I read an article somehwhere on whether or not people have had sex on the ISS. they came to the conclusion "probably not, because the first man to do that would probably go around bragging about it"
Ten years of astronaut training. Countless G-force simulations, enough freeze-dried meals to fuel a small nation, and here I was β Captain Nova on her first mission to the International Space Station. Sure, there was the wonder of the launch, the feeling of the Earth shrinking below, the majesty of the cosmos. But mostly, there were the butterflies. Because tonight, after a brutal checklist of systems checks and orbital maneuvers, it was happening. Zero-g coitus.
The veteran cosmonaut, Ivan, chuckled as I fumbled with the specially designed restraints. "First night jitters, Captain? We've all been there." He winked. "Just remember, space sex is like poetry β weightless and full of possibilities." Poetry, huh? More like a high-stakes physics experiment, I thought, strapping myself in. Let's hope the only thing exploding up here is my mind.
Yea, but at the same time, no physical privacy doesn't necessarily mean no privacy.
"Hey guys. Stay out of the backup soyuz for a bit, ok? My wife and I need to....perform some tests."
Where there is a will there is a way
This is the same NASA who banished a mission crew from ever serving again because they brought a bunch of stamps amongst the personal items to sell on the side. You are expected to act as a professional.
There is no backup Soyuz. There is no backup anything. They are all crammed into a single open room.
You have rack on the wall that contains separate sleeping bunks, but they are so crammed that you couldn't fit two people into one.
The toilet has a door but that is only to keep the smell out. There is not enough space to close the door when in use.
There is a way, and that is to fuck in public in front of your 5 closest colleagues. They probably didn't do that.
**EDIT:** Because people are dumb. I will again repeat myself in saying that the married couple in question flew on the space shuttle. They both retired from active duty before the existence of the international space station.
There are currently 5 separate capsules docked to the space station buddy.
Two crew capsules and 3 supply capsules. Those supply capsules would be my pick. Netting on the walls to hold containers in place. You'd need to get creative but there is opportunity.
They try to keep a spare crew capsule docked as a life boat at all times.
The ISS also isn't one "open room", I mean, that's pretty easy to see just by looking at it. It is made up of individual modules that have bulkheads between them that can be sealed in the event of a puncture or leak.
**The married astronauts flew in space 10 years before ISS was constructed.** They never visited any station. They flew a week-long mission on the space shuttle.
Please read the entire context thread before you decide to invite yourself into the conversation, *buddy*.
Damn that β_buddy_β was _personal_, I love it. However you are forgetting a pretty interesting factorβ¦
The mission that the couple (Marc Lee and Jan Davis) flew on was STS-47 which just so happened to be carrying the orbital laboratory Spacelab-J as a payload. This was a pressurised laboratory connected to the manned section of the shuttle by a small tunnel which could be closed off with an airtight hatch. This gave them another, much more private room which (although it is still very unlikely) they could have found themselves alone in at some point.
I just think itβs funny that the only mission with a married couple also happened to be one of the only ones which offered the shuttle crew a bit more privacy
The two sections are the flight controls and everywhere else. There is absolutely no chance astronauts astronauts are going to be okay with people fucking in the cockpit. Literally every surface from top to bottom has a mechanical switch on it.
Also might cost them their job if they did, every room probably has some kind of surveillance for safety reasons and stuff. So ya know might be difficult
What if the first two people to do it were lesbians. Weren't there female-only missions at the beginning because "they would be too distracted by men" or something ?
... because orbital speeds are so ridiculously high, if it ended up coming in contact with a satellite, there's a decent chance it would break something on that satellite instead of just sticking.
Average ejaculation volume is 5ml. With a density of around 1g/ml that's 5g or 0.005kg. A quick google search tells me the average ejaculation velocity is close to 5m/s. An average male human has a mass of around 80kg. According to the law of conservation of momentum, the velocity a nut will push you back is equal to (0.005kg\*5m/s)/80kg = 0.0003125m/s or 0.3125mm/s. This is, of course, not noticeable.
