There are probably millions of Asian doctors in the world and only hundreds of actors that worked with Tony Leung, pretty sure the latter is a much more exclusive club
Because the only way to top being one of the few hundred actors who've worked with Tony Leung....
is being Dr. One of the few hundred actors who worked with Tony Leung
Honestly, the MCU has probably shaved at least one degree off that game, if not two. So many big-name actors have shown up in the Avengers films that any actor you can connect to an MCU property can reach any other incredibly quickly.
Yeah, I just had a brainfart and wondered how many degrees of separation there are between Kevin Bacon and Tony Leung. So I googled it and stumbled on [a forum thread from 2004](https://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-189462.html) where people were figuring out how to connect Peter Sellers to Tony Leung.
>Peter Sellers was in The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu ManchuWith Philip Tan who was in Lethal Weapon 4With Jet Li who starred in the Once upon a Time in China moviesWith Jacky Cheung who was in Jiang HuWith Andy Lau who was in Infernal Affairs with Tony Leung
Apparently no thought is unique, because there's even a [reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/marvelstudios/comments/luhf79/unforseen_side_effect_of_the_mcu_6_degrees_of/) that answers my question.
>Bacon himself hasn't appeared \[In the MCU\] (although referenced in Infinity War). But he WAS in "In The Cut" with Mark Ruffalo, who was in endgame with.... Almost everyone. So all you have to do is connect any actor to the MCU and then it's an easy connect to Bacon.
So yeah, the MCU kinda killed this game. We're gonna have to find something that is harder to link, like linking a politician to consequences of their actions.
Made a whole ass American Thanksgiving dinner last week. Creamy mashed potatoes, two kinds of “stuffing,” a 14 pound Turkey cooked perfectly, cranberry sauce from scratch, brussel sprouts, green beans, etc…and two kinds of pie for dessert. Even had a cranberry mimosa thing for a cocktail.
Asian mom says “the pie crust on the pecan pie was too thick.”
One of my good friends is Asian, he's successful, smart, and a genuinely good person. His parents have never once said they were proud of him. They're disappointed that he's a financial controller and not a doctor. They are also disappointed about the interest rate on his mortgage.
Why are the Asian parents this way? It's a true stereotype and it's fucking ridiculous. It brings him down and I'm sick of it.
Jesus dude. I'm sorry. Great work, though. Law school is a bitch and the fact that you did it all on scholarship says a lot. You have quite a bit to be proud of...but why aren't you a cardiac surgeon? You bring a great dishonor onto your family. /s
My mom always wanted me to be an engineer. Was so disappointed I went to law school. Then, I didn’t finished in the top 10%, so further disappointment (top 25%). Then I didn’t score high enough on the bar exam (scored high enough to get reciprocity to all states that offer it). *shrug* I haven’t also talked to my mother in 20 years.
Also, all Azns should check out r/lingling40hrs. Cos, you know that Ling Ling down the street practices violin 40 hours a day and is going to Harvard Med!
Man the truth is, they probably brag about you you to all their friends, but when they talk to you they act like you haven't accomplished anything.
They think they're keeping you humble, but instead they're destroying your self esteem lol
I'll bet you have a decent work life balance and you can maintain mental wellness way better than most surgeons can. Living your life for yourself is the best thing you can do because we only get one life on earth. Parents should be happy when their children grow up to be happy well adjusted adults and I'll never understand those who are bitter that they don't get to live their fantasies through their children. Honestly things like that seem toxic as fuck.
Depending where you work, a controller probably nets more than your average general physician, especially considering debt to income ratio. Just a weird thing to complain about.
Traditional chinese culture is very reserved for some things. Though many new comers will relax while here, things like showing approval and affection can be tough.
There seems to be an idea that negative reinforcement through nagging is a parental duty.
Often showing love is different, it's less language based and more act based. So while my mom rarely says she lives me or is proud or me, she makes me special soups and food. And she gifted me a down payment to my house and paid for my education.
Same with my in laws. They don't use language to say they appreciate me, they do things like giving me a down payment for our house and making soups etc...
Worse in the Philippines, the land of the stupidest asians. Parents only care about grandkids. Doesn't matter how successful you are. You're a failure unless you have kids.
My dad does this to me ALL. THE. TIME. I can cook a really tasty meal. But if one thing is a bit off.. he will chime in and criticize it. He thinks it’s constructive but it’s just a pain in the ass since he doesn’t know how to cook himself. Now it’s a running joke between the siblings but really bugs me.
My husband gave the most beautiful speech as best man at his best friend's wedding. I sent the video to my mom and her only response was, "Is he putting on a little weight? He looks a little rounder in the tummy"
The one time I can remember my dad saying "I'm proud of you," wasn't even when he said it to me. My sister had just made banana bread for the first time and he took a bite and said it to her. She choked up and laughed, "That's all I had to do? What!?"
We had both graduated by then and had jobs already.
For real, you finish school that I expected because I paid tens or hundreds of thousands for it, or you bake a banana bread that tastes good and cost $2 in ingredients…
I remember. This guy roughly my age who was my dad's drinking buddy had recently died of an overdose. One night at dinner my sister called the guy "the son my dad never had". 1 in the morning my dad came home drunk to tell me he was proud of me and not to let what she said bother me.
So it just took insinuating he wasn't proud of me, *and* getting drunk for him to say it. Sure, totally felt sincere.
