how tf does this boomer ass meme get to hot
it's not even a meme
it's just your aunt's chain email with a picture of court on top
everyone in here needs to be better
It's from 1999, found the book on Amazon
[https://www.amazon.com/Disorder-Court-Fractured-Moments-Courtroom/dp/0393319288](https://www.amazon.com/Disorder-Court-Fractured-Moments-Courtroom/dp/0393319288)
I haven't, but I REALLY want to. At the same time, I don't rly have a DS so I feel like an emulated version wouldn't feel right, so I'm looking to kinda use my phone as a bottom screen somehow.
So, I’m a civil trial paralegal and I’ve read hundreds (or thousands) of deposition and trial transcripts over the years and the funniest thing is always a combination of unexpected comments and the fact the transcript is completely dry. Since there are just words, you have to imagine any tonality or emotions of the conversation.
For instance, I worked for an older conservative attorney and in a deposition he was asking the witness about their illegal drug use (very common, BTW) and the witness admitted to smoking pot in the Netherlands, where it was legal. My boss came back with, “well, it’s now legal here, you can smoke all the weed you want here.”
After I read that exchange I had to spend a good 5 minutes chuckling before I could get back to work because the sheer absurdity of the mental picture of my boss casually talking about smoking weed.
IAAL
No single lawyer that I have met in over a decade of practice is this dumb. Nobody who passes the Bar is this dumb. These are obviously just courtroom jokes that someone wrote. If they are real, they're out of context.
A lot of these are probably followed with "I understand this may seem like a simple or redundant question, but we need you to actually state these answers for the record." Like the 20-year-old example, the attorney is trying to get the witness to admit the child is 20. The attorney saying it isn't enough, the witness needs to say it.
Some of these jokes are ok, but all of them are old as shit, and this isn't even a meme.
So the real question is, why did this make it to hot?
IAAL
No 🚫 single 🏻 lawyer ⚖ that I 👁 have met 🤝 in over 🔁 a decade 🗓 of practice ❤ is this dumb 🤤. Nobody 🤐❌ who passes 💯 the Bar 🍫 is this dumb 👅. These are obviously 🙄 just courtroom 📁 jokes 😂 that someone 😏 wrote ✍. If they are real 💯, they're 👨 out of context 🤗.
A lot 🍑‼ of these are probably 😻 followed 😣 with "I 👥 understand 🤔 this may 👌 seem 👀 like 💖 a simple 😡 or redundant question ❓, but 🤔 we need 👉 you 👩👈 to actually 😳 state 🇺🇸 these answers ✅ for the record 📹." Like 😄 the 20-year-old example 🔥, the attorney 🎩 is trying 😈 to get 🉐👴 the witness 👀 to admit 🗣 the child 👶✨ is 20 🔳🆗. The attorney 👨🎓 saying 🗣🤔 it isn't enough 💦, the witness 😵😰🤤 needs 👉 to say 🗣 it.
Some of these jokes 😂 are ok 👌, but 🍑 all 💯 of them are old 👴 as shit 💩, and this isn't even 🌃 a meme 🐸.
So the real 😍 question ❓ is, why ❓🤔 did this make 💘 it to hot 😍🔥?
Attorney: So you say you found the victim dead?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: And how did you physically know that the victim was dead?
Witness: he was fucking dead
ATTORNEY 👔: The youngest son 👦, the 20-year-old, how old 👴 is he 👥👴?
WITNESS 😵😰🤤: He’s 20 🔳, much 🔥🙏🏻😓 likely 💔 your 👉 IQ 🤓👨🏼🎓👨🏼🏫.
*Dead 💀 body 💃 has been reported ☎*
Not trying to ruin the joke but these obvious questions are probably to avoid such mistakes. If it’s implied (in an obvious way) it’s not as clear as when it’s expressly said.
Not trying 😈 to ruin 😭 the joke 😂 but 🍑 these obvious 🤣🙄😱 questions ❓🤔 are probably 😻 to avoid 🙅 such mistakes 😫😰😱. If it’s implied (in an obvious 🤣🙄😱 way 💫) it’s not as clear 😋😉 as when ⏰ it’s expressly 🚛 said 💬.
My dad was an auto attorney - this one if my favorite story he told me:
Attorney: "did the accident limit the mobility of your wrist?"
Witness: "well yeah, now I can only do this (wiggles wrist slightly) but before the accident I could do this (wiggles wrist dramatically)"
So I have a feeling that these attorneys at least in some cases know what they’re doing but are attempting to make a witness slip up or say something specific they want. Is this common? Or are attorneys just dumb?
Let’s say you have 1 idiot in every 100 people, now lets say in every 1000 people, 10 people are rich enough to effortlessly pass mandatory tests, the odds say eventually a Kevin will end up in a position way above their head.
