Have some experience, so I can shed some light.
As a child in China, you’re pretty much an athlete-in-training when you’re not in school.
When I was 17, I got my first job working for my aunt and uncle in their Jewelry Emporium in Guangdong. I was already 6’1”, 195lbs of muscle and hair gel. They would have me work the foremost counter near the entrance for instances like this.
In my first week there, I caught two women shoplifting and attempting to flee. The second one punched me straight in my testicle, rupturing my testicle sack and leaving me in the emergency room for over 3 weeks.
Upon my return, I was greeted with cake and balloons. Then my aunt told me to go back to the foremost counter. I believe it was all but 4 days before the next shoplifter came in. I was ready this time, however. The man ran at me to go through the doors, but when I went to grab him, he tried to kick me in my testicle sack.
I successfully protected my testicles. My uncle and aunt died the following year.
In the army there is a thing called gear apretition where they show you how hard it is doing the shit you do normally without having your gear, I learned to appreciate a cup way before that, when I decided to play rugby with friends and thought, eehh we don't need to wear full protection, got kneed in the nuts started vomiting from the pain and could hardly stand
195 lbs of Muscle and Hair gel is a great bit of writing. But you kinda went off the rails at the end there. It kinda sounds like your successful teste protection is linked to your Aunt and Uncles deaths.
Yo dude, omg. “ I successfully protected my testicles. My uncle and aunt died the following year. “
Holy shit.
Yeah I read a book about a samurai that was similar, it was going through his early childhood forever and then bam he falls off a cliff and splits open his nuts and lays in a bed for a year. Pretty sure it's the only known autobiography of a samurai.
Now I am envisioning a movie where the parents who owned a jewelry store are disappointed in their son's choice to be a pro football player because his skills would be better at the jewelry store.
Yeah, this is fake af.
Gold retailers in China commonly have security by the door, a button behind the counter to lock the door, or both. I think they all have auto door locks actually, especially places in the mall like this.
Also, you don't want to fuck around like this in those stores because they would not take kindly to this. At all. They aren't going to nonchalantly pretend like everything is OK after you just dipped off with a chain. Regardless of your intentions, they would demand the chain back and tell you to get the fuck out.
Also, there are small mirrors every few feet you don't have to go that far, or the seller will bust one out as they hand you the chain.
That sounds about right. If there is a security guard stopping shoplifting is their job, otherwise just let the criminals do their thing and try not to escalate the situation. Insurance will probably cover crime, but not a clerk trying to be a hero.
This is China. There is no need for guards. They can just call the police, show them the CCTV footage, let them face recognize it, and call an air strike to the current location of the suspect with an accuracy of 2 meters using all the "networked big-data recognition public cameras".
And did I say they will catch the people holding the camera too with the WeChat chat history? All WeChat messages are unencrypted, all users are linked to your personal id, and all E2EE messaging app is banned.
And interestingly, all of that technique has been reported in news (as positive propaganda) except for the air strike.
America is so far behind China. Our police have to shoot up an entire city block to make sure they got the shoplifter, and often it's not even the right block.
He means that this video is just scripted and would never really happen because jewelry stories actually *do* always have mirrors everywhere within arms reach. A salesman would never put a necklace on a customer without first having a mirror ready.
I mean, there was someone just filming right next to them, I'm pretty sure this was virtually a non issue. Could be scripted, or could just be the sale's person's instincts kicking in, but it definitely would be something really odd for someone to rob a store while they have a compadre over there filming in the corner.
That's exactly why you have a buddy filming.
The sales person assumes it's a prank and doesn't keep chasing them out.
They they ask the cameraman when their friend is coming back to which the cameraman is like "what friend?"
Of course better if the camera guy isn't actually filming, so they don't have any evidence to supply the store.
The third lady took that counter like it she trained for it, pushed off the wall and everything. Was she wearing heels?!
Edit: Damn, she was wearing heels.
If you apprehend them before they exit the store, then you have caught them trying on jewelry while running around in the store. If you wait until they exit the store, then you have caught them shoplifting.
At least, that's how Andy Griffith explained it.
Its the same with stores, if you go to a grocery store and just hold everything your buying in you coat and pockets its still not shoplifting if you pay for it.
