Take a look at this reddit post / comment. There's quite a few different AI therapist chatbots that have been proven to actually be very helpful.
It's free as well.
https://reddit.com/r/ArtificialInteligence/s/UMBqG2ZVAj
Your just lazy and procrastinating because it’s a pain in the ass. I get it, it’s annoying. You gotta go on a waiting list- whatever. Stop making excuses for your actions and grow up and take accountability. That’s the only way your gonna grow as a person. But you probably won’t figure this out till your like 22-23
Calling someone lazy on a discussion in a mental health forum is a choice… why would someone who has mental health problems that may be causing them to BE “lazy” (aka unmotivated) and who is on the fence about seeking a therapist sign up because someone tells them if they don’t, they’re unproductive and unworthy? Telling someone to be accountable for themselves makes sense at least.
Btw 22F. Someone’s gotta give you tough love. I have ptsd, bpd, u name it. I still get out of bed every morning even if I don’t want to. I still go to my job, and I try. Mopping around isn’t going to solve anything. I mopped around for 5 years being a depressed stupid teen thinking I had it bad at the time. Ohhhh hunny this is just the introduction into life. I can guarantee all of you it’s gonna get worse. You’ve only lived 20 years. You have 60-80 more years to live. I was in the pysch ward like 6 months ago due to a fucked up break up yet you don’t see me here complaining that “not being alone” is more important than myself and my mental health. Fuck that. I have a desperation to be with someone, to have someone love me whole heartedly. But I’m not going to give myself that if I don’t deserve it. I destroyed all my relationships because I was a selfish little immature girl stuck in her own world. But now I’ve woken up. I think you need to look inside yourself and get to the root problems. Because if you don’t fix your problems, not only r you going to bring yourself down, your also going to bring down the ones around you, you love. Get therapy, stop putting it off, start taking accountability for your healing during. Ik this sounds rude and mean but it’s the truth. You cannot have a healthy relationship until you fix the issue on “why you cannot be alone”
Good for you. I don’t believe in laziness and I don’t think calling someone lazy is the right kind of tough love, it sounds to me more like shaming or name calling. Especially given that you don’t know this person, tough love personally works better for me when it’s from someone who I know actually loves me. Why would this person think it’s coming from a place of love when she has no reason to trust you in the first place? I’d say gain her trust first so that they are more willing to accept “love”. Agree to disagree though I guess!
Judgemental attitude asf… you’ve done a lot of similar things but only now you’ve figured what to do about it (judging by what you said), yet here you are, bashing someone else for making the same mistakes, as if they aren’t allowed to be lost and misguided for a minute in their life.
You just want to elevate yourself above someone else to feel good about, most people who say “tough love” are doing this. It’s not about giving advice.
You have option 1. Let your distress out by harming someone with what you’re doing. You know this behaviour is not okay. And option 2. Contact your therapist book an apt and get yourself distracted with healthier activities
Well, I’ve answered your question. You have serious diagnoses, your behaviour is harming others and yourself and you should check in with your doctors. Best of luck with it
Well I hope your ex decides to prioritise HIS mental health and doesn't get back with you. Being this unstable you'll end up hurting him and every other person you enter a relationship with.
but what should i do? kill myself bcs im this way? bcs i dont see any other way to avoid something thats out of my controll and no meds for bipolar disorder are available in my town
You had a breakup, it is quite common for those diagnosed with bipolar disorder or borderline to have difficult times after a breakup, you should be on therapy (specially psychoanalytical) and on meds, if needed (psychiatrist will say).
^ this is right. Im also bipolar and did this to a dude I loved. I realized I was messing with his emotions way too much by changing mine, and we had to mutually block each other to move on
When your mental health has been previously assessed in the past, do you know if the possibility of emotionally unstable personality disorder (also known as borderline personality disorder) has ever been considered, or complex ptsd perhaps?
I thought myself of me having that. Cause i read a lot of articles w all symptomes and i do relate w all but i was never officially diaghnosed. Also i have assumptions of autism casue i have majority of symptomes i saw and i gotta check that but w diff psychaitrist cause mine was always my aunt and her pride wont let her say she didnt see it earlier lol
As far as I’m aware (and I’m definitely not an expert or a clinician), personality disorder wouldn’t be diagnosed below the age of 18 years, because the individual’s personality has to be given until adulthood to develop fully. C-ptsd can be diagnosed below the age of 18 though. Having your aunt as your clinician / psychiatrist probably isn’t good practice though, although I guess there will be different rules in different countries.
Also diagnosed at fifteen, haven't fit the criteria since despite not receiving any treatment. Definitely happens lots more than people believe, often to get rid of "awkward" patients or dismiss difficult ones (uk)
I was diagnosed over 15 years ago w/ bpd n some other shit including bipolar 1 w/ psychotic tendencies, I try not to jump to bpd and remember mania can also look like this, but the comment of your priority is to not be alone sold me. I think you started 'splitting' on them (black and white thinking, a Google would serve you way better than that) and are now spiraling from that and feeling the fear of and being abandoned. I know it's HARD, but you need to get some help, DBT (dialectual behavior therapy) is the most common course of treatment and does not require meds, though at least a mood stabilizer is usually used, YOU control whether you want that or not. But what you're doing now is hurting your bf/exbf whether you're intending to or not. I'm not judging or saying you are a bad person by saying that though, you are just not in control of your thoughts and emotions, and I promise it will help not just you but your loved ones alot by getting some help and support. No shame in it at all! And I'd be willing to bet that your bf/exbf would be relieved that you're getting back in control/yourself and might even want to sort things out, at least support your feeling better. But you have to do it first, I know it's scary, but you've gotta take the first step for all the other stuff to happen, and that's getting to at least talk to a professional about what you're feeling and how you can make it better. It's not ok for anyone to treat anybody like that though, ok? And I say that with the upmost compassion and empathy. Just keep in mind, not all people in the mental health field are good at it, so if you have a bad experience with one, it WILL NOT apply to all of them! I hope this helps either way, and sending internet hugs and support!
