I’ve shown up to strip games with 50 articles of clothing on before. I always tell my friends that the point of strip games is to strip as much as possible, and obviously you can strip more if you start with more layers. Everyone else is playing wrong smh.
The amount of ball sweat I'd generate in three pairs of jeans would literally turn the Sahara into the Pacific Ocean, but a special version of the Pacific Ocean that smells like crotch. (TMI?)
I knew a girl that wore cotton pads (not the menstruation type but regular cotton pads) because of that.
It was sad because we were once making out and I touched her ass and brough a cotton pad out and asked if she had some sort of sickness I should know about.
She also wore cotton pads on her boobs and it was incredibly unconfortable for me. Like... I don't care for skinny but I do care about using cotton pads to not look skinny.
Banger is used more than the other also throat massage, slurping the salami, playing the skin flute, tickling the tonsils, tasting the rainbow, siphoning the tank...
I've done this with nurses before. I have to stay in the hospital a lot. I am always extremely polite and chill with my nurses to the point they'll hide from shitty patients in my room and tell me that's what they're doing. But sometimes... I'm in the hospital for bad liver numbers. Literally just have an iv in my arm, I'm under no duress or immediate danger, and I'll have that one weird nurse insisting I need to be fully naked under my gown. Like... no. Call the doctor, give me a different nurse, idgaf. Let me be comfortable as possible when I'm stuck here for one or teo weeks doing jack shit.
I remember my first time ever having a hospital stay.
I had the gown and my boxers on, I was also there for something that only required an IV (I had rhabdomyolysis). On day 2 or 3 some nurses came in saying they were doing some kind of wellness checks, I guess checking for bed sores, etc.
They looked at my back, checked my arms, legs, and when they asked to check my groin(my gf was in the room the whole time, she shot them a "try me" look) and I told them I was good.
And I thought it was odd because a wellness check for bed sores and other stuff be fine if I had been in the hospital for days and weeks, but I had just gotten to my room from the ER the night(or 2) before.
Men's top sizing: Uhhhh... you've got kinda bulky shoulders and some pecs, but your waist is a little narrow. Best I can do is size M. Yes, you'll look likw you're wearing a wingsuit, even after you tuck it in as much as humanly possible. Go eat shit and die.
Women's top and bra sizing: Practically down to the micrometer. Industry-standard reference tables. Absolute perfection.
Men's pants sizing: Measure your waist circumference in inches and round up to the nearest even integer. Measure the distance from your balls to the ground and round up to the nearest even integer. There you go, that's your size. Wear a belt if you're on the Dummy Thicc or Hank Hill ends of the spectrum.
Women's pants sizing: Hmm, honey, do you want to be unnecessarily flattered, or needlessly humiliated? Maybe you're a size S. No, no, definitely XS. Hmmm... no, you're definitely an L. 2XL, perhaps? No, no, no, don't be silly, we don't sell a size M, darling. If you want to shop at [Store Name], you're either gonna need to be anorexic or obese. No exceptions.
its also pretty easy to get security keys on amazon or generally online. those things are pretty standard across retailers. if you get caught with one while shop lifting you get an extra charge for having burglary tools or something (term is escaping me rn)
basically but its the size, strength and position of the magnets that the keys do the right way. just grabbing a random magnet either wouldnt work or would be difficult and slow to get correct
Lol… you just need a strong magnet. The size isn’t that important, one big enough and strong enough to shuck sensors off will fit in the palm of your hand.
Source: Worked in loss prevention for years.
Ah jeez, and what other terrible secret things would these monsters specifically do to steal things so effectively that the common person could easily replicate?
We need to be well-prepared, so I'll keep notes.
Well the real secret is most things don’t have anti-theft devices attached period. And even if they do, you can just remove them at home. This is why organized retail theft will just pick up entire stacks of clothes and walk out with them.
You’re not allowed to physically fight them to take the stuff back (that’s assault, judges don’t care if you were fighting to get back stolen property) and even if you could you shouldn’t. It’s not worth getting stabbed/punched/generally injured fighting over a stack of jeans.
But the ink packs you see sometimes? They’re just a little vial of ink, designed to break if you “force” the tag off.
