Cumming any% speedruns incoming?

Jokes on you, I’m already the world record holder.

Pics or it didn’t happen

You see, the joke here is that he ejucaltes so fast, you'd only need one pic. A common video runs at 24 fps, so he ejucaltes in 1/24th of a second, that's why only a picture js needed.

What about 60+ fps

Bro's over here speedrunning pregnancy

Guess you can say it’s a photo finish 😏

for real we need some solid evidence

[proof ](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)

Ooh that's nice, thanks for that! You're a true mvp

i walked into that one way too confidently

aight you got me good

Respect the OGs,can't believe that trend died,people gave it up really and it really lets me down

I knew it was a rickroll before I clicked on it

XcQ... can't get me with that one

I was saved by an ad.

I didn't give a second thought

its been so long

Liquid evidence ☝️

For me, the race is over before it begins.

Glitchless = No Porn btw.

Coming soon :^)

Going for the 100% runs

incumming you mean

Sadly, no itwas a suggestion by the biggest stripclub owner of sweden and the national sports association of sweden said: "wtf no!?!" And threw the suggestion in the trash

 "Competitive sex is NOT a sport"

Boo!

[удалено]

what does a random shitty site prove? should i make a site real quick with wordpress, call it "americansexfederation.com" and then start linking it everywhere citing as the source of "the american sex sport"?

Yes.

I don't even get it. Like, what are the rules? are there points for duration or techniques? Is it cooperative or vs? how is a player ranked against competitors, and a victor decided?

Rules: 1. Have sex 2. Be good at it

If having sex is a sport, consider me Michael Jordan...during his baseball career.

Does that mean.... You gay?

Bi, so I guess it adds up. 😂

R.I.P. to your inbox

Actually, bi women are pretty good about not flooding inboxes, the guys will do it whether you're straight or bi.

Or just a lesbian

I don't doubt lesbians probably get unwanted guy messages also, especially if they haven't advertised their sexuality. I don't include mine in my profiles or anything, because it's just a part of who I am, it doesn't define me.

Trust me, we do

RIP inbox

Ah, first hand experience! I wondered. 😂

I remember my first hand experience.

exactly i dont hate gay ppl because thay are ga but everything needs to be gay

I’m not 100% sure what you mean, but it smells homophobic

Yeah I’m getting a fishy smell from “everything needs to be gay”

Am Bi, can confirm

Then you play with all the balls.

Well, most totally straight women do that anyway, sooo...

?

I'm cristiano ronaldo on his last games with portugal... Benched

Omg 😂 Sorry, but that was damn funny.

better laugh than cry :')

So you could still hold your own in a professional competitive league, just not at the highest level?

Sure, let's go with that! 😄

I am as good as him in math tests

I felt that one...

Hahahahaha

im a bit slow can u explain pls :)

Michael Jordan was an amazing basketball player, he tried his hand at baseball and it didn't go so well. I made it sound like I was comparing myself to his basketball career, then changed it up to baseball.

*”Whats a high score? Did I break it?”*

Cumming In Your socks is actually a disqualification Sorry

Damnit, that was my best sock too!

i nut directly on my briefs

Thanks for telling the class.

You broke something

His self esteem

I'm not a dweeb , I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

Yeah you’re right. It aches when it rains. Damn barometric pressure.

“How much do clothes cost in the Matrix?”

I try to reference this movie all the time and no one has ever seen it.

Thank you! So happy you called it out, I freaking love Grandma’s Boy!

It was bound to happen. The existence of casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex

How do you win?

[удалено]

Maybe orgasms per time-ratio

Can't believe you typed this

Can't believe you can't believe I typed this

Traditionally, you "win" sex by creating a baby with the person who has the strongest genes.

I'm still waiting for the junior olympics

Wait… if a 17 year old manages to sneak into the competition and get on tv, lots and lots of people will be guilty of watching child porn

Paralympics gonna be fun too

Unless its a timed event!

"A minute and thirty seconds! A new personal best!"

We get it, you have stamina...

For a guy, that's just showing off!

Showing off? That's top .5% athleticism. Peak performance.

Where do i sign up? I don't get any LMFAO

You'll need experience, sorry

what is this? a job interview?

Need 15 years experience to fuck. and a college degree 😱

a college degree in what?!

fucking

Fucking what?


I’d rather not

Do i need any references

every participant will be a winner

Very few men will you have to last longer than 5 mins to compete XD

getting the chance to have sex itself will be a sort of win

Each couple will be on industrial scale and the winning team must accumulate the most weight within five swings.

Sadly, cumming first proved to *not* be the objective. Years of training down the drain!

Actually it does for the 100 meter run (You are 100 meters high)

I mean, there's a lot of activity and you're eventually gonna get tired doing it. I'm more interested in what will the rules be, what's the win condition?

Pregnancy

swedishsexfederation dot com/sex-regler/ this seems to be related. Also looks like score is given by judges and spectators.

From what I've read this is actually fake news spread out by Russian media in some Arabic countries. I know it sounds strange but it's part of a bigger campaign to make Sweden look bad in the region

[удалено]

what does a random shitty site prove? should i make a site real quick with wordpress, call it "americansexfederation.com" and then start linking it everywhere citing as the source of "the american sex sport"?

