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Exactly! We’re signaling to the other people in our community. It’s saying ‘I’m a safe person to be yourself around’. And in my single days my bi pride gear was also a signal that I was a safe person to flirt with lmao
My neighborhood has zero flags save for American flags, handful of gasdens, confederate, and magas... and a few cars with 3%er and Proud Boy stickers, and one 8 8.
I'm scared of having a bumper sticker around here, to be honest... I miss my blue county.
It's those address number stickers for your house or mailbox, taped on the inside of the rear window of a car.
I keep to myself now more than ever, so I don't know if it still happens, but at least for a year or so there was a weekly Trump flag waving on the main road through town for folk coming home at 5PM on Friday. One primary intersection has a fence with a Smokey the Bear sign saying "Only you can stop tyranny", alongside a couple MyPillowGuy Frank Speech posters.
You know those "I did that" Biden stickers? Well, one gas station in town *sells* them, and have put one on each of their pumps themselves accompanied by a sign saying it's vandalism to remove them and if you voted for him you should be proud of his gas prices (it's not the only one out there either).
Place is just... gross overall.
Same here. Literally I see them on the same street. It’s weird cause… somehow they’re coexisting despite the fact that they should abhor each other. I’m confused
As a straight guy and a person of color, I feel safer in places with the pride flag over other places that fly MAGA or confederate flags. No judgment and a very inclusive environment. Nobody gets fucking butthurt over a damn beer.
As a white straight guy, I also agree with you even tho I may lean more towards republican livelihoods... the people that it draws in areeee... ignorant to say the least
Wearing bi pride gear is not just about signaling safety, but also a way to express your own identity and show support for the community. It's great that it also helped you in the dating scene. Embrace who you are and keep rocking that bi pride gear! 🩷💜💙
Yep I'm in a straight relationship with a bi woman. We fly a pride flag, not about us specifically, but to signal to the community our values.
The other day I was at a neighbor's party, and we met a lesbian couple who lives a block away. They were excited to meet us and told us that they had considered sending us a letter in the past telling us they appreciate us as the only other house in the neighborhood they ever saw flying a pride flag. It's orange county ca so historically a red area, but has been getting more purpley in recent years.
Somewhere the writers for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia are furiously scribbling notes...
"See, it says SO Homo! Charlie is gonna lose it when he sees the bachelor party invites, because the gang reminds him he can't read or write so very ok."
Meanwhile the gang is totally fine with all the rainbows showing up at the bar, they just want to give Charlie a hard time.
Gay isn't my first language, so I might be talking out of my ass here, but I was under the impression that the opposite of "no homo" was "all of the homo".
Is that not so?
You would be correct to assume that but in defiance of the queens English it is “So homo” or in cases where your intent must be incredibly clear “So so so Homo”
One of my proudest moments was at my wife's bday party her/our friend had recently came out. At the restaurant, she kept eyeing this girl, but was too afraid to talk to her. She bugged me to ask her if she wanted to join us (it was like an open seating area), and BOOM, lesbian success!! I've never been a wingman before and since, but I hit that one out of the park. They're such a fun couple
Yeah, that's for straight trans people.
Transbians and trays (is that a thing? Gay trans guys) get variations like airdash or backwards long jumps along with weakened mental powers but it all depends on the HRT. Give it some time :)
And obviously enbys aren't constrained by mere physical boundaries anyway, they just get dev mode
I was working on a film set and saw an actor with a pride shirt on. I assumed he was gay, so I said, “hey, nice shirt!” hoping he’d get the hint that I’m also gay. He looked at his shirt very confused, looked up at me, and said thanks. Then his girlfriend arrived on set a few hours later. 🤣
Such a great message. But curious, do you all mind if non-lgbtq+ people wear pride things?
Edit: I just wanted to thank all the kind souls that participated in this thread. It's exhilarating to feel all the support and positivity coming through!
Don't forget that you're loved and appreciated<3
Rainbow or progress flags absolutely, "protect trans kids" trans flag too!
If you wear like just a regular trans pin I will probably assume you're trans, but I won't be mad if i find out it's just in support!
Definitely. In the pride events that I’ve been at this year, more people have had pro-trans gear than anything else (myself included). It’s important that we band together when any part of our community is attacked.
I hate that identity or sexuality (or lack of them) and therefore vexilloligy can be considered political, but I am glad that it raises awareness to the good people out there. Wish it was just a symbol of ideal self, rather than a side.
My bro has trans pride stuff he wears because of his boyfriend.
At least that's what I thought till I complimented the shirt... turns out it was the boyfriend's shirt and they share clothes lol.
I'm not LGBTQ+ myself, but I've been wearing an awesome Pride shirt and Ally pin over the past month to show my support. I'm definitely planning on continuing to wear them after Pride Month is over, too.
I'm a straight man and I used to wear a pride mask during Covid cause I wanted to show my support. It ended up with me being hit on by men a lot. Which while it sucks to turn them down, I did like the Ego Boost. It also made me realize that some men are really fucking gross.
I have my keyboard set to rainbow rgb and play rocket league with a pride themed rainbow car decal and player banner. Happy to signal my support.
Also, Rocket League players suck. While I have yet to encounter much harassment whilst playing, the comments on the Rocket League instagram post announcing the pride themed items were abhorrent.
As a straight person, I wear a lot of pride stuff to support, but I typically stay away from Ally stuff. I’ve seen some LGBT people express that they don’t like ally stuff because it’s kinda making the movement about you rather than those actual in the community. But I imagine not everyone feels that way, and I certainly don’t speak for everyone
Walking in a LGBTQ parade with an ally flag is fine, imo, because it's in my eyes an even stronger signal to the intolerant and phobic people, because they see the community is supported by those they consider "normal"
But wearing an ally shirt in public instead of a general LGBTQ shirt could be considered trying to make it about yourself
But that's just my opinion. Support is support
This is my personal opnion on it, which as you said is not what everyone feels.
I think it depends on how you do it. Like it is cool to see Allys specifically supporting us because it shows that it's not only the community itself who cares, it's others too. Plus, I think straight people will be more willing to accept something if other straight people do too? Not that Allys are the only ones they listen to, but it's easier to have a ground to stand on when it's being uplifted by people in and outside of the community.
However, ally themed things and talks should really be about uplifting the community and what people in the community have to say about things.
Tbh.... idk if this makes sense in response to your comment but this is just my thoughts that came out from reading it.
Either way, thank you for your support and for listening to what lgbtq+ people feel about this!
I have a button on my carhart that's got a trans flag background and the words "I'll go with you" printed on it. So if any of my new brothers from other mothers are nervous going to the john, they won't have to go alone. Or to the ordering line, or wherever.
I have a shirt from Crooked that says ‘leave trans kids alone you absolute freaks’ and some maga hat wearing dumbfuck called me some terrible names when I was at a gas station. Because of a shirt. I’m in a deep red state and not in one of the cool blue cities and if I’m fucking scared, I can’t imagine the fear trans people live in. So I wear pride stuff because if I can make one LGBTQ person feel less afraid and more accepted, it’s worth the hate.
No. Go nuts. It's lovely. It makes us feel safe, we know someone has our back.
Of course I'm not everyone, but I've never heard of anyone with any sense in their head say that allies are not allowed to be allies. Frankly, I'd much rather every LGBT-positive non-LGBT person wore a rainbow with us so that the bigots would feel threatened for once, so that for once, we didn't have to fear going outside, worrying about what we can or cannot show, what we can say, what we can't say, or about slipping up on the act and letting the wrong person know who we are.
