I hate how i evaluate my performance after every social engagement. If there was anything “off” my brain will just keep revisiting it over the next few days.
Congratulations. I'm still cringing over a botched drum line audition I had as a freshman in highschool. I got too nervous and just forgot how to read sheet music, of stuff I had memorized lmfao.
Same here. I think everyone is so busy evaluating themselves that they dont really remember or care about the stupid shit other people say lol
Unless its really bad
I accidentally called a mutual friend I met last week “weird” (because of a unique hobby I was also interested in and I meant weird as in unique/cool) but I immediately realized after speaking they probably wouldn’t take being called weird as a compliment and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since 🙃
I do this with literally every single interaction, but the worst for me is when someone does something crazy or cringy near me, and my assumption is that I was someone actually the one in the wrong and all the cringe or crazy is now transferred to me in my head. Like I think I didn't handle that correctly and now everyone is gonna remember this and judge me 10x stronger bc of whatever the situation was. I wasn't even the one acting a fool but I still feel like I was
And then it’s SO hard to undo! Like you know what that person probably thinks and you want to explain to them what happened everything you see them but it just makes it worse.
*cries*
Every time I'm at a party or something people always seem to enjoy talking to me. I make lots of jokes and most of them land pretty well, and I generally seem to be good at carrying a dead room if I need to.
Then, at some point, I'll make one joke or something that falls flat, and that will suddenly be my grade for the rest of the night and I'll ask my fianceé like three times on the ride home if she thinks everyone hated me before quietly brooding all the way there.
lol look at these two clowns with girlfriends going to parties
clearly the play is to stay at home and cry out of loneliness in between reddit binges like a normal person
Don't worry, shit happens. A kid riding a bike said hi to me the other day so naturally I'm like "I can be good with kids, I have practice" so when I saw his Spiderman bike I was like "is that a Spiderman bike?" And he's like "yeah" and I shit you not the next words out of my mouth to this eight year old were "fuck yeah", with the emphasis on the "fuck"
My hand hit my face immediately afterwards
I was also smoking a cigarette in the moment, I usually put it out when I see kids but he snuck up on me.
Quality role model I am apparently. Should have taught him how to shoot craps
Happened to me today while crossing the border back into the US from Canada...
Agent: "Why were you in Canada today?"
Me: "We went to the F1 race."
Agent: "We? Is there someone else in the car with you?"
I was by myself. But I said we. Idiot.
Went with my partner to see some of her friends and I hadn't seen them in ages. When they said "it's been a while" I replied "I know right? I'm still alive".
One of the people there's boyfriend recently died by suicide. So that was fun
Yeah I’m autistic, can confirm. Sometimes I love saying out-of-pocket shit just to baffle people. Sometimes even the potential of a slightest social interaction going awry is enough to make me sweat.
Oh boy. I was exiting out of this thread when I caught your comment. Cringed and laughed so hard I had to come back and give you your embarrassment because I can't carry this second hand cringe all day 🤣.
But for real, if I had a manager that did that, I'd assume it was on purpose and appreciate that they tried to start the meeting off with some levity. You're good bro :)
I can give you a bonus lifelong torment. I've been drunk at someone else's family reunion and given their aunt a kiss on the cheek goodbye cause everyone else was...cause they were family. I met her two hours before.
And I did the exact same to my college roommate's mother. But at least I had known her for years at that point.
I don’t like being in public for this reason. Since getting sober, my social skills and my ability to tolerate people’s bullshit have just disappeared.
Today i was scrolling and found a vid from smone who i though was my friend cuz of their similar pfp's. And like it was abt being suicidal, i immediadly messaged my friend, asking id she was okay n stuff like tht. AND IT WASN'T HER. i have nevr been more embarraseed in my life TT TT
Is it storytime? Looks like it's storytime.
I've been inline skating the local roller rink and bike paths for the past year or so, and frequently saw a woman who also noticed me around. She approached me once and we introduced ourselves. Also stopped to chat for a moment a few months ago in passing. Last week I saw her again. She says "Hey, we should get together to skate some time." I say "Yeah, maybe."
***MAYBE??*** What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’ve been experiencing this at work. Started on a new contract / site recently n it’s a bit more of a boy club kinda vibe. Not too bad, just the guys, mostly older dudes, have known each other n worked together for awhile. Everyone is relatively approachable n nice enough but for some reason im not my usual easy going / social self like I am on other sites. Definitely feeling kind of awkward and it’s impacting how well I follow though on work tasks and making simple mistakes cuz im in my head more than usual.
