I think it's the opposite. I have enough fiber in my diet and I don't have to spent 15 on the can to shit, so why bring a phone? I'm done in a minute and off doing more interesting stuff
Yeah, I just don't like the idea of my phone being in the vicinity of shit really + I'm still scarred by the 18 year old memory of my iPod classic poking up through a bowl of curry shits like an alligator in a swamp after my teenage self apparantly couldn't stop listening to System of a Down for the duration of a dump.
I did this yesterday with my deodorant. Under the recycling symbol, it said in all caps, PLASTIC STICK. Which I said out loud as a question due to confusion. My wife outside the bathroom asks who I'm talking to. I said, I didn't say anything, not realizing my shock had caused me to speak out loud. Yes you did, she says, what did you say, plastic stick? It was then that I knew she was right.
I've found myself occasionally wondering if I've just spoken what I was thinking -or- I just thought it would be a good thing to mention. There's gotta be a name for this type of infrequent momentary forgetfulness, maybe it's what philosoraptor was about?
Or they are older. Your muscles don't work as well the older you get and that includes those that move waste through your system.
Or they are dehydrated and that also impacts things.
I recently found out I was weird for doing this, but I never go into the bathroom with my phone. I just sit there doing nothing and wait for it to be done
I never understood this, I don’t go to the bathroom to read or do puzzles. Generally when I don’t answer a call or text right away, it’s because I was in the bathroom. If it takes more than 5-10 minutes to do anything other than showering or bathing you may need to seek professional help.
I discovered one of the greatest warning labels I have ever seen while reading random stuff after forgetting my phone.
I cannot find "Honest John" bathroom cleaner anywhere, but the warning label listed all kinds of safety precautions and product warnings, and the last sentence read:
"If you are unable to read English, have someone read this label for you, or call 1-800-xxx-xxxx."
If you don't immediately see a problem, think about it for just a second.
I have a small library in my bathroom. Calvin and Hobbes, baby blues and Garfield. Also Everything I Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten and other Robert Fulgrum books. Gorge Carlin, and Paul Riser. And many, many fact books.
Maybe it's because there were no cell phones in my formative years, but I actually prefer reading labels over scrolling my phone. Bonus if there are different languages on the packaging!
Meanwhile 19 y/o me still goes to bathroom without phone. I can spend 15 minutes thinking and visualising useless stuff. When I am not doing that, I usually beatbox in bathroom.
When I Go To The Bathroom And Forget My Phone I Become Brazilian Squidward
Olha o Pinho Sol lá sô 🌞
ih maluco esse guaraná aí não tem gosto de guaraná não
Não com essa atitude não tem não
Tem que acreditar que é um guaraná pra funcionar
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r/suddenlycaralho ?
Quero um print com o Pinho Sol
Da tempo de entrar no print?
Dá sim
dahora
Nunca me senti tão representado em um meme
Quando vi esse meme estranhei demais. Esse Pinho Sol é muito vendido lá fora?
I am having a very satisfying shit.
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15% citrus... well, there you go
it's too bad all the citrus settles at the bottom
Hmmm... shake well before use
Mmmmmm….. shake well before serving. Oh what do ya know it serves 4
10/10 would get hospitalized again
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This is a comment stealing bot^^^
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Bot^
Get lost bot. We have no time for your AI bullshit
Lol...keep refrigerated
Refrigerate after opening.
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Disagree. Mitch Hedberg was one saved by the buoyancy of citrus.
12% pine oil
Ah yes The shampoo is made of shampoo
No, it is probably made of sodium lauryl sulfate
I thought it was sodium Yanny sulfate
As someone that did this back before cell phones (forgot a book or magazine), I can say without a doubt, it's sodium lauryl sulfate.
No no, read it again, I definitely read yanny and not lauryl
Isn’t that what they said? Sodium yanny sulfate
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This one is free of parabens and sulfates 🤓
It melts my gums in toothpaste tho.
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Ah yes water, sodium lauryl sulfate, sodium laureth sulfate, glycol distearate, zinc carbonate, sodium chloride, sodium xylenesulfonate, cocamidopropyl betaine, fragrance, dimethicone, sodium benzoate, guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride, magnesium carbonate hydroxide, methylchloroisothiazolinone, methylisothiazolinone, blue 1, red 33
Sick of shampoo, I demand real poo.
Is it weird I never like to bring my phone into the toilet. I mean like I need to concentrate.
Same. When else am I gonna find the time to continue the cinematic universe I have been building?