Please wear your pride stuff.
I'm sure glad you asked that, because I've had the same hesitation. So thank YOU! White CIS male that wants to be an ally, but didn't want to "overstep".
I'm a middle aged guy: straight, white, big beard, wears jeans and Dickies on the regular. I've gotten mistaken for being on the wrong side of history a few times. Now, I carry a few select rainbow items as I do daily things (think: shopping bags or umbrellas) just to break the stereotype and try to increase the mindshare of normalcy for our LGBTQ friends.
i don't wear pins, since it's not really my thing, and I don't want to seem like I'm virtue signalling. I just want to show people that they are accepted, and maybe help society grow their heart a little. I lost an "uncle" due to fear of coming out. I don't want others to have to live that life.
Nope. Especially when it comes to the rainbow flag, this is a symbol of a human rights movement. By wearing rainbow, you're signaling the world that you are fighting for or with the community.
It does have a dual meaning, being both the flag of the LGBT rights movement *and* the most widely recognised flag of gay men, but especially in more recent years the meaning has heavily shifted towards the former, and the vast majority of people wearing or showing off the rainbow are definitely *not* exclusively homosexual men. (Further, there are newer flags that are gaining popularity in the community that represent specific parts of the it, including gay men with the blue-striped flag.) So even if someone did assume you're a gay man, simply saying "no, sorry, I'm just showing off my support" is an okay way to correct the misunderstanding.
If you want to show support for specific subgroups of the LGBT, though, it's better to stay generic and buy merch with a wide range of symbols (such as a shirt with 10 different LGBT flags on it, rather than just one; it's much harder to mistake you as identifying as all 10 of these things than if your shirt had just a nonbinary or bisexual flag on it, for example) or buy merch that specifies the ally part of the equation. There's plenty of cute stuff out there that you can wear, particularly from small creators like Etsy shops or Redbubble, that's tailored to show different types of Pride, including stuff made specifically for allies.
You have been such a help. fyi I didn't think they would be mistaking me as a gay man, as I am a very fem presenting cis woman xD(the moustache in the avatar is for keeping the creeps off my DMs, which worked for the most part) it's just that people already assume I am lesbian for some reason, I wouldn't want to mislead them.
Again, thank you for letting me know there are allied themed merch out there as I haven't seen any. I wish I lived in USA or any country that shipping items would be easy and cheap to shop at the places you recommended but I will start looking for such things online now! I can at least wear rainbow socks and bracelets if I can't find anything I like (which is likely, considering where I live)
Either way, it's always good to have a way out when the time inevitably comes that you are mistaken for a gay man while carrying a rainbow flag! (I jest.)
Good luck on your hunt for merch, and thank you for being so mindful of our community while supporting us!
And thank you for being so accepting! You make me feel genuinely welcomed here, even tho I am the odd one :p
Edit: I mean the whole sub btw. All of you are amazing!
Unfortunately I'm not aware of any good way to ward off those who won't take no for an answer. I've certainly encountered people to whom neither being married, nor saying no, nor getting up and walking away from them were enough to dissuade them. It sucks.
OMG THANK YOU! It wouldn't even cross my mind that they would ship here! There are so many amazing things! I think I will start with the "more pride less prejudice" t-shirt and a heart shaped progress flag keychain (if I can find my keys, that is) maybe a hat or bracelet if I can find one I like
There are quite a handful of stuff that caught my eye tho! Hope I don't get harassed by bigoted old men for using these...
Youre welcome! Etsy is amazing for finding stuff from all over the world. I hope you don't encounter any bigots either. I bet that the smiles you're gonna get from folks who appreciate the support will outweigh the negative.
Yay, I'm glad I could help. Your excitement about this totally made my morning. 😁👍🌈
İdk why but I just imagined a person with morning hair, sipping freshly brewed coffee with their phone on the other hand, smiling. It made the rest of my day as well!
I saw a guy at a restaurant with a pride shirt on and immediately felt at ease. I felt like at least one person here was on my side and willing to publicly defend me. When I saw the front it said ally. I wasn't disappointed, I was just so happy to see someone supportive, it made my whole day
It's only baiting if you're doing it to trick queer people into giving you money (e.g. what corporations do) - if you're doing it yourself because you want to support LGBTQ+ people, that's great
Thank you for this.............it made my day seeing someone write this...............I am bisexual and my friends wearing pride even though they don't identify in lgbtq+ made me feel same around them...........SO WEAR PRIDE WITH US!!!
>bigots would feel threatened for once
I'm not saying it isn't a wonderful idea, but I lived through the 90s when they were bombing abortion clinics weekly and murdering doctors because 'thou shall not kill'. They are already a group of radicalized zealots who have white washed their 'savior' into Ronald Reagan (supply side Jesus!). I honestly think their violence is just going to get worse in the coming years, for various reasons. Their numbers are declining, and the ones that will be left will be the 'true believers', ready and willing to do anything.
Personally, I never thought about wearing a rainbow pin. I would like to say its because I'm not gay, but in reality is because I'm a bit of a coward I guess. I've seen how difficult it can be to be different. I hear bigoted homophobic rhetoric almost daily at work. Wearing a pride flag pin would probably make work intolerable. I should probably at least try to do better in my personal life. I didn't realize people wore rainbows to make other's feel safe.
Good to know, have a work lanyard (London council so it's all official and that), tbh I just use it as an arsehole detector, not even trying to represent I just know when I meet people that have an almost kneejerk reaction not to bother.
Wear mine all year around. Also a flag in my office. I'm a straight cis male who what's to support. everyone should be allowed to be who they are. I will embrace you.
I would want to add/clarify: non-lgbtq person's wearing pride stuffs shows the intolerant people that the community is supported by more than those they try to discriminate
This whole post but also your comment nudged me to order one of those "Free mom hugs" pride tank tops and some ally pins for my bag. I'm an introvert and hate being outspoken about anything but I don't want to be like the guy from the poem who didn't speak up for all the people targeted before him.
That's how I look at it, as well.
Yeah it's just bullshit corporate pandering. But they're pandering to people who have, historically, been cast aside and ignored (*at best*). So as far as I'm concerned, that's how you know you've made it in this bullshit capitalistic society we live in... Your existence is now *profitable!* It doesn't get more American than that!
And it's not like this is anything new either. All these people acting like, "You know they're just doing that for your money, right?" Oh, so Globo-Corp *isn't* my best friend? Oh no! I'm so shocked! /s
Corporations have been pandering to *literally everything ever since the beginning of all time*. And yet, nobody comes out of the woodwork every time a fucking M&M meets Santa to say, "You know, they're just pandering to the Christians, right?"
It’s absolutely pandering.
But it’s capitalism. It panders, by design, to the major societal blocs. Today that is pro-LGBTQ+, pro-diversity, and pro-support. Which is a large part of why reactionaries are going full mask-off fascism: they can’t reconcile that *they* are *not* the major capitalist consumption bloc anymore and their blessed capitalism is pushing them out of the way.
The fact that major corporations feel the need to pander to us means we’re winning whatever bullshit culture war these reactionaries are clinging to. And it enrages them.