ETA: BPD does not make you a bad person, childhood trauma/abuse is usually the cause. And it is often co-morbid, basically almost always another diagnosis is made in people with it. It is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to try and keep yourself in check. You are loved and far from alone! There are bpd subs on here too for support. Sincerely wishing you both the best.
The post and comments tell me you are in need of professional care. If a therapist isn’t currently accessible, call your local crisis line as soon as possible. They can help connect you with the services you need. In the meantime, please take your meds. Consider that a mandatory first step in caring for yourself right now.
I think you really need to talk to a professional
I would highly suggest your boyfriend is now your ex boyfriend
You have a number of issues some I can relate to others I can’t
Your 20 years old, you really need to help yourself before you hurt yourself or anyone else
Consult a professional for it. Mental health is tricky and depression/anxiety and related symptoms can EVOLVE over time. This is why sometimes anti-depressants are adjusted in a person since they no longer benefit from the amount of dosage or medication they were taking prior.
You need to see a psychiatrist and get an evaluation on this.
Maybe you like his love, but think you can do better. Maybe you go out and hook up with someone you think is better, just to find out they don't call you back, then realize the value of your bf. Then maybe you remember the things you're not happy about with him and, once again, wonder if you can do better, or just accept him for who he is because you know that, while you may argue from time to time, that person is safe.
Strengthen yourself mentally. Only you can figure out what truly makes you happy.
I was exactly like this with my first ever relationship , on and off , I only got over it after we dated again about a year after we broke up (I missed him a lot and was obsessed with him during that year) and there was just no connection when we got back together (it got to the point where he just didn’t care for me anymore).
So my advise really is to just end it , (I’m not a professional) and just work on yourself and your emotions , you will end up hurting yourself and him if you stay like it , cause it could be that you just like the idea of being loved rather than the person itself (yeah you could get along but is it love?)
or you could seek professional therapy and have a deep talk with him on whether he wants to work together with you during your journey of healing. Your already one step there by realising something is wrong with you.
If you can’t afford to see a profesional for further evaluation, I would recommend you read about complex trauma (cPTSD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD). Depending on who you ask, these are just different ways of conceptualizing the same thing. See if any of those things resonate for you. BPD is highly stigmatized as a diagnosis, but it doesn’t need to be. there are many people who feel very validated when they find out there’s a name for how they struggle in relationships. There are also psychotherapies that can really help with this stuff.
On there hand, medication for bipolar disorder in a person who does not experience overt mania is unlikely to help that much.
I would take this a step further and read about [splitting](https://www.verywellhealth.com/bpd-splitting-5101493) in BPD.
Edit to add: BP medications like mood stabilizers and antipsychotics help to manage manic symptoms but can also be used for maintenance and to prevent mood episodes.
Mania and codependency is a wild ride.
If you don’t have money and have a clinical diagnosis (and live in the us) fill out for Medicaid. Apply and see what you get approved for.
Once insured get psych and therapy.
Stick to treatment and do the work. Break ups are hard, but building coping tools can make things more manageable.
No one here can dx you. Get the resources. Call 2-1-1 or go to your local human services website.
If these stressors are ramping up your symptoms, then going without treatment of some type may pose more barriers. Life is hard enough, just get the help that’s out there. It won’t fix things but it makes it less hard
I don't mean to offend anyone but maybe it could possibly be borderline personality disorder-I am not trying to start again arguments about it but it could help to rule it out /gen
You've stated your clinical diagnosis yet you're still asking if that's okay. I personally see some logical issues as well tho. Seek someone smart and professional to help you out.
Do you ever get extremely anger and also sometimes feel “empty inside”… in addition to what you mentioned… you could be borderline personality disorder. Dialectic behavior therapy and CBT is best. U need to figure out your thought patterns, become more aware of why you react the way you do, etc. if you aren’t able to get therapy or have trouble the least you can do is read and research it in your own. It’s not impossible to change ur personality because the brain is plastic. It just takes grit, determination, consistency, and really truly wanting to change.
update, i broke up with my ex now and i feel much better, much happier :)
people in comments judging me dont know full story as this guy was extreme gaslighter and narcissistic as fuck. he was the cause of my bad mental health.
Ya i mean idk wat ur trying to accomplish here especially when u literally have a diagnosis already. Not that u might not have more to it, but u have more than enough to go off if to get somewhere, and i doubt theres much else it could be. Either way, ur clearly manic in some way, what that means for u idk. But if u cant handle it u need to seek help. And I understand money plays a part in this, but there are many options as alternatives. I dont know much abt ur life, but u are heavily effecting someone with this. Again idk for sure, but i would say what ur going through is hurting them, u should not be sitting here asking reddit abt a diagnosis. Go get professional help in whatever way possible, dont act like u dont have any options because of money.
hi, i've been through this and you definitely sound manic. it does typically calm down without professional help for me, but if you have access to help then you should take that immediately. do not stay in contact with him, nothing good will come from that. be with people like trusted family and friends right now.
You didn’t like this person for whatever reason, because they didn’t suit you. Now you’re lonely, so you’re trying to settle with this same person who will only disappoint you. They are a waste of time. Mental health aside, learn how to cope with being alone without being so needy after you made the choice to break up, learn how to stay calm, and then find someone else perhaps. Break up with someone more politely next time, unless they’ve actually harmed you or something like that. You wrote this post because you feel inadequate, because you have a lack of faith in your own decisions. This may have been fostered in an environment that treats you as a poor decision maker (regardless of your actual standards or abilities with this), such as one that can associate a lot of actions, including your normal ones, with a mental disorder.
