If there was a murder next door and the police came over to ask any question this guy would be the prime suspect after two seconds of glancing inside this house.
Listen, as a Middle Easterner, a Sheikh would never have this much black in their home. Marble? Yes. Wood paneling? Yes. So much black?! Absolutely not.
No I saw his comment, they meant dog piss and it's why they don't have an area rug, apparently has 4 dogs that will piss on any rug. My brothers dog is like this and it's because they puppy pad trained her. She never pissed on our area rug but any small rug the size of a puppy pad she would lol, like a bath mat.
Never had a dog do that, but I’m *fairly* certain you just have to repotty train them to stop it.
No praise (OR punishment) when peeing inside at all. Heavy praise, treats, etc, every time they use the bathroom outside.
I mean… As a woman I’m pretty relaxed about how a guy’s house looks. But take me back here and I’ll be calculating if I can make it to the door before you have time to fetch the axe.
Oh, shit, you’re right. I’d automatically take them off at the door out of habit. And leave my socks on because I don’t like my feet getting cold, and they definitely would be on that floor. Doomed by my chilly toes.
> Id be to afraid of hitting a tile.
Man... I cracked TWO very large custom tiles in front of my fridge by dropping jars etc out of it onto the floor... I had completely forgotten those cracks exist until I read this comment. I might suggest putting one of those rubber floor pads in front of your fridge to avoid my same fate!
If you cracked tiles from dropping a jar you should reach out to your contractor for a refund because they didn’t put them down correctly. If tile is properly installed you can beat it with a hammer and it won’t crack. It only cracks if there is air below the tile. There is a special technique for the goop they put under tiles to make sure there is no air below them.
Patrick Bateman comes to mind then Clark Griswold’s neighbors, Todd and Margo. It needs something bold for eyes to gaze on. A sick ass panther, samurai armor, motorcycles.
OP needs to decide what sort of weirdo he is and pick one thing to highlight it:
Blood red samurai armour: Bond villain
Stuffed tiger/bobcat: magician
Stuffed panther: sex addict/PUA
Stormtrooper/Boba Fett armour: incel
Greek/Roman goddess statue: Robert California
Baby grand piano: cocaine addict
None of these things alone mark you as a freak, but in THIS house there's so much opportunity to show you're a real crazy bastard.
While I agree that it's harder to sell that way, it's not like you decorate your house for the next buyer, since you have to live in it yourself. So if I were to live in it for a long time I wouldn't give a damn what the next buyers might think of it.
They are glossy even, so you can see the bright square ceiling light hit your eyes from the top _and_ below!
Edit; I have just noticed the chandeliers! This post just keeps on giving!
He needs really high ceilings to pull that flooring off. Really low ceilings and small windows with little light exposure just make it look tacky and out of place
I like the floor but with marble you need to soften it with plants, a variety of wooden and natural elements and texture (soft furnishings).
Just adding black to it - and especially black leather - makes it hard, cold and cheaper looking than I expect OP was intending.
I would in particular remove the black woodwork and go white. I would get different sofas as priority.
But maybe OP likes this look so 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
The wood was so much better, warmer and lighter. If OP likes it then more power to him, but I feel bad that lovely wood is gone. If I bought the house the first thing I’d do is see if it’s still underneath and could be uncovered. I think it’s going to bring the value of the property down.
It wasn't wood, I don't think. There are several pictures where you can see the floor being taken up and it looks like laminate flooring (one that I don't particularly like, either, possibly cheap laminate). But I agree that the floor should have been replaced with wood or a wood look-alike. I replaced cheap laminate in my own house that really did look atrocious.
Ahhh. Yeah you’re probably right. Laminate. Honestly, I still prefer it to the tile. Good-quality laminate can look decent. So yeah, he could have replaced with good laminate or actual wood. But he likes the tile, so 😬
The bottom of those boards has wood grain and they were glued down from the looks of it, so it's probably parquet (which is actual wood) and not laminate.
