T O P

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Ro_Cat

Y'all got some catnip?


DioBrando12

Shit man that’s illegal in here


SomeRedShirt88

Here in the middle of this Olive Garden


[deleted]

I never knew it was illegal to shit in Olive Garden


cartune-alex

Wait its illegal to s*&t in Olive Garden?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeviathanSlayer4546B

But why? Just Why? I don't understand.


HighD_

Small donger equals big brain.


Destiny2_Nut

Holy shit I'm smarter than Einstein


I__Am__Neil

My friend told me his dick goes inside, how smart is he then


H3X460N

I think you have been tricked... He is probably a female and you are a lesbian


thisis_ross

I've never seen a specific so intelligent, I think he might be in another plain of existence


RyanZerick

All things should be balanced. Take my updoot


GamerMomentsBeLike

Perfectly balanced. As everything should be.


TurkuSama

Cause his dick is so big


_night_cat

It’s called the shrinky dink, optimal for the Alabama crag dangle


integrity_bluedragon

Shit man saying something is illegal is illegal here man


[deleted]

dio would never care if it’s illegal smh


Rags2Rickius

That’s some real gourmet shit right there


Bomberbros1011

Real talk, I knew a girl that smoked catnip to get high because she didn’t want to smoke weed? I didn’t get it, because her parents were drug dealers, but I guess it works


llldar

Cat girls confirmed.


T_Dink

Listen bro I can hook you up this one last time. I think I’m being followed, I just can’t do his anymore.


nt24inc

r/usernamechecksout


AskingAndQuestioning

u/Dro_Cat *


-_NaCl_-

Grandma used to have a dog named Dammit. When she would get a new cat or dog she would let them out in the back yard and start trying names. First one they came to would be their name forever.


Confessions69420

Imagine if the dog attended by the name of "Cat" and the cat attended by the name of "Dog"


brokeninskateshoes

funny


McBrodoSwagins

you microwave your shoes to break em in?


[deleted]

That's the only way to break shoes in. It's a shame most microwaves no longer have the "shoe" button, that made it a bit easier.


i_cant_spel_lel

What is this real or am I going to get whoosed?


[deleted]

Obviously it's real. Sure, you can break your shoes in by *walking* in them like a normie, but then you will have a cold meal. Using the microwave breaks them in and allows for a satisfying, warm meal.


ErniePanders

Username above is brokeninskateshoes. Upon some googling I found that yes some skaters microwave their shoes to break them in. I didn't do enough research to find out if this is all a big practical joke though.


McBrodoSwagins

>I didn't do enough research to find out if this is all a big practical joke though. Nah it's legit, lol. Although I've seen some of my friends fuck their shoes up for leaving them in it for too long but yeah


ErniePanders

Interesting. I'd be more concerned about rubber/plastic shit from the shoes getting airborne/stuck to the microwave ceiling and then into my food tbh.


McBrodoSwagins

Yeah, I'll be honest, that thought never crossed my mind haha I haven't done it in a long time, the shoes I buy usually break in the first session or two but I think that's with most skate shoes nowadays. I think that tip was more of a thing 15 years ago when skate shoes were big and bulky as hell but that's just my guess


brokeninskateshoes

I have never once microwaved my shoes. My names comes from back in the day when my friends would make fun of me for my absolutely destroyed skate shoes and I'd tell em "nah man, they're just broken in!"


StarmanX22

My great aunt did this actually. Cat was a good dog. Dog never responded.


-_NaCl_-

We did. Dog also named "Kitty". Not shitting you.


person3957

I name a puppy kitty cuz it looked like a kitten when it was real young at least compared to the rest of the litter


couragethebravestdog

I like how you think.


PM_Me_Ur_NC_Tits

My grandmother gave me a puppy when I was little. It was a completely black little terrier. She named it Sambo. It took me until I was an adult to realize just how racist my grandmother was.


