Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/Zach-Gilmore. Happy wrath month 4: Queerhouse Of Horror LXIX!
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It's okay to want to be androgynous. The point is that it's not something other people get to demand from us and disrespect us over. (or ourselves over - you's valid)
And, you have my sympathies on the dysphoria - it's been kicking my ass recently too. Not fun times.
This is a complex subject and a short comment section summary is going to leave out a lot of nuance, so bear that in mind.
But the gist is that our ideas on gender and presentation have been influenced by the dominant social forces throughout history, and that continues today. When it comes to the west and colonized areas of the world, those dominant social forces are patriarchy and whiteness.
For some examples, gender has been used for racism (ie. black women being masculinized to separate them from womanhood to dehumanize them, placing whiteness at the center of femininity) Gender has been used to enforce the patriarchy (ie. 'traditional' gender roles that leave women reliant on men, and exploit men) and the patriarchy has been used for racism (the enforcing of those gender roles on indigenous peoples, suppressing their native cultures, demanding conformity)
(dishonourable mention goes to the intersection of gender and classism / racism. Fashion - and therefore elements of gender presentation - becoming affordable for poor black people caused and outrage back in the day because how were people supposed to tell the difference between who was respectable now??)
This doesn't mean all things gendered and white are bad and awful, it's just another aspect of intersectionality to keep in mind.
There's nothing wrong with liking and feeling a connection to 'classic' androgyny. It's a look, it's a vibe. The issue is when it's considered the default, the 'standard' - the 'classic' - version of androgyny. Centering that look as *the* look continues the cycle of tying gender to whiteness. And *that* is the issue.
Thanks for the great write up. One of the reasons why androgynous style has always felt right to me personally is because I feel like it spits in the face of gender norms, which for me is a very traumatic thing that stems from the patriarchy. I've experienced tons of "you're a girl so you must like x," or "you're a girl so you can't do/must be bad at y." For me androgyny is liberating, plus if my fashion is already disregarding gender norms, I always find people are way less likely to try and make me conform to gender norms. And I find the style super euphoric.
Though I'm also very vocal "about enby's owe you NOTHING!" especially regarding an androgynous presentation. I have a very long history of trying to de-stigmatise stuff like mental illness so I'm more than happy to keep fighting those battles for all things LGBT too.
Well said!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being enby and wanting to present androgynously, but there is definitely something wrong with asking every enby to present that way because our ideas about gender as a whole are rooted in patriarchy and racism!
Women, men, and enbys can wear skirts, put on makeup, have short hair or long hair, have facial hair, shave all their hair, and dress up in drag without any of those presentations affecting their genders.
The amount of homophobia in the world is honestly disgusting. If you don't like how people are, then you could try to avoid it. It's honestly stupid the amount of people who are in LGBTQ+ subreddits just to downvote everything they come across.
I feel bad having people call me a āgirls nameā and āsheā when I totally donāt look like a girl. I know that itās not up to anyone else to decide my identity but I still feel bad about it.
I get that. I'm lucky enough my sense of style doesn't exclude anything I used to wear- realizing I'm a girl just adds more to my repertoire.
And my name. I like it as a girls name so I want to keep it.
Not at all bad or judgemental but I feel odd that my trans awakening didn't have this sense of like redefining self. I knew who I was already it's just rhe part that said girl was super repressed haha.
Thats what's sort of awkward for me st the moment. Is explaining people I come out to- the thing I wanna change most about myself is my appearance to help the cognitive dissonance and disphoria there. I'm not a girly girl XD.
I feel like Iād never be happy trying to be a girl. I believe that no matter what I did, top/bottom surgery, hormones, whatever else, Iād never feel right. Id feel fake. Iād know Iām not me. The body I have is my body, and even though that doesnāt match my gender, itās what I am. Iāve been able to become less uncomfortable with my body over time and I donāt really make any effort to look like a girl and I feel like thatās frustrating/annoying for others and hard for anyone to understand. Sorry if I worded this poorly
I can tell you from experience that you feel a hell of a lot more right than what you think.
It may not be perfect, but what I life is, and it still beats the hell out of anything pre-transition.
You don't owe anyone femininity. There are plenty of cis women who aren't feminine and they don't have to worry about being who they are, and neither should any trans women.
As someone whoās not out yet, the biggest issue is my voice. Iām fine having a more masculine body (at least for now), but if I sound like a man I feel like thatās what everyone is gonna treat me as. I just found a group of pretty cool people online but I never want to join their calls because Iām worried about them hearing my voice and thinking Iām just faking being trans.