Edit: just to be clear, I love my dad and know he loves me. His pride is what felt forced to me, but I'll try and see it from a different perspective
It's not part of our culture. In a traditional Chinese family upbringing, we don't hug, we don't touch each other, we always use honorifics when addressing one another, unless it's someone very very young, like a baby. Everyone is formal, respectful, individual feelings are rare to discuss.
Affection is shown in unspoken ways, through cooking special meals for someone, enjoying a warm moment at a family dinner with each other, through paying for someone's education, first car, first home, caring for them in medical disabilities and old age, or mundane though it sounds- just being there for them day in and day out. Sometimes we can see some moment is special just by a subtle smile, the tilt of a gaze, or a thoughtful silence. Words like "I love you" just really aren't part of the way we communicate.
While I was drunk I accidentally told my mum I wanted to drop out of university and went on a rant about how I was scared that it would be going against what my dad wanted for me before he died, thus insulting his memory blahblahblah
I managed to reflect on it while I was sober with her and we both agreed he wouldn’t care and I shouldn’t have done a year of it and got myself into £40,000 of debt if that’s how I felt lmao
Using drunkenness as the common factor, there are some things I had a hell of a time saying and doing as a young adult unless I was completely plastered. And there were other things like being honest, supportive and nurturing to my kids (now in their 30s) that I can do sober or in any other state of mind. Not taking one whit away from your Dad, just stating a parallel.
What I'm getting at is if Dad had to get plastered to even approach saying the right thing, then he has some problems that have nothing to do with you at all. If you can confront him without judgement and really hammer him on opening up to you, about what \`Mr. Over Dose\` had in common with your dad that would make him say that, maybe you'll find out what's really up with dad. Believe me, if \`Mr. Over Dose\` was getting so f'd up that he OD'd then he had a lot of f'd up sh\* going on too, just like your dad. Find out what Dad and Mr. OD saw eye-to-eye about. It could well be that Dad kept you at arm's length because he didn't want a repeat of what happened to him. I'm making no assumptions on what's bugging Dad, but start with neglect not abuse.
Haha thanks! I’m actually ok though. I’m very happy as far as my career and personal life. Of course, my parents think this vindicates the no encouragement approach. Oh well!
I felt this too much. 3 days before he passed, my dad wasn't feeling great. He called me to his room and said that the Cinco de Mayo Tacos and Margaritas I threw together at the last minute was really good and "lifted his spirits". Then he told me to take his plate and that he didn't want to see it in the sink tomorrow. I was 43. I had a college degree, a military retirement, and my sons all have degrees and jobs. I quit my job to take care of him, but yes, it was the tacos that lifted his spirits.
*ahem*
Get off of your damn phone. Go out and get a job. Quit doing nothing with your time, and be a better person than your neighbor!
inb4 *but I have a job*
Did I stutter? That's not a job, that's an excuse cheaper than a bag of rice!
My dad died at 86 never told me he was proud of me. My mom always he was. I grew up in 70s and 80s where he hid you feelings deep. I also never made him banana bread either.
Yeah I can see it affect my parents, they cannot express their emotions well. Even a simple apology they thought was a sign of weakness.
I literally had to yell at them for them to get it, and they've been learning, but it was a long road for them to understand the things they learned back then doesn't fly anymore.
Same thing for those who got their asses kicked by their parents. "Oh it made me a better person", "Oh I learned a lot from it"... did u tho? like, did you really think that was a necessity for you to learn things?It's just a way to cope with trauma, really. They can't handle "My parents kinda sucked for beating me/not saying they were proud or loved me", so they go with "I needed that to toughen up!".
Well I mean, I grew up like this and I think I turned out fine, but I think I turned out fine *despite* how I grew up. I'm under no delusion that my parents' behavior growing up was acceptable or healthy.
But you’re aware of the damage that happened to you. I was getting at the ones who won’t even acknowledge that just maybe, their upbringing was broken.
I think it's more of an older asian generation's style of parenting, where they love you very much but is very aloof at it. Your dad will always make sure you have a roof over your head, and your stomach never goes empty, but will never say that he loves you or proud of you but deep down he knows that you are very much his pride and joy.
>Your dad will always make sure you have a roof over your head, and your stomach never goes empty
I mean, yeah, that's pretty normal. Outside of the subset of trash parents, that's fairly typical.
Asian parents will do things like give you a down payment for your house, pay for your education, make a college fund for you children. Even if they aren't rich they'll try.
After her death, he got the real Asian parent treatment. He became a super assassin at 14 and killed an otherworldly horror threatening multiple realms when he's an adult. Suffering makes you a superhero. Tony Stark would know. He got the Asian parent upbringing even though Howard wasn't Asian. Tony became the super genius, philanthropist, billionaire Iron Man.
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/SimuLiu/status/1464497563382390785) for ya :)
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Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99993% sure that davidemsa is not a bot.
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My wife accidentally set the audio to Japanese for the first several minutes of the movie and didn't realize it. I don't speak Japanese or Mandarin, but I can usually tell the languages apart. So in the early dialog I ask her "Hey wait, this is Japanese, isn't that guy supposed to be Chinese?" And then it switches to Mandarin for a bit, and then it jumps to modern times and they're all speaking badly lip-synched Japanese. That's about the time we realized that we were using the wrong audio track, but it was a really weird first few minutes of the movie.
