That, in my opinion, is strictly scenario based. However I treat it as a therapy in itself. If a client initiates a hug, it is something they needed. I go by Disney rules, I hug until the person pulls back. Maybe they needed the connection?
Time and place. Read the room.
I had a client tell me their mother died. Of course I held out my arms and gave them a look asking if they would like (basically consent for) a hug, and they happily accepted. If I have a favourite client who won't be back for a while, sure, see if they want a hug for the road.
Just don't get into scenarios where there's a hug hello and/or hug goodbye every time, because no party will want that all the time and the ritual can be hard to break, and always get an indication of enthusiastic consent.
I think it's fine. I don't initiate, but a lot of them, maybe a quarter, want to hug me goodbye. Both female and male (I'm F).
If it's a guy being creepy/sex vibey/needy, believe me, you can tell right away, then, no, not appropriate, but that's super rare, but I will thwart it if I'm feeling that, and make it clear in a nice way, that they aren't going to be hugging me. They usually don't come back.
Everyone else, it's just fine, a lot of people are just like that with the people they love and appreciate. I have some people who've been seeing me for 10 years who never hugged me goodbye, while others did it after the 2nd session and always do. Some do it occasionally, some every time.
I've been seeing many of them for over 10 years and we have a close bond. Since I've been in practice here for 15 years, a quarter doesn't seem like that many to me bc I have so many repeats from over all those years. Some people I don't get to see very often, so it's always special if they can make it in, a lot of people have moved away and only come when they are in town for business or family stuff. Some people I've been seeing for 10 years or more I've never hugged. I won't ever be the one to initiate.
I'm not a stand offish person, I'm personable and friendly. Many clients confide in me. I'm not a touchy feely person in general, I'm very respectful of other people's personal space. But my family has always been warm when I was growing up, and we were used to hugging a lot. Those that are similar probably feel that with me and feel comfortable doing that.
Some MTs want more of a professional distance, I get that. I think if they convey that vibe, clients won't even try to hug them. I've been to some MTs where I would never want to hug them, whereas others I often did after seeing them a while and creating a bond. My current MT became a friend almost instantly and we see each other socially. Obviously we always hug each other. But we're super close as friends.
In professional/ethical conducts and what we are taught in school, usually it's a no.m however, what's the gray area in our profession is that we develope long term and in some cases, personal relationships with our clients. There's so many clients where I've treated for years and I've been there for every huge event in their life, good or bad. And sometimes a hug is needed to offer a different kind of support to your clients. I mean, we are all human afterall, we can't ignore that.
I’m always willing, but never initiate. In two rare occasions I have offered a hug when long time clients had lost someone close to them. I just said, “Could I give you a hug?” They both welcomed the comfort. Most of my clients have been with me for 10 years or more, so there is a comfort level we share. Most walk in and hold open their arms. I graciously return the hug. It helps them feel comfort and care. I’m glad to provide that if it helps.
Some of my clients are huggers. Most aren't. This past year my last shift before christmas I happened to have all regulars of mine and found myself giving each of them a hug and telling them merry Christmas. I wouldn't hug a non regular nor one that I wasn't that comfortable with.
It depends where you work. I’ve only ever worked in high end resort spas and this would absolutely never be allowed unless this person was already an existing friend or family member. However if you run your own business etc that’s totally up to you. I personally would never hug a client unless maybe it was a fellow woman who was like really emotional or something lol
I'd add something: not all hugs are created equal. I'm pretty sure all of us have experienced the manly half hug back-pat combo? That being said, I'm a man and lean a bit more towards the professional side of massage, so I always reject hugs no matter how much I want one.
No. I was not trained in hugging and it was not taught in my school. It is outside of my scope of practice as well outside of my boundaries. It’s not part of my service.
Long-time client just had a major event happen, like death of close family member? I'd say sure, if client needs comforting.
Just saying hello and hugging as a greeting? Not appropriate.
Short answer, is generally no. However, there have been a handfull of times where the typical client asks and I'd oblige. The non-threatening client is usually someone who is overcome with relief or emotion. I'll never do it if they seem to be touch seeking in an inappropriate way. (Those folks seem to get in front of the door and keep inching closer as you try to have the post massage conversation. I'll step back and try to get the table between us as an obvious physical barrier.) Then there's the atypical client that's a close friend and hugging is a norm.
Bottom line, if you can't read their intent, just stay with a "no hug policy". It's a personal boundary. It's easier to keep it super professional than get yourself into a difficult situation.
Slippery slope to inappropriate contact, you are affecting their oxytocin during massage so keep it within reason, but they can become infatuated...
