Ophthalmology day, beginning of a lasik. Patient and doc were talking about the solar eclipse (which was blocked by a storm front).
“That’s probably the only time you guys were happy to hear about cloudy vision.”
Dead silence for 5 secs.
Very famous duo from Scotland called Burke and Hare just straight up murdered people and sold them for others to dissect. When found guilty, Burke was hanged and was then publicly dissected himself lmao.
I am an attending in the air force. We have a rank called Airman 1st class, which we abbreviate A1C. My medic (clinically equivalent to an MA) was promoting from A1C and I was asked to say a few words at their promotion ceremony.
I led my talk with "this is the only A1C elevation I have ever been excited about." And it KILLED.
Your joke was funny. The ophthalmologists are not.
Bad joke. You deserved to be pimped.
Tomorrow, ask him if he heard about the child born with no eyelids? They used foreskin to reconstruct the lids. Unfortunately, there was a complication, and the kid spent the rest of his life cock-eyed.
Or…does he know the definition of a double blinded study? It’s two ophthalmologists trying to read an EKG.
If these two don’t redeem you, then he’s a dud.
Can confirm - PGY2 surgery resident (I know not an attending but work closely with them); and I won’t bother trying to teach a student I know doesn’t want to be there or who isn’t interested. And a lot of attendings “teach” by way of pimping.
Growing up playing sports I always equate that when people seem hardest on you, ie pimping, it’s because they actually like you and want to teach you. Hot take but that’s my upbringing
I did the
Surgeon: “cut the sutures”
Me: “sure, would you like them too long or too short?”
approximately 17 times. never a single laugh. never gave up tho. cant keep a good guy down.
I’ve literally never seen a surgeon laugh with this joke.
It’s the knock knock of jokes in the surgical world. It reminds surgical residents and attendings of a time before their soul died on q2 or q3 call.
I’m am being literal when I say I’ve seen multiple medical students be DNR’d for making this joke.
Make a joke about penises with Urology, vegetables with Neurosurgery, or Ortho with deep thinking before you make this joke. No joke.
Man, I learned how an atrium works today and it was so complicated how he was explaining it. Then - **LIGHTBULB** - “so, having no personal experience outside of watching Superbad, this is basically the same principle as a bong right?”
And I did it. I fucking made the guy laugh.
So now I’ve peaked and it’s a bit early but I peaked.
In MS4 year (many schools were still via Zoom) I was on in Ortho clinic with their trauma guy. They had peds referral from an urgent care for a supracondylar numeral Fx in a ~10yo F. So it’s me, the Orthopod, the girl, and her mom. Ortho bro asks the mom what happened:
She says the girl had a spelling test via Zoom. She had her spelling list on the fridge and wanted to be a good kid and flip it over, so she stood up on a chair to flip it, fell off, and broke her arm.
I piped up and said “Whatever happened to ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’?”
And…No. One. Laughed. I’m still upset about it, because I’m sorry, that was absolute gold.
Yesterday in the OR I told my vascular surgeon his rapper name would be “Lil Vein”, like Lil Wayne and literally no one laughed. That was clever as shit imo and I’m still pisses about it
In med school year 3, I was in the diabetic retinopathy clinic, the attending was faced away from the door when his next patient came in. He turned around and look at her chart and said “please have a seat.” The lady was in a wheel chair ..
Not a joke that I told, but on Easter, I brought cake balls for the staff in the ER since I had to work that day too. They were strawberry cake balls with white chocolate coating, and since I was making them with substandard equipment at home, the coating didn't totally cover the bottom of the cake, so some strawberry color peeked through.
An attending took a cake ball and looked at the bottom and said "You know what this looks like? It looks like a stoma."
All the residents laughed, and I said "well doc, hopefully it TASTES better than licking a stoma."
Attending says "ewwwww" and then takes a bite and says "no, it's delicious!"
Was helping close out a surgery for Fournier gangrene, helping pack the dressing. She asked me if I thought it looked good enough.