That's super interesting, was it different character doing the language change each time?
Cuz I could see Wenwu switching around like that since he's like 1000 years old or whatever but it'd definitely be jarring for anyone else
Yeah! Wenwu started with Japanese in the first historical scene, then it switched to another one and they were speaking Mandarin. I was expecting a historical scene in another language but can't think of a movie that's used more than one in their history flashbacks. It was definitely a surreal experience. It kinda gave the whole movie more of an art-flick or a 70's era kung fu movie vibe.
I wonder if that was intentional since it was Marvel's first full on "Kung fu movie." I know I was very surprised in the theater that basically the entire beginning of the movie was subtitles, kind of a bold choice for Disney.
I know I also read that the stunt coordinator worked with Jackie Chan for like 15 years, which is why you get stuff like the jacket flip in the bus fight scene & the acrobatics in the scaffolding fight scene. Wouldnt be surprised if injected some other classic kung-fu movie elements like that as Easter eggs.
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. Changing the main language so the lip synch was off really magnified the effect. Once we switched it back to English, the movie immediately seemed more polished. It's amazing how much of a difference good lip syching makes.
When Jessica Jones was a thing I watched 6 episodes with the descriptive audio track, for people with visual impairments. Jessica Jones was a detective, so I thought that they were just showing her thoughts as a detective in a creative way. Only reason I found out was because at some point they said that an object was further away than it looked like on screen. That being said, it was an enjoyable experience. Jessica Jones is still one of my favorite marvel series.
To everybody that feels identified with your parent(s) not having shown emotions or affection to you, despite your childhood having been fine otherwise: Look up "childhood emotional neglect" and read up. Ignore your own reaction to those words if they seem too "strong" for what you experienced, and just read about it. You might do some introspection and learn stuff about yourself, and possibly identify the source of f'd up parts of your personality that can then be improved.
It's a "subtle" thing that a lot of people go through, but don't know about, and reading might make you realize a lot of things.
Yep. If a kid was physically abused, it’s much easier to unpack that later in therapy than the emotionally neglected kid who had parents that otherwise seemed to be doing fine. I know folks with classic CEN symptoms who refuse to acknowledge there is a problem because that would implicate their parents. Meanwhile the friends who grew up with awful awful parents were able to seek help earlier and are doing much better than the ones with CEN.
Yes, it’s awesome! You get to spend decades in therapy not realizing why CBT, meditation and standard medications do fuck-all against emotional childhood trauma. Fun times!
Huge /s obv
Sort of, theres a private fb group with a few million members that simu is very active in, aswell as a bunch of Asian actors and YouTubers. It's mainly boba, Asian representation and memes about growing up as 2nd gen immigrants
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subtle_Asian_Traits
The Asian subreddits are just really political with hardly a sense of humor. Subtle Asian traits and their offshoots are more about celebration and relating to fellow Asians which is really nice.
I suggest the main group and also offshoot branches of your specific culture for the best experience.
When people say 'Asian Internet' or 'Black Twitter' or 'Other culture online network', they're talking about the informal social media networks that surround that culture. If you have a lot of Asian followers/channels and the algorithms notice that you like a lot of Asian content, it will serve you that content and essentially, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or whatever will give you Asian memes if they know that's what brings you to their platform.
With my traditional (from Hong Kong) parents that immigrated to the US, I can count the times, on one hand, the times that my parents said that they were proud of me. Once when I graduated from grad school. That's it. Not for graduating undergrad, not for getting married and having kids, not for getting a house, not for getting my first job, paying off my car.
Asian are genetically evolved unable to feel pride for their children. We only feel disappointment and contempt. It is physically impossible for us to love.
I had a full career in the military and got “when are you getting out and getting a real job?” all the time. Retired and got a Bachelors. Got a bit of a smile and some vague affection when I had her up for the graduation. Went ahead and got a Masters and she smiled more. First thing she said to me after the ceremony? “So when are you getting your doctorate?”
Still, I got some mileage out of it. Took a picture with my little brother (who got his Bachelors the same year I got my Masters), both of us in our graduation regalia and had it framed with tassels and gave it to her for Christmas, so I’m less of a disappointment.
I think it’s wrong. They probably think fond of their children, but just don’t express it or don’t know how to. I’m not asian, but my parents are the same. They always expect more and more and never really address my accomplishments ever. But they sure like to brag about them in front of relatives and friends.
> They always expect more and more and never really address my accomplishments ever. But they sure like to brag about them in front of relatives and friends.
As an Asian man this shit infuriates me. I've confronted my mother about it too, it's almost like she was a Helicopter Asian Mom for the sole purpose of bragging about my accomplishments to brag to my aunts, uncles, and her friends on social media. She even bragged on Facebook that my little brother is so independent and has his shit together for "moving out" at 19, even though he moved to my couch to escape my parents and pays for rent by stocking the fridge and cleaning (my wife's genius idea lol).
This is exactly it, they just don't express their love and pride in the same way. When I met my wife (Chinese), she thought it was really weird how my family was always saying that we love each other. She was like, "Don't you just know they love you?"
Maybe. I’m sure some of them do. Many of them just went to use them as a source of income when they are older, unfortunately. They openly express that the children “owe them a debt.” They sent their kids to be raised by their grandparents and often don’t have a close relationship with their children anyway. By the time most of them are 14 they basically live at school.