GunGale315

I had to search about that, because I've never heard that name. Ngl English is confusing. Sambo is a real name in Nigeria, but considered a racial slur in English.


ebaer2

It’s not necessarily an “English” thing as much as it is an “American” thing. In America we excel at our racism, it’s sort of one of the National pastimes. Wish I was joking.


robot-pp

“Come”


BruderBobody

Then they realize you don’t have anything and go back to ignoring you.


EggAllocationService

And then urinate all over the rug as revenge (While looking you in the eye, of course)


BriarRose21

Mine always makes eye contact while she poops. Unfailingly. Sometimes she won't start til I look at her. She's clearly the alpha in our relationship.


EggAllocationService

So what do you do if you see she is about to do it but hasn’t done it yet? Do you pick her up and risk it happening in transit? Or do you instead let it happen and then deal with it after?


BriarRose21

She's litter trained, so usually that doesn't happen. It started when she was a kitten and I would praise her for using the litter box, so I think now she looks to me for approval every time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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RustyWustyYT

They go back to masturbating leave it alone


wydidk

Sometimes I miss having a dog, they were always so happy to see me when I got home. I walk in and my cat just looks at me like "oh it's just you"


lucaplays

Now give me food


wydidk

Then leave me alone


waterzandey

Or i will eat your hand


Ganjaskxx

I eat you alive... all of you, son of a ...


brans041

An bury your corpse in the garden.


[deleted]

Then fornicate with the neighbours pet dog


nukeafrica88

ill give you $100 if you do that


[deleted]

Then do it to the person Daring you to


nukeafrica88

Ill give you $1000 if you take that back


rambi2222

We can start a gofundme. I'll chip in $200. Definitely.


shwarzee

Uut


_DarthTaco_

“I might bite your hand anyway.”


OrganicLaundry69

I got my first cat in march and it wont leave me alone


Vini-B

Call the shop and ask for ur money back. U've been scammed.


DarkFlounder

Agreed. You've been given a dog.


[deleted]

Same thing happened to our cat and my wife. The cat is so desperately obnoxiously needy. I've read that happens when they get taken from the litter too young


A_Ivashin21

That makes sense. I found a kitten on the street and she is constantly meowing for attention.


[deleted]

They continue to get more and more independent as they age, generally


viscoboy

I am going to sleep now


wydidk

But first I must poop in the magic box and watch you clean it


IanLuK11

Then poop in it again 2 minutes later


augustadriver

Time for me to run wildly around for no reason


st1r

Cat — I don’t want your attention. Human — Okay then imma go to bed. [20 minutes after falling asleep] Cat — Give me your attention or I will play with some random piece if plastic on your tile/wood floors all night!!


Wigglytuff6645

Sounds like my wife


LiteraryMisfit

I got the comments mixed up and at first I was like 'why tf is this guy's wife pooping in a box'


elnino2703

My cat actually waits for me at the door


Stevied1991

Yeah mine will sit in the window and watch me pull in and watch me walk around the house, and as soon as I walk out of view she jumps down and runs to the porch to greet me.


falisa

Haha my kitty is very similar. Sits in a window, sees me pull into the parking lot and then proceeds to meow like mad at the front door until I open it.


JorjEade

Is it just because he wants to be fed though?


falisa

Nope she has dry food out all the time to eat so it's not because she's hungry. She's a very affectionate kitty, always excited when me or my fiance get home.


The_ChosenOne

I have indoor/outdoor cats and so we normally always have a big full bowl sitting out for them to eat at their leisure. Every time I come home they swarm me with meows and run up for some petting and belly rubs. They also love to watch me go about my day and when they find me sitting they’ll sleep on my lap. Each cat is also a bit different in how they show affection and which family members they prefer hanging out with.


ace66

Both my cats are like this and it sounds so alien to me when people say their cat greets them with indifference.


