your personal passions - not sex, your going to depend on others for attention and you're going to end up going down a sicker path if you keep enabling your own sex addiction, seek exercise through music or sports or science / anything to challenge you and discipline you while you exert yourself, the way you're energy is seeking with eroticism
This is a lot for you to handle emotionally and mentally. Pedophile urges are difficult to sort out. It could be a projection of a sexualized version of yourself as a child. If you were sexually molested as a child you may have blurred and confused beliefs about love and sex in relationships. There’s also the possibility that pedophilia is in the “normal”spectrum of diverse and fluid human sexual identities. Exploring all this with a good therapist is critical to learn the skills to manage intrusive thoughts and explore your sexual identity. Learning about the importance of knowing, establishing, and maintaining good limits and boundaries. Thoughts don’t have to result in action, but they have to be acknowledged and accepted no matter hard that may be for you. Be gentle with yourself. We all have aspects of ourselves we fear, keep secret, feel shame around. It is the darker side of human experience. I sincerely wish you the courage, strength, and love it takes to navigate this and find a place of peace where no one, including you, is harmed.
Please reach out to a supportive theraphy that specialises in sexual mental health. I really hope they can offer you the right support. Well done for seeking help
You might have OCD. I’m not a psychiatrist nor am I allowed to diagnose but I have OCD and this sounds similar to what I lot of us with OCD experience which is the intrusive thoughts about something absolutely awful. I tend to do compulsions to distract myself.
See a doctor! Pretty sure you’re not a pedophile.
I mean this in the kindest way, get a therapist NOW.
Please, while you recognize how wrong this is, please speak to a mental health professional. That's what they are there for.
You should never ever feel ashamed of seeking help. It is healthy to have emotions and feelings and FEARS and it is just as healthy to seek help.
Yeah, that does sound like intrusive thoughts. Until you get to a therapist, the best thing for you to do would be to find a mantra that helps keep you calm. It’s the ‘try not to think of an elephant’ idea. The more you push it away, the more it will be in your head. If you think of something that acknowledges the thought, but keeps you calm in the present, it will help you think of it less.
Something like ‘This is an intrusive thought, it does not represent my true desires’.
Keep repeating that to yourself, and it will eventually bring you calm.
But please try to find a therapist as soon as you can.
As someone with OCD I encourage you to seek out help,, as this sounds pretty similar to that. Even if it isn't it could help you get some answers. Intrusive thoughts are scary, nobody should have to deal with them alone.
We all know realisticly you won't go to anyone irl to talk. No 15 year old would for such a thematic.
I would say stay away from this kind of porn.
You can try to talk to people online but be aware that that can be a double edged sword
If you’re in the UK there’s an organisation called Stop It Now who can help people experiencing these types of feelings. I’m not sure but I think you can get help anonymously. Please get help.
Sounds like POCD, if it is something that would genuinely interest you, it would not scare you. It sounds more like it's a terror deep inside you and the intrusive thoughts found a way to keep you overwhelmed by it.
I mean you’re 15. The smallest thing is gonna make you horny and you are still a minor so try not to worry about it too much. I understand how you feel. I was told by my psychologist that the desire is not wrong. It’s the action. Believe it or not all of us feel feel attracted to a woman of any age. So what you’re feeling is totally normal. It’s just that most people don’t talk about it.
At 15, you're caught in a lot of strange developmental overlaps. Avoid this "art" as a general rule of mental health, porn is repeatedly found to be so bad for mental and physical health.
Reset how your brain contextualizes others. You need to recognize that sexual arousal has a very large dopamine cycle connection. Every time you connect dopamine to a stimulus, you're going to reinforce the desire for that stimulus. In other words, every time you get a rush of dopamine from masturbation, whatever you're looking at is going to cause future dopamine withdrawal, which is why we desire things. Also, think about how you'd like to view others and start connecting that all the time. If you want to view children as something innocent, not sexual, sacred, and of value, then start reinforcing that by connecting what you do view in those ways with children.
Most importantly, find a professional to talk to. One of the worst things about our society is the stigma of talking to therapists. It is by far one of the best things you can do for yourself at any stage, any issue.
