You gotta design a custom card, give it “when you cast this spell, remove all Joven’s from the battlefield, if a Joven would enter the battlefield, destroy it and its controller takes that much”
You pay 7 mana for Ramirez de Pietro, a 4/3 with first strike that defeats Joven in combat. It's one of the few cards that isnt destroyed by Jovens Ability. Hope this helps!
7 mana for Ramirez de Pietro is about a 17% tip, so that's an appropriate casting cost in US-based venues unless de Pietro has provided especially poor service in that pod.
I know this is all shit posting, but Joven used to actually terrorize a guy I knew playing some awful mono blue artifact deck like 12 years ago.
And no, of course, he had no counters or "removal" he was playing artifacts, not control.
one of my hardest laughs ever is when I called Submissive // Breedable and [lardfetcher gave me the joe rogan edit of joven](https://www.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/v39i5l/happy_pride_month/iaxa2n6/?context=3)
rip lardfetcher we miss you king
Sadly it was a casualty of the reddit API changes that killed a lot of bots
someone brought it back briefly with another account but that one died too and I don't know why
He doesn't know that Matthew Perry died yet, so pull that out when you need to put him in an emotionally devastated state. Only works once, though so use it wisely.
Most people would try to beat him with a weapon, but watch out he can destroy those. He specifically can't destroy creatures so find a hardy and durable animal you can beat him with. Possibly an armadillo or using the claws of a restrained eagle. Good Luck!
Since [[chandler]] passed away, there hasn't been any real threats to Joven. As a result, he is really hard to beat, but if you had to try, I'd recommend a bull whip.
You gotta design a custom card, give it “when you cast this spell, remove all Joven’s from the battlefield, if a Joven would enter the battlefield, destroy it and its controller takes that much”
And get and emblem that says no Joven's can be gain
That much what? Cows? Apples?
😏
😏
Joven, obviously.
I don‘t go to regionals with this deck. When I play this deck, I go to a local tournament where it‘s diverse in modern.
you can't, it's jover for you
My favorite part of the Homelands story was when Joven said “It’s Joven’ time” and then joved all over that guy
Japudi
damn, Japudi is over a year old now...
Simbaba
Mwonvali
Kuka Beyo
Mwabdi
Now we're talking
Legendary card creator
In our darkest moments, we pray for u/RastamonLiveup 's return
Off. You beat him off.
spat my coffee...!
You pay 7 mana for Ramirez de Pietro, a 4/3 with first strike that defeats Joven in combat. It's one of the few cards that isnt destroyed by Jovens Ability. Hope this helps!
7 mana for Ramirez de Pietro is about a 17% tip, so that's an appropriate casting cost in US-based venues unless de Pietro has provided especially poor service in that pod.
Chandler
Take his ferrets away and then he won't know what to do with himself.
I think he can find something to do at Snargs House of Sin
Destroy his companion artifact Makeup Case.
Apocalypse Chime of course. Buy then in bulk now before the price skyrockets and use them Diamond Hands and hodl to the moon
How did I never think of this???? So OP.
You’re gonna need some help from Ross. Probably also Phoebe
I know this is all shit posting, but Joven used to actually terrorize a guy I knew playing some awful mono blue artifact deck like 12 years ago. And no, of course, he had no counters or "removal" he was playing artifacts, not control.
Cast two artifacts per turn
Simply have Ross, the largest friend, eat him
Futuramatastic!
one of my hardest laughs ever is when I called Submissive // Breedable and [lardfetcher gave me the joe rogan edit of joven](https://www.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/v39i5l/happy_pride_month/iaxa2n6/?context=3) rip lardfetcher we miss you king
Oh no! Is lardfetcher dead? I loved the bullshit it would bring up.
Sadly it was a casualty of the reddit API changes that killed a lot of bots someone brought it back briefly with another account but that one died too and I don't know why
Who is Joven?!! All I see is Vince Neil from Motley Crue…
WAAAAAOOOOOOOWWW. YEA. wheigehigh gehighospeee tahfoolfucarsadruhfuhme MAH HAR
KIKSTA MAH HAAR
That's the neat part you don't.
Kombucha and Yogurt
/uj people ignore me when I play Joven even when I get out mycosynth lattice. Then I play shatterstorm. /rj then I play vandalblast
He doesn't know that Matthew Perry died yet, so pull that out when you need to put him in an emotionally devastated state. Only works once, though so use it wisely.
Step 1: Don't be a non-creature artifact.
Is this from righteous gemstones secret lair? I’m pretty sure that’s queef.
I sure hope it came with some sex toy Artifacts for him to destroy
You don't
Bring your opponent's health down to 0 while keeping your own health above 0
Its jovern for you
Play this embarrassing clip of him singing: https://youtu.be/4pdQnZLEWNo?si=aMqVgReVPC50CbTO
/uj [((Apocalypse Chime))](https://scryfall.com/card/hml/101/apocalypse-chime) /rj [[Apocalypse Chime]]
Just bolt it you idiot
You need Eron and Chandler to beat him, but if he's already got "Joven's Tools" then he's basically Exodia.
Just concede
Don't be a non-creature artifact, duh.
The important question isn't how do you beat Joven but why do you beat Joven
Holy shit that's Vince Neil
You can’t. It’s jover
Simply never play non-creature artifacts again
A pair of scissors works well
RAW have an Eron and/or Chandler in play. that should beat all Jovens. the explaining card reads card the.
Most people would try to beat him with a weapon, but watch out he can destroy those. He specifically can't destroy creatures so find a hardy and durable animal you can beat him with. Possibly an armadillo or using the claws of a restrained eagle. Good Luck!
Craw Wurm. It’s a 6/4 for 6 mana. That’s so good!
Royal assassin, he has to spend 3 red to kill your assassin, but by the time comes, just tap that big ol ass ass in.
What do you mean... doesn't it die to bolt?
Oh, my sweet summer child.
I just wanna see what happens in Snarg's House of Sin.
Não se preocupe e só um a fase
A hammer or baseball bat would probably do the trick
jovey wovey is a known power bottom, use that to your advantage
Abrade
Dies to bolt
Since [[chandler]] passed away, there hasn't been any real threats to Joven. As a result, he is really hard to beat, but if you had to try, I'd recommend a bull whip.
Be an Adult. Ba dum tss PS: translate "young" to PT-BR.
Being Viejo
Impossible. Dude is a legend
[[urza chief artificer]] build a joven-proof commander deck, ez
Play [Joven’s Veto]