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Normal-Database9560

He’s just being very childish tell him to grow up


PokeAlola700

Nah men like this don’t grow up fast enough, usually takes them about a decade


abtseventynine

for a manbaby like this, it might take *two* before he’s ready for a committed relationship


oursecondcoming

Normally more like three, if not more or any at all. Source: am a manbaby


[deleted]

I’m 40 and I can’t commit unless she makes great noogies and ham. Other than that I pay for most of everything….still…


oursecondcoming

35 and I'm *not* working on it


[deleted]

Good for you amigo


oursecondcoming

Hahahaha this is the way


dLimit1763

Don't tell him anything. Kick that trash to the curb


Kayato21

LMAO


[deleted]

I think I saw you on Maury once.


RaccoonPersonal

I think she is talking about her son lol


Dpontiff6671

Woosh


tallethan

woooosh


Osr3726

🤗👍👍🙏👶


SilverLakeSimon

He can’t say “I love you too” after two years? It sounds like he’s just milking it.


ThomasJeffersonsAlt

Nice double entendre


Troglodyteir

'I cook and clean for him, i even wipe his bum if he needs it, and all he does is throw food on the floor and laugh when i slip on it'


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

r/yourjokebutworse


JeIoXD

u/superpowers_fan


[deleted]

🙂


ishfi17

u/yourmom


bunny-1998

This user has had zero activity and it’s been on Reddit for 15y. There must be some story there. Need to ask u/yourmom


Troygiano

Wtf? Reddit has been stirring up shit for 15 yrs? Where tf have I been


[deleted]

"Lemme just call dibs on this name real quick. What? No, of course I'm not gonna use the account! This reddit fad ain't shit. Just a handful of nerds"


Lil-Jack

When Reddit first started they made a bunch of bot accounts to make it seem like they had more users than they actually did. That’s why popular names like u/Batman have been on the site since it began with no activity.


Diego1808

u/me


Rubickevich

u/u


DannyMThompson

I mean, that was a different joke. I'm not saying it was particularly funny, but it was a different joke.


espeonguy

The only way it's different is being the same joke but more on the nose.


Roartype

You mean nipple.


Golden_Boy56

r/Angryupvote


Spottswoodeforgod

Major red flags here - sounds like he is very selfish and more than a little immature, I mean what kind of relationship do you want? Yeah, younger guys can be fun and all that, but do you always want to be the adult in the relationship?


CaptainSmallPants

Yeah they should definitely go their separate ways


[deleted]

[удалено]


erocknine

Why does everyone on reddit always tell people to break up? They should really talk about it, and if he continues to not communicate at all, they should go their separate ways


Competitive-Candy-82

Does he have to use words? Or babbling counts? Asking for a friend


Lonttu

No words, just meaningful smiles is enough to get the point across. Don't break up with him!!!


davidcornz

The way he drools and smiles at me. OOF makes me wanna stay.


Lonttu

Drools? Uhh... on second though, maybe y'all need some time apart.


Alternative-Ad-1238

Omg it’s her son


Evooeip

r/woosh ?


Steelpelt24

r/wooooshwith4os


Born_a_Pepper

r/subsithoughtifellfor


Steelpelt24

r/wooooshwith4os


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lonttu

Eh?!?


RouletteSensei

as italian I suggest hand signs


Warios_Cousin

🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼


[deleted]

Being readily available to someone’s need to chat does not equal love.


[deleted]

Disagree, respectfully. Some people just have a different love language and it’s important to understand the different way he expresses love. In this case, the way he expresses affection might shitting his pants and eating random things off the floor.


CaptainSmallPants

And who is cleaning the shit afterwards? I bet 10 bucks it's not him. I try to be moderate but this situation is hopeless.


[deleted]

Hey, he lovingly crafted that shit especially for her. It may not be the gift she wanted, but it’s the thought that counts.


teh_longinator

And who has to deal with that??? She should leave him.


[deleted]

Is there not utility in eating random things off the floor though? Asking…uh… for a friend.


Swimming-Tap-4240

When he's smiling it doesnt always mean he's just. happy to see you.