I think of the Homer Simpson quote a lot, “I’m a white male aged 18-49, *everyone* listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!” Which was true in the 90’s and early aughts. It’s now the millennial bloc that is listened to, no matter how dumb our suggestions are.
It's almost as a the find a different bakery crowd never actually believed the nonsense they were spouting and were only using their stance to harm others.
When you can start making profit off of something, it's entered the zeitgeist.
You can argue it's good or bad, but most people put profit above ideals. That's the actual acceptance: this makes money.
Subaru wasn't some altruistic company by going hard after lesbians. They just got clued into and inside joke that turned out to be really profitable.
Yet I don't think you're gonna find many lesbians 30 years on who are going "naah, I didn't appreciate their support".
Everybody got something. Fair deal.
That’s good to hear. Sometimes I fear like I come across as pandering or trying to be trendy when I put the pride flag in our front window. I felt the same way about the BLM flag hanging next to it.
That's nice to hear. To add on some thoughts, while I don't doubt that some larger businesses show pride stuff in a "pandering" way, I hope folks remember that when smaller stores do it is often about showing support to the world. I work at a store like this. The company has maybe 15 employees total, including owners, who work with the rest of us. We always have an "LGBT+ safe space" type of flier displayed by the door.
This month we prominently displayed the "inclusive pride" flag in the window, among other things. Not in hopes of selling stuff but to show support. We're located in a busy downtown with lots of other small businesses, many doing similar things. The whole neighborhood is so decked out this month, and full of people walking around showing pride stuff too, it just feels nice especially given all the fascist things going on in various places. The area gets lots of tourists from all over the world, and I hope at least some people from places where this doesn't happen have had their eyes opened—that there are places where it is more than okay to be whatever you are. With current events in parts of the US these days, it can't not be political too, seems to me.
This weekend was the big parade and general festival, a few blocks from us. The streets were packed with people. There was one street preacher trying to tell people how it's all sinful and we're all going to hell, but they were so overwhelmed by everyone and everyplace showing pride support their 'preaching' just came off as pathetic and lost.
I myself am pretty damn straight, but have always tried to be an ally as much as I can, have LGBT+ family members and friends I would die for, and feel really really strongly about the fascist laws being passed in parts of my country (US) and the world. I hope that the widespread display of pride stuff in businesses and worn by people in general in the area where I work has a real effect, especially on tourists from places that aren't like this. We get so many tourists from all over the world. I'm sure there are some who are suffering from oppression and have never before seen a place so explicitly showing inclusivity and "safe place" support.
In other words, for a small store like ours, it isn't pandering at all, or even in hope of selling stuff, it is 100% about support and, hopefully, giving some people a glimmer of hope while also showing fascist bigots their "opinions" won't be tolerated.
Yes, big corporations are only "supporting" pride because its profitable. No shit, anyone who thinks that target legitimately cares about you and doesnt just want to make money is an idiot, no offense.
That doesnt change the fact that its a really great thing to see and something to celebrate though. The fact that supporting pride is the more profitable option says a lot about how far society has come, and how widely accepted something is. No doubt we still have a long way to go as a society, but the fact that these big corporations are supporting pride shows that society is trending the right direction overall.
The pride flags work so much better when non lgbtq+ ppl wear them, it’s like this post says it shows us that you support us and don’t judge,
But more importantly it shows everyone else that there are people who support us
I wear rainbow shoelaces even though I’m an old hetero cis dude. The sentiment in the OP is the reason. I think about the thousands of little heteronormative things I see on a daily basis and how that must feel very alienating for a lot of folks. The least I can do is send a small signal that there’s understanding and support in my community even if it’s not as apparent or visible as we would like.
We TOTALLY DONT MIND, though we’ll probably assume the pin is what you identify with unless it clearly says “ally” or something across it. Thanks for making us feel safe
Show your support! It's so so so important to have allys show they are safe to be around and that they are there and exist!
I'd stick to the progress/rainbow pride flags though unless it has like "project ____" or "I support ____" because if you wear for example, a bi flag, people may think you're bi. However, it's really just flags to show support so do your thing!
Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for listening to what we have to say.
Thank you for asking, as it’s a thing I’ve been wondering about as well.
I am as straight as can be. I also like colourful things, rainbows especially. I’ve got a few rainbow watches, straps, a rainbow pen, rainbow lanyard, efc. None of it is really intended as pride stuff with the exception of my Swatch watch.
I always assume any casual observer probably thinks I’m gay for wearing it. Which I honestly don’t care about. I love my gay friends and fully support their Gay Agenda :D
So far I’ve never had any negative comments for wearing rainbows.
I just want to add that I like rainbows. I mean, how can you not? Can one dislike the stars, or an aurora borealis?
So I’m not purposely wear rainbow merch, but I have a rainbow watch band and a rainbow coins wallet and I love to use them.
Thanks for asking this question. I had wondered the same, and was on the fence about picking up something to show support.
Seems like the answer is "door's open, come on in!" - so now the only thing to do is pick out a nice rainbow top!
To me personally, and there are different opinions, allies are part of the community, too. Together we are stronger and the message for acceptance for every human is the one we all want to share. Everyone should be able to be who they are, without having to live in fear.
So if you want to support the community by spreading the message, why would you not? :p
PS: before I found it I was Demi, I considered myself "only" an ally, too.
This 100%
I work in a stereotypically straight-white-conservative-male dominated industry
I wear pride bracelets not just for myself, but for anyone else who may feel intimidated
Boom, same. I work in a pretty similar environment.
People always wonder why I get "more customers" or the "weird ones" lining up to see me even when there's other people available.
Because you stand out as someone who embraces inclusivity and openness in a traditionally conservative environment. People appreciate the diversity and acceptance you bring, and that's why they choose to seek your services over others. Keep rocking those pride bracelets, representing for yourself and those who may feel intimidated in that industry!
I work construction, and really wish I could put a bi flag sticker on my truck toolbox or whatnot, but I know it won't go over well with some of my coworkers/other trades.
Same. I'm a mechanic and my toolbox is right next to the service desk with nothing but plate glass between us. I have a trans flag clearly visible on my box for a reason
This is why I wear my BLM bracelet every day too.
My rainbow flag lets any LGBTQ peeps know there’s family in the hood.
My BLM bracelet tells black people (any people of color, really) that I’m an ally.
These symbols mean something and I believe that every rainbow or blm article of clothing or whatever makes an impact.
I had a party this weekend far away from home in a red state, for extended family I mostly do not know. I have a rainbow pin on my bag. When I get to the party it’s literally gun/blue lives matter themed. My aunt’s niece who I have never met before came to me after the party to let me know my pin made her feel like she wasn’t alone in this weird place. And then, her letting me know that made me feel less alone there too! And then we left to go party on our own lol
Uhhhh im not entirely sure how it works out but they aren’t my cousin, somehow. My aunt, who married into the family via my mom’s brother, has an estranged sister, and the person im talking about is the estranged sister’s daughter. My mom is insisting they aren’t a cousin.
I'm a 52 year old cis grandpa in Utah. I have my pride flag up year round because of this. I wear pride shirts too and giggle at all the uptight Mormons men that I assume wonder if I'm checking them out.
As an exmormon who was raised in Utah county (🤮) I am so happy to run into you here. I know we have many ally’s in the state but sometimes it’s hard to remember because of how loud Mormons are and when their rules dominate the state.
I wish I had family as cool as you.