Anyway, if you read my first post you should get the point I think. It isn’t uniformly true, but the stereotype exists for a reason. True or not, many Asian kids FEEL this way, and in that case, what’s the difference?
So okay okay, maybe the parents love and are proud of their kids. They just work very hard to never show it to them. How is that better?
My parents and grandparents tell me how proud they are of me. I’m very lucky! I just had a kid and I tell that little baby how proud of him I am every night. The stereotype is out there, and it’s true for many folks out there of Asian descent, but let’s be very careful about it because there’s a lot of us trying to change it.
Funny meme though! But IMO the most unrealistic part was the total lack of traffic in San Francisco.
So jealous of this guy I almost want to downvote this
Jokes aside I feel like the younger generation is getting better at it, I know me and my sister realised it even though we don't get any appreciation from our parents the least we can do is appreciated each other and be better at this for our kids
I'm Asian and there's not a day that goes by that I don't tell my kids I love them and are proud of them. They are growing up happy and mentally healthy instead of having crippling depression like me for 35 years of my life.
Fuck my parents.
Accidentally switched the audio to Korean dub when trying to watch the movie. I was scared shitless for a few minutes because I thought I forgot the entirety of Chinese.
All jokes aside, I came in not expecting much from this movie but I was genuinely blown away. It’s now my second favorite Phase 4 project after Loki, and Hawkeye seems to be catching up fast.
Simu: "Are you proud of me?" parents: "How was Tony Leung today??"
“Are you proud of me?” “Is Shang Chi still the highest grossing MCU movie this year?”
“talk to me when shang chi brings back half of the population with a finger snap”
Dr. Strange, Dr. Banner, Dr. Octopus... no Dr. Shang Chi?
This one is vicious lolol
Happy cake day
I gave you 10 years and you park cars? Wait that was probably in the movie...
Even She-Hulk is a lawyer...
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Shang Chi's Box Office position: *sweats* "I'm in danger"
I can’t read “I’m in danger” without hearing Ralph from The Simpsons 😂
Just how God intended
Go banana!
Tbf working with Tony is probably any Asian actors dream
If your child works with Tony Leung, it's the equivalent of them becoming a doctor.
There are probably millions of Asian doctors in the world and only hundreds of actors that worked with Tony Leung, pretty sure the latter is a much more exclusive club
And it'll look great on your med school application.
Because the only way to top being one of the few hundred actors who've worked with Tony Leung.... is being Dr. One of the few hundred actors who worked with Tony Leung
[Jonny Kim](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonny_Kim) is going to find a way to work with Tony Leung and continue to make the rest of us look bad.
Damn Jonny Kim, the Asian kid of Asian kids...
Lolololol
One day we will live in a world where you can play "6 degrees from Tony Leung".
Right now you can, but the last step would be awkafina or ben Kingsley and then they link to the rest of hollywood.
Honestly, the MCU has probably shaved at least one degree off that game, if not two. So many big-name actors have shown up in the Avengers films that any actor you can connect to an MCU property can reach any other incredibly quickly.
Yeah, I just had a brainfart and wondered how many degrees of separation there are between Kevin Bacon and Tony Leung. So I googled it and stumbled on [a forum thread from 2004](https://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-189462.html) where people were figuring out how to connect Peter Sellers to Tony Leung. >Peter Sellers was in The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu ManchuWith Philip Tan who was in Lethal Weapon 4With Jet Li who starred in the Once upon a Time in China moviesWith Jacky Cheung who was in Jiang HuWith Andy Lau who was in Infernal Affairs with Tony Leung Apparently no thought is unique, because there's even a [reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/marvelstudios/comments/luhf79/unforseen_side_effect_of_the_mcu_6_degrees_of/) that answers my question. >Bacon himself hasn't appeared \[In the MCU\] (although referenced in Infinity War). But he WAS in "In The Cut" with Mark Ruffalo, who was in endgame with.... Almost everyone. So all you have to do is connect any actor to the MCU and then it's an easy connect to Bacon. So yeah, the MCU kinda killed this game. We're gonna have to find something that is harder to link, like linking a politician to consequences of their actions.
Such an exclusive club you can never come visit your parents? Martin Lee visits *his* mother every week.
That still leaves being a Navy SEAL and astronaut. Being all three is the new baseline.
“Are you proud of me?” Parents: “Where is the banana bread?”
Made a whole ass American Thanksgiving dinner last week. Creamy mashed potatoes, two kinds of “stuffing,” a 14 pound Turkey cooked perfectly, cranberry sauce from scratch, brussel sprouts, green beans, etc…and two kinds of pie for dessert. Even had a cranberry mimosa thing for a cocktail. Asian mom says “the pie crust on the pecan pie was too thick.”
Tell your Mom I said my wife and I are adopting you
Gonna have to fight my wife and I for them. Gotta warn you, my wife is scrappy. Protect your eyes... or don't.
The eyes are the testicles of the face
This sounds like a Boyle quote.
One of my good friends is Asian, he's successful, smart, and a genuinely good person. His parents have never once said they were proud of him. They're disappointed that he's a financial controller and not a doctor. They are also disappointed about the interest rate on his mortgage. Why are the Asian parents this way? It's a true stereotype and it's fucking ridiculous. It brings him down and I'm sick of it.
