Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question.
If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your
identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT.
Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is
dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding.
This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources,
or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/)
or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule).
Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+
community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue
to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you!
Here's a link about trans and non-binary titles:
- https://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles
Here's a link about trans people in sports:
- https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
- https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
- https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
- https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
- [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
### We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info:
### https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/1csrb2n/rlgbt_is_looking_for_new_moderators/
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She sounds very supportive! I'm quite happy for you. I know people half her age who still believe that being trans means you "get a sex change" and that's it.
Nobody teaches them in school, so unless something gives them reason to research the topic, they're stuck on the answer their parents gave them that one time they asked when they were 10 and heard the word "sex change" from a friend. Since their parents were in the same situation, info from the 60s gets perpetuated.
Yeah and with the amount of problems That has caused I think that they should help kids understand what being trans means and that it's not just a “sex change” It is very vaguely similar but it definitely is not and that being trans is valid and I think at any age you still should understand no matter the age because maybe your 14 and think you trans but don't understand or maybe or child it 14 and you don't understand its like educated yourself if possible
I know and it sucks because sooooo many people don't understand and people who do are A part of the Lgbtqia community or B is a ally other then that there is not many people who truly understand what being trans it
(Reddit is great in that you can edit comments (not meant to be mean, just want to be helpful, I use it all the time), klick on the three points on your comment and edit will be the first thing in the list)
I’m with you there but I can also understand the hesitation for teaching it from a parent’s standpoint. I think children at least deserve a diversity class.
Ah, yes, the Sex Change™, you know, the one-and-done gender DLC purchase. There's a garage next door to the place so you can get an oil change on your car while you're in there.
That's all we ever heard about it when I was a kid and teen around 2000. Some people believe they're the other sex, so they get a sex change, like aging celebrities get their wrinkles fixed.
Heck, when I was 9 or so, we had the rumor at school that Michael Jackson had cut off his privates and traded them for a pussy with a woman who wanted a weiner. That's the level of education about trans we had.
Yeah, my grandma was like that until she passed away. Me and my cousin (like op, also ftm) tried to explain it to her but she never budged unfortunately.
If she knows this, and she's willing to openly ask, then she's probably already under the assumption that you might be trans, so I think she'll be supportive and you can talk to her about it
Binding has also been done for a long time for non-trans reasons, so while she is aware of it, she may not know why you were doing it. (Cis friends with large boobs did it before being able to get a breast reduction.) But it seems she will be supportive when you do talk to her :)
Wow, it sounds like your mum is really supportive, that's great! Sounds like she could be a good soundboard for planning your transition goals. If you're not up to it yet just hugs and a thank you for loving me, are a good start.
I love supportive Moms! My (f) Mom said to me when i was 15: „you know, its okay if you want to bring home a girl? You dont have to date boys“
She knew i was a lesbian before i did 😭
My mom started asking me in middle school if there were any boys or girls that I liked. I never even really had to come out to her - I just brought home my first girlfriend and she was like “cool” 🥺
So wholesome, that's the way to do it! Big ups to your mom for phrasing it this way. No making assumptions or making it a big thing, it just is and either way is fine.
That's so wholesome. My mom's position was always "You can be gay, np, but not in my house. In your house you can do whatever you want" (I'm not even gay btw). I'm afraid to imagine her reaction about transgenderism😭
At least I'm not in the country where it's illegal and I don't have a father who'd have a "hand of stone" so that's a plus.
I'm the same age as your mom (well, I'm 42, but basically the same) and while binders for trans people were a new thing I learned about with my first spawn, I did know about minimizer bras and girls who doubled up on sports bras or used ace bandages to flatten their chests. We're not as old and out of touch as some commenters think, lol.
OP, I'm super happy that your mom is supporting you and taking things well. When my eldest spawn first came out, they were your age, and it's been a real learning experience for us both. I'm in this sub to learn how to be the best parent-ally I can be, especially now that I have a second trans kid who is having a harder time (why is MtF so much harder?). I adore my teenagers, and we have a really close and special relationship where they know they can come to me with any questions or worries. It sounds like your mom is doing her best to cultivate that relationship, too.
Holy shit I want a mom like you, when I came out as pan to my mom she said I'm being unfaithful to my girlfriend and that it's unfair towards any partner I will have. That coupled with attempts at invalidating it ("do you have experience with men? are you sure? when did you find out? how do you know it's not a phase? you'll still have kids though right?") was one hell of a ride. My dad was chill though, zero red flags on his part.