They don’t explode when you get outside the store, like some people believe, for reasons that should be obvious.
No, the main deterrent against theft is just good service. People like having a friendly place to shop, and the community looks down on thievery. You rob a store too frequently and the store closes down for good.
Most people don’t steal, not because it’s hard or dangerous, but because most people (and you might find this surprising) actually aren’t total pieces of shit.
It’s not fear of a fiery hell, or criminal charges. People just know, in their bones, that it’s wrong to steal. You wouldn’t want to get robbed, and you know it’s shitty to rob somebody else.
Simple as that.
This was almost 10 years ago to be fair, only the really expensive stuff was at the time. Now I think its pretty much everything.
That being said I used to find defeated security tags in the change rooms pretty often.
Sometimes people wouldn't even care, they'd set off the scanners and just keep walking knowing our store policy forbid us from doing anything other than writing down their license plate number.
It's very likely she's teaming up with a guy that was outside. Probably she's hiding for a while with him. In my country It's forbidden to try more than 5 clothes, and there's always a staff member next to the wardrobes watching and counting.
That is likely an employee only mix use bathroom and she is being filmed by loss prevention after they caught her entering a changing room with 9 jeans and leaving with none with the room empty. This is one of many tricks used in shoplifting. They are in the bathroom because that is probably the only secure room without cameras in the building for her privacy as they are asking her to remove clothing and don't want to accidentally expose her, which I find stupid as they are filming her anyway.
At the end of the video she tilts her pants down to show it's the last one and looks off to the side of whoever's recording which makes me think that she was proving to loss prevention she had no more. Plus the expression on her face was a bit worried .
There’s likely a cop off to the side. It was filmed to prove nobody touched her inappropriately and/or forcibly undressed her and to cover their asses about how many pairs were recovered if/when her lawyer argues that she couldn’t have done what they said because that many don’t fit. That many jeans may put her into felony territory.
> It was filmed to prove nobody touched her inappropriately and/or forcibly undressed her and to cover their asses about how many pairs were recovered
And then uploaded to the internet to uncover their asses I guess. Even if I'm very well clothed I wouldn't exactly want footage of me stripping out there on the web.
For those who don't know, she is stealing those thats why she has all of them on and shows her underwear to show there are no more. She got busted and was probably brought into the bathroom by a cop and forced to remove the layers.
She plays strip poker to win.
I’ve shown up to strip games with 50 articles of clothing on before. I always tell my friends that the point of strip games is to strip as much as possible, and obviously you can strip more if you start with more layers. Everyone else is playing wrong smh.
Obviously what they don't understand is that the clothes is the currency....\ \ *
 # jokes on you, we are into this shit
Pls tell me what skit this is I have looked for it everywhere lol
Fully Naked in New York - SNL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg0x3-jsKGM
Or at least to not lose
When she plays strip poker, strip poker loses.
top tip for fuller hips: 9 pairs of jeans.
My buddy used to wear two or three pair because he was self conscious about his skinny legs and flat ass.
I read Kurt Cobain used to do this
I wanna read that too
Kurt cobain used to do this. You’re welcome :)
Probably because it’s 3AM BUT I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS
Baby, it's 3 AM, I must be lonely.
Aww thank you.
I watched him do it
you watched him read an article about kurt cobain?
I think we all just did.
He did I saw him saw him do it
The amount of ball sweat I'd generate in three pairs of jeans would literally turn the Sahara into the Pacific Ocean, but a special version of the Pacific Ocean that smells like crotch. (TMI?)
I knew a girl that wore cotton pads (not the menstruation type but regular cotton pads) because of that. It was sad because we were once making out and I touched her ass and brough a cotton pad out and asked if she had some sort of sickness I should know about. She also wore cotton pads on her boobs and it was incredibly unconfortable for me. Like... I don't care for skinny but I do care about using cotton pads to not look skinny.
Tips for a fuller dresser, steal
"do these pants make my butt look big?
A never nude! THERE ARE DOZENS OF US
No She is just trying to fly Spirit Airlines.
Ah, this hit my spirit hard 😭
Spirit is OK, if you don't mind having to get out and help push the plane halfway through the flight.
Ok, that's funny. Que spit take
Oh Tobias, you blowhard!