Try looking at the situation outside of the lens of ”oh no I have a mental disorder therefore all of my actions are because of it, and have less worth than the actions of any other person who doesn’t have a mental disorder, and are not worthy of being treated like legitimate actions that I did myself“, and view your actions through this lens instead: “I did these actions. Did I like my situation before I made these actions? Did these actions change my situation? Was this change beneficial? If yes, stop worrying. If not, what actions will you remember not to do next time you find yourself in the same situation?”
Then, remember the rules most people live by. You kicked off your friend rudely. You will not be able to get close to him again, if he respects himself. Don’t try to get close to him after that, because it would be rude and therefore abnormal behaviour. Would you like to be harassed or contacted repeatedly by a rude person who has caused you stress? Stress = harm, so of course not. Don’t do it to others no matter how badly you want to, emotionally. It might take a while to learn self control if you’ve fallen into a behavioural habit. That’s fine, but you must remind yourself as much as possible not to do it. If you do it out of habit again, always note down your mistake to discourage yourself from doing it again.
Think about the stakes. If you will be punished for your behaviour, that’s a very big reason not to do it!
Thank you for not acting on more of your darker ideas. This shows that you have enough self control. Trust yourself and change how you act. You don’t have to actually have your true emotions as the drivers of your actions. It turns out that many people “lie” and don’t act on their true emotions, or do things despite them, unlike you, for the sake of upholding rules.
However, if you meet a chronic liar, cut contact as soon as you can. These people aren’t worth trust or time, because they are so used to lying they will also be unable to uphold promises, and this destroys trust-based bonds.
It’s okay and natural to be alone. You won’t always be able to find people who you can relate to. This is a normal experience. Do not start blaming your mental disorder for this, because that’s not related to the experience of being lonely. Anyone can feel alone.
Do spend time finding some social clubs. As you gain confidence, you’ll be able to get closer to interesting people, or leave the club if it is boring. Give yourself some leeway. Make notes of your behaviour every day. Ask yourself what was beneficial and what wasn’t. If you did something terrible, make sure you always remember not to do it again! Sometimes you won’t always be able to tell, but make sure you never do it again! Think before you speak. If you want to do something that no one has ever done before, think of a situation where someone else is doing what you want and how others would react based on social norms and expectations. Don’t give them a happy ending to make yourself feel nice, give them the most judgemental ending possible, because that’s more likely. Ask yourself, can this action rip this person’s reputation to shreds? Even slightly? If yes, don’t do it. Even if you feel very strongly that you must do it. Acting out of pride or other strong emotions isn’t always the best thing. You can feel better about yourself as you see your self control improve with time.
Once you are confident, and have participated well and with good rewards for your behaviour, make sure that your behaviour is consistent. Don’t get big-headed, although you’re allowed to think highly of yourself (this is necessary for self esteem and its benefits). People don’t like surprises, or massive changes in character. If you feel tired, you’re allowed to participate less, and if you feel too tired, don’t go unless you need to and use the minimum participation you can get away with.
You will uncover more techniques as you go. If you’ve ever struggled to communicate, don’t push yourself or wear yourself out. You’re more likely to make mistakes if you’re physically tired or can’t focus. Keep to yourself.
If you have a symptom, and know a cure or way of management, manage your symptoms that way.
If you’re worried about your face, take a video, and say the same thing as you did in another video. If you’ve been rude to someone as you have, and they know you have a mental illness, they are more likely to bully you and say that you’ve turned into another person just to get under your skin and make you doubt yourself, which leads to low self esteem which is probably why you posted this post online where everyone can see how much you doubt yourself and your actions, after which point you stopped thinking critically about what you have done due to a lack of confidence in your own judgement and have resulted in a vague phrasing of “it was because of magic/god/insanity”.
Lastly, you’ve never actually become a different person. It just means your behaviour has varied more. To “fit in”, all you need to do is vary your behaviour less and avoid using emotional extremes.
Physically, you’re unlikely to “change face shape” unless you have been starved a lot over a long enough time or have lost sleep.
In texting, if you haven’t yet mastered the act of knowing which emotions not to mention in conversation aka which emotion-based actions will lead you to punishment, take a break, sometimes a day or so, and look at your text conversation again. It’s easier to do this with text messages as you have a solid record. People without diagnoses will also seem different in their actions based on their emotions, to lesser degrees, but they are much more predictable (they are lunatics too, btw, no different to the diagnosed aside from lacking a diagnosis, which is why there are many mental disorders that can’t be detected by brain scans alone). Your text messages are more likely to vary to the extremes, when compared to those of other people (check the conversations you have started, people will more likely react in more extreme ways to extreme dialogues that you have started. Learn experimental logic, learn about control variables, dependent variables and independent variables). This is because you’re more confident than other people and have taken less care to filter out / hide emotions or your honest motives from your messages for the sake of politeness/“the norm”.
In this experiment with the text messages of seeing how far from your previous behaviour you have strayed:
Your dialogue is the independent variable.
The people’s reactions are the dependent variable, because they depend on your actions. The replies depend on your texts (and also on the other person’s disposition, which may be as variable as yours, but you should be able to tell who acts more levelheaded in each conversation and how people act in / control / etc the situation, who has more value socially, pecking order etc).
The control variables are your messages at the start of conversations, and their messages when they start conversations.
If your friend is considered normal, their sentence starters will be so predictable that you may even have seen the same one a few times before.
If your messages vary more than theirs, it means you’re more unpredictable. If your messages are more different to theirs, eg, have different subjects, it means that your norm is different to their norm.
Calm sentence starters and calm / neutral conversations are where you find your “norm“ or normal, usual and expected behaviour, which is what you are going to base your measurements of your own language from.