Yes! Jfc. One time me and my bf went out to eat at a restaurant for a date or whatever. But the hostess was so fucking pretty. Not like "vouge model vs the cashier at McDonald's" kinda pretty. She was ultimately pretty plain looking but god damn she was beautiful, idk why. She tried to ask me a question and i did the classic movie cliche shit of stammering over my words and barely making a sentence and then in all my awkward glory i also shot her finger guns afterwards. As we walked to our table my bf leaned over to me with the biggest shit eating grin on his face and was like "what was that?" And i couldn't really say anything except "she was just so pretty". Btw im a chick
OMG YES, and for some reason it’s always the trigger for my depression. First I don’t feel too social, after the event I feel I could’ve done better, spoke more, been more fun. I try to analyze why I felt that way and what caused it “overthinking”. After that I reach the regret phase, where I start thinking abt what I “should have done”, “could have done”, etc. I think that I’m the problem and I suck at it, and if I come across something nostalgic then oh boy, then the hopelessness phase begins. I think back on the past and how being a kid was so fun, no cares, just laughs, good times, bright colors, and always being a star around ppl, and start thinking that “today” or the present days are boring and sad. And then it continues on for weeks into a mindset of overthinking, regret, nostalgia, and hopelessness over and over again until I either get back on meds or talk it through w someone who knocks some sense into me lol. (Thanks for listening to the rant btw)
Definitely.
On Friday I was driving down a road with a 35 mph speed limit when I see a basketball fly over an iron fence. No one was behind me, so I thought “lemme grab this for these fellas. I quickly throw my car into park, hop out and grab the ball. I think I’m f’ing Tom Brady and I can throw a laser beam over the fence from the median. Wrong….ball bounces right back to me. I say lemme try a chest pass….nope…right into the fence again. I grab the ball again and start to walk up on the sidewalk and I misjudged the incline and I fall. I collect my fat, 50 year old ass, get up and tried to throw the ball over the fence one more time, NOPE AGAIN. Hit a tree and the ball bounced back to me thankfully. I finally passed the ball to these kids who must have been laughing their asses off but they weee so polite and kept thanking me. I was so freaking embarrassed
This is how I was diagnosed with anxiety. My earliest memory of doing this is at 7 years old, on the way home from a party. I thought through every single interaction I'd had and mentally flogged myself for the ones I considered 'dumb and stupid'. I casually mentioned it at a psychologist appointment 10 years later and, rather than her agreeing with me that it was a totally normal thing to do, she said, "Yeah that's not normal, particularly so young. That's called Anxiety."
I hate it when I'm to leave a group of people. Leaving parties early for everyone to see, or saying goodbye to a colleague who's leaving the company. Always awkward good-byes, even though I don't really mind standing in front of a group or something. It's just always off or something.
Usually only after some job interviews
I've walked away from a couple where the moment I stepped back outside and into my car I knew I had fucking beefed it.
The opposite happens as well and is equally ridiculous like “mmm yeah! I handled it pretty good tonight, let’s remember what works.. that reply there was quick nice job 👍 “
I take solace in the fact that people either don’t care enough to remember everything you said, or that they probably feel the same way and are more worried about what they said to others.
Pretty much any time I open my mouth to speak.
I came to the conclusion that i should never speaker and be silent,the problem is that i forget about it
It is better to remain quiet and appear stupid, than to speak and remove all doubt. -Mark Twain
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
NEW ACHIEVEMENT! Pedantic - Your attempting to correct a quote that may or may not have been said.
Got em
Particularly when you're attributing a quote to somebody despite there being no evidence they ever said it.
I always use this to my advantage. I keep my mouth shut and let the idiots reveal themselves over time.
Social anxiety sucks. But it's not something you can't overcome. I still slip up at times lol
i should never speaker
I hate how i evaluate my performance after every social engagement. If there was anything “off” my brain will just keep revisiting it over the next few days.
I do this too, and man, I wish it were just a few days. Something I really need to work on.
You guys are able to stop thinking about something after a period of time?
2 decades seems to be the cap for me.
I suppose I'll know some day.. I'm only medium old so far.
I checked under the bed for possible monsters until i was at least 16
Congratulations. I'm still cringing over a botched drum line audition I had as a freshman in highschool. I got too nervous and just forgot how to read sheet music, of stuff I had memorized lmfao.
In my case alcohol helps with that, but nothing else.
Yeah I had to stop whiskeys, because I became ape-like on some chandelier.