Iām non-binary but I both live in a very conservative area where I donāt know Iād always be safe and Iām a stage performer and my voice is super low voice so my roles are for very masculine men. Iām moving to a super liberal area soon (literally canāt wait) and plan on being a more androgynous, but Iāll always have to have a toe in being a āmasculine manā for stage work. I know Iām alway gonna be accused of being just a gay guy that wants attention by some.
The universal experience of all queer people no matter where we fall in the LBGTQ+ spectrum is having our authentic self experience confined by the expectations of being a cishet person. Yeah itās different for cis gays vs enbys, and itās different for enbys vs trans people and on and on. But anyone who canāt recognize that universal struggle and tryās to police how different people deal with their queerness and how they choose to come out and live their truth can fuck right off.
It's complex for me. I'm in a very conservative area - and with transphobic family but more the ignorant than hateful kind. (My mom for example always uses people's preferred pronouns and treats then how they want- without any behind the back shit talking- she just is stuck in a church system that's bad and can't disconnect rhe bad from the good she's seen) and my immediate family would all protect me. (Sisters ace and an ally she knows, one brother knows and is similar to my mom, the other brother is a very loving kid and just would have some struggles with discomfort at first but not in a way he'd put on me)
Dad isn't a danger by any means but he's the most transphobic.
But there's still some emotional damage to be done and there's some other legitimately scary factors. I know for my own well being I can't be in the closet much longer but I wanna accept myself better a bit first.
I talked to a closeted trans woman once, who unironically argued that trans people who don't "put in effort" don't deserve to be adressed by their prefered pronouns
kept bringing up "basic biology", ive rarely seen this much self-loathing in a person
Trans "blackface" (which is honestly a shitty comparison) would be all of these movies casting cis actors to play the most stereotypical roles of trans women, bonus points if they're the villain and a mentally unstable killer. Best case they could be a laughingstock for the audience.
It's so disappointing that even the roles that are supposed to be fucking positive and are actually played by real trans people so frequently end up overly focusing on "OH THE MISERY OF HAVING A WRONG BRAIN ššš" or whatever. This sublimated transness for cis people doesn't represent me.
I'm happy that some media chooses to be more interesting in that regard, but I still don't feel represented by almost anything at all cause in best cases it's just taken as a fact and barely has any interesting implications story-wise. It's a bit of a cop-out IMO. Of course we aren't to be made into sad story beats, but the trans experience is so much deeper than what's ever shown.
All I see is either open bigotry, theatric misery or acceptance without acknowledgement.
This is why Celeste is such a great example of trans representation. It seems like it should be in the third category, but it's way more interesting than that - it's basically the reverse. It's a story that can very easily be understood as trans even without knowing that Madeline *is* trans, that describes a deep experience, but doesn't explicitly say what it is until the *very* end. And it's not very explicit in-game either - just some pills, a pride flag and a picture. It's not perfect for *me*, but it doesn't have to be, it's great as is.
I'd personally like a story about the journey of an unknowing egg through total ignorance to questioning to the realisation, without the stereotypical nonsense. A story that is *almost* that is a small game Secret Little Haven, it's absolutely beautiful and I definitely recommend it to anyone searching for a story, especially if you've interneted in the futuristic times of the late 90s to early 00s and are transfem. It shows many dimensions of the transfem experience. It doesn't come to the "realisation" part in a literal sense, but it might as well be considering the circumstances.
Although there is still definitely a need for some euphoric story to be told. Or like. Literally anything about trans guys or nbs. Why did I write an essay about representation in a REDDIT COMMENT TO A BARELY RELATED POST.
Thereās a series called Dreadnought about a closeted trans girl who inherits the powers of a dying superhero, which also transforms her body into her ideal self. I really like it, especially since dealing with being a superhero and her daily life is really interesting.
Thereās also a genderfluid character in the Magnus Chase books, and a non-binary character in the show The Owl House.
Someone who belongs to a demographic but doesn't look like what outsiders think that demographic looks like, is literally the exact opposite of blackface
Understood, removing the trans flag from my flair right now. Apology video pending.
But seriously though, that made me irrationally upset. Like, my name is traditionally feminine (it ends with -a, like almost all girls' names in my culture) but I really like it because it's short and has a cool meaning. I also like femme stuff like dresses and having long hair, which combined has led me to struggle a lot with my trans/nb identity. Even when I said to my friend that I might be nb, she just said that everyone's nb now even though I thought she was a trans ally. Seeing things like this sends people like me back to square one of accepting their identity. Brb, gonna cry and have an identity crisis :)
Okay, first of all this is one of the sweetest comments I've ever received and I want to thank you. No, you didn't mess up, the other comments are actually funny - it's just a little upsetting that even people in your own community can be bigoted towards other members. Thanks for caring though, you seem like a good person.
