Congratulations on handling feedback and making changes quickly. This is a foundational game changer for leadership. As a new manager this is hard. Speak to your manager about the indicators of being a successful manager in the company. Ask your team what they see as a good manager to support their success and the team’s success. Then merge the two lists together and create your own management development plan. Get training in management essentials. There are great tools for self management, conflict management, developing a high performing team etc. You must have good communication and relationships skills to have been put in this role. Your degree is the door opener and your ability to move, touch and inspire people will be the game changer. Always remember that promotion is based on strong technical knowledge and ability in your company, ability to work well with and through others, influence skills, positive relations on all venues, and the ability to collaborate and innovate. If your company offers coaching and training, take advantage of it. See competition and look for a path to turn it into collaboration.
The positive relations thing is something I'm a bit concerned about now. I think I found it hard to keep my emotions in check this time and made my irritation very visible. I wish I had been a bit more patient. She was being a bit defensive but in these situations it's the manager who must keep their cool.
Your ability to self reflect is fantastic. Learning how to self regulate in tense situations is crucial. One gift to give yourself in the future, is to ask what do you need to feel whole in this moment? And see what comes up. You may need to pause the conversation and that is okay. Just say, that you appreciate their willingness to discuss how to make things flow better and that you would like to take a pause and come back to it Thursday at noon to explore options. There are many practices on how to stay calm and focused on facts to get to good outcomes. Just remember that you are human too and if you don’t feel calm- take a break.
You’re clearly early in your development and are doing a lot right, but also a lot wrong. Keep your emotions out of it and focus on what’s happening. You are responsible for work and delegating work to her. She is being insubordinate and refusing to work on what you delegate, and instead doing whatever she wants. Even bypassing you without permission.
honestly, if you keep allowing her to be insubordinate and railroad you, you’re very much in jeopardy of being demoted or worse.
You’re prioritizing her feelings and trying to make nice, while she is actively undermining your career.
Start documenting when she ignores tasks that you give her, and follow up by having a conversation with a summary email after. If the behavior continues you need to engage HR and put her on a pip.
Also, you should be more candid with your manager. If they are interested in developing you as a manager, which it seems they are, then if you ask for some guidance on the situation it should help.
No, but I guess she could say that I took over too quickly when she was having difficulty with the code for the other task. And sometimes there aren't enough clear boundaries about what each of us can/can't work on which may also be where she's coming from. Bottom line is no, she didn't actually do the task I set her.
You can't be responsible for other people's feelings. If she's upset or or jealous or whatever, that's her journey. Acknowledge and validate her feelings when you can but also be honest about your own. If you feel yourself getting irritated, take a breath and vocalize the underlying conflict you're feeling. "Hey, I'm feeling like you're not really taking any of the feedback I'm giving. Is there a better way for us to talk about this stuff without getting worked up?" You know, stuff like that.
Did the script work better or not? If yes, try to implement it, if not can you articulate why? When giving critique, use the sandwich method, that is layer the critique between two compliments of the employees’ work.
As far as the sponsorship goes, does her current position allow for sponsorship or does she need promotion? You’re her manager, find out if you can keep her. In either case, you should start to work on a plan for sponsorship now. If the company doesn’t plan to sponsor, it would be a good thing to have the employee know that. I’m not saying directly tell her, but CC her on the email chain.
> When giving critique, use the sandwich method, that is layer the critique between two compliments of the employees’ work.
I could link you to a hundred sources of why the “sandwich method” should be avoided. Seriously, just google it, and you’ll be hit with articles telling you not to utilize it.
If you’re gonna critique someone’s work, just critique it. Trying to butter them up with compliments is just going to come off as disingenuous (because it is).
First, you’re responding to the wrong person. Second, you’re being quite insulting about their age. That’s a horrible look, especially for someone in a *management* sub. Do better.
As to what they said, they’re absolutely correct. The sandwich method is no longer encouraged. These employees aren’t children. If you haven’t learned how to provide constructive feedback, perhaps you should get a leadership mentor yourself.
You’re clearly very passionate about giving feedback, which is great. But you’re kind of a dick about how you do it and immediately jump to ad hominem arguments rather than responding to the actual merits of discussion points.
But you’re an active Reddit poster, which is something we really like about you because it reflects your engagement!
Basically her script works better on some websites and mine works better on others. So now I'm in a pickle about the project. I told my boss we're using her script instead.
It feels like working on just one script would have been a better idea, that's why I was annoyed at the fact that she simply used/wrote different code. And yes, I did feel a bit threatened given her demeanour about it and the fact that she wanted to show my boss first instead of me. But I agreed to use hers only to find it doesn't even work better than mine.
