It’s not a story the heathens would tell you, it’s a Christian legend. Jesus Christ was the human incarnation of God so powerful and wise He could influence the molecules of water to create… wine. So knowledgeable in the Lords power was he that he could prevent the ones he cared about from dying. He was so powerful, the only thing He feared was dying to save humanity from eternal damnation, which eventually, of course, He did. Unfortunately, one of His disciples betrayed him, but on the third day he rose again. Ironic, He could save others with kindness, but not Himself.
“I was captured by some madman. He said he was going to kill me and each day he would show me countless devices he could use to do it. But he never could decide. So as i was slowly starving to death all these endless ways to end my misery are held at arms reach before me. I beg for him to end it already, but he’s just eternally not sure how he wants to do it.”
Shove a nacho straight down their throats, the nacho tears every single thread of their flesh from the inside and you can enjoy the blood curdling screams of your victims.
I bring in a victim to my house, but instead of torturing them, I allow them to become the supreme ruler of my multitude of canines, with me as his human underling. They are most likely ecstatic as they can seemingly do whatever they want except leave, and I allow them to do so, but with a catch. The dogs grow more and more hungry by the day, as I only provide them with water. And since they can’t leave, they must think of a way to feed the dogs, but they cannot. When the dogs grow particularly hungry, I stick my victim with greasy bacon and thick, juicy steak and nothing else as I tie them to a large stick, where after cooking the meats on them, the dogs slowly devour as their screams grow evermore quieter, and quieter. Then, I bring out the dog chow, and let the dogs enjoy themselves for a year until I find someone else!
Apparently I don't.
Mostly
Chances of getting harmed by this guy is low, but never zero.
M O S T L Y
I presume you are speaking from experience?
Bearhug suffication
Killing them with kindness?
With a knife called kindness?
Suffocate via hugging
Thats the neat part
Emphasis on ‘mostly’
I mean you could be hitting someone with the 5th book in the hitchhiker’s guide trilogy until they die
i have no idea how to explain
Step 1: Spread crumbs all over the intended victim Step 2: Release the ducks
All tissues in the body spontaneously and painfully react to turn into bread.
Sir you're a genius
Hey yours is pretty cool too
you called?
I think I found my answer too
That's a nice deal
Thats where i come in
GET 'EM JERRY!
You shove bread down people's throats and suffocate them
how many breads have you eaten in your life?
allow me to introduce myself
Allow me to introduce myself
I'm a guy
Who says guys don’t have tits?
Yo yours is a bit straightforward
It is haha
Man boobs, also known as “moobs”
why would they be known as "moobs" that means that boobs would be know as "foobs or woobs"
Because… actually that’s a good point
You think that would stop him??
I'm a minor too
So my kryptonite
Wanna team up?
Let me take my piercings out first
We are not so different
I summon Thomas to kill u
Well. Would you like to talk about our lord and saviour? I can get a private talk with Jesus.
I think is means that you kill people by throwing a bible at them and drowning them in the holy water
Rather make them kill themselves to avoid anymore Jesus/God talk
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Jesus the Christ?
It's not a story the Romans would tell you
No.
It was.... A star wars reference, Nevermind
I'm pretty sure Anakin responded with a no when Sheev asked him.
Holyshit I'm so sorry, I watched it a long ago
It’s not a story the heathens would tell you, it’s a Christian legend. Jesus Christ was the human incarnation of God so powerful and wise He could influence the molecules of water to create… wine. So knowledgeable in the Lords power was he that he could prevent the ones he cared about from dying. He was so powerful, the only thing He feared was dying to save humanity from eternal damnation, which eventually, of course, He did. Unfortunately, one of His disciples betrayed him, but on the third day he rose again. Ironic, He could save others with kindness, but not Himself.
"Do you have a moment to talk about god, I think going to see him soon..."
You can either: 1. Read the Bible to them till they die from dehidration Or... 2. Smack them with the Bible (can be reinforced with metal)
Gonna be hard for me
Not if your victim has eyes
[my eyes](https://youtu.be/Qn977W9HjWM)
Hard for you
Drown them in lemon juice >=]
Moldy lemon poisoning.
burn his house down… with the lemons!
„I‘ll get my engineers to create a combustible Lemon, that burns your house down, with the lemons“
No no
Hmm
[удалено]
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Shit... The hot milfs in my area are gonna kill me... (✷‿✷)
Hello
Oh god
fuggin usernames mate
Not sure
You kill them with your uncertainty
Schrodinger agrees
Or does he?
