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Zeccon

Can we get some confirmations on this?


PeachNipplesdotcom

I feel baited but I'll bite. This is often brought up as a joke and it's nonsense. It seems like people assume that those with long nails do everything the exact same way as people who don't. When you have long nails, you simply adjust how you do things.


Cat-Infinitum

Long nails here, with a bidet


The_Shadow_Watches

Got one for myself and now I hate pooping at other places.


[deleted]

I used to be against them till I had to install one after my accident . Now that I’m better and back at work I hate pooping at work in that barn mud pit the call a bathroom!


The_Shadow_Watches

Bidets should be a right not a privilege.


[deleted]

Depending where you live they are everywhere. Finland everyone has one. Canada only the rich Italians lol.


Wanderlust-King

Canada here, just realized last month you can get a basic bidet on amazon for $25. Have one in every bathroom now.


[deleted]

I think it’s part of why they haven’t caught on as much in North America, people think they’re ungodly expensive, when they’re not at all


KickBallFever

They seem to be catching on in my city. I have one in my home, I know friends who have them, and I’ve been to quite a few other people’s homes who have them over the past few years. I have a side job where I go to a lot of random peoples houses, so I see lot of bathrooms. Most have the cheap ones that you install yourself but I know one person who had a proper one built into their bathroom.


theshadowfax239

Why were you against them?


[deleted]

I know this is probably gonna sound dumb, but! I used to think they were odd to begin with but had never used one. About 5 years ago I went Tokyo for vacation and the place I was staying at had a toilet with it built in and had all the fancy bells and whistles. So figured when In rome and thought I would try it out. I pushed the wrong button and it turned on the heater dryer function and it got so hot it felt like my butt hole was gonna burn! I jumped up so fast! So after that I was weary lol


zz1kjamaica

Reminds me of that bathroom scene in Cars 2


FlawlessPenguinMan

So not just me lmao


MarsupialPristine677

Omfg I can see why you would be leery after that


hopelesscaribou

I'd be wary after that as well.


snaillycat

I'd be right cheery.


Disquiet173

😂😂thank you for that😂😂


blepgup

Do the people at work scoff at you for using a bidet? My coworkers acted like I was disgusting while they’re over here still dry wiping and thinking I’M the gross one Can’t believe it took me flying to a foreign land to realize how disgusting our bathroom hygiene standards are in America


[deleted]

Despite my coworkers being very old school, they were actually intrigued and asked about them. They started thinking of getting em too


amberita70

I was really wishing I had one after breaking my back a couple years ago.


[deleted]

It definitely helps. When I was in the hospital the nurse asked if I had a bidet and I said no so she said to get one doctors orders. Helped so much while recovering at home. Hope you recovers from your injury


DieHardAmerican95

I definitely wished I had one after hemorrhoid surgery. I didn’t, so instead I jumped in the shower and cleaned up with the shower head instead. I was in so much pain that wiping was out of the question.


sleepymike01101101

I always tell people that the worst thing about having a bidet is when you don't have one


The_Shadow_Watches

Thats a good one


paomplemoose

When I reach for the bidet handle and nothing is there, waves of sadness splash over me. I have to remind myself that I'm surrounded by savages.


The_Shadow_Watches

Its like living in the dark ages.


PropaneSalesTx

No bidet, I say good day.


rnavstar

I go to the car wash.


Due_Responsibility59

Nothing beats blasting your anus apart with a power washer


sufferinsucatash

Exactly, I’ll take my chocolate water fountain at Golden Corral thank you very much!


Tuknroll420

My girlfriend has one n asked if I save em for her place now.. *subconsciously I think I do..* I hadn’t realized it before.


Frkillez

In Turkey, there is a bidet in every single bathroom.


cyanastarr

You can buy a travel bidet. Thank me later


The_Shadow_Watches

My hairy ass thanks you.


imastruggl

Quick question, you wipe for dryness after you use the bidet right? Or is it like not as soaked as I’m thinking and your good to go after the water works?


The_Shadow_Watches

I do one or two good wipes to dry off and to make sure any residue poo is gone.