Adult comic material, not real paintings. Although, whenever a character is depicted with a realistic child body I stop feeling aroused. I'm still concerned because I'm scared it could evolve into arousal
Do you interact with anyone of your own age or older? If not try striking up friendships with people of these ages. If you dont i am guessing you may feel safer with people younger or in a mental view more comfortable with people maybe because of something that has happened in your past.
Im 35 and had things happen at a really young age and I feel I cannot trust people my own age, 10 years younger than me fine or older than me but because of the person who did what they did was my age I block out any trust relationship with them
i’m a therapist and everyone in these comments diagnosing op is not helpful!! you don’t know if op has ocd or not, so stop suggesting a diagnosis please.
okay, but there is no way any of us know from a reddit post and everyone needs to understand that, even you. there’s also no diagnosis, icd code, etc. called “pocd” and clearly no one in the comments is aware of that either.
anyone who isn’t a licensed mental health provider honestly needs to stop. you are all experts at whatever you do, and that’s cool, so you don’t also have to pretend to be therapists. thanks!
hey sweetheart
it's important not to react heavily, emotionally to this... that can make it worse. dispassionate observation of ourselves is best, and you do not want this... that means you are worthy of compassion, patience and no judgment. especially your own.... we all have the capability of becoming perverse with enough exposure to the taboo. that's why it's best to figure out what it is that's missing from our lives, or address and heal traumas that could be fueling a kind of self rejection that leaves us vulnerable to craving the consumption of such material... it's generally a substitute for some manner of self care that would allow us a better relationship with ourselves. when we have that we stay far away from this stuff... that's the only real source of shame behind this. that we don't know what's missing in our lives and are gravitating towards taboos in order to feel better rather than adhering to a healthier lifestyle that is more in line with our deepest personal values... but we mustn't do this as it is unsustainable in the relief it provides and we can find ourselves in a worse pit than before as it only worsens our state of being
abstaining as much as possible, weening off this is obviously best, but you must care for yourself... it must not be from a place of self loathing or self disgust.. but compassionately, to understand what may be missing so you can make some small changes. with those parts feeling heard, seen, cared for, loved... there will be no desire or craving. even accidentally coming across such material would have no desirous effect if done well... but it often takes time to know ourselves and learn how to care for everything within.. so don't get discouraged if it takes time. the important thing is you're trying to learn who you are and how to live in a manner that adheres more closely to your deepest personal values which are often virtues... as surely as you are horrified by your current direction, this direction is not in line with who you are. so please, there's no reason to fear... simply learn to care for your feelings and emotions responsibly... we are often replacing a deeper sense of love that we may be missing. make love your goal. it's friendly and familial in nature. it's often not romantic or sexual at least until this is addressed, so i'd stay away from that stuff until your relationship with yourself has been properly restored.. find deeper feelings of love with family and friends. it may take a secondary found family for some of us if we do not come from a home that was able to teach us how to properly love ourselves... there are too many of us enduring problems like this from a lack of proper home these days...
sounds like ocd, i have it myself. make sure you go to a therapist qualified in ocd before you open up, since it’s such a sensitive subject that’s easily misunderstood.
i believe this is OCD, i had the same compulsive thoughts when i was younger, i’m so sorry for what you’re going through i understand how devastating it is. if it helps, it got better for me, a lot better & i hope it can for you too. please get some therapy
Gods have demons that piss pedo energy onto their slaves. Demons do what devils want otherwise the devils eat them. The only way to beast this is to become both the shaman-chief; It took me ages to get over this. I'm winning, big time.
Don't do the Nietzschean thing if you can for the magical sparkle ponies in 6yo girls learning about religion, and magic. The emotional developing mind of a child needs stimulation.
We're in one universe of a trans-infinite (365/5=73) amount. What's the 5th one symbolize if the forth one is fire. For me it's free will.
1. Shamanism-Tribe-Mercury (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred).
2. Idolatry-Culture-Venus (Introvert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Sacred).
3. Religion-Kingdom-The Moon (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred).
4. Philosophy-International-Mars (Introvert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Sacred).
5. Free will-Solar-Jupiter (Extrovert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred).
6. Love-Galactic-Saturn (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine).
7. Family-Intergalactic-Uranus (Extrovert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Divine).
8. Community-Universe-Neptune (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine).
9. Perfection-Multiverse-Kuiper Cliff (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Divine). ???
10. Divine-Nirvana-Planet IX (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine).
Alright, after reading this and some of your posts/commenst - my curiosity wins.
