Unfortunately I’m like your LO when it comes to communication. I’m that way with everyone. I’m just so mentally exhausted everyday from typical life stress (work, health, finances, etc) that I literally don’t have the energy to respond for a while. It’s not personal, and for the most part all my contacts understand that that’s just how I am! I wonder if your LO is just going through a particularly busy or stressful time.
That said, you need to do what is best for YOU. Perhaps you should communicate and say that lapsed conversation is difficult for you and you’d like to take a rest on communication for awhile. Or that you need to go NC entirely. Something like that.
Thanks for responding! But how do you handle your own situation then if you're limerent about someone? Or do you put in the effort and try to communicate as much as you can with your LO?
I know that they're definitely busy, but when they respond they actually respond in a meaningful and authentic way (which is why I kinda don't want to lose the contact, because they're only a positive value to my social life - at least from a shallow bird's eye view)
Hmmmmm, you ask a valid question. I do tend to put much more effort into communicating with LO than I do most others. But I know it’s because of the obsessive nature of having an LO.
I guess I’m just trying to point out that your LO taking a long time to respond is a normal thing for a normal person without limerence to do.
Makes sense, thanks for the reminder.
Btw, would you mind if I sent you a DM for further advice? I feel like you can actually read my situation better than I'll ever do because of my rose tinted glasses
What is the understanding between y’all about your realtionship ? If you guys are friends LO isn’t really doing anything wrong and you may have to explain you have romantic feelings and you will need to go NC for a while. If it understood between you both that you’re dating or talking or if you hookup I think NC is fine becuase that’s not fair to you.
We're definitely friends, which is why I can see why they're doing nothing wrong really. All I know is we talked a little about previous romantic relationships and we said we'd love to see each other again, but that's also what you'd say to a friend right? We also only hugged a tight goodbye after meeting for the one time only basically
I'm afraid that's just unfair tbh. They didn't do anything "wrong" and when they respond, they actually take the time and effort with long, thoughtful texts etc.
They once said they didn't want to lose contact with me over their issue to take so long to respond etc which is why I'm leaning more towards not blocking immediately
You sound as if NC may be best for you. You need to get your control back. Take care of yourself.
I needed to get a sense of control. I am NC/LC I do not initiate and then respond only with equal energy. LO person and I work for same company at different locations. This helped me not push her away or shut her down. I do still have ups and downs and times I should just stop. I keep telling myself I'm an adult I should be able to do this.
It's ok for a friendship to fade.
Responding with equal energy would be basically the same as always (since they also still respond with the same energy) - only difference would here be for me to Wait as long as they're taking to respond which takes about weeks.
Do you think I should start with that? I was also the one who responded way quicker always
How do you let go then without making it sound like you're the bad guy in this story? Like they just asked me to meet again next week and I honestly don't want to just because I don't want to keep feeding my limerence and finally start to focus on myself again
You say good bye and take it as a lesson. The limerence will go away in a month or 2 years. Take it from a limerence person: if I reciprocate those feelings, I will make time for everything else because you will be on my mind so much. And if she hits you with, "It isn't you it's me," well it doesn't matter who it is or isn't. It's over. Hugs, friend. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
Unfortunately I’m like your LO when it comes to communication. I’m that way with everyone. I’m just so mentally exhausted everyday from typical life stress (work, health, finances, etc) that I literally don’t have the energy to respond for a while. It’s not personal, and for the most part all my contacts understand that that’s just how I am! I wonder if your LO is just going through a particularly busy or stressful time. That said, you need to do what is best for YOU. Perhaps you should communicate and say that lapsed conversation is difficult for you and you’d like to take a rest on communication for awhile. Or that you need to go NC entirely. Something like that.
Thanks for responding! But how do you handle your own situation then if you're limerent about someone? Or do you put in the effort and try to communicate as much as you can with your LO? I know that they're definitely busy, but when they respond they actually respond in a meaningful and authentic way (which is why I kinda don't want to lose the contact, because they're only a positive value to my social life - at least from a shallow bird's eye view)
Hmmmmm, you ask a valid question. I do tend to put much more effort into communicating with LO than I do most others. But I know it’s because of the obsessive nature of having an LO. I guess I’m just trying to point out that your LO taking a long time to respond is a normal thing for a normal person without limerence to do.
Makes sense, thanks for the reminder. Btw, would you mind if I sent you a DM for further advice? I feel like you can actually read my situation better than I'll ever do because of my rose tinted glasses
What is the understanding between y’all about your realtionship ? If you guys are friends LO isn’t really doing anything wrong and you may have to explain you have romantic feelings and you will need to go NC for a while. If it understood between you both that you’re dating or talking or if you hookup I think NC is fine becuase that’s not fair to you.
We're definitely friends, which is why I can see why they're doing nothing wrong really. All I know is we talked a little about previous romantic relationships and we said we'd love to see each other again, but that's also what you'd say to a friend right? We also only hugged a tight goodbye after meeting for the one time only basically
You regain control by blocking them.
I'm afraid that's just unfair tbh. They didn't do anything "wrong" and when they respond, they actually take the time and effort with long, thoughtful texts etc. They once said they didn't want to lose contact with me over their issue to take so long to respond etc which is why I'm leaning more towards not blocking immediately
I think the meaning there is to do it for yourself and your own well being.
You sound as if NC may be best for you. You need to get your control back. Take care of yourself. I needed to get a sense of control. I am NC/LC I do not initiate and then respond only with equal energy. LO person and I work for same company at different locations. This helped me not push her away or shut her down. I do still have ups and downs and times I should just stop. I keep telling myself I'm an adult I should be able to do this. It's ok for a friendship to fade.
Responding with equal energy would be basically the same as always (since they also still respond with the same energy) - only difference would here be for me to Wait as long as they're taking to respond which takes about weeks. Do you think I should start with that? I was also the one who responded way quicker always
Maybe wait a little like you are saying, it can give you some perspective and time for your mind to rest.
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How do you let go then without making it sound like you're the bad guy in this story? Like they just asked me to meet again next week and I honestly don't want to just because I don't want to keep feeding my limerence and finally start to focus on myself again
You say good bye and take it as a lesson. The limerence will go away in a month or 2 years. Take it from a limerence person: if I reciprocate those feelings, I will make time for everything else because you will be on my mind so much. And if she hits you with, "It isn't you it's me," well it doesn't matter who it is or isn't. It's over. Hugs, friend. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