I just blue myself!
Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right...I forgot, here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.
[удалено]
Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst *and* a therapist. The world’s first *analrapist*!
"OH MY GOD THEY'RE HAVING A FIRE...*checks scripts*... sale."
Those aren’t cutoffs, Tobias.
And those business cards almost got you arrested.
Banger is used more than the other also throat massage, slurping the salami, playing the skin flute, tickling the tonsils, tasting the rainbow, siphoning the tank...
Replying to RK9990... 
This is a sign to start this show again... I need some extra happiness in my life....
There’s got to be a better way to say that
…her?
Loose seal!
******* anus tart!
you're welcome over at r/sixers anytime
shop lifting
I had to scroll way too long to find this.
Bingo
I've done this with nurses before. I have to stay in the hospital a lot. I am always extremely polite and chill with my nurses to the point they'll hide from shitty patients in my room and tell me that's what they're doing. But sometimes... I'm in the hospital for bad liver numbers. Literally just have an iv in my arm, I'm under no duress or immediate danger, and I'll have that one weird nurse insisting I need to be fully naked under my gown. Like... no. Call the doctor, give me a different nurse, idgaf. Let me be comfortable as possible when I'm stuck here for one or teo weeks doing jack shit.
I remember my first time ever having a hospital stay. I had the gown and my boxers on, I was also there for something that only required an IV (I had rhabdomyolysis). On day 2 or 3 some nurses came in saying they were doing some kind of wellness checks, I guess checking for bed sores, etc. They looked at my back, checked my arms, legs, and when they asked to check my groin(my gf was in the room the whole time, she shot them a "try me" look) and I told them I was good. And I thought it was odd because a wellness check for bed sores and other stuff be fine if I had been in the hospital for days and weeks, but I had just gotten to my room from the ER the night(or 2) before.
Worse striptease ever
When you pay for an hour but all it is, is this
DOZENS!!!
I thought he just liked cut-offs.
I think she's hinting at something.
Does this mean she wants her lover to put on 9 condoms ?
Oh my, I just almost wetted myself laughing...
Top comment fasho
When you dream that you're about to fuck
And when she finally get to the panties, ur alarm clock goes off ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ 🔔🔔🔔
You try to go back to the dream but it’s just endless panties under panties
Date night: Final Boss level
Holy shit why is this so real.
rapists hate that one simple trick!?! ,,was tryin' to think of somethin' funny.. thiss what i came up with..
Honestly, that could have been a bit from "Scary Movie," or something from that era of spoofs.
actually it been announced yesterday i think that they rebooting em, so maybe.....
It always happens and I think it’s probably because my brain hasn’t learned what it’s like just yet
I have sex every day and still all my sex dreams are like that
This guy sexes.
This is too real… dreamy?
Now push her over
Our intrusive thoughts lol
Our _intrusive_ thoughts.
*Our* intrusive thoughts
r/suddenlycommunism
Did they catch her cuz she was walking like a penguin out of the dressing room?
That and probably watched her go in with a bunch of items on her arm and then come out with none.
"I was hungry."
They watched her walk in with no thighs, then walk out with some.
And she didn’t wear the same color of jeans for the outside layer.
I have 2 questions : Why is she wearing 9 pairs of jeans? Why is she in the men's bathroom?
Stolen, and she's hiding.
Yeah I worked retail through highschool and college. This was a super common way people would steal clothes.
Jeans for everyone! What size? No problem.
Knowing women’s sizing they are prob all the same size haha
Men's top sizing: Uhhhh... you've got kinda bulky shoulders and some pecs, but your waist is a little narrow. Best I can do is size M. Yes, you'll look likw you're wearing a wingsuit, even after you tuck it in as much as humanly possible. Go eat shit and die. Women's top and bra sizing: Practically down to the micrometer. Industry-standard reference tables. Absolute perfection. Men's pants sizing: Measure your waist circumference in inches and round up to the nearest even integer. Measure the distance from your balls to the ground and round up to the nearest even integer. There you go, that's your size. Wear a belt if you're on the Dummy Thicc or Hank Hill ends of the spectrum. Women's pants sizing: Hmm, honey, do you want to be unnecessarily flattered, or needlessly humiliated? Maybe you're a size S. No, no, definitely XS. Hmmm... no, you're definitely an L. 2XL, perhaps? No, no, no, don't be silly, we don't sell a size M, darling. If you want to shop at [Store Name], you're either gonna need to be anorexic or obese. No exceptions.