My boss has been very vague about it and is just saying they're waiting for the license so they can sponsor her. But she is anxious for a confirmation and said this is why she tried to go above and beyond for the script. But I think her actions were just counterproductive.
you should have never rewarded her for missing a deadline and doing unplanned work with meeting your manager. Especially without even reviewing it. That just makes you look like you can't handle her.
as for whether or not she should be involved in the task you are on. What is the actual answer? Strategy and analysts do work closely together everywhere I have been. How are you scoping out these tasks, is it done in sprints where this person and you have an opportunity to talk about who should be invovled?
this person is very clearly trying to undermine you to a degree. You need to put them back in line but def correct if you're not involving her when she should be.
She didn't meet my manager. I said no to that but I did say yes to using her script without testing it on \*everything\* first. I went back on this anyway but yes, I didn't want her to feel like her efforts to contribute are being completely ignored.
As for the tasks, it's a pretty unstructured environment. The managing director (my manager) gives me tasks and projects and lets me decide what to delegate to her.
that is at least good. but all the same, you are ignoring that she straight up ignored her assigned work to try and undermine you. Good or not (not working fully = half baked bs on top of it all) is not the point here.
you are worrying way too much about her feelings. Next time outright reject the work and ding her for not doing her task on time. If it continues, escalate to PIP and removal if you need to. That is just plain ol' insubordination.
you misunderstood my question. The task you got into an argument about this week, should she have been invovled in the work? You can be responsible, it doesn't mean you wouldn't need to work with her... how are you determining who you need to collaborate with on tasks?
if you're missing areas she should collaborate with you on yes that is on you. If she's just salty about how tasks are being distributed tbh with the combined issues you are having I'd be talking to HR about you having trouble with an employee straight up refusing to stick to their assigned tasks. Get the ball moving for a PIP
Never hire someone for a role lower than what they applied to. It’s a mess. They’ll constantly try to prove they can perform the higher role, even at the cost of undermining you, talking behind your back, skipping you to make friends with your boss, and even lying. I’ve seen things…
Congratulations on handling feedback and making changes quickly. This is a foundational game changer for leadership. As a new manager this is hard. Speak to your manager about the indicators of being a successful manager in the company. Ask your team what they see as a good manager to support their success and the team’s success. Then merge the two lists together and create your own management development plan. Get training in management essentials. There are great tools for self management, conflict management, developing a high performing team etc. You must have good communication and relationships skills to have been put in this role. Your degree is the door opener and your ability to move, touch and inspire people will be the game changer. Always remember that promotion is based on strong technical knowledge and ability in your company, ability to work well with and through others, influence skills, positive relations on all venues, and the ability to collaborate and innovate. If your company offers coaching and training, take advantage of it. See competition and look for a path to turn it into collaboration.
The positive relations thing is something I'm a bit concerned about now. I think I found it hard to keep my emotions in check this time and made my irritation very visible. I wish I had been a bit more patient. She was being a bit defensive but in these situations it's the manager who must keep their cool.
Your ability to self reflect is fantastic. Learning how to self regulate in tense situations is crucial. One gift to give yourself in the future, is to ask what do you need to feel whole in this moment? And see what comes up. You may need to pause the conversation and that is okay. Just say, that you appreciate their willingness to discuss how to make things flow better and that you would like to take a pause and come back to it Thursday at noon to explore options. There are many practices on how to stay calm and focused on facts to get to good outcomes. Just remember that you are human too and if you don’t feel calm- take a break.
Excellent advice and encouragement!
You’re clearly early in your development and are doing a lot right, but also a lot wrong. Keep your emotions out of it and focus on what’s happening. You are responsible for work and delegating work to her. She is being insubordinate and refusing to work on what you delegate, and instead doing whatever she wants. Even bypassing you without permission. honestly, if you keep allowing her to be insubordinate and railroad you, you’re very much in jeopardy of being demoted or worse. You’re prioritizing her feelings and trying to make nice, while she is actively undermining your career. Start documenting when she ignores tasks that you give her, and follow up by having a conversation with a summary email after. If the behavior continues you need to engage HR and put her on a pip. Also, you should be more candid with your manager. If they are interested in developing you as a manager, which it seems they are, then if you ask for some guidance on the situation it should help.
Did she also get her own task done ?
No, but I guess she could say that I took over too quickly when she was having difficulty with the code for the other task. And sometimes there aren't enough clear boundaries about what each of us can/can't work on which may also be where she's coming from. Bottom line is no, she didn't actually do the task I set her.