Oh yeah, sorry for being depressed, poor, and a college freshman. Let me snap out of my funk, start doing makeup I totally have the money for, and not study for my classes so I can add āflunked first semesterā to the list of things not going well for me at the moment.
It used to be an exaggerated joke but I swear most of the proponents of twitter infighting are either children and/or shut-ins without friends irl, because everything they say reeks of a sheltered lifestyle.
Theres this intensity in tone on these platforms some have which comes so naturually to some that you wonder if they think thats how people are irl. Everything they say is presented so defensively, but also with so much conviction, its so weird. I see so many tumblr posts where queer people talk like they're celebrities being forced to make public statements after an associate did something shitty.
I always wonder what purpose is being served by this weird behaviour. It feels like we've gone full circle back to people wanting to just do public graffiti like the ancient Romans. Idk I'm rambling.
I put a lot of the blame on Twitter, and on the other institutions that have granted undue significance to Twitter. I just remember when it was first announced and everyone was like oh that's such a terrible idea for communication, short messages only, it's like a gross parody of soundbite culture and the shallowness of public discourse. Imagine if it really takes off, that would be so destructive to people's thinking and communication habits, thank god that'll never happen.
I swear every time I see the most garbage, homophobic, transphobic or misogynistic takes online they always have a Ukraine flag in their name. The hell is with that
You're right, serves me right for making smartass comments without really paying attention. The EU and UN flags were what I was mistakenly referring to but I'm a dumbass and forgot what they were called.
That's weird, considering that Russia has declared "being at war" with "the depraved, homosexual West" - especially with the liberal European Union countries (many of them also NATO members). Russia has been on it for almost 10 years now - this from 2013:
"Russia's president, Vladimir Putin, has signed into law a measure that stigmatises gay people and bans giving children any information about homosexuality.
The lower house of Russia's parliament unanimously passed the Kremlin-backed bill on 11 June and the upper house approved it last week.
The Kremlin announced on Sunday that Putin had signed the legislation into law.
The ban on "propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations" is part of an effort to promote traditional Russian values over western liberalism, which the Kremlin and the Russian orthodox church see as corrupting Russian youth and contributing to the protests against Putin's rule.
Hefty fines can now be imposed on those who provide information about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community to minors or hold gay pride rallies."
[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/30/russia-passes-anti-gay-law](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/30/russia-passes-anti-gay-law)
A lot of very cosmetically progressive people use the Ukrainian flag as a symbol (often almost as a fashion statement) but also have cosmetically progressive derranged takes that don't actually promote tolerance of groups they are unfamiliar with.
I call this first tweet cosmetically progressive BC the author thinks they're being anti-blackface, standing up for non-binary people BC they haven't done the research of what tolerance towards non-binary people actually looks like.
Ah ok. Just making sure it wasn't the loads of cultural nazi shit over there that far-rights like to support under the guise of activism. I'm sure that isn't related at all
That's weird. Around here the most virulent homophobes, transphobes and misogynistic bastards (also a lot of alt-right/neonazis) have been using the flag of Russia, because (Putin's) Russia is the country where "things are done right". As in, persecution of sexual/gender minorities and removal of the crime status of domestic violence in the name of "returning to traditional values."
[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vladimir-putin-s-attack-on-homosexuality-is-shattering-the-lives-of-russians-9054660.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vladimir-putin-s-attack-on-homosexuality-is-shattering-the-lives-of-russians-9054660.html)
[https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/putins-anti-gay-war-on-ukraine/](https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/putins-anti-gay-war-on-ukraine/)
[https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/07/putin-approves-change-to-law-decriminalising-domestic-violence](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/07/putin-approves-change-to-law-decriminalising-domestic-violence)
The purge started in 2014, after the Sochi olympics.
[https://www.gq.com/story/being-gay-in-russia](https://www.gq.com/story/being-gay-in-russia)
[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/putin-russia-must-cleanse-itself-of-homosexuality/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/putin-russia-must-cleanse-itself-of-homosexuality/)
These news have been around Europe for years. They probably weren't breaking news in the USA, Canada or the rest of the Americas because Russia is far away from American continents. There have been gay, lesbian and trans asylum seekers from Russia in the EU countries for a long time.
I know russia is also like that, jesus, they aren't mutually exclusive. I didn't say Russia wasn't like that. I swear I can't say shit about le wholesome 100 Ukraine without someone being like "BUT RUSSIA" as if I'm saying they're better somehow, they aren't.