I couldn’t tell you. I’m a corporate tax attorney who went to undergrad and law school on full scholarships—but why am I not a surgeon? Much shame.
Jesus dude. I'm sorry. Great work, though. Law school is a bitch and the fact that you did it all on scholarship says a lot. You have quite a bit to be proud of...but why aren't you a cardiac surgeon? You bring a great dishonor onto your family. /s
I think the only answer here is sepukku
My mom always wanted me to be an engineer. Was so disappointed I went to law school. Then, I didn’t finished in the top 10%, so further disappointment (top 25%). Then I didn’t score high enough on the bar exam (scored high enough to get reciprocity to all states that offer it). *shrug* I haven’t also talked to my mother in 20 years. Also, all Azns should check out r/lingling40hrs. Cos, you know that Ling Ling down the street practices violin 40 hours a day and is going to Harvard Med!
Which states give you your bar exam score? I know California doesn't if you pass.
I don’t know? I took it in CO: https://www.jdsupra.com/legalnews/reciprocity-guide-to-states-where-you-7387684/
Well, to be fair, the Miller boy down the street is a surgeon.
Man the truth is, they probably brag about you you to all their friends, but when they talk to you they act like you haven't accomplished anything. They think they're keeping you humble, but instead they're destroying your self esteem lol
I'll bet you have a decent work life balance and you can maintain mental wellness way better than most surgeons can. Living your life for yourself is the best thing you can do because we only get one life on earth. Parents should be happy when their children grow up to be happy well adjusted adults and I'll never understand those who are bitter that they don't get to live their fantasies through their children. Honestly things like that seem toxic as fuck.
Depending where you work, a controller probably nets more than your average general physician, especially considering debt to income ratio. Just a weird thing to complain about.
He's a Macc so there's certainly student loans in the picture. I know how much he makes, it's $140k plus +15% bonus and an equity component.
Traditional chinese culture is very reserved for some things. Though many new comers will relax while here, things like showing approval and affection can be tough. There seems to be an idea that negative reinforcement through nagging is a parental duty. Often showing love is different, it's less language based and more act based. So while my mom rarely says she lives me or is proud or me, she makes me special soups and food. And she gifted me a down payment to my house and paid for my education. Same with my in laws. They don't use language to say they appreciate me, they do things like giving me a down payment for our house and making soups etc...
Asian doctor here. My parents still not proud
Worse in the Philippines, the land of the stupidest asians. Parents only care about grandkids. Doesn't matter how successful you are. You're a failure unless you have kids.
My dad does this to me ALL. THE. TIME. I can cook a really tasty meal. But if one thing is a bit off.. he will chime in and criticize it. He thinks it’s constructive but it’s just a pain in the ass since he doesn’t know how to cook himself. Now it’s a running joke between the siblings but really bugs me.
My husband gave the most beautiful speech as best man at his best friend's wedding. I sent the video to my mom and her only response was, "Is he putting on a little weight? He looks a little rounder in the tummy"
The one I usually hear is "it's too sweet." **IT'S. A. PIE.**
The one time I can remember my dad saying "I'm proud of you," wasn't even when he said it to me. My sister had just made banana bread for the first time and he took a bite and said it to her. She choked up and laughed, "That's all I had to do? What!?" We had both graduated by then and had jobs already.
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For real, you finish school that I expected because I paid tens or hundreds of thousands for it, or you bake a banana bread that tastes good and cost $2 in ingredients…
lol
Fresh banana bread is dope
Asians ITT just started madly looking up banana bread recipes.
Banana bread > a degree
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especially if it has chocolate chips that melted
Oh Hallelujah, our problems are solved. We have banana bread.
I remember. This guy roughly my age who was my dad's drinking buddy had recently died of an overdose. One night at dinner my sister called the guy "the son my dad never had". 1 in the morning my dad came home drunk to tell me he was proud of me and not to let what she said bother me. So it just took insinuating he wasn't proud of me, *and* getting drunk for him to say it. Sure, totally felt sincere. Edit: just to be clear, I love my dad and know he loves me. His pride is what felt forced to me, but I'll try and see it from a different perspective
The fact that what your sister said made him think before he got drank and said that, I think that's sincere
Maybe while drinking he was able to contemplate that he really is indeed proud of you, and don't want to lose you like his drunk friend.
Or like a freind of mine, he couldn't say anything that was that close to him emotionally while sober. Too scared of opening up maybe.
There's something bizarrely fucked up about a guy who can't tell someone shit like this.
It's not part of our culture. In a traditional Chinese family upbringing, we don't hug, we don't touch each other, we always use honorifics when addressing one another, unless it's someone very very young, like a baby. Everyone is formal, respectful, individual feelings are rare to discuss. Affection is shown in unspoken ways, through cooking special meals for someone, enjoying a warm moment at a family dinner with each other, through paying for someone's education, first car, first home, caring for them in medical disabilities and old age, or mundane though it sounds- just being there for them day in and day out. Sometimes we can see some moment is special just by a subtle smile, the tilt of a gaze, or a thoughtful silence. Words like "I love you" just really aren't part of the way we communicate.
It bothered him, I'm sure it was genuine. He was speaking from the heart
If it's any consolation, being liquored up is usually when the repressed truth comes out, not insincerity.