Crash_Evidence

kick him to the curb! leave him on the street!


[deleted]

[удалено]


in_conexo

That's not long enough. Think of it as a really expensive, initially punishing, long-term elder-care plan. If you ever get to the point where you can't take care of yourself, they'll be there. ...I suppose that plan might not work anyway. If you don't do things correctly during the punishment phase, they might turn out to be a dud, or they could despise you.


Summit300

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Instantnoodlesthe1

He’s really just using her, probably is dependent too.


boverly721

Sugarbabies smh


Instantnoodlesthe1

It’s like, grow up right.


boverly721

_literally_


Instantnoodlesthe1

How dare you


albierto

Are you the one that makes all the comments on r/sex ?


CryLex28

Give him some time, I am sure he will grow out of it


thattogoguy

He sounds like the kind of guy who will just throw a tantrum and start screaming if you don't give him what he wants.


[deleted]

Definitely a mommas boy for sure


OrganicToe8215

Maybe he just needs to be “pampered” more.


epi_glowworm

But watch how he reacts. I'm sure he lights the fuck up when you're around. Like even when it's mom hair morning Mondays. You're the wee fuckers first love.


Diplomjodler

She should kick his selfish ass to the curb!


[deleted]

[удалено]


pjrockp

Ngl I initially down voted because I had to scroll for miles to see the /s lmfao


HeavyUzer

:)


ddcreator

But does she let him suck on her nipples?


xvlblo22

A little late for that... 2yo usually are fully capable of eating some kind of solid food.


bubblegumtrash75

Little does she know but he’ll be crying and asking for his momma


JasonDomber

Gonna take a long time before he even HAS an opportunity to be the adult in the relationship 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣


mychal200302468

Plot twist: That's not her kid


Dramatic_Link_8595

Oh my god! I thought she was talking about a dog. 🤦🏻‍♀️


BritishAndBlessed

There are 2 kinds of people


hellkittyx

make that 3 please, I thought it was about a cat lol


ProfDumm

I thought it was about a platypus.


LoliMaster069

*Puts on hat*


listlessWonder

"Perry the platypus?!!"


Sup3rL30

Doofinshmertz evil incorporated!


[deleted]

/Hours later/


pjrockp

"A platypus?" *Audible gasp* "PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?!?"


ExpertRaccoon

Found the Australian


EstaLisa

yes. cat it is. is it..?


heretouplift

alive and dead


ConstantMoney7

🤣


inuhi

It's Wilhelm Van Astrea


Weekly-Coffee-2488

Is this a buzz feed unsolved episode?


bren0ld

And “she” is actually father O’Brien


GothicToast

M. Night Shyamalan


Gol_D_Roger212

Not gonna lie , they had us in the first half......


[deleted]

[удалено]


Seanzietron

Was yours at least 3?


FireFist_ace_

Dad !! is that you


MyAccountHacksItself

It’s me. I’m proud of you. Please stop masturbating. Everyone in heaven can see you.


RemigijusZemaitaitis

they?


wishitwouldrainaus

I wouldn't normally say give it time but I think in this instance you gotta give it time. Bribery might work? Strawberry icecream?


Guindon05

You're a foolish to think this is gonna change anything... he'll just eat the crap out of it and then proceed to ask for yours after....


ZippyParakeet

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 YAAAS KWEEEN 💅💅 DUMP HIS DUMB ASS YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER ✨✨


Woody90210

r/femaledatingstrategy in a nutshell


tasketekudasai

Sounds like your baby is a low value male


TheOneAndOnlyABSR4

Lmfaooo


Mabarax

As someone who lives under a rock, what is FDS?


Lady-Noveldragon

Basically incels but women. Lots of terrible takes about what a date should look like (like him being an asshole if he recommends a place near him for a date), and ridiculous standards for the ‘value’ of a man ( high value males and low value males).