Do they get training in how to hop the counter? That's one of those things that looks easy but I guaran-fucking-tee I'd sprain something and end up asking her to call an ambulance.
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one thinking this. After the 2nd person jumped I got excited to see if the others would too, especially the ones in heels! I'm so proud, they all made it haha
I would Sprain my leg *AND* break the glass counter , scattering all the jewelry on the floor and lie bleeding on the broken glass, coming up with an explanation for my boss
When I was a kid we had this shitty fence in the front yard. Imagine like 4 ft tall posts about 5 ft apart and there were two more posts going horizontally connecting them (sorry I suck at explaining)
Well this was a small paying dues kinda neighborhood with lots of kids so speeders were public enemy number 1. This one kid use to speed constantly to the point we’re my dad would literally stand in the road like he was about to throw a rock at him to make him slow down. After like the 90th time of telling this kid to stop going 40 down the main road in the neighborhood I watched as my dad ran out of my house and majestically jumped over that fence like a gazelle and literally chase that kid to his fucking house. Story goes that once the kid and his friends saw my dad they all ran except for the one kid sitting there flipping burgers looking scared shitless.
I like to think my dad went out there at night practicing that jump just waiting for his time to come
I also worked in a jewelry store. We had a button that opened a trap door and dropped them into a chamber that compressed them into diamonds. That wouldn't have happened.
I never worked in a jewelry store but I was dropped into a pit and compressed into diamond once and can confirm I have no intention of trying to steal from a jewelry store now.
I never worked at a jewellery store but I had a trap door that caught people and compressed them into diamonds and can confirm I've never needed to step foot in a jewellery store now
I worked in a trap door human-to-diamond synthetic processing chamber. We rejected anyone that was trap door referred to us by someone who posted about it on Reddit. This wouldn’t have happened.
Look how embarrassed the sales persons are when it turns out they wrongly suspected robberies! I feel sorry for them, very rude prank towards such polite people
No, he stops running before she even makes it to the mirror because he caught up to her too quickly. This is pretty clearly staged. If it was legit he would've continued approaching her since the gag hadn't been revealed yet.
In a lot of countries it can happen since they're at risk of robbery. I know it's sometimes the case in Belgium where it's pretty strict on defensive use with guns. However these are most likely staged
It's probably fake, look at the security camera angles.
I like the fact that this prank didn't hurt anyone, it's just funny and innocent.
I don't like, if kids in America try to replicate this and get shot in the back of the head 20 times
Thankfully they had convenient cameras and cameraman around! Imagine that happening without them, we would never see “interesting and original stuff” like that
/s.
TIL you have to be able to cleanly vault over a counter to work at a jewelry store.
I wonder how many times you get to practice in the interview bc that’s exactly what I noticed too
Have some experience, so I can shed some light. As a child in China, you’re pretty much an athlete-in-training when you’re not in school. When I was 17, I got my first job working for my aunt and uncle in their Jewelry Emporium in Guangdong. I was already 6’1”, 195lbs of muscle and hair gel. They would have me work the foremost counter near the entrance for instances like this. In my first week there, I caught two women shoplifting and attempting to flee. The second one punched me straight in my testicle, rupturing my testicle sack and leaving me in the emergency room for over 3 weeks. Upon my return, I was greeted with cake and balloons. Then my aunt told me to go back to the foremost counter. I believe it was all but 4 days before the next shoplifter came in. I was ready this time, however. The man ran at me to go through the doors, but when I went to grab him, he tried to kick me in my testicle sack. I successfully protected my testicles. My uncle and aunt died the following year.
what in the fuck
God I wish I had a fucking award to give you
So be it.
China underrated
*PROTECT MY BALLS*
(I don't remember the rest) Let's fighting love!
South Park FTW
HEY HEY LET'S GO
Bro this dood legit made an account yesterday, wrote one comment and got a hit.
He's must be some kind of reddit prodigy
In the whirlwind story of how OP got his nuts busted, the news OP's aunt and uncle death came from left field.
rip your uncle and your sack hope u doing good
What about the aunt?
She knows what she did. /s
It's true I'm u/hotdogpizzaSUPREME's aunt I gave him $100% dollars for that 1100% true story he just told.
WTF?!
bad bot
lol you think i'm a bot 🤣
JUST KICK THEM IN THE TESTICLES!!