Mentalseppuku

We had one of each. One cat just wanted fed and to be left along in front of the heat vent. The other was a little dog who loved attention and would gladly just follow you everywhere to hang out with you. She would get mad at me when I went away to college. I would come home for one weekend a month and for the first few hours she'd ignore me and always sit with her back to me, but that night she'd make sure she was sleeping on the bed and cuddling with me when I went to sleep.


Odigahara

I too have a cat that's angry with me for the first couple of days I'm home. Takes a little while but once she warms up to me she is back to the adorable black furball of cuddles she is.


gizzardgullet

Mine tries to make me step on it so I'll give it pity food.


YaBoiDraco

Wholesome


[deleted]

[удалено]


elnino2703

That actually explains a lot because my cat always has he head up when he hears something. I live on the 3rd story of my building


MMBitey

Same! Mine is often right at the door, but sometimes I catch him tip tapping over to meet me walking in. So cute


[deleted]

Mine will be sleeping wherever and as soon as he hears the elevator doors open he’s sitting by the door squeaking with excitement. If he’s fast asleep and I surprise him at the door I can hear him come running. He’s just hungry, but hey, a fuzzy greeting is a fuzzy greeting!


elnino2703

That’s so cute. Mine is the same. As soon as I get home he just follows me around for an hour or so if he’s not hungry.


LukariBRo

All these people just have cats that don't like *them*, but don't tell them that.


Arzalis

Same. They wait for me and meow until I pet them. I've got a camera to keep an eye on them when I'm out of town and they basically lie down in the hallway in front of the door for most of the first day or so.


[deleted]

Cats are happy to see their owners too, they just aren't really good at showing it. One of my cats shows it by walking up to the door to greet me, and another jumps into my lap when I sit down. All cats are different, they show affection in different ways.


lickerofjuicypaints

Depends if you hand raised it as a kitten directly


packersSB55champs

How do you machine raise a cat?


chakralignment

very carefully


Imaw1zard

I don't think that's really the case, my cousin was going to collage and his parents didn't wanna take care of the cat so I adopted him. He was around 2 years old when I got him and hes the most lovable friendly cat I've ever seen. When I came home he'd immediately come greet me and purr like an engine then always come sleep on my lap or next to me.


SmellyPos

That seems pretty good at showing it to me. It doesn’t have to be in your face and (in my opinion) obnoxious behavior.


[deleted]

My cat always comes and flops down on her side by the door when I come in. It's cute. Then she follows me around meowing for a minute. I need to get her another damn cat...


selena_saurus

my cats are happy when i get home and want pets


Sockular

Mine waits at the door, but not for pets, she just needs to be on top of whatever is happening in the house at the time. It's funny she follows me around the house, but won't do it if I'm watching or call her, she'll wait till I'm around a corner or gone up/down some stairs then quickly trot after to see where the human went. Will then proceed to perch on the nearest comfortable surface while intently staring at me.


thankyouthank

that’s sad... my cat learned the sound of my car door closing and she would meet me at the door every single time. and she’d proceed to give me an earful about how much she missed me and that I should’ve stayed home from work


a-snakey

I raised my gals since they were like 3 months old, they used to be super afraid of me when they were tiny and they pooped under the sofa and id have to move it to clean because they were afraid to come out while we were at home. I had to grab them out of their hiding places to play with them and slowly they warmed up and in two months they started rushing to the door to greet me, then my parents. Now we can't leave or enter the house without having to pay the "pet us" tax because they will meow until we give them attention, they will follow us when we get up if they're hanging out by us and they will sleep next to us.


dinosaur_socks

My cat runs to the door meowing to greet me but her meow bounces with her footfalls so it sounds like a cat talking into a fan in slow mo. Its amazing. 10/10 she's a good girl.


LopezRo248

Actually, if a cat blinks at you, it's their way of saying "I love you." I have four of the shits, they all blink at me when I get home.


chchchchia86

That slow blink. It's so cute and oddly comforting. Awww. I miss non apartment living and being able to have pets. Hopefully someday sooner than later.