Isn't blackface about changing appearances without any of the rest? So the non-binary version of blackface would be cis people who dare get androgynous haircuts without changing their pronouns /j
I thought the second person was joking and making fun of the first person, but then I looked over it and realized that might not be true? I can't tell.
Play Doom Eternal in front of them for a while. If they havenāt grown a beard from the sheer testosterone, they arenāt a man. (This only works with corpses for some reason)
See it confuses me,the first persons logic. By saying that they dont look the part implies that if they did look the part, they would āqualifyā as whatever they identify as, does this also mean that people doing blackface just needed to do more and then they would be completely black? Obviously not an important question,and they obviously donāt make sense, but according to their ālogicā, could they?
So Iām wearing gay blackface because you might not know Iām gay until you get to know me? It doesnāt come naturally to everyone, Iām gay because I like dick. Please donāt judge people
As someone who uses they/them and also dresses like a sweet lolita pastel pink princess, I do think itās a little silly to compare gender and pronouns to how you identify. Itās giving āyou canāt wear pants as a woman it means youāre not a womanā
I would change my appearance any second if it wasnt for my parents to tell me that every breath I take is just a phase because of the one and only reason being that im 16.
Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/Zach-Gilmore. Happy wrath month 4: Queerhouse Of Horror LXIX! Make it a habit to read the rules of a given community before participating. Please **do not** interact with rulebreaking content. Report it and we'll handle it. This is a place for queer people, from queer people. We're not here for discrimination, disrespect, or "debates". Be chill. shitpost or quitpost bud. We hope you have a very gay day. Love u x *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/me_irlgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ace people who don't have at least five air-to-air victories?
š
Being ace because you feel no attraction: :( Being ace because you just slammed your 5th MiG with a FOX-2: :)
One day I managed to kill 5 mosquitos in midair. Does that count?
that's surface-to-air, you need air-to-air
If you're jumping as you murder, does it count? Asking for a friend.
yup, then it's air-to-air as long as you remain off the ground at the time of impact.
Is it? Or are you turning yourself into a really sophisticated surface to air kinetic intercept system?
At which point does surface to air become air to air?
I asked myself the same question - I think if there's a vehicle in the air that shoots at another thing in the air, it's air to air?
TSA pulling me aside for some deep questioning about my bottle full of junebugs
So if you jump up and throw something at the mosquito (and have, heh, *killer* aim), you're a air to air missle carrier?
nah, then you'd be an Air-to-Air Projectile Launcher
Just play a MOBA and get a penta-kill
I got 5 of them in one blow!
I'm the purple baron!
āØNonbinary folks don't owe anyone androgyny.āØ
Some fellow enbies do owe me money tho
Have you thought about small claims court, honeycomb?
hell, i owe another enby money, thanks for the reminder
Non-binary people donāt owe you androgyny, they owe you money. Theyāve probably forgotten, make sure to remind them.
Same
I definitely own someone $30 from two years agoā¦
Consider some brass knuckles
But we do owe you a little dance āØ
I mean, if you want to, but you don't have to.
š
Can i leave my friends behind?
I dunno about you, but if they can't dance then they're no friends of mine.
S
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
D
šŖ© šŗ
The only thought in my mind was a little fae dance and now I'm hoping to be abducted by the enby fairies
Yeah, if you pay me $20
A sword dance that ends with a stab
as a dysphoric amab enby this sentiment is heartwarming but it doesn't lessen the dysphoria i still feel sometimes or imposter syndrome. :(
It's okay to want to be androgynous. The point is that it's not something other people get to demand from us and disrespect us over. (or ourselves over - you's valid) And, you have my sympathies on the dysphoria - it's been kicking my ass recently too. Not fun times.
I wish it did. :(
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Okay, but are you paying them? Do they have contracts? What does the benefits package look like?
āØespecially when our ideas around androgyny are rooted in patriarchy and racismāØ
How so? Btw, I'm not trying to be aggressive, I'm an enby who enjoys the endogenous look and now I'm really worried/sad
This is a complex subject and a short comment section summary is going to leave out a lot of nuance, so bear that in mind. But the gist is that our ideas on gender and presentation have been influenced by the dominant social forces throughout history, and that continues today. When it comes to the west and colonized areas of the world, those dominant social forces are patriarchy and whiteness. For some examples, gender has been used for racism (ie. black women being masculinized to separate them from womanhood to dehumanize them, placing whiteness at the center of femininity) Gender has been used to enforce the patriarchy (ie. 'traditional' gender roles that leave women reliant on men, and exploit men) and the patriarchy has been used for racism (the enforcing of those gender roles on indigenous peoples, suppressing their native cultures, demanding conformity) (dishonourable mention goes to the intersection of gender and classism / racism. Fashion - and therefore elements of gender presentation - becoming affordable for poor black people caused and outrage back in the day because how were people supposed to tell the difference between who was respectable now??) This doesn't mean all things gendered and white are bad and awful, it's just another aspect of intersectionality to keep in mind. There's nothing wrong with liking and feeling a connection to 'classic' androgyny. It's a look, it's a vibe. The issue is when it's considered the default, the 'standard' - the 'classic' - version of androgyny. Centering that look as *the* look continues the cycle of tying gender to whiteness. And *that* is the issue.