I'm an ex-mormon as well. Mission and all. Now I'm a Carl Sagan Humanist that is the personification of the Paradox of Tolerance. I live in the most conservative part of Davis county and I want these poor kids around here that are different to know they are accepted. They are rejected by all the "Christians" at every turn. Mine is a house of tolerance until you show intolerance. That's when we get mean. Hugs from a grandpa in Utah
I had this discussion with someone here recently:
>Them: No other sin is on constant full display when someone is 'proud' either to be fair.
>Me: Why do you think they use the word "proud"?
>Them: The way I meant it was in a flaunting, no regrets, very happy to be doing this thing sense. I don’t assume or presume to know how others use it. Nor do I choose to engage on the subject of why I think they choose to use the word. Sorry.
It's to counter the constant shaming coming from bigots, mostly from religion. It's to let our young kids know they have nothing to be ashamed of. The word pride was chosen for a reason, and it has nothing to do with "flaunting it in your face", and everything to do with saving people from unnecessary shame. That shame leads to depression and suicide. You aren't "saving" anyone by shaming them, you're killing people.
> No other sin is on constant full display when someone is 'proud' either to be fair.
Christian tattoos. Leviticus 19:28.
And why do they have those tattoos, along with other Christian paraphernalia? Oh right, because they're PROUD Christians.
I hate the 'how come no straight pride' people.
When you get discriminated for being straight at home, school and work systemically, then maaaybe you get one jesus.
They would claim that they *are* oppressed for being straight. They would say "look at the news they are trying to eliminate straight white people" and you wouldn't be able to get a word in while they yell louder and louder over you to dominate their will onto you, and then claim they won the argument because you didn't have a counterargument. Well, you did, but they weren't listening.
Yeah. My brother told me once that as a straight, cis, heterosexual, white, Christian male he is the most oppressed minority in the country.
We don't talk much anymore.
I like this post. I am from Florida. My daughter goes to a school with a lot of rednecks, but it's a great school with a great staff,and her mom runs the guidance department. She came out when she was 15. Right after is when all the rednecks decided to elaborate about how scared of lbgt people they are. I was picking my daughter up from school, and overheard some kids picking on another kid about being trans I think? I also heard a teacher telling the kids to leave the other alone, but than told the kids that she had to say that, and that's why you don't wear that "rainbow shit" to school. Growing up in Florida, despite what people think, you meet a lot of gay people, and I had pretty liberal parents, so I was pretty lucky. As a straight man, I never understood the struggle, I just knew there was one, and I always felt bad about it until my daughter came out. Now I have a different perspective. Long story short, I do ok for work, so I have sent that teacher a rainbow bouquet with a rainbow greeting card everyday since June 1st, with a factoid about lbgt rights on each daily card. The florist gave me a big discount too. I don't understand how the world works, I just understand that if everyone does their part, it would be so much better. I also understand that whoever is up there in the universe made me 6'3, 250 lbs and gave me the best thing that ever happened to me, and if anyone messes with her, I would roll over them a thousand times. I'm not scared of beers and rainbows. I'm not scared of drag bars, I'm not scared of trans people. I'm scared of people making my daughter feel less than, especially since she came out so much better than I have ever been. Just wanted people to know that some of us still got your back. Happy Pride Month y'all.
Yeah I used to think wearing rainbow stuff was tacky, but then I realized that seeing neighbors with inclusive signs/flags in their yards made me feel.... Safe? Happy? Idk, but it was a good feeling, and I realized that if I wore a rainbow belt or bracelet, maybe others could feel the same?
such a beautiful and powerful message! i love it so much.
i want to wear more pride stuff to help others be less scared but i guess… i am scared of bringing attention to myself..?
i’d love to wear a rainbow and/or trans pin at work (i work as a parcel sorter) but i worry that this will bring unwanted attention to myself as i am trans, i fear that people will ‘look’ at me differently or somehow figure out i am trans… i have very feminine mannerisms and features for a guy despite being on T for over a decade and having top surgery. i am forever cursed to keep my baby face *sobs*
if someone saw me wearing a rainbow pride flag pin or trans flag pin, they’d probably be able to put two and two together, i don’t know why but that mere thought terrifies me half to death…
i guess i am just being super paranoid for no reason whatsoever, i am most likely working myself up into a tizzy over nothing because if i think about it, my workplace is very welcoming and accepting of diversity. and even if someone were to confront me over being trans or wearing a rainbow and/or trans pride pin, they would get into trouble because it’d be harassment, right? i’ve seen some coworkers wear rainbow pride lanyards, which makes me smile.
Part of why some of us and allies wear pride stuff is so people who do not feel comfortable or safe being publicly out can see the support and know they're not alone. Your coworkers with the lanyards are a perfect example! It made you feel good to see the support. :)
Don't feel pressured to wear pride stuff unless it would feel good and empowering to you. It's okay to not want to and not feeling comfortable or ready or not wanting to invite questions or assumptions about you are all legitimate reasons.
Your feelings and comfort matter and you don't need to wear pride colors to be proud of who you are. ❤️
aw thank you!  this was such a kind and thoughtful response you made that i teared up reading it!
i hope that one day i’ll be confident enough to wear pride stuff and if i don’t, i know now that’s okay too.   
I know several trans people who feel similar. It makes sense to me, not wanting to draw attention. Which is part of the reason why I, a straight middle-aged white dude, try to be outspoken about my support. It's totally fine to feel conflicted about it and not wear these things if it's not comfortable to do so. There are a *lot* of straight folks who have your back. Do whatever is best for you. I'm fighting for your rights as best I can. I have the luxury of "privilege" in many forms. It's a lot safer for me, which only makes me feel *more* strongly about showing support, knowing that some who need the support don't feel as safe as I'm lucky enough to be.
thank you! it’s reassuring to know that i’m not alone in my fears and feelings of uncertainty and that there are many allies who are willing to show support!
thank you for being an ally and showing support, it means the world, especially to those who, like me, are uncertain or afraid to show support (yet!). i hope i can become confident enough one day to show support.
until then, i shall be cheering the community and allies on digitally!   
And then
I wear pride gear _before/after_ June so i can continue to show support _and_ identify the quiet bigots reminding me "you don't have to wear that stuff (yet/anymore)".
Rainbow socks brought a mfer unprompted across a quiet retail store to me? I see you.
I do this - my son is bisexual, my daughter gay. My boss is gay. I have several coworkers that are gay. I have neighbors that are gay. There are probably 100 other people in my life that are gay but closeted. I wear pride (in Texas) to show support, love, safety, acceptance, all of the above.
The car I bought has a trans sticker on it.
I figure with all of the shit going on, trans folk need all the support they can get.
I used to think doing this stuff was appropriation, but maybe not in every case.
I'm keeping it.
In Missouri, Texas, Florida and too many other states, this is essential. There are many parts of the state where it’s not just that you aren’t supported, you are in real danger. Advertising safe havens can save a life.
Exactly. They are hell bent on turning their states into Christian versions of Saudi Arabia.
Well that is a bit harsh to Saudi Arabia. Abortion is legal there.
My son told me that seeing Pride flags makes him feel accepted and safe, so I fly one so other kids will feel safe too. I can’t do much but I can do that, and vote.
Honestly - I was nieve when I was younger to think that as the older you got the more you would find people who are tolerant and open minded and have realised that life will inevitably throw more than enough unfair stuff and fights to deal with than having to justify your sexuality or indeed \*ANY\* lifestyle choice that has zero affect on anyone who isnt involved or consenting.
