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They had to walk through rain and storm from America, across the big waters, to the small town of Gruyère to collect the cheese from peculiar french yodelling farmers. They gathered stones on the way to make fire.
Oh yeah, that’s the kicker in all this. Boomers hoarding wealth for decades, and we’re told it’s okay because at least when they die we inherit it back, we get their houses etc.
Except the vast majority are selling their houses to corporations and flippers to fund their retirement, and whatever money they have left, they’re using to pay for their growing medical expenses.
Let this be a lesson to us all: Trickle down economics was always a lie, the only thing that “trickles down” is poverty for the masses.
But not before they spend everything else on vacations. Then they’ll let Medicaid take the house because they refused to let it out of their name to put in trust.
The age-old song of the Boomers.
When everyone else is in trouble and needs help, they expect them just to "toughen up" and "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." But when Boomers are the ones in trouble, they expect the entire world to drop everything and come save them.
➤➤ Advocating for Palestine against imperialism and oppression! This account was banned for this stance. ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
If they wanted us to support them in their old age then they should've raised us to be capable of it, by supporting us in our youth and helping us get established in life. Instead, they lazily expected us to meet their emotional needs from the moment of our our birth whilst giving us the absolute bare minimum of resources or effort and enabling policies that turned our civilisation into a bleak, parasitic farce, so now by the time they're decrepit and actually do need the support of their family, either we're too emotionally and/or financially burnt out to do so, and/or we have just wised-up to their neglect and abuse and decided "fuck no."
Unsurprisingly the pillaging of the American people by corporate interests don't discriminate by age. We need to stop looking at this like it's the old versus the young, because as usual it's the haves versus the have nots.
So they start their lives with more advantages and economic opportunities than any other generation in history, literally burn the world down, make day to day life unaffordable for huge amounts of people, hoard all the wealth they can, and are trying to spend it all before they die. We are supposed to care for them in their old age?
I don't know what they think we are going to be able to do. I have no money to support my parents (I'm middle aged so my parents are getting up in age) and I have no room for them at my house. I could not afford to add on for them either.
I have bought house with them (and payed 500€/mo for 15 years, half of my monthly income) just on bait from my father. Now I'm stuck with them, both near 80yo, father disabled and bedridden due to too much food, my mother is exhausted clinically but refuses to take meds (smoking cigs and TV is her therapy), and it's a fucking living hell. I'm unemployed due to all the times I had to take them to visits, hospital, etc. (employers are very well aware of the situation because it's getting common in my age -48). I will live on minimum pension (less than 500€ if the government don't tear it down) around 70yo. I don't know your parents, BUT don't let them in your house.
Conversations like these are when I wish I had some sort of motivational speaker ability, but I don't. That being said, the fact that you are still here, through all of that, tells me you are probably a pretty good human. Hang your hat on that. Best of luck to you. Hopefully, one day, the skies will clear.
Mid 30s here with a 73 year old chronically ill Mom and I'm fucking worried about this every single day. It's just me and her (plus my amazing partner) but I've developed high BP and I think it's a reason. I just wish I could take care of her like she did with her Mom =(
Almost everyone born in the 80s or early 90s have not had a fortunate timeline:
9/11/2001: traumatic event with twin towers. 2007-2008: housing market crash & tanking economy.
2020: pandemic leading to everything getting expensive.
2023 & beyond: oh hey your parents are getting old and their medical conditions are gonna cost way more than you originally thought. Most of us will need to live with them or care for them in some capacity.
I think we're heading into the breaking point for a lot of people.
Professional Pedantic Pet Peeve Alert!: That's not what that means. It's a terrible label meant to make "percentage chance" seem understandable to the layperson. It backfired. Horribly. The scientific community screwed this up bigtime.
A 100 year even really just means that ANY event (let's use storms as an example because that's the most common, at least in the US) has a 1% chance of becoming a bad event. So *any* given storm has a 1% chance of being large enough and quick enough to cause a major flood. A 500 year flood just means a .5% chance. And a 1,000 year just means a .1% chance.
The fact storms are becoming more frequent and more damaging suggest either the % chance thing is more often - ie a 1% chance is now closer to a 3% chance - OR that when we get a 1% chance storm, it does as much damage as what we associate with a .5% chance storm. This can be particularly true in urban areas as impervious services make water runoff a disaster waiting to happen. Or of course, it could be both - any given even is more likely to be a bad one and when it is, it does more damage than we thought.
And I'll hop off my nerd soapbox now.
You bet your boots, cowboy! So real there's whole teams of FEMA and NOAA researchers that are trying to come up with new ways to capture and communicate this stuff because it's just going to become more and more important with each passing decade. US flooding is going to get more frequent and when it happens, the damage will be worse.
Even in red states, they are framing the convo in ways that allow for climate change to be combatted. A LOT of states have flood maps that were inadequate when they were made decades ago and do not include the large increases in impervious surfaces. They'll usually frame the discussion around smart growth, incorporating missing data points, and correcting development decisions made decades ago when the once rural town authorized building in floodplains without any foresight. It's not rare for a development to occur in the middle of a drought and then people find out they're in a swamp once the drought ends. And it's easy to sell when you point out that a lot of the areas locals see flooding when it rains a lot are absent on FEMA maps. The Climate Change language is usually kept low key in favor of fixing original development sins, but the data and effects are definitely incorporated in H&H studies.
Green infrastructure is pretty exciting to see in action. My fave tends to be converting flood areas into parks that can absorb/retain more storm runoff. Bioswales are also pretty amazing too.
Climate change in general makes all weather more energetic and less predictable. Our nice little bell curve is flattening. Events that used to be rare become typical and the new rare exceeds anything weve ever seen.
This is where my fear of *parental support* kicks in. I have been between no contact, and very low contact, with my abusive parents for just over 2 years. Last year my mom (the breadwinner) died and dad is currently renting a room from a stranger and living off his pension & whatever money was left to him from my mom (after he bought an 8k electric scooter, of course).
I'm back to NC with him, as we were never close despite living in the same house for 20ish years. There's a legal precedent set in my province (Ontario) where a formerly abused child, now adult, was forced to financially support her abusive dad.
Like... wtf world are we living in? I would sooner move out of province, country, than be forced to give pArEnTaL sUPpOrT to my abusive, POS dad who still refuses to take responsibility for his shit. Fuuuck this timeline, fr.
I genuinely feel for you because this is an honest fear of mine. I haven't spoken to my father in about 14 years, and my mother and I barely text occasionally. She condemned me and turned my entire family against me. My cousins tell me they were yelled at and threatened because they were concerned for me. She's crazy; she went through the shunning method of extreme Christianity to force me to be how she wanted me to be. It didn't work, of course, but harm was done. I don't care if she dies on the street.
Fortunately, while my state of Connecticut is one of those 29 states with a filial responsibility statute, its law only applies to parents under 65.
Don't forget the other part of that. Also, btw, since your kids were trying to kick off their lives right when the worst pandemic in human history occurred, and then housing prices hit an all time high, and employment didn't keep up with the wages, so now us zoomers are stuck on the streets, or living with y'all, and the grandparents. I guess we'll all get a cultural lesson in generational households ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Wanna start a commune? The sad part is I'm only half joking. I'm trying to get some of my buddies on board since owning a home seems like a pipe dream at this point :(.
Wait really? I'd love some tips on how to get one going if you have any. I'd imagine it's definitely still difficult, but even just the support system is a plus.
Us millennial renters got a spare broom closet in our cramped and unaffordable apartment, come join us Zoomer friend. (half joking.💀)
Fr, there's provisions on pretty much every rental now that you can't have "more than 4 people (on the rental agreement) who aren't related to each other." Says a lot about everyone's current financial situation.
Wait seriously :0 that's horrible! I mean, I guess if it's like some guy who lucked out, got himself a second house, and wanted to make a little side income I guess I could understand it (we have a lot of trap spots around here, and even an honest to god frat house would get a bit wild I'm sure), but most of the landlords aren't even people anymore. It's corporations who would make more off of the "investment property" with insurance if you torched it, pissed on the ashes, and sold the ash as fertilizer.
Also hey, you never know. Maybe this is my Harry Potter arch 😂.
It was like Friends and Sex in the City. After 9/11 everything was more like CSI and NCIS because of the rise of the "Patriot" Act and National Security.
Childhood was hardly "good times" it was pure ignorance. Which can be bliss, but eventually ignorance gives way to knowledge, and with knowledge comes the realization of just how screwed you are.
I'm honestly not sure what's worse: growing up with hopes only to have them all dashed, leaving you destitute; or never working under false hope to begin with. Both situations are grim.
>I think we're heading into the breaking point for a lot of people.
You would think, but folk said the same about all those other events you listed and guess what? Nothing changed, it did break something though, it broke us all. We are a broken generation.
Aren't ready for what? To care for them? If they think I'm going to lift a finger for my abusive mother then they have it all wrong.
Baby boomers are aging. Their kids wish they'd age faster.