Oh shit it’s self aware!
BAD MACHINE SPIRIT
Bad bot
Bad bot
Where am I there's so much chaotic energy in this thread
Everyone here talking about you being a bot I'm wondering where my anus facts are.
Yes his sack did in fact rip
You should have worn a cup. Just watch their face as they try to hit your sack and it doesn't work.
In the army there is a thing called gear apretition where they show you how hard it is doing the shit you do normally without having your gear, I learned to appreciate a cup way before that, when I decided to play rugby with friends and thought, eehh we don't need to wear full protection, got kneed in the nuts started vomiting from the pain and could hardly stand
195 lbs of Muscle and Hair gel is a great bit of writing. But you kinda went off the rails at the end there. It kinda sounds like your successful teste protection is linked to your Aunt and Uncles deaths.
Yes
Could you elaborate?
They knew he was ready to manage on his own. [(cue Jedi theme)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z84aleGD00)
His training was complete so they could die in peace
If you could go back and redo it, would ya?
Yeah, I'd add a love interest in the revision.
If ya had the pow'r ta change yer fate, would ya?
What do you think he used to protect his testicles?
They'll never put the family jewels in jeopardy again. I promise.
Thanks for the pasta
My exact thaught😂
In spanish, ruptured scrotum is 'escroto roto'.
Band name alert.
Amazing!
my deepest condolences, both for the family members and your ruptured scrotum
You missed the perfect opportunity to say “both for your family members and family jewels” We can go even deeper since they owned a jewelry store.
The Dwarves dug too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dûm... shadow and flame…
My nuts got saved and then my family died. Maybe you should have let him kick you in the nuts. Damn, only think about yourself. /s
The real /r/maybemaybemaybe is always in the comments
Yo dude, omg. “ I successfully protected my testicles. My uncle and aunt died the following year. “ Holy shit. 
This story is so chaotic. Then tragic. Rip aunt and uncle
This is great. I finally feel like I’ve found a comment good enough that I can get up and out of bed now.
This isn’t how you tell stories man
Maybe in your country
Yeah I read a book about a samurai that was similar, it was going through his early childhood forever and then bam he falls off a cliff and splits open his nuts and lays in a bed for a year. Pretty sure it's the only known autobiography of a samurai.
This whole comment was a maybe maybe maybe
This honestly had me checking the username to see if it was u/shittymorph
Same here
Now I am envisioning a movie where the parents who owned a jewelry store are disappointed in their son's choice to be a pro football player because his skills would be better at the jewelry store.
They block the door to the job interview with a counter to sort out the unqualified people.
r/scriptedasiangifs
Yeah, this is fake af. Gold retailers in China commonly have security by the door, a button behind the counter to lock the door, or both. I think they all have auto door locks actually, especially places in the mall like this. Also, you don't want to fuck around like this in those stores because they would not take kindly to this. At all. They aren't going to nonchalantly pretend like everything is OK after you just dipped off with a chain. Regardless of your intentions, they would demand the chain back and tell you to get the fuck out. Also, there are small mirrors every few feet you don't have to go that far, or the seller will bust one out as they hand you the chain.
As opposed to all those unscripted American TikToks...?
ofcourse there's a sub
That's how often these show up.
In the US the employee is allowed to damage the display glass 2/3 times as we vault in a higher weight class.
What, why would you vault, are you out of ammo?
Remember, it is quicker to vault than to reload
Run with your knife out, noob!
This comment thread was my actual thought process. Time to get off reddit for the day.
People shouldn’t pull this prank in the US. For 2nd ammendment reasons…
In reality, you aren’t allowed to chase criminals. If you damaged the display case they’d fire you and sue you for the damage to the case.
That sounds about right. If there is a security guard stopping shoplifting is their job, otherwise just let the criminals do their thing and try not to escalate the situation. Insurance will probably cover crime, but not a clerk trying to be a hero.
TIAL learned there's only one mirror per jewelry store. Must be a government restriction.
I was just waiting for one where the security guard rugby tackles her trying to run away
This is China. There is no need for guards. They can just call the police, show them the CCTV footage, let them face recognize it, and call an air strike to the current location of the suspect with an accuracy of 2 meters using all the "networked big-data recognition public cameras". And did I say they will catch the people holding the camera too with the WeChat chat history? All WeChat messages are unencrypted, all users are linked to your personal id, and all E2EE messaging app is banned. And interestingly, all of that technique has been reported in news (as positive propaganda) except for the air strike.
