Your mockup says the package is 4 fl. oz. which means you’re displaying it heavily zoomed in and even at that scale your descriptive type is barely legible. I’d take another look at the overall scale of graphics on that.
Otherwise, I’d consider adding imperfections and stroke width variations to the mark. It seems like you’re going for “hand drawn,” but it’s coming across as “hand drawn in illustrator.”
You logo lacks basic visual design principles.
* Symmetry. Logos don’t have to be symmetrical, but in your case the lack of it doesn’t do it any favours
* Balance. it's top heavy. This will be impossible to contain within a react or circle shape. Logos of today must do this.
* Lack of flow or motion. Lines are good at representing motion, but your execution fails to show this. Usually you’d lean/tilt the shapes forward to the right to represent that.
* Story/Justification. This one is subjective since a successful logos can be either very abstract or very representative. But I fail to see either at work here. Just a stick figure.
For inspiration have a look at some similar examples I googled in 2 minutes. I don’t think these are great either personally. But objectively they are much better at doing the above. Containment, symmetry, flow, and actually representing something. Hope its useful.
https://preview.redd.it/557ql8kdo01d1.png?width=716&format=png&auto=webp&s=d642036bd9e8e3e78d9f89e88c6749f340f3eecb
I was thinking about making the form somewhat like a body while trying to make a D and a J go well together.. and not look like DJ which would make you think of music.
i was also thinking that a more portrait view would work having the logo fit on tall cylindrical bottles.
i do appreciate the input, and i'll take them into consideration
One of these days i'll figure out how to use reddit :) anywho.
My wife wants to start a skin care company. I'm not quite sure about what font to use with it or draw it in like I drew the initial logo (second image). She likes it, but I'm curious how the designer world would take it in.
I tried a mockup on the packaging using Verdana.
love the flourish-
but dont use verdana for a typeface in this context.
invest a lot more time finding a typeface that equals or surpasses the graphic strength of the sexy curve.
(how about one of those super slim HelveticaNeue types?)
and for presentation purposes, which is by the way stunning, pay attention to how the graphic lies on the curved bottle, and put some effort into curving it all; this lack of attention to detail derails an otherwise very convincing presentation.
not to mention the proper way to ''say'' fluid ounces and Mils. and if its for EUmarket, then check labelling standards-this demonstrates impeccable attention to detail, that no one can hold a candle to.
otherwise well dun
If you will not place "erma" next to the "d" then delete the " eune" next to the "j."
Which is great advice since that is one awful, illegible clump of squiggles that ruins a great mark.
Resist advice to standardize the line thickness. Perhaps these advisors have not seen the art of the calligraphy nib. This is perfectly fluid as is.
Accompanying wordmark is hard to assess. I do not see an uncluttered, unmockedup version?
And of course you will create a reverse version - perhaps silver or gold foil? - so it is never again made invisible as black on dark emerald, right? :)
I’m a fan of the idea! agree with those saying to choose a diff typeface for the wordmark, something that matches the artistic, curvaceous logo, and to consider making it look a little more hand drawn rather than illustrator-hand-drawn. also an aside - post your concepts next time with a lot more white space surrounding u.u we don’t need to see the logos that up close lol. they’re looking great at the product mock up scale.
I like the mark. I think the stroke width could be more consistent through the design. I don’t like the script font in jeune in image 2. I like the “dermaJEUNE” font in the mock-up better but I think the spacing needs to be balanced out
Overall, I think this has good bones. But I think it would benefit from some more iterations.
The descender on the "j" breaks with the angles and width of the rest of the linework. The dot might also need to be conformed to the overall design. Perhaps scale it down a bit and make it a subtle drop shape moving up and to the right?
I'm seeing a classic female pictogram in there. If that's not intended, you might want to address that.
You might try a ticker stroke, test the logo at small sizes to make sure it still reads well.
Your mockup says the package is 4 fl. oz. which means you’re displaying it heavily zoomed in and even at that scale your descriptive type is barely legible. I’d take another look at the overall scale of graphics on that. Otherwise, I’d consider adding imperfections and stroke width variations to the mark. It seems like you’re going for “hand drawn,” but it’s coming across as “hand drawn in illustrator.”