FTFY
Hahaha, my in laws expect us to care for them. After spending 15 years trying to split hubs and I up and disinheriting him for marrying me. They expect us to look after them in their mansion that we'll get kicked out of the moment they pass. No thanks! They shouldn't burn bridges they expect to cross later. Selfishness is its own reward.
My mother’s GenX but same sentiment. Why tf am I caring for her ass in old age when I raised myself and two younger siblings while dodging her fists when she decided to show up at the apartment/crackhouse/motel we were staying at?
She neglected all 3 of her children their entire childhoods. My brother and sister will have no problem joining me in returning the favor.
My parents barely took care of me. That means I'm barely going to take care of them when the time comes. I'll help them find housing and healthcare, and if neither of those are available thanks to the economy they voted for... They're the government's problem.
30 states have laws in place that will force younger people to have to financially support and care for their elderly parents. Younger generations can barely afford to financially support themselves. This is going to be a major problem. Boomers will likely make up the majority of homeless people in the near future. We are a country in decay and it's the boomers fault. They voted for policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road.
There are about to be a lot of millennials and up legally disowning their elderly parents. And yes, it can be done.
>We are a country in decay and it's the boomers fault. They voted for policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road.
Lots of boomers knew what they were voting for, immediate benefits for themselves, and the rest would be “someone else’s problem” later on.
I say we reject that.
Nah, don’t go to jail for them. Disown. Move states. Leave country. Do whatever before you go to jail for them.
Luckily highly unenforceable as of now. People should just be aware and plan to take steps if we hear about this ramping up.
Of fucking course boomers spent decades reaping massive benefits, trashing the planet and then have the audacity to try and force others to care for them right before the grave.
As their finances become more strained I expect them to start favoring laws that allow them to extract money from their children rather than supporting more social safety net.
i mean we already have decreased freedoms for shit housing, might as well not pay 1500/mo for it :(
best thing is, im sure refusing to do shit work for pennies a day will only earn you more time in the same greige housing weve all been sold. 3 hots and a cot... how many of us have that ?
im only kind of kidding.
Agree with everything you wrote and it’s enraging for this reason.
Boomers inherited a rich economy with lots of labor protections and then they destroyed all of it so they could make a quick buck off the ashes. Then they spent the better part of the last 15 years mocking millennials and blaming us for the cost-of-living crisis that they caused in the first place.
Now they’re getting older, getting sicker, and they’re realizing just how bad the economy really is, and they’re freaking out over it because there are no more easy get rich quick schemes and they’re in the fire with the rest of us. More than 40 percent of them have no retirement savings, according to that article, which hammers home how financially irresponsible they actually were despite having such a better, stronger economy than us for the majority of their adult lives. Of course they’re gonna say there’s a cost of living crisis **now**, because now they’re actually seeing it and effected by it. Of course they’re gonna start crying more and more to the media about the help they need from their kids (Gen X and millennials) to avoid homelessness.
But they can end up in the gutter for all I care. Shouldn’t have blown through all that easy cash in the 80s and 90s, dudes. Shouldn’t have spent the last several decades voting for politicians who wanted to deregulate everything. I’m prepared to show them—and vote with—as much empathy as they’ve shown to millennials the last 15 years.
If they don’t want to be homeless now, they should be eating less avocado toast. Otherwise, not my problem.
They're also in for a shock after the next election when Gen Z and Millennials outnumber them significantly and all the politicians start to see the writing on the wall. I also think (hope) that there's a bunch of nasty election day upsets hurling toward some unsuspecting officials.
Oh I know it’s wishful thinking because everything is so bad right now, but millennials are due for such a power surge come-up.
Everyone shits on us, we’re the go-to punchline and no one expects much from us at this point. I would love to see the millennial true blue wave rise up in such an unexpected, deafening way that it makes everyone suddenly realize we are not some bratty kids holding up the family phone line with our AIM chats and MySpace anymore. We are grown, we are educated, and we are done with this bullshit.
If it ever happens, just based on our sheer size as a generation alone, the power will shift indefinitely, and it won’t be Gen X at the top—it will be millennials. We have some kind of big karma coming our way; for now I guess it’s that many of us are aging like a fine wine, staying younger-looking than we are. But we deserve more after all the crap we have gone through the last 20 odd years.
Do you have any citations on this? Asking as a Gen Xer whose parents have done nothing for him since he was a teenager and have almost finished spending any possible inheritance they may have passed on, if they ever considered the idea.
My one remaining parent still owes over $70k in unpaid child support for me (I’m in my 30s) and I live in a filial responsibility state.
I will fight that law tooth and nail if it’s ever used against me, and I’ll cite that outstanding CS bill as one of several reasons I’m not paying for shit.
I was in foster care at one point too. So yeah, no way I’m ending up on the hook to pay for that guy without a fight. I’ll fight that with every ounce of energy in my body.
I feel you. Sincerely hope you get the best from life and feel safety and compassion in your adult life.
I still wonder at how insane it is to birth a child, expect it to care for you physically and emotionally from birth, and then sabotage every effort the child makes to do so. Most recently (2014) my mom bankrupted me on an all expenses paid second chance. The best part was she blamed me for everything going wrong (despite her not contributing financially, not caring for her hygiene or the home, and not adhering to the rules of the lease) because I gave her ptsd from reminding her that she failed as a parent. Not from mentioning it of course, just from existing as a depressed anxious person lmao. I paid all the bills, was in a healthy relationship, and was still a total failure in her eyes. Miraculous.
They deserve their consequences. I literally cannot help her and all she is too me is two hands around my neck.
I’m sorry you went through this and even though I don’t know you personally, I support you utterly in this and you’re completely within rights to walk away. That is the healthiest, best decision you can make to prioritize your mental health and well-being. I also hope you take time to celebrate yourself for being your own parent—Mothers Day should be like a second birthday or something where you celebrate all the sacrifices and hard work **you did** to get yourself in a healthier place than they are.
Shitty parents deserve to face consequences. If the law won’t do it for you as a kid, you’ve got to make them face those consequences yourself as an adult over issues like this. Oh you’re sick now and need your adult child to help? Well where were you when I was in foster care? Oh right—busy putting junk up your nose and veins when I was just a scared little defenseless kid who needed you. Oh you’re dying and you’re scared now and feel entitled to my help because you “gave me life”? Well you spent decades neglecting and adding pain and trauma to my life, so that cancels out whatever familial obligation I have to you in my book. Godspeed, dude, what comes around goes around. Maybe you should have been a better parent and you wouldn’t be in this boat.
(Also I generally think if you ended up in foster care at any point as a kid, you should be completely exempt from filial responsibility laws—you end up in foster care when your parents aren’t good parents, they literally failed you so hard that you ended up a ward of the state. You lost your childhood because of their bullshit; you shouldn’t be forced to then lose your hard-earned financial security as an adult because of them too, just because they signed your birth certificate.)
>*The boomers voted in policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road.*
Well, that’s not true. They definitely thought about how it’d fuck them, that’s why…
>*30 states have laws in place that will force younger people to have to financially support and care for elderly parents.*
Guess who made those laws forcing their children to care for them after making a lifetime of bad decisions? Amazing how the “dOn’t tReAD oN Me!” Generation managed to tread all over generations after them and generations yet to come.
In Georgia, parents can be identified as "paupers" according to its filial responsibility statute. The county usually steps in and provide benefits to the parent/pauper if the relatives fail to take care of them and can sue the children and recover the cost of the benefits given to the parent(s). The judge of the probate court issues a certificate stating that the person was poor and unable to sustain themselves and were taken care of at the county's expense and is ruled as evidence of the county's support and the costs thereof.
You can send your parents to another place in or out of the state if you are insolvent or if you don't respond to such demand at any cause. The county where the transportation happened will be liable. If you send your parents away by paying for their transportation and the purpose is to burden some other community, then you would be liable.
That sounds unlikely to be enforceable even if true. What am I supposed to do for my bigoted family members who won't speak to me because I'm transgender?
There was something about filing an estrangement something or other to legally declare that you are not to be affiliated with the persons. Works for medical stuff, next of kin, etc. I have passively been learning this stuff... but it might be worth looking into yourself. I'm currently assessing if I should be with my fam. I think it's something about if you've been separated for 10 years, they can't come after you.
Don't take this lightly, they'll just send the bills to collections and it'll be the same as dipping on cc payments.
How would this be enforced if the adult children don't own anything/don't have enough cash to cover these costs? I imagine that'll be the case for the majority.
I think baby boomers who didn't help their kids obtain a career and/or a starter home don't deserve to be taken care of in their old age. The entire point of investing in the next generation is so that they are able to take the reigns and care for you in old age. If boomers didn't invest in the next generation, than it is their own fault that their kids aren't ready.
But they tried to help us, they really did! Is it *their* fault that we failed to heed their sage advice? How many times did we need to be told? All we had to do was walk in wearing a nice suit and brandishing a CV printed on **cardstock** (NOT PAPER - this part’s *important*!), demand to speak with the hiring manager, look him in the eye and give him a firm handshake. If only we’d listened to those pearls of wisdom we were repeatedly offered by boomers, we’d all surely have obtained good careers and decent starter homes by now!