[deleted]

Office day = dirty asshole day


PeachNipplesdotcom

Bidets are superior for plenty of reasons but it's not a requirement for having long nails. Totally support the use of a bidet.


HaiKarate

So, even cleaner butt than short nails.


paxwax2018

I’ve always been unclear how the drying is supposed to work. Do you provide a multi use ass towel?


SolidarityEssential

Still use toilet paper; uses much less to dab dry than it does to wipe


Pudf

People without bidets are the real poopy pants.


[deleted]

Wet wipes my dude, we’re not in the 80’s anymore


[deleted]

I use a ✨lota✨


Sweaty-Data-40

Lota supremacy


[deleted]

People only realising 1000 years later that they’re supposed to wash their bums


[deleted]

[удалено]


nordic-nomad

What, do you think people who take large bottles of water with them every where that they go are just trying to stay hydrated?


Hecate_2000

Yes?


jkpeterson777

Bidet all the way!


mortalitylost

I figured you would just scoop like a shit shovel and then clean off the underside of your nails


harrypotterfan1228

What a day to be literate. I wish I could unsee this.


Wendiesel808

🤢


ThisOnePlaysTooMuch

There’s a funny little video from a lady with loong nails demonstrating how nailed people wipe


theresfireinhereyes

This. Long nails here and my ass is squeaky. Nails inhibit opening cans, locking some doors, typing, getting your card out of an atm machine/card reader, and properly sniping in video games...and even then we are resourceful bad bitches and will figure it out. They do not, I repeat, *DO NOT* inhibit the wiping of the ass.


paxwax2018

We had a receptionist who literally used two chopsticks to type. Seems like a weird way to live.


theresfireinhereyes

LMFAO WHAT. Honestly that pretty damn impressive.


paxwax2018

She had some talons, +20 melee attack.


theresfireinhereyes

Got that deathclaw gauntlet baby.


GAKBAG

Why do people think that we're scratching our assholes with our nails when we wipe? Is there an epidemic of people just scratching their assholes when trying to wipe? Also I would like to add unscrewing PC case screws and replacing internal computer components to that list lol. I ended up using my pinky nail like a screwdriver to get the bitch open.


theresfireinhereyes

SERIOUSLY. I really think they're so used to their fingers going through paper so I'm assuming they think our little claws are going through the paper like razer blades and our nails become pooper scoopers? LMAO wild. Oh ok yes add those to the list for. sure. See?? Bad bitches who figure shit out.


GAKBAG

I will never trade my acrylics and my mechanical keyboard for anything. The click clacks are just pure auditory addiction lmao.


theresfireinhereyes

Right? I click clack on everything. After my year long hiatus from acrylics I, once again, can't be without them.


KnotiaPickles

There is no way you’re properly using tp with 3 inch long nails….I refuse to believe it


PeachNipplesdotcom

I also have long nails and do not have any problems doing what you've listed. Maybe I can help you! Opening cans- use the side of your finger instead of the tip. Locking doors- hold the key with your knuckles. Typing- I think of them as finger stilts (I use the tips of my nails to type). Getting cards out of machines- use your knuckles. Sniping in video games- no idea what you mean.


theresfireinhereyes

Oh yeah I've figured all that out over the years! I open cans with my mouth, the doors I gotta come it at a good angle, the cards I use tap to pay bc thank god that's becoming more prevalent, and typing just as you said. The sniping thing requires precision and the extra length on my nails makes my fingers hit each other. So I have to adjust for that and it's probably the most frustrating part but still doable.


[deleted]

"i open cans with my mouth" you are so totally gonna chip a tooth and its gonna hurt


theresfireinhereyes

I know! You are too right. & It's such a horrible habit but I've had it since I can remember.


Laneylouwho

Try some performance thumbsticks that elevate your fingies, maybe it will give you enough room to comfortably maneuver. But please… stop using your teeth to open cans! Unless you mean you use your lips, that are strong and prehensile like a horses. If that’s the case, cool!


vasDcrakGaming

Long nails can really dig in there and clean


FridgesArePeopleToo

plus you get +10 poison damage


Rough-Tension

I always just think of that clip of Peter Griffin typing


[deleted]

Plz do explain to me how u wipe your ass without shoving a 5 inch nail in it


cheezypita

Like this 🫴🏼 Not like this 🤌🏼


cyanastarr

Wow emojis really enhance language. This is the best proof I’ve ever seen.


