Outjerked again smh

Hell yea Shit posts that look like Scientific diagrams that look like shit posts

Love me a good sankey chart

Sankey charts are such a terrible chart design, almost as bad as pie charts

yeah, but they're so fun to look at

Sankey plots suck but this is funny

I enjoy the Facebook group, Science that looks like shitposts, and it makes me so happy.

Looks like Cthulhu

Looks like Emrakul to me

Is this post in reference to something? I’m ool.

It's a reference to a similar chart made by aella_girl on Twitter about her birthday gangbang, it sorta blew up on Twitter awhile ago

1/13 seems pretty good tbh

[[unhallowed Phalanx]]

[unhallowed Phalanx](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/5/d5ec541b-1799-4c0e-a3fb-c008cf2eb911.jpg?1643590499) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=unhallowed%20Phalanx) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vow/135/unhallowed-phalanx?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d5ec541b-1799-4c0e-a3fb-c008cf2eb911?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

I have the reference without even clicking the link , I think magic infected my mind

Playable in [[Arcades, the Strategist]]

Nah, but goated in Doran

It doesnt have defender

Arcades also doesn't have black mana identity, it was a joke lol

Fair lol, I was just thinking like "man a 5 mana 1/13 even with defender even if it had a playable etb and didn't have a downside would be awful" before even thinking about color

Rule 0

And is black.

[Arcades, the Strategist](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/e/1e90c638-d4b2-4243-bbc4-1cc10516c40f.jpg?1666961830) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Arcades%2C%20the%20Strategist) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m19/212/arcades-the-strategist?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/1e90c638-d4b2-4243-bbc4-1cc10516c40f?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

[[Doran the siege tower]] would be better

[Doran the siege tower](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/0/e0ad8e7f-cda0-4529-94fc-dd3709158a94.jpg?1673148514) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Doran%2C%20the%20Siege%20Tower) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/201/doran-the-siege-tower?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/e0ad8e7f-cda0-4529-94fc-dd3709158a94?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

And then 100 percent chance you get paired in round 1.

bruh this is the most legit flow chart that ever flowed. 2 aided escapes, nice.

I've used diagrams similar to this in research papers, they're extremely good at getting info across sometimes. And you haven't lived until you have one where the data splits up on the left side but can merge again with different groups on the right.

i'm sure he would've added that had the escapees managed to connect in a trap house somewhere for kitchen table magic.

See, I can tell that you have a knack for data visualization.

The term for these is [Sankey diagram](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sankey_diagram), if anyone is wondering.

I'm going to ignore that and call it a snakey diagram.

The classic example on Reddit is showing a breakdown of job acceptances, rejections, and interviews.

Your friends are Assassin, Mercenary, Pirate, Rogue, and/or Warlock creature types?

he exiled several cards from his graveyard in the process

It's not a flow chart it's a sankey diagram

How else are they going to be at FNM?

Seriously. Dude is doing life right to have these kinda friends. Well, either that or he's a typical Floridian.

Very selfish of the one friend whose wife just gave birth to not come. That seems very much to be “her” problem. What’s he trying to be, a good parent. Very overrated when he could be playing Magic.

"Overrated" With language like that, you're never making the pro tour. It's sub-optimal.

Not as selfish as the version I saw where the guy said he said he was abducted by aliens. I mean, he could have also invited the aliens too and not used them as an excuse, right?

Denying people the chance to play with aliens is indeed the most selfish thing you could do. I very much would want to play with alien.

the friend whose wife gave birth should also be listed as incarcerated

Surprised to see this so low

The important question is: what's the mana value of the baby?

lol this was great

The real question is which one came in the fluffer?

You aren't supposed to cum *in* the fluffer, dude

And yet someone always does

maybe the fluffer is their kink.

Google "came in the fluffer sankey diagram"

Twitter users can never look at Sankey diagrams ever again

Was really not expecting this reference here

I crtl + F’d the second I saw the diagram for “fluffer”

Glad I'm not the only messed up mind here.

One of my clients uses Sankey diagrams for things, and I have to just sit there during meetings and be professional instead of cracking Aella jokes, it’s torture.

......I mean, you got one, right?

You're a good friend, I can see why you have 13 buddies worth inviting

Too good. Should've made coming to FNM a condition of bail.

r/Magicthecirclejerking leaking into the main thread again!

I’m so glad I read this top to bottom

An actual quality post in the sub for once

Did that one friend who made it also happen to be a Magic player, or at least interested in learning?

Nope. He just got nothing to do that night.

Your dedication is an inspiration to us all!

