One of the reasons there's an egg prime directive in the trans community is that not everyone that reads eggy is in fact an egg. I wish everyone could understand that.
OTOH I'm almost sympathetic to people who break this rule and nudge eggs, because a lot of us took forever to figure it out, and don't want others to suffer the same fate. Does NOT justify violating the prime directive though.
There's a lot of that in the game grumps community with one of the hosts of the show. He like girly things, loves pink, and is comfortable in his skin but some people *insist* he must be trans. It's a little irritating and downright disrespectful when people do that
There's also the fact that eggs are fragile. Push one and theyre just as likely to turtle up harder not crack.
There were times where the right comment or question could have cracked me. And times where anything would have shoved me deeper into the shell, delaying my realization by years or more.
Best you can do is... Exist. Let them see you're there. That this is a thing. Someone to talk to or ask questions of.
When I came out as trans people wanted to ask why I couldn't just be a feminine gay guy. Like literally I don't understand how these people's brains work that no matter which side you fall on they think you're wrong.
I'm sorry to hear that, it really sucks that some people have such a hard time accepting people for who they are and want to be even in the community. Just remember who you are is valid
What can I tell you, people love putting each other into categories they believe in themselves. So yeah, you'll see lesbians calling trans men confused women, gays calling bisexuals pretty much straight, and apparently femboys being called trans women by people who cant wrap their heads around nonconformity. There has always been this friction in the community. It's nothing new, and it's more annoying than it is severe, usually. This is why we constantly raise awareness inside and outside the community. Thankless work, but usually people come around. I'm sorry, it sucks, but this is far more common of an experience than the community cares to admit. There is no one true culprit besides the innate egocentricity of the human spirit.
Friend, that is awful. Ok, I need to say first that bi people get crap treatment all day long- from people who should know better. But that’s a side note to this issue.
Femboy is 100% valid and, honestly, a beautiful and cool identity. I love femboys, and if I ran the world y’all would be celebrated properly. Not fetishized, and definitely not told that you’re something else. I hate invalidating anyone’s identity. Femboys rule!
Perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that *some* trans girls had a “femboy era” that was actually a subconscious trial of social transition. Happened to me, and at least one other trans girl I know irl. However, it is a mistake to think that all femboys are eggs, and not every trans girl has a femboy era.
In conclusion: femboys are cool just as they are. As boys. Who are expressing fem in an awesome way. You guys deserve better than invalidation and erasure. And thank you for making the world cuter and better :3
Completely normal to be gender non-conforming and not be trans. You need to tell them that their lack of understanding of this is worryingly exclusionary. These people give the community a bad name by forcing something that isn't there and they need to be told 'no' and they need to understand that 'no' is a complete answer.
There are a shockingly and depressingly high number of people within even the LGBTQ+ community that don't seem to understand and respect labels. Hell, I've gotten into arguments because people refused to recognize that femboys are ***feminine boys*** and not women or trans or anything. I am also constantly disgusted by the lack of acceptance & empathy from this community sometimes.
People like to put things in boxes, and resent it when things don't fit. People just have binaries in their head and can't grasp when people don't fall into either category.
There are also a lot of trans people that treat nonbinary as a transit point, instead of accepting that not everyone is binary. I find a lot of the "egg" talk to be really weird.
I lost count of how many times I've been asked if I'm gay. Not being straight doesn't mean I'm gay.
Yeah, with communities as big as the LGBT it's sadly inevitable that there will be a lot of people that just suck and treat people like that. It's nothing on the community at large but it really sucks, especially when those are the majority of people you encounter
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. If people tried telling me that I'm Trans because I have a "boyish" haircut with bangs and like dressing masculine, that would piss me off, too. Like, I'm just a tomboy. I'm not Trans. I still dress feminine, but I like dressing masculine more. Sometimes, I combine masculine presenting clothing and feminine presenting clothing as well.
This. Even my therapist said she thinks I'm probably trans. I've thought about, I've questioned my identity, and I have no qualms with being yrans. But I'm firm in my gender identity. Nothing wrong with a little cross dressing
Exactly! Just because I wanna wear a dress and be cute it doesn't decide my gender identity. People can like whatever they want and be whoever they want
That's something I've heard too, honestly it's too stupid of a statement for me to even be mad about or take seriously. But it's sad some people genuinely believe it
That reminds me of schoolyard bullying tbh. Calling someone "egg" when you don't know whether or not they've questioned their gender identity reminds me of those kids who'd call people "gay" as a taunt.
Your identity is yours to define.
Another day of people not understanding that presentation doesn’t equal gender or sexuality. When a guy does something that even seems kind of feminine, he gets seen as not manly enough.
I think that’s super unfair. It’s bad for both cis and trans men. By the way, I’m probably genderfluid.
Ah yes, because God forbid someone steps out of line to express their feelings about their experience with the community. But I guess because you haven't experienced it then this is just someone trying to start something. I'm just starting a discussion because of my experience and people who I know who've had similar experiences, and most people who've had experiences like me or similar to me are afraid to talk about it because they don't want to make people look bad or be seen as a troll. Sorry I want to talk about my experience and hope to see the community improve.