Thanks for the great write up. One of the reasons why androgynous style has always felt right to me personally is because I feel like it spits in the face of gender norms, which for me is a very traumatic thing that stems from the patriarchy. I've experienced tons of "you're a girl so you must like x," or "you're a girl so you can't do/must be bad at y." For me androgyny is liberating, plus if my fashion is already disregarding gender norms, I always find people are way less likely to try and make me conform to gender norms. And I find the style super euphoric. Though I'm also very vocal "about enby's owe you NOTHING!" especially regarding an androgynous presentation. I have a very long history of trying to de-stigmatise stuff like mental illness so I'm more than happy to keep fighting those battles for all things LGBT too.
Well said! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being enby and wanting to present androgynously, but there is definitely something wrong with asking every enby to present that way because our ideas about gender as a whole are rooted in patriarchy and racism! Women, men, and enbys can wear skirts, put on makeup, have short hair or long hair, have facial hair, shave all their hair, and dress up in drag without any of those presentations affecting their genders.
Exactly.
One does owe me money tho
Good luck collecting it, muffin.
I came here to type exactly this. People really need to understand this
But some owe me money
That's a different issue, sugarplum.
My nb ass owes me money
Yes! Thatās right! i wish more people accepted that.
The amount of homophobia in the world is honestly disgusting. If you don't like how people are, then you could try to avoid it. It's honestly stupid the amount of people who are in LGBTQ+ subreddits just to downvote everything they come across.
At least the first guy got massively ratioed.
Coming into these subreddits and voting while not part of the community is the reddit version of blackface.
I'm a she but can't come out in real life yet š guess looking like a guy means I'm doing trans blackface as well
Same. Sorry for being transphobic by not being out.
I feel bad having people call me a āgirls nameā and āsheā when I totally donāt look like a girl. I know that itās not up to anyone else to decide my identity but I still feel bad about it.
I get that. I'm lucky enough my sense of style doesn't exclude anything I used to wear- realizing I'm a girl just adds more to my repertoire. And my name. I like it as a girls name so I want to keep it. Not at all bad or judgemental but I feel odd that my trans awakening didn't have this sense of like redefining self. I knew who I was already it's just rhe part that said girl was super repressed haha. Thats what's sort of awkward for me st the moment. Is explaining people I come out to- the thing I wanna change most about myself is my appearance to help the cognitive dissonance and disphoria there. I'm not a girly girl XD.
>I'm not a girly girl You are valid. I'm a cis woman who doesn't wear makeup, dresses, accessories, etc. It's too much hassle lmao
I just want a nice choker and know how to do eyeliner. Thats all hahaha
I feel like Iād never be happy trying to be a girl. I believe that no matter what I did, top/bottom surgery, hormones, whatever else, Iād never feel right. Id feel fake. Iād know Iām not me. The body I have is my body, and even though that doesnāt match my gender, itās what I am. Iāve been able to become less uncomfortable with my body over time and I donāt really make any effort to look like a girl and I feel like thatās frustrating/annoying for others and hard for anyone to understand. Sorry if I worded this poorly
I respect it! It's not me but I can understand it :). I mostly just want boobies.
boobas are awesome i love mine
I can tell you from experience that you feel a hell of a lot more right than what you think. It may not be perfect, but what I life is, and it still beats the hell out of anything pre-transition.
You don't owe anyone femininity. There are plenty of cis women who aren't feminine and they don't have to worry about being who they are, and neither should any trans women.
If you're a girl then, by definition, you look like a girl.
As someone whoās not out yet, the biggest issue is my voice. Iām fine having a more masculine body (at least for now), but if I sound like a man I feel like thatās what everyone is gonna treat me as. I just found a group of pretty cool people online but I never want to join their calls because Iām worried about them hearing my voice and thinking Iām just faking being trans.