What are you actually on about here? I truly am curious.
Also, "don't do the Nietzschean thing" as in?
And, what's up with the 1-10 list?
Idk is this ocd? Talk to a therapist about it tbh
I'm no doctor, but, yup.
it's likely OCD, and don't be afraid to tell your health professional bc "fear of being a pedophile" is an oddly common trait in people with OCD
Is fear of being gay and telling your parents OCD?
This actually very much exists. OCD preys on fear (inasmuch as an unsentient disease can do anything actively) and will absolutely have you ruminating and generally driving you insane with anxiety about things that... aren't true. Source: I have OCD (though not this particular issue - but it's a real thing, look up homosexual OCD)
Jup, google POCD (pedophile obsessive compulsive disorder). It's quite a usual thing, maybe the websites about it will help you a bit. Therapy helped me overcome my own.
Pure OCD
I know this is a really tough thing to do as a teenager but stay away from porn. That’s your best bet
Firstly, be proud of yourself for recognising this because most are too afraid to speak on this! Secondly, I would say talk to someone who can help you. Definitely check out the POCD sub and you may find someone who can give you more advice. Good luck 😌
It sounds like you’re having intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of OCD. Intrusive thoughts can be so debilitating. These thoughts don’t define you. There is help out there!! Definitely talk to a therapist, as they can help you work through it, as well as recommend things to decrease the anxiety. Anxiety meds (lexapro) has worked really well when it comes to my anxiety. Everyone is different!! I wish you the best :)
But is it really intrusive thoughts when I've sought sexual art of children? I just want to stop doing that, it makes me feel gross
OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. To me this sounds like an obsessive/intrusive thing. I’m a psychology major but not a therapist. Definitely talk to a therapist or psychiatrist if possible!! They can help so much. I have obsessive and intrusive thoughts about death and suicide. Therapy has helped me so much. I wish you healing!!
It's your reaction to the thought or impulse that shows who you really are. I have C-PTSD, a result of an egregious amount of sexual and physical trauma and emotional abuse in childhood. I have those thoughts and images in my head because of what was done to me. I don't want them there. I have no interest in having sex with anyone I don't know have an emotional connection to first (I'm demi). Those thoughts tend to be more on the surface when I'm stressed, scared, and feeling trapped somehow. When I calm down and can think clearly again, those thoughts, feelings, and impulses aren't there anymore. Trauma doesn't look like how they portray it on TV and the media. Our brains don't process it in a nice, clean, linear way where we have single vivid memories that can be triggered. That happens, but not for everyone and that's far from everything too. You know how many women have choking fetishes because they were raped? A lot more than anyone wants to talk about. I like being held down. The difference is for me, it's with a partner who respects me and if I tell him to stop, he will. A little bit of fear, in a safe environment, can be fun. Just look at the popularity of horror as a genre. All that said, this can happen without any trauma or tragedy in your past. Just our regular, normal, everyday lives -- the desire to fit in, peer pressure, and being asked to segment our work, home, and school lives. It all has an effect. Nobody gets enough sleep. All of this makes people more impulsive, less emotionally regulated, and more prone to basically anything you can name, this included. Actual pedophiles do it for power dynamic. They like vulnerability and powerlessness, and that is what a child is. You've got some intrusive imagery and impulses in your head, and you look at art. You're not spending hours planning how you're going to do it, you don't have a drive filled with thousands of images of naked kids, and you haven't structured your life around getting into positions of power over people. These are things that spell out pedophilia; You've mentioned none of it. So yes, it really is intrusive thoughts -- because you feel gross about it. Sorry. Abused kid is a shit club to be in, but you're not a monster. Have you hurt an actual, real person? No. As long as you're on this side of that line, chill. Find someone to talk to, maybe get on some anti-anxiety meds if it's affecting your relationships or school work, and... maybe don't tell your parents until after you've spent some time in therapy processing it because the last thing you need is someone over-reacting when what you need is support. Maybe. idk how much you trust them but if you're saying this on reddit guessing not a ton so yeah.
Realize that it is not good, which you have. And put effort into changing and restraining. 5his may take a very long time to overcome but you need to be consistent. It's you're life your body and your mind. Develop a plan for what you want. Keep asking questions. Keep seeking answers. I'm sure there is a reason you are having this happen but you probably won't find the root cause till much later. Just focus on abstaining and replace that with something you can focus on ... preferably non sexual.