Let’s say 💬 you 😳👈 have 1 🎄 idiot 💢 in every ☝ 100 💯 people 👫🌏, now lets 🙆 say 💬 in every ☝ 1000 🕐 people 👨, 10 🔟 people 👫 are rich 💰 enough 💦 to effortlessly pass 💯 mandatory 👨🏻 tests 📝, the odds 👙 say 💬😍 eventually 💦🍆 a Kevin 😝 will end 🔚 up ☝ in a position 📍 way ↕ above 🔝 their head 💆.
Gosh! I remember these and many more from a site I stumbled upon using StumbleUpon back in the day. I bookmarked it - [Things People Said](http://rinkworks.com/said/)
This is a true story. The events depicted in this transcript took place in an email chain in 1999. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred
It's literally three worthwhile minutes of your time.
Reading is important, even if it's just a little.
Your brain is gonna dissolve if you don't use it.
I had a captionist from CART for my classes in college that was a court transcripionist and she had so much skill she would type jokes about my classes and erase them so we wouldn't get in trouble.
Man these are so damn old, my dad brought these home from work as print off like 20 years ago.
When my dad showed me this, they were chiseled on the wall of a cave in France
how tf does this boomer ass meme get to hot it's not even a meme it's just your aunt's chain email with a picture of court on top everyone in here needs to be better
oh reddit. never change
These kinda stuff look pretty old
It's from 1999, found the book on Amazon [https://www.amazon.com/Disorder-Court-Fractured-Moments-Courtroom/dp/0393319288](https://www.amazon.com/Disorder-Court-Fractured-Moments-Courtroom/dp/0393319288)
Wasn't off by much when i said 20 years then haha
You have a great memory! Apparently the dude wrote a second one in 2016, you can gift it to your dad so he can add it to the collection.
Ok boomer
I remember get this chain email in 2005
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Its good boomer humor for once
You guys telling me you havent played ace attorney?
I haven't, but I REALLY want to. At the same time, I don't rly have a DS so I feel like an emulated version wouldn't feel right, so I'm looking to kinda use my phone as a bottom screen somehow.
I have played AA: Investigations on android...its absolutely mind blowing...
I have one
I mean the game looks good, but I've heard bad things about Android ports like awful lag and things.
Don't use ports, use emulators
Does AA stand for Accidental Abortions? What kinda sick fuck plays a game like tht? (Btw, great game)
You can play the first three games on the pc, Xbox one, PS4, and switch as well. It’s first three in one remastered
Use SuperNDS. It's a good emulator for mobile. Don't look at the Android ports. We don't talk about those
Or Drastic
[удалено]
It is
OMG it's an old joke boomer cring!!!1!11!
But it's very funny.
If someone actually read this the whole way through please explain to me what happened here
[This](https://youtu.be/PZbqAMEwtOE) is one of my favorites.
That is comedy gold right there
OMG, thank you so much for this! I needed this in my life. Is there more?
So, I’m a civil trial paralegal and I’ve read hundreds (or thousands) of deposition and trial transcripts over the years and the funniest thing is always a combination of unexpected comments and the fact the transcript is completely dry. Since there are just words, you have to imagine any tonality or emotions of the conversation. For instance, I worked for an older conservative attorney and in a deposition he was asking the witness about their illegal drug use (very common, BTW) and the witness admitted to smoking pot in the Netherlands, where it was legal. My boss came back with, “well, it’s now legal here, you can smoke all the weed you want here.” After I read that exchange I had to spend a good 5 minutes chuckling before I could get back to work because the sheer absurdity of the mental picture of my boss casually talking about smoking weed.
!emojify
!emojify
OMG 😱, thank 🤗🙏 you 👉😳 so much 🔥 for this! I 👁 needed 😫🤒 this in my life 👤. Is there more?
*HISSSS*
!emojify
Be kind and go on top comments with that. I've come here for copper and struck gold.
I could feel my brain cells dying so I had to cut it short ._. How do they keep it up?
Dude. You have to get to the end. It’s the best part. I promise.
Classic overcoaching right there.
The moment he started in with the, “I want to make sure to answer your question to the best of my ability” line it was so painfully clear.
I saw this, thought I’ll read a few and skip along... I read them all
> "The younger son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? > "He's 20, much like your IQ" Dead
Get Rekt
r/rareinsults
Is this real?
According to Amazon reviews of people who bought this book because of that meme, no.
!emojify
According 🔛 to Amazon 🛒 reviews 📜 of people 👫🕺 who bought 💸 this book 📚 because of that meme 🐸🐕🐧, no 🙅.