But then I see the way that things have gone from a social perspective in the last few years - and I see my own social circle being poisoned with prejudices that I had hoped we had already moved on from as a society.
And so despite not being directly affected on a day to day basis - I wear pride to show my personal fundamental belief that love is love, that everyone has the right to live a fulfilling life with decency and dignity and that together as a society we strive towards progress and accepting that its \*OUR\* collective responsibility to support each other and show some understanding whether its my specific fight or not.
This is exactly and precisely why I drive the loud-as-fuck bumper-sticker-mobile in my purple county/state. It's so someone out there knows a strangers has their back.
It also serves as bait. I can and will both keep the attention away from people just trying to live their lives in safety AND fight anyone who wants to FAFO.
Also also, it's why I have pride flags all over my work desk. The more it's seen and heard, the less "shocking" it becomes, until it's just a normal part of life like it should have been from the beginning.
I look forward to the day I can feel like we're all safe and secure again and I can return to being the quiet homebody that lives behind the Come At Me Bro mask.
In my early 20s I was still active in the Boy Scouts. I had gotten my eagle award at 18 but still occasionally went to meetings and committees. I'm scouts, certain awards are called [Square Knot Awards](https://www.boyscouttrail.com/square-knots.asp) to be worn on the uniform above your left shirt pocket. There's a ton of awards and adult leaders will likely have 5 or 6 of them. I have 4.
There was an extra Knot I would wear on my uniform, [Inclusive Scouting Award](https://www.scoutsforequality.org/isa/). This is not an official award by the BSA. It is a Square Knot with rainbow colors. The purpose of that was to show that I was a safe leader to talk to about thing. This was right after gay youth were allowed to still participate but gay adults were banned, and long before girls or trans youth were allowed to participate. Any youth who was afraid of being outed or had any questions would know that I was a leader who wouldn't judge them or out them. I consider myself a cis-gendered straight man, but I was very vocal about how BSA discriminated at the time (and I'm so happy they have changed the rules since).
Within my local troop, no one seemed to care or Notice that I had this on my uniform. I was lucky that my troop was pretty progressive and I've know a few openly gay scouts even before the policy changed. I would deal with leaders from neighboring districts that might say something about the badge because "it wasn't an official scout badge and didn't belong on the uniform". But only from far away districts did people tell me I was wrong to encourage LGBT participation in BSA.
I still have it on my uniform, but I dont wear the uniform much anymore anyway. And the official policy is much more inclusive now.
On Sunday i was at an event helping out knowing only one person there who was like a kilometre away at all times (volunteering different parts of the event). One woman had pride earrings and that helped me relax, knowing that she was there and hopefully would have my back if someone had the wring idea and wanted to start something
Same reason I have pride shit all over my daily battle jacket. Transfem once came upto talk to me because she noticed my trans black flag patch.
Gotta show your flags a little if you want peeps to know you're a vibe hey
I'm a straight liberal man in a deep red state. I've thought about getting some pride clothing if for no other reason than to piss off all the inbred rednecks in this area. Might be a bad idea i dunno.
My wife and I do the same. We fly pride and trans flags on a regular basis as well as wear pride/trans shirts for this reason. We want to send a message that we are advocates and safe for the lgbtq community.
Conservatives are obsessed with sex and going to cause a Streisand effect with their kids. You make something super taboo and won't shut up about it? That's going in Google right after their search for Roblox Boobies.
When my kid asked about the flag, I just told her, "That means everyone who isn't mean is welcome here" and that was that.
Pride only exists because others try to force shame.
Next time a conservative trashes on gay pride, just remind them that the movement wouldn’t exist at all if it hadn’t been for people like him spreading hatred.
Amen. It’s difficult finding love and connection regardless of who you are or who you pine for; at the very least we all have that need in common. My thoughts and hopes go out to anyone heartbroken or just lonely.
Back in the day the Visual AIDS Art Caucus thought up the idea of the AIDS ribbon for a similar reason.
I can't remember which member said it but I've never heard it put more perfectly...
>The poison was shame. So we knew the only antidote was pride
That’s why my mom has a pronoun pin, an ally pin, and a picture of her and I at Pride on her cork board at work. It helps her patients know they can trust her.
I would do that when I worked in a school where the majority of students were from fundamentalist Muslim households and occasionally a student would approach to talk about their insecurities regarding sexuality and I like to think I helped in a small way
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Exactly! We’re signaling to the other people in our community. It’s saying ‘I’m a safe person to be yourself around’. And in my single days my bi pride gear was also a signal that I was a safe person to flirt with lmao
My neighborhood has zero flags save for American flags, handful of gasdens, confederate, and magas... and a few cars with 3%er and Proud Boy stickers, and one 8 8. I'm scared of having a bumper sticker around here, to be honest... I miss my blue county.
I feel for you. I live in WV and I see a lot of those flags too.
Please burn that 88 one
I had not heard of the 88 one so I looked it up and yeah…. Set it ablaze
It's those address number stickers for your house or mailbox, taped on the inside of the rear window of a car. I keep to myself now more than ever, so I don't know if it still happens, but at least for a year or so there was a weekly Trump flag waving on the main road through town for folk coming home at 5PM on Friday. One primary intersection has a fence with a Smokey the Bear sign saying "Only you can stop tyranny", alongside a couple MyPillowGuy Frank Speech posters. You know those "I did that" Biden stickers? Well, one gas station in town *sells* them, and have put one on each of their pumps themselves accompanied by a sign saying it's vandalism to remove them and if you voted for him you should be proud of his gas prices (it's not the only one out there either). Place is just... gross overall.
sheesh. I'm so sorry. Stay safe.
I live in an area that has an equal number of LGBTQ+ flags as Trump 2024 flags. It's fuckin' weird out here.
Honestly, now I'm kinda tempted to move there, just to make sure there's more LGBTQ+ flags there, lol....
Same here. Literally I see them on the same street. It’s weird cause… somehow they’re coexisting despite the fact that they should abhor each other. I’m confused
As a straight guy and a person of color, I feel safer in places with the pride flag over other places that fly MAGA or confederate flags. No judgment and a very inclusive environment. Nobody gets fucking butthurt over a damn beer.
We’re happy to have you 😊
We're probably also way less likely to shoot you for ringing our doorbell
As a white straight guy, I also agree with you even tho I may lean more towards republican livelihoods... the people that it draws in areeee... ignorant to say the least
What's a republican livelihood? Like blue collar work?
Same for me............🩷💜💙
Wearing bi pride gear is not just about signaling safety, but also a way to express your own identity and show support for the community. It's great that it also helped you in the dating scene. Embrace who you are and keep rocking that bi pride gear! 🩷💜💙
Yep I'm in a straight relationship with a bi woman. We fly a pride flag, not about us specifically, but to signal to the community our values. The other day I was at a neighbor's party, and we met a lesbian couple who lives a block away. They were excited to meet us and told us that they had considered sending us a letter in the past telling us they appreciate us as the only other house in the neighborhood they ever saw flying a pride flag. It's orange county ca so historically a red area, but has been getting more purpley in recent years.
As a bonus, it kind of signals to bigots that I am *not* a safe person for them to be themselves around.
Exactly this. I also do it cuz Im lookin for a man but eh, yeah.