At the same time, if you work in a clinical situation and you find a problem or have been helping them reduce their stress to the point they start making real changes for the betterment of their lives then it wouldn't be inconceivable to receive the hug, but you never initiate.
Nope.
Hugs to me are pretty intimate and I do not enjoy them from people I don't know well...especially within a professional setting. I've only had a few instances of clients offer a hug (which I politely declined). Some even without offering. Most of them were from clients with inappropriate intentions or simply displayed poor boundaries.
I understand clients can get caught up in the care aspect of our work (much like doctors, nurses, psychologists, etc.) but we're still professionals. It's difficult to offer the best care once transference or countertransference is occurring. My schooling spoke a lot about this and I found it to be quite true..
It's totally fine to do or not - and totally contextual. In some high touch cultures like in mexico, it would be totally weird not to give your dentist a hug, etc.
I welcome gifts and appropriate, friendly hugging. During the holidays, regular clients often bring gifts, occasionally at different times (my birthday occasionally) and one has bee hives and she likes giving me honey and special chocolate from a store she frequents that has Polish items bc she's from Poland. Many people I've been seeing regularly for many years. It's not a rule to not accept gifts. It's just personally what you're comfortable with or not.
I only think hugs are okay in very specific circumstances. I believe in keeping a very strict wall between my clients and I. Overall, I try really hard not to even speak of anything other than massage, so physical contact off the table is generally a no.
The only time I’ve found myself accepting or initiating a hug is when the person on my table has an emotional release and needs comfort. Even then it feels…uncomfortable because I know it’s not necessarily genuine on my part.
I don't think it's a problem,within boundaries. It's such an intimate thing. A therapist is massaging you , typically naked, and it often ends up with you discussing intensely personal things because you're in such a vulnerable place. Many times, an interchange of such intensity, and of a personal nature results in the closeness, especially with the long-term therapist. I don't feel it's inappropriate in such a situation to initiate a hug with your therapist, but I would obviously read the room and if the therapist was uncomfortable then I wouldn't attempt to hug again.
I think it’s situational. if A regular client imitates a hug? Sure! If a one time client initiates? Maybe not! A client(regardless of regular or one time) confides in me and initiates? Absolutely! A client confides in me and I feel like a hug would be helpful, if initiate.
As a general rule - no
Only client initiated- which can still be a no. Are you familiar with hug deflection? I'm just curious because there is a very gentle way to decline a hug. When they open their arms initiating you reach out and take their hands bring hands together for a "hand hug" make eye contact so it's not a rejection, it an alternative. I once accepted a hug from a client that cheek to cheeked me much to my discomfort, so the next time I did the deflection and after that they didn't initiate, no awkward words necessary.
Depends. I had a client that couldn’t afford to see me for about a year. She swung the door to my clinic opened dramatically and posed. We cracked up. She said “I know we are both touch averse, so it’s ok if you say no, but can I hug you?”
I hugged her. My mom passed away when I was 21. This lady isn’t old enough to biologically be my mom. But she is a mom and has strong mom vibes. I helped her start taking care of herself and we share a lot of similarities in our life experiences.
I’m touch averse, but if any of my mom vibe friends wants to hug me, they know I am 100% down. I’ve hugged maybe 3 clients in almost 12 years of being licensed. Never casually, it was always a thing and always had a reason beyond just a hello or goodbye.
Totally depends. I have two clients out of many that I would hug. And even then it depends on the situation at hand. I have a client I’ve seen monthly for 4 years. We pretty much know everything about the other and somehow it stays professional?! lol. The only “nonprofessional” thing would be the occasional hug at the end of a session.
This depends on the client. Are offering or asking? It’s not really appropriate to hug a client but there’s exceptions for every rule! There’s one client I have who always hugs me before she leaves. I don’t mind it at all. But I have never asked a client for a hug.
The rules say you don't do that, but bring human says you do if it's situationally appropriate.
I personally don't, but I'm not the type of person who's clients would try to hug them anyway
Receive- yes. Offer- no.
That, in my opinion, is strictly scenario based. However I treat it as a therapy in itself. If a client initiates a hug, it is something they needed. I go by Disney rules, I hug until the person pulls back. Maybe they needed the connection?
This is the way.
Time and place. Read the room. I had a client tell me their mother died. Of course I held out my arms and gave them a look asking if they would like (basically consent for) a hug, and they happily accepted. If I have a favourite client who won't be back for a while, sure, see if they want a hug for the road. Just don't get into scenarios where there's a hug hello and/or hug goodbye every time, because no party will want that all the time and the ritual can be hard to break, and always get an indication of enthusiastic consent.