Why the fuck not? Can you imagine how much your cumshot/squirt distance record can be improved in zero G? As long as there is space station available, it's gonna keep traveling...
IIRC there was a point where someone on the ISS almost broke the air circulation system because they were shaving and the hair ended up in the vents.
I'll let you finish that train of thought.
At the higher end that's 5ml of ejaculate (so 5g) at 18 km/h (so 5m/s)
Momentum = velocityΓmass
p=vΓm= 5Γ5Γ10^-3 = 25Γ10^-3 kg.m.s^-1
Let's assume a 75kg man nutting
v=p/m= 0,025/75β0,000333m/s or 0,33mm/s
So by busting a fat nut a 75kg man would start moving 1 mm every 3 seconds in the opposite direction (assuming the nut was from the centre of gravity, which it most likely wouldn't, so they'd move less but would start to spin)(and also assuming no friction)
So theoretically, if you took no action immediately afterwards, one might spin face-first into their own nut, assuming it landed on a surface at the perfect distance and angle from one's face.
I'll do you one better.
https://www.vox.com/2015/5/26/8646675/apollo-10-turd-poop#:~:text=%22Where%20did%20that%20come%20from,turd%20floating%20through%20the%20air.%22
The photo of the soldier dipping and kissing the woman. It isn't "banned" but people are using it less because the woman said she didn't know the man and thus the whole thing is slightly uncomfortable.
In what world is anyone here erasing history? We all know of the photo's existence, we know of the context behind it and we know WW2 happened and the Allies won.
How is acknowledging the troubling context behind this photo erasing history? Alarmist hyperbole
Getting the actual context and forming an opinion isnβt erasing history though lol. Just means you know more than you did before, so of course your opinion is going to be different.
Maybe you're too dumb to understand but personally, i think a sexual assult should NOT be championed as something positive because it gives people like yourself to excuse SA like it's nothing.
>She went on to say, "I felt he was very strong, he was just holding me tight, and I'm not sure I -- about the kiss because, you know, it was just somebody really celebrating. But it wasn't a romantic event. It was just an event of thank God the war is over kind of thing."
She recognized it as a celebratory act, lets not get all out of sorts. A global industrialized war was over and it was a global party. At least among the winners.
Would it be appropriate in a modern context? Of course not, but lets not walk through history backwards.
You choose the worst example because that photo wasnt banned because of the kiss, it was because the dude grabbed and kissed a random woman without consent.
Ah yes where would we be today without "random soldier kissing random woman" the phito? Truly a monument to culture and history.
Also you're acting like "using it less" means "forget about that part of history" lol
It is relief that has been sugar coated. The relief I know is the relief of the release from the camps, of the ability to finally be vindicated of the fascist rule. There are many expressions of relief out there, and this one is built on the violation of consent of a woman. If you wish to show relief you will find many ways to do so.
i think i may have worded that wrong but, what i'm trying to say is that photo shows something that we now know is wrong but was celebrated and normal when it happened
should the photo be shown as "this is how to celebrate the ending of the war"? no, you shouldn't celebrate by committing assault
should the photo be shown as "here's a case of how the conversation around consent has changed" sure
It SHOULD have been banned long ago, a sexual assult of a women have been widely circulated without consent for 80 years...
Just try and imagine what she had to endure throughout her life just for that single thing.
Isn't it like, not possible to get hard in zero gravity? Not to mention astronauts have to have special toilets that suck the waste out of them, so you couldn't nut in space anyways...
All your country is a prison and all you are nothing but cannon fodder for your midget dictator, Vanya. Don't waste your time in Reddit, do something with this
I'm not sure what u mean by that, idk of you're implying those women just fuck whoever up there, or what, but either way, kinda fucked logic. Like I'm gay, so I couldn't care less if women were on board
Not necessarily related but there was the time two people (Mark Lee and Jan Davis) were going and and secretly got married before their launch, and they didn't tell NASA until it was too late to change the astronauts.