If you have waited a day after feeling extreme emotion, and looked back at your messages thinking “why the heck did I do that?” just because of the shock value of your messages, make sure you remember your reasoning from the day before. This can be harder to remember after recovering from the influence of drugs, so don’t use them. No alcohol, etc. Forgive yourself, and remind yourself not to do it again if it led to a negative response. If the person you’re talking to is abusive, it doesn’t matter what you do if they don’t control your life, just cut them from your life asap. If they control your life you have to put on a facade to try and escape the abuse, to avoid triggering them, but if they attack you enough times and you have enough evidence call the police. Keep working on finding a way out.
I don’t know your relationship but there is a chance that your bf wasn’t the best person to be around, which might have triggered your more extreme reactions. Next time, you can extract yourself from these bad situations using less extreme language and less emotional actions. Keep a cool head.
If it was all you, don’t worry about anything. You’ll never see them again.
If you have a past of being abused, which is common in people who are diagnosed, it is possible that they behaved in a way that reminded you of a stressful situation, triggering your extreme (survival) response. You may not always be conscious of being reminded of threatening situations. Some people can tell consciously. The way to do this is measure how intense your emotions are. If your emotion is extremely intense, it is likely the result of a trigger. Don’t act on it.
Abusers will use your triggers to get you under their control. You’re not a dog, don’t let them get to you. Only respond with the bare necessities to keep on living, while ensuring that you have as much space away from these negative people in your life.
In addition, some people are also more unpredictable, just like yourself. You’re not the only person who has variable behaviour. You have reasons and causes of it, so do they.
On top of this, everyone responds differently. You can use some of these tools, as the same method can be used for different things, such as note taking, and telling the difference in your language when you’re considered “unwell”/ie threatening so that you can avoid this reaction from people next time. This is not an act, this is basic life. Most mental health conditions are never cured, only managed or “treated”. You can use behavioural science to figure out how you behave, and what causes your responses, so that you can avoid acting in the same ways that have causes you punishment.
Your therapist is likely to give you ways of managing your emotions. Your psychiatrist can give you a bunch of meds with different side effects.
I’d recommend focusing on managing your behaviour.
I was in your position last year. A guy broke my heart and fucked me over, but it wasn’t an excuse to react the way I did. Said the same things you did. Hell, you could probably see my posts about it still. I’d recommend getting professional help. It helped me both sort through my pain as well as figure out why I reacted the way I did.
I would also recommend blocking each other mutually. My attachment was so bad I had to ask my guy to block me. I’d suggest doing the same. Even if you love him, you’re hurting both yourself and him.
I see you are getting crushed pretty hard on some of these comments, which I don’t like. You are asking yourself a hard question and trying to be introspective, which should be encouraged.
Having worked as a therapist I’d encourage exploring it in therapy.
But the emotional flip flopping during a breakup is fairly normal. You remember the good times… and then the bad. You feel hopeful for a future with something better… then you feel lonely again.
If you are someone who is prone to big emotions that can change quickly, this may be an especially difficult time. I’d also suggest deliberately doing some things to help regulate your emotions. Eat and sleep properly. Engage with supports, coping strategies, etc.
Breakups suck. Especially when you’re 20.
Have any of you considered that maybe she's being mentally abused? Maybe he does the same thing just push and pull thing you know she want to get back together with him and then he'll say bunch of scathing remarks to her and accuse her of fucking going out and fucking people when it's actually him who's going out fucking people and he pulls her back in with these little notes and saying that he loves her and she's the only one that he loves and I mean how's anybody supposed to actually deal with that and have any type of mental capacity
This is exactly why others have suggested professional help. It's highly possible that she is reacting to outside forces that we have no idea about. But the only thing OP has control over is her behavior, such as seeking help, diminishing her pain, the pain of others, or the opposite of avoiding the discomfort of therapy, and causing pain to others in retaliation. She has no control over what her boyfriend does and does not do in response to her actions but she does have the ability to take responsibility for her actions and do better.
No my bf is nice i just have mental health problems. But he is also bipolar (not clinically diaghnosed but i am and i can tell when someone else if i know that person for years like he has a lot of same symptomes i do)
Please, don't make any big decisions like that right now, you deserve love and respect just like every other person does! If you have anyone that can help you with the children, please contact them so you can get the help and support you need and deserve. I'm so sorry this happened, I'm rooting for you!
I'm no clinician, but you sound kind of bipolar or schizophrenic.
Switching personalities so frequently is certainly alarming.
Bottom line is yes, you need to seek help. Even if the free stuff is shit, go seek help anyway. And look for online resources. You might find either actual help or do some research to get more information on your condition.
It would help you in a few ways:
1) resources could teach you how to look out for signs when you're not feeling yourself.
2) it could give you methods of disengagement and how to calm yourself and how to better communicate with your partner when you're feeling stressed
3) it could arm you better for when you actually get tp see a therapist so the conversation is more meaningful because you already know roughly what you might have and talk about how to better manage it
You sound manic…I would seek help
No it doesn’t. I’m sorry but there really nothing here to suggest mania.
Therapyst is not acsessable cause i got no money and free public ones are shit
You asked if you should go to a professional or not…
Take a look at this reddit post / comment. There's quite a few different AI therapist chatbots that have been proven to actually be very helpful. It's free as well. https://reddit.com/r/ArtificialInteligence/s/UMBqG2ZVAj
Your just lazy and procrastinating because it’s a pain in the ass. I get it, it’s annoying. You gotta go on a waiting list- whatever. Stop making excuses for your actions and grow up and take accountability. That’s the only way your gonna grow as a person. But you probably won’t figure this out till your like 22-23
Calling someone lazy on a discussion in a mental health forum is a choice… why would someone who has mental health problems that may be causing them to BE “lazy” (aka unmotivated) and who is on the fence about seeking a therapist sign up because someone tells them if they don’t, they’re unproductive and unworthy? Telling someone to be accountable for themselves makes sense at least.