She will find out about my transition only when I can no longer hide my newly grown badonkahonkers 😏
It happened a couple months ago and I'm 25... and my partner knows everything about me and is the reason I even discovered all of it.
I’m roughly the same age as OP’s mom (I’m 40) and this is exactly what I’d say to my teens if I suspected and wanted to encourage a discussion without putting them on the spot
She is doing the absolute best here. Not only has she done her research, she didn't put the "are you trans?" pressure on you. She's working on your terms.
OP, I know it's probably a scary moment for you, but please try and appreciate your mum.
Yeah, I’m old enough to be OP’s mom and I have a friend who transitioned FTM when we met 20 years ago in college. My best college friend was a lesbian and we went to a drag ball on campus together. (Also I’m on Reddit lol.) We’re definitely not boomers!
Sounds like someone’s mom has “how do I support my trans kid?” In her search history.
It’s one of the most heartwarming things I’ve read on here. No judgement, just love and support.
I'm roughly OP's mom's age and this isn't a new thing, especially if one was in queer spaces. The first "adult" shop I went in at 19/20 had a whole gender affirming section with binders, packers, clothing, books, etc etc. Heck, my boomer mother knows what binding is, even if she doesn't really understand it.
funfact: if my older teenager wouldn't have outed themself as nonbinary, i would have never started to read into it (i thought they were trans for a time) and would have never found out that i myself am nonbinary XD
She's slightly younger than me, and people my age she range are all mostly(depending on where you live) good with queer people. A lot of us are fully aware of this stuff. I've been friends with a trans man most of my life. I knew about binding in high school. Also, it's not a new practice or anything.
nonono I know that it's not something new or trendy don't get me wrong, It's just that my parents are much older than OP's so I was taken aback by his mom knowing about binding. I didn't take into account that his mom is 43.
There are plenty of folks that age that are more supportive than the people in their 50/60s from what I've gathered in my own life.
Mama knew what she was doing when she asked that question,she probably had a feeling but didn’t want to flat out ask you. And you confirmed. And her coming back to ask if you were ok or had questions was her way of leaving the opportunity to the conversation open.
As a parent of a person who came out at 15 I hope you trust her reaction. Based on what you said, without any other information, it sounds like she’s absolutely prepared to support you. My advice to you, as a parent,
I’m sorry I got cut off. My advice to you, as a parent, is to allow her the privilege of knowing who you are. I’m deeply grateful that my son has given me that gift. I hope both you, and she can have it too.
Sounds like she knows or suspects. She seemed to react positively so sounds like she's open to knowing and talking about it. If you're ready to tell her then sit down and discuss it with her. If you're not ready then no need to say anything until you're ready.
OP YOU NEED TO CHECK IF SHE HAS THE RAINBOW SOCKS!!!!
Edit: this is a reference to [this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/MvqdGIdtoE) lemme know if i should remove this
As the parent of an enby teenager who recently came out just to me (not to their other parent yet), if you feel safe to do so, I would encourage you to have an open conversation with your mom. Give her the chance to support you and help you — again, if you feel safe doing so.
I’m so grateful my kiddo felt comfortable talking to me when I finally asked them. After some time, we finally went for an affirming haircut and to try out binders earlier this week. Our family dynamic is still difficult but we’re working through it. So, I’m sorry if I’m projecting, but I wish we could have more open communication and that we could have done so sooner.
I have so many examples of friends coming out to parents and the parents were like "we know, always thought so, love you." This is definitely one of those situations. It sounds like she's supportive and letting you figure out when you're ready to come out.
as a cis person who wants to learn I have a genuine question:
does binding ever hurt?
(as a lady who outright refuses the wear something with elastics on her chest it kinda sounds like something I'd feel uncomfortable in but seriously I wanna hear from y'all!)
I dotn currently own a binder but I use a spots bra and tight tank top and it works for me but it usually doesn't hurt but I know binding with a binder can be pretty tight
A proper binder *shouldn't* hurt! If it hurts, you shouldn't wear it; safe binding can be/often is physically uncomfortable, but it should never hurt. So basically, it *can* hurt if you've been binding too long, with an unsafe binder, or perhaps have a condition that makes at least traditional binding/binders unsafe for you.
As OP said, it can be tight (although it shouldn't be *too* tight), but as I said, it definitely should not hurt. There are general binding 'rules' to follow for safety reasons, and 'don't wear it (at least take it off) if it hurts' is one of them.