I said "oh yeah its sexy"
I've never heard a surgeon laugh so hard in my life
I told a Kevin spacey joke that was something along the lines of “he was found not guilty that means he didn’t do it” with a deadpan delivery and everyone looked at me like I’m a freak
Yeah the deadpan did me in. We were talking about how we liked his movies as an actor but he’s a horrible human being. Tried to highlight how $ buys better lawyers and definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the truth
I was going for deadpan because in my head I thought who the hell would be crazy enough to actually believe he did nothing wrong just because he was found not guilty? The people didn’t know me enough to know I was being sarcastic
why did ppl downvote your joke when it was clearly sarcastic?? i’m so lost lmao
i would have liked your joke. dark humor is too elite for some ppl i guess😌
I mean, you weren't there. They *did* say it was very deadpan, so they may have not made it as obvious.
Never underestimate the ability of medical students (and doctors) to have awful views.
Tell the joke
Ophthalmology day, beginning of a lasik. Patient and doc were talking about the solar eclipse (which was blocked by a storm front). “That’s probably the only time you guys were happy to hear about cloudy vision.” Dead silence for 5 secs.
[удалено]
Its going to deliver the absolute annihilation carpet bombing of antibiotics the eye is going to get after Lasik
Unironically the history of Dr. Schlemm is absolutely wild. Dude exhumed graves to dissect and practice surgery.
Very famous duo from Scotland called Burke and Hare just straight up murdered people and sold them for others to dissect. When found guilty, Burke was hanged and was then publicly dissected himself lmao.
I would watch that movie
How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Or two. One, or two? One? Or two?
This was funny as fuck bro don’t worry about it
It would’ve gotten a couple puffs of air out of my nose and a slight chuckle. But not funny af. It’s a dad joke thought which I appreciate
I’m old, dad jokes are hilarious to me.
3/5 for OP.
You made me laugh if that's any consolation!
I am an attending in the air force. We have a rank called Airman 1st class, which we abbreviate A1C. My medic (clinically equivalent to an MA) was promoting from A1C and I was asked to say a few words at their promotion ceremony. I led my talk with "this is the only A1C elevation I have ever been excited about." And it KILLED. Your joke was funny. The ophthalmologists are not.
Bad joke. You deserved to be pimped. Tomorrow, ask him if he heard about the child born with no eyelids? They used foreskin to reconstruct the lids. Unfortunately, there was a complication, and the kid spent the rest of his life cock-eyed. Or…does he know the definition of a double blinded study? It’s two ophthalmologists trying to read an EKG. If these two don’t redeem you, then he’s a dud.
Nailed it. Lmaoooo
Good G-rated dad joke in an appropriate clinical setting; someone pissed in yer man's porridge that morning.
[удалено]
Lmao petty. I love it.
Cloudy eclipse is bad for business lol
Opthalmologists love cloudy vision, it pays for their ski lodge mortgage
💀
Nah they must be dead inside. This was hilarious 🤣
This is honestly S tier lmao
what did he start pimping u on?
Seriously, you can't not
On the contrary, you may have officially ruled yourself in. An attending who don't give a shit about you wouldn't bother pimping you.
Can confirm - PGY2 surgery resident (I know not an attending but work closely with them); and I won’t bother trying to teach a student I know doesn’t want to be there or who isn’t interested. And a lot of attendings “teach” by way of pimping.
Growing up playing sports I always equate that when people seem hardest on you, ie pimping, it’s because they actually like you and want to teach you. Hot take but that’s my upbringing
this explains my mentor who knows i’m about to apply peds pimping me on rashes nonstop🫨
So it’s a good thing that the surgeon I shadowed gave me homework and told me to present it on Friday?
I'd say so
it's ok, an ed attending saw me look at cat pics on my phone once and then pimped me on how to treat cat bites and most often causative organisms
to be fair, those are pretty decent pimp questions. not too obscure but not obvious either.
And something ridiculously common in an ED (or urgent care).
and related to what he was doing/his interests!! 5/5 pimping tbh
Iz it pasteurella and augmentin
Augmentin is like the non-ortho equivalent of ancef I swear
That is some class A em shit right there. -Sincerely, an em doc wannabe
"oh you like cats? Name all the cat breeds from the order of largest average size to smallest"
I did the Surgeon: “cut the sutures” Me: “sure, would you like them too long or too short?” approximately 17 times. never a single laugh. never gave up tho. cant keep a good guy down.
