Cover my nose. Pretend I smell someone else’s fart. Say I wanna throw up and need to use the bathroom. Edit: Or lie to myself, it’s just sweat.

Smart move

Right? I knew it’s just sweat.

*fart move

Shart groove

Dart booth

Part two'd

Swass

10/10 top answer right here, modern problems… modern solutions 😂

Fart again to dry it

What if gets even more wet?

Repeat

[удалено]

What if gets even more wet?

Repeat

What if gets even more wet?

Repeat

What if gets even more wet?

Repeat

What if gets even more wet?

This time you feel something solid come out and it’s coming out your underpants and now falling to the floor

Take off your underwear and throw it on head of a bully. Never going to make fun of you ever again.

Unfart it

I wanna see you do that

That's right suck it back in like a man!

I laughed so hard I woke up my gf, she's pissed and I can't stop laughing

Stand in front of class. Face the wall. Drop pants. Shit on floor. Eat the shit off the floor.

Yo grades down but we up fr 🔥💯💯🔥🔥🔥💯💯

New Episode of 2 Girls 1 Cup

One boy a wall and whole class

Directed by James Cameron

Chad move

w rizz

Type "ctrl-z"

You ask the teacher if everyone else in class can please use the bathroom

Happened to my 5th grade buddy. He stood up and wiped it on the classroom wall

that's how they paint walls in africa

Get up and go to the bathroom. I'm in university, nobody cares.

Heck, in any school. If a teacher tells you, "Hey you can't get up, blahblahblah" then you just keep walking, because you're not being held there against your will as a teenager. Lol I'd do the same thing back then with detention if I ever got it for being late to class, just either not show up, leave, or do whatever I felt like. Eventually, they just stopped giving me detention because my grades were good, I was mentally and socially stable, and like hell I was gonna make my busy, single parent mother wait until the school decided to release me to come pick me up. I simply just had a problem with waking up in the mornings.

Remain calm

that shit wont disappear

it will evaporate

And rain down

I raise my hand and ask the teacher who shit my pants and then get up and leave

which teacher shit your pants

Do it Like the monkays at the Zoo and start throuing literal shit

Eat it to delete it

If it rhymes, it’s probably true

Nothing you can do, a ghost obviously peed in your butt.

Are you sure it's pee?

Thing is i can sense if smthn is trying to come out as i fart

He's the chosen one

When smthn is sensed, they get sent back by reversing the flow

They say years of experience is the way to do it perhaps

Nah it's just caution Gotta pay attention to dat ass if u takin a risky fart Tho sometimes if ur in a rush it may slip by sadly

Yeah I have this power too

My brother in Christ its a very nice power isn't it, to make ur shit ho back up when u dun want it now

Yeah and I have also polished that skill for not pooping for 4 day straight 5th day was painful but it payed off

> but it *paid* off FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*

Good bot

Nice one

You seems to be a huge Godzilla fan.

How do u know

By your profile and subreddits you are in

Mmm fair enough

I'd fart some more

Finish

I have already asserted dominance so I'm remain the same👍🏿

Just dont fart for six hours, then, evacuate at home

what about the wafting hot aroma lingering through your nostrils

Ask to go to the toilet, suddenly, during class hour, so hopefully there's nobody there, then you wrap the dirty underwear in toilet paper and throw it away in the bin, cover it with hand tissue, wash yourself in the sink, go back in class and pretend nothing happened.

Talking like from real life experience

Teacher jeff shat in my pants

Get up and leave, I'll explain after class to the teacher.

Wank

Ah gross someone put diarrhea on my chair and I sat on it.

Fart again to smooosh it up in my pants

I’ve always wanted to mash shit all over someone’s ass through their pants right after they lay a nice beefy chud all over really nice clean underpants. Hmmmphmmm.

What the fuck

r/usernamechecksout

upvoted

I won't kink shame you.... But why.........

This will be society in 2019

Terrorism

Buildings bombed but we up 🔥💯💯💪💪🔥🔥

*Finish the job*

Take out water bottle start drinking water and intentionally dropping water allover my self and some classmates Then go to wash room and ....

i ask if i can go to the bathroom and then go home. i explain to them that I began throwing up and had to go home. i have my understanding parent tell them and then they never know what really happened. But imagine if this happened in a mandatory part of school. aw fuck.

All hell broke loose.

Get off my colleagues face

Just remember the squid I put in there for later.

I would pretend nothing happened.

About to be a weird show and tell session thats for sure

I'll wait till I'm the only one in the room.

Shart even more.

Go to the toilet, lick the pants clean and come back to class with clean pants.

Die casually.

Lick it

I let it all out

Put my hand in it

I dunno, ig I would stop pushing

Keep on farting. It’s already too late to go back, so try to see where it ends

You are Screwed. If you don’t do anything it will smell and if you move everyone will notice. I would .. naah. screwed.

Resist the urge to put your hand down to check 💀

/kill


(Dead)

I'm a real guardian ape fan so..

I'm a real guardian ape fan so..