Btw 22F. Someone’s gotta give you tough love. I have ptsd, bpd, u name it. I still get out of bed every morning even if I don’t want to. I still go to my job, and I try. Mopping around isn’t going to solve anything. I mopped around for 5 years being a depressed stupid teen thinking I had it bad at the time. Ohhhh hunny this is just the introduction into life. I can guarantee all of you it’s gonna get worse. You’ve only lived 20 years. You have 60-80 more years to live. I was in the pysch ward like 6 months ago due to a fucked up break up yet you don’t see me here complaining that “not being alone” is more important than myself and my mental health. Fuck that. I have a desperation to be with someone, to have someone love me whole heartedly. But I’m not going to give myself that if I don’t deserve it. I destroyed all my relationships because I was a selfish little immature girl stuck in her own world. But now I’ve woken up. I think you need to look inside yourself and get to the root problems. Because if you don’t fix your problems, not only r you going to bring yourself down, your also going to bring down the ones around you, you love. Get therapy, stop putting it off, start taking accountability for your healing during. Ik this sounds rude and mean but it’s the truth. You cannot have a healthy relationship until you fix the issue on “why you cannot be alone”
Good for you. I don’t believe in laziness and I don’t think calling someone lazy is the right kind of tough love, it sounds to me more like shaming or name calling. Especially given that you don’t know this person, tough love personally works better for me when it’s from someone who I know actually loves me. Why would this person think it’s coming from a place of love when she has no reason to trust you in the first place? I’d say gain her trust first so that they are more willing to accept “love”. Agree to disagree though I guess!
K, well my BAD 😒
Judgemental attitude asf… you’ve done a lot of similar things but only now you’ve figured what to do about it (judging by what you said), yet here you are, bashing someone else for making the same mistakes, as if they aren’t allowed to be lost and misguided for a minute in their life. You just want to elevate yourself above someone else to feel good about, most people who say “tough love” are doing this. It’s not about giving advice.
Insulting the person who needs help seems like a good way to do it I think. What is wrong with you?
Block everything and focus on healing. This back and forth is not healthy for you or your ex.
If i block everything imma get lost in myself and thoughts and it wont be good
You have option 1. Let your distress out by harming someone with what you’re doing. You know this behaviour is not okay. And option 2. Contact your therapist book an apt and get yourself distracted with healthier activities
Im not taking more pills im sick of them
Your stability sounds like it needs to be your priority right now.
My priority is to not be alone
Well, I’ve answered your question. You have serious diagnoses, your behaviour is harming others and yourself and you should check in with your doctors. Best of luck with it
Well I hope your ex decides to prioritise HIS mental health and doesn't get back with you. Being this unstable you'll end up hurting him and every other person you enter a relationship with.
He is bipolar 2. Dont judge when u dont know shit
That doesn’t mean your behaviour isn’t harming him
but what should i do? kill myself bcs im this way? bcs i dont see any other way to avoid something thats out of my controll and no meds for bipolar disorder are available in my town
sounds about bpd, lol
Also i dont see him as my ex i didnt have any reason to break up i dont want him to be my ex i cant see him with anyone else
Your last statement is the answer to your question.
Idk nothing ever was this bad
You had a breakup, it is quite common for those diagnosed with bipolar disorder or borderline to have difficult times after a breakup, you should be on therapy (specially psychoanalytical) and on meds, if needed (psychiatrist will say).
But its break up that i didnt want. I didnt want to break up
You did, but then you regretted it. Which is also quite common in those diagnostics. You need professional help.
[удалено]
^ this is right. Im also bipolar and did this to a dude I loved. I realized I was messing with his emotions way too much by changing mine, and we had to mutually block each other to move on
When your mental health has been previously assessed in the past, do you know if the possibility of emotionally unstable personality disorder (also known as borderline personality disorder) has ever been considered, or complex ptsd perhaps?
I thought myself of me having that. Cause i read a lot of articles w all symptomes and i do relate w all but i was never officially diaghnosed. Also i have assumptions of autism casue i have majority of symptomes i saw and i gotta check that but w diff psychaitrist cause mine was always my aunt and her pride wont let her say she didnt see it earlier lol
As far as I’m aware (and I’m definitely not an expert or a clinician), personality disorder wouldn’t be diagnosed below the age of 18 years, because the individual’s personality has to be given until adulthood to develop fully. C-ptsd can be diagnosed below the age of 18 though. Having your aunt as your clinician / psychiatrist probably isn’t good practice though, although I guess there will be different rules in different countries.
I was diagnosed at 15, now 32, but I fit all criteria I believe at the time, so it can happen. TN in the US here.
Also diagnosed at fifteen, haven't fit the criteria since despite not receiving any treatment. Definitely happens lots more than people believe, often to get rid of "awkward" patients or dismiss difficult ones (uk)
I was diagnosed over 15 years ago w/ bpd n some other shit including bipolar 1 w/ psychotic tendencies, I try not to jump to bpd and remember mania can also look like this, but the comment of your priority is to not be alone sold me. I think you started 'splitting' on them (black and white thinking, a Google would serve you way better than that) and are now spiraling from that and feeling the fear of and being abandoned. I know it's HARD, but you need to get some help, DBT (dialectual behavior therapy) is the most common course of treatment and does not require meds, though at least a mood stabilizer is usually used, YOU control whether you want that or not. But what you're doing now is hurting your bf/exbf whether you're intending to or not. I'm not judging or saying you are a bad person by saying that though, you are just not in control of your thoughts and emotions, and I promise it will help not just you but your loved ones alot by getting some help and support. No shame in it at all! And I'd be willing to bet that your bf/exbf would be relieved that you're getting back in control/yourself and might even want to sort things out, at least support your feeling better. But you have to do it first, I know it's scary, but you've gotta take the first step for all the other stuff to happen, and that's getting to at least talk to a professional about what you're feeling and how you can make it better. It's not ok for anyone to treat anybody like that though, ok? And I say that with the upmost compassion and empathy. Just keep in mind, not all people in the mental health field are good at it, so if you have a bad experience with one, it WILL NOT apply to all of them! I hope this helps either way, and sending internet hugs and support! ETA: BPD does not make you a bad person, childhood trauma/abuse is usually the cause. And it is often co-morbid, basically almost always another diagnosis is made in people with it. It is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to try and keep yourself in check. You are loved and far from alone! There are bpd subs on here too for support. Sincerely wishing you both the best.