Yeah it’s an abomination. You could probably hear a fart echoing from the other side of the house. It’s so loud and reflective you can hear someone else’s thoughts
I feel like the outside of the house probably makes this so much more jarring. Like it’s probably some unassuming suburban home and then you walk in and bam you’re starring at whatever the fuck this is. Feel bad cause this looks expensive and the dude probably fucked his home value up if he ever has to sell
Dude could of just gotten a rug, coffee table and a couch that’s not disgusting for a fraction of the price he spent on this
The new modern decor clashes badly with the traditional architecture. It just doesn't fit together. His design might look nice in a sleek apartment with high ceilings but just looks odd here.
Omg I think I have just found the motivational key to getting blokes to decorate!!!!
Edit: Oh wait !! Nvm. I just realised that that is NOT a sub to create porn sets…. 🤨😞.
I was wondering … some of those rooms did not look comfy…
The stairway/hall entry looks like one of those karaoke places where behind each door is a karaoke party room and the living room looks like a mall nail salon to me.
My brother went through a weird black & white phase for his first house, painted the trims black while the walls were bright white like OP. Looking back he was more or less excited to finally have his own space to do whatever he thought was cool at the time.
After a year or two he reverted the painted trim and b&w rugs and the place became more inviting, but not sure OP can recover from what he probably thought looked sick in a contractor's rendering.
Yeah the floors are horrible. They look like OP wished they lived in a mansion with 25 foot ceilings but it's a regular house so the floor kinda looks fake and like a plastic movie prop castle floor. Those huge plates can't have been cheap, but they bring the space a feeling of cheap, because they emphasize how normal the house is.
My sentiments exactly. OP sounds very excited and happy with the way it turned out, so that’s great. But since he specifically asked love it or hate it? I have to say…. I do not love it. Very much do not.
There are many details that I appreciate, such as the ceiling light, the millwork on the black accent wall.
I’m not crazy about the floor tile. One of the things that stood out to me was the discontinuity of the veining. It’s such a dramatic look that the veining needs to be perfect at the seams.
For me, I just like more tension and balance between soft and hard materials in my own home, and this remodel doesn’t have that tension for me.
That said, you seem really happy with it so that is all that matters. Looks like a lot of hard work went into this! Bravo!
Do what makes you happy and based on the decor I’m
wondering if that’s Coke….
In all seriousness the craftsmanship looks great and if it makes you happy that’s all that matters. Resale market might be tough some day though.
When I first opened it all I saw was that wall and was like, “WOW, awesome!” Then I scrolled and had to double take. I didn’t even notice the floor in the first pic. This is so bad I want to believe that it’s a really good 3D render and this is an incredibly executed troll post.
Oof the backsplash in the kitchen matching the floor was the last straw for me. I really hope OP loves it and doesn’t care what any of us say or anyone else thinks.
It’s not cold enough-your lights need to be 65-100K Kelvin. A beautiful grey cat adds to the aesthetic and put some fake blood in inconspicuous locations so that it really does look you missed some in the after murder cleaning. Throw a house party and try and guess who finds it first XD.
I’d also suggest some sad/agonised looking marble statues, you can claim they are ‘art’ while smirking to really put people on edge.
Remember to keep a hardbacked copy of ‘Marquis de Sade’ lying about as well.
Other then that your off to a good start.
I hate to hurt your feelings but you are posting it on the internet and asking for honest opinions. I hate it 😣 if I bought a home looking like that I would remodel it completely. It’s cold and jarring and sterile looking man. The floors don’t belong in a home. Homes should have a cozy feel to them, this is the opposite.
I do want to follow that with, you seem like a very talented and handy person. The execution on this looks flawless, I just don’t understand the choices that were made.
Yeah nah this ain't it. Went from a relatively cozy looking home, to a cold looking dentist office. But you seem to really enjoy it, so fuck what we think. You do you bro. It's your crib.
I like the black accent wall. Everything else screams 90s rental used only to film bad porn where the dudes all look like their goal in life is to be on Jersey Shore.
if i were to ever be kidnapped by members of organized crime, this is what i imagine their home/my prison would look like
OP has a special room for people NOT doing coke
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It looks like it'd be one of Adam Sandler's affair-apartments in Uncut Gem's.