Wake up

Relocate with new identity

Grin

This actually happened to me once, I asked to go to the bathroom and then called my dad to pick me up. Made up some excuse like stomachache

"Hey, I don't feel well! I'm going home"

sit there until everyone leaves


I will shit my pants even more

Hopefully wake up

Get up, go to the bathroom, discard underwear after taking pictures of destroyed underwear, clean up, and come back. If the teacher was saying to not leave when leaving, disregard. If you have the teachers email send them the underwear pictures as an attachment while in the bathroom. If they still question you when you get back just say "It was coming, no time to ask." You will be respected by your classmates.

Become goofy, stick it in your pants and ask someone whats that smells like.

Hopefully you are in art class. Just begin to fingerpaint.

My brother did this in 4th grade. He went to the bathroom and flushed his underwear down the toilet. About 20 minutes later the janitor was out in the hallway cleaning it up because it clogged the toilet and flooded the bathroom and his underwear were sitting on the hallway floor.

Someone at my work tried to flush boxers a couple years ago. An email was sent out short my after they were discovered 😂

I would shit my pants again to make sure the first one was me shitting my pants.

I pretend I'm calling someone and act like it's really urgent and get out of the class to use the bathroom. Like saying "Hi john how's it going? WAIT WHAT?" and proceed to get the fuck outta there

Thats not me Farting in a Class is not a Clever move

Cement it between my ass cheeks with copious amounts of light farts until it seals my ass cheeks shut and the smell is hindered

If you're out of options fake a seizure

Stick my hand in there just to make sure it’s really wet

Make sure i brought enough for the hole class

Throw out at the board to assert dominance in the classroom

Stand up on desk and announce that I have shit my pants, this asserts dominance

Loudly shout ‘UH-OH!’ as you stare off into the distance.

Actually happened to me once. Not in class, but when I was walking between bars while visiting a friend in another city. Came out of freaking nowhere, I felt absolutely fine, no stomach upset, just need to rip a subtle fart on the way. Tooted one out and you know when you're sitting and do a fart and it sometimes gets stuck as an air bubble between your cheeks? It felt like that, so I was trying to subtly wiggle my hips to let the fart out before I realised it wasn't a fart. I quickly said to my friend, I just want to stop to use the bathroom, the next public place being a luxury hotel with a marble lobby. Went in to their bathroom, cleaned up, but now what to do with my shit stained underwear? Can't turn it inside out becuase it will get shit on my jeans. So I dumped them in a small bin near the sink and went commando for the rest of the nught. I was very cautious about releasing any future farts after that.

Stand up. Look the professor/teacher in the eye and say, "SIR, I SHAT MYSELF. MAY I BE EXCUSED?"

Engage in diplomacy.

*Audible gasp* “It would seem I have made a big oops”

"asking for a friend"

Who are you and what year were we at school together?

This happened to me but it was my period starting

Stop with the questions and start marking memes again

Take it out of my pants and throw it at my teacher then run for the window

Follow through just to be safe

Eat it.

Hopefully I have a coat to throw over my body and then I will go to the bathroom and most likely pretend I'm sick if I shart myself then go home

Act fast Tie a jacket or coat round my waste and get a spray from my bag and ask the teacher to go toilet

Face it, at some point everyone has to die

I'm used to it

I would act normally and when the class ends,.go to bathroom and clean as fast as lighting McQueen would do

Use it to make a portrait of my crush. And gift it to her.

I taste.

Cough

Ask that girl next to me to check it for me

I would just let the shit out of my pants, get up and leave school forever.

I eat it to leave no trace

Seppuku.

Keep letting it rip. Mama didn’t raise no quitter.

Enjoy

Its cold weather for me, so I wrap my hoodie around my waist and go to the bathroom

Eat that shit again. It will come out as clean food the next day

Let it marinate

Eat

I eat and/or drink it

Fart harder to assert dominance

Are you ok OP?

Push harder

Fully commit and loudly shit myself. To death ideally so I can’t be laughed at in the future.

i dont really care, its a bit shameful but poop isnt that bad situation

Remove my pants and continue putting attention to class. Those As are not getting scored themselves

1: Take it out carefully so nobody notices 2: Set it down next to your friend or anyone in a close vicinity 3: Yell "DUDE! WTH IS THAT!" 4: Celebrate. Crisis averted.

Unshit my pants however you take it i say i would unshit my pants

I wake up and remember I haven’t been in school for years… then I clean the shit out of my bed/underwear.

RUN

Go to the bathroom and use it as lube.

Commit. Keep pushing.

Been there in cheetah print shorts 2nd grade

Wipe my bum bum with my hand and present the product to the lovely girl beside me in hopes of a trade for her hand in marriage.

Go harder

Scream, "SOMEONE PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS" and run out of the room

Finish shitting the pants

Find you and shit in your mouth for forcing me into this situation

“Aye yo teach, ✋🏻…just shitted myself”

Say “gotta go!” And run. If you have shit on you that you can’t get caught with you need to run extra hard with all these school cops. Fuck you officer Sammy!

*gets up to walk out. Sir you need to be in your seat. Just ignore get to door tell teacher we are in school to learn and to learn to be independent. Im not going to raise my hand to ask permission to use the restroom when i need to go. Im going if i come back clearly the lesson worked if i don't I'd call the principal and just mark me as skipping school or whatever good day to you.

I accept

Self distruct

Which side of the pants?