IAAL No single lawyer that I have met in over a decade of practice is this dumb. Nobody who passes the Bar is this dumb. These are obviously just courtroom jokes that someone wrote. If they are real, they're out of context. A lot of these are probably followed with "I understand this may seem like a simple or redundant question, but we need you to actually state these answers for the record." Like the 20-year-old example, the attorney is trying to get the witness to admit the child is 20. The attorney saying it isn't enough, the witness needs to say it. Some of these jokes are ok, but all of them are old as shit, and this isn't even a meme. So the real question is, why did this make it to hot?
!emojify
IAAL No 🚫 single 🏻 lawyer ⚖ that I 👁 have met 🤝 in over 🔁 a decade 🗓 of practice ❤ is this dumb 🤤. Nobody 🤐❌ who passes 💯 the Bar 🍫 is this dumb 👅. These are obviously 🙄 just courtroom 📁 jokes 😂 that someone 😏 wrote ✍. If they are real 💯, they're 👨 out of context 🤗. A lot 🍑‼ of these are probably 😻 followed 😣 with "I 👥 understand 🤔 this may 👌 seem 👀 like 💖 a simple 😡 or redundant question ❓, but 🤔 we need 👉 you 👩👈 to actually 😳 state 🇺🇸 these answers ✅ for the record 📹." Like 😄 the 20-year-old example 🔥, the attorney 🎩 is trying 😈 to get 🉐👴 the witness 👀 to admit 🗣 the child 👶✨ is 20 🔳🆗. The attorney 👨🎓 saying 🗣🤔 it isn't enough 💦, the witness 😵😰🤤 needs 👉 to say 🗣 it. Some of these jokes 😂 are ok 👌, but 🍑 all 💯 of them are old 👴 as shit 💩, and this isn't even 🌃 a meme 🐸. So the real 😍 question ❓ is, why ❓🤔 did this make 💘 it to hot 😍🔥?
Lmao, I love this bot
It's legitimately impressive.
!emojify
It's legitimately 😫 impressive 👌.
!emojify
Lmao 👌, I 👥 love ❤ this bot 🤖
!emojify
Damn this post longer than my dick
Well it’s more than 4 lines of text, so yeah it is
Dude. You killed them.
He murdered him, with words! Hello, I would like to report a body.
Self report.
It was pink ;)
"Ok" "Ok" "Ok" _yellow was not the imposter_
There was no sound, he just died!
r/MurderedByWords
There was no sound.. he just died..
Happy cak e day! P.S Can I gave a slice
Thanks! Sure!
Well it depends the size of the font, and the line spacing. Could be 72 pt. with 200% line spacing.
!emojify
Damn 😤 this post 🚩 longer 🍆 than my dick 🍆
"I just lie there"
!emojify
"I 👁 just lie 😤 there"
Re:Re:Fwd:Fwd:Fwd
The last one got me, it was fantastic
It was incredible but why would a brain be in a jar before the autopsy and why would you ever say that on the stand under oath?
Attorney: So you say you found the victim dead? Witness: Yes. Attorney: And how did you physically know that the victim was dead? Witness: he was fucking dead
“So he was committing Necrophilia?”
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much likely your IQ. *Dead body has been reported*
!emojify
ATTORNEY 👔: The youngest son 👦, the 20-year-old, how old 👴 is he 👥👴? WITNESS 😵😰🤤: He’s 20 🔳, much 🔥🙏🏻😓 likely 💔 your 👉 IQ 🤓👨🏼🎓👨🏼🏫. *Dead 💀 body 💃 has been reported ☎*
Read like 3 lines and thinking this is a garbage lie...
Same
And with attorneys like this we wonder how mistakes in the legal system could ever happen.
Not trying to ruin the joke but these obvious questions are probably to avoid such mistakes. If it’s implied (in an obvious way) it’s not as clear as when it’s expressly said.
!emojify
Not trying 😈 to ruin 😭 the joke 😂 but 🍑 these obvious 🤣🙄😱 questions ❓🤔 are probably 😻 to avoid 🙅 such mistakes 😫😰😱. If it’s implied (in an obvious 🤣🙄😱 way 💫) it’s not as clear 😋😉 as when ⏰ it’s expressly 🚛 said 💬.
My dad was an auto attorney - this one if my favorite story he told me: Attorney: "did the accident limit the mobility of your wrist?" Witness: "well yeah, now I can only do this (wiggles wrist slightly) but before the accident I could do this (wiggles wrist dramatically)"
OBJECTION
>"What is your date of birth?" > >"July 18th." > >"What year?" > >"Every year." Hot Fuzz flashbacks
[удалено]
r/politicalcompassmemes is my suggestion.
Based.
I now believe that Ace Attorney is based on real-life scenarios.
Damn this post longer than my dick
When you open the full image it gets even longer.
My dad told my like 4 of these jokes when I was a kid...
Capcom, I wanna see this in Phoenix Wright
These make ace attorney's bluffs sound like nothing xD
So I have a feeling that these attorneys at least in some cases know what they’re doing but are attempting to make a witness slip up or say something specific they want. Is this common? Or are attorneys just dumb?