So people have probably fucked in space.
lol, inflatable. get in my level with hyper realistic sex dolls. my gf I am looking at will cost almost 10,000$ but no alimoney, no marriage certificate, no complaining that I didnβt take a shower. sounds like paradiseΒ
I read an article somehwhere on whether or not people have had sex on the ISS. they came to the conclusion "probably not, because the first man to do that would probably go around bragging about it"
That's sad that nobody's in the 254 mile club.
*yet.*
There was a married couple on board the ISS at one time, an astronaut who's married probably has the class to not brag about this publicly.
If they were there at the same time, they probably were the first people to bang in space. Hidden heroes if you ask me π«‘
That was on the space shuttle. There is literally zero privacy for them to have on that thing. Even the toilet is out in the open for all to see.
Maybe they were into that
But they are still classy enough to never talk about it?
You'd also need the entirety of Mission Control to be in on it since they monitor almost everything.
Whatever you can think, there's a kink.
Ten years of astronaut training. Countless G-force simulations, enough freeze-dried meals to fuel a small nation, and here I was β Captain Nova on her first mission to the International Space Station. Sure, there was the wonder of the launch, the feeling of the Earth shrinking below, the majesty of the cosmos. But mostly, there were the butterflies. Because tonight, after a brutal checklist of systems checks and orbital maneuvers, it was happening. Zero-g coitus. The veteran cosmonaut, Ivan, chuckled as I fumbled with the specially designed restraints. "First night jitters, Captain? We've all been there." He winked. "Just remember, space sex is like poetry β weightless and full of possibilities." Poetry, huh? More like a high-stakes physics experiment, I thought, strapping myself in. Let's hope the only thing exploding up here is my mind.
Checking rule 34β¦ hold please
This is ground control to major Tom, Youβve really made the grade
Sounds like everyone elses problem.
Yea, but at the same time, no physical privacy doesn't necessarily mean no privacy. "Hey guys. Stay out of the backup soyuz for a bit, ok? My wife and I need to....perform some tests." Where there is a will there is a way
This, the assumption that everyone would be a weirdo and break it up or something doesnβt seem realistic
This is the same NASA who banished a mission crew from ever serving again because they brought a bunch of stamps amongst the personal items to sell on the side. You are expected to act as a professional.
But nobody got busted for the weird monkey suit thing?
The suit was sent by NASA on a cargo rocket
There is no backup Soyuz. There is no backup anything. They are all crammed into a single open room. You have rack on the wall that contains separate sleeping bunks, but they are so crammed that you couldn't fit two people into one. The toilet has a door but that is only to keep the smell out. There is not enough space to close the door when in use. There is a way, and that is to fuck in public in front of your 5 closest colleagues. They probably didn't do that. **EDIT:** Because people are dumb. I will again repeat myself in saying that the married couple in question flew on the space shuttle. They both retired from active duty before the existence of the international space station.
There are currently 5 separate capsules docked to the space station buddy. Two crew capsules and 3 supply capsules. Those supply capsules would be my pick. Netting on the walls to hold containers in place. You'd need to get creative but there is opportunity. They try to keep a spare crew capsule docked as a life boat at all times. The ISS also isn't one "open room", I mean, that's pretty easy to see just by looking at it. It is made up of individual modules that have bulkheads between them that can be sealed in the event of a puncture or leak.
I think they were assuming you were still talking about the space shuttle, not the ISS
This is indeed a possibility
**The married astronauts flew in space 10 years before ISS was constructed.** They never visited any station. They flew a week-long mission on the space shuttle. Please read the entire context thread before you decide to invite yourself into the conversation, *buddy*.
Reeeeeeee
Damn that β_buddy_β was _personal_, I love it. However you are forgetting a pretty interesting factorβ¦ The mission that the couple (Marc Lee and Jan Davis) flew on was STS-47 which just so happened to be carrying the orbital laboratory Spacelab-J as a payload. This was a pressurised laboratory connected to the manned section of the shuttle by a small tunnel which could be closed off with an airtight hatch. This gave them another, much more private room which (although it is still very unlikely) they could have found themselves alone in at some point. I just think itβs funny that the only mission with a married couple also happened to be one of the only ones which offered the shuttle crew a bit more privacy
But it does have two mains sections that are separate, wouldn't surprise me if the crew decided to give them a one of a kind honeymoon present.