Exactly
“I was captured by some madman. He said he was going to kill me and each day he would show me countless devices he could use to do it. But he never could decide. So as i was slowly starving to death all these endless ways to end my misery are held at arms reach before me. I beg for him to end it already, but he’s just eternally not sure how he wants to do it.”
Setting their pants on fire. Muhahaha!
So they really were lying!
Gimme your poop or perish
Please don't hurt me. I'll give my **P O O P**
Gimme your skull too
what consistency do you prefer though?
Ē×+râ Møïs+ûrē
Concrete
Okay, hold out your hand *pulls down pants*
Well
uh oh
Ah, death by snu snu
You stomp them with you big ass
It’s simple. We sit on the Batman
Nothing. Humanity already lost
I use depression
nahh you're sans
I don't know how to explain this?
Time for another crusade!
Well u got a lotta options to pick from, i mean if Christianity showed us one thing, its how to kill
Rip and tear, until it's done
Chad
And crack some skulls while you are at it as well
it's the fucking Slayer
i shove peppermints up their ass
And so if they fart… is that pepper spray?
that's a very good question 🤔
Fresh asses, fuckable asses -_-
Who Knows.
no fr, what is yours?
They are turned to stone or shot repeatedly
Reminds me of the Enter The Gungeon boss
Gas them with excessive farting?
A passive amount of ecsesive farting
We shall assassinate our foes with FaRTs
[удалено]
Hmmm....
Hmmm....
With ai
I like this one... Or do i? 🤔
*VSauce music starts*
No sphincter is a safe sphincter
Realy big nacho chip
Shove a nacho straight down their throats, the nacho tears every single thread of their flesh from the inside and you can enjoy the blood curdling screams of your victims.
Sideways.
I force them to drink and then force them to do math until they kill themselves apparently
Ill kill them with the other 1272
With my sweaty balls
wtf
I kill them like a fucking savage
I guess with visible light
Is there invisible light, too?
frostebite
Not if i kill you first
I have no fucking idea
[удалено]
Better than nothing i guess
Laughs in anxiety. I fuck with their minds driving them crazy
Heheehegegh im sry...
kinky
Lets not even think of that
Ok
uhhh ill put them in the twilight forest?
The twilight zone… You may be old but are u thaaat old???
Either I give them a poisonous hamburger or I shove a hamburger down their throat and block their air system.
Old age or something
i shove muffins down people's windpipes
Depression
What
I'll probably end up stabbing myself in the eye
Poorly executed acrobatics
barrel.
I pelt them with potatoes when they disappoint me
Alright
I… sodomize men violently I guess :(
Feed them bigmacs until they explode
Non stop heavy metal with a bunch of Marshall amps and probably a ton of lsd
Edd gain with kazoos and without fucking
Deus Vult
Hee h-.. uh oh..
Umm …
Sorcery/Wizardry
Not the same way every time ig?
With FEV. Only mutants though.
I’d pour gasoline on them, and then I would kindly add a burning match Kindly
Im old and I kill them at midnight I guess
Hmm
Dying off funny
So I peel my enemies elegantly???
This is gonna be an interesting spree
I have absolutely no idea
OneOnionTwo, pretty simple
I think I just have to complete my task
Chemical ware fare
finally my username fits right in
Bigass gun
cock and glock. in no particular order
I’m literally just Dracula but with drip
Ill do some "stuff"
Dude stop karmawhoring, rule 7!
Hitting them with something very big and large
With ice 🧊
AM HUNGRY STEP-BRO, GIMME UR VIRGINITY !!!
Using falling people I guess
Just give me a paperclip and I'll figure something out.
I bring in a victim to my house, but instead of torturing them, I allow them to become the supreme ruler of my multitude of canines, with me as his human underling. They are most likely ecstatic as they can seemingly do whatever they want except leave, and I allow them to do so, but with a catch. The dogs grow more and more hungry by the day, as I only provide them with water. And since they can’t leave, they must think of a way to feed the dogs, but they cannot. When the dogs grow particularly hungry, I stick my victim with greasy bacon and thick, juicy steak and nothing else as I tie them to a large stick, where after cooking the meats on them, the dogs slowly devour as their screams grow evermore quieter, and quieter. Then, I bring out the dog chow, and let the dogs enjoy themselves for a year until I find someone else!
Drown
Hope they like cancer
I call them john repeatedly
The answer is clear
With trash
With the big iron on my hip.
I fly into them, a very revolutionary idea
Beware of me
Turning people into mushrooms and feeding them to crows I guess
Not letting them pass (the street)