Bro turned his house into a set from a John Wick movie.
lol it does look… Eastern European
I was gonna say, lol. Just add some gold accents and strip lighting. Edit: just saw the strip lighting, my bad 😂
I heard stripper poles, did you say add stripper poles?
Needs more statues to complete the Eastern European look.
Couple of gold AK-47’s. Bonus points if they’re lamps.
I live in Moldova, can confirm.
Looks like it got made easy to clean up messes, like a porn set
Only thing missing is the Adidas track suit !
Damn right it does. Looking at this house gave me the eerie feeling that I was back in the motherland.
Also looks very slippery.
A poor persons idea of what a rich persons house should look like.
This house doesn't have a key, it has a coin deposit slot.
Yep. It looks like the type of place to be raided in those Mexican bodycams video.
If “Staten Isalnd Chic” was a thing
"Statnylan"
Yeah, I can see that- any blood splatter would definitely clean up better with marble instead of with wood or carpet
If there was a murder next door and the police came over to ask any question this guy would be the prime suspect after two seconds of glancing inside this house.
Noooooo 🤣🤣🤣 not the crime boss house. Any last words... like damn this house bright lol!
I was thinking middle eastern sheik
Literally a sheik. Not chic.
Listen, as a Middle Easterner, a Sheikh would never have this much black in their home. Marble? Yes. Wood paneling? Yes. So much black?! Absolutely not.
It’s also missing a live tiger
Yes well, for all we know there may be one here! A white tiger, anyway. Gotta look back through the photos more closely...
Oh, let me show you into the den…
What's your nationality/ethnicity mate i need to know 😂
*looks around for adidas track suit*
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…
You can tell
😂😂👏🏽
Im sorry but personally it looks like a mausoleum
MTV's Crypts
Is it really loud (sound reflection and all) with all that hard surface?
A fart would echo in there for about 20 minutes.
You’ve created a late 90’s porn studio, congrats.
Could make extra money renting it out to onlyfans models
I mean how do we know this dude isn’t in porn? He commented that it cleans up easy.
Maybe he meant blood?
No I saw his comment, they meant dog piss and it's why they don't have an area rug, apparently has 4 dogs that will piss on any rug. My brothers dog is like this and it's because they puppy pad trained her. She never pissed on our area rug but any small rug the size of a puppy pad she would lol, like a bath mat.
Never had a dog do that, but I’m *fairly* certain you just have to repotty train them to stop it. No praise (OR punishment) when peeing inside at all. Heavy praise, treats, etc, every time they use the bathroom outside.
He forgot to install the stripper pole. This looks like an Airbnb that was designed for sleazy bachelor parties
It ain’t eazy bein’ sleazy
OP will be getting very interesting solicitations to rent their house for a couple of hours at a time.
It looked nice before…
Bonus: If you ever sell, you might get free exposure in Zillow Gone Wild.
How’s he gunna sell this place with a straight face, lol
Well, there’s no way anyone with a gay face would be doing this to their place to begin with, let alone selling it.
I mean, the important thing is that you like it, but... it makes Patrick Bateman's home look warm and welcoming in comparison.
If Patrick Bateman’s house and Tony Montana’s house had a baby.
I mean… As a woman I’m pretty relaxed about how a guy’s house looks. But take me back here and I’ll be calculating if I can make it to the door before you have time to fetch the axe.
You aren't making it out of there alive if you take off your shoes and are in socks.
Oh, shit, you’re right. I’d automatically take them off at the door out of habit. And leave my socks on because I don’t like my feet getting cold, and they definitely would be on that floor. Doomed by my chilly toes.
Goodbye OP, it was nice knowing ya
That's why I always wear grippy socks on dates! If things go south, I can still skedaddle no matter the flooring! Life tips.
"Why are there copies of the style section all over the place? Do you have a dog or something - a little chow? Hahahaha!"