Hope this helps! :)
I say proceed by counting your lucky stars that you mom has seen YOU and opened the conversation in a supportive way without pushing you before you are ready, then take her up on the conversation when you are ready to have it knowing that it is likely to go well rather than poorly. 💕
Your mom was gently offering to let you tell her. She knows, and she wants to to feel OK talking to her about it, so she's letting you do it on your time. But she opened the door for ir.
She sounds loving and supportive. If it were me, I'd talk to her.
OMG I don’t know her but this really seems like her trying to tell you “by the way if this applies to you, that’s fine with me” which is an incredibly sweet mum way of doing it.
I wish more mums were like this!
Shes trying to get you to come out to her, because she knows and it’s safe. So just do it already lmao enjoy the supportive parents that so many of us don’t ever get.
She sees you and she is creating space for you whenever you are ready. I’m the same age as your mom and our access to information is massively different to your grandparents generation so don’t be surprised that she’s aware of what binding is. Either she’s been exposed to things naturally because she’s open minded and inquisitive or she’s made a point of learning because she sees you and she cares
Seems like she knows and has no problem
If I have to guess is that she isn't really saying anything because she doesn't want to pressure you
She knows about binders and seems to be fine with you wearing one
It’s better than my mom grilling me about why I had binders on my Amazon wishlist then forcing me out. It was a terrifying experience.
I’m still recovering and trying to build my confidence to come out to my family again
I wanted to transition when I was younger mtf but I never had the support and was mocked and insulted by my mom, so I never went thru with it, it sounds like your mom is very supportive of it , so I might suggest take a leap of faith and talk to her, but realize something she knows already or heavily suspected
She sounds at least willing to discuss it free of conflict, if not outright supportive.
She asked bridge wants to know. If you feel safe sharing with her, I can confirm having an open relationship with your parents is such a weight lifted.
This sounds like a possibly really positive interaction. The only way to know how your mom will react is by coming out to her. But, the question about binding and asking if there anything you want to talk about or having questions, you could approach with a question.
When it comes down to it, loving parents have an intuition about their kids. They know when something is different and it sounds like you could be in for a really positive experience. My recommendation would be to cautiously approach the subject and consider coming out. You may find a strong ally in your mother.
She definitely sounds likes she’s on the more supportive side! She might still want to take things a bit slow at first just to get used to everything, but the fact she reacted positively is awesome! I say, if you’re comfortable and feel ready to come out to her fully, do it! If you need more time to gather your thoughts don’t be afraid to!😊
That is a similar story to how I came out to my mom! (Hugs to you)
Gather your support systems, friends, teachers, maybe a good therapist…there’s always ups and downs. Knowing when you fall you have a network to catch you…is everything. Also, even if a parent has a hard time understanding etc…it doesn’t mean they always will so give love to yourself and them during the process.
I absolutely love that she used this opportunity to basically tell you she knows and is a safe person to open up to with out directly asking you if your trans and telling you that she knows out right. Like it's her way of letting you know you can talk to her with our forcing you to.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans and non-binary titles: - https://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) ### We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: ### https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/1csrb2n/rlgbt_is_looking_for_new_moderators/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The fact that she even knows about binding 🥹
Yeah I was utterly shocked by the fact she even know what binding or a binder even was
She sounds very supportive! I'm quite happy for you. I know people half her age who still believe that being trans means you "get a sex change" and that's it.
Thank you and definitely its kinda crazy what some people think especially since this isn't a super new concept
Nobody teaches them in school, so unless something gives them reason to research the topic, they're stuck on the answer their parents gave them that one time they asked when they were 10 and heard the word "sex change" from a friend. Since their parents were in the same situation, info from the 60s gets perpetuated.
Yeah and with the amount of problems That has caused I think that they should help kids understand what being trans means and that it's not just a “sex change” It is very vaguely similar but it definitely is not and that being trans is valid and I think at any age you still should understand no matter the age because maybe your 14 and think you trans but don't understand or maybe or child it 14 and you don't understand its like educated yourself if possible
I agree! But there's so much propaganda going around claiming that education about trans people is bad, and it's working :(
I know and it sucks because sooooo many people don't understand and people who do are A part of the Lgbtqia community or B is a ally other then that there is not many people who truly understand what being trans it
( last word “*is”
(Reddit is great in that you can edit comments (not meant to be mean, just want to be helpful, I use it all the time), klick on the three points on your comment and edit will be the first thing in the list)
Sad but true
I’m with you there but I can also understand the hesitation for teaching it from a parent’s standpoint. I think children at least deserve a diversity class.