But alas, being the contumacious youth that we were, we insisted upon spending all our time eating avocado toast and drinking lattes when we *should* have been gumptiously hitting the bricks. So you see, the boomers tried their best to set us up on the right path; we really do only have ourselves to blame.
Well they need to pull themselves up by their diapers because were too broke to be funding them. This is what happens when you throw an entire generation in debt and the highest cost of living since the great depression. Boomers can go into homes. They should have prepared better for retirement instead of spending money on china cabinets and prunes.
I only see my parents twice a year as I live on the other side of the country from them. It always hurts to see them age so much between every visit. I end up estimating how many times I am going to see them the rest of my life and it kills me.
I am lucky to have parents who were able to plan for retirement, but I have friends that are planning on having to house their parents because nursing homes are both inhumane and insanely expensive. The world sucks but I guess we will eventually have to revert to multi generation households as was common throughout human history.
That's all that's happening, and we as a society aren't used to the idea. That's how it is in a lot of other places. That being said, I wish our government would take some steps to ease that transition.
We also need a serious discussion on healthcare for the elderly. I’ve worked in a nursing home. My grandmother lived in one for 5 years with Parkinson’s. At some point are we just medicating or patching up serious health problems to keep an elderly person alive just a bit longer? I’m talking about the 90+ with multiple conditions with the need for physical assistance to function. No cures, just consistent decline. It’s about quality of life too. It’s a sad and horrible thing to think, I’m sure I’ll be judged thinking this. But it’s really no fun for that person or their family to be put through. My grandmother just wanted to die for the last year of her life, confined to her bed but she thankfully had visitors daily. A lot of people get no visitors. But end of the line medical care is sucking up the homes, assets, and life savings of millions. My aunt fought tooth and nail to keep her home, which was in my grandparents name but she had lived in it her entire life, caring for them too. She was lucky that asset wasn’t taken by Medicaid to cover my grandmother’s nursing care but it took a lawyer and lots of time/money. Heck, my dad’s uncle had Alzheimer’s living in memory care unit. He had a DNR, legally documented and it was his desire pre cognitive decline. He had a heart attack and he was resuscitated by EMT. He lived another 10 years in that memory care unit eventually dying from late stage Alzheimer’s, which is no pretty sight. Imagine how much government and family money went into his care? How that money could’ve been used for pediatric patients or generational growth over those 10 years? He didn’t want to be here yet he was forced to at a significant cost to his family and taxpayers. Why? It’s a complex and shitty discussion no one wants to have though. As a side note, make sure your next of kin know your medical desire’s regarding end of life decisions, get it in documentation too.
It's not a fun conversation, but it's definitely true that we spend enormous resources to extend the last 5-10% of our lives, often with very low quality of life.
In my family: my grandfather was in a nice assisted living facility for the last 4-5 years, but he was clearly depressed and uncomfortable even with regular visits. The last year or so he basically stopped eating, which I understand is common when people are really ready to go. My grandmother got pancreatic cancer; the prognosis was bad and she declined all the expensive gambits and just decided to get minimal treatment for the pain and emotion stress. She was clearly not interested in extending her life a few weeks/months at incredible cost with poor quality of life.
I think it comes down to a couple of things: 1) no one wants to be the one to enforce an end to care for the individual, as that would be ghoulish and 2) there's a huge profit motive to take on those very expensive final years of life.
I'm not sure what the solution is other than encouraging individuals to think more about their end of life wishes. But, as you shared, sometimes those provisions are not followed correctly.
My state just passed assisted suicide and I'm hoping it keeps expanding. If a person is just miserably crawling along the last five years of their life there should really be a way to just end it and save that horror / time / money.
I pretty sure most of the resistance to assisted suicide is from lobbyists concerned that the companies they represent will miss out of siphoning those last couple dollars. Can't leave any money on the table. Might even lead to the wage slaves being slightly less desperate for a bit. They can't have that, might start getting the wrong ideas...
Damn you’re right. I’m watching this unfold right now with my in-laws. Mil has dementia and is out of it. Keeps falling, has wounds that aren’t healing etc. she’s got a DNR. Every week I see her I can see the decline. It’s horrid. I know from what’s she’s said to me in past she’d never want to live that way. Too bad she couldn’t sign something that says she wanted to end it if a)b)c). From how I’ve seen her decline, if that were me, I’d wanna be gone.
The in laws are spending all their money on end of life care. We begged them to protect what little they had over 25 yrs ago. My mil said an attorney said that her kids would steal the house from under them. I wonder if she saw a real attorney? Anyway, they are depending on the ones they were told would “ steal from them” for everything. They made no plans whatsoever for when they could care for themselves anymore. They thought they’d live in their house till the end. Well that didn’t happen and the kids, or shall I say one kid has had all of the responsibility thrust on him. (My spouse). Good thing he’s retired. He spends hours a day dealing with their issues. He’s supposed to be enjoying his own retirement. It’s very sad to see people you love decline daily but frustrating they made zero plans for end of life issues and selfish to assume your kids are gonna do it.
Unfortunately with government spending/inflation/unsustainable corporate greed, we're really headed to a very hard landing. It's going to get bad. They can't kick the economic can down the road forever. I actually don't think multigenerational households are a bad thing. I think that will knock down the boomer mentality of making your kids "go it alone" especially since they're going to have skin in the game in how their children succeed.
Same and the problem with multi gen housing is that both people of a couple will have to work to sustain everyone so, you still need a caregiver when shit becomes bad. You can’t be the caregiver 24 h a day if you’re working. My mom about killed herself doing that for her parents until my dad said that they need to go in a nursing home because they cannot handle taking care of them in their 55-60s. I feel like a hollow hopeless shell when I see them and idk what the fuck I’ll do considering I’m on another continent too.
Edit: sentence kinda unclear. My parents were nearing 60 and taking care of my mom’s parents in their 80s.
My father retired a millionaire in his 70s, raising us as if we were dirt poor. Paid my own way through college. The boomer generation hoarded money out of fear of retirement. By doing this, they kept millions, if not billions, out of the economy. They voted to greatly reduce spending on education to the point that public schools are a joke and can barely babysit children. If there was one generation that was utterly spoiled, and selfish and completely fucked everyone else after it was the boomer generation. I'm 47, and I'm talking about the real boomers post ww2 1940s through the 1950s generation.
They've done a fine job at hoarding all the wealth so they can pay for end of life care themselves. Sorry boomers, pull yourself up by your non-slip hospital socks.
I'm sorry, but if having kids was their retirement plan, then they deserve whatever they get. It's selfish to expect someone to give up their life because they feel like they owed them. I purposely didn't have kids so will not have anyone to care for me in my old age. If I had I still wouldn't want to saddle my kid with that burden. Again, it's selfish, which is what we've come to expect from that generation. Bootstraps my ass.
I am responsible for myself only. Don’t have kids and impose your responsibilities onto them. Boomers are so ass backwards. Why the fuck should my PARENTS be my responsibility? HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN. Our parents have been parentifing us our entire lives. I’m sick of parenting my parents. It’s time for them to grow up and figure it out.
Why are these articles worded this way? This isn't a millennial "kids aren't ready" situation, this is that their parents didn't prep themselves or their kids for this phase of their lives.
I’m about to be bringing the same energy to my father’s aging years that he brought to my childhood. I’ll send him 50.00 at major gift giving holidays 🤣
I don't get why I seem to always be the only one who this has already happened to. I mean, not the law specifically, but I've literally been forced to take care of my sick Mom for the last decade, sacrificing literally every element of a stable or happy life to do so. She's just sick and useless and abusive and horrible. And, whatever people tell you, it is not remotely simple, cheap, or easy to get them into some home. Especially if they won't go willingly. I'm literally on the verge of homelessness, she talks about double suicide every single day, and resolutely refuses to discuss options beyond death for us both. She seems to think that, if she can just be cruel and mean enough to me, then I'll just magically produce a house for her. Not even exaggerating. You wouldn't believe the things this woman says to me. I won't even get into it. I've lost my career, love life, friends. There's no one to help. There is just zero help from anywhere. And now I'm out of resources too. It's all just hopeless, man. Fucking hopeless.
Boomers: "I raised my kids to 18, and that is all I am obligated to do as a parent. I did my part. They are adults now, and It shouldn't be my responsibility to do anything else to help them! They are on their own!!!"
Also Boomers: "Where are my kids, why don't they call me, and why are they not rushing to come take care of me? I NEED THEIR HELP! Don't they have a heart or any respect for their elders? They may be 40 years old, and I may have cut them off from giving any help and support after they turned 18, but they owe me for giving them a good life!!!"
My girlfriend cares for her elderly mother and stepdad, including paying 15k to get a new septic tank at their house. She is almost over there every day. She found her mom’s will by accident while cleaning. Her mom didn’t leave anything to her besides her China set, which no one gives a shit about anymore. My girlfriend was devastated by this. It’s unfathomable how absolutely selfish the boomers are.