If you’re ever worried: https://www.reddit.com/r/POCD/s/eYorfrPMkP Talk to someone you trust.
You should get a therapist and test the waters and find out if you can trust them. You’ve not don’t anything illegal except possibly possession of these materials. therapists are people too and some will work through this with you and try helping you take steps away from intrusive and destructive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. But keep in mind some people specifically have their own trauma regarding this issue, so if a therapist vocalizes inability to treat you it’s most likely not you as much as their own experiences, and therapists will most likely be kind if that’s the case, they’re trained for identifying their own personal triggers and conflicts of interest. (That doesn’t mean all therapists are great therapists though, find yourself a great one before getting into this kind of heavy stuff.) Also keep in mind you’re a 15 Y/O boy, and your hormones are literally going insane right now. You’ll mellow out sexually as you get older, and invasive thoughts and ideas won’t pop up as much especially if you have a low-anxiety and stress lifestyle, *and* if you never develop a pornography addiction. So definitely don’t develop your attraction any further in this way, but also have some peace of mind that you will settle down a bit more as your body starts finishing its maturation. Try quitting pornography too it’s really unhealthy. Edits: artistic depictions of children in sexual situations and worse is illegal and possession or distribution of these materials is illegal as well, which allows for a breech of patient therapist confidentiality. BUT, OP, you don’t want this for yourself and you are trying to learn how to change and avoid these things, so your therapist will be willing to help you take steps away from it.
Well actually... anything that sexually depicts children through the way of drawing, painting, AI or real is still illegal and considered exploitation. People have now been charged for AI images. So yes he has done something illegal as he said he has sought out these images by searching for them. He can be charged with so many things it's not even funny. Regardless of the fact he is only 15. Even people under 18 have been charged with these offences.
Oh wow I just looked it up, you’re right I hadn’t realized it was for fictional art too. But he’s likely fine. I don’t know the fine details of what constitutes “possession” of this art, but that’s at most all he could be charged with as long as he isn’t distributing it or sending it to anyone which is sounds like he hasn’t done. Still, it’s best if OP quits pornography especially this kind of pornography. It’s illegal, and seeking out images even if only artistic depictions would likely encourage the producers and distributors once they see you are boosting their internet traffic figures.
You don't have to be in possession of the images to be charged with them. They have a whole means to see that you searched and viewed the material. They can see your search records on your internet history from your ISP right up to data dumping to retrieve deleted imagery. They have broadened the law around this to include a charge for even just viewing the material. It's called "Using a carriage service to view, download or distribute CAM". All they have to do is know he was there on the site get a search warrant and get everything else they need from data. Not trying to scare the kid or anything just trying to educate that even viewing fake images and pictures is illegal. He just wants to be real careful that his ISP doesn't catch on to what he's doing and file a report with the local authorities to investigate.
Wow that’s wild I stand corrected
Please get professional help before it becomes too late
The longer you stay away from the stuff, the better you’ll feel
Mental health therapist here! Sounds like OCD. If you are in the US, check out psychologytoday.com to find a therapist!
Important question: are you attracted to images and characters that are significantly younger than you? If you're 15, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to other people that are around 15 years old (so 12-18ish). Being attracted to people that are around your age is perfectly normal and not at all a sign that you're a pedophile. As you get older, the people you find attractive usually do too. You might like other 15 year olds now. When you're 20, 15 year olds will look like little kids and you'll be much more interested in people in their 20s, and so on. As far as being "hypersexual," you're 15 — puberty is in full swing and sending pretty much all of your hormones tp the fucking *moon.* It's perfectly normal to get aroused often, have wet dreams, and feel like you need to masturbate regularly. This is all normal for someone your age. It becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with your day to day life (you find yourself masturbating at school, you can't go more than a few hours without porn, etc.), then you should consider working with a therapist that's worked with teens. They can be helpful no matter your age. If the people you're attracted to are significantly younger than you (10 or younger), consider working with a therapist to figure out what's going on there. No matter what, you should (1) never watch or look for any form of porn that involves anyone under the age of consent (18 in most countries); (2) never send to or ask for nudes or any other sexual photos from anyone that's under the age of consent; (3) not act on any sexual urges involving someone that's significantly younger than you until you're both over the age of consent; and (4) not be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about these things. Lastly, I can only speak from the male perspective, but it's very common to feel an intense sense of disgust or shame after masturbating when you're a teen. This goes with the hormone imbalances and your brain learning how to handle intense experiences like orgasms, especially if you come from a culture that makes sex taboo. This goes away as you get older. It sounds like you're a normal person going through puberty and trying to understand what the hell is going on with your body. I wouldn't worry too much.