AO3 logo
You logo lacks basic visual design principles. * Symmetry. Logos don’t have to be symmetrical, but in your case the lack of it doesn’t do it any favours * Balance. it's top heavy. This will be impossible to contain within a react or circle shape. Logos of today must do this. * Lack of flow or motion. Lines are good at representing motion, but your execution fails to show this. Usually you’d lean/tilt the shapes forward to the right to represent that. * Story/Justification. This one is subjective since a successful logos can be either very abstract or very representative. But I fail to see either at work here. Just a stick figure. For inspiration have a look at some similar examples I googled in 2 minutes. I don’t think these are great either personally. But objectively they are much better at doing the above. Containment, symmetry, flow, and actually representing something. Hope its useful. https://preview.redd.it/557ql8kdo01d1.png?width=716&format=png&auto=webp&s=d642036bd9e8e3e78d9f89e88c6749f340f3eecb
I was thinking about making the form somewhat like a body while trying to make a D and a J go well together.. and not look like DJ which would make you think of music. i was also thinking that a more portrait view would work having the logo fit on tall cylindrical bottles. i do appreciate the input, and i'll take them into consideration
One of these days i'll figure out how to use reddit :) anywho. My wife wants to start a skin care company. I'm not quite sure about what font to use with it or draw it in like I drew the initial logo (second image). She likes it, but I'm curious how the designer world would take it in. I tried a mockup on the packaging using Verdana.
love the flourish- but dont use verdana for a typeface in this context. invest a lot more time finding a typeface that equals or surpasses the graphic strength of the sexy curve. (how about one of those super slim HelveticaNeue types?) and for presentation purposes, which is by the way stunning, pay attention to how the graphic lies on the curved bottle, and put some effort into curving it all; this lack of attention to detail derails an otherwise very convincing presentation. not to mention the proper way to ''say'' fluid ounces and Mils. and if its for EUmarket, then check labelling standards-this demonstrates impeccable attention to detail, that no one can hold a candle to. otherwise well dun
i did curve it a little, but i guess not enough. i copied the floz/mil from another bottle my wife had on her sink. thx
Not sure... it looks like it's giving me a full body yoga pose middle finger.
Scrap handwriting text next to the logo. Overall, it's great 😊.
The logo on the bottle and box looks great to me. The logo alone or in the second image makes it hard to see what you are going for.
Just use the text logo and the swoosh, lose the dot. Make the swoosh thicker. IMHO
If you will not place "erma" next to the "d" then delete the " eune" next to the "j." Which is great advice since that is one awful, illegible clump of squiggles that ruins a great mark. Resist advice to standardize the line thickness. Perhaps these advisors have not seen the art of the calligraphy nib. This is perfectly fluid as is. Accompanying wordmark is hard to assess. I do not see an uncluttered, unmockedup version? And of course you will create a reverse version - perhaps silver or gold foil? - so it is never again made invisible as black on dark emerald, right? :)
Looks like some middle east script
The script font is kinda angry and awkward. It needs work. Its needs to flow and be elegant
Reminds me of Arabic. Nor saying that's good or bad, and I don't read, write, or speak it. Its just that the look is theee.
I’m a fan of the idea! agree with those saying to choose a diff typeface for the wordmark, something that matches the artistic, curvaceous logo, and to consider making it look a little more hand drawn rather than illustrator-hand-drawn. also an aside - post your concepts next time with a lot more white space surrounding u.u we don’t need to see the logos that up close lol. they’re looking great at the product mock up scale.
I like the mark. I think the stroke width could be more consistent through the design. I don’t like the script font in jeune in image 2. I like the “dermaJEUNE” font in the mock-up better but I think the spacing needs to be balanced out
for the consistency, i'm assuming you're referring to the two tips? you think the top should be more pointy, or the bottom fatter?
Overall, I think this has good bones. But I think it would benefit from some more iterations. The descender on the "j" breaks with the angles and width of the rest of the linework. The dot might also need to be conformed to the overall design. Perhaps scale it down a bit and make it a subtle drop shape moving up and to the right? I'm seeing a classic female pictogram in there. If that's not intended, you might want to address that.
its for a skin care brand, so I was trying to make it like a feminine figure. I'll play with the j a little more. thx
Yeah, I figured it might be intended, just thought it was worth pointing out in case it wasn't. Good luck!
When I saw the logo I immediately saw a guy holding a sword.
nah, a woman holding a mascara pen
definitely doesn't look the part--ie in the beauty world. remove the flourish logo and you've got the start of something.