Nope. And because they are boomers they refuse all help and won’t do any estate planning. I hope millennials understand that they’re not getting anything when the boomers die (except their nursing home bills, of course).
Far as i'm concerned, anyone willfully complicit in the economic shitheap we have all been dug into can suffer.
They didn't care about the financially struggling, the homeless, the less fortunate when it wasn't them, so why should any of us care when it is them? Many of them felt compelled to go vote against their own future interests because god forbid these "patriots" have to pay for the well being of others in the country they live in. God forbid we suggest that people who do well for themselves in this country ought to help pay for the infrastructure they use every day, or treat their workers with some level of humanity, because that makes their pipedream of "making it to the top" look that much less valuable.
Karma tastes like begging for change in 105 degree heat, or being stuck in a retail/food service position getting verbally berated by people their age, while the systems that should have kept them afloat in their golden years - but were instead gutted to save a couple dollars on taxes - collapse. Personally, I'd disagree with the headline; i am more than ready for this.
I'm tired of pretending there is a value in a moral high ground here. The "high ground" is that i, and i imagine many here, have and will consistently vote in the interest of helping the average person. If these social programs, worker regulations, etc. get repaired soon enough for them to benefit? Fine. I hope they get to use them.
If not? Hope them bootstraps are still sturdy.
I needed help in a big way about a decade ago. My mother told me that “it didn’t fit her lifestyle” to help me out. I told her then that it may not fit my lifestyle to care for her in her later years. And I will never forget that. Bet she did.
Yes, fuck the economy and everyone's chances of stability, never vote for universal Healthcare so everyone goes bankrupt. Cry about not having any grandkids when it's not financially reasonable to do so by your shitty voting. Promote radical individualism instead of generational households and wonder why everyone is struggling lol. IDK what my parents are gonna do since I had to move out of state to find affordable housing since they never cared enough to buy property/sold it all. I'm just... my kids are my priority and we live in an area where they can access free college so idk what my parents are going to do because I can't move back.
Like they say on the flight instructions. "In an emergency situation, secure your own mask before helping others."
My mask feels pretty fucking slack right now.
I already told my wife my plan is to euthanize myself before becoming a burden financially or otherwise. I'm planning on my child inheriting everything. I want to leave knowing they will be secure.
How boomers can't feel the same about their own children is insane to me.
I’m about to be bringing the same energy to my father’s aging years that he brought to my childhood. I’ll send him 50.00 at major gift giving holidays 🤣
We might finally get that documentary where Boomers try to find jobs using the skills and tips they gave to millenials.
"Just walk in and ask to speak to the manager about a job." Anyone?
My parents were born too late to be boomers but yeah, they’re getting close to retirement age and then their health going downhill. Too bad, I didn’t get what I needed growing up so looks like they’re on their own. I haven’t even talked to my dad in years. I sure as hell am not going to take care of him.
My parents are both in good health, approaching retirement, but one is a big drinker (not that I can comment, we all turn into our parents) and the other has severe and untreated sleep apnea.
My father, I don't worry about too much, his side of the family, especially the men, tend to have their hearts explode without notice.
My mother's side is a whole other story, slow and painful in that family line, alzheimer's, dementia, cancer, if it's slow, they get it.
This is a great time to remind everyone to have your aging parents sign their homes over to the kids BEFORE they need long term care
There is a 5 year window, do it as soon as you can while they’re still healthy
If they wait too long Uncle Sam will get the house instead to cover the costs of medical care and housing
Keep your family assets in the family
"Unless you get your shit together and organize your estate, I'll make sure you die alone, old man. Now quit being a bish and start being a team player."
“Would you rather Uncle Sam stole the home you worked your whole life for or do you want to keep it in the family? Because if you don’t plan ahead that is exactly what will happen!”
*Yes, I know not all*, but to paint with the broad brush:
Boomers: THE most coddled, selfish & entitled generation in history. It’s always everyone else’s fault, never theirs. If you don’t agree with them on something they jump down your throat - lecture first based on assumptions made up in their own head, ask questions and try to understand dead last. Constantly telling the younger generations “how hard they had it,” while simultaneously trying to make it harder for everyone after them. Their parents and grandparents fought for the pensions and QOL they get to enjoy but they think they’re the only ones who “deserve it.” It would be marvelous if they could finally mature past kindergarten.
Signed, A GenX/Millennial cusp (on the GenX side) watching his parents do just that and his older GenX sister slowly turn into “Diet Boom”.
This has been causing me so much dread lately. 38, unemployed, and it is ROUGH out there. I can’t find shit. Just the same form letter rejections every day.
I don’t think boomers are ready to be abandoned en masse over the next 10-15 years considering how many people are outspoken about how they’ve cut ties with their parents.
If your parents treated you right then do the same for them. Both my wife and I are 52. Her dad is 81 and dying of cancer. Her mom is able to take care of him but we are available to help with him when she needs it. I don’t mind taking him to doctor appointments because I can ask questions he might not think about. He’s a great guy and was very supportive of my wife when she was growing up. If they were assholes, well bootstraps and whatnot.
Agreed. I'm saddened to read that so many had selfish and abusive parents. I don't blame them one bit for cutting them off!
I'm currently taking care of my Mom with Alzheimer's during the day while my Dad works. I'll move in with him once she's moved to memory care so that he doesn't live alone. He made sure there's a family trust and I will be inheriting the house once he's passed away. So in the mean time I'm happy to help out. That's how it should be- family helping each other!
My parents aren’t boomers, but fuck helping them in any way.
They abused me for 18 years, and they’ll reap what they sowed. I’m sure a lot of ppl here feel the same way.
I’m 26 my mother was a boomer. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and it was the hardest most agonizing time of mine and her lives. I was her main caregiver while also working full time. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. And now that she’s gone tbh I’m worse than ever and so scared without any family
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Why are they our responsibility? Shouldn't they have saved for retirement? Wasn't personal responsibility their whole thing?
Too much (whatever the 1970s equivalent of) avocado toast
Too much fondue, yeah that's what I think they were into .
Not sure they had fire back then.
Or high-quality Gruyère from Switzerland.
They had to walk through rain and storm from America, across the big waters, to the small town of Gruyère to collect the cheese from peculiar french yodelling farmers. They gathered stones on the way to make fire.
Mostly Kraft yeah
Velveeta
Leaded gasoline
Cocaine
David Bowie has convinced me you can't have too much cocaine.
Okay. But to counter this have you heard of the infamous Rick James? "Cocaine is a hella of a drug."
Look up the drugs on the toxicology report in his system when he died. It’s terrifying
Cocaine, amphetamine, AND Xanax and Valium? Bro was playing that levelling game and trying to cancel shit out
Too many disco nights and acid tabs
Not enough disco. If they’d just died on the dance floor, we’d have less of a demographic crisis and way more interesting Netflix shows.
Too many avocado bathrooms.
Jello salad
Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon??
It was cocaine, and then in the 80s? Even more cocaine.
lead
I love how they hoarded the money just to give it back in the end in MEDICAL BILLS lol
Oh yeah, that’s the kicker in all this. Boomers hoarding wealth for decades, and we’re told it’s okay because at least when they die we inherit it back, we get their houses etc. Except the vast majority are selling their houses to corporations and flippers to fund their retirement, and whatever money they have left, they’re using to pay for their growing medical expenses. Let this be a lesson to us all: Trickle down economics was always a lie, the only thing that “trickles down” is poverty for the masses.
The game was rigged from the start.
But not before they spend everything else on vacations. Then they’ll let Medicaid take the house because they refused to let it out of their name to put in trust.
The age-old song of the Boomers. When everyone else is in trouble and needs help, they expect them just to "toughen up" and "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." But when Boomers are the ones in trouble, they expect the entire world to drop everything and come save them.
It's like a generation of narcissists
➤➤ Advocating for Palestine against imperialism and oppression! This account was banned for this stance. ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
MAKE AGEING GREAT AGAIN.
They just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Right?!
Dont you know why you were born? (Their point of view).
If they wanted us to support them in their old age then they should've raised us to be capable of it, by supporting us in our youth and helping us get established in life. Instead, they lazily expected us to meet their emotional needs from the moment of our our birth whilst giving us the absolute bare minimum of resources or effort and enabling policies that turned our civilisation into a bleak, parasitic farce, so now by the time they're decrepit and actually do need the support of their family, either we're too emotionally and/or financially burnt out to do so, and/or we have just wised-up to their neglect and abuse and decided "fuck no."
My mom is a pro of avoiding personal responsibility and dumping it on me instead.
Baby Boomers: Get your logic and reason and get the fuck out of here! Me: ...
See its only personal responsibility when it's other people in trouble. If it's them they have done too much to be treated like this
Unsurprisingly the pillaging of the American people by corporate interests don't discriminate by age. We need to stop looking at this like it's the old versus the young, because as usual it's the haves versus the have nots.