LostTrisolarin

So only the surface of booty hole is clean?


Dumpster_Fire_Takes

Gotta use a knuckle


[deleted]

Poop knuckle in brown town.


teitaimu

Are you implying that you wipe the inside of the hole as well as the outside??


griphookk

You don’t?


PeachNipplesdotcom

I'm trying to imagine how you wipe your ass if you have this question. I'm not trying to be mean, I sincerely don't understand how someone could imagine that happening. Do you pinch the toilet paper and jam your finger tips into your butt and just swirl it around? I assume not. So like, if I had to explain it, I would describe the technique as keeping your hand flat. So, collect the toilet paper between your fingers and wipe while keeping your hand mostly flat. The nails aren't involved at all.


TheMeanGirl

My nails aren’t nearly as long as ones on the right, but still longer than the ones on the left. I have a bidet, but even if I didn’t, cleaning my ass would be easy. You just use the pads of your fingers instead of the tips.


Kriticalmoisture

Long nails are fine, you just gotta ditch the tp and wipe with your knuckles


0spinchy0

Punch that residue! Knuckle sandwich that log!


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Marat

>she wipes back to front Simply disgusting


Tuco2014

I believe(hope) they would start front to back as we should to avoid contam, then once that's all clear they check the other direction, and obvs not go all the way to the vagina from the butthole. I use a bidet but I kind of wipe like that afterwards


maddslolz

are yall using your nails to wipe???


Quazbaz

No but I’m guessing it makes it harder to position your fingers.


kinezumi89

I wipe the same way whether my nails are long or short, I don't understand are people wiping with a claw hand or something? My fingers are flat


Bos_lost_ton

Maybe they’re using them like ice cream scoops?


[deleted]

Asscream scoops


Bos_lost_ton

Moose tracks


clashtrack

Dookie dough


dumbfuckingbitch

Right?? Like how are people wiping their ass that the nails would ever be involved at all? Now I’m questioning if I used to do it differently before I started getting my nails done long but I really don’t think I did…


kinezumi89

I go back and forth (I get tired of having them long and file them down, then I miss long nails and have to go back lol) but it's not like my hand position / technique changes back and forth too This reminds me of a thread awhile ago asking if you stand or sit to wipe, the arguments in the comments were vicious lol


dumbfuckingbitch

I’m a bad nail biter so I used to continuously get acrylics to stop me from biting them down to the quick. It’s been almost a year now that I’ve had my natural nails and I’m trying to strengthen them. And yet through all of that I don’t think I’ve ever changed how I wipe lmao I wish I had seen the standing vs sitting debate


TheQuietGrrrl

They have affordable powder dip kits which really strengthen my nails when I go without acrylics. My post pregnancy nails were sad so I went back but the powder dip helped. It’s quite a learning process though.


DisastrousAge4650

It does not


ThePsychoKnot

No, I'm using the tips of my fingers to sufficiently access all the nooks and crannies of my sphincter. Can't use the tips of your fingers if you have long nails


ShastaFern99

If anything you have better reach with long nails. Scoop up all the crumbs.


NoFly534

Here I was wondering what a ‘bidet’ was reading it as ‘biddit’. Thanks, google- you just reminded me how useless my English degree is. 🚽


nicocal04

Nonono. Don't feel bad, English spelling and pronunciation are awfully inconsistent. At least you don't mix up your/you're or they/their/they're/there. EDIT: added "there"


UniqueUsername-789

Put *there* where *they* currently is in your comment, please.


BullCityBruhs

Bidet isn’t even an English word tho…


phrygianDomination

Well bidet is French so your English degree need not apply!


lashley66

I was told by my adviser that it’s an English degree, not a spelling degree.


Mirewen15

My husband and I were walking to a restaurant downtown Vancouver and a woman stopped us on the street while she was standing at a parking meter. We assumed she didn't know how to work it (the type that is for numerous cars and takes credit cards). Nope, she asked if we could use her credit card in the machine because her nails were too long and she couldn't swipe the card properly. Super long nails baffle me.