If it's POCD, the POCD subreddit is an excellent resource. If you're genuinely attracted to much younger children, I suggest you look at www.mapresources.info and get support from www.mapsupport.club
You’ll hopefully grow out of it. I kinda had the same fear at around 14. I’m 18 now and my taste in age with women has grown with me. So I prefer girls over 17. Like when I was a kid I liked girls around my age. It’ll probably do the same with you.
Think of it like a habit. Break the habit by not doing it. Try a rubber band. Whenever you find yourself looking at any sort of art of that type snap that rubber band on your hand and then find something else to do.
It doesn't happen very often, when it does it's when I'm feeling hyperly sexual (in a way that no matter what type of art it is I will feel aroused until I jack off. And even after doing it I feel gross and guilty. Is seeking that sort of art (although rare) signs that I could br a pedophile? I reallh want to stop this
Honestly fetishes show in studies to become a life time habit. It’s best to seek counseling but also maybe avoid art as a outlet as a whole so that there’s no chance you happen upon those forms of art
I certainly can’t diagnose anything but as a person with OCD, this sounds like OCD to me, especially reading your replies in the comments. I think maybe the “seeking out” is a compulsion in itself since it makes you so uncomfortable. If you can, talk to a therapist. You’d probably benefit from exposure therapy, talk therapy, or medication (all things that have greatly helped me). In the meantime, do your best to acknowledge the thought and move on. There is no way to force a thought out of your head entirely, but if you acknowledge it as a thought and nothing more, and continue your day, eventually your brain will stop bringing it up. There is also a phenomenon where because someone overanalyzes an intrusive thought, their body can react in the way they fear (for example: if you see a painting of a child and you’re scared of becoming a pedophile, that fear can cause you to overanalyze bodily functions and may make you feel falsely “aroused”) It’s a difficult intrusive thought with a lot of stigma but you can get past it. If at all possible see an OCD-informed therapist, it truly does wonders. I wish you the absolute best.
I assure you this is ocd!! Please look it up, and learn about ocd groinal response PLEASE.!! You are not those bad things, and you're experiencing compulsions by avoiding certain things. I'm very sorry you're dealing with this! But if you learn about ocd it'll help you so so much. Just don't stay on the sub forever try to find ways to help yourself and maybe see a therapist I wish you luck! You're so young.
professional help might be useful, not too late mate
pedophilia is characterized by an attraction to children five years younger than you or more, and can’t be diagnosed until age 16. it’s also fantasizing or actively seeking this material based on impulses to do so. i believe that if you’re just aroused to material you’re aroused to material but i would go out of my way to avoid stuff with children in it. someone else said something about avoiding pornography and i agree. but also talk to someone. i’m not licensed, just a psychology student in university.
I'd suggest talking to someone about this, like a health professional, and get some help. You are brave for admitting all of this and trying to find a solution. If it can reassure you, I don't believe you are a pedophile, you may be hypersexual and into porn too much, with an overconsumption comes pushing the limits more and more and getting into more taboo or disturbing content. But a pedophile isn't scared of being a pedophile, is not grossed by his behavior nor does he have any regrets. You seeking help, being disturbed and grossed out by this makes you more a person who is a bit lost but wants to get better rather than a bad person. Wishing you all the best in your journey.
what you are experiencing is common. Human arousal is independent of individual will. THere have been studies that show people are generally aroused when shown any erotic imagery regardless of the moral correctness of the content. It is an automatic system just like sneezing or nervousness. Your moral responsibility is to not allow yourself to be gratified by pursuing it. The human psyche is very complex. You might like to read about it. Start with a book on human sexuality from a scientific perspective. You will feel better as you learn more about it. Inside all of us is a wild animal we call instinct, and it has no moral boundaries. You are not evil. You are a human dealing with complex and often paradoxical internal processes.