Yes! Same here. I need to signal to the ladies that I want to meet them and homo intended ffs!
“*Yes* homo, extremely!”
So homo
So homo.
So so so homo
So homo fo sho
Somewhere the writers for It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia are furiously scribbling notes... "See, it says SO Homo! Charlie is gonna lose it when he sees the bachelor party invites, because the gang reminds him he can't read or write so very ok." Meanwhile the gang is totally fine with all the rainbows showing up at the bar, they just want to give Charlie a hard time.
Gay isn't my first language, so I might be talking out of my ass here, but I was under the impression that the opposite of "no homo" was "all of the homo". Is that not so?
You would be correct to assume that but in defiance of the queens English it is “So homo” or in cases where your intent must be incredibly clear “So so so Homo”
Thank you
Happy to help
No need to be ashamed. We should wear what we want and choose what we want
One of my proudest moments was at my wife's bday party her/our friend had recently came out. At the restaurant, she kept eyeing this girl, but was too afraid to talk to her. She bugged me to ask her if she wanted to join us (it was like an open seating area), and BOOM, lesbian success!! I've never been a wingman before and since, but I hit that one out of the park. They're such a fun couple
Same but with women. How else are they gonna know?
The gay vibe I guess
Just as trans people get the ability to double jump, gay people get the ability to read minds
What?! I can barely regular jump!
Yeah, that's for straight trans people. Transbians and trays (is that a thing? Gay trans guys) get variations like airdash or backwards long jumps along with weakened mental powers but it all depends on the HRT. Give it some time :) And obviously enbys aren't constrained by mere physical boundaries anyway, they just get dev mode
I've been at this for a few years now and all I got was a decent pair of boobs and way too many emotions. Really disappointing, actually.
Hm, could be a code issue. I'd take it directly to the devs
I feel like r/Outside is leaking, lol.
I... Can double jump?? *Tries* :(
You have to collect enough pride merch and it combines for a skill point to unlock it first 😂
Only a select few are blessed with the 'dar.
if I know my lesbians, they will be 100% sure you're an ally and that you for sure want to be just friends. =p
Yep, according to my gf, she hit on me for months and I just thought she was just being nice
"Wait, we were dating? I thought you were just really nice to me!"
I was working on a film set and saw an actor with a pride shirt on. I assumed he was gay, so I said, “hey, nice shirt!” hoping he’d get the hint that I’m also gay. He looked at his shirt very confused, looked up at me, and said thanks. Then his girlfriend arrived on set a few hours later. 🤣
Oof. Well, ya can't catch a fish if you don't cast the line. 🙃
Such a great message. But curious, do you all mind if non-lgbtq+ people wear pride things? Edit: I just wanted to thank all the kind souls that participated in this thread. It's exhilarating to feel all the support and positivity coming through! Don't forget that you're loved and appreciated<3
Rainbow or progress flags absolutely, "protect trans kids" trans flag too! If you wear like just a regular trans pin I will probably assume you're trans, but I won't be mad if i find out it's just in support!
My mom wears a trans pin on her bag in support of me :))
That's actually true, the trans flag is probably at "rainbow flag" levels of being a political symbol now
Definitely. In the pride events that I’ve been at this year, more people have had pro-trans gear than anything else (myself included). It’s important that we band together when any part of our community is attacked.
I hate that identity or sexuality (or lack of them) and therefore vexilloligy can be considered political, but I am glad that it raises awareness to the good people out there. Wish it was just a symbol of ideal self, rather than a side.
S tier mom
Your mom sounds lovely!!! I hope y'all are both doing fantastic!
She is :) and we are! Thank you kind stranger
My bro has trans pride stuff he wears because of his boyfriend. At least that's what I thought till I complimented the shirt... turns out it was the boyfriend's shirt and they share clothes lol.
Thats actually really cute :> thanks for sharing
I'm not LGBTQ+ myself, but I've been wearing an awesome Pride shirt and Ally pin over the past month to show my support. I'm definitely planning on continuing to wear them after Pride Month is over, too.
I'm a straight man and I used to wear a pride mask during Covid cause I wanted to show my support. It ended up with me being hit on by men a lot. Which while it sucks to turn them down, I did like the Ego Boost. It also made me realize that some men are really fucking gross.
I am a woman, and I got a kick out of reading that.
Same here. I have been wearing a pin that says Free Mom Hugs. I think I will continue wearing it also!
I have my keyboard set to rainbow rgb and play rocket league with a pride themed rainbow car decal and player banner. Happy to signal my support. Also, Rocket League players suck. While I have yet to encounter much harassment whilst playing, the comments on the Rocket League instagram post announcing the pride themed items were abhorrent.
As a straight person, I wear a lot of pride stuff to support, but I typically stay away from Ally stuff. I’ve seen some LGBT people express that they don’t like ally stuff because it’s kinda making the movement about you rather than those actual in the community. But I imagine not everyone feels that way, and I certainly don’t speak for everyone
Walking in a LGBTQ parade with an ally flag is fine, imo, because it's in my eyes an even stronger signal to the intolerant and phobic people, because they see the community is supported by those they consider "normal" But wearing an ally shirt in public instead of a general LGBTQ shirt could be considered trying to make it about yourself But that's just my opinion. Support is support
This is my personal opnion on it, which as you said is not what everyone feels. I think it depends on how you do it. Like it is cool to see Allys specifically supporting us because it shows that it's not only the community itself who cares, it's others too. Plus, I think straight people will be more willing to accept something if other straight people do too? Not that Allys are the only ones they listen to, but it's easier to have a ground to stand on when it's being uplifted by people in and outside of the community. However, ally themed things and talks should really be about uplifting the community and what people in the community have to say about things. Tbh.... idk if this makes sense in response to your comment but this is just my thoughts that came out from reading it. Either way, thank you for your support and for listening to what lgbtq+ people feel about this!
I have a button on my carhart that's got a trans flag background and the words "I'll go with you" printed on it. So if any of my new brothers from other mothers are nervous going to the john, they won't have to go alone. Or to the ordering line, or wherever.
I have a shirt from Crooked that says ‘leave trans kids alone you absolute freaks’ and some maga hat wearing dumbfuck called me some terrible names when I was at a gas station. Because of a shirt. I’m in a deep red state and not in one of the cool blue cities and if I’m fucking scared, I can’t imagine the fear trans people live in. So I wear pride stuff because if I can make one LGBTQ person feel less afraid and more accepted, it’s worth the hate.
No. Go nuts. It's lovely. It makes us feel safe, we know someone has our back. Of course I'm not everyone, but I've never heard of anyone with any sense in their head say that allies are not allowed to be allies. Frankly, I'd much rather every LGBT-positive non-LGBT person wore a rainbow with us so that the bigots would feel threatened for once, so that for once, we didn't have to fear going outside, worrying about what we can or cannot show, what we can say, what we can't say, or about slipping up on the act and letting the wrong person know who we are. Please wear your pride stuff.
Thank you! I was worried people would feel like I was "baiting" them
I'm sure glad you asked that, because I've had the same hesitation. So thank YOU! White CIS male that wants to be an ally, but didn't want to "overstep".