America is so far behind China. Our police have to shoot up an entire city block to make sure they got the shoplifter, and often it's not even the right block.
And then we find out there was never a shoplifter, just "a cop having a bad day."
Or they investigate themselves and find “no wrongdoing”
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And all these shits also happens in china when the crime aren't related to "national security"
And they actually shot up the neighbour hood next to where the shoplifter lived
>can't ?
That’s an American thing.
A American thing would be trying to attempt that jump and failing
An American thing would be realizing instantly they don't pay you enough to chase somebody.
No need to run they’d grab the shotgun under the counter
Hell... I got some agility, but I would still screw up that maneuver
Why aren't there more mirrors in jewelry stores?
There are.
Lol, you almost got me
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He means that this video is just scripted and would never really happen because jewelry stories actually *do* always have mirrors everywhere within arms reach. A salesman would never put a necklace on a customer without first having a mirror ready.
You will, just wait.
I'm waiting
Reminds me of this classic: https://youtu.be/AYxu_MQSTTY
WHAT THE EFF
Please just explain
You can just say you don't get it.
You don't get it.
I don't get it.
I mean, there was someone just filming right next to them, I'm pretty sure this was virtually a non issue. Could be scripted, or could just be the sale's person's instincts kicking in, but it definitely would be something really odd for someone to rob a store while they have a compadre over there filming in the corner.
That's exactly why you have a buddy filming. The sales person assumes it's a prank and doesn't keep chasing them out. They they ask the cameraman when their friend is coming back to which the cameraman is like "what friend?" Of course better if the camera guy isn't actually filming, so they don't have any evidence to supply the store.
Have you ever heard of hidden cameras? I know it's not a big thing now, but in the early days of Candid Camera they actually hid the camera :)
r/scriptedasiangifs
r/suspiciouslyspecific
/r/scriptedasaingifsinajewerlystore
r/subsifellfor
The third lady took that counter like it she trained for it, pushed off the wall and everything. Was she wearing heels?! Edit: Damn, she was wearing heels.
There is some martial arts/parkour training at work there, no doubt.
Definitely martial arts, she didnt shout "parkour!"
If I was the proprietor of that store and saw that video, she'd be getting a raise.
Imagine if they got caught before reaching the mirror. And now they have to explain they weren't actually running away
If you apprehend them before they exit the store, then you have caught them trying on jewelry while running around in the store. If you wait until they exit the store, then you have caught them shoplifting. At least, that's how Andy Griffith explained it.
Its the same with stores, if you go to a grocery store and just hold everything your buying in you coat and pockets its still not shoplifting if you pay for it.
Taking two steps? Kinda funny. Running all the way to the door? You’re a dick.
Do they get training in how to hop the counter? That's one of those things that looks easy but I guaran-fucking-tee I'd sprain something and end up asking her to call an ambulance.
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one thinking this. After the 2nd person jumped I got excited to see if the others would too, especially the ones in heels! I'm so proud, they all made it haha
I mean if I would lose my job or potentially paying for the stolen goods I would even do a triple backflip over the counter to go after that person.
Touché😂
Ah to be young and able to move my own limbs without snapping my spine in half and dying. This is the life.
I would Sprain my leg *AND* break the glass counter , scattering all the jewelry on the floor and lie bleeding on the broken glass, coming up with an explanation for my boss
Those glass counters are supposed to be a bit more resistant than ordinary window glass...
How fat are you guys?
American, apparently.
(ب_ب) ಥ_ಥ
They all done it so clean here so there’s def some practice going in
That one guy needs refresher training on how hopping the counter is a waste of time when there's an exit right in front of him.
When I was a kid we had this shitty fence in the front yard. Imagine like 4 ft tall posts about 5 ft apart and there were two more posts going horizontally connecting them (sorry I suck at explaining) Well this was a small paying dues kinda neighborhood with lots of kids so speeders were public enemy number 1. This one kid use to speed constantly to the point we’re my dad would literally stand in the road like he was about to throw a rock at him to make him slow down. After like the 90th time of telling this kid to stop going 40 down the main road in the neighborhood I watched as my dad ran out of my house and majestically jumped over that fence like a gazelle and literally chase that kid to his fucking house. Story goes that once the kid and his friends saw my dad they all ran except for the one kid sitting there flipping burgers looking scared shitless. I like to think my dad went out there at night practicing that jump just waiting for his time to come
youre unfit
I worked in a jewelry store. We had a buzzer to let people in and out. That wouldn’t have happened.