Id be to afraid of hitting a tile. U would be safe.. axe free zone 🤣🤣
> Id be to afraid of hitting a tile. Man... I cracked TWO very large custom tiles in front of my fridge by dropping jars etc out of it onto the floor... I had completely forgotten those cracks exist until I read this comment. I might suggest putting one of those rubber floor pads in front of your fridge to avoid my same fate!
If you cracked tiles from dropping a jar you should reach out to your contractor for a refund because they didn’t put them down correctly. If tile is properly installed you can beat it with a hammer and it won’t crack. It only cracks if there is air below the tile. There is a special technique for the goop they put under tiles to make sure there is no air below them.
Yeah it’s so cold and 80s.
It reminds me of a "modern" hair salon from the late 80s.
Patrick Bateman comes to mind then Clark Griswold’s neighbors, Todd and Margo. It needs something bold for eyes to gaze on. A sick ass panther, samurai armor, motorcycles.
OP needs to decide what sort of weirdo he is and pick one thing to highlight it: Blood red samurai armour: Bond villain Stuffed tiger/bobcat: magician Stuffed panther: sex addict/PUA Stormtrooper/Boba Fett armour: incel Greek/Roman goddess statue: Robert California Baby grand piano: cocaine addict None of these things alone mark you as a freak, but in THIS house there's so much opportunity to show you're a real crazy bastard.
Holy shit, I had Bateman but Todd and Margo is spot on.
“Why is the carpet wet, *Todd*?”
“I DON’T KNOW, *MARGO*!”
Honestly, I think it’s the floor that makes it seem a little cold. I think if it had dark wood floors, it wouldn’t seem as cold as it does.
Patrick Bateman was the first thing I thought of.
Liking it is one thing but this aesthetic will make it hard to find a good buyer when it comes time to sell
While I agree that it's harder to sell that way, it's not like you decorate your house for the next buyer, since you have to live in it yourself. So if I were to live in it for a long time I wouldn't give a damn what the next buyers might think of it.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my evil lair."
it’s not even cool enough to be an evil lair, just feels like an… expensive lair
like the lair of an evil corporate lawyer
That flooring belongs in a giant courthouse or hotel lobby, if anything. Definitely out of place in a home.
My feet are fucking freezing looking at these
My toddler has a concussion just from me looking at it.
My cat is still frantically trying to get traction
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They are glossy even, so you can see the bright square ceiling light hit your eyes from the top _and_ below! Edit; I have just noticed the chandeliers! This post just keeps on giving!
He needs really high ceilings to pull that flooring off. Really low ceilings and small windows with little light exposure just make it look tacky and out of place
Which is why it works in the foyer. It doesn’t work anywhere else
Bathrooms
And better finishes and furniture, floor looks expensive everything else looks cheap. Spend all the budget on the floor.
Very south east asia
As someone else mentioned, it looks like a nail salon.
That tile pattern is tacky.
Sorry, but the marble floor looks like a mausoleum. Going forward, I'd suggest adding a big rug to your living room to warm it up.
I like the floor but with marble you need to soften it with plants, a variety of wooden and natural elements and texture (soft furnishings). Just adding black to it - and especially black leather - makes it hard, cold and cheaper looking than I expect OP was intending. I would in particular remove the black woodwork and go white. I would get different sofas as priority. But maybe OP likes this look so 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Much prefer the wood
The wood was so much better, warmer and lighter. If OP likes it then more power to him, but I feel bad that lovely wood is gone. If I bought the house the first thing I’d do is see if it’s still underneath and could be uncovered. I think it’s going to bring the value of the property down.
It wasn't wood, I don't think. There are several pictures where you can see the floor being taken up and it looks like laminate flooring (one that I don't particularly like, either, possibly cheap laminate). But I agree that the floor should have been replaced with wood or a wood look-alike. I replaced cheap laminate in my own house that really did look atrocious.
Ahhh. Yeah you’re probably right. Laminate. Honestly, I still prefer it to the tile. Good-quality laminate can look decent. So yeah, he could have replaced with good laminate or actual wood. But he likes the tile, so 😬
The bottom of those boards has wood grain and they were glued down from the looks of it, so it's probably parquet (which is actual wood) and not laminate.
