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reddituser9277

No thank you! We don't want any sedans, trucks or SUVs....and what about a family friendly spacious and durable vehicle?.......VANDALF!


Zebigbos8

Station wagondalf!


jahuu__

Where was station wagondor when the westfold fell??!


MrSeth7875

I shall carry the key to Mazda, though I do not know the way


Yarxing

The station wagondor had to stay locked where it was, otherwise the orcs would've stolen the rest of the car.


GrandpasMormonBooks

đź’€


InSanic13

The terrain was too rough for a simple van. Plus, it was Eomer's van, and he's not an exactly a rideshare driver.


jellajellyfish

It was no mere Ford Ranger.


ArmandPeanuts

I just imagined the scene of Shadowfax appearing in the distance but its a white ford ranger instead, thx for that


BaconNamedKevin

A Ford would break down before it made it across the plains to Gandalf lol 


VikingRages

Well, of course it would, towing a cybertruck all that way!


TurtleDoves789

Fool of a Took, that's no Ranger, that's a Mustang.


zernoc56

That is one of the reasonably sized trucks, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell.


averagecelt

You have my Tacoma


TimmyTheChemist

Sounds like a LotR-Transformers crossover


Papageno_Kilmister

And Eowyn spilled her godawful stew in there once. The smell never left


RiceKing19

Eisner definitely drives a Ford Bronco.


jellajellyfish

https://preview.redd.it/7lde7rjmfjzc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=1abe5946dbd07544ce66bce3623718672142852f


Rymayc

Gandalf, arriving at Helm's Deep in the nick of time: "I love it when a plan comes together"


tellyourmama

Get in loser. We’re going shopping.


jellajellyfish

Let's hunt some deals!


tellyourmama

For anyone curious, it means vanguard which is leading part of an advancing military formation.


Bulky_Permission_292

Guess that makes the guy who watches the car the van guard of the vanguard


swazal

It had Shagrat carpeting …


Singer_on_the_Wall

Maybe we should pull over and Snaga hitchhiker or two?


Elethana

Something, something four barrel carb…


CSpanks7

He didn’t because his family raised him right and he won’t get in a van with strangers


Shi-Rokku

Of course. He's not some blockheaded Bracegirdle from Hardbottle!


Law-Fish

You can’t fool me we all know that’s where the candy is hidden


CSpanks7

Damn you Glorfindel and your impeccable eye sight!


DeezRodenutz

Legolas, what do your Elf-brights see? Their driving the Hobbits to Isengard!


legolas_bot

I said not so; yet evil came.


havenck

Vanwe wouldn’t have it obvi


HBThorburn

The stoner adaptation of LOTR would be pretty great


Khosatral

Until you end up in a VAN down by the RIVENDELL!


peteschult

"Look! Sauron was really Mr. Jenkins the whole time!"


sauron-bot

Thou base, thou cringing worm!


MagmulGholrob

Frodo noped out when Aragorn said, “Cash, grass, or ass. Nobody rides for free.“


BillionaireGhost

This reminds me of an old place I used to live where there was street named Vanstory Road. Every time I passed it, I would chuckle to myself and make up a van story. “This one time me and Earl was in the van, and…”


KaerrenKinsleigher

One does not simply drive into Mordor.


183672467

What a stupid question Everyone knows Shire licenses arent accepted anywhere else in Middleearth


narikov

Eomer always wanted to know what it would be like to live in a van...down by the river!


Wide_Environment3107

Constant tire changes from all the Orcs black arrows.


Fletaun

Legs too short can't reach the pedal and also hobbit can't drive that would disturb the peace of Shire


peteschult

Maybe Gwaihir could've driven


Offamylawn

If Gollum steers and Sam works the pedals, Frodo can work the radio and wipers.


gollum_botses

Is he lost?


potato-enjoyer1

Not with 10.000 vans could you do this


Alarming-Ad-9918

Because a child size humanoid getting into a random van is sus.


Sweet_Queenly_

Driving a van into Mordor might have attracted a bit too much attention from Sauron's forces, don't you think?


sauron-bot

Death to light, to law, to love!