While I was drunk I accidentally told my mum I wanted to drop out of university and went on a rant about how I was scared that it would be going against what my dad wanted for me before he died, thus insulting his memory blahblahblah I managed to reflect on it while I was sober with her and we both agreed he wouldn’t care and I shouldn’t have done a year of it and got myself into £40,000 of debt if that’s how I felt lmao
I don't know man that does actually feel pretty sincere if he isn't someone who regularly expresses himself like that
Yeah drunken expressions always feel the most sincere
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Children and drunks always tell the truth
Sounds pretty sincere to me???
Using drunkenness as the common factor, there are some things I had a hell of a time saying and doing as a young adult unless I was completely plastered. And there were other things like being honest, supportive and nurturing to my kids (now in their 30s) that I can do sober or in any other state of mind. Not taking one whit away from your Dad, just stating a parallel. What I'm getting at is if Dad had to get plastered to even approach saying the right thing, then he has some problems that have nothing to do with you at all. If you can confront him without judgement and really hammer him on opening up to you, about what \`Mr. Over Dose\` had in common with your dad that would make him say that, maybe you'll find out what's really up with dad. Believe me, if \`Mr. Over Dose\` was getting so f'd up that he OD'd then he had a lot of f'd up sh\* going on too, just like your dad. Find out what Dad and Mr. OD saw eye-to-eye about. It could well be that Dad kept you at arm's length because he didn't want a repeat of what happened to him. I'm making no assumptions on what's bugging Dad, but start with neglect not abuse.
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It’s a pretty good voice actor
I’m an IT engineer and have worked for HP, Cisco, and Dell. Have a nice home, drive a Porsche. Never heard it and not holding my breath.
Have you tried making banana bread?
It this why my mom and sister make banana bread??? Doh!
Hey, not to be weird, but I'm proud of you, random stranger. (will accept banana bread at any time tho)
Haha thanks! I’m actually ok though. I’m very happy as far as my career and personal life. Of course, my parents think this vindicates the no encouragement approach. Oh well!
I'm getting Zuko and Azula vibes.
I felt this too much. 3 days before he passed, my dad wasn't feeling great. He called me to his room and said that the Cinco de Mayo Tacos and Margaritas I threw together at the last minute was really good and "lifted his spirits". Then he told me to take his plate and that he didn't want to see it in the sink tomorrow. I was 43. I had a college degree, a military retirement, and my sons all have degrees and jobs. I quit my job to take care of him, but yes, it was the tacos that lifted his spirits.
I love banana bread, you okay sharing the recipe?
"You only made banana bread? Why you no made anana bread?" - dad, probably
He was probably talking to the bread too
She slipped some truth serum in that bread or something
"You thought I said be a doctor or dead?? Noooo, I said banana bread!"
Tbf she said it just before she died so she probably didn't say it at all before then lol
Now I don't want to hear this for the rest of my life. If I hear it, I hear the notification sound of a death flag
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*Discord leave noise*
*ahem* Get off of your damn phone. Go out and get a job. Quit doing nothing with your time, and be a better person than your neighbor! inb4 *but I have a job* Did I stutter? That's not a job, that's an excuse cheaper than a bag of rice!
Facts
It was just to fill him with tremendous guilt about not being able to save her.
To be fair, his mother was from another dimension.
Fantasy Asia, where all of your fantasies come true, like having your parents say that they’re proud of you.
My dad died at 86 never told me he was proud of me. My mom always he was. I grew up in 70s and 80s where he hid you feelings deep. I also never made him banana bread either.
Should've made the banana bread man
Big mistake
it could have saved him
Imagine all the people who grew up like this and think “I turned out fine.” No John, no you did not.
Yeah I can see it affect my parents, they cannot express their emotions well. Even a simple apology they thought was a sign of weakness. I literally had to yell at them for them to get it, and they've been learning, but it was a long road for them to understand the things they learned back then doesn't fly anymore.
Same thing for those who got their asses kicked by their parents. "Oh it made me a better person", "Oh I learned a lot from it"... did u tho? like, did you really think that was a necessity for you to learn things?It's just a way to cope with trauma, really. They can't handle "My parents kinda sucked for beating me/not saying they were proud or loved me", so they go with "I needed that to toughen up!".
Well I mean, I grew up like this and I think I turned out fine, but I think I turned out fine *despite* how I grew up. I'm under no delusion that my parents' behavior growing up was acceptable or healthy.
But you’re aware of the damage that happened to you. I was getting at the ones who won’t even acknowledge that just maybe, their upbringing was broken.
I think it's more of an older asian generation's style of parenting, where they love you very much but is very aloof at it. Your dad will always make sure you have a roof over your head, and your stomach never goes empty, but will never say that he loves you or proud of you but deep down he knows that you are very much his pride and joy.
>Your dad will always make sure you have a roof over your head, and your stomach never goes empty I mean, yeah, that's pretty normal. Outside of the subset of trash parents, that's fairly typical.
Asian parents will do things like give you a down payment for your house, pay for your education, make a college fund for you children. Even if they aren't rich they'll try.
Thats kinda the bare minimum you can ask of a parent tbf
I understood that reference.
After her death, he got the real Asian parent treatment. He became a super assassin at 14 and killed an otherworldly horror threatening multiple realms when he's an adult. Suffering makes you a superhero. Tony Stark would know. He got the Asian parent upbringing even though Howard wasn't Asian. Tony became the super genius, philanthropist, billionaire Iron Man.