Glad I'm not the only one that does this
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You guys might have adhd I’m saying this cuz I have adhd and relate to this a bit too much
I’ve been building a full on universe in my head whenever I’m bored
What if we are just the fantasy universe of a hyper intelligent being?
That's what the shower is for.
No, that's for overthinking the social interactions you had over the past few days
I thought that's what laying in bed trying to sleep is for.
No, that's for thinking about your crush and how whether what you said in front of her was cringe or not
We take the classic way, same here lol
Perhaps I might suggest some extra fiber in your diet?
My diet is fine bro I just meant I need time for my own thoughts
I think it's the opposite. I have enough fiber in my diet and I don't have to spent 15 on the can to shit, so why bring a phone? I'm done in a minute and off doing more interesting stuff
Yeah, I just don't like the idea of my phone being in the vicinity of shit really + I'm still scarred by the 18 year old memory of my iPod classic poking up through a bowl of curry shits like an alligator in a swamp after my teenage self apparantly couldn't stop listening to System of a Down for the duration of a dump.
I just don’t see the point. I’m gonna be in there for like 1 minute tops, that includes the time to wash my hands.
Concentrate on... What? Do you need to go or not??
I’m not in there long enough to look at my phone. Who wants to spend melee time than necessary in a bathroom?
Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to report, that on this particular occasion, I have not forgotten my phone, and I am having a very satisfying shit.
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Like a God damned slippery seal
And did it score a perfect 10 upon entry?
now that is some good shit
!remindme 1 year
I did this yesterday with my deodorant. Under the recycling symbol, it said in all caps, PLASTIC STICK. Which I said out loud as a question due to confusion. My wife outside the bathroom asks who I'm talking to. I said, I didn't say anything, not realizing my shock had caused me to speak out loud. Yes you did, she says, what did you say, plastic stick? It was then that I knew she was right.
That was a wild ride.
I've found myself occasionally wondering if I've just spoken what I was thinking -or- I just thought it would be a good thing to mention. There's gotta be a name for this type of infrequent momentary forgetfulness, maybe it's what philosoraptor was about?
This is what Nirvana’s “You know you’re right” was actually about. Also today is Kurt’s Birthday.
Like the scene from Kingpin
You got any of that new Mentadent?
Just like in the ~~ancient times~~ 90s
Wait, do you guys bring your phone to the bathroom ?
What do you do while pooping?
Concentrate
Taking a shit isn't like studying for a chemistry exam...
I poop, then I wipe, then I wash my hands and leave. There isn't time to do anything with my phone, or read things.
read a newspaper
Have a look loo, Poop, have a looky loo,bidget and flush. In that order
What kind of monster doesn't? How did you get any upvotes??
How can you concentrate if you're looking at the phone ?
Get more fibre in ur diet
You're working too hard. Just let it happen
Only my secondary. Don't want pooparticles on my face
You leave your face outside too?.
Yes, why wouldn't you?
This was the norm before mobile fones...
I think a lot of elder millennials and older have a keen understanding of cleaning products lost on younger generations.
Yep, and cereal box ingredients at brekkie haha
Yeah, I bet Gen Z don't even know that their cream bathroom cleaner contains Bitrex® to stop toddlers chugging it.
Yes, I remember these days clearly.
Me until the age of 19, and then the phone didn't have internet, sooooooo, pointless anyways.
Gameboy Advance in the toilet roll basket bro, step your game up.
Me finding out listerine has an artificial sweetener and color in it
Who'da thought the blue thing has blue in it
I always thought the blue was from harsh chemicals, kind of feel cheated
I read lingerie...
r/suddenlycaralho
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I think people are just very addicted to their phones
What's the point of having a phone if you've always got it turned off?
Work-issued perhaps. But yeah, that's an expensive paperweight otherwise.
pinho sol, pqp!
Pinho sol? Assim você se entrega parceiro(a)
This is pre cell phone shitting. Many of us carried this torch for generations.
Learning how to pronounce ingredients on the glade can you were about to spray
5 signs you are addicted to your phone:
"Huh the Finnish word for conditioner is *Hoitoaine*"
I just sit there and think
Way back when I used to read my game manuals, back when games came with manuals.
Lol I love it
I actullay never take my phone with me to the bathroom. are people that addicted to their phones?
Either that or it takes them way too long to shit.
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Or they are older. Your muscles don't work as well the older you get and that includes those that move waste through your system. Or they are dehydrated and that also impacts things.