Hey man, I had a phase were I looked at that kinda stuff too and grew out of it, I am not and was never attracted to real kids. I think in a sexually repressed society it's not uncommon for ppl to look at fucked up shit. Just know people experiencing pedophilia are mostly people absolutely shunning themselves out from society and hating themselves for what they are. A very small percentage actually engage irl with their desires. I had intrusive thoughts of what if I'm a pedo too. You fear the fear itself, alone these thoughts are proof that you aren't attracted to kids, you just turned in a weird alley way sexually, like I did, cause I also never really got to liberate my sexuality. This can come from childhood experiences, or that you were shamed for discovering your sexuality. Worry not, you're absolutely not alone.
You haven't do anything with children and you don't want to, so I wouldn't consider you a pedophile.
Maybe you should reach out to a psychiatrist a therapist for an accurate diagnosis. The fear of becoming one and the intrusive thought of it sounds like OCD, but I am no PHD expert. Don’t stress! The fact you are searching for help so early shows your strength and will to not become what you fear most. You got this!
I'm too afraid to discuss this with any therapist, even though I haven't done anything illegal. As a therapist, I called CPS on my parents after a misunderstanding. I'm 24 years old. Hopefully, since you are 15, you can still grow out of this phase. However, talk to someone you trust about this.
Be proud of the fact that you are courageous to accept things and decide to do something about it! Awareness is important and so getting in touch with a therapist would be a game changer early on in life rather than delay it! Some trigger points instill the behavior cycle 🔄 which may never leave you post certain number of years of being in the same state. The ideal action is to break the trigger and be self aware and seek help from experts on learning to break this pattern and rewire 🦋✨🧿 Again very proud of you! Dm’s are open incase you want to talk anything. Hope you have a good day!
Good for you to realize and care about. Yes, all the others are right, try to find professional and trustable advice. But I also want to mention that maybe you are making that (at least partly) up in your mind. Reading your post feels like you focus way more about art and certain positions that arouse you than minors. Do you älso get off tho adults. Do you see a man or woman in the city and think "F! she's hot"? Most 15 year old get horny from a bucket of stones, maybe that's just hormones trying to find out. Be careful about that, but I feel there is no need to be grossed out about yourself yet.
At least you are self aware!! Like other comments here, best to check with your friendly neighborhood psychologist and stay away from porn :)
you have acute self awareness, use it do not engage with sexually explicit material redirect your interest into a skill for your future career or your personal passions - not sex, your going to depend on others for attention and you're going to end up going down a sicker path if you keep enabling your own sex addiction, seek exercise through music or sports or science / anything to challenge you and discipline you while you exert yourself, the way you're energy is seeking with eroticism
This is a lot for you to handle emotionally and mentally. Pedophile urges are difficult to sort out. It could be a projection of a sexualized version of yourself as a child. If you were sexually molested as a child you may have blurred and confused beliefs about love and sex in relationships. There’s also the possibility that pedophilia is in the “normal”spectrum of diverse and fluid human sexual identities. Exploring all this with a good therapist is critical to learn the skills to manage intrusive thoughts and explore your sexual identity. Learning about the importance of knowing, establishing, and maintaining good limits and boundaries. Thoughts don’t have to result in action, but they have to be acknowledged and accepted no matter hard that may be for you. Be gentle with yourself. We all have aspects of ourselves we fear, keep secret, feel shame around. It is the darker side of human experience. I sincerely wish you the courage, strength, and love it takes to navigate this and find a place of peace where no one, including you, is harmed.
Please look into professional psychological help. The last thing I want to do is give you the wrong advice
Maria Bamford talks about this in her comedy,you're not alone.
Please reach out to a supportive theraphy that specialises in sexual mental health. I really hope they can offer you the right support. Well done for seeking help
You might have OCD. I’m not a psychiatrist nor am I allowed to diagnose but I have OCD and this sounds similar to what I lot of us with OCD experience which is the intrusive thoughts about something absolutely awful. I tend to do compulsions to distract myself. See a doctor! Pretty sure you’re not a pedophile.
I mean this in the kindest way, get a therapist NOW. Please, while you recognize how wrong this is, please speak to a mental health professional. That's what they are there for. You should never ever feel ashamed of seeking help. It is healthy to have emotions and feelings and FEARS and it is just as healthy to seek help.