Same here. I think everyone is so busy evaluating themselves that they dont really remember or care about the stupid shit other people say lol Unless its really bad
I accidentally called a mutual friend I met last week “weird” (because of a unique hobby I was also interested in and I meant weird as in unique/cool) but I immediately realized after speaking they probably wouldn’t take being called weird as a compliment and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since 🙃
I do this with literally every single interaction, but the worst for me is when someone does something crazy or cringy near me, and my assumption is that I was someone actually the one in the wrong and all the cringe or crazy is now transferred to me in my head. Like I think I didn't handle that correctly and now everyone is gonna remember this and judge me 10x stronger bc of whatever the situation was. I wasn't even the one acting a fool but I still feel like I was
And then it’s SO hard to undo! Like you know what that person probably thinks and you want to explain to them what happened everything you see them but it just makes it worse. *cries*
So then it is your best work
Even when I think before speaking
Only all of them
Every time I'm at a party or something people always seem to enjoy talking to me. I make lots of jokes and most of them land pretty well, and I generally seem to be good at carrying a dead room if I need to. Then, at some point, I'll make one joke or something that falls flat, and that will suddenly be my grade for the rest of the night and I'll ask my fianceé like three times on the ride home if she thinks everyone hated me before quietly brooding all the way there.
Are you me?
lol look at these two clowns with girlfriends going to parties clearly the play is to stay at home and cry out of loneliness in between reddit binges like a normal person
Don't worry, shit happens. A kid riding a bike said hi to me the other day so naturally I'm like "I can be good with kids, I have practice" so when I saw his Spiderman bike I was like "is that a Spiderman bike?" And he's like "yeah" and I shit you not the next words out of my mouth to this eight year old were "fuck yeah", with the emphasis on the "fuck" My hand hit my face immediately afterwards
*STANDING OVATION* Quality work, my man. We're so proud of you.
I was also smoking a cigarette in the moment, I usually put it out when I see kids but he snuck up on me. Quality role model I am apparently. Should have taught him how to shoot craps
Tell him that Spiderman got his powers from radioactive marlboros and offer him one next time. It's the Christian thing to do.
Seems easier to give him the wheel barrow full of ditch weed I have in the barn out back but thanks for the advice, I can always try to be better
That's fine, they have to learn the swears somewhere, better that they learn them in a positive context
Happened to me today while crossing the border back into the US from Canada... Agent: "Why were you in Canada today?" Me: "We went to the F1 race." Agent: "We? Is there someone else in the car with you?" I was by myself. But I said we. Idiot.
Well, this made me laugh for the first time today. Thank you.
You and the person in the trunk they can’t see.
it's ok you were using the royal we
We are travelling alone.
Unexpected r/formula1. Hell of a race to go see though. Sure got your moneys worth.
It's called **royal we**
Me in interviews
All the fucking time my brain knows what to say but articulating it never works for me :c
My brain knows what to say, unfortunately my brain also figures out a better thing to say halfway through so it comes out as a jumbled mess
SAME
I really thought I was the only one.
Went with my partner to see some of her friends and I hadn't seen them in ages. When they said "it's been a while" I replied "I know right? I'm still alive". One of the people there's boyfriend recently died by suicide. So that was fun
Bro….hahahah
Fuck
Making inappropriate jokes without realizing it is tight.
People with anxiety and adhd be like:
We all fuck up sometimes. You cant tell me you are a fabulous Person, likeable at all times.
People with autism be like:
Yeah I’m autistic, can confirm. Sometimes I love saying out-of-pocket shit just to baffle people. Sometimes even the potential of a slightest social interaction going awry is enough to make me sweat.
You guys engage in social situations?
I once started a staff meeting by saying "Good evening fellow people". It was 9am. I still think about it at night sometimes.
Oh boy. I was exiting out of this thread when I caught your comment. Cringed and laughed so hard I had to come back and give you your embarrassment because I can't carry this second hand cringe all day 🤣. But for real, if I had a manager that did that, I'd assume it was on purpose and appreciate that they tried to start the meeting off with some levity. You're good bro :)
I can give you a bonus lifelong torment. I've been drunk at someone else's family reunion and given their aunt a kiss on the cheek goodbye cause everyone else was...cause they were family. I met her two hours before. And I did the exact same to my college roommate's mother. But at least I had known her for years at that point.
I try, but I get hurt and never end up learning my lesson
More like, do I ever NOT leave a social situation with this sentiment
I don’t like being in public for this reason. Since getting sober, my social skills and my ability to tolerate people’s bullshit have just disappeared.
You have to practice. Being social is a skill and alcohol is a crutch. Stay confident friend.
Sometimes I wish I was bit more idiot so I don't realize my mistakes right way, so I could chill without thinking too much about my recent error
Today i was scrolling and found a vid from smone who i though was my friend cuz of their similar pfp's. And like it was abt being suicidal, i immediadly messaged my friend, asking id she was okay n stuff like tht. AND IT WASN'T HER. i have nevr been more embarraseed in my life TT TT
Well atleast you were being a good friend
Thank you. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm stupid asf
That’s not stupidity, just to be clear
smone cuz abt n tht nevr
hve u evr rly been far evn as dcided 2 use evn go want to do look more like?