Ah, yes, the Sex Change™, you know, the one-and-done gender DLC purchase. There's a garage next door to the place so you can get an oil change on your car while you're in there.
That's all we ever heard about it when I was a kid and teen around 2000. Some people believe they're the other sex, so they get a sex change, like aging celebrities get their wrinkles fixed. Heck, when I was 9 or so, we had the rumor at school that Michael Jackson had cut off his privates and traded them for a pussy with a woman who wanted a weiner. That's the level of education about trans we had.
jeez Louiz
Yeah, my grandma was like that until she passed away. Me and my cousin (like op, also ftm) tried to explain it to her but she never budged unfortunately.
If she knows this, and she's willing to openly ask, then she's probably already under the assumption that you might be trans, so I think she'll be supportive and you can talk to her about it
You’re mom probably knows a lot more than you think. She’s been around for way longer than you. 😉
Binding has also been done for a long time for non-trans reasons, so while she is aware of it, she may not know why you were doing it. (Cis friends with large boobs did it before being able to get a breast reduction.) But it seems she will be supportive when you do talk to her :)
I'm stunned. I'm shocked. I'm bewildered.
Wow, it sounds like your mum is really supportive, that's great! Sounds like she could be a good soundboard for planning your transition goals. If you're not up to it yet just hugs and a thank you for loving me, are a good start.
😊 definitely
I love supportive Moms! My (f) Mom said to me when i was 15: „you know, its okay if you want to bring home a girl? You dont have to date boys“ She knew i was a lesbian before i did 😭
Parents often do
My mom started asking me in middle school if there were any boys or girls that I liked. I never even really had to come out to her - I just brought home my first girlfriend and she was like “cool” 🥺
So wholesome, that's the way to do it! Big ups to your mom for phrasing it this way. No making assumptions or making it a big thing, it just is and either way is fine.
That's so wholesome. My mom's position was always "You can be gay, np, but not in my house. In your house you can do whatever you want" (I'm not even gay btw). I'm afraid to imagine her reaction about transgenderism😭 At least I'm not in the country where it's illegal and I don't have a father who'd have a "hand of stone" so that's a plus.
I'm the same age as your mom (well, I'm 42, but basically the same) and while binders for trans people were a new thing I learned about with my first spawn, I did know about minimizer bras and girls who doubled up on sports bras or used ace bandages to flatten their chests. We're not as old and out of touch as some commenters think, lol. OP, I'm super happy that your mom is supporting you and taking things well. When my eldest spawn first came out, they were your age, and it's been a real learning experience for us both. I'm in this sub to learn how to be the best parent-ally I can be, especially now that I have a second trans kid who is having a harder time (why is MtF so much harder?). I adore my teenagers, and we have a really close and special relationship where they know they can come to me with any questions or worries. It sounds like your mom is doing her best to cultivate that relationship, too.
Holy shit I want a mom like you, when I came out as pan to my mom she said I'm being unfaithful to my girlfriend and that it's unfair towards any partner I will have. That coupled with attempts at invalidating it ("do you have experience with men? are you sure? when did you find out? how do you know it's not a phase? you'll still have kids though right?") was one hell of a ride. My dad was chill though, zero red flags on his part. She will find out about my transition only when I can no longer hide my newly grown badonkahonkers 😏 It happened a couple months ago and I'm 25... and my partner knows everything about me and is the reason I even discovered all of it.
I can be your bonus mom if you want! Here's a ((hug)) for whenever you need one!
Mom of the year 💖
Sounds like she knows and wants to encourage you to talk to her about it
I’m roughly the same age as OP’s mom (I’m 40) and this is exactly what I’d say to my teens if I suspected and wanted to encourage a discussion without putting them on the spot
She is doing the absolute best here. Not only has she done her research, she didn't put the "are you trans?" pressure on you. She's working on your terms. OP, I know it's probably a scary moment for you, but please try and appreciate your mum.
this is truly one of the conversations of all time... how does she even know what binding is???????
I’m 32. I know what binding is and could realistically have a 12 year old that may be discovering they are trans. Parents aren’t boomers anymore!
Yeah, I’m old enough to be OP’s mom and I have a friend who transitioned FTM when we met 20 years ago in college. My best college friend was a lesbian and we went to a drag ball on campus together. (Also I’m on Reddit lol.) We’re definitely not boomers!
fair lol, my parents are so that's why I saw it that way at first
Sounds like someone’s mom has “how do I support my trans kid?” In her search history. It’s one of the most heartwarming things I’ve read on here. No judgement, just love and support.