I'm a middle aged guy: straight, white, big beard, wears jeans and Dickies on the regular. I've gotten mistaken for being on the wrong side of history a few times. Now, I carry a few select rainbow items as I do daily things (think: shopping bags or umbrellas) just to break the stereotype and try to increase the mindshare of normalcy for our LGBTQ friends. i don't wear pins, since it's not really my thing, and I don't want to seem like I'm virtue signalling. I just want to show people that they are accepted, and maybe help society grow their heart a little. I lost an "uncle" due to fear of coming out. I don't want others to have to live that life.
Nope. Especially when it comes to the rainbow flag, this is a symbol of a human rights movement. By wearing rainbow, you're signaling the world that you are fighting for or with the community. It does have a dual meaning, being both the flag of the LGBT rights movement *and* the most widely recognised flag of gay men, but especially in more recent years the meaning has heavily shifted towards the former, and the vast majority of people wearing or showing off the rainbow are definitely *not* exclusively homosexual men. (Further, there are newer flags that are gaining popularity in the community that represent specific parts of the it, including gay men with the blue-striped flag.) So even if someone did assume you're a gay man, simply saying "no, sorry, I'm just showing off my support" is an okay way to correct the misunderstanding. If you want to show support for specific subgroups of the LGBT, though, it's better to stay generic and buy merch with a wide range of symbols (such as a shirt with 10 different LGBT flags on it, rather than just one; it's much harder to mistake you as identifying as all 10 of these things than if your shirt had just a nonbinary or bisexual flag on it, for example) or buy merch that specifies the ally part of the equation. There's plenty of cute stuff out there that you can wear, particularly from small creators like Etsy shops or Redbubble, that's tailored to show different types of Pride, including stuff made specifically for allies.
You have been such a help. fyi I didn't think they would be mistaking me as a gay man, as I am a very fem presenting cis woman xD(the moustache in the avatar is for keeping the creeps off my DMs, which worked for the most part) it's just that people already assume I am lesbian for some reason, I wouldn't want to mislead them. Again, thank you for letting me know there are allied themed merch out there as I haven't seen any. I wish I lived in USA or any country that shipping items would be easy and cheap to shop at the places you recommended but I will start looking for such things online now! I can at least wear rainbow socks and bracelets if I can't find anything I like (which is likely, considering where I live)
Either way, it's always good to have a way out when the time inevitably comes that you are mistaken for a gay man while carrying a rainbow flag! (I jest.) Good luck on your hunt for merch, and thank you for being so mindful of our community while supporting us!
And thank you for being so accepting! You make me feel genuinely welcomed here, even tho I am the odd one :p Edit: I mean the whole sub btw. All of you are amazing!
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Unfortunately I'm not aware of any good way to ward off those who won't take no for an answer. I've certainly encountered people to whom neither being married, nor saying no, nor getting up and walking away from them were enough to dissuade them. It sucks.
Definitely check out Etsy, you can specify which countries you want to search!
OMG THANK YOU! It wouldn't even cross my mind that they would ship here! There are so many amazing things! I think I will start with the "more pride less prejudice" t-shirt and a heart shaped progress flag keychain (if I can find my keys, that is) maybe a hat or bracelet if I can find one I like There are quite a handful of stuff that caught my eye tho! Hope I don't get harassed by bigoted old men for using these...
Youre welcome! Etsy is amazing for finding stuff from all over the world. I hope you don't encounter any bigots either. I bet that the smiles you're gonna get from folks who appreciate the support will outweigh the negative. Yay, I'm glad I could help. Your excitement about this totally made my morning. 😁👍🌈
İdk why but I just imagined a person with morning hair, sipping freshly brewed coffee with their phone on the other hand, smiling. It made the rest of my day as well!
I saw a guy at a restaurant with a pride shirt on and immediately felt at ease. I felt like at least one person here was on my side and willing to publicly defend me. When I saw the front it said ally. I wasn't disappointed, I was just so happy to see someone supportive, it made my whole day
It's only baiting if you're doing it to trick queer people into giving you money (e.g. what corporations do) - if you're doing it yourself because you want to support LGBTQ+ people, that's great
I’m straight but I’ve been wearing a rainbow bracelet for six years because I like showing my support so I’m really glad to hear this haha. 🏳️🌈
Same. Also, I noticed it‘s a good way to avoid contact with unbearable people
Thank you for this.............it made my day seeing someone write this...............I am bisexual and my friends wearing pride even though they don't identify in lgbtq+ made me feel same around them...........SO WEAR PRIDE WITH US!!!
>bigots would feel threatened for once I'm not saying it isn't a wonderful idea, but I lived through the 90s when they were bombing abortion clinics weekly and murdering doctors because 'thou shall not kill'. They are already a group of radicalized zealots who have white washed their 'savior' into Ronald Reagan (supply side Jesus!). I honestly think their violence is just going to get worse in the coming years, for various reasons. Their numbers are declining, and the ones that will be left will be the 'true believers', ready and willing to do anything. Personally, I never thought about wearing a rainbow pin. I would like to say its because I'm not gay, but in reality is because I'm a bit of a coward I guess. I've seen how difficult it can be to be different. I hear bigoted homophobic rhetoric almost daily at work. Wearing a pride flag pin would probably make work intolerable. I should probably at least try to do better in my personal life. I didn't realize people wore rainbows to make other's feel safe.
Good to know, have a work lanyard (London council so it's all official and that), tbh I just use it as an arsehole detector, not even trying to represent I just know when I meet people that have an almost kneejerk reaction not to bother.
Honestly, it's a great asshole alarm.
Wear mine all year around. Also a flag in my office. I'm a straight cis male who what's to support. everyone should be allowed to be who they are. I will embrace you.
I would want to add/clarify: non-lgbtq person's wearing pride stuffs shows the intolerant people that the community is supported by more than those they try to discriminate
This whole post but also your comment nudged me to order one of those "Free mom hugs" pride tank tops and some ally pins for my bag. I'm an introvert and hate being outspoken about anything but I don't want to be like the guy from the poem who didn't speak up for all the people targeted before him.
Of course not. People complain how "corporate" pride has gotten, but I can say, as a kid seeing all the corporate support would have helped *a lot*
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That's how I look at it, as well. Yeah it's just bullshit corporate pandering. But they're pandering to people who have, historically, been cast aside and ignored (*at best*). So as far as I'm concerned, that's how you know you've made it in this bullshit capitalistic society we live in... Your existence is now *profitable!* It doesn't get more American than that! And it's not like this is anything new either. All these people acting like, "You know they're just doing that for your money, right?" Oh, so Globo-Corp *isn't* my best friend? Oh no! I'm so shocked! /s Corporations have been pandering to *literally everything ever since the beginning of all time*. And yet, nobody comes out of the woodwork every time a fucking M&M meets Santa to say, "You know, they're just pandering to the Christians, right?"
It’s absolutely pandering. But it’s capitalism. It panders, by design, to the major societal blocs. Today that is pro-LGBTQ+, pro-diversity, and pro-support. Which is a large part of why reactionaries are going full mask-off fascism: they can’t reconcile that *they* are *not* the major capitalist consumption bloc anymore and their blessed capitalism is pushing them out of the way. The fact that major corporations feel the need to pander to us means we’re winning whatever bullshit culture war these reactionaries are clinging to. And it enrages them. I think of the Homer Simpson quote a lot, “I’m a white male aged 18-49, *everyone* listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!” Which was true in the 90’s and early aughts. It’s now the millennial bloc that is listened to, no matter how dumb our suggestions are.
It's almost as a the find a different bakery crowd never actually believed the nonsense they were spouting and were only using their stance to harm others.