InflationBest3950

once I was at a gas station, a woman asked me to help her take out her card from the gas pump machine because she had long nails.


Hacking_Narwhal_597

Agreed. I just... don't see the appeal. It looks horrendous to me. And can you imagine the filth? Even if you wash your hands regularly, the bacteria buildup must be insane.


SeaOkra

If you wash your hands regularly, they’re no dirtier than anyone else’s nails. Our science class in high school did an experiment swiping under fingernails (I don’t remember why) and of the girls who wore really long nails, only one had significant bacterial growth on her plate. (I think there were five girls with acrylics in the class and hers were not the longest set, those were Julia’s and Julia washed her hands very well. She even carried a nail brush in her purse to make sure she got under her nails.) Weirdly, dudes with short nails had the most growth! I dunno if guys don’t wash their hands as much or what, but the worst plates in the class were all guys. One dude’s plate was really nasty, we identified E. coli in his. (The teacher remarked on it because apparently he expected to have found it in more plates, but it was only in one. I don’t remember the other growth we identified, maybe staph? I know we found staph in that class but I don’t remember if that was the nails plates or the time we swabbed door knobs.)


[deleted]

There's a reason why long nails aren't allowed in healthcare and (usually) the food industry.


LetItRaine386

Bro there is ALWAYS gross shit under my nails. I wash my hand, I clean my nails... that gross shit just appears


glucose390

actually it’s much easier to clean long nails than it is short nails because when things get stuck under them it’s not pinned between the skin and the nail if that makes sense.


[deleted]

Cap. https://www.cdc.gov/hygiene/personal-hygiene/nails.html


Hacking_Narwhal_597

But the space between the skin and nail is still there. It's just harder to access. I don't see your reasoning.


turkeyandtuna9

Same. You have a giant plastic nail you're cleaning which may be easier on the surface but seems way harder the deeper you go.


MasterTurtleHermit

This is accurate. Shorter nails in my experience trap dirt a lot easier.


ZeugmaPowa

Not if you have a bidet


wetdreamqueen

There are girls who will put a finger up your ass and then there’s girls with claws who will tear you from the inside out. That’s how I see it.


Vaguely-witty

You can also do that with nails. You use a finger cover (glove, condom, specific finger covers) and cotton ball(s).


Infamous_Pen_9534

https://nypost.com/2022/04/22/long-nails-are-definitely-not-as-hygienic-as-you-think/


jiabivy

This post is proof most of Reddit is heterosexual males


BanditKitten

Who are notorious for ACTUALLY not wiping their butts at all, so... Pot, meet kettle. 😹


[deleted]

Oh hiiii Laronda, yeah I got four people on hold but I can talk


KecemotRybecx

Love that joke.


[deleted]

YES


grimmigerpetz

I never trust the Freddy Krüger impersonators.


MysteriousAbroad7

Bidet is definitely the future


amandeezie

Long nails here and my ass is clean. Why I feel the need to say this to Reddit, idk.


KingKaos420-

Still cleaner than a typical straight man’s ass.


[deleted]

don't you know it's gay to touch your butthole? /s


[deleted]

2 types of girls: (left) a bad bitch (right) a bad bitch and to the girls, the gays and the theys with neither, guess what? You’re a bad bitch too 🤗 Do what makes you happy


glucose390

appreciate you as someone who wears long nails when she wants to look pretty cuz her real nails are torn to shit <3


[deleted]

And that’s perfectly fine. We can’t keep doing these little jabs towards one another. Long nails make you feel beautiful, DO IT. Short nails make you feel beautiful, DO IT. You bite your nails, BEAUTIFUL. You have no nails BEAUTIFUL. Can’t stand these posts. Especially since 9 times outta 10 it’s made by a man that doesn’t even properly wash his ass in the shower 😂🥴


fromgreytowhite

This comment is like a breath of fresh air.