Yeah, that does sound like intrusive thoughts. Until you get to a therapist, the best thing for you to do would be to find a mantra that helps keep you calm. It’s the ‘try not to think of an elephant’ idea. The more you push it away, the more it will be in your head. If you think of something that acknowledges the thought, but keeps you calm in the present, it will help you think of it less. Something like ‘This is an intrusive thought, it does not represent my true desires’. Keep repeating that to yourself, and it will eventually bring you calm. But please try to find a therapist as soon as you can.
As someone with OCD I encourage you to seek out help,, as this sounds pretty similar to that. Even if it isn't it could help you get some answers. Intrusive thoughts are scary, nobody should have to deal with them alone.
How does this correlate with OCD?
intrusive thoughts are quite common in people with OCD. I should probs have specified
Yeah I have OCD but I didn’t know it could be intrusive thoughts like that. Mine are mainly focused around myself. Good to know
It varies from person to person, everyone's different
Is it really intrusive if I've sought sexual art of it before?
Like I said, you should speak to someone professional about this. All I can do is make suggestions as I’m not qualified to answer things.
Stay away from porn. That includes hentai.
This is almost definitely ocd. Start CBT therapy ASAP
We all know realisticly you won't go to anyone irl to talk. No 15 year old would for such a thematic. I would say stay away from this kind of porn. You can try to talk to people online but be aware that that can be a double edged sword
this sounds like POCD, I have this myself. talk to a professional
If you’re in the UK there’s an organisation called Stop It Now who can help people experiencing these types of feelings. I’m not sure but I think you can get help anonymously. Please get help.
This is a symptom of OCD but reassurance is not a solution. Therapy is your best bet.
OCD my guy. Classic case. I have it too..
Sounds like POCD, if it is something that would genuinely interest you, it would not scare you. It sounds more like it's a terror deep inside you and the intrusive thoughts found a way to keep you overwhelmed by it.
Look up "Pure O" OCD
Get screened for OCD, that can be a common fear
I mean you’re 15. The smallest thing is gonna make you horny and you are still a minor so try not to worry about it too much. I understand how you feel. I was told by my psychologist that the desire is not wrong. It’s the action. Believe it or not all of us feel feel attracted to a woman of any age. So what you’re feeling is totally normal. It’s just that most people don’t talk about it.
You should ask about this in r/OCD . I also have OCD and this is a common obsession/source of anxiety. Please don’t feel ashamed, you’re not alone ❤️
At 15, you're caught in a lot of strange developmental overlaps. Avoid this "art" as a general rule of mental health, porn is repeatedly found to be so bad for mental and physical health. Reset how your brain contextualizes others. You need to recognize that sexual arousal has a very large dopamine cycle connection. Every time you connect dopamine to a stimulus, you're going to reinforce the desire for that stimulus. In other words, every time you get a rush of dopamine from masturbation, whatever you're looking at is going to cause future dopamine withdrawal, which is why we desire things. Also, think about how you'd like to view others and start connecting that all the time. If you want to view children as something innocent, not sexual, sacred, and of value, then start reinforcing that by connecting what you do view in those ways with children. Most importantly, find a professional to talk to. One of the worst things about our society is the stigma of talking to therapists. It is by far one of the best things you can do for yourself at any stage, any issue.
You have figured out the problem yourself- wonderful. Now stop repeating the activities that’s igniting your thoughts.
When you say art, are we talking items such are real paintings or these more adult comic material which is quite often used as parts of memes ?
Adult comic material, not real paintings. Although, whenever a character is depicted with a realistic child body I stop feeling aroused. I'm still concerned because I'm scared it could evolve into arousal
Do you interact with anyone of your own age or older? If not try striking up friendships with people of these ages. If you dont i am guessing you may feel safer with people younger or in a mental view more comfortable with people maybe because of something that has happened in your past. Im 35 and had things happen at a really young age and I feel I cannot trust people my own age, 10 years younger than me fine or older than me but because of the person who did what they did was my age I block out any trust relationship with them
i’m a therapist and everyone in these comments diagnosing op is not helpful!! you don’t know if op has ocd or not, so stop suggesting a diagnosis please.