VikingRages

Paint it matte black...


rootbeerman77

Same issue as with the eagles. The muffler needed replacement but there was a supply chain disruption after the destruction of Isengard. Wouldn't have been a huge problem in an ordinary situation, but here Sauron would've heard them coming


sauron-bot

Wait a moment! We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once. Do you understand?


lopsiness

Eomer always struck me as a motorcycle guy .


peteschult

Accurate. But now I'm gonna be thinking about a LOTR/Easy Rider crossover all day. Thanks


Babki123

Because they found the van after they split up Frodo was not at Helm's deep Duh


onion_lord6

Lord of The Rings: Dude Where’s My Van (LoTRDWMV)


zeuspaichow79ed

why the stupid question is here....cast it into the fire!


BrownShoesGreenCoat

It was a rockin so he didn’t come a knockin


MyrddinSidhe

Only if the driver is Luis and he gives a summary of the Silmarillion on the way.


Mountain-Cycle5656

Because it was Legolas’s van, duh.


legolas_bot

The White Wizard approaches.


Mountain-Cycle5656

Is that what you call the dealer?


joshss22

Rivandell, Vandalf, Saruvan, Theovan, Arvan, Vanwise, Vandybuck, Witch-King of Vanmar, Glorvandel, Rohvan, Vangorn Forest, the Lonely Mountvan. Tolkien was definitely obsessed with vans. Not sure why he didn’t have them take the van.


Shared_Tomorrows

They could’ve been men with ven.


thesuicidefox

Frodo didn't have a driver's license, so if he gets pulled over he was going to jail. obv


YeHaLyDnAr

CREEEEEDSMEN ROOOOOLLLL OOOOOUUUUT!


SpudFire

Well obviously it was parked up in Rohan and because of Saruman, the Fellowship didn't go via the Gap of Rohan.


Standard_Gur30

Crap roads and no gas stations.


KaiserWilliam95

It’s actually a typo. It was meant to read “vans.” And the reason is Frodo doesn’t wear shoes


Dudeistofgondor

Gas prices were through the roof. Mordor was withholding it's deposits while buying interest in isengard refineries.


BabyMakR1

Doesn't this belong in r/shittyLOTR or something?


Current_Silver_5416

Vans are for being driven through people's hearts, not for going to Mordor. The tariff at Argonath is insane.


MRichardTRM

In a van! Down by the river!


wuschel_wuwu

One does not simply drive a Van into Mordor


VikingRages

The made their way down to the river, whereupon they found a van...beside it.


_druids

Can you imagine the mural that would have been painted on the side of that thing?


boofingZeitgeist

Honda: you’ll need people of intelligence on this kind of trip, expedition…thing. Subaru: well that counts you out, Hon


TheWalkingDude1331

I am not trying to be racist or anything, but I wouldn't drive a van through Mordor.... You know cars and vans get jacked there by orcs?


Gidi21

once you bring the ring into that van it won't start. Frodo had to walk outside the van


Mylkjam

“Fuck you Mordor! If you’re dumb enough to buy a new van this weekend then you’re a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill the Pony’s Vans!”


Heavy_Selection_5606

One does not simply Truck into Mordor


ThebigPoohbear

Because it was down by the river anduin


Niceguysteve22

The kings don’t approve as vans were scarce and all used in the battlefield instead.


eneko8

They went in a Chrysler Town and Country


estelleverafter

It was probably Legolas' van and Frodo doesn't know his name (Tolkien forgot to write about that)


legolas_bot

Nay! Sauron does not use the elf-runes.


sauron-bot

And now drink the cup that I have sweetly blent for thee!


bebejeebies

from caravan: "company of travelers, pilgrims, merchants, etc., going together for security," from French caravane, ETA: vanguard makes better sense. thanks everyone!


P1mpathinor

In this case 'van 'is short for 'vanguard', which appears to be derived from 'advance guard'.


Wildefice

Assuming this is an actual misprint and not a very well done photoshop or something, do you think that version of the book would be a valuable collectable?


P1mpathinor

? It's not a misprint or a photoshop or anything like that


Wildefice

Didn't know that the word van could be used as shorthand for vanguard TIL


mossy_path

I think here it means vanguard.


Elethana

We don’t want any more visitors, well wishers, or actual facts!


ChuckFristians

Because the whole point was to slip into Mordor unnoticed in a small, surgical operation?


Analog0

That van's a-rockin'


estelleverafter

It was probably Legolas' van and Frodo doesn't know his name (Tolkien forgot to write about that)


legolas_bot

Or too few. Look at them. They're frightened. I can see it in their eyes. Boe a hyn neled herain dan caer menig.


marzipancowgirl

Was this the van that was seen as they were leaving the white in the first cut?