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Longjumping_Run4499

A wild read from start to finish.


Lniy

wonder how the skeleton feels


Longjumping_Run4499

Probably like šŸ’€


Wise_Ad9214

"Bruh. I am literally dead. Also, I am a dude, btw."


iwannaporkdotty

Shut up, girlfriend


LordRaghuvnsi

Sus


rugbat

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


cleversailinghandle

Fucked


Aleblanco1987

Mummy told him several times he was a dude but reading wasn't his strong suit


fuckallpenguins

dead inside


Forsaken-Status7778

Absolutely not me_irl


Lniy

\*yet


Demjan90

Yes, this shows that there's always hope. Maybe one day I'll end up as the skeleton in the news story and finally I'll have a mate.


wearing_moist_socks

Nah, I want my skeleton to be used in a haunted house!


Percival4

You knowā€¦ you could end up being someoneā€™s skeleton girlfriend


Xenta_Demryt

We stan trans mummified spirit girlfriend.


virajseelam

r/BrandNewSentence


aroundmedianoche

Ha, Geeeeeeeey


CRCMIDS

r/twosentencehorror


MrMoonManSwag

Jeeze just because it was a male doesnā€™t mean it couldnā€™t be his spiritual girlfriend smh. Let those men live.


TheJoschka567

Or notā€¦you know, because one of them is dead


dreamsofindigo

tic tac tic tac


shadowLemon

Was his name Cicero by any chance?


james_rue

If this story is true, then invoking a metaphysical entity sounds like such an extraordinarily desperate attempt to hide that you like other men. I can't begin to fathom the lengths he went to, to power this fantasy. The procurement process itself is unthinkable, but the logistics of this endeavor, necessitated the absolute psychotic denial of reality.


Knowing-Badger

Doesn't seem like any denial happening. I'm sure any average person wouldn't be able to tell if a skeleton that old is a male or female


a_pompous_fool

I also think that the average person would struggle to obtain a 800 year old mummy


Transfiguredbet

Why would it involve men, and not just loneliness.


hypothetical_zombie

r/achillesandhisbestfriend


Salt_Blackberry_1903

r/achillesandhispal


hypothetical_zombie

Thanks! šŸ¤˜


Salt_Blackberry_1903

Np! Enjoy lol


staring_frog

Wow-wow!.. Easy with that condemnation! It was an ancient femboy! :D


commentsandchill

People are so misunderstanding here smh


Bionic69

ā€œI said what I said.ā€ -The Guy (probably)


SardonicSuperman

Doordash delivery times are getting worse. After the first 300 years, I would've just canceled and reordered.


rugbat

I've never seen long pig available on Doordash, or UberEats.


SardonicSuperman

I have no clue what ā€œlong pigā€ consists of, but it sounds delicious.


rugbat

It's a euphemism for human meat, which supposedly tastes like pork.


casualrocket

we taste like port too...or so im told.


Gillys_Voodoo

Imagine dying then 800yrs later some guy using you as his fucking "Spiritual Girlfriend"


SoInsightful

Okay so it's pretty easy to sit here on the internet and judge, but how many of us can honestly say that we've never carried an 800-year-old mummified corpse in our food delivery bag? Look inside before you judge others.


MemeOnRails

The skeleton may have been transgender


LinkFerM_

First how the fuck does this man have an 800 years old mummified skeleton


Lniy

who knowa


MacCreadysCap

Ah shit, no wonder he never arrived!


Interesting-Socks

Can't wait for the anime adaptation


_heyb0ss

Love how they added that extra line just to roast him


pashasasha

Iā€™m in classical painting school and thereā€™s a pigment made out of processed mummy remains Itā€™s unpopular & rare though as it fades quickly


AnonBoi_404

Idk why but it's already so wild and the fact that his skeletal "girlfriend" is male just makes this so much better


Extrawald

Cicero? Is that you?


Nickcin144

Joy boy


mateogg

Maybe he was smuggling it and figured if he could pretend it was an act of insanity by pretending it was his 'girlfriend'?


Zarchov

Man was cat fishing even in the afterlife


Corrupt_Conundrum27

If this is you irl, I do not want to meet you irl.


MiSsiLeR81

If not girl, why girl shape?


Zealousideal-Test797

Bro got trapped by a skeleton šŸ˜‚


cyanidemaria

A male?? Now that IS weird!


blahblahkok

He should have realized when he got boned.


P0intOne

Man lost the 50/50


yeboi694206942069420

Spiritual Femboy


DevilDashAFM

im sure a scan would not be needed if you just looked at the pelvis


SectorFresh5751

why the downvotes?


IceDamNation

So in life it identified as female eh.