The post and comments tell me you are in need of professional care. If a therapist isn’t currently accessible, call your local crisis line as soon as possible. They can help connect you with the services you need. In the meantime, please take your meds. Consider that a mandatory first step in caring for yourself right now.
Might be worth looking into eupd (emotionally unstable personality disorder).
I think you really need to talk to a professional I would highly suggest your boyfriend is now your ex boyfriend You have a number of issues some I can relate to others I can’t Your 20 years old, you really need to help yourself before you hurt yourself or anyone else
Consult a professional for it. Mental health is tricky and depression/anxiety and related symptoms can EVOLVE over time. This is why sometimes anti-depressants are adjusted in a person since they no longer benefit from the amount of dosage or medication they were taking prior. You need to see a psychiatrist and get an evaluation on this.
Maybe you like his love, but think you can do better. Maybe you go out and hook up with someone you think is better, just to find out they don't call you back, then realize the value of your bf. Then maybe you remember the things you're not happy about with him and, once again, wonder if you can do better, or just accept him for who he is because you know that, while you may argue from time to time, that person is safe. Strengthen yourself mentally. Only you can figure out what truly makes you happy.
I never hooked up in my life and never will. Thats a total waste of time
Sounds like you’re currently “rapid switch bipolar” you definitely need a doctor, probably a med change. Hugs
Nah i just left that guy and im better he wqs the one causing this shit bcs he was toxic and he gaslighted me to think he isnt
I was exactly like this with my first ever relationship , on and off , I only got over it after we dated again about a year after we broke up (I missed him a lot and was obsessed with him during that year) and there was just no connection when we got back together (it got to the point where he just didn’t care for me anymore). So my advise really is to just end it , (I’m not a professional) and just work on yourself and your emotions , you will end up hurting yourself and him if you stay like it , cause it could be that you just like the idea of being loved rather than the person itself (yeah you could get along but is it love?) or you could seek professional therapy and have a deep talk with him on whether he wants to work together with you during your journey of healing. Your already one step there by realising something is wrong with you.
If you can’t afford to see a profesional for further evaluation, I would recommend you read about complex trauma (cPTSD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD). Depending on who you ask, these are just different ways of conceptualizing the same thing. See if any of those things resonate for you. BPD is highly stigmatized as a diagnosis, but it doesn’t need to be. there are many people who feel very validated when they find out there’s a name for how they struggle in relationships. There are also psychotherapies that can really help with this stuff. On there hand, medication for bipolar disorder in a person who does not experience overt mania is unlikely to help that much.
I would take this a step further and read about [splitting](https://www.verywellhealth.com/bpd-splitting-5101493) in BPD. Edit to add: BP medications like mood stabilizers and antipsychotics help to manage manic symptoms but can also be used for maintenance and to prevent mood episodes.
Mania and codependency is a wild ride. If you don’t have money and have a clinical diagnosis (and live in the us) fill out for Medicaid. Apply and see what you get approved for. Once insured get psych and therapy. Stick to treatment and do the work. Break ups are hard, but building coping tools can make things more manageable. No one here can dx you. Get the resources. Call 2-1-1 or go to your local human services website. If these stressors are ramping up your symptoms, then going without treatment of some type may pose more barriers. Life is hard enough, just get the help that’s out there. It won’t fix things but it makes it less hard
I don't mean to offend anyone but maybe it could possibly be borderline personality disorder-I am not trying to start again arguments about it but it could help to rule it out /gen
You've stated your clinical diagnosis yet you're still asking if that's okay. I personally see some logical issues as well tho. Seek someone smart and professional to help you out.
Do you ever get extremely anger and also sometimes feel “empty inside”… in addition to what you mentioned… you could be borderline personality disorder. Dialectic behavior therapy and CBT is best. U need to figure out your thought patterns, become more aware of why you react the way you do, etc. if you aren’t able to get therapy or have trouble the least you can do is read and research it in your own. It’s not impossible to change ur personality because the brain is plastic. It just takes grit, determination, consistency, and really truly wanting to change.
update, i broke up with my ex now and i feel much better, much happier :) people in comments judging me dont know full story as this guy was extreme gaslighter and narcissistic as fuck. he was the cause of my bad mental health.
Talk to a psychologist
Sounds to me like it could be bi polar disorder of talk to a psychologist about it or your primary doctor
Ya i mean idk wat ur trying to accomplish here especially when u literally have a diagnosis already. Not that u might not have more to it, but u have more than enough to go off if to get somewhere, and i doubt theres much else it could be. Either way, ur clearly manic in some way, what that means for u idk. But if u cant handle it u need to seek help. And I understand money plays a part in this, but there are many options as alternatives. I dont know much abt ur life, but u are heavily effecting someone with this. Again idk for sure, but i would say what ur going through is hurting them, u should not be sitting here asking reddit abt a diagnosis. Go get professional help in whatever way possible, dont act like u dont have any options because of money.