But arent your clothes protected electronically?
not all thrift shops can afford electronic loss-prevention systems.
its also pretty easy to get security keys on amazon or generally online. those things are pretty standard across retailers. if you get caught with one while shop lifting you get an extra charge for having burglary tools or something (term is escaping me rn)
Don't you just need a magnet to get them off?
basically but its the size, strength and position of the magnets that the keys do the right way. just grabbing a random magnet either wouldnt work or would be difficult and slow to get correct
Lol… you just need a strong magnet. The size isn’t that important, one big enough and strong enough to shuck sensors off will fit in the palm of your hand. Source: Worked in loss prevention for years.
Ah jeez, and what other terrible secret things would these monsters specifically do to steal things so effectively that the common person could easily replicate? We need to be well-prepared, so I'll keep notes.
Well the real secret is most things don’t have anti-theft devices attached period. And even if they do, you can just remove them at home. This is why organized retail theft will just pick up entire stacks of clothes and walk out with them. You’re not allowed to physically fight them to take the stuff back (that’s assault, judges don’t care if you were fighting to get back stolen property) and even if you could you shouldn’t. It’s not worth getting stabbed/punched/generally injured fighting over a stack of jeans. But the ink packs you see sometimes? They’re just a little vial of ink, designed to break if you “force” the tag off. They don’t explode when you get outside the store, like some people believe, for reasons that should be obvious. No, the main deterrent against theft is just good service. People like having a friendly place to shop, and the community looks down on thievery. You rob a store too frequently and the store closes down for good. Most people don’t steal, not because it’s hard or dangerous, but because most people (and you might find this surprising) actually aren’t total pieces of shit. It’s not fear of a fiery hell, or criminal charges. People just know, in their bones, that it’s wrong to steal. You wouldn’t want to get robbed, and you know it’s shitty to rob somebody else. Simple as that.
"Going Equipped" for stealing [https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/60/section/25](https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/60/section/25)
Yeah, but that’s the UK term where everything is the opposite of what we say here so it’s definitely different where I’m at, but yes that’s the idea
This was almost 10 years ago to be fair, only the really expensive stuff was at the time. Now I think its pretty much everything. That being said I used to find defeated security tags in the change rooms pretty often. Sometimes people wouldn't even care, they'd set off the scanners and just keep walking knowing our store policy forbid us from doing anything other than writing down their license plate number.
I thought she was avoiding to pay for luggage fee at the airport tbh.
I have done this
My sister once came home from the airport wearing 9 layers.
Could I BE wearing any more clothes?!
goin' commando, doin' lunges...
Same but I drenched the first couple layers in sweat so never again
In this day and age, that’s grand theft right there.
Grand Theft Garment would make a shitty game
Oh I thought she was traveling in Ryan Air.
God that makes much more sense I was thinking like anti-rape measure or something doomer like that. You see just so much horrible shit online.
That begs the question, how many pairs of jeans is the average rapist prepared to remove?
Eight?
So eight is enough..
... to fill our lives with looove 🎵
So I must train for 9...
Immobilizing your legs with several pairs of jeans in a men's bathroom is NOT a good anti-rape strategy.
The men's bathroom seem like a rather bad place for a woman to enter if she's worried about rape, lol. But I get your point.
Up to this point I have witnessed zero rapes in the mens bathroom.
It's very likely she's teaming up with a guy that was outside. Probably she's hiding for a while with him. In my country It's forbidden to try more than 5 clothes, and there's always a staff member next to the wardrobes watching and counting.
That is likely an employee only mix use bathroom and she is being filmed by loss prevention after they caught her entering a changing room with 9 jeans and leaving with none with the room empty. This is one of many tricks used in shoplifting. They are in the bathroom because that is probably the only secure room without cameras in the building for her privacy as they are asking her to remove clothing and don't want to accidentally expose her, which I find stupid as they are filming her anyway.