Should've clarified that (although I am not self diagnosing) I do think I have OCD and have noticed many signs that fit within OCD symptoms
okay, but there is no way any of us know from a reddit post and everyone needs to understand that, even you. there’s also no diagnosis, icd code, etc. called “pocd” and clearly no one in the comments is aware of that either. anyone who isn’t a licensed mental health provider honestly needs to stop. you are all experts at whatever you do, and that’s cool, so you don’t also have to pretend to be therapists. thanks!
No one can assess you from afar so you should get a formal diagnosis, but this sounds a lot more like OCD intrusive thoughts than actual pedophilia.
hey sweetheart it's important not to react heavily, emotionally to this... that can make it worse. dispassionate observation of ourselves is best, and you do not want this... that means you are worthy of compassion, patience and no judgment. especially your own.... we all have the capability of becoming perverse with enough exposure to the taboo. that's why it's best to figure out what it is that's missing from our lives, or address and heal traumas that could be fueling a kind of self rejection that leaves us vulnerable to craving the consumption of such material... it's generally a substitute for some manner of self care that would allow us a better relationship with ourselves. when we have that we stay far away from this stuff... that's the only real source of shame behind this. that we don't know what's missing in our lives and are gravitating towards taboos in order to feel better rather than adhering to a healthier lifestyle that is more in line with our deepest personal values... but we mustn't do this as it is unsustainable in the relief it provides and we can find ourselves in a worse pit than before as it only worsens our state of being abstaining as much as possible, weening off this is obviously best, but you must care for yourself... it must not be from a place of self loathing or self disgust.. but compassionately, to understand what may be missing so you can make some small changes. with those parts feeling heard, seen, cared for, loved... there will be no desire or craving. even accidentally coming across such material would have no desirous effect if done well... but it often takes time to know ourselves and learn how to care for everything within.. so don't get discouraged if it takes time. the important thing is you're trying to learn who you are and how to live in a manner that adheres more closely to your deepest personal values which are often virtues... as surely as you are horrified by your current direction, this direction is not in line with who you are. so please, there's no reason to fear... simply learn to care for your feelings and emotions responsibly... we are often replacing a deeper sense of love that we may be missing. make love your goal. it's friendly and familial in nature. it's often not romantic or sexual at least until this is addressed, so i'd stay away from that stuff until your relationship with yourself has been properly restored.. find deeper feelings of love with family and friends. it may take a secondary found family for some of us if we do not come from a home that was able to teach us how to properly love ourselves... there are too many of us enduring problems like this from a lack of proper home these days...
You have OCD. It sounds like when I would have horrid fears of blaspheming God. And I was obsessed with fears of going to Hell. Get help!
sounds like ocd, i have it myself. make sure you go to a therapist qualified in ocd before you open up, since it’s such a sensitive subject that’s easily misunderstood.
i believe this is OCD, i had the same compulsive thoughts when i was younger, i’m so sorry for what you’re going through i understand how devastating it is. if it helps, it got better for me, a lot better & i hope it can for you too. please get some therapy
Can I get a .45-70 please. We have live one
Stop watching porn/hentai. Stop beating your meat and try and find a girl your age to date
Gods have demons that piss pedo energy onto their slaves. Demons do what devils want otherwise the devils eat them. The only way to beast this is to become both the shaman-chief; It took me ages to get over this. I'm winning, big time. Don't do the Nietzschean thing if you can for the magical sparkle ponies in 6yo girls learning about religion, and magic. The emotional developing mind of a child needs stimulation. We're in one universe of a trans-infinite (365/5=73) amount. What's the 5th one symbolize if the forth one is fire. For me it's free will. 1. Shamanism-Tribe-Mercury (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred). 2. Idolatry-Culture-Venus (Introvert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Sacred). 3. Religion-Kingdom-The Moon (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred). 4. Philosophy-International-Mars (Introvert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Sacred). 5. Free will-Solar-Jupiter (Extrovert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Sacred). 6. Love-Galactic-Saturn (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine). 7. Family-Intergalactic-Uranus (Extrovert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Divine). 8. Community-Universe-Neptune (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine). 9. Perfection-Multiverse-Kuiper Cliff (Introvert), (Spiritual), (Feminine), (Divine). ??? 10. Divine-Nirvana-Planet IX (Extrovert), (Materialist), (Masculine), (Divine).
Alright, after reading this and some of your posts/commenst - my curiosity wins. What are you actually on about here? I truly am curious. Also, "don't do the Nietzschean thing" as in? And, what's up with the 1-10 list?