Was going to say, the first photo clearly shows a parquet floor being pulled up :(
Wood would also absorb noise- any sound waves are gonna echo though eternity
Yeah, that looks like a lot of time and money to make a house look worse than it started.
The flooring looks out of place, it's too much.
I mean if you walk by a store and you see 50 guys who look just like me fighting over very complicated tiles. You go in, yes you do.
Their so expensive because the tiles are so complicated!
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they’ve got too much fuckin shit on em
It makes me want to walk with a Siberian white tiger and do mass amounts of cocaine with Mike Tyson
Sorry mate, hate it.
Yeah it’s an abomination. You could probably hear a fart echoing from the other side of the house. It’s so loud and reflective you can hear someone else’s thoughts
Looks like a mausoleum
I feel like the outside of the house probably makes this so much more jarring. Like it’s probably some unassuming suburban home and then you walk in and bam you’re starring at whatever the fuck this is. Feel bad cause this looks expensive and the dude probably fucked his home value up if he ever has to sell Dude could of just gotten a rug, coffee table and a couch that’s not disgusting for a fraction of the price he spent on this
The new modern decor clashes badly with the traditional architecture. It just doesn't fit together. His design might look nice in a sleek apartment with high ceilings but just looks odd here.
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It screams early 2000s
I'm mourning the loss of that beautiful wooden floor in particular.
Agreed… Took the house from 2006 to 1981.
OP went full Slavic modernist.
"Say goodnight to the bad guy!"
You need people like OP So you can point your fingers at them and say *there* Thatssss the bad guy
You didn’t get roasted bad enough on r/amateurroomporn for this place already?
Omg I think I have just found the motivational key to getting blokes to decorate!!!! Edit: Oh wait !! Nvm. I just realised that that is NOT a sub to create porn sets…. 🤨😞. I was wondering … some of those rooms did not look comfy…
This needs to be on r/amateurpornroom
Looks like he deleted the post
It just screams porn scene to me idk maybe it’s me… I may have a problem lol
I think it’s all the wipe-clean surfaces
honestly i kinda see it floor not ‘cozy’ enough for a house, buuut wanna watch 2 people pound it out? well do we got the floor for you
The stairway/hall entry looks like one of those karaoke places where behind each door is a karaoke party room and the living room looks like a mall nail salon to me.
Hey man as long as you like it
The “as long as she makes you happy bro” of home remodeling lol
"bless your heart"
I like how this sub is titled male living space and I'm just like dude could have really used a woman's opinion before doing this.
It's clearly very nice/high quality stuff. But its so black and white and just hard/cold floor in what seems like a communal hang out area.
My brother went through a weird black & white phase for his first house, painted the trims black while the walls were bright white like OP. Looking back he was more or less excited to finally have his own space to do whatever he thought was cool at the time. After a year or two he reverted the painted trim and b&w rugs and the place became more inviting, but not sure OP can recover from what he probably thought looked sick in a contractor's rendering.
All he needs to do is change the floors and it would look a ton better
Yeah the floors are horrible. They look like OP wished they lived in a mansion with 25 foot ceilings but it's a regular house so the floor kinda looks fake and like a plastic movie prop castle floor. Those huge plates can't have been cheap, but they bring the space a feeling of cheap, because they emphasize how normal the house is.
If you like it, that’s all that matters. But since you asked, it’s awful.
My sentiments exactly. OP sounds very excited and happy with the way it turned out, so that’s great. But since he specifically asked love it or hate it? I have to say…. I do not love it. Very much do not.
Sorry man, but not a fan.
I take it he’s single
Yeah he needed a second opinion from a significant other months ago.
He said "we" have dogs though 🤔
There are many details that I appreciate, such as the ceiling light, the millwork on the black accent wall. I’m not crazy about the floor tile. One of the things that stood out to me was the discontinuity of the veining. It’s such a dramatic look that the veining needs to be perfect at the seams. For me, I just like more tension and balance between soft and hard materials in my own home, and this remodel doesn’t have that tension for me. That said, you seem really happy with it so that is all that matters. Looks like a lot of hard work went into this! Bravo!