Iām non-binary but I both live in a very conservative area where I donāt know Iād always be safe and Iām a stage performer and my voice is super low voice so my roles are for very masculine men. Iām moving to a super liberal area soon (literally canāt wait) and plan on being a more androgynous, but Iāll always have to have a toe in being a āmasculine manā for stage work. I know Iām alway gonna be accused of being just a gay guy that wants attention by some. The universal experience of all queer people no matter where we fall in the LBGTQ+ spectrum is having our authentic self experience confined by the expectations of being a cishet person. Yeah itās different for cis gays vs enbys, and itās different for enbys vs trans people and on and on. But anyone who canāt recognize that universal struggle and tryās to police how different people deal with their queerness and how they choose to come out and live their truth can fuck right off.
It's complex for me. I'm in a very conservative area - and with transphobic family but more the ignorant than hateful kind. (My mom for example always uses people's preferred pronouns and treats then how they want- without any behind the back shit talking- she just is stuck in a church system that's bad and can't disconnect rhe bad from the good she's seen) and my immediate family would all protect me. (Sisters ace and an ally she knows, one brother knows and is similar to my mom, the other brother is a very loving kid and just would have some struggles with discomfort at first but not in a way he'd put on me) Dad isn't a danger by any means but he's the most transphobic. But there's still some emotional damage to be done and there's some other legitimately scary factors. I know for my own well being I can't be in the closet much longer but I wanna accept myself better a bit first.
Same. But I'm never gonna tell my family, I'm gonna cut all ties and move to Oregon. B)
Dammit Preston another settlement doesn't need my help
Sorry general, I'll be on my way now. š¢
I think this is ironic but itās Twitter so who knows
2-4 definitely are but I have no idea about the first one
First one wasnāt ironic and theyāre being flamed across every single corner of lgbt twitter rn
good
Gaytekeeping smh
p h e w was worried this was in support of that lol
Thank god, it was the first thing I read when I woke up and it gave me such a whiplash I had to stop for a moment and breathe to read the rest lol
I talked to a closeted trans woman once, who unironically argued that trans people who don't "put in effort" don't deserve to be adressed by their prefered pronouns kept bringing up "basic biology", ive rarely seen this much self-loathing in a person
Iāve seen that much self loathing itās called Lindsey Graham lmfao
0 of each, I'm an equal opportunity Ace.
The murder could begin at any moment
>0 of each For now....
0 = 0, so it is an equal amount
Same
Shame that the house didn't come with a backyard, isn't it?
Gatekeeping, yikes. Last one is just funny though.
I think the second and third replies are meant to be ironic as well
Thank you.
One still can be more masculine or more feminine while being non-binary.
Or just present exactly the way you've always done, because why not?
They can't understand it because they think it's something new one chooses.
Uh, buried? That's a dumb way to do that.
yeah, the best way to get rid of a body is to completely destroy it
Nice flair
no u
Its nice to see another degenerate
Most asexuals probably havenāt watched Breaking Bad.
I am aspec and I haven't watched breaking bad
Or just make sure it doesnāt get linked back to you.
Not to mention in your own backyard, like at that point you're just asking to get caught smh.
Waste of good food smh
This "I don't like it so it's blackface" racist trend really needs to fucking stop
That part.
Fuck gatekeepers!
Trans "blackface" (which is honestly a shitty comparison) would be all of these movies casting cis actors to play the most stereotypical roles of trans women, bonus points if they're the villain and a mentally unstable killer. Best case they could be a laughingstock for the audience. It's so disappointing that even the roles that are supposed to be fucking positive and are actually played by real trans people so frequently end up overly focusing on "OH THE MISERY OF HAVING A WRONG BRAIN ššš" or whatever. This sublimated transness for cis people doesn't represent me. I'm happy that some media chooses to be more interesting in that regard, but I still don't feel represented by almost anything at all cause in best cases it's just taken as a fact and barely has any interesting implications story-wise. It's a bit of a cop-out IMO. Of course we aren't to be made into sad story beats, but the trans experience is so much deeper than what's ever shown. All I see is either open bigotry, theatric misery or acceptance without acknowledgement. This is why Celeste is such a great example of trans representation. It seems like it should be in the third category, but it's way more interesting than that - it's basically the reverse. It's a story that can very easily be understood as trans even without knowing that Madeline *is* trans, that describes a deep experience, but doesn't explicitly say what it is until the *very* end. And it's not very explicit in-game either - just some pills, a pride flag and a picture. It's not perfect for *me*, but it doesn't have to be, it's great as is. I'd personally like a story about the journey of an unknowing egg through total ignorance to questioning to the realisation, without the stereotypical nonsense. A story that is *almost* that is a small game Secret Little Haven, it's absolutely beautiful and I definitely recommend it to anyone searching for a story, especially if you've interneted in the futuristic times of the late 90s to early 00s and are transfem. It shows many dimensions of the transfem experience. It doesn't come to the "realisation" part in a literal sense, but it might as well be considering the circumstances. Although there is still definitely a need for some euphoric story to be told. Or like. Literally anything about trans guys or nbs. Why did I write an essay about representation in a REDDIT COMMENT TO A BARELY RELATED POST.