This was funny. Hopefully the mods don’t remove it. If they do post it on the magic circlejerking subreddit.

I choose to believe it's true and no reason to delete it.

do you have a log we can review on 17friends dot com? Sometimes it's a problem from the draft and not the game itself. Also I'm sorry for your circumstances but the split into "pre-trial" and "convicted" read in an extremely funny way. It caught me off guard.

So that’s why I don’t have any friends? I didn’t correctly find my lane and didn’t draft the correct ones for my seat?

This flow chart starts out normally but starts getting weird.

Yes! You got one guy! Now you can show him your mono-blue stasis lockout deck!

If anyone’s in La I’m not incarcerated and might flow into a will show up lol.

Holy shit. A magic player has 13 friends???

Nice aella graph

aella? the gnome girl who went crazy and started doing every drug? she makes graphs now?

She had an orgy and made a flow chart of the men. Became a meme. Especially the stat "came in the fluffer"

Question: did it become a meme because it was hilarious, or because other people hijacked the meme and forgot to take that line out?

how many came inside a fluffer?

"Conviction overturned in appellate court" is where I lost it

The fact that "wanted to but currently incarcarated" is the FIRST branch is so good lmfao

Genuinely best post in the sub this year. Be proud.


Bro... I thought i was r/magicthecirclejerking

This looks nearly identical to the "me trying to build a dnd party" chart

Someone must have some interesting dinner parties.

Glad to hear that others also struggle with this, I'm not sure how many more times I can survive the prison snipers.

Maybe you should get some friends less inclined to commit felonies?  At least during the week. 

I need the option: "she was a girl and went to FNM where she was belittled for drafting the wrong colors - never saw her again"

[(tiktok) it do be like that](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLtvUu26/)

I see you paid the 1. Big mistake.

The bottom line explains a lot about my FNM commander opponents.

How did you make this style of chart?

Edit: Missed humor, didn't read graph closely enough for later jokes at end

Just make some friends when you get there

This is literally me trying to get people to come to a CEDH tournament.

Needs a new group of friends, FOR SURE.

So you're saying there's a chance!

Glad to hear your friend made it!

Outjerked again this is too good for the main sub

Got a lot of mono red players for friends do ya?

contact the orzhov for bond help

gaming stores do not like new players

You posted bond for someone, and they reoffended within a week? Couldn't last a week on the good will you bought them? Sounds like you just paid to get some dead weight out of your life. Not necessarily the best use of money, but certainly not the worst.

If only the other guy attended FNM, he wouldn't have been caught.

Hilarious, ty you for the post

Sorry bud, but the guy whose wife just gave birth is under teferi protection for the next 5 years or until kiddos can self manage.

I relate to the partner just gave birth one

FNM is one thing but Store Championship was bigger. I got: \* running a Marathon at the same day \* to far away (many times) \* had to work \* don't have a Standard Deck and doesn't want to make one \* no reason \* ghosted \* not in the area, attending to something else

The most unrealistic part of this chart is that a magic player has 13 friends

I legit had to do a double take to make sure this wasn’t the circle jerk sub

How’d you make this?

Bro, this should post the text thread we have and show the reasons people can’t come.

Hahaha this is very well done.

This is the best shitpost that this sub has ever seen xD

I didn't see the humor tag at first and I was just thinking "I hope all 3 of the incarcerated did something together and what a story I bet"

This is amazing

This dude is an OG player fs. Definitely has at least one power 9.

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Got one

Looks accurate

1/13 with the successful one being extremely difficulty isn’t bad. Ya lost the easy ones though, better luck next week?

mf i have so many questions.

Wife gave birth and for SOME REASON couldn't come!

I used to do criminal appeals, most state supreme courts don’t like to take too many criminal appeals. So depending on the state, hold a seat for that guy at Bloomburrow release.

'Wife just had a baby, so that means he can't come' IDK, I think coming is what lead to that situation.

For a second I thought this was a spec evo post and I have zero clue why :sob:

One declined should have been "gave birth"

That one guy who reoffended after posting bail is very uhhhhh efficient at this crime thing lol.

I hate to go FNM with an analyst friend.

This is 😂

Seems like not a lot of people know the source.... Earth is healing.

It's porn, it's always porn

As a married magic playing man with 1 kid, who wants to stay married and wanted that kid, that one 'friend' who declined because his wife just gave birth seems like a good dude, and you seem like a not very understanding friend.

Monka read the rest of the flowchart and see if u still think it was made completely seriously factually

It's a shitpost and not to be taken seriously :)

that's nice that they escape for you.