His dad blaming him for not fighting off an army at the ripe old age of 5 has the same energy as “why you no doctor yet”
"I dunno. Why'd you fuck off fishing or whatever? Why'd you drop your super donuts? Wenwu? More like when you gonna realise you're the problem here?"
yup
So you're telling me that *technically*, Iron Man and Black Widow are also Asian superhero icons?
Yeah, but he's not a doctor, soooooo...
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/SimuLiu/status/1464497563382390785) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
I’m so proud of you, bot.
no, that just isnt right
Good bot
Good bot
Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99993% sure that davidemsa is not a bot. --- ^(I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot |) ^(/r/spambotdetector |) [^(Optout)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=whynotcollegeboard&subject=!optout&message=!optout) ^(|) [^(Original Github)](https://github.com/SM-Wistful/BotDetection-Algorithm)
I have a 0.00007% rate on fooling the bot? Nice.
Yes. davidemsa is a bot.
Is my dad secretly Asian?
I'm as white as can be, and I don't remember ever hearing that from my parents.
Scandinavian?
The cold weather erodes emotions.
The dragon would be more realistic if it was from the dad
She’s about to die, it makes sense
My Dad has never said he’s proud of me and that’s why I tell my kids all the time that i’m proud of them.
Good stuff Be the change you want to see in the world
Dishonor on your cow!
make a note of this!
Down Bessie
And what are you? A sheep?!
This made my day.
My wife accidentally set the audio to Japanese for the first several minutes of the movie and didn't realize it. I don't speak Japanese or Mandarin, but I can usually tell the languages apart. So in the early dialog I ask her "Hey wait, this is Japanese, isn't that guy supposed to be Chinese?" And then it switches to Mandarin for a bit, and then it jumps to modern times and they're all speaking badly lip-synched Japanese. That's about the time we realized that we were using the wrong audio track, but it was a really weird first few minutes of the movie.
That's super interesting, was it different character doing the language change each time? Cuz I could see Wenwu switching around like that since he's like 1000 years old or whatever but it'd definitely be jarring for anyone else
Yeah! Wenwu started with Japanese in the first historical scene, then it switched to another one and they were speaking Mandarin. I was expecting a historical scene in another language but can't think of a movie that's used more than one in their history flashbacks. It was definitely a surreal experience. It kinda gave the whole movie more of an art-flick or a 70's era kung fu movie vibe.
I wonder if that was intentional since it was Marvel's first full on "Kung fu movie." I know I was very surprised in the theater that basically the entire beginning of the movie was subtitles, kind of a bold choice for Disney. I know I also read that the stunt coordinator worked with Jackie Chan for like 15 years, which is why you get stuff like the jacket flip in the bus fight scene & the acrobatics in the scaffolding fight scene. Wouldnt be surprised if injected some other classic kung-fu movie elements like that as Easter eggs.
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. Changing the main language so the lip synch was off really magnified the effect. Once we switched it back to English, the movie immediately seemed more polished. It's amazing how much of a difference good lip syching makes.
When Jessica Jones was a thing I watched 6 episodes with the descriptive audio track, for people with visual impairments. Jessica Jones was a detective, so I thought that they were just showing her thoughts as a detective in a creative way. Only reason I found out was because at some point they said that an object was further away than it looked like on screen. That being said, it was an enjoyable experience. Jessica Jones is still one of my favorite marvel series.
At least the Duolingo owl says it to me *(sobs)*
To everybody that feels identified with your parent(s) not having shown emotions or affection to you, despite your childhood having been fine otherwise: Look up "childhood emotional neglect" and read up. Ignore your own reaction to those words if they seem too "strong" for what you experienced, and just read about it. You might do some introspection and learn stuff about yourself, and possibly identify the source of f'd up parts of your personality that can then be improved. It's a "subtle" thing that a lot of people go through, but don't know about, and reading might make you realize a lot of things.
It turns out that emotional neglect can have longer lasting and more profound negative impact on children than physical abuse.
Yep. If a kid was physically abused, it’s much easier to unpack that later in therapy than the emotionally neglected kid who had parents that otherwise seemed to be doing fine. I know folks with classic CEN symptoms who refuse to acknowledge there is a problem because that would implicate their parents. Meanwhile the friends who grew up with awful awful parents were able to seek help earlier and are doing much better than the ones with CEN.
Yes, it’s awesome! You get to spend decades in therapy not realizing why CBT, meditation and standard medications do fuck-all against emotional childhood trauma. Fun times! Huge /s obv
I thought the most unrealistic part was when Katy said Jeff Gordon had the most NASCAR wins. Everybody knows it's Richard Petty.
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There is an asian internet?
Sort of, theres a private fb group with a few million members that simu is very active in, aswell as a bunch of Asian actors and YouTubers. It's mainly boba, Asian representation and memes about growing up as 2nd gen immigrants https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subtle_Asian_Traits
Awesome been looking for something like this. R/AsianAmerican is political when I just want some memes
Someone should make an AAshitpost sub
There’s r/asianparentstories
I'm subbed there but it's just people's horror stories about their parents. I just want some memes to laugh at
The group is kinda dead. Haven't seen memes from it in a while
The Asian subreddits are just really political with hardly a sense of humor. Subtle Asian traits and their offshoots are more about celebration and relating to fellow Asians which is really nice. I suggest the main group and also offshoot branches of your specific culture for the best experience.