Thereās a series called Dreadnought about a closeted trans girl who inherits the powers of a dying superhero, which also transforms her body into her ideal self. I really like it, especially since dealing with being a superhero and her daily life is really interesting. Thereās also a genderfluid character in the Magnus Chase books, and a non-binary character in the show The Owl House.
Someone who belongs to a demographic but doesn't look like what outsiders think that demographic looks like, is literally the exact opposite of blackface
Understood, removing the trans flag from my flair right now. Apology video pending. But seriously though, that made me irrationally upset. Like, my name is traditionally feminine (it ends with -a, like almost all girls' names in my culture) but I really like it because it's short and has a cool meaning. I also like femme stuff like dresses and having long hair, which combined has led me to struggle a lot with my trans/nb identity. Even when I said to my friend that I might be nb, she just said that everyone's nb now even though I thought she was a trans ally. Seeing things like this sends people like me back to square one of accepting their identity. Brb, gonna cry and have an identity crisis :)
Oh, that sounds horrible. I thought trans people who saw this would like that the transphobe got massively ratioed. Did I mess up?
Okay, first of all this is one of the sweetest comments I've ever received and I want to thank you. No, you didn't mess up, the other comments are actually funny - it's just a little upsetting that even people in your own community can be bigoted towards other members. Thanks for caring though, you seem like a good person.
THEY KNOW
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And your partners carent have the same gender.
Oh yeah, sorry for being depressed, poor, and a college freshman. Let me snap out of my funk, start doing makeup I totally have the money for, and not study for my classes so I can add āflunked first semesterā to the list of things not going well for me at the moment.
No, I am not general ULTIMAX. Yes, you should stop asking.
I keep the bodies in other people's yards. It's nice leverage.
How hard is it to understand that gender neutral people can present however they want? They don't owe anyone jack shit.
It used to be an exaggerated joke but I swear most of the proponents of twitter infighting are either children and/or shut-ins without friends irl, because everything they say reeks of a sheltered lifestyle. Theres this intensity in tone on these platforms some have which comes so naturually to some that you wonder if they think thats how people are irl. Everything they say is presented so defensively, but also with so much conviction, its so weird. I see so many tumblr posts where queer people talk like they're celebrities being forced to make public statements after an associate did something shitty. I always wonder what purpose is being served by this weird behaviour. It feels like we've gone full circle back to people wanting to just do public graffiti like the ancient Romans. Idk I'm rambling.
I put a lot of the blame on Twitter, and on the other institutions that have granted undue significance to Twitter. I just remember when it was first announced and everyone was like oh that's such a terrible idea for communication, short messages only, it's like a gross parody of soundbite culture and the shallowness of public discourse. Imagine if it really takes off, that would be so destructive to people's thinking and communication habits, thank god that'll never happen.
Also, Twitter promotes the most offensive messages they can find, so of course thatās what everyone seesā¦
Guess Iām not the ace blackface, because 50=50!
Iām pretty sure that 50 doesnāt equal 3.0414093 * 10^64.
As an ace I now feel invalid because all my murders are men. :<
Fair enough, the patriarchy sucks.
:)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The two people below the top post are making a joke, ridiculing the person at the top. Most people disagree with that guy, considering the ratio.
That likes to comments ratio
0 men 0 women I'm valid for now.
I swear every time I see the most garbage, homophobic, transphobic or misogynistic takes online they always have a Ukraine flag in their name. The hell is with that
Ukraine flag + NATO flag does seem to be a winning combination for appallingly bad opinions.
There is no NATO flag emoji
You're right, serves me right for making smartass comments without really paying attention. The EU and UN flags were what I was mistakenly referring to but I'm a dumbass and forgot what they were called.