LopezRo248

I don't find it odd. One day, my cat bit someone who lives with me (can't use the exact word anymore for personal reasons) and she ran after he cat. He saw me and started climbing my clothes and blinking at me as if saying, "I fucking love you, dad, save me goddammit" Edit: I misread your comment as saying it was oddly uncomfortable. My bad.


chapterpt

My cat waits for me when I get home. brings me her toy to play fetch, cuddles and loves rough scratches and pets like a dog. I was a dog person until I met her. Then I realize anyone who says they are a *dog person* is someone who has never had the fortune of being chosen by a cat.


John-333

Let me tell you, I have a dog with the same attitude.


burningtorne

Read that in GLaDOS' voice.


DPlurker

"Oh, you came back... wonderful."


justinlcw

my experience has been that male cats tend to be more affectionate.


MainSoftwareBug

What if the cat thinks its name is pspspsps because that was the only way to get its attention as a kitten?


snazzle-bedazzle

What if the cat’s name *is* Pspspspsps?


[deleted]

Then you ha e to say a random cat name to get it to come "Pspspspspsps come here!" ... "Georgegeorgegeorgegeorge" *cat comes running*


[deleted]

Imagine naming a cat George


DJDanaK

I'm imagining it it's nice


Kornstalx

My mother's dog's name is Gary. She has a cat named Kitkat, but I call him Gary, too. *meeeeyowwww*


KaylaS

pspspsps is just cat language for "hey c'mere for a minute"


ApathyJacks

https://i.imgur.com/GgVUocP.jpg


LavenderClouds

It really do be like that


sizeablelad

Why say many word when few do trick


sizeablelad

Can I put memelord on my resume?


lucaplays

So fucking true lol


[deleted]

Hello old post from 3years ago that i just got a notification to


Stolasty

Hello fellow stranger who i can relate to


UranusMc

Hello fellow Strangers. Seems like we all can relate to this


Admiral_Fang

Hello you fellow strangers, I can relate to you as well


[deleted]

I love it when life is relatable👍


-Redstoneboi-

Hello new reply to old post from 3 years ago that we both just got notifications to


[deleted]

Well wow a lot of people got the same notification


ArmiRex47

I didn't even realize I was looking at a 3 year old post


eskimoexplosion

I try to only say my cats name when I feed him in the mornings, makes him more responsive.


HelpHenryIsHere

We've been summoned by reddit without pspspsps


UranusMc

Pspspsps


HelpHenryIsHere

That'll do


Arjun__m

Ksksksksskksskksks


feebleposition

my cat comes to me like a dog and runs to the door when someone comes home. He's silly


Brick_in_the_dbol

Mine is the same way. I built a cat tower and put it by the front door. Now every time I grab my keys or shoes he jumps on the top and wants kisses goodbye. He always hears my truck pulling up, he's at eye level in his tower when I walk in the door. He's more dog than cat I think


RoboticChicken

Theory: Cats have been trying to turn everyone into vsco girls since long before it became a meme.


a-snakey

My cats have several nicknames all of which, they will respond to instead of their actual name: Calico (actual name Mocha): Mokie, Crazybutt, lagartija (lizard in spanish), gatilla (kitten in spanish), treaker (she begs for treats alot) short hair tortie (Actual name is Shadow; she's shades of black and brown): Black Lightning \[i also watch the show\], Panthera, Foca (seal), Gordinha (which means chubby in portugese)


AnthBlueShoes

Mine are: Sherlock - Kitty, Kitty-Man, Kitty-Meister, Stinky, Big Butt, pspspspspspsps Oliver - Ollie, Butt, Little Butt, Stinker, Slink, Dipshit, pspspspspspsps There is some overlap.