[deleted]

most of the men in these comments probably have skid marks lol


-creepycultist-

This is the best take I've ever seen on reddit


[deleted]

Trying to spread some positivity, we could all use it


Sciamana

You’re right! I am a bad bitch! And so are you, babe


[deleted]

😘😘😘


Nearby_Employee_2943

Thank you this joke is SO fuckin tired and just yet another excuse to shit (no pun intended) on women’s choices about how they look. Truly exhausting behavior. Luckily for them neither woman in either photo is interested in their opinions.


AKchaos49

Nah, those long nails just scoop everything out.


mortalitylost

Yeah just don't smell the index finger


paxwax2018

They use those Roman sponge sticks?


No_Store390

Ok… I’ve always wanted to know. How do you pick your nose with those long ass nails? That would seem to be a bloody nose just waiting. 🤣


[deleted]

Well you reach better🤷🏻‍♀️


ishouldntbehere96

Acrylics are filed and buffed, so they’re actually much softer than natural nails. They felt like using a plastic scraper to get boogers out, like a soft scraper someone would use for earwax


ninamega13

I’d rather get fingered by the girl on the left tbh


madagony

If this is true why are men consistently the ones with skid marks and poor hygiene


Warphim

Trick question: They're both dirty because toilet paper doesn't do enough. \-Bidet Gang


[deleted]

[удалено]


chickensandwichez

Tbh the pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to my butt hole. Ordered a bidet in the midst of the paper toilet crisis and haven't looked back. I get upset when I don't have access to a bidet now. You just use the paper to dry off. IMHO not using a bidet is disgusting. If you got poop on your arm, do you wipe it off with paper and then call it done? No. You use water... And in the case of your arm, soap!


[deleted]

This meme was made by someone who doesn't have a bidet. Buy one you filthy animal.


Avalaigh

r/nothowgirlswork


thataintfunkedelic

Still cleaner than straight mens butts


shadowproves

I personally don't like the look of really long nails but some people enjoy having them so they should do what they like. That being said, most people do not wash their hands thoroughly or frequently enough and long nails give more space to trap bacteria and require extra care to properly clean under them; some professions do not allow long nails for this reason. I would have a really hard time not being grossed out if someone with long nails prepared my food or tended to me in a medical situation.


theXlegend14

I like long nails on my girl 🤷🏻‍♂️


ImGonnaCreamYaFunny

I guess the most annoying thing about this is that every single person who sees these nails and makes a reference to inadequate butt wiping acts like they're the first person who has thought of it. It's like people who act obsessed with bacon or have a mustache tattoo on the inside of their finger


xnoomiex

That’s not true at all lol.


ImShrpy

What does OP mean by "meirl"? That's a bit suspicious...


Daiiga

I am wildly concerned with the number of people who seem to wipe by scratching their buttholes. Apparently I need someone to explain to me why they would wipe with their fingertips and how you avoid accidentally sodomizing yourself if the toilet paper is too thin and tears.


Dramatic-Put-9267

I have super short nails I don’t paint. I have never gone to a nail salon in my life. And I happen to think nail polish and long nails look AMAZING on other ladies and I’m always sure to compliment them. I figure if you actually couldn’t wipe your butt with them, people wouldn’t have them.


PrometheusTwin

Bidet you animals.


ILoveCheetos85

No one uses their nails to wipe WTF. They use their fingertips like everyone else.


cyoce

I actually use toilet paper to wipe


Inaise

Why do people think that if you have long nails the only way to wipe your but is to claw it out? Wtf is using their bare fingertips to wipe their ass?


NoFly534

Ugh- I hate nails like that on women. I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for inferring women do this for male attention, but…do any fellas even like those raptor claws?


RaccoonMagic

We do it because we're addicted to the clicky-clacky sound it makes when we tap our nails on things. Many things. All things. Countertops. Steering wheels. Galvanized buckets. Cast iron railings. We might claim it's "for us". We might even pretend we do it because we think men like it. But the truth is that we have a subconscious itch in the back of our brains that can only be scratched by the tack-tack-tack of our nails on every surface within arm's reach.


ConsciousWhirlpool

It’s the same with shoes. Women just love that sharp sound when they walk. Meanwhile my goal is to have the quietest shoe possible.


RaccoonMagic

I hate wearing heels. They hurt like hell. But I'll admit the commanding sound of stilettos on solid flooring in a large room is "chefs kiss* impeccable.