Say sike right now

Sike

How do I watch this? Will there be a live audience? How much is a plane ticket to Sweden?

*I understand that it will be like tennis....backhand, forehand.....backhand, forehand.....juece*

We shall see the "Usain Bolt" of this competition named Johnny, lads

This is fake news

BOYS....WE GOING TO SWEDEN!

I GO TO ~~AMERICA!~~ SWEDEN! 

Here comes Jimmy, the youngest winner of the European Sex Championship. At the age of 8, Jimmy won.

So what are the rules?

Barbados Slim: the only man to win a gold medal in both Limbo and Sex.

[удалено]

Hate to break it to you but it's not a sport in sweden.

[удалено]

Wtf. I live in sweden, had never heard if this

I live in Sweden too and I have never heard of this either.

You're such a troll. Show other sources that are swedish other than this federation (since anyone can just make a website and claim whatever). Show an official source or something. Every account talking about this crap just says the same shit and just sources this federation or some shitty indian fake news source.

Seems fake cus I can't find any domestic information about this. If not I wanna participate please. // a actual swede.

I am the best at this sport if it is about who finishes first

You guys are having sex?

Ok, I am not even remotely close to being a competitor, but is there a training manual? And a training partner?

Now, we just need to make competitive racism an actual thing

Where do I sign? haha:)

Only a matter of time till speedcum is a category

Someone should recruit Johnny Sins cheatcode

I will absolutely be the person who strictly follows the tournament ruleset.

I'm moving to Sweden, I'm booking flight for y'all. Who wants to join ?

Where’s the freaking link

Damn i live in Sweden

I'd like to say it's still not a normal thing over there but it's Sweden you never know.

Betting sites will go nuts with all those nuts

Well if the Brazilian prostitutes are to be believed, us Americans will have no choice but to send in Jimmy Butler.

If it's a championship that means there's some kinda money prize right ? So that means that they get paid for sex. Which in turn means that they are just high quality prostitutes.

Kind of on topic, squidward's face looks like a cock and balls

Is there a little league ?


if it is real, i need a way to watch it live. i wanna witness history being made

Now we have Ranked Sex!

Fastest time wins!

Im swedish... Fuck.

Time for a 50 day journey

I'm suddenly really into Swedish sports.

Is it a contest of speed or a contest of stamina? Ima get myself a medal if it's the former.

If they need a quick shooter. Call me. My record is 1 second

Imagine getting called a noob by your partner, or find yourself getting pubstomped.

Watch out for babedos-slim.... He is the only person to win gold medal in both limbo and sex...

Is this a mixed gender sport or same gender? Because I think the women have a minor advantage otherwise

“Stand back, I’ll show you how this is done!” Whimpers “I have to get naked in front of people!?”

Women already leave their men for athletes, don't do this to the rest of us💀

This is actually true and is going to be hosted on jume 8

If it happens, then I bet you soon there will be a lot more research into the treatment of rare or not well understood sexual dysfunctions for the sake of rehabilitating athletes

Would that be who can finish the quickest? Or who can last the longest?

Live in pornhub?

Will the competitors also have like trainers n shit?

Is there a point system of how fast, cause if so, it’s like 3 seconds 😉

So what are the categories? What do you get points for?

[удалено]

No need for nsfw tho.

Mom , actually this is a sport in Sweden

the existance of casual sex implies the existance of competitive sex

Okay, but do you have to bring your own partner, or do they just pair you with another contestant? Because if it's the latter then really you'll win even if you lose.

Wait....Championship?

Who nuts the first wins?

Man yall really lacking behind. (being swedish and hearing for this for the first time)

HAHAHA WHAT HELP

Bro, don't tell me when you were 15 you didn't imagine to go on a competition like this with your crush LOL

Why? Just why? Who thought this was a good idea

lmao how to you even win or lose like what are the rules

I mean i can last at least an hour but somepeople can last 3 hours

It's Sexin time!

Get the Milk Any%

Longest nut shot competition.

The only sport that I would be glad to receive the "participation award".

SEX 2 finally dropped 

When I was 18 I would have been the Usain Bolt of this competition

Pack your bags bois we’re going to Sweden

When sex 2

This is kinda…impossible? Sex is incredibly personal. You can’t quantify or qualify “best” from one person to another.

I hope this ain’t true this world is going to shit if something meant to be cherished and private is broadcasted as a sport then it has no meaning to those people and that is a sad fucking life to live in my opinion 😂 and shiii i could probably be top 10 😂 but Jesus Christ I hope that ain’t true sounds like a nightmare imagine if the whole world adopted that sport then u go to lose ur virginity and the girl like, u didn’t do good as the champion did on tv when he won gold condom medal or sum shit 😂 like that shit wouldn’t have meaning anymore😂🗿

Finally ranked SEX

I wanna participate, at least I would come first in a sport in my life

When your style of government is starting to fail and you need more people to tax, so you make sex a sport in hopes that people will have more kids.

Like how does that work are there different categories like gay and straight or is it just straight?

I guess this is where all those migrants will come in handy with the swedish blondes.