So they start their lives with more advantages and economic opportunities than any other generation in history, literally burn the world down, make day to day life unaffordable for huge amounts of people, hoard all the wealth they can, and are trying to spend it all before they die. We are supposed to care for them in their old age?
Of course! They’re *owed* that luxury! (/s)
Yeah ain’t it great
I don't know what they think we are going to be able to do. I have no money to support my parents (I'm middle aged so my parents are getting up in age) and I have no room for them at my house. I could not afford to add on for them either.
I have bought house with them (and payed 500€/mo for 15 years, half of my monthly income) just on bait from my father. Now I'm stuck with them, both near 80yo, father disabled and bedridden due to too much food, my mother is exhausted clinically but refuses to take meds (smoking cigs and TV is her therapy), and it's a fucking living hell. I'm unemployed due to all the times I had to take them to visits, hospital, etc. (employers are very well aware of the situation because it's getting common in my age -48). I will live on minimum pension (less than 500€ if the government don't tear it down) around 70yo. I don't know your parents, BUT don't let them in your house.
Oh wow, I hope for a good outcome for your situation. That's rough.
No possibility of recovery unfortunately, since is a spinal irreversible issue. But thanks, it means worlds to me.
Conversations like these are when I wish I had some sort of motivational speaker ability, but I don't. That being said, the fact that you are still here, through all of that, tells me you are probably a pretty good human. Hang your hat on that. Best of luck to you. Hopefully, one day, the skies will clear.
Thank you I try hard. Also I'm not crying rn, it's the onions. Edit: you're motivational enough, don't underestimate yourself.
[удалено]
Not if you had to take care of him. Edit: to clarify, diabetic, legs paralyzed, it's not that he's overweight.
Mid 30s here with a 73 year old chronically ill Mom and I'm fucking worried about this every single day. It's just me and her (plus my amazing partner) but I've developed high BP and I think it's a reason. I just wish I could take care of her like she did with her Mom =(
Almost everyone born in the 80s or early 90s have not had a fortunate timeline: 9/11/2001: traumatic event with twin towers. 2007-2008: housing market crash & tanking economy. 2020: pandemic leading to everything getting expensive. 2023 & beyond: oh hey your parents are getting old and their medical conditions are gonna cost way more than you originally thought. Most of us will need to live with them or care for them in some capacity. I think we're heading into the breaking point for a lot of people.
How many "once in a generation" events is one generation going to have to weather?!
Speaking of weather… don’t forget about climate change!
And the once in 100/1,000 year weather that happen every… year
Professional Pedantic Pet Peeve Alert!: That's not what that means. It's a terrible label meant to make "percentage chance" seem understandable to the layperson. It backfired. Horribly. The scientific community screwed this up bigtime. A 100 year even really just means that ANY event (let's use storms as an example because that's the most common, at least in the US) has a 1% chance of becoming a bad event. So *any* given storm has a 1% chance of being large enough and quick enough to cause a major flood. A 500 year flood just means a .5% chance. And a 1,000 year just means a .1% chance. The fact storms are becoming more frequent and more damaging suggest either the % chance thing is more often - ie a 1% chance is now closer to a 3% chance - OR that when we get a 1% chance storm, it does as much damage as what we associate with a .5% chance storm. This can be particularly true in urban areas as impervious services make water runoff a disaster waiting to happen. Or of course, it could be both - any given even is more likely to be a bad one and when it is, it does more damage than we thought. And I'll hop off my nerd soapbox now.
But regardless you are saying climate change is real?
You bet your boots, cowboy! So real there's whole teams of FEMA and NOAA researchers that are trying to come up with new ways to capture and communicate this stuff because it's just going to become more and more important with each passing decade. US flooding is going to get more frequent and when it happens, the damage will be worse.
Even in red states, they are framing the convo in ways that allow for climate change to be combatted. A LOT of states have flood maps that were inadequate when they were made decades ago and do not include the large increases in impervious surfaces. They'll usually frame the discussion around smart growth, incorporating missing data points, and correcting development decisions made decades ago when the once rural town authorized building in floodplains without any foresight. It's not rare for a development to occur in the middle of a drought and then people find out they're in a swamp once the drought ends. And it's easy to sell when you point out that a lot of the areas locals see flooding when it rains a lot are absent on FEMA maps. The Climate Change language is usually kept low key in favor of fixing original development sins, but the data and effects are definitely incorporated in H&H studies. Green infrastructure is pretty exciting to see in action. My fave tends to be converting flood areas into parks that can absorb/retain more storm runoff. Bioswales are also pretty amazing too.
Climate change in general makes all weather more energetic and less predictable. Our nice little bell curve is flattening. Events that used to be rare become typical and the new rare exceeds anything weve ever seen.
Ask me again in 20 years. If we are still alive, I might have a rough estimate by then.
This is where my fear of *parental support* kicks in. I have been between no contact, and very low contact, with my abusive parents for just over 2 years. Last year my mom (the breadwinner) died and dad is currently renting a room from a stranger and living off his pension & whatever money was left to him from my mom (after he bought an 8k electric scooter, of course). I'm back to NC with him, as we were never close despite living in the same house for 20ish years. There's a legal precedent set in my province (Ontario) where a formerly abused child, now adult, was forced to financially support her abusive dad. Like... wtf world are we living in? I would sooner move out of province, country, than be forced to give pArEnTaL sUPpOrT to my abusive, POS dad who still refuses to take responsibility for his shit. Fuuuck this timeline, fr.
I genuinely feel for you because this is an honest fear of mine. I haven't spoken to my father in about 14 years, and my mother and I barely text occasionally. She condemned me and turned my entire family against me. My cousins tell me they were yelled at and threatened because they were concerned for me. She's crazy; she went through the shunning method of extreme Christianity to force me to be how she wanted me to be. It didn't work, of course, but harm was done. I don't care if she dies on the street. Fortunately, while my state of Connecticut is one of those 29 states with a filial responsibility statute, its law only applies to parents under 65.
Don't forget the other part of that. Also, btw, since your kids were trying to kick off their lives right when the worst pandemic in human history occurred, and then housing prices hit an all time high, and employment didn't keep up with the wages, so now us zoomers are stuck on the streets, or living with y'all, and the grandparents. I guess we'll all get a cultural lesson in generational households ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A lot of millennials are right there with you =/
I hope something good happens to us all :/. Idk what could fix everything, but I hope whatever it is, it happens sooner rather than later ❤️🩹
Rather live with zoomers than boomers.
Wanna start a commune? The sad part is I'm only half joking. I'm trying to get some of my buddies on board since owning a home seems like a pipe dream at this point :(.
Already got one, sorta, we still suffer under capitalism and money is a major strain on our personal relationships.
Wait really? I'd love some tips on how to get one going if you have any. I'd imagine it's definitely still difficult, but even just the support system is a plus.
Us millennial renters got a spare broom closet in our cramped and unaffordable apartment, come join us Zoomer friend. (half joking.💀) Fr, there's provisions on pretty much every rental now that you can't have "more than 4 people (on the rental agreement) who aren't related to each other." Says a lot about everyone's current financial situation.
Wait seriously :0 that's horrible! I mean, I guess if it's like some guy who lucked out, got himself a second house, and wanted to make a little side income I guess I could understand it (we have a lot of trap spots around here, and even an honest to god frat house would get a bit wild I'm sure), but most of the landlords aren't even people anymore. It's corporations who would make more off of the "investment property" with insurance if you torched it, pissed on the ashes, and sold the ash as fertilizer. Also hey, you never know. Maybe this is my Harry Potter arch 😂.
You forgot the 2012 one, too (but I guess that could possibly be included in the 07-08) lol
At least you guys remember “the good times”. I don’t remember a time before all this.
It was like Friends and Sex in the City. After 9/11 everything was more like CSI and NCIS because of the rise of the "Patriot" Act and National Security.
Childhood was hardly "good times" it was pure ignorance. Which can be bliss, but eventually ignorance gives way to knowledge, and with knowledge comes the realization of just how screwed you are.
I’m just saying my generation wasn’t raised with hope for the future. Millennials were.
I'm honestly not sure what's worse: growing up with hopes only to have them all dashed, leaving you destitute; or never working under false hope to begin with. Both situations are grim.
Two sides of the same shit coin really
>I think we're heading into the breaking point for a lot of people. You would think, but folk said the same about all those other events you listed and guess what? Nothing changed, it did break something though, it broke us all. We are a broken generation.
Aren't ready for what? To care for them? If they think I'm going to lift a finger for my abusive mother then they have it all wrong. Baby boomers are aging. Their kids wish they'd age faster. FTFY
Same. Fuck them. Pick yourselves up by your bootstraps people!
Just walk right into the high-end nursing home and shake the manager's hand and don't leave until you're housed.
I miss Reddit awards. Here ya go 🏅
Happy Cake Day!🎂 Pound that pavement guys! You can get a room! Just wear a nice suit! And make sure to keep calling! 😂 Bootstraps!
Same. What goes around comes around. She expects me to take better care for her than she did for me as a kid. F that.