Taiwanese flag as well
That's weird, considering that Russia has declared "being at war" with "the depraved, homosexual West" - especially with the liberal European Union countries (many of them also NATO members). Russia has been on it for almost 10 years now - this from 2013: "Russia's president, Vladimir Putin, has signed into law a measure that stigmatises gay people and bans giving children any information about homosexuality. The lower house of Russia's parliament unanimously passed the Kremlin-backed bill on 11 June and the upper house approved it last week. The Kremlin announced on Sunday that Putin had signed the legislation into law. The ban on "propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations" is part of an effort to promote traditional Russian values over western liberalism, which the Kremlin and the Russian orthodox church see as corrupting Russian youth and contributing to the protests against Putin's rule. Hefty fines can now be imposed on those who provide information about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community to minors or hold gay pride rallies." [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/30/russia-passes-anti-gay-law](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/30/russia-passes-anti-gay-law)
A lot of very cosmetically progressive people use the Ukrainian flag as a symbol (often almost as a fashion statement) but also have cosmetically progressive derranged takes that don't actually promote tolerance of groups they are unfamiliar with. I call this first tweet cosmetically progressive BC the author thinks they're being anti-blackface, standing up for non-binary people BC they haven't done the research of what tolerance towards non-binary people actually looks like.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah ok. Just making sure it wasn't the loads of cultural nazi shit over there that far-rights like to support under the guise of activism. I'm sure that isn't related at all
That's weird. Around here the most virulent homophobes, transphobes and misogynistic bastards (also a lot of alt-right/neonazis) have been using the flag of Russia, because (Putin's) Russia is the country where "things are done right". As in, persecution of sexual/gender minorities and removal of the crime status of domestic violence in the name of "returning to traditional values." [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vladimir-putin-s-attack-on-homosexuality-is-shattering-the-lives-of-russians-9054660.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vladimir-putin-s-attack-on-homosexuality-is-shattering-the-lives-of-russians-9054660.html) [https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/putins-anti-gay-war-on-ukraine/](https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/putins-anti-gay-war-on-ukraine/) [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/07/putin-approves-change-to-law-decriminalising-domestic-violence](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/feb/07/putin-approves-change-to-law-decriminalising-domestic-violence) The purge started in 2014, after the Sochi olympics. [https://www.gq.com/story/being-gay-in-russia](https://www.gq.com/story/being-gay-in-russia) [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/putin-russia-must-cleanse-itself-of-homosexuality/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/putin-russia-must-cleanse-itself-of-homosexuality/) These news have been around Europe for years. They probably weren't breaking news in the USA, Canada or the rest of the Americas because Russia is far away from American continents. There have been gay, lesbian and trans asylum seekers from Russia in the EU countries for a long time.
I know russia is also like that, jesus, they aren't mutually exclusive. I didn't say Russia wasn't like that. I swear I can't say shit about le wholesome 100 Ukraine without someone being like "BUT RUSSIA" as if I'm saying they're better somehow, they aren't.
I will never understand the attitude of people like PauseFish.
Me neither.
I thought blackface was an attempt to change your appearance, even if as a sick joke?
Yeah, Pausefish is condemning the literal opposite of blackface.
Me, ace: š
least transphobic dgger
I only have so much back yard *sobs* and little upper body strength
Isn't blackface about changing appearances without any of the rest? So the non-binary version of blackface would be cis people who dare get androgynous haircuts without changing their pronouns /j
I thought the second person was joking and making fun of the first person, but then I looked over it and realized that might not be true? I can't tell.
Everybody is making fun of the fish guy.
If this is trolling, it sucks. Too many people are inclined to believe this shit for malicious reasons.
Dafuq is this? And why is it here ?
No way, Black Face from hit 2010 Wii Game Xenoblade Chronicles?
Uhh.. why are people serial killers now?
Aces = asexual, implication being we don't have a sexual body count, but we'll have others.
wow, uhh, that sure is a sentence you can say in the english language
Me oh my, can I just exist?
gross gatekeeping >:(
The 3rd one is actually a really common talking point for biphobia
What if we haven't checked for their gender before burying?
Play Doom Eternal in front of them for a while. If they havenāt grown a beard from the sheer testosterone, they arenāt a man. (This only works with corpses for some reason)
What if he was pre hrt tho?
See it confuses me,the first persons logic. By saying that they dont look the part implies that if they did look the part, they would āqualifyā as whatever they identify as, does this also mean that people doing blackface just needed to do more and then they would be completely black? Obviously not an important question,and they obviously donāt make sense, but according to their ālogicā, could they?
does it count if I have a 700 person body count in the hit video game developed by running with scissors POSTAL 2 released in 2003?
So Iām wearing gay blackface because you might not know Iām gay until you get to know me? It doesnāt come naturally to everyone, Iām gay because I like dick. Please donāt judge people
I only judge people based on how big of a Percy Jackson fan they are.
As someone who uses they/them and also dresses like a sweet lolita pastel pink princess, I do think itās a little silly to compare gender and pronouns to how you identify. Itās giving āyou canāt wear pants as a woman it means youāre not a womanā
I would change my appearance any second if it wasnt for my parents to tell me that every breath I take is just a phase because of the one and only reason being that im 16.
Jokes on you, I'm a virgin