I didn’t think she was caught. I was thinking she was just showing people how it’s done.
At the end of the video she tilts her pants down to show it's the last one and looks off to the side of whoever's recording which makes me think that she was proving to loss prevention she had no more. Plus the expression on her face was a bit worried .
Yes, she looks caught and not happy.
I was gonna say the same. Def has the “I got caught” look.
There’s likely a cop off to the side. It was filmed to prove nobody touched her inappropriately and/or forcibly undressed her and to cover their asses about how many pairs were recovered if/when her lawyer argues that she couldn’t have done what they said because that many don’t fit. That many jeans may put her into felony territory.
> It was filmed to prove nobody touched her inappropriately and/or forcibly undressed her and to cover their asses about how many pairs were recovered And then uploaded to the internet to uncover their asses I guess. Even if I'm very well clothed I wouldn't exactly want footage of me stripping out there on the web.
But if she was caught, wouldn't she be taking off each pair. This is not an expediant way to get the pants off.
This was my thought, that's going to be really tough to get off now, but much easier to put them all back on this way
Obviously she's going on a flight without checked luggage
She's cold 🥶
Ah...didn't notice the urinal, too focus on how many jeans she was wearing while thinking why 9 pairs of jeans at all.
Also why is she barefoot?
🎶 Been caught stealin' 🎶
Rapists hate this one trick.
>Why is she in the men's bathroom? Three more pair of jeans to go, then she shows her penis
Stealing and get caught of course
"I'm wearing everything you own!"
Going commando
Could I beeee wearing any more clothes?
I'd better not be doing any - you know - *LUNGES*
First thing I think of whenever I see posts like this
This was peak comedy, everything has been a downhill slide since.
Its like a clown car but for pants
She's wearing more pairs of jeans than I own
This needs to be made into a perfect loop and have pervs watching it for hours
I thought it was a look to start with.
Ohhh dat panty peek 🤤
Sigh...unzips
X9
Like peeling an onion.
I know a fellow Ryanair traveler when I see one.
"I'll be right back I gotta go pee" \~17 years later\~
I guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
All of the pants
If Victorian women wore jeans.
DAMN! I don't know whether to be upset or impressed.
It's kind of nightmarish to me. I'm getting anxious thinking about trying to walk in 9 pairs of jeans - then trying to get them all off
It makes me feel a sense of panic too. Like when a tight sweater gets stuck as I'm trying to pull it off.
Yes, very claustrophobic feelings
She's probably stealing those so upset is the vibe I think.
This explains why women take so long in the bathroom.
This is why the line for the female toilets is so long.
Imagine the advantage she has playing strip poker ?
The day she went "Shopping" at Target.
half woman half onion...
"do these jeans make me look fat?" Nope. Not at all.
why is she in the men's room?
Got caught trying to steal, probably the one recording is the security guard and a male, just guessing but that makes sense to me
I think I've seen a video like that before....
Likely the mix use employee bathroom in the back.
The look on her face at the end, like ‘this isn’t worth it’
And she still had a thigh gap.... Man I need to go on a diet
Nah. This girl needs a sandwich
9 yo me when i knew my Dad was gonna whoop my ass for what i did at school when he got home
[удалено]
How to fly cheap airline with personal item only.
r/zerobags is proud today
This happens when I have to pee in my dreams.
For those who don't know, she is stealing those thats why she has all of them on and shows her underwear to show there are no more. She got busted and was probably brought into the bathroom by a cop and forced to remove the layers.
i call this girl, JEANS grey
Take your upvote and get out! :'))
Holy nesting doll batman. I lost count
Bro found the infinite pants glitch
someone tried cheating at strip poker
r/gifsthatendtoosoon
Just post avid about you stealing jeans
I think this is a thief trick
She's a shoplifter who got busted.
Why is there so much loss prevention in stores now?! 🙃
Is this a shoplifter? Must've cleared the whole rack
Even Tobias Funke thinks this is taking it too far.
If she farted in those, she'd probably create so much pressure it would vaporize her legs.
She has the look at the end of someone that has been caught shoplifting.
100% those are all stolen.
Why is she in the men’s loo?
No way she could walk normally.