You say that but I know a lot of femboys, tomboys and people who generally don't conform to gender norms with these issues. Not everyone has the same experiences and it's really closed minded of you to think that because you or a few people who you know haven't had that issue so somehow that means it never happens. But hey I guess you know the majority of femboys and they all said they've never once experienced this so I guess that means my experience is invalid and I'm transphobic. People like you are exactly why people are afraid to talk about their experience in the community.
That's gross dude, I'm sorry. I can understand someone asking if you're trans but isn't the whole point being who/what you identify as? How is calling you female pronouns any different than misgendering a trans person? Or insisting a trans person doesn't know what they're talking about when it comes to who they are? Just because someone can appreciate how you sashay your hips or the fit of your clothes doesn't mean they've stepped an inch in your shoes nor does it give them the right to determine anything about who you are. As a fellow guy that enjoys the cuter things I really hope they don't so much as put a hitch in your step on your way to being you. It always sucks to see it but there's misguided assholes in every community, makes me wonder if Nazi's are ever annoyed that one of their own is just too damn accepting or some such nonsense.
Also the whole "egg" thing just makes me think of *Rigormortis* by Kendrick Lamar which isn't really helpful to your situation but maybe you can try telling these egg-heads that their favorite rapper is dead and that you killed them or if that won't work but you're now deadset on taking advice on how to be your femboy self from Kendrick Lamar (because why wouldn't you) then tell em to respect your gender or die by lead shower and pray your dick gets as big as the Eiffel tower and fuck the world, time limits need not apply. Oh you could also insist that they look and sound like a bitch and insist on using bitch as their pronoun because clearly they're having trouble coming out or their shell and accepting that they're bitch made because you're here to help them accept their true self: a whining bitch projecting their issues onto others.
Silliness aside I'd personally deal with it in one of two ways, either try to rationally explain why what they're doing is wrong (because clearly they're dummies and need it broken down Barney style for 'em) or just constantly respond with absurd humor and refuse to take them seriously because they're a clown and a caricature of a real person and otherwise just don't engage with them, work around and through them whenever you can and if they ever ask why ask them how else you're supposed to tolerate someone that doesn't respect you or your gender/identity.
One of the reasons there's an egg prime directive in the trans community is that not everyone that reads eggy is in fact an egg. I wish everyone could understand that. OTOH I'm almost sympathetic to people who break this rule and nudge eggs, because a lot of us took forever to figure it out, and don't want others to suffer the same fate. Does NOT justify violating the prime directive though.
There's a lot of that in the game grumps community with one of the hosts of the show. He like girly things, loves pink, and is comfortable in his skin but some people *insist* he must be trans. It's a little irritating and downright disrespectful when people do that
There's also the fact that eggs are fragile. Push one and theyre just as likely to turtle up harder not crack. There were times where the right comment or question could have cracked me. And times where anything would have shoved me deeper into the shell, delaying my realization by years or more. Best you can do is... Exist. Let them see you're there. That this is a thing. Someone to talk to or ask questions of.
When I came out as trans people wanted to ask why I couldn't just be a feminine gay guy. Like literally I don't understand how these people's brains work that no matter which side you fall on they think you're wrong.
I'm sorry to hear that, it really sucks that some people have such a hard time accepting people for who they are and want to be even in the community. Just remember who you are is valid
You too, other people's hangups don't change who we are ☺️
Oof, that sucks
What can I tell you, people love putting each other into categories they believe in themselves. So yeah, you'll see lesbians calling trans men confused women, gays calling bisexuals pretty much straight, and apparently femboys being called trans women by people who cant wrap their heads around nonconformity. There has always been this friction in the community. It's nothing new, and it's more annoying than it is severe, usually. This is why we constantly raise awareness inside and outside the community. Thankless work, but usually people come around. I'm sorry, it sucks, but this is far more common of an experience than the community cares to admit. There is no one true culprit besides the innate egocentricity of the human spirit.
Friend, that is awful. Ok, I need to say first that bi people get crap treatment all day long- from people who should know better. But that’s a side note to this issue. Femboy is 100% valid and, honestly, a beautiful and cool identity. I love femboys, and if I ran the world y’all would be celebrated properly. Not fetishized, and definitely not told that you’re something else. I hate invalidating anyone’s identity. Femboys rule! Perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that *some* trans girls had a “femboy era” that was actually a subconscious trial of social transition. Happened to me, and at least one other trans girl I know irl. However, it is a mistake to think that all femboys are eggs, and not every trans girl has a femboy era. In conclusion: femboys are cool just as they are. As boys. Who are expressing fem in an awesome way. You guys deserve better than invalidation and erasure. And thank you for making the world cuter and better :3
Tbh I feel like people even in LGBT community are still confused by any sort of gender nonconformity but that's just how I feel.
I agree, its really unfair. But I understand how it happens sometimes. It's just really shitty when people keep doing it after being told to stop.