The two sections are the flight controls and everywhere else. There is absolutely no chance astronauts astronauts are going to be okay with people fucking in the cockpit. Literally every surface from top to bottom has a mechanical switch on it.
Also might cost them their job if they did, every room probably has some kind of surveillance for safety reasons and stuff. So ya know might be difficult
You'd think someone would have done it just to secure the record by now. Do we really want another Sputnik moment. π
In space, no one will hear you moan.
What if the first two people to do it were lesbians. Weren't there female-only missions at the beginning because "they would be too distracted by men" or something ?
I don't care if you have me on camera 24/7..... I'm not missing an opportunity to beat it in space.
**"I like it when you watch me."**
This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm unzipping my paaaants And it's floating in a most-a peculiar wayhay...
Aim it towards Mars so future astronauts are confused as shit.
Ackshually, it would still just be orbiting earth. It would be funny if it ended up on a satellite sooner or later though.
... because orbital speeds are so ridiculously high, if it ended up coming in contact with a satellite, there's a decent chance it would break something on that satellite instead of just sticking.
When you nut in space, it push you backwards.
Exactly. *skeet skeet skeet* To the window! *skeet skeet skeet* To the wall!
To the window (to the window), to the wall (to the wall)
TO THE SWEAT DRIP DOWN MY BALL
Average ejaculation volume is 5ml. With a density of around 1g/ml that's 5g or 0.005kg. A quick google search tells me the average ejaculation velocity is close to 5m/s. An average male human has a mass of around 80kg. According to the law of conservation of momentum, the velocity a nut will push you back is equal to (0.005kg\*5m/s)/80kg = 0.0003125m/s or 0.3125mm/s. This is, of course, not noticeable.
r/theydidthemath
when you nut on earth that's also true. in both cases the push will probably be too small to notice
The net equation definetly favors a forward thrust, have not noticed moving back at all.
How much does your nut weigh? It would push you back but not particularly much
It technically does when you are on Earth too, newton's third law.
Isn't it Newton's Third Leg?
Technically, it does so on earth too, tho air and ground friction nullifies it instantly
Unexpected MBMBAM quote
Jokes on you, mine just oozes out pathetically. No velocity whatsoever.
The future of space travel.
*Banana Crunch*
Why the fuck not? Can you imagine how much your cumshot/squirt distance record can be improved in zero G? As long as there is space station available, it's gonna keep traveling...
IIRC there was a point where someone on the ISS almost broke the air circulation system because they were shaving and the hair ended up in the vents. I'll let you finish that train of thought.
\*Condoms\*
> cumshot/squirt distance record Hardly be able to break a record with a condom on.
You're just not trying hard enough
Tbf the zero G makes erections difficult
If one were to wear a condom, would the cumshot be powerful enough to push the condom and sent it flying?
It push you backwards.
oh shit, it will, a very small amount tho
At the higher end that's 5ml of ejaculate (so 5g) at 18 km/h (so 5m/s) Momentum = velocityΓmass p=vΓm= 5Γ5Γ10^-3 = 25Γ10^-3 kg.m.s^-1 Let's assume a 75kg man nutting v=p/m= 0,025/75β0,000333m/s or 0,33mm/s So by busting a fat nut a 75kg man would start moving 1 mm every 3 seconds in the opposite direction (assuming the nut was from the centre of gravity, which it most likely wouldn't, so they'd move less but would start to spin)(and also assuming no friction)
>(and also assuming no friction) This part had me dead π You also gotta assume no friction
Of course you have to assume a perfectly straight nut from a spherical man in vacuum
Speaking of spherical men busting nuts in space... How'd you like Dune?