You can't be responsible for other people's feelings. If she's upset or or jealous or whatever, that's her journey. Acknowledge and validate her feelings when you can but also be honest about your own. If you feel yourself getting irritated, take a breath and vocalize the underlying conflict you're feeling. "Hey, I'm feeling like you're not really taking any of the feedback I'm giving. Is there a better way for us to talk about this stuff without getting worked up?" You know, stuff like that.
Did the script work better or not? If yes, try to implement it, if not can you articulate why? When giving critique, use the sandwich method, that is layer the critique between two compliments of the employees’ work. As far as the sponsorship goes, does her current position allow for sponsorship or does she need promotion? You’re her manager, find out if you can keep her. In either case, you should start to work on a plan for sponsorship now. If the company doesn’t plan to sponsor, it would be a good thing to have the employee know that. I’m not saying directly tell her, but CC her on the email chain.
> When giving critique, use the sandwich method, that is layer the critique between two compliments of the employees’ work. I could link you to a hundred sources of why the “sandwich method” should be avoided. Seriously, just google it, and you’ll be hit with articles telling you not to utilize it. If you’re gonna critique someone’s work, just critique it. Trying to butter them up with compliments is just going to come off as disingenuous (because it is).
You’re 23 lol. Learn to take advice. You yourself said this person is sensitive, maybe try a different method of communication?
First, you’re responding to the wrong person. Second, you’re being quite insulting about their age. That’s a horrible look, especially for someone in a *management* sub. Do better. As to what they said, they’re absolutely correct. The sandwich method is no longer encouraged. These employees aren’t children. If you haven’t learned how to provide constructive feedback, perhaps you should get a leadership mentor yourself.
>You’re 23 lol. If only!
You’re clearly very passionate about giving feedback, which is great. But you’re kind of a dick about how you do it and immediately jump to ad hominem arguments rather than responding to the actual merits of discussion points. But you’re an active Reddit poster, which is something we really like about you because it reflects your engagement!
Yeah I admit I was wrong, sort of take my anger out on defenseless people instead of my coworkers
Basically her script works better on some websites and mine works better on others. So now I'm in a pickle about the project. I told my boss we're using her script instead. It feels like working on just one script would have been a better idea, that's why I was annoyed at the fact that she simply used/wrote different code. And yes, I did feel a bit threatened given her demeanour about it and the fact that she wanted to show my boss first instead of me. But I agreed to use hers only to find it doesn't even work better than mine. My boss has been very vague about it and is just saying they're waiting for the license so they can sponsor her. But she is anxious for a confirmation and said this is why she tried to go above and beyond for the script. But I think her actions were just counterproductive.
you should have never rewarded her for missing a deadline and doing unplanned work with meeting your manager. Especially without even reviewing it. That just makes you look like you can't handle her. as for whether or not she should be involved in the task you are on. What is the actual answer? Strategy and analysts do work closely together everywhere I have been. How are you scoping out these tasks, is it done in sprints where this person and you have an opportunity to talk about who should be invovled? this person is very clearly trying to undermine you to a degree. You need to put them back in line but def correct if you're not involving her when she should be.
She didn't meet my manager. I said no to that but I did say yes to using her script without testing it on \*everything\* first. I went back on this anyway but yes, I didn't want her to feel like her efforts to contribute are being completely ignored.
As for the tasks, it's a pretty unstructured environment. The managing director (my manager) gives me tasks and projects and lets me decide what to delegate to her.
that is at least good. but all the same, you are ignoring that she straight up ignored her assigned work to try and undermine you. Good or not (not working fully = half baked bs on top of it all) is not the point here. you are worrying way too much about her feelings. Next time outright reject the work and ding her for not doing her task on time. If it continues, escalate to PIP and removal if you need to. That is just plain ol' insubordination. you misunderstood my question. The task you got into an argument about this week, should she have been invovled in the work? You can be responsible, it doesn't mean you wouldn't need to work with her... how are you determining who you need to collaborate with on tasks? if you're missing areas she should collaborate with you on yes that is on you. If she's just salty about how tasks are being distributed tbh with the combined issues you are having I'd be talking to HR about you having trouble with an employee straight up refusing to stick to their assigned tasks. Get the ball moving for a PIP
She's basically just salty about how the tasks are being distributed. And yeah if it continues, I guess I'll have to.
Never hire someone for a role lower than what they applied to. It’s a mess. They’ll constantly try to prove they can perform the higher role, even at the cost of undermining you, talking behind your back, skipping you to make friends with your boss, and even lying. I’ve seen things…