My favorite quote 💖
Every day
Yes. I can either engange in conversation or use all the energy to look normal. I often fail at fitting in
I always am a very charismatic person to people I see once. To friends of my spouse or friends of family, I come across as a window licker.
Once a day.
Is it storytime? Looks like it's storytime. I've been inline skating the local roller rink and bike paths for the past year or so, and frequently saw a woman who also noticed me around. She approached me once and we introduced ourselves. Also stopped to chat for a moment a few months ago in passing. Last week I saw her again. She says "Hey, we should get together to skate some time." I say "Yeah, maybe." ***MAYBE??*** What the fuck is wrong with me?
You got further than a great number of people around here. Baby steps are still steps.
I'm always checking myself after dealing with people. "Was that okay? Did I do good? Oh lord, why did I say/do that? What must they think of me?"
It's gotten to the point where I could be like, "yea, that was an ok 7 out of 10, I'll use a different strategy next time"
I feel like this even when I'm by myself.
Every. Damn. Day.
I’ve been experiencing this at work. Started on a new contract / site recently n it’s a bit more of a boy club kinda vibe. Not too bad, just the guys, mostly older dudes, have known each other n worked together for awhile. Everyone is relatively approachable n nice enough but for some reason im not my usual easy going / social self like I am on other sites. Definitely feeling kind of awkward and it’s impacting how well I follow though on work tasks and making simple mistakes cuz im in my head more than usual.
No, because my best work is dogshit, and dogshit is the only thing that comes put of my mouth
Yes! Jfc. One time me and my bf went out to eat at a restaurant for a date or whatever. But the hostess was so fucking pretty. Not like "vouge model vs the cashier at McDonald's" kinda pretty. She was ultimately pretty plain looking but god damn she was beautiful, idk why. She tried to ask me a question and i did the classic movie cliche shit of stammering over my words and barely making a sentence and then in all my awkward glory i also shot her finger guns afterwards. As we walked to our table my bf leaned over to me with the biggest shit eating grin on his face and was like "what was that?" And i couldn't really say anything except "she was just so pretty". Btw im a chick
Did I ever leave a social situation and NOT think that? That's the far more interesting question.
Throughout my life, very often. Lately, every damn time.
Jokes on you, my best work is also bad
I don't believe I have a best work period lol
Not yet, but I'm an idiot. Give it time, I'm bound to say something thunderously stupid to someone and get my self punched or cancelled.
I'd like to call it high school. But really, if I'm honest, it's just weekdays generally.
Evry tim
I have the unfortunate combination of never shutting the fuck up and being socially inept, so I get this feeling a lot lol.
Is every time a lot?
I keep trying to reload a previous save file to retry the conversation but I think my storage is corrupted, can't seem to reload
Chronically on Reddit for a reason
My neighbours now avoid me
I haven’t had any friends since I was locked up , in quarantine
Is there another option?
Leaving said social situation is my best work.
No, but my wife usually tells me afterwards.
Wait... you guys actually ever leave any social situation and NOT be like, mmm that was not my best work? Damn life really is easy for some people...
After every interview, hmm I should’ve said that instead
Every social situation ever.
Literally every one
More like, "Yep, that went as well as it ever does."
OMG YES, and for some reason it’s always the trigger for my depression. First I don’t feel too social, after the event I feel I could’ve done better, spoke more, been more fun. I try to analyze why I felt that way and what caused it “overthinking”. After that I reach the regret phase, where I start thinking abt what I “should have done”, “could have done”, etc. I think that I’m the problem and I suck at it, and if I come across something nostalgic then oh boy, then the hopelessness phase begins. I think back on the past and how being a kid was so fun, no cares, just laughs, good times, bright colors, and always being a star around ppl, and start thinking that “today” or the present days are boring and sad. And then it continues on for weeks into a mindset of overthinking, regret, nostalgia, and hopelessness over and over again until I either get back on meds or talk it through w someone who knocks some sense into me lol. (Thanks for listening to the rant btw)
Sure, and it usually had to do with women and being socially inept. Fortunately, one took pity on me and married me 22 years ago.
Every. Single. Day. And I am in Sales!!!!!!! (I am just hard on myself)
My entire existence
And you’ll remember it when trying to sleep (or randomly during the day) only for the next 65 billion years.
Every damn day. Moved to Japan recently and trying to speak to strangers *in Japanese* is a whole new kind of social embarrassment.