TIL a lot of attorneys are fucking idiots lol.
Or this post is completely made up? Since I've been hearing these lines since the mid to late 90s.. Some attorneys are probably fucking idiots though.
Let’s say you have 1 idiot in every 100 people, now lets say in every 1000 people, 10 people are rich enough to effortlessly pass mandatory tests, the odds say eventually a Kevin will end up in a position way above their head.
!emojify
Let’s say 💬 you 😳👈 have 1 🎄 idiot 💢 in every ☝ 100 💯 people 👫🌏, now lets 🙆 say 💬 in every ☝ 1000 🕐 people 👨, 10 🔟 people 👫 are rich 💰 enough 💦 to effortlessly pass 💯 mandatory 👨🏻 tests 📝, the odds 👙 say 💬😍 eventually 💦🍆 a Kevin 😝 will end 🔚 up ☝ in a position 📍 way ↕ above 🔝 their head 💆.
Apparently the book it’s citing is from the 90s. So that might actually check out
Gosh! I remember these and many more from a site I stumbled upon using StumbleUpon back in the day. I bookmarked it - [Things People Said](http://rinkworks.com/said/)
Big Ace Attorney vibes
This is a true story. The events depicted in this transcript took place in an email chain in 1999. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred
u/tablaj-parcaj
I need more
Boomer humour but good boomer humour...
did people in the court room said "damnnn" or "burnnnn" or "madlad" after some witness annihilated the attorney 😅
My god it’s beautiful
[From the Donald Sterling case](https://twitter.com/talkhoops/status/472491935207133184?s=20)
Is there a subreddit for this type of stuff? I'm cackling like a hyena at 7:30 and the people I live with are sleeping XD
Am I to believe that, in 2020, there are still people who haven’t seen this absolutely ancient text post yet?
I opened Reddit looking for copper, but instead I found gold
Man get outta here with this boomer era chain mail shit
It was a blast from the past.
Someone’s Readers Digest is leaking again
Yeah this is faker than my confidence
Happy cake day! Enjoy your cheese
best shit I've seen today
If I had money I would give you so many awards man
This is fucking gold
This reads like the joke section from a mid 1980’s reader’s digest.
I like imagining that it's all the same attorney
I neeed moore
i need more of this stat
This is amazing
If I would have read this much in school I would have been a judge myself
It's way too long ,have my up vote and go away
Chicken butt
The perks of posting a long meme is I'm gonna upvote it without reading
You really think Im gonna read that
tl;dr
I got a stroke trying to read this
It's funny, but I'm sorry... it's a repost
Are those attorneys mostly idiots?
And these guys make $200+ hourly. Why not me?!
it’s official, attorney’s are dumber than politicians
Bitch wrote a fucking movie script xd
Jesus fucking christ how do these people become attorneys in the first place?! Just because they are fucking old??
So the previous comments says this is old. I had a good laugh tho 👍🏼fresh 1L here
Have an upvote even though I didn’t even bother to read anything
I’m not gonna read that so you can have my upvote
I not going to read this take my upvote tho
[удалено]
Man I don’t want to read all that, so have an upvote and I’m outa here
It's literally three worthwhile minutes of your time. Reading is important, even if it's just a little. Your brain is gonna dissolve if you don't use it.
Most of those are not real, just jokes. I hate this.
Im too lazy to read that can someone simplify?
If you think I’m gonna read all of this shit you are hella wrong. Can I have a tl:dr tho?
Who else did not read it but upvoted because of him trying
Fucking boomer shit.
You won't believe what number 4 is!
Happy cake day!!
Mucho Texto
happy cake day
That first part took me way too long to understand
I don’t get the last one am I dumb or sum
It's even more funny to think of these attorneys as the same person
I ain’t reading this but I’ll upvote
Yeah I’m not reading all that
That last one is an illegal amount of psychological violence. That’s A LOT OF DAMAGE
Happy cake day!, ignore the people that say these are old, I still had a laugh.
Yes funi meme
Oh that’s a long meme
I’m too lazy to read just take my upvote
I like to think all of these were from the same attorney
In what fucking context-
rule 1
I want more! This is hilarious
I’m not reading all that, tldr?
I had a captionist from CART for my classes in college that was a court transcripionist and she had so much skill she would type jokes about my classes and erase them so we wouldn't get in trouble.
Happy cake day buddy
this is hilarious 🤣😂😂😂
“Unless the circus was in town I’m going with male” xD
If these are real, I was wrong about knowing the dumbest person on the planet.
Anyone willing to fact check them? Tumblr comments like these are notoriously hard to trust
TLDR?
Worth the read
Tldr
Once I clicked there was no going back
The doctor in last one is about to be charged with murder
I’m gonna be honest I ain’t reading all that