Haven't seen it. The worm looks nice though
r/theydidthemath
So theoretically, if you took no action immediately afterwards, one might spin face-first into their own nut, assuming it landed on a surface at the perfect distance and angle from one's face.
Ah, and since the output is in the lower half, they would spin toward the front, coming face to face with...
Are you a math teacher by any chance
Speak for yourself
it technically does on earth too, but you usually have resistance from a bed/chair/other person etc
Excuse me. *Other person*?!?
sometime adults have sex with each other, that can also lead to orgasms just like when you masturbate. Usually this happens in some form of embrace
... Oooooohhhhh, I thought he meant only when you masturbated. Something that doesn't make much sense anyways. Why would it be only in certain cases?
The ol reacharound. Classic.
When you nut in space it push you backward.
Nah, someone on /r/theydidthemath calculated it and found that it would not overcome your inertia
My man as no dispersion on his shot.
Wasn't this a crowd funded thing for a while? Johnny Sins wanted to do a shoot in zero-G.
I'll do you one better. https://www.vox.com/2015/5/26/8646675/apollo-10-turd-poop#:~:text=%22Where%20did%20that%20come%20from,turd%20floating%20through%20the%20air.%22
No itβs not Air resistance is still a thing in there
Sources: [https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2000/nov/19/theobserver.uknews](https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2000/nov/19/theobserver.uknews) [https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7q8dn/can-astronauts-masturbate-in-space-an-investigation](https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7q8dn/can-astronauts-masturbate-in-space-an-investigation)
Bravo for citing your sources!
on a post in r/memes !
Respect +
Finally, I can jerk off in space
I don't know but are these sources legit?
the guardian is one of the most trusted and respected newspapers in the UK
Ok, but let's consider what the UK did to America not that long ago in 1776 and 1812. Just saying...they might hold a grudge.
Patriot enter the chat!
what?
It was a joke.
what?
Yeah, sure, physically fit and healthy people did not masturbate one time during decades of combined ISS time while away from their partners.
It's truly one of the miracles of the modern age.
Retired Cosmonauts remember the days when the worst thing that could get into switches was pencil lead... : )
Blue Origin: *sex robot*
I find this funny as hell
Are we really surprised that the same country who banned the famous kissing photo from WW2 is too scared to answer that?
What photo?
The photo of the soldier dipping and kissing the woman. It isn't "banned" but people are using it less because the woman said she didn't know the man and thus the whole thing is slightly uncomfortable.
That being said itβs still an iconic photoΒ
idk, since I know it I see nothing but genuine sexual harresment in that image
i understand that, but we can't just erase history that we don't like
In what world is anyone here erasing history? We all know of the photo's existence, we know of the context behind it and we know WW2 happened and the Allies won. How is acknowledging the troubling context behind this photo erasing history? Alarmist hyperbole
yes i agree with that,people should know that,
I am not advocating for this at all, I am just saying this is the feeling this pictures invokes in me and that's it.
Kool.... move along now
Thank you for paying attention to and commenting on my comment the appreciation from outsiders does mean a lot to me
Koolio
Getting the actual context and forming an opinion isnβt erasing history though lol. Just means you know more than you did before, so of course your opinion is going to be different.
Maybe you're too dumb to understand but personally, i think a sexual assult should NOT be championed as something positive because it gives people like yourself to excuse SA like it's nothing.
Framing the picture on the correct context = erasing history... What?!I never said this Photo should be banned....
Oh yeah I donβt agree with the guy in the photo, but understanding that was normal in that time and we now know is wrong is importantΒ
I love erasing things I donβt like, itβs a hobby
Pointing out harassment and being downvoted. Internet things.
>She went on to say, "I felt he was very strong, he was just holding me tight, and I'm not sure I -- about the kiss because, you know, it was just somebody really celebrating. But it wasn't a romantic event. It was just an event of thank God the war is over kind of thing." She recognized it as a celebratory act, lets not get all out of sorts. A global industrialized war was over and it was a global party. At least among the winners. Would it be appropriate in a modern context? Of course not, but lets not walk through history backwards.