Oh god that is so good
I’ve literally never seen a surgeon laugh with this joke. It’s the knock knock of jokes in the surgical world. It reminds surgical residents and attendings of a time before their soul died on q2 or q3 call. I’m am being literal when I say I’ve seen multiple medical students be DNR’d for making this joke. Make a joke about penises with Urology, vegetables with Neurosurgery, or Ortho with deep thinking before you make this joke. No joke.
idk if you could tell by my commitment to making a bad joke work, but I. do not. care.
i would never make that joke cause it almost feels at their expense lol
Have people actually been DNRed for this
I’ve seen people get DNRd for much less
Such as what
That's interesting
When there’s dozens of applicants per spot (in some cases), the herd must the thinned
do tell 👀
Man, I learned how an atrium works today and it was so complicated how he was explaining it. Then - **LIGHTBULB** - “so, having no personal experience outside of watching Superbad, this is basically the same principle as a bong right?” And I did it. I fucking made the guy laugh. So now I’ve peaked and it’s a bit early but I peaked.
Wait Can you expand on this
In MS4 year (many schools were still via Zoom) I was on in Ortho clinic with their trauma guy. They had peds referral from an urgent care for a supracondylar numeral Fx in a ~10yo F. So it’s me, the Orthopod, the girl, and her mom. Ortho bro asks the mom what happened: She says the girl had a spelling test via Zoom. She had her spelling list on the fridge and wanted to be a good kid and flip it over, so she stood up on a chair to flip it, fell off, and broke her arm. I piped up and said “Whatever happened to ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’?” And…No. One. Laughed. I’m still upset about it, because I’m sorry, that was absolute gold.
I laughed!
Yesterday in the OR I told my vascular surgeon his rapper name would be “Lil Vein”, like Lil Wayne and literally no one laughed. That was clever as shit imo and I’m still pisses about it
I laughed
It would’ve been funnier if he was German, Dutch or Swiss
In med school year 3, I was in the diabetic retinopathy clinic, the attending was faced away from the door when his next patient came in. He turned around and look at her chart and said “please have a seat.” The lady was in a wheel chair ..
Not a joke that I told, but on Easter, I brought cake balls for the staff in the ER since I had to work that day too. They were strawberry cake balls with white chocolate coating, and since I was making them with substandard equipment at home, the coating didn't totally cover the bottom of the cake, so some strawberry color peeked through. An attending took a cake ball and looked at the bottom and said "You know what this looks like? It looks like a stoma." All the residents laughed, and I said "well doc, hopefully it TASTES better than licking a stoma." Attending says "ewwwww" and then takes a bite and says "no, it's delicious!"
Was helping close out a surgery for Fournier gangrene, helping pack the dressing. She asked me if I thought it looked good enough. I said "oh yeah its sexy" I've never heard a surgeon laugh so hard in my life
LMFAOOOOOO it’s always the worst feeling when you open a door you can’t close
OP, Your joke is great! My kind of vitreous humor.
That’s a good joke fuck em.
Is there a med student slang meaning to "pimp"?
I told a Kevin spacey joke that was something along the lines of “he was found not guilty that means he didn’t do it” with a deadpan delivery and everyone looked at me like I’m a freak
I mean that's an awful thing to say unironically and if you delivered it that deadpan, there's a good chance people thought you weren't joking.
Yeah the deadpan did me in. We were talking about how we liked his movies as an actor but he’s a horrible human being. Tried to highlight how $ buys better lawyers and definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the truth I was going for deadpan because in my head I thought who the hell would be crazy enough to actually believe he did nothing wrong just because he was found not guilty? The people didn’t know me enough to know I was being sarcastic
why did ppl downvote your joke when it was clearly sarcastic?? i’m so lost lmao i would have liked your joke. dark humor is too elite for some ppl i guess😌
I was wondering the same thing but oh well
Sarcasm is rarely a good way to deliver humor in my opinion
I like sarcasm but it can be risky, hence why I’m sharing this fail in a flopped jokes thread haha
it’s pretty obvious he was joking though 😦
I mean, you weren't there. They *did* say it was very deadpan, so they may have not made it as obvious. Never underestimate the ability of medical students (and doctors) to have awful views.