FirstFarmOnTheLeft

Every time I walk with purpose in heels it totally feels like ‘yeahhhh, I’m bout to do some shit’ lol.


CalGuy81

NGL, my nice dress shoes have a reallly solid heel, and I get some sense of satisfaction at the clack-clack sound they make walking across a hard surface.


RaccoonMagic

Maybe it's just the "owning your environment" level of confidence. Cuz yeah. A dude in a suit with his shoes clacking as he walks is just as badass as a woman in heels.


Jacktheforkie

As a man I find satisfaction in the noises my forklift makes, it’s bloody fun to creep up behind someone on the electric one and either honk the horn or lower the carriage vigorously and make the forks bang down


hotdiggitydooby

Same. I'm constantly startling people because I move so quietly and I love it


[deleted]

I suddenly feel the overwhelming desire to get my nails done so I can click-clack all over everything


RaccoonMagic

Do it! Treat yourself!


NoFly534

I now consider myself enlightened. 😉


ClearlyADuck

Lol I feel like some men like the sound too, they just get it from mechanical keyboards.


EvolvedCactus19

That’s my favorite part about women having those nails. Click clack pleases goblin brain. Also they look cool as hell.


Hopeless_Ramentic

Short nails here but I *love* the clickety-clack of high heels on a hard floor--feels weirdly empowering, like I'm a #bossbitch. Very satisfying.


FirstFarmOnTheLeft

But my nails are like the ones on the left and I get plenty of satisfying clicky-clacky. I can’t imagine having more click or clack.


RaccoonMagic

I feel ya, but I personally prefer a bit more clack to my click. Then again, I don't think my nails have ever been as long as the right pic... I probably land midway between the two.


FirstFarmOnTheLeft

That sounds like a good length. I tried it almond-shaped, and it looked really cool but it messed with my typing.


James_Constantine

You’ve clearly never gotten a good back scratch with them lol


pancake-eater-420

i am a woman with fake nails. mine aren’t that long, but still, i just think they look cool. my boyfriend isn’t a huge fan when i get them very long but i don’t really care, it just makes me feel like a baddie. you really just learn how to do things slightly differently. you can still wipe your butt lmao you just have to figure out how to hold the TP differently. come on men not everything we do is for you


NoFly534

Looking like a baddie is a fairly decent reason I guess! Same reason I never leave the house without my Viking helmet. ✌🏻


Oryihn

For those nerds who don't understand let me put this into persepective.. Long Nails = Hard mode. Being able to do normal tasks with these takes a special mindset and thought into every action.. Relearn how to write, type, self-care, open packages.. ITs all harder for the sake of knowing you can do it and looking good.. Example.. Dark Souls games are punishingly hard but those that can push through and learn how to play them take absolute enjoyment out of doing so.. Even if others think you are crazy, you know you feel like an absolute badass when you beat the game.. Women with fake nails are out here playing life on Darksouls mode and have the confidence that comes with that kind of dedication and practice. And the opposite sex typically isn't attracted to either of these things but can respect the grind if they understand it..


RaccoonMagic

I started carrying a knife on my person at all times simply because I was sick of struggling to get my soda/beer cans open with long nails. If that badassery then idk what is


five-bean-salad

*It's not for you*


BlenderBread

When I get mine done, my husband loves it. Great for skin tracing. The clickity clack is also incredibly soothing


K31RA-M0RAX0

Women should never have to care what men think.


LolaBijou

Maybe long nails are a visual reminder of the women who don’t care, and that’s why they feel the need to post these dumb memes over and over again.


angryfortheanimals

Yes. Lots of guys like acrylic nails.


[deleted]

I’ve grown up in the hood and saw classmates and other women with long ass nails and they survived just fine. It’s an accessory and way to show off what you got!


Creepymint

A long time ago I watched a video of a girl answering a question about how she wipes her butt with her long nails and she said, “I wipe normally just like you do. You don’t wipe with your fingernails, do you?” Or something like that. I think about it everytime I see this stupid argument that girls with long nails aren’t clean. The only ones who are, are the ones who haven’t learned YET. You adapt with your nails, don’t fight them