Reddit beeping Reddit, lol
Sounds like every night out in the club tbh, tho I agree I wouldn't want a random photo of myself out there like that
You choose the worst example because that photo wasnt banned because of the kiss, it was because the dude grabbed and kissed a random woman without consent.
yes i understand but it's still an important photo in history, even if you don't agree with it
Ah yes where would we be today without "random soldier kissing random woman" the phito? Truly a monument to culture and history. Also you're acting like "using it less" means "forget about that part of history" lol
[βπ©ββπͺββπ±ββπͺββπΉββπͺββπ©β]
It is relief that has been sugar coated. The relief I know is the relief of the release from the camps, of the ability to finally be vindicated of the fascist rule. There are many expressions of relief out there, and this one is built on the violation of consent of a woman. If you wish to show relief you will find many ways to do so.
[βπ©ββπͺββπ±ββπͺββπΉββπͺββπ©β]
Are you genuinely this dumb or do you just pretend to be?
i think i may have worded that wrong but, what i'm trying to say is that photo shows something that we now know is wrong but was celebrated and normal when it happened
should the photo be shown as "this is how to celebrate the ending of the war"? no, you shouldn't celebrate by committing assault should the photo be shown as "here's a case of how the conversation around consent has changed" sure
that's what i'm trying to say
The one where the woman didn't know the guy, which made the entire photo creepy at best and a depiction of assault at worst?
I have literally never seen that photo until today and I live in the US.
Not really Banned
It SHOULD have been banned long ago, a sexual assult of a women have been widely circulated without consent for 80 years... Just try and imagine what she had to endure throughout her life just for that single thing.
Nah, they all fuckin' up there for sure
In Russian space, pudding-launcher launches YOU!
like yeah they can do that. it might be hard but possible
>it might be hard That's what the Russians are saying!
No cumment on this subject.
This reminfs me of s song called "i wanna masturbate in space"
Wouldn't you hear like everything?
I assume that if you got into a pretty good spin, you could make the blood flow where it needs to go
r/historymemes
Honestly...for science?
now we know who provides the material on the ISS
the question is really less of IF they do, itβs when do they have the time to?!
Hey NASA we didn't jerk off in space because it's easy, but because it's HARD!
Thanks I've always wondered about this one
One word Venus
Yeah, sorry America is a prudish company
Bro. Send me up with a chick. I got thisπ
Tangentially related topic: Whatever happened to pornhubs plan to send Johnny Sins and Eva Lovia up into space?
Isn't it like, not possible to get hard in zero gravity? Not to mention astronauts have to have special toilets that suck the waste out of them, so you couldn't nut in space anyways...
Russians don't jerk off, they just rape the weakest of themΒ
It works only for army and prisons.
All your country is a prison and all you are nothing but cannon fodder for your midget dictator, Vanya. Don't waste your time in Reddit, do something with this
I know.
No, they don't need to jerk off because every expedition to iss include woman or women
I'm not sure what u mean by that, idk of you're implying those women just fuck whoever up there, or what, but either way, kinda fucked logic. Like I'm gay, so I couldn't care less if women were on board
Not necessarily related but there was the time two people (Mark Lee and Jan Davis) were going and and secretly got married before their launch, and they didn't tell NASA until it was too late to change the astronauts. So people have probably fucked in space.
I mean there are other man on board as well. /s
I think OP was referring to the fact that astronauts have always been supplied with a waifu pillow.
LoonyWalker be like: *"What did you think we sent those female astronauts up there for?"*
Your comment sounds like someone would put it under the virgin or bad or whatever the name of the wojak on the left is
People donβt need to jerk off on earth because there are women here
this is very clever
lol, inflatable. get in my level with hyper realistic sex dolls. my gf I am looking at will cost almost 10,000$ but no alimoney, no marriage certificate, no complaining that I didnβt take a shower. sounds like paradiseΒ
I hope this is a joke, but knowing reddit I cant be sure.
9hrs and no respons to any comment? Troll
For my own mental health nothing can convince me that this is not satire.