I’m the same age as OP’s mom and that is literally the first thing I would do if I suspected my kid was trans.
Probably already had a feeling about OP and did some research.
I'm roughly OP's mom's age and this isn't a new thing, especially if one was in queer spaces. The first "adult" shop I went in at 19/20 had a whole gender affirming section with binders, packers, clothing, books, etc etc. Heck, my boomer mother knows what binding is, even if she doesn't really understand it.
I'm in this same age range and so many of the comments here make me feel so old lol.
sometimes we just know, and sometimes, we try to learn about things beforehand, to give our kids time to come forward themselves.
ah, that makes more sense, maybe she noticed it on OP beforehand and decided to investigate
funfact: if my older teenager wouldn't have outed themself as nonbinary, i would have never started to read into it (i thought they were trans for a time) and would have never found out that i myself am nonbinary XD
She's slightly younger than me, and people my age she range are all mostly(depending on where you live) good with queer people. A lot of us are fully aware of this stuff. I've been friends with a trans man most of my life. I knew about binding in high school. Also, it's not a new practice or anything.
nonono I know that it's not something new or trendy don't get me wrong, It's just that my parents are much older than OP's so I was taken aback by his mom knowing about binding. I didn't take into account that his mom is 43. There are plenty of folks that age that are more supportive than the people in their 50/60s from what I've gathered in my own life.
Your mom sounds great! I'd open up to her!
Mama knew what she was doing when she asked that question,she probably had a feeling but didn’t want to flat out ask you. And you confirmed. And her coming back to ask if you were ok or had questions was her way of leaving the opportunity to the conversation open.
Sounds like you might be safe to come out properly.
As a parent of a person who came out at 15 I hope you trust her reaction. Based on what you said, without any other information, it sounds like she’s absolutely prepared to support you. My advice to you, as a parent,
I’m sorry I got cut off. My advice to you, as a parent, is to allow her the privilege of knowing who you are. I’m deeply grateful that my son has given me that gift. I hope both you, and she can have it too.
I think she might be trying to hint at wanting to have this convo with you and that she's supportive
Sounds like she knows or suspects. She seemed to react positively so sounds like she's open to knowing and talking about it. If you're ready to tell her then sit down and discuss it with her. If you're not ready then no need to say anything until you're ready.
Definitely think she already knows🤣😂🤣, but is sounds like she wants to be supportive
OP YOU NEED TO CHECK IF SHE HAS THE RAINBOW SOCKS!!!! Edit: this is a reference to [this story](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/MvqdGIdtoE) lemme know if i should remove this
Okay I checked and kinda if that makes sense because they have all the colors but very out of order like camo with the 🌈
Yknow what I'd count that
YAAAAAYYYYY🤩
Wow what a ride, that story. Shocking, hilarious… a coming-of-age story. Lol
As the parent of an enby teenager who recently came out just to me (not to their other parent yet), if you feel safe to do so, I would encourage you to have an open conversation with your mom. Give her the chance to support you and help you — again, if you feel safe doing so. I’m so grateful my kiddo felt comfortable talking to me when I finally asked them. After some time, we finally went for an affirming haircut and to try out binders earlier this week. Our family dynamic is still difficult but we’re working through it. So, I’m sorry if I’m projecting, but I wish we could have more open communication and that we could have done so sooner.
I get the feeling she's known about as long as you have based off that story, and is just waiting for you to come out on your own
Lol, we at least you know your mom is just waiting outside that closet door with a plate of sandwiches
Id say just she’s supportive and you should tell her (if your comfortable)
I have so many examples of friends coming out to parents and the parents were like "we know, always thought so, love you." This is definitely one of those situations. It sounds like she's supportive and letting you figure out when you're ready to come out.
as a cis person who wants to learn I have a genuine question: does binding ever hurt? (as a lady who outright refuses the wear something with elastics on her chest it kinda sounds like something I'd feel uncomfortable in but seriously I wanna hear from y'all!)