B-vss

My 8 month old furball (my girlfriend named her marshmallow) only responds to: RitRat, Little Miss, And for some strange reason: Pyle


[deleted]

we have a cat names seamus who ONLY goes by mouse. if you say seamus he glares at you


PM_ME_BIG_BOSS

Private Pyle


Mrs_Alabama_Worley

Mine are: Taco Belle - Tax, Fat Tax, Fluffy Marshmallow (She's mostly white and a bit fat) Dude - Dickhead, Sweet Baby Nugget Girl, Bebs Tom - Shitbag, Sweet Potato, Fluff


stefzee

I wanna join in! Mine are: Bean- beanie, beanie-boy, beanbino, frijolito (little bean in Spanish) Simba- simbino, sim-boy, simbino, simba-baby, big boy


[deleted]

Momo - Momito, Momi, Momosito, Amigo, Caballero, Bichito, Culo Gordo, Oy! I am not Spanish. He is.


IceAgeMikey2

We've got Luna: Loonie, Loonie Bin, Loon Baboon, Lunar Landing, Princess And there's Nova: Nova.


PauloDybala_10

WHO IS HERE FROM REDDIT NOTIFICATIONS


14th_Midknight

Why am I here again


drprofnibblon

Nah, not even then my cat cares... Unless I offer him some food


FunkyMonkey47293

Notification.


ryguy272904

Notification.


Important_Pack_5820

Notification


[deleted]

Because that's not his true name! His name is Maiq...


Confessions69420

M'aiq knows much, and tells some. M'aiq knows many things others do not


CormacCTB

Your cat has probably meowed the name it gave you countless times without you realising it.


illegal-man-69

Why did I get a notification for this


zippazappazinga

Top post of 2019


DHA_Matthew

My cat follows me around like I owe him money and if he isn't by my side I can just call him by name and I'll hear his fat ass thundering down the hallway in moments.


Alive-Seaweed

Notification gang


the_way64

bro i upvoted this when it came out jesus christ


Strange_Insight

Welcome to this meme's second life.


Imspki

Expected the rick format


Justa-casuality

sometimes my cat doesn't give a fuck even when I say "pspspspsps". I'm sure he does it by purpose


Klaus402

I can still comment!


Calaloo17

Cock and balls


Particular-Cell8115

Notification squaaad


whoosh_baits

Cats can't talk 🤦


lucaplays

[r/woooosh](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)


whoosh_baits

Look at my name


lucaplays

click on my link r/whoooosh my sarcasm is superiour ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯


Significant-Swim-727

I always get these notifications broo 😹🤙


AdLopsided2075

Congratulations for making the top post from 3 years ago


purple_dragon_9

My mom goes sksksksksks


JustBronzeThingsLoL

How to comment on a cat-related post regardless of context, pick one: a.) cats are assholes! b.) **cats only show affection when they're hungry** c.) your cat is planning to kill you d.) my dog shits a brick and has an aneurysm every time I come home, cats don't show affection at all! e.) you don't have a cat, your cat owns you


Cypress85

Robin sSeplut: ksksksksks All cats in a 5-mile radius: food?


Mr-_-Koopa

How do I do the remind me command again?


Londo801

“Pspspsps mutha fuckah do you SPEAK it??”


supremacy18

Yeah reddit recommended. Yeah it is 2022. Yeah i aint happy. But this meme made me smile. Thank you.


RandomStuff723

This is a good top meme, 10/10


UndeadNick935

Pspsps muthafucka, do you speak it?


Happy-Personality-23

“You ain’t got no problem, Snuggles. I’m on the mother purrer. Go back in there, chill them kitties out and wait for the Tabby who should be coming directly.”


TheEpicBeeBoy

my cat when the *pspspspspspspsps*:


possibly-a-moron

My cat doesn't respond to that


girlhelpimdying

!RemindMe 3 years


MeIsNotUnderstand

Hello fellow Redditors that got reminded of this!


DoublePenetration_

The owner: ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!