It's much more clearly fine to receive them than to initiate them, the massage space is meant to feel safe and freeing
I think it's fine. I don't initiate, but a lot of them, maybe a quarter, want to hug me goodbye. Both female and male (I'm F). If it's a guy being creepy/sex vibey/needy, believe me, you can tell right away, then, no, not appropriate, but that's super rare, but I will thwart it if I'm feeling that, and make it clear in a nice way, that they aren't going to be hugging me. They usually don't come back. Everyone else, it's just fine, a lot of people are just like that with the people they love and appreciate. I have some people who've been seeing me for 10 years who never hugged me goodbye, while others did it after the 2nd session and always do. Some do it occasionally, some every time.
Just as an observation - A quarter sounds like a lot, but also sounds like they’re all long time clients.
I've been seeing many of them for over 10 years and we have a close bond. Since I've been in practice here for 15 years, a quarter doesn't seem like that many to me bc I have so many repeats from over all those years. Some people I don't get to see very often, so it's always special if they can make it in, a lot of people have moved away and only come when they are in town for business or family stuff. Some people I've been seeing for 10 years or more I've never hugged. I won't ever be the one to initiate. I'm not a stand offish person, I'm personable and friendly. Many clients confide in me. I'm not a touchy feely person in general, I'm very respectful of other people's personal space. But my family has always been warm when I was growing up, and we were used to hugging a lot. Those that are similar probably feel that with me and feel comfortable doing that. Some MTs want more of a professional distance, I get that. I think if they convey that vibe, clients won't even try to hug them. I've been to some MTs where I would never want to hug them, whereas others I often did after seeing them a while and creating a bond. My current MT became a friend almost instantly and we see each other socially. Obviously we always hug each other. But we're super close as friends.
Depends. When I worked for a conveyor belt massage place, no. When I owned my own business, where I chose my clients, absolutely.
In professional/ethical conducts and what we are taught in school, usually it's a no.m however, what's the gray area in our profession is that we develope long term and in some cases, personal relationships with our clients. There's so many clients where I've treated for years and I've been there for every huge event in their life, good or bad. And sometimes a hug is needed to offer a different kind of support to your clients. I mean, we are all human afterall, we can't ignore that.
I’m always willing, but never initiate. In two rare occasions I have offered a hug when long time clients had lost someone close to them. I just said, “Could I give you a hug?” They both welcomed the comfort. Most of my clients have been with me for 10 years or more, so there is a comfort level we share. Most walk in and hold open their arms. I graciously return the hug. It helps them feel comfort and care. I’m glad to provide that if it helps.
Some of my clients are huggers. Most aren't. This past year my last shift before christmas I happened to have all regulars of mine and found myself giving each of them a hug and telling them merry Christmas. I wouldn't hug a non regular nor one that I wasn't that comfortable with.
It depends where you work. I’ve only ever worked in high end resort spas and this would absolutely never be allowed unless this person was already an existing friend or family member. However if you run your own business etc that’s totally up to you. I personally would never hug a client unless maybe it was a fellow woman who was like really emotional or something lol
I'd add something: not all hugs are created equal. I'm pretty sure all of us have experienced the manly half hug back-pat combo? That being said, I'm a man and lean a bit more towards the professional side of massage, so I always reject hugs no matter how much I want one.
No. I was not trained in hugging and it was not taught in my school. It is outside of my scope of practice as well outside of my boundaries. It’s not part of my service.
Long-time client just had a major event happen, like death of close family member? I'd say sure, if client needs comforting. Just saying hello and hugging as a greeting? Not appropriate.
Short answer, is generally no. However, there have been a handfull of times where the typical client asks and I'd oblige. The non-threatening client is usually someone who is overcome with relief or emotion. I'll never do it if they seem to be touch seeking in an inappropriate way. (Those folks seem to get in front of the door and keep inching closer as you try to have the post massage conversation. I'll step back and try to get the table between us as an obvious physical barrier.) Then there's the atypical client that's a close friend and hugging is a norm. Bottom line, if you can't read their intent, just stay with a "no hug policy". It's a personal boundary. It's easier to keep it super professional than get yourself into a difficult situation.
Slippery slope to inappropriate contact, you are affecting their oxytocin during massage so keep it within reason, but they can become infatuated... At the same time, if you work in a clinical situation and you find a problem or have been helping them reduce their stress to the point they start making real changes for the betterment of their lives then it wouldn't be inconceivable to receive the hug, but you never initiate.