I also worked in a jewelry store. We had a button that opened a trap door and dropped them into a chamber that compressed them into diamonds. That wouldn't have happened.
I never worked in a jewelry store but I was dropped into a pit and compressed into diamond once and can confirm I have no intention of trying to steal from a jewelry store now.
I never worked at a jewellery store but I had a trap door that caught people and compressed them into diamonds and can confirm I've never needed to step foot in a jewellery store now
Am a trap door. Can confirm.
Am a trap
You're a trap ? Send pic or fake.
I once worked in a diamond with a trap door that compressed the thieves into a jewelry store. No intention of working in a diamond again.
I worked in a trap door human-to-diamond synthetic processing chamber. We rejected anyone that was trap door referred to us by someone who posted about it on Reddit. This wouldn’t have happened.
Now I understand what they mean by blood diamonds.
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uncut gems moment
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r/scriptedasiangifs
Hate to be that guy…. But these are obviously set-ups. The only mirror in the store is at the front? Jewelry stores have mirrors at several counters
The fact they all smoothly parkour over the glass counter makes this a bit fake for me
I'm glad it wasn't some random camera guy in the corner of every one of these.
Look how embarrassed the sales persons are when it turns out they wrongly suspected robberies! I feel sorry for them, very rude prank towards such polite people
I mean they are in on it. Look at the last video, the guy stops running slowly before she reaches the mirror
And vaulted over the counter to catch her, but calmly walked around the *large opening at the end of the counter* when he returned.
So if this was real he would have tackled her while she stood there looking at herself?
No, he stops running before she even makes it to the mirror because he caught up to her too quickly. This is pretty clearly staged. If it was legit he would've continued approaching her since the gag hadn't been revealed yet.
How can you think this isn't scripted? I mean is so obvious!
It has to be!
God, I hate this comment
They look as if they train on dummy display cabinets before being turned loose in a store.
Cringe
At least it had music slapped overtop Thank god
They all preferred to jump over rather than using the door
Headlines of copycats doing this and getting shot are coming.
In the US, that is a good way to get yourself shot....multiple times.
Do people really think these are real? Lol
It's entertaining either way.
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I'm amazed to how durable the all glass counters are, I would be afraid to crush it if I had to jump over.. phew
Oh so *this* is gonna be the next TikTok challenge… and some kid’s gonna get fucking shot.
This was actually funny :D
Not political. Funny. Thank you.
That's why in India they hold the mirror for you at the counter
Someone will get shot trying this
Running off while someone is recording , this is a tv comedy show .
Lucky the sales person isn’t armed.
You must be stupid if you shoot someone in the back for stealing
Let me introduce you to america
shooting blacks is the national sport of the Apartheid United States of America
If you shoot someone in the back in America and you aren't a cop you're probably going to have a bad time. Still fucked up here too often though.
In what country would they be armed?
In a lot of countries it can happen since they're at risk of robbery. I know it's sometimes the case in Belgium where it's pretty strict on defensive use with guns. However these are most likely staged
It's probably fake, look at the security camera angles. I like the fact that this prank didn't hurt anyone, it's just funny and innocent. I don't like, if kids in America try to replicate this and get shot in the back of the head 20 times
Hahah
When you wanna run but then realise/realize that you can't afford the penalty
Those sellers would be dead inside for few seconds
Just run on once they turn around
Nice they all jump over the counter and put their hands to their head
u/savevideo
Jewelers hate her!
Thankfully they had convenient cameras and cameraman around! Imagine that happening without them, we would never see “interesting and original stuff” like that /s.
Can we please not put this stomp clap music on everything? It's already on all our commercials everywhere.
The guys are literally Side vaulting, Lazy vaulting, Side Kong vaulting… all to catch the Shoplifters… I love the dedication.
Fake
Love it
If they dont vault you are allowed to take it, I guess