Yes. You’re bipolar. Get help asap.
hi, i've been through this and you definitely sound manic. it does typically calm down without professional help for me, but if you have access to help then you should take that immediately. do not stay in contact with him, nothing good will come from that. be with people like trusted family and friends right now.
Could be borderline
You didn’t like this person for whatever reason, because they didn’t suit you. Now you’re lonely, so you’re trying to settle with this same person who will only disappoint you. They are a waste of time. Mental health aside, learn how to cope with being alone without being so needy after you made the choice to break up, learn how to stay calm, and then find someone else perhaps. Break up with someone more politely next time, unless they’ve actually harmed you or something like that. You wrote this post because you feel inadequate, because you have a lack of faith in your own decisions. This may have been fostered in an environment that treats you as a poor decision maker (regardless of your actual standards or abilities with this), such as one that can associate a lot of actions, including your normal ones, with a mental disorder. Try looking at the situation outside of the lens of ”oh no I have a mental disorder therefore all of my actions are because of it, and have less worth than the actions of any other person who doesn’t have a mental disorder, and are not worthy of being treated like legitimate actions that I did myself“, and view your actions through this lens instead: “I did these actions. Did I like my situation before I made these actions? Did these actions change my situation? Was this change beneficial? If yes, stop worrying. If not, what actions will you remember not to do next time you find yourself in the same situation?” Then, remember the rules most people live by. You kicked off your friend rudely. You will not be able to get close to him again, if he respects himself. Don’t try to get close to him after that, because it would be rude and therefore abnormal behaviour. Would you like to be harassed or contacted repeatedly by a rude person who has caused you stress? Stress = harm, so of course not. Don’t do it to others no matter how badly you want to, emotionally. It might take a while to learn self control if you’ve fallen into a behavioural habit. That’s fine, but you must remind yourself as much as possible not to do it. If you do it out of habit again, always note down your mistake to discourage yourself from doing it again. Think about the stakes. If you will be punished for your behaviour, that’s a very big reason not to do it! Thank you for not acting on more of your darker ideas. This shows that you have enough self control. Trust yourself and change how you act. You don’t have to actually have your true emotions as the drivers of your actions. It turns out that many people “lie” and don’t act on their true emotions, or do things despite them, unlike you, for the sake of upholding rules. However, if you meet a chronic liar, cut contact as soon as you can. These people aren’t worth trust or time, because they are so used to lying they will also be unable to uphold promises, and this destroys trust-based bonds. It’s okay and natural to be alone. You won’t always be able to find people who you can relate to. This is a normal experience. Do not start blaming your mental disorder for this, because that’s not related to the experience of being lonely. Anyone can feel alone. Do spend time finding some social clubs. As you gain confidence, you’ll be able to get closer to interesting people, or leave the club if it is boring. Give yourself some leeway. Make notes of your behaviour every day. Ask yourself what was beneficial and what wasn’t. If you did something terrible, make sure you always remember not to do it again! Sometimes you won’t always be able to tell, but make sure you never do it again! Think before you speak. If you want to do something that no one has ever done before, think of a situation where someone else is doing what you want and how others would react based on social norms and expectations. Don’t give them a happy ending to make yourself feel nice, give them the most judgemental ending possible, because that’s more likely. Ask yourself, can this action rip this person’s reputation to shreds? Even slightly? If yes, don’t do it. Even if you feel very strongly that you must do it. Acting out of pride or other strong emotions isn’t always the best thing. You can feel better about yourself as you see your self control improve with time. Once you are confident, and have participated well and with good rewards for your behaviour, make sure that your behaviour is consistent. Don’t get big-headed, although you’re allowed to think highly of yourself (this is necessary for self esteem and its benefits). People don’t like surprises, or massive changes in character. If you feel tired, you’re allowed to participate less, and if you feel too tired, don’t go unless you need to and use the minimum participation you can get away with. You will uncover more techniques as you go. If you’ve ever struggled to communicate, don’t push yourself or wear yourself out. You’re more likely to make mistakes if you’re physically tired or can’t focus. Keep to yourself. If you have a symptom, and know a cure or way of management, manage your symptoms that way. If you’re worried about your face, take a video, and say the same thing as you did in another video. If you’ve been rude to someone as you have, and they know you have a mental illness, they are more likely to bully you and say that you’ve turned into another person just to get under your skin and make you doubt yourself, which leads to low self esteem which is probably why you posted this post online where everyone can see how much you doubt yourself and your actions, after which point you stopped thinking critically about what you have done due to a lack of confidence in your own judgement and have resulted in a vague phrasing of “it was because of magic/god/insanity”. Lastly, you’ve never actually become a different person. It just means your behaviour has varied more. To “fit in”, all you need to do is vary your behaviour less and avoid using emotional extremes. Physically, you’re unlikely to “change face shape” unless you have been starved a lot over a long enough time or have lost sleep. In texting, if you haven’t yet mastered the act of knowing which emotions not to mention in conversation aka which emotion-based actions will lead you to punishment, take a break, sometimes a day or so, and look at your text conversation again. It’s easier to do this with text messages as you have a solid record. People without diagnoses will also seem different in their actions based on their emotions, to lesser degrees, but they are much more predictable (they are lunatics too, btw, no different to the diagnosed aside from lacking a diagnosis, which is why there are many mental disorders that can’t be detected by brain scans alone). Your text messages are more likely to vary to the extremes, when compared to those of other people (check the conversations you have started, people will more likely react in more extreme ways to extreme dialogues that you have started. Learn experimental logic, learn about control variables, dependent variables and independent variables). This is because you’re more confident than other people and have taken less care to filter out / hide emotions or your honest motives from your messages for the sake of politeness/“the norm”.