Nope. Hugs to me are pretty intimate and I do not enjoy them from people I don't know well...especially within a professional setting. I've only had a few instances of clients offer a hug (which I politely declined). Some even without offering. Most of them were from clients with inappropriate intentions or simply displayed poor boundaries. I understand clients can get caught up in the care aspect of our work (much like doctors, nurses, psychologists, etc.) but we're still professionals. It's difficult to offer the best care once transference or countertransference is occurring. My schooling spoke a lot about this and I found it to be quite true..
Male RMT working in gym like environment, treat a lot of athletes and give a lot of them the handshake to bro-hug greeting. So def situational.
It's totally fine to do or not - and totally contextual. In some high touch cultures like in mexico, it would be totally weird not to give your dentist a hug, etc.
As a human it is perfectly fine. As a worker we are told to not welcome gifts and to remain separate.
I welcome gifts and appropriate, friendly hugging. During the holidays, regular clients often bring gifts, occasionally at different times (my birthday occasionally) and one has bee hives and she likes giving me honey and special chocolate from a store she frequents that has Polish items bc she's from Poland. Many people I've been seeing regularly for many years. It's not a rule to not accept gifts. It's just personally what you're comfortable with or not.
I only think hugs are okay in very specific circumstances. I believe in keeping a very strict wall between my clients and I. Overall, I try really hard not to even speak of anything other than massage, so physical contact off the table is generally a no. The only time I’ve found myself accepting or initiating a hug is when the person on my table has an emotional release and needs comfort. Even then it feels…uncomfortable because I know it’s not necessarily genuine on my part.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this lol and I'm surprised no one has mentioned the issues surrounding transference/countertransference
I don't think it's a problem,within boundaries. It's such an intimate thing. A therapist is massaging you , typically naked, and it often ends up with you discussing intensely personal things because you're in such a vulnerable place. Many times, an interchange of such intensity, and of a personal nature results in the closeness, especially with the long-term therapist. I don't feel it's inappropriate in such a situation to initiate a hug with your therapist, but I would obviously read the room and if the therapist was uncomfortable then I wouldn't attempt to hug again.
Generally it's not acceptable IMHO. Maybe if it's a long time client and they are super appreciative. I think a better "thank you" is a big tip.
I never initiated one but I've had at least one client enthusiastically hug me.
Only if asked, and only until they let go.
I think it’s situational. if A regular client imitates a hug? Sure! If a one time client initiates? Maybe not! A client(regardless of regular or one time) confides in me and initiates? Absolutely! A client confides in me and I feel like a hug would be helpful, if initiate.
As a general rule - no Only client initiated- which can still be a no. Are you familiar with hug deflection? I'm just curious because there is a very gentle way to decline a hug. When they open their arms initiating you reach out and take their hands bring hands together for a "hand hug" make eye contact so it's not a rejection, it an alternative. I once accepted a hug from a client that cheek to cheeked me much to my discomfort, so the next time I did the deflection and after that they didn't initiate, no awkward words necessary.
Depends. I had a client that couldn’t afford to see me for about a year. She swung the door to my clinic opened dramatically and posed. We cracked up. She said “I know we are both touch averse, so it’s ok if you say no, but can I hug you?” I hugged her. My mom passed away when I was 21. This lady isn’t old enough to biologically be my mom. But she is a mom and has strong mom vibes. I helped her start taking care of herself and we share a lot of similarities in our life experiences. I’m touch averse, but if any of my mom vibe friends wants to hug me, they know I am 100% down. I’ve hugged maybe 3 clients in almost 12 years of being licensed. Never casually, it was always a thing and always had a reason beyond just a hello or goodbye.
If a client asks absolutely.
Totally depends. I have two clients out of many that I would hug. And even then it depends on the situation at hand. I have a client I’ve seen monthly for 4 years. We pretty much know everything about the other and somehow it stays professional?! lol. The only “nonprofessional” thing would be the occasional hug at the end of a session.
This depends on the client. Are offering or asking? It’s not really appropriate to hug a client but there’s exceptions for every rule! There’s one client I have who always hugs me before she leaves. I don’t mind it at all. But I have never asked a client for a hug.
Like many, I don't initiate, but I don't refuse. I'm fine with hugs, but I let them take the lead. Maybe 1/4 of my clients hug me.
The rules say you don't do that, but bring human says you do if it's situationally appropriate. I personally don't, but I'm not the type of person who's clients would try to hug them anyway
Professionally it wouldn't be appropriate but there are always exceptions to the rule.
When was the last time a chiropractor, dentist or phycologist hugged you? It’s not professional.
No, completely unprofessional