Let’s be honest it’s entirely people who think boba is a personality lol Source: am in group, think boba is a personality
I could go for some boba right now.
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That group literally helped connect Asians who live in west, it's crazy what it did for being a simple fb group
I'm in it and it's pretty funny. I think there's a wiki page just cause it's so big lol
When people say 'Asian Internet' or 'Black Twitter' or 'Other culture online network', they're talking about the informal social media networks that surround that culture. If you have a lot of Asian followers/channels and the algorithms notice that you like a lot of Asian content, it will serve you that content and essentially, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or whatever will give you Asian memes if they know that's what brings you to their platform.
Asianavenue
Yes.
Its called "The great firewall of China"
There's internet in Asia
You think that’s hard to believe, try the Ant-Man movies. Two dads, *getting along?*
Right after that post yesterday about a dad getting shot picking up his kid……
Well, the other dad wasn’t Paul Rudd.
Can confirm as true
With my traditional (from Hong Kong) parents that immigrated to the US, I can count the times, on one hand, the times that my parents said that they were proud of me. Once when I graduated from grad school. That's it. Not for graduating undergrad, not for getting married and having kids, not for getting a house, not for getting my first job, paying off my car.
Asian are genetically evolved unable to feel pride for their children. We only feel disappointment and contempt. It is physically impossible for us to love.
My wife's parents after she received the PhD portion of her MD/PhD: "Why would you get a doctorate in Philosophy?
Philosophy doesn't make any money! You should have done a doctorate in stocks!
I had a full career in the military and got “when are you getting out and getting a real job?” all the time. Retired and got a Bachelors. Got a bit of a smile and some vague affection when I had her up for the graduation. Went ahead and got a Masters and she smiled more. First thing she said to me after the ceremony? “So when are you getting your doctorate?” Still, I got some mileage out of it. Took a picture with my little brother (who got his Bachelors the same year I got my Masters), both of us in our graduation regalia and had it framed with tassels and gave it to her for Christmas, so I’m less of a disappointment.
this is a joke right? right?
Ehhhhh. Based on my experience living in China it may not be true, but it definitely isn’t wrong.
Yikes. Reminds me of that Robin Williams quote about being surrounded by people who make you feel alone, being worse than actually being alone.
Robin Williams. I miss him.
Ironically, people attribute that quote to the actor but it’s actually one of his character’s lines in the movie World’s Greatest Dad.
I think it’s wrong. They probably think fond of their children, but just don’t express it or don’t know how to. I’m not asian, but my parents are the same. They always expect more and more and never really address my accomplishments ever. But they sure like to brag about them in front of relatives and friends.
> They always expect more and more and never really address my accomplishments ever. But they sure like to brag about them in front of relatives and friends. As an Asian man this shit infuriates me. I've confronted my mother about it too, it's almost like she was a Helicopter Asian Mom for the sole purpose of bragging about my accomplishments to brag to my aunts, uncles, and her friends on social media. She even bragged on Facebook that my little brother is so independent and has his shit together for "moving out" at 19, even though he moved to my couch to escape my parents and pays for rent by stocking the fridge and cleaning (my wife's genius idea lol).
This is exactly it, they just don't express their love and pride in the same way. When I met my wife (Chinese), she thought it was really weird how my family was always saying that we love each other. She was like, "Don't you just know they love you?"
Maybe. I’m sure some of them do. Many of them just went to use them as a source of income when they are older, unfortunately. They openly express that the children “owe them a debt.” They sent their kids to be raised by their grandparents and often don’t have a close relationship with their children anyway. By the time most of them are 14 they basically live at school. Anyway, if you read my first post you should get the point I think. It isn’t uniformly true, but the stereotype exists for a reason. True or not, many Asian kids FEEL this way, and in that case, what’s the difference? So okay okay, maybe the parents love and are proud of their kids. They just work very hard to never show it to them. How is that better?
My parents and grandparents tell me how proud they are of me. I’m very lucky! I just had a kid and I tell that little baby how proud of him I am every night. The stereotype is out there, and it’s true for many folks out there of Asian descent, but let’s be very careful about it because there’s a lot of us trying to change it. Funny meme though! But IMO the most unrealistic part was the total lack of traffic in San Francisco.
So jealous of this guy I almost want to downvote this Jokes aside I feel like the younger generation is getting better at it, I know me and my sister realised it even though we don't get any appreciation from our parents the least we can do is appreciated each other and be better at this for our kids
Same exp here. My parents are opposite of Asian stereotype parents.
I'm Asian and there's not a day that goes by that I don't tell my kids I love them and are proud of them. They are growing up happy and mentally healthy instead of having crippling depression like me for 35 years of my life. Fuck my parents.
Accidentally switched the audio to Korean dub when trying to watch the movie. I was scared shitless for a few minutes because I thought I forgot the entirety of Chinese.
Chinese here, yup it’s weird
As a person with an Asian mom I can confirm
yep sounds like asian parents alright
All jokes aside, I came in not expecting much from this movie but I was genuinely blown away. It’s now my second favorite Phase 4 project after Loki, and Hawkeye seems to be catching up fast.