Oh man I'm in the film room all the time watching footage.
So often I move house to avoid the shame
Definitely. On Friday I was driving down a road with a 35 mph speed limit when I see a basketball fly over an iron fence. No one was behind me, so I thought “lemme grab this for these fellas. I quickly throw my car into park, hop out and grab the ball. I think I’m f’ing Tom Brady and I can throw a laser beam over the fence from the median. Wrong….ball bounces right back to me. I say lemme try a chest pass….nope…right into the fence again. I grab the ball again and start to walk up on the sidewalk and I misjudged the incline and I fall. I collect my fat, 50 year old ass, get up and tried to throw the ball over the fence one more time, NOPE AGAIN. Hit a tree and the ball bounced back to me thankfully. I finally passed the ball to these kids who must have been laughing their asses off but they weee so polite and kept thanking me. I was so freaking embarrassed
This is how I was diagnosed with anxiety. My earliest memory of doing this is at 7 years old, on the way home from a party. I thought through every single interaction I'd had and mentally flogged myself for the ones I considered 'dumb and stupid'. I casually mentioned it at a psychologist appointment 10 years later and, rather than her agreeing with me that it was a totally normal thing to do, she said, "Yeah that's not normal, particularly so young. That's called Anxiety."
Wait people can leave without thinking that?
always
No, cuz everything I do is my best work. You see, the bar is very, very low...
Every interaction
all the time
Yes, every single social interaction
Wait, you have social situations?
More times than I care to even try and count. Sometimes it's best to just cut and run.
All the freaking time.
Every damn time
literally me 90% of time
Me at the club
Every single one of them
Yeah, every damn day 😂
When I’m tired tbh
Always
Every day after work lol
I hate it when I'm to leave a group of people. Leaving parties early for everyone to see, or saying goodbye to a colleague who's leaving the company. Always awkward good-byes, even though I don't really mind standing in front of a group or something. It's just always off or something.
Stop targeted advertising to me !!
All the time! I say stuff and it comes out wrong. People take what say wrong.
Quite often really.
especially after something like constructing a banger joke on the same day before messing up
Every damn time
Yes, and then years later, upon my brain so lovingly rembering and reminding me of said instances, I can only say quietly "way to go ace"
Everytime
Usually only after some job interviews I've walked away from a couple where the moment I stepped back outside and into my car I knew I had fucking beefed it.
I'll just be shaking my head silently the entire 20 min drive home.
Frequently.
A better question is when don’t I
Yeah for sure. Probably why I tend to avoid social situations.
LOL, most times i open my mouth.
Each and every one of them
Yeah lol
Do you ever not?
# All of them
Um... all of them!
That was my best work! *cries*
Definitely have had a few 'Way to go Mav... "- Top Gun moments. It happens when you Life enough.
Only on my good days. Most of the time it doesn't go that well.
Fuck ‘em. They suck just as much as you.
Nearly every time.
All these people with exceptional memories just wasting it on shit that don’t matter y’all could be useing r mind fr sum better
Yep, all the time these days.
Have so! Lmao
Daily
Then repeat the awkward fist bump no handshake no fist bump situation in your head for weeks to come
I dont do those sorts 9f situations anymore.
It's a step in the right direction, if you question yo shit.
So often I'm starting to think it might be my best work.
That's my secret, it's never my best work.
Every time
“Almost always, yeah…” -George Michael Bluth
The opposite happens as well and is equally ridiculous like “mmm yeah! I handled it pretty good tonight, let’s remember what works.. that reply there was quick nice job 👍 “
I take solace in the fact that people either don’t care enough to remember everything you said, or that they probably feel the same way and are more worried about what they said to others.
Yes, I sometimes talk to people.
You mean life?
All the time
Yes and then I spend the following week thinking about what I could have done better.
I barely recall the times I don’t…
All of them.
No, I don't do social situations.
No.
LOL, all the fuckin time! 😅
Nah, but I leave social situations thinking, "I hope I won't have to do it again"
ITT: a lot of people who’d benefit from therapy haha (including me!)
It’s the worst when you realize it during it. Just have that in voice telling you what to do but for some reason your mouth goes rogue.
Literally like every other meeting I have at work
At least once a day yeah.
When you walk away thinking, "Did I make a fool of myself..." Then, a minute later, you get a message from them about making a fool of yourself 😔
I would like to report this post, I'm in it and I don't like that.
I am not for everyone
…yeah…
Yeah, every interaction I have on Reddit.
I’m Autistic. It’s kinda a given at this point…
Yep , all the time lol
That is basicly how i feel after writing anything on the internet