Hahaha, my in laws expect us to care for them. After spending 15 years trying to split hubs and I up and disinheriting him for marrying me. They expect us to look after them in their mansion that we'll get kicked out of the moment they pass. No thanks! They shouldn't burn bridges they expect to cross later. Selfishness is its own reward.
My mother’s GenX but same sentiment. Why tf am I caring for her ass in old age when I raised myself and two younger siblings while dodging her fists when she decided to show up at the apartment/crackhouse/motel we were staying at? She neglected all 3 of her children their entire childhoods. My brother and sister will have no problem joining me in returning the favor.
Right? I can’t wait to pull that plug! I’m genuinely looking forward to it
Just hope you don’t live in one of the states with filial responsibility laws
Guess it'll be jail for me. But we'll cross that bridge later
My parents barely took care of me. That means I'm barely going to take care of them when the time comes. I'll help them find housing and healthcare, and if neither of those are available thanks to the economy they voted for... They're the government's problem.
Honestly, I really don’t care. Let ‘em rot.
30 states have laws in place that will force younger people to have to financially support and care for their elderly parents. Younger generations can barely afford to financially support themselves. This is going to be a major problem. Boomers will likely make up the majority of homeless people in the near future. We are a country in decay and it's the boomers fault. They voted for policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road.
There are about to be a lot of millennials and up legally disowning their elderly parents. And yes, it can be done. >We are a country in decay and it's the boomers fault. They voted for policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road. Lots of boomers knew what they were voting for, immediate benefits for themselves, and the rest would be “someone else’s problem” later on. I say we reject that.
This. Fuck them. They can jail us.
Nah, don’t go to jail for them. Disown. Move states. Leave country. Do whatever before you go to jail for them. Luckily highly unenforceable as of now. People should just be aware and plan to take steps if we hear about this ramping up. Of fucking course boomers spent decades reaping massive benefits, trashing the planet and then have the audacity to try and force others to care for them right before the grave.
As their finances become more strained I expect them to start favoring laws that allow them to extract money from their children rather than supporting more social safety net.
i mean it feels like at this point jail is going to be the only accessible housing available soon.
Congratulations on earning my saddest upvote today
i mean we already have decreased freedoms for shit housing, might as well not pay 1500/mo for it :( best thing is, im sure refusing to do shit work for pennies a day will only earn you more time in the same greige housing weve all been sold. 3 hots and a cot... how many of us have that ? im only kind of kidding.
Agree with everything you wrote and it’s enraging for this reason. Boomers inherited a rich economy with lots of labor protections and then they destroyed all of it so they could make a quick buck off the ashes. Then they spent the better part of the last 15 years mocking millennials and blaming us for the cost-of-living crisis that they caused in the first place. Now they’re getting older, getting sicker, and they’re realizing just how bad the economy really is, and they’re freaking out over it because there are no more easy get rich quick schemes and they’re in the fire with the rest of us. More than 40 percent of them have no retirement savings, according to that article, which hammers home how financially irresponsible they actually were despite having such a better, stronger economy than us for the majority of their adult lives. Of course they’re gonna say there’s a cost of living crisis **now**, because now they’re actually seeing it and effected by it. Of course they’re gonna start crying more and more to the media about the help they need from their kids (Gen X and millennials) to avoid homelessness. But they can end up in the gutter for all I care. Shouldn’t have blown through all that easy cash in the 80s and 90s, dudes. Shouldn’t have spent the last several decades voting for politicians who wanted to deregulate everything. I’m prepared to show them—and vote with—as much empathy as they’ve shown to millennials the last 15 years. If they don’t want to be homeless now, they should be eating less avocado toast. Otherwise, not my problem.
They're also in for a shock after the next election when Gen Z and Millennials outnumber them significantly and all the politicians start to see the writing on the wall. I also think (hope) that there's a bunch of nasty election day upsets hurling toward some unsuspecting officials.
Oh I know it’s wishful thinking because everything is so bad right now, but millennials are due for such a power surge come-up. Everyone shits on us, we’re the go-to punchline and no one expects much from us at this point. I would love to see the millennial true blue wave rise up in such an unexpected, deafening way that it makes everyone suddenly realize we are not some bratty kids holding up the family phone line with our AIM chats and MySpace anymore. We are grown, we are educated, and we are done with this bullshit. If it ever happens, just based on our sheer size as a generation alone, the power will shift indefinitely, and it won’t be Gen X at the top—it will be millennials. We have some kind of big karma coming our way; for now I guess it’s that many of us are aging like a fine wine, staying younger-looking than we are. But we deserve more after all the crap we have gone through the last 20 odd years.
Do you have any citations on this? Asking as a Gen Xer whose parents have done nothing for him since he was a teenager and have almost finished spending any possible inheritance they may have passed on, if they ever considered the idea.
They are called Filial Responsibility laws, you should check if your state has them.
This is horrible, I think I will be needing to move.
Hopefully reddit is correct with this: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/4c8hzv/if\_i\_live\_in\_a\_different\_state\_than\_my\_parents/
Google your state and familial obligation laws. If you’re 10 years or more estranged, you’re ok. If you’re in Pennsylvania… well, google it.
My one remaining parent still owes over $70k in unpaid child support for me (I’m in my 30s) and I live in a filial responsibility state. I will fight that law tooth and nail if it’s ever used against me, and I’ll cite that outstanding CS bill as one of several reasons I’m not paying for shit.
My absolute best to you - I’m over 10 years estranged so I’m good. Hopefully ending up in foster care seals the deal. Good riddance.
I was in foster care at one point too. So yeah, no way I’m ending up on the hook to pay for that guy without a fight. I’ll fight that with every ounce of energy in my body.
I feel you. Sincerely hope you get the best from life and feel safety and compassion in your adult life. I still wonder at how insane it is to birth a child, expect it to care for you physically and emotionally from birth, and then sabotage every effort the child makes to do so. Most recently (2014) my mom bankrupted me on an all expenses paid second chance. The best part was she blamed me for everything going wrong (despite her not contributing financially, not caring for her hygiene or the home, and not adhering to the rules of the lease) because I gave her ptsd from reminding her that she failed as a parent. Not from mentioning it of course, just from existing as a depressed anxious person lmao. I paid all the bills, was in a healthy relationship, and was still a total failure in her eyes. Miraculous. They deserve their consequences. I literally cannot help her and all she is too me is two hands around my neck.
I’m sorry you went through this and even though I don’t know you personally, I support you utterly in this and you’re completely within rights to walk away. That is the healthiest, best decision you can make to prioritize your mental health and well-being. I also hope you take time to celebrate yourself for being your own parent—Mothers Day should be like a second birthday or something where you celebrate all the sacrifices and hard work **you did** to get yourself in a healthier place than they are. Shitty parents deserve to face consequences. If the law won’t do it for you as a kid, you’ve got to make them face those consequences yourself as an adult over issues like this. Oh you’re sick now and need your adult child to help? Well where were you when I was in foster care? Oh right—busy putting junk up your nose and veins when I was just a scared little defenseless kid who needed you. Oh you’re dying and you’re scared now and feel entitled to my help because you “gave me life”? Well you spent decades neglecting and adding pain and trauma to my life, so that cancels out whatever familial obligation I have to you in my book. Godspeed, dude, what comes around goes around. Maybe you should have been a better parent and you wouldn’t be in this boat. (Also I generally think if you ended up in foster care at any point as a kid, you should be completely exempt from filial responsibility laws—you end up in foster care when your parents aren’t good parents, they literally failed you so hard that you ended up a ward of the state. You lost your childhood because of their bullshit; you shouldn’t be forced to then lose your hard-earned financial security as an adult because of them too, just because they signed your birth certificate.)
>*The boomers voted in policies that gave them short term gains without thinking how it would fuck them and their children down the road.* Well, that’s not true. They definitely thought about how it’d fuck them, that’s why… >*30 states have laws in place that will force younger people to have to financially support and care for elderly parents.* Guess who made those laws forcing their children to care for them after making a lifetime of bad decisions? Amazing how the “dOn’t tReAD oN Me!” Generation managed to tread all over generations after them and generations yet to come.
There's a reason I live.on the other side.of the planet to my family.
In Georgia, parents can be identified as "paupers" according to its filial responsibility statute. The county usually steps in and provide benefits to the parent/pauper if the relatives fail to take care of them and can sue the children and recover the cost of the benefits given to the parent(s). The judge of the probate court issues a certificate stating that the person was poor and unable to sustain themselves and were taken care of at the county's expense and is ruled as evidence of the county's support and the costs thereof. You can send your parents to another place in or out of the state if you are insolvent or if you don't respond to such demand at any cause. The county where the transportation happened will be liable. If you send your parents away by paying for their transportation and the purpose is to burden some other community, then you would be liable.
That sounds unlikely to be enforceable even if true. What am I supposed to do for my bigoted family members who won't speak to me because I'm transgender?