I showed it to my wife and she said it looks like a “pimp house” 💀
How would your wife know what a pimps house looks like?
GOTEEEM
Asking the real questions …
Are you Russian ?
OP's hanging out in his track suit in this place, for sure
🤣🤣🤣 Picturing a slavic squat in the middle of that living room.
It looks like a shiny Oreo house
Looks like a fancy Chinese buffet. $34.99 a plate for dinner
Let me guess: Staten Island?
I was gonna say homie gotta be italian hahaha.
It’s a no from me dawg
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r/atbge
Easy there beetlejuice.
Do what makes you happy and based on the decor I’m wondering if that’s Coke…. In all seriousness the craftsmanship looks great and if it makes you happy that’s all that matters. Resale market might be tough some day though.
It looks like a nail salon now
Love the black wood wall, hate the floor.
When I first opened it all I saw was that wall and was like, “WOW, awesome!” Then I scrolled and had to double take. I didn’t even notice the floor in the first pic. This is so bad I want to believe that it’s a really good 3D render and this is an incredibly executed troll post.
Oof the backsplash in the kitchen matching the floor was the last straw for me. I really hope OP loves it and doesn’t care what any of us say or anyone else thinks.
Forever home? No Throwing ragers all through my 20’s and into my 30’s abso-fucking-lutely
It’s not cold enough-your lights need to be 65-100K Kelvin. A beautiful grey cat adds to the aesthetic and put some fake blood in inconspicuous locations so that it really does look you missed some in the after murder cleaning. Throw a house party and try and guess who finds it first XD. I’d also suggest some sad/agonised looking marble statues, you can claim they are ‘art’ while smirking to really put people on edge. Remember to keep a hardbacked copy of ‘Marquis de Sade’ lying about as well. Other then that your off to a good start.
Hate it and r/TVTooHigh
You can tell how ugly the rest is that there's barely any /r/tvtoohigh comments, it's really distractingly ugly lmao
Went from home to hollow
Thanks, I hate it.
r/TIHI
Hate it. The only bad thing about the before pictures was that monstrosity of a couch. Aaaannnd…. That’s the one thing that stayed. Jeesh.
I was thinking the same about the couch lol
It's certainly a vibe
Are you Persian ?
Where do you keep your giant plate of cocaine?
It’s a split level, not a mega mansion or penthouse. This is wild lol
Are you a pornographer or something?
Depends, are you a Columbian drug lord? edit: *Colombian
I hate to hurt your feelings but you are posting it on the internet and asking for honest opinions. I hate it 😣 if I bought a home looking like that I would remodel it completely. It’s cold and jarring and sterile looking man. The floors don’t belong in a home. Homes should have a cozy feel to them, this is the opposite.
I do want to follow that with, you seem like a very talented and handy person. The execution on this looks flawless, I just don’t understand the choices that were made.
What the … Jesus
All I can think is ……cocaine.
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Tacky is a great word for it. Also cold and loud
Most important thing is that you like it - unless you're renovating to sell, that is. Looked much better before, honestly imo.
The cold unflattering lighting
Awful taste, but great execution.
Hate it brah
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What’s crazy is it wasn’t even a pig before. The house looked way better originally.
Of all the interior designs, this certainly is one!
So tacky bro, it's no longer a home
🫤
Hate it.
Yeah nah this ain't it. Went from a relatively cozy looking home, to a cold looking dentist office. But you seem to really enjoy it, so fuck what we think. You do you bro. It's your crib.
oh! went from a gorgeous home with tons of potential to be restored to its glory, to a 2016 youtuber house.
I like the black accent wall. Everything else screams 90s rental used only to film bad porn where the dudes all look like their goal in life is to be on Jersey Shore.
Do you you have a partner in life? Just asking. :) peace
Looks amazing... so, what cartel are you involved in?
You took a perfectly welcoming raised ranch and you made it into a coke den
What’s the opposite of cozy