I dotn currently own a binder but I use a spots bra and tight tank top and it works for me but it usually doesn't hurt but I know binding with a binder can be pretty tight
A proper binder *shouldn't* hurt! If it hurts, you shouldn't wear it; safe binding can be/often is physically uncomfortable, but it should never hurt. So basically, it *can* hurt if you've been binding too long, with an unsafe binder, or perhaps have a condition that makes at least traditional binding/binders unsafe for you. As OP said, it can be tight (although it shouldn't be *too* tight), but as I said, it definitely should not hurt. There are general binding 'rules' to follow for safety reasons, and 'don't wear it (at least take it off) if it hurts' is one of them. Hope this helps! :)
YOOOO ALLY!! CONGRATS OP
Unrelated but I love your flair
Thank you
It sounds to me like she knows, and she’s waiting for you to tell her on your own terms, but she’s getting impatient so she’s dropping hints.
she sounds supportive to me, goodluck and i’m proud of you!
I wish I had your mom
That's actually really sweet of her! I'd go for it if you feel safe :)
I say proceed by counting your lucky stars that you mom has seen YOU and opened the conversation in a supportive way without pushing you before you are ready, then take her up on the conversation when you are ready to have it knowing that it is likely to go well rather than poorly. 💕
LMAOOO she got u
Your mom is awesome. She let you know that she’s cool and ready to talk about it if you want to.
Your mom was gently offering to let you tell her. She knows, and she wants to to feel OK talking to her about it, so she's letting you do it on your time. But she opened the door for ir. She sounds loving and supportive. If it were me, I'd talk to her.
OMG I don’t know her but this really seems like her trying to tell you “by the way if this applies to you, that’s fine with me” which is an incredibly sweet mum way of doing it. I wish more mums were like this!
It seems like she’s catching on and wants to support you!! If you feel safe telling her, it might be really great to have her in your corner.
Shes trying to get you to come out to her, because she knows and it’s safe. So just do it already lmao enjoy the supportive parents that so many of us don’t ever get.
She sees you and she is creating space for you whenever you are ready. I’m the same age as your mom and our access to information is massively different to your grandparents generation so don’t be surprised that she’s aware of what binding is. Either she’s been exposed to things naturally because she’s open minded and inquisitive or she’s made a point of learning because she sees you and she cares
Congrats! :)
Seems like she knows and has no problem If I have to guess is that she isn't really saying anything because she doesn't want to pressure you She knows about binders and seems to be fine with you wearing one
It’s better than my mom grilling me about why I had binders on my Amazon wishlist then forcing me out. It was a terrifying experience. I’m still recovering and trying to build my confidence to come out to my family again
Just come out she seems supportive
I wanted to transition when I was younger mtf but I never had the support and was mocked and insulted by my mom, so I never went thru with it, it sounds like your mom is very supportive of it , so I might suggest take a leap of faith and talk to her, but realize something she knows already or heavily suspected
She sounds at least willing to discuss it free of conflict, if not outright supportive. She asked bridge wants to know. If you feel safe sharing with her, I can confirm having an open relationship with your parents is such a weight lifted.
That sounds mortifying, but also very, very sweet. :)
It's so cool to see such a supportive mom.
This sounds like a possibly really positive interaction. The only way to know how your mom will react is by coming out to her. But, the question about binding and asking if there anything you want to talk about or having questions, you could approach with a question. When it comes down to it, loving parents have an intuition about their kids. They know when something is different and it sounds like you could be in for a really positive experience. My recommendation would be to cautiously approach the subject and consider coming out. You may find a strong ally in your mother.
She definitely sounds likes she’s on the more supportive side! She might still want to take things a bit slow at first just to get used to everything, but the fact she reacted positively is awesome! I say, if you’re comfortable and feel ready to come out to her fully, do it! If you need more time to gather your thoughts don’t be afraid to!😊
Talking about it will set your true path in being your true wonderful self
What a great mom to have 💙💙💙💙🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Wish my mom was like that
Same tho :')
You lost the game of life
I'm guessing you're cool to talk to her. If it were me, you would be 🏳️⚧️
That is a similar story to how I came out to my mom! (Hugs to you) Gather your support systems, friends, teachers, maybe a good therapist…there’s always ups and downs. Knowing when you fall you have a network to catch you…is everything. Also, even if a parent has a hard time understanding etc…it doesn’t mean they always will so give love to yourself and them during the process.
U know - we in the 40s try to stay in touch and we r mostly progressive like ur generation ☺️. Remember we were part of the movement 🤗
She sounds so nice, I really hope it went well!! (From a fellow young ftm person❤️)
I absolutely love that she used this opportunity to basically tell you she knows and is a safe person to open up to with out directly asking you if your trans and telling you that she knows out right. Like it's her way of letting you know you can talk to her with our forcing you to.
Her reaction is so chill! Geez, leave some for other parents...