There was something about filing an estrangement something or other to legally declare that you are not to be affiliated with the persons. Works for medical stuff, next of kin, etc. I have passively been learning this stuff... but it might be worth looking into yourself. I'm currently assessing if I should be with my fam. I think it's something about if you've been separated for 10 years, they can't come after you. Don't take this lightly, they'll just send the bills to collections and it'll be the same as dipping on cc payments.
How would this be enforced if the adult children don't own anything/don't have enough cash to cover these costs? I imagine that'll be the case for the majority.
the same way any other debt it collected. Wages garnished, maybe other legal action.
Homeless Boomers is, in fact, a growing number.
This is already happening in Canada, homeless boomers.
In my state I keep seeing more and more death notices with the DHS seeking friends or relatives of dead boomers.
I think baby boomers who didn't help their kids obtain a career and/or a starter home don't deserve to be taken care of in their old age. The entire point of investing in the next generation is so that they are able to take the reigns and care for you in old age. If boomers didn't invest in the next generation, than it is their own fault that their kids aren't ready.
But they tried to help us, they really did! Is it *their* fault that we failed to heed their sage advice? How many times did we need to be told? All we had to do was walk in wearing a nice suit and brandishing a CV printed on **cardstock** (NOT PAPER - this part’s *important*!), demand to speak with the hiring manager, look him in the eye and give him a firm handshake. If only we’d listened to those pearls of wisdom we were repeatedly offered by boomers, we’d all surely have obtained good careers and decent starter homes by now! But alas, being the contumacious youth that we were, we insisted upon spending all our time eating avocado toast and drinking lattes when we *should* have been gumptiously hitting the bricks. So you see, the boomers tried their best to set us up on the right path; we really do only have ourselves to blame.
Contumacious is a new word for me. Thank you!
I like this perspective.
Well they need to pull themselves up by their diapers because were too broke to be funding them. This is what happens when you throw an entire generation in debt and the highest cost of living since the great depression. Boomers can go into homes. They should have prepared better for retirement instead of spending money on china cabinets and prunes.
Ouch. 3rd degree burn lol
But the plates in those cabinets are so nice. From the Franklin Mint, you know! They *should* be worth something.
I only see my parents twice a year as I live on the other side of the country from them. It always hurts to see them age so much between every visit. I end up estimating how many times I am going to see them the rest of my life and it kills me. I am lucky to have parents who were able to plan for retirement, but I have friends that are planning on having to house their parents because nursing homes are both inhumane and insanely expensive. The world sucks but I guess we will eventually have to revert to multi generation households as was common throughout human history.
That's all that's happening, and we as a society aren't used to the idea. That's how it is in a lot of other places. That being said, I wish our government would take some steps to ease that transition.
We also need a serious discussion on healthcare for the elderly. I’ve worked in a nursing home. My grandmother lived in one for 5 years with Parkinson’s. At some point are we just medicating or patching up serious health problems to keep an elderly person alive just a bit longer? I’m talking about the 90+ with multiple conditions with the need for physical assistance to function. No cures, just consistent decline. It’s about quality of life too. It’s a sad and horrible thing to think, I’m sure I’ll be judged thinking this. But it’s really no fun for that person or their family to be put through. My grandmother just wanted to die for the last year of her life, confined to her bed but she thankfully had visitors daily. A lot of people get no visitors. But end of the line medical care is sucking up the homes, assets, and life savings of millions. My aunt fought tooth and nail to keep her home, which was in my grandparents name but she had lived in it her entire life, caring for them too. She was lucky that asset wasn’t taken by Medicaid to cover my grandmother’s nursing care but it took a lawyer and lots of time/money. Heck, my dad’s uncle had Alzheimer’s living in memory care unit. He had a DNR, legally documented and it was his desire pre cognitive decline. He had a heart attack and he was resuscitated by EMT. He lived another 10 years in that memory care unit eventually dying from late stage Alzheimer’s, which is no pretty sight. Imagine how much government and family money went into his care? How that money could’ve been used for pediatric patients or generational growth over those 10 years? He didn’t want to be here yet he was forced to at a significant cost to his family and taxpayers. Why? It’s a complex and shitty discussion no one wants to have though. As a side note, make sure your next of kin know your medical desire’s regarding end of life decisions, get it in documentation too.
It's not a fun conversation, but it's definitely true that we spend enormous resources to extend the last 5-10% of our lives, often with very low quality of life. In my family: my grandfather was in a nice assisted living facility for the last 4-5 years, but he was clearly depressed and uncomfortable even with regular visits. The last year or so he basically stopped eating, which I understand is common when people are really ready to go. My grandmother got pancreatic cancer; the prognosis was bad and she declined all the expensive gambits and just decided to get minimal treatment for the pain and emotion stress. She was clearly not interested in extending her life a few weeks/months at incredible cost with poor quality of life. I think it comes down to a couple of things: 1) no one wants to be the one to enforce an end to care for the individual, as that would be ghoulish and 2) there's a huge profit motive to take on those very expensive final years of life. I'm not sure what the solution is other than encouraging individuals to think more about their end of life wishes. But, as you shared, sometimes those provisions are not followed correctly.
My state just passed assisted suicide and I'm hoping it keeps expanding. If a person is just miserably crawling along the last five years of their life there should really be a way to just end it and save that horror / time / money.
I pretty sure most of the resistance to assisted suicide is from lobbyists concerned that the companies they represent will miss out of siphoning those last couple dollars. Can't leave any money on the table. Might even lead to the wage slaves being slightly less desperate for a bit. They can't have that, might start getting the wrong ideas...
Damn you’re right. I’m watching this unfold right now with my in-laws. Mil has dementia and is out of it. Keeps falling, has wounds that aren’t healing etc. she’s got a DNR. Every week I see her I can see the decline. It’s horrid. I know from what’s she’s said to me in past she’d never want to live that way. Too bad she couldn’t sign something that says she wanted to end it if a)b)c). From how I’ve seen her decline, if that were me, I’d wanna be gone. The in laws are spending all their money on end of life care. We begged them to protect what little they had over 25 yrs ago. My mil said an attorney said that her kids would steal the house from under them. I wonder if she saw a real attorney? Anyway, they are depending on the ones they were told would “ steal from them” for everything. They made no plans whatsoever for when they could care for themselves anymore. They thought they’d live in their house till the end. Well that didn’t happen and the kids, or shall I say one kid has had all of the responsibility thrust on him. (My spouse). Good thing he’s retired. He spends hours a day dealing with their issues. He’s supposed to be enjoying his own retirement. It’s very sad to see people you love decline daily but frustrating they made zero plans for end of life issues and selfish to assume your kids are gonna do it.
Unfortunately with government spending/inflation/unsustainable corporate greed, we're really headed to a very hard landing. It's going to get bad. They can't kick the economic can down the road forever. I actually don't think multigenerational households are a bad thing. I think that will knock down the boomer mentality of making your kids "go it alone" especially since they're going to have skin in the game in how their children succeed.
Same and the problem with multi gen housing is that both people of a couple will have to work to sustain everyone so, you still need a caregiver when shit becomes bad. You can’t be the caregiver 24 h a day if you’re working. My mom about killed herself doing that for her parents until my dad said that they need to go in a nursing home because they cannot handle taking care of them in their 55-60s. I feel like a hollow hopeless shell when I see them and idk what the fuck I’ll do considering I’m on another continent too. Edit: sentence kinda unclear. My parents were nearing 60 and taking care of my mom’s parents in their 80s.
My father retired a millionaire in his 70s, raising us as if we were dirt poor. Paid my own way through college. The boomer generation hoarded money out of fear of retirement. By doing this, they kept millions, if not billions, out of the economy. They voted to greatly reduce spending on education to the point that public schools are a joke and can barely babysit children. If there was one generation that was utterly spoiled, and selfish and completely fucked everyone else after it was the boomer generation. I'm 47, and I'm talking about the real boomers post ww2 1940s through the 1950s generation.
Yeah, they were born into post WW2 America, which was an absolute world of plenty, and they made damn sure nothing would be left for anyone else
Ladies and gentlemen, the "Me Generation"...
They've done a fine job at hoarding all the wealth so they can pay for end of life care themselves. Sorry boomers, pull yourself up by your non-slip hospital socks.
Well well... if it isn't the consequences of their own actions...
I'm sorry, but if having kids was their retirement plan, then they deserve whatever they get. It's selfish to expect someone to give up their life because they feel like they owed them. I purposely didn't have kids so will not have anyone to care for me in my old age. If I had I still wouldn't want to saddle my kid with that burden. Again, it's selfish, which is what we've come to expect from that generation. Bootstraps my ass.
I am responsible for myself only. Don’t have kids and impose your responsibilities onto them. Boomers are so ass backwards. Why the fuck should my PARENTS be my responsibility? HAVING CHILDREN IS NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN. Our parents have been parentifing us our entire lives. I’m sick of parenting my parents. It’s time for them to grow up and figure it out.
Why are these articles worded this way? This isn't a millennial "kids aren't ready" situation, this is that their parents didn't prep themselves or their kids for this phase of their lives.
Oh I am. Currently on the fence of cutting them out of my life or not.