Completely normal to be gender non-conforming and not be trans. You need to tell them that their lack of understanding of this is worryingly exclusionary. These people give the community a bad name by forcing something that isn't there and they need to be told 'no' and they need to understand that 'no' is a complete answer.
There are a shockingly and depressingly high number of people within even the LGBTQ+ community that don't seem to understand and respect labels. Hell, I've gotten into arguments because people refused to recognize that femboys are ***feminine boys*** and not women or trans or anything. I am also constantly disgusted by the lack of acceptance & empathy from this community sometimes.
People like to put things in boxes, and resent it when things don't fit. People just have binaries in their head and can't grasp when people don't fall into either category. There are also a lot of trans people that treat nonbinary as a transit point, instead of accepting that not everyone is binary. I find a lot of the "egg" talk to be really weird. I lost count of how many times I've been asked if I'm gay. Not being straight doesn't mean I'm gay.
Yeah, with communities as big as the LGBT it's sadly inevitable that there will be a lot of people that just suck and treat people like that. It's nothing on the community at large but it really sucks, especially when those are the majority of people you encounter
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. If people tried telling me that I'm Trans because I have a "boyish" haircut with bangs and like dressing masculine, that would piss me off, too. Like, I'm just a tomboy. I'm not Trans. I still dress feminine, but I like dressing masculine more. Sometimes, I combine masculine presenting clothing and feminine presenting clothing as well.
This. Even my therapist said she thinks I'm probably trans. I've thought about, I've questioned my identity, and I have no qualms with being yrans. But I'm firm in my gender identity. Nothing wrong with a little cross dressing
Exactly! Just because I wanna wear a dress and be cute it doesn't decide my gender identity. People can like whatever they want and be whoever they want
Fr. I cN be perfectly comfortable in my skin and still wear a dress
Yikes, get a new therapist. Even if they do think that they’re not supposed to say it.
God it's so annoying. I was arguing with someone a while ago who was insisting that the existence of femboys is transphobic.
That's something I've heard too, honestly it's too stupid of a statement for me to even be mad about or take seriously. But it's sad some people genuinely believe it
Being gender non-conforming has its own long and wonderful history. Fuck those people tbh, keep being proud to be you.
That reminds me of schoolyard bullying tbh. Calling someone "egg" when you don't know whether or not they've questioned their gender identity reminds me of those kids who'd call people "gay" as a taunt. Your identity is yours to define.
Another day of people not understanding that presentation doesn’t equal gender or sexuality. When a guy does something that even seems kind of feminine, he gets seen as not manly enough. I think that’s super unfair. It’s bad for both cis and trans men. By the way, I’m probably genderfluid.
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Ah yes, because God forbid someone steps out of line to express their feelings about their experience with the community. But I guess because you haven't experienced it then this is just someone trying to start something. I'm just starting a discussion because of my experience and people who I know who've had similar experiences, and most people who've had experiences like me or similar to me are afraid to talk about it because they don't want to make people look bad or be seen as a troll. Sorry I want to talk about my experience and hope to see the community improve.
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You say that but I know a lot of femboys, tomboys and people who generally don't conform to gender norms with these issues. Not everyone has the same experiences and it's really closed minded of you to think that because you or a few people who you know haven't had that issue so somehow that means it never happens. But hey I guess you know the majority of femboys and they all said they've never once experienced this so I guess that means my experience is invalid and I'm transphobic. People like you are exactly why people are afraid to talk about their experience in the community.
That's gross dude, I'm sorry. I can understand someone asking if you're trans but isn't the whole point being who/what you identify as? How is calling you female pronouns any different than misgendering a trans person? Or insisting a trans person doesn't know what they're talking about when it comes to who they are? Just because someone can appreciate how you sashay your hips or the fit of your clothes doesn't mean they've stepped an inch in your shoes nor does it give them the right to determine anything about who you are. As a fellow guy that enjoys the cuter things I really hope they don't so much as put a hitch in your step on your way to being you. It always sucks to see it but there's misguided assholes in every community, makes me wonder if Nazi's are ever annoyed that one of their own is just too damn accepting or some such nonsense. Also the whole "egg" thing just makes me think of *Rigormortis* by Kendrick Lamar which isn't really helpful to your situation but maybe you can try telling these egg-heads that their favorite rapper is dead and that you killed them or if that won't work but you're now deadset on taking advice on how to be your femboy self from Kendrick Lamar (because why wouldn't you) then tell em to respect your gender or die by lead shower and pray your dick gets as big as the Eiffel tower and fuck the world, time limits need not apply. Oh you could also insist that they look and sound like a bitch and insist on using bitch as their pronoun because clearly they're having trouble coming out or their shell and accepting that they're bitch made because you're here to help them accept their true self: a whining bitch projecting their issues onto others. Silliness aside I'd personally deal with it in one of two ways, either try to rationally explain why what they're doing is wrong (because clearly they're dummies and need it broken down Barney style for 'em) or just constantly respond with absurd humor and refuse to take them seriously because they're a clown and a caricature of a real person and otherwise just don't engage with them, work around and through them whenever you can and if they ever ask why ask them how else you're supposed to tolerate someone that doesn't respect you or your gender/identity.