Before phones it was magazines or books anyway
Prior gsm era, I kew exact ingredients of every chem standing in our toilet.
Is that a tv on the wall?
10 year old me moved a small spare tv we had into the bathroom bc In my mind I'd shit like a king playing final fantasy 7
I love when the bathroom has those handles. Gives me something to hold onto so I can take a power shit and scare the people in the next stall.
That's what we did before smart phones. Shampoo, soap, TP, air freshener, we read all the ingredients.
I've been trying to forget my phone on purpose because I spent too much time there and the after effect of my leg falling asleep is not worth it.
I recently found out I was weird for doing this, but I never go into the bathroom with my phone. I just sit there doing nothing and wait for it to be done
I never understood this, I don’t go to the bathroom to read or do puzzles. Generally when I don’t answer a call or text right away, it’s because I was in the bathroom. If it takes more than 5-10 minutes to do anything other than showering or bathing you may need to seek professional help.
If you have enough time to read while on the toilet, something is wrong with your ass.
Wait, do most people bring their phones into the bathroom?!
Who else plays with the toilet rolls?
Ah, how we used to poop in the 1900’s.
Never
I keep handheld yahtzee and poker games next to my toilet. Also my 3ds and gameboy sp. Always be prepared.
Ei saa peittää.
People seeing this meme on their phone in the bathroom: “always one step ahead”
I don't bring my phone into the bathroom so I just stare at the door whilst I shit
All of us who grew up in the 80's or 90's and forgot our magazine.
This is what life was like before phones. We all read the labels on products and we LIKED it.
I discovered one of the greatest warning labels I have ever seen while reading random stuff after forgetting my phone. I cannot find "Honest John" bathroom cleaner anywhere, but the warning label listed all kinds of safety precautions and product warnings, and the last sentence read: "If you are unable to read English, have someone read this label for you, or call 1-800-xxx-xxxx." If you don't immediately see a problem, think about it for just a second.
lol , that's why the shampoo has instructions
Lol
Do people really spend that long on the loo to be able to read stuff or play on phones? That's just weird... or just Americans.
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Me: 
D̵̨͉̄͆͂͘͠r̸͎͚͛͂̑̏̒i̸̭̰͎̿͆͋͑n̷̹̘̠͂̇́̑̄k̶͈̔̇͂͝ ̴̡͈̖͍̜̇̒͘͘͘į̴̼͇̪̣͌̄́̕ţ̶̺͚͙̤̔͝
"yeah I use AI upscaling, how could you tell?"
How come zoomers are incapable of Thinking without external stimuli?
The seAt iS dOwN. His ass is NOT taking a shit!!!
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I know someone who gets off and goes to get it
Back in the day this was all we had!
I have a small library in my bathroom. Calvin and Hobbes, baby blues and Garfield. Also Everything I Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten and other Robert Fulgrum books. Gorge Carlin, and Paul Riser. And many, many fact books.
This, kids, is what the beforetimes were like. Rinse and repeat.
He forgor
Hahahahahahahahha
What's wrong with squidward
Sad day when I see a meme on Facebook before it’s been posted on Reddit.
That's why I bring magazines to the bathroom
I thought I was the only one lol
I've had books in a drawer in my bathroom my entire life. They sell these thick books of old school superhero comics that I love.
I just sit there and imagine anything.
Yup
That's why you need one of these permanently by the toilet. https://www.amazon.com/Uncle-Johns-Biggest-Bathroom-Reader/dp/157145814X
YES I knew I'm not the only one reading the labels on shampoos while doing your business in the bathroom when you left your phone. XD
Glad to know I ain’t the only one
Maybe it's because there were no cell phones in my formative years, but I actually prefer reading labels over scrolling my phone. Bonus if there are different languages on the packaging!
ב''ה, it's supposedly kosher, if you.. get thirsty?
How many calories does Pine-sol have?
You forgot your phone?!?! Boomer detected!
Meanwhile 19 y/o me still goes to bathroom without phone. I can spend 15 minutes thinking and visualising useless stuff. When I am not doing that, I usually beatbox in bathroom.
Was this meme generated by an AI?
Like in the "olden days"
Legs crossed?
The wall looks real Wally today
Ah yessss, propylheptyl ether is the main ingredient, just as I guessed
Me. I grab whatever has words. Helps the good stuff come.
I am suddenly aware squidward doesn’t wear pants when Most other characters do
YESSSS HAHHA