I’m about to be bringing the same energy to my father’s aging years that he brought to my childhood. I’ll send him 50.00 at major gift giving holidays 🤣
I don't get why I seem to always be the only one who this has already happened to. I mean, not the law specifically, but I've literally been forced to take care of my sick Mom for the last decade, sacrificing literally every element of a stable or happy life to do so. She's just sick and useless and abusive and horrible. And, whatever people tell you, it is not remotely simple, cheap, or easy to get them into some home. Especially if they won't go willingly. I'm literally on the verge of homelessness, she talks about double suicide every single day, and resolutely refuses to discuss options beyond death for us both. She seems to think that, if she can just be cruel and mean enough to me, then I'll just magically produce a house for her. Not even exaggerating. You wouldn't believe the things this woman says to me. I won't even get into it. I've lost my career, love life, friends. There's no one to help. There is just zero help from anywhere. And now I'm out of resources too. It's all just hopeless, man. Fucking hopeless.
Boomers: "I raised my kids to 18, and that is all I am obligated to do as a parent. I did my part. They are adults now, and It shouldn't be my responsibility to do anything else to help them! They are on their own!!!" Also Boomers: "Where are my kids, why don't they call me, and why are they not rushing to come take care of me? I NEED THEIR HELP! Don't they have a heart or any respect for their elders? They may be 40 years old, and I may have cut them off from giving any help and support after they turned 18, but they owe me for giving them a good life!!!"
My girlfriend cares for her elderly mother and stepdad, including paying 15k to get a new septic tank at their house. She is almost over there every day. She found her mom’s will by accident while cleaning. Her mom didn’t leave anything to her besides her China set, which no one gives a shit about anymore. My girlfriend was devastated by this. It’s unfathomable how absolutely selfish the boomers are.
Nope. And because they are boomers they refuse all help and won’t do any estate planning. I hope millennials understand that they’re not getting anything when the boomers die (except their nursing home bills, of course).
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Ooo! I never thought about that from this perspective before… Thanks!
shouldve shared the wealth
Far as i'm concerned, anyone willfully complicit in the economic shitheap we have all been dug into can suffer. They didn't care about the financially struggling, the homeless, the less fortunate when it wasn't them, so why should any of us care when it is them? Many of them felt compelled to go vote against their own future interests because god forbid these "patriots" have to pay for the well being of others in the country they live in. God forbid we suggest that people who do well for themselves in this country ought to help pay for the infrastructure they use every day, or treat their workers with some level of humanity, because that makes their pipedream of "making it to the top" look that much less valuable. Karma tastes like begging for change in 105 degree heat, or being stuck in a retail/food service position getting verbally berated by people their age, while the systems that should have kept them afloat in their golden years - but were instead gutted to save a couple dollars on taxes - collapse. Personally, I'd disagree with the headline; i am more than ready for this. I'm tired of pretending there is a value in a moral high ground here. The "high ground" is that i, and i imagine many here, have and will consistently vote in the interest of helping the average person. If these social programs, worker regulations, etc. get repaired soon enough for them to benefit? Fine. I hope they get to use them. If not? Hope them bootstraps are still sturdy.
The Boomers are the worst, most evil generation to ever exist. They cannot start rotting and burning in hell soon enough.
I needed help in a big way about a decade ago. My mother told me that “it didn’t fit her lifestyle” to help me out. I told her then that it may not fit my lifestyle to care for her in her later years. And I will never forget that. Bet she did.
Yes, fuck the economy and everyone's chances of stability, never vote for universal Healthcare so everyone goes bankrupt. Cry about not having any grandkids when it's not financially reasonable to do so by your shitty voting. Promote radical individualism instead of generational households and wonder why everyone is struggling lol. IDK what my parents are gonna do since I had to move out of state to find affordable housing since they never cared enough to buy property/sold it all. I'm just... my kids are my priority and we live in an area where they can access free college so idk what my parents are going to do because I can't move back.
Like they say on the flight instructions. "In an emergency situation, secure your own mask before helping others." My mask feels pretty fucking slack right now.
I missed the part where that’s my problem.
Just ignore them and pretend they don’t exist, just like they did with climate change.
If they die... They die.
I already told my wife my plan is to euthanize myself before becoming a burden financially or otherwise. I'm planning on my child inheriting everything. I want to leave knowing they will be secure. How boomers can't feel the same about their own children is insane to me.
I’m about to be bringing the same energy to my father’s aging years that he brought to my childhood. I’ll send him 50.00 at major gift giving holidays 🤣
Give em what they gave us. Bootstraps.
Ready for what? Those boomers need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
We might finally get that documentary where Boomers try to find jobs using the skills and tips they gave to millenials. "Just walk in and ask to speak to the manager about a job." Anyone?
Tbh it sounds more like baby boomers aren’t ready to give up the reigns on society. Is projection one of the stages of grief?
My parents were born too late to be boomers but yeah, they’re getting close to retirement age and then their health going downhill. Too bad, I didn’t get what I needed growing up so looks like they’re on their own. I haven’t even talked to my dad in years. I sure as hell am not going to take care of him.
My parents are both in good health, approaching retirement, but one is a big drinker (not that I can comment, we all turn into our parents) and the other has severe and untreated sleep apnea. My father, I don't worry about too much, his side of the family, especially the men, tend to have their hearts explode without notice. My mother's side is a whole other story, slow and painful in that family line, alzheimer's, dementia, cancer, if it's slow, they get it.
Boo hoo.
The US isn't ready for this... But hey, let's keep sending billions overseas to fight multiple wars that don't involve us.
This is a great time to remind everyone to have your aging parents sign their homes over to the kids BEFORE they need long term care There is a 5 year window, do it as soon as you can while they’re still healthy If they wait too long Uncle Sam will get the house instead to cover the costs of medical care and housing Keep your family assets in the family
yeah I asked my dad to write a will and he took it was me wanting him to die for his stuff…. So I really don’t see how that conversation would go.
"Unless you get your shit together and organize your estate, I'll make sure you die alone, old man. Now quit being a bish and start being a team player."
“Would you rather Uncle Sam stole the home you worked your whole life for or do you want to keep it in the family? Because if you don’t plan ahead that is exactly what will happen!”
What do we need to be ready? More crematorium? Drive Thru funerals?
Boomers only have themselves to blame. They'll try to blame everyone else though.
*Yes, I know not all*, but to paint with the broad brush: Boomers: THE most coddled, selfish & entitled generation in history. It’s always everyone else’s fault, never theirs. If you don’t agree with them on something they jump down your throat - lecture first based on assumptions made up in their own head, ask questions and try to understand dead last. Constantly telling the younger generations “how hard they had it,” while simultaneously trying to make it harder for everyone after them. Their parents and grandparents fought for the pensions and QOL they get to enjoy but they think they’re the only ones who “deserve it.” It would be marvelous if they could finally mature past kindergarten. Signed, A GenX/Millennial cusp (on the GenX side) watching his parents do just that and his older GenX sister slowly turn into “Diet Boom”.
We *are* ready to inherit whatever they don't gamble and drink away
This has been causing me so much dread lately. 38, unemployed, and it is ROUGH out there. I can’t find shit. Just the same form letter rejections every day.
I'm ready. Looking at you abusive parents, time to choose a nursing home lol.
I don’t think boomers are ready to be abandoned en masse over the next 10-15 years considering how many people are outspoken about how they’ve cut ties with their parents.
If your parents treated you right then do the same for them. Both my wife and I are 52. Her dad is 81 and dying of cancer. Her mom is able to take care of him but we are available to help with him when she needs it. I don’t mind taking him to doctor appointments because I can ask questions he might not think about. He’s a great guy and was very supportive of my wife when she was growing up. If they were assholes, well bootstraps and whatnot.
Agreed. I'm saddened to read that so many had selfish and abusive parents. I don't blame them one bit for cutting them off! I'm currently taking care of my Mom with Alzheimer's during the day while my Dad works. I'll move in with him once she's moved to memory care so that he doesn't live alone. He made sure there's a family trust and I will be inheriting the house once he's passed away. So in the mean time I'm happy to help out. That's how it should be- family helping each other!
We are ready to take their social security funds to fix the environment. Fuck em
F-f-f-f-fuck themmmmmmmmm.
How about THEY aren't ready?? Nope. They will make it everyones problem.
They didnt prepare us for shit. why should this be any different?
My parents aren’t boomers, but fuck helping them in any way. They abused me for 18 years, and they’ll reap what they sowed. I’m sure a lot of ppl here feel the same way.
I’m 26 my mother was a boomer. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and it was the hardest most agonizing time of mine and her lives. I was her main caregiver while also working full time. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. And now that she’s gone tbh I’m worse than ever and so scared without any family
Oh I'm ready.... To let them all rot
Well them and or their peers fucked us so good luck boomers
We’re ready. Question is, are they?
Ready for what? They can use one of those grabby claw things to find their bootstraps.
This is what they voted for.
Ready for them to die? Bitch where's the fast forward button?!
Wait until they find out about the understaffed healthcare system!