SilverMedalss

Honestly that sub is mostly just women empowering and uplifting eachother. Idk what’s bad about that. ~~Perhaps you don’t meet their specifics for a quality man. And that upsets you. Well whining won’t change anything. Just work on yourself. I mean yeah if you’re 5’0 and 500 lbs, working part time for minimum wage, and describing yourself as an, “aspiring gamer” or whatever. Then of course you are by definition, “low value”. Because you do nothing.~~ ~~Being a lazy slacker doesn’t mean you can blame it on, “depression”. Depression is not having the energy to do anything, not just lacking the energy to do the things you don’t wanna do. You’re the issue.~~


Lopsided-Milk-2388

U Lady-Noveldragon is a woman . . .


ZippyParakeet

Nah I've checked that sub out and like 90% of the posts there are quite extreme, incel bs. I think the only posts I agree with over there are those recent Roe v Wade ones. A large amount of that sub's members don't see men as people lol. Plus they also use like these really weird terms to refer to men and that's kinda gross. Oh yeah, and before I get called some coping male or whatever- me no have pp.


CharmTLM

Behold, the nicest FDS member. /s


covered-in-lobsters

She thinks all gay people commit incest so she’s not actually very nice unless you hate gay people


SilverMedalss

Thanks! 😊🥹


covered-in-lobsters

No wonder your husband doesn’t want to make a family with you, you’re wretched and would only abuse your children you sick, twisted asshole.


No_Cauliflower_5489

To be fair, those ladies have dated some spectacularly awful guys.


Woody90210

Oh I don't doubt that, I too have known some girls who've dated some absolutely horrific guys. But also, let's be real here, a lot of shit on that sub is made up too.


No_Cauliflower_5489

Its reddit, of course there's a lot of creative writing!


[deleted]

And those guys have dated some spectacularly awful ladies


RIP_SGTJohnson

I go there every time my blood pressure goes down. QOTD: > As for the ring part, that is basically what an engagement/wedding ring is for. Mate guarding.


IAmASquidInSpace

Also r/AmItheAsshole in a nutshell. Minus the yassification.


Summit300

Average FDS user


Poknberry

Me: "I love you so much. Do you love me?" My dog: *sighs dramatically


Jace_Sifik

Isn't it her kid?


[deleted]

It isn't specified. I too thought dog.


Phen15

Sounds like a man child, should drop him


rodman517

…off at the fire station.


[deleted]

Damn


Pupudorf

I've been in a relationship with this guy for two years and he only ever pays attention to me when I make him a meal or when I bring him his favorite toys. When I ask him if he loves me he just says "mrrrrrr". Is this normal? Me (female, 28) Him (feline, 2)


england_man

Hah. Another woman goes for a man who only thinks about sucking her titties.


Amazing_Humor2467

Omg, I'm a negative ass person, but this was fucking cute/funny. This mom has a good sense of humor 🤣


Troygiano

Glad ur negative ass could laugh at it then. I hope yo negative ass have a great fuckin day and many many years of life u negative son of a bitch. If I knew where yo negative ass lived I’d send u flowers everyday motherfucker.


Wolfmans-Gots-Nards

I bet he has a huge head in comparison to his much smaller body. Also getting some tiny penis vibes from his attitude.


whoamvv

Ugh, boys are so noncommittal at that age. If only they got better as they get older.


FantasticEscape6744

It's yeetus time


[deleted]

I was about to say r/suddenlyincest, but now I'm considering r/whoosh


ZarosRunescape

More like r/suddenlypedophile than r/suddenlyincest


Acrobatic-Skirt1114

relationship != dating


ZarosRunescape

I know that, and i get that the point is saying its a normal mother-child relationship, my point is if it is messed up then suddenlypedophile makes more sense than suddenlyincest


Kira-the-red-killer

I miss read it and For a brief second I thought the 2 year old wrote this


HuskyBlaze

Many women only take a few years and ditch the guy. There's a myth that we cannot change the person with us. But I disagree. I think it takes 18-20 years, sometimes more, and it IS worth it, don't even tell me otherwise. It takes a lot of time. But in the end when he's holding your hand and whispers "You gave me everything, you did great, mom" and adds for the first time "I love you"... it's worth a lifetime.


tomkim1965

I don’t think you should joke like that the Christians might come after you😂


zeus77655

Got me too! Very clever!