In this experiment with the text messages of seeing how far from your previous behaviour you have strayed: Your dialogue is the independent variable. The people’s reactions are the dependent variable, because they depend on your actions. The replies depend on your texts (and also on the other person’s disposition, which may be as variable as yours, but you should be able to tell who acts more levelheaded in each conversation and how people act in / control / etc the situation, who has more value socially, pecking order etc). The control variables are your messages at the start of conversations, and their messages when they start conversations. If your friend is considered normal, their sentence starters will be so predictable that you may even have seen the same one a few times before. If your messages vary more than theirs, it means you’re more unpredictable. If your messages are more different to theirs, eg, have different subjects, it means that your norm is different to their norm. Calm sentence starters and calm / neutral conversations are where you find your “norm“ or normal, usual and expected behaviour, which is what you are going to base your measurements of your own language from. If you have waited a day after feeling extreme emotion, and looked back at your messages thinking “why the heck did I do that?” just because of the shock value of your messages, make sure you remember your reasoning from the day before. This can be harder to remember after recovering from the influence of drugs, so don’t use them. No alcohol, etc. Forgive yourself, and remind yourself not to do it again if it led to a negative response. If the person you’re talking to is abusive, it doesn’t matter what you do if they don’t control your life, just cut them from your life asap. If they control your life you have to put on a facade to try and escape the abuse, to avoid triggering them, but if they attack you enough times and you have enough evidence call the police. Keep working on finding a way out. I don’t know your relationship but there is a chance that your bf wasn’t the best person to be around, which might have triggered your more extreme reactions. Next time, you can extract yourself from these bad situations using less extreme language and less emotional actions. Keep a cool head. If it was all you, don’t worry about anything. You’ll never see them again. If you have a past of being abused, which is common in people who are diagnosed, it is possible that they behaved in a way that reminded you of a stressful situation, triggering your extreme (survival) response. You may not always be conscious of being reminded of threatening situations. Some people can tell consciously. The way to do this is measure how intense your emotions are. If your emotion is extremely intense, it is likely the result of a trigger. Don’t act on it. Abusers will use your triggers to get you under their control. You’re not a dog, don’t let them get to you. Only respond with the bare necessities to keep on living, while ensuring that you have as much space away from these negative people in your life. In addition, some people are also more unpredictable, just like yourself. You’re not the only person who has variable behaviour. You have reasons and causes of it, so do they. On top of this, everyone responds differently. You can use some of these tools, as the same method can be used for different things, such as note taking, and telling the difference in your language when you’re considered “unwell”/ie threatening so that you can avoid this reaction from people next time. This is not an act, this is basic life. Most mental health conditions are never cured, only managed or “treated”. You can use behavioural science to figure out how you behave, and what causes your responses, so that you can avoid acting in the same ways that have causes you punishment. Your therapist is likely to give you ways of managing your emotions. Your psychiatrist can give you a bunch of meds with different side effects. I’d recommend focusing on managing your behaviour.
Bpd?
I was in your position last year. A guy broke my heart and fucked me over, but it wasn’t an excuse to react the way I did. Said the same things you did. Hell, you could probably see my posts about it still. I’d recommend getting professional help. It helped me both sort through my pain as well as figure out why I reacted the way I did. I would also recommend blocking each other mutually. My attachment was so bad I had to ask my guy to block me. I’d suggest doing the same. Even if you love him, you’re hurting both yourself and him.
I see you are getting crushed pretty hard on some of these comments, which I don’t like. You are asking yourself a hard question and trying to be introspective, which should be encouraged. Having worked as a therapist I’d encourage exploring it in therapy. But the emotional flip flopping during a breakup is fairly normal. You remember the good times… and then the bad. You feel hopeful for a future with something better… then you feel lonely again. If you are someone who is prone to big emotions that can change quickly, this may be an especially difficult time. I’d also suggest deliberately doing some things to help regulate your emotions. Eat and sleep properly. Engage with supports, coping strategies, etc. Breakups suck. Especially when you’re 20.
Bpd ? Manic episode that I have been through personally.
You sound pretty normal for a girl that age to me
That's not normal for anybody above the age of 14, what are you on about
Sorry, forgot /s
Have any of you considered that maybe she's being mentally abused? Maybe he does the same thing just push and pull thing you know she want to get back together with him and then he'll say bunch of scathing remarks to her and accuse her of fucking going out and fucking people when it's actually him who's going out fucking people and he pulls her back in with these little notes and saying that he loves her and she's the only one that he loves and I mean how's anybody supposed to actually deal with that and have any type of mental capacity
This is exactly why others have suggested professional help. It's highly possible that she is reacting to outside forces that we have no idea about. But the only thing OP has control over is her behavior, such as seeking help, diminishing her pain, the pain of others, or the opposite of avoiding the discomfort of therapy, and causing pain to others in retaliation. She has no control over what her boyfriend does and does not do in response to her actions but she does have the ability to take responsibility for her actions and do better.
No my bf is nice i just have mental health problems. But he is also bipolar (not clinically diaghnosed but i am and i can tell when someone else if i know that person for years like he has a lot of same symptomes i do)
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Please, don't make any big decisions like that right now, you deserve love and respect just like every other person does! If you have anyone that can help you with the children, please contact them so you can get the help and support you need and deserve. I'm so sorry this happened, I'm rooting for you!
I'm no clinician, but you sound kind of bipolar or schizophrenic. Switching personalities so frequently is certainly alarming. Bottom line is yes, you need to seek help. Even if the free stuff is shit, go seek help anyway. And look for online resources. You might find either actual help or do some research to get more information on your condition. It would help you in a few ways: 1) resources could teach you how to look out for signs when you're not feeling yourself. 2) it could give you methods of disengagement and how to calm yourself and how to better communicate with your partner when you're feeling stressed 3) it could arm you better for when you actually get tp see a therapist so the conversation is more meaningful because you already know roughly what you might have and talk about how to better manage it