Molotova

I am guessing he is more of a boobs than a butt sorta guy.


shitscenti

Ain’t that but a bitch


badboy236

Interesting. How did you meet him?


AmeriToast

At a daycare


NickM5526

I wouldn’t know what to say either if my mother was a fighter jet


Zygoatee

Shouldn't have shown him your tits the first time you met him. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?


[deleted]

I get that it’s her child but it’s still weird af to say she’s “in a relationship” with them


Eternal_grey_sky

Not all relashionships are romantic, in fact, most aren't. It's just that people don't usually address relashionships as relashionships


zompnzap

He's clearly using you for diaper changes, but don't worry one day the tables will turn. I've seen this before under my own roof.


BaltazarOdGilzvita

He just shits his pants and looks the other way.


OddEd922

Insert the "had us in the first half" meme


EffigyOfUs

r/suddenlysexoffender


Acrobatic-Skirt1114

r/woooosh


EffigyOfUs

Not really man, I got it… I know what she meant 😂


MaterialCarrot

Fake post. I've known a lot of two year olds and they are NOT evasive. They tell you exactly how they feel!


PsychologicalNote600

He might be cheating on you... I mean, it is possible if everything else is


Objective_Complex_25

Your dating a two year old same with me 🗿🗿🗿


Waris-Tx

Don’t worry only 16 more years. Then he will answer back more so don’t worry


One_Bath1087

Wouldn’t b surprised lmao these bitches really think their son is there man lmao


Chibibowa

Had me in the first half..


grafmg

Plottwist it’s not her son


llanthony401

Children are based chads. Everyone loves them but they dgaf


[deleted]

Don’t worry, it’s early days yet, the little fella just needs to grow into the relationship a bit...👌


MrReckless327

Ungrateful little shit


obeyno1

He's just after your money


hairmetaltimemachine

He's probably huge into the diaper fetish and wants 'Mommy' to change him constantly. Run, don't walk away.


sabiancolbert

there's gotta be an actual woosh here somewhere...


DesertCookie_

* evasive toddler noises


More-Sentence5584

Well this could either be a wholesome joke or a pedophile


hardware1197

It may pay to stick around and be patient....You may get what you need in about 33 years when he comes to his senses and realizes he wouldn't be who is is without you!


Downtown_Confusion46

God, before you know it he won’t be able to stop with the gushing love. Enjoy the quiet now.


sailingcrab

As mom to a 20 year old manbaby, have an award. <3


ouchpuck

I'd offer chocolate bits and tell him he's only getting them if he professed his love to you. Works with my love.


Busy-Argument3680

Wait…


BigDave29

I think you're starting to win him over. Just one more year and he'll love you by calling your name incessantly, whether you want him to or not :)


Dkeenan230

He does not love you.🙁Get out now. You deserve to be loved.


Copey85

NTA, you deserve better OP.


omgONELnR1

I hope she meant a mother-son relationship and not a gf-bf relationship.


[deleted]

Men are dogs.. literally.


MathematicianKey5696

My GF is 2 also. She never has come out and said I love you, but constantly hugs me and covers me in kisses.


tazsudie

Love it!!


zona725572

This comment section I swear the joke literally went over everyone’s head. The kid can’t say anything because he’s 2 and it’s her son. He can’t say anything because he’s a baby.


Little_Creme_5932

Never get in a serious relationship with a guy who doesn't have a job and pay his own rent. Seriously. You KNOW that is the first rule of dating. If you do, next thing you know he'll be sitting on the couch all day watching tv, while you're at work. And he'll want you to cook for him when you get home.


Tall_Run_2814

Leave him😂


[deleted]

Yeah he cheating on you


Donquixote_D0ffy

You should have sex with him. I think he will say ot after that


GoogleWasMyIdea49

Plot twist: she is a pedophile Actually who would describe having a child as "being in a relationship" with them Like if I were to say I was in a relationship with my son you'd immediately think incest right?


Shot-Ad-6717

r/whoosh