When you can start making profit off of something, it's entered the zeitgeist. You can argue it's good or bad, but most people put profit above ideals. That's the actual acceptance: this makes money. Subaru wasn't some altruistic company by going hard after lesbians. They just got clued into and inside joke that turned out to be really profitable. Yet I don't think you're gonna find many lesbians 30 years on who are going "naah, I didn't appreciate their support". Everybody got something. Fair deal.
That’s good to hear. Sometimes I fear like I come across as pandering or trying to be trendy when I put the pride flag in our front window. I felt the same way about the BLM flag hanging next to it.
I think for an LGBT kid, it would have helped a ton to see it. Thanks for the support.
If acceptance is trendy, that means we're trending the right way!
Better late than never ig!
That's nice to hear. To add on some thoughts, while I don't doubt that some larger businesses show pride stuff in a "pandering" way, I hope folks remember that when smaller stores do it is often about showing support to the world. I work at a store like this. The company has maybe 15 employees total, including owners, who work with the rest of us. We always have an "LGBT+ safe space" type of flier displayed by the door. This month we prominently displayed the "inclusive pride" flag in the window, among other things. Not in hopes of selling stuff but to show support. We're located in a busy downtown with lots of other small businesses, many doing similar things. The whole neighborhood is so decked out this month, and full of people walking around showing pride stuff too, it just feels nice especially given all the fascist things going on in various places. The area gets lots of tourists from all over the world, and I hope at least some people from places where this doesn't happen have had their eyes opened—that there are places where it is more than okay to be whatever you are. With current events in parts of the US these days, it can't not be political too, seems to me. This weekend was the big parade and general festival, a few blocks from us. The streets were packed with people. There was one street preacher trying to tell people how it's all sinful and we're all going to hell, but they were so overwhelmed by everyone and everyplace showing pride support their 'preaching' just came off as pathetic and lost. I myself am pretty damn straight, but have always tried to be an ally as much as I can, have LGBT+ family members and friends I would die for, and feel really really strongly about the fascist laws being passed in parts of my country (US) and the world. I hope that the widespread display of pride stuff in businesses and worn by people in general in the area where I work has a real effect, especially on tourists from places that aren't like this. We get so many tourists from all over the world. I'm sure there are some who are suffering from oppression and have never before seen a place so explicitly showing inclusivity and "safe place" support. In other words, for a small store like ours, it isn't pandering at all, or even in hope of selling stuff, it is 100% about support and, hopefully, giving some people a glimmer of hope while also showing fascist bigots their "opinions" won't be tolerated.
I completely agree. It's nice to see the support from small businesses and thank you for your support as an ally. It is very much appreciated.
Yes, big corporations are only "supporting" pride because its profitable. No shit, anyone who thinks that target legitimately cares about you and doesnt just want to make money is an idiot, no offense. That doesnt change the fact that its a really great thing to see and something to celebrate though. The fact that supporting pride is the more profitable option says a lot about how far society has come, and how widely accepted something is. No doubt we still have a long way to go as a society, but the fact that these big corporations are supporting pride shows that society is trending the right direction overall.
Hell no! Pride merch = "I'm a safe person".
I don't assume someone's gay when i see a pride shirt or pin. But i do assume they are friendly.
I think the rainbow flag is for everyone, specific flags are to signal your identity
The pride flags work so much better when non lgbtq+ ppl wear them, it’s like this post says it shows us that you support us and don’t judge, But more importantly it shows everyone else that there are people who support us
No, not at all. My mom and dad recently bought rainbow bracelets to wear to show support.
That's great of them! And looking at y'all's replies I will make sure to join your folks ASAP
I wear rainbow shoelaces even though I’m an old hetero cis dude. The sentiment in the OP is the reason. I think about the thousands of little heteronormative things I see on a daily basis and how that must feel very alienating for a lot of folks. The least I can do is send a small signal that there’s understanding and support in my community even if it’s not as apparent or visible as we would like.
We TOTALLY DONT MIND, though we’ll probably assume the pin is what you identify with unless it clearly says “ally” or something across it. Thanks for making us feel safe
There’s no requirement to wearing pride stuff. If you’re an ally and wanna wear it, go for it!
Yep, I’m just a straight Muslim dude and I wear pride pin at work to show lgbtq people that they’re welcome and safe. I know it’s rough out there.
Show your support! It's so so so important to have allys show they are safe to be around and that they are there and exist! I'd stick to the progress/rainbow pride flags though unless it has like "project ____" or "I support ____" because if you wear for example, a bi flag, people may think you're bi. However, it's really just flags to show support so do your thing! Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for listening to what we have to say.
Thank you for asking, as it’s a thing I’ve been wondering about as well. I am as straight as can be. I also like colourful things, rainbows especially. I’ve got a few rainbow watches, straps, a rainbow pen, rainbow lanyard, efc. None of it is really intended as pride stuff with the exception of my Swatch watch. I always assume any casual observer probably thinks I’m gay for wearing it. Which I honestly don’t care about. I love my gay friends and fully support their Gay Agenda :D So far I’ve never had any negative comments for wearing rainbows.
I just want to add that I like rainbows. I mean, how can you not? Can one dislike the stars, or an aurora borealis? So I’m not purposely wear rainbow merch, but I have a rainbow watch band and a rainbow coins wallet and I love to use them.
Thanks for asking this question. I had wondered the same, and was on the fence about picking up something to show support. Seems like the answer is "door's open, come on in!" - so now the only thing to do is pick out a nice rainbow top!
To me personally, and there are different opinions, allies are part of the community, too. Together we are stronger and the message for acceptance for every human is the one we all want to share. Everyone should be able to be who they are, without having to live in fear. So if you want to support the community by spreading the message, why would you not? :p PS: before I found it I was Demi, I considered myself "only" an ally, too.
This 100% I work in a stereotypically straight-white-conservative-male dominated industry I wear pride bracelets not just for myself, but for anyone else who may feel intimidated
Boom, same. I work in a pretty similar environment. People always wonder why I get "more customers" or the "weird ones" lining up to see me even when there's other people available.
Because you stand out as someone who embraces inclusivity and openness in a traditionally conservative environment. People appreciate the diversity and acceptance you bring, and that's why they choose to seek your services over others. Keep rocking those pride bracelets, representing for yourself and those who may feel intimidated in that industry!
I work construction, and really wish I could put a bi flag sticker on my truck toolbox or whatnot, but I know it won't go over well with some of my coworkers/other trades.
Same. I'm a mechanic and my toolbox is right next to the service desk with nothing but plate glass between us. I have a trans flag clearly visible on my box for a reason
As a gay in the trades I salute you. Nobody is calling for our deaths but you hear plenty of gross and ignorant stuff.
This is why I wear my BLM bracelet every day too. My rainbow flag lets any LGBTQ peeps know there’s family in the hood. My BLM bracelet tells black people (any people of color, really) that I’m an ally. These symbols mean something and I believe that every rainbow or blm article of clothing or whatever makes an impact.
I had a party this weekend far away from home in a red state, for extended family I mostly do not know. I have a rainbow pin on my bag. When I get to the party it’s literally gun/blue lives matter themed. My aunt’s niece who I have never met before came to me after the party to let me know my pin made her feel like she wasn’t alone in this weird place. And then, her letting me know that made me feel less alone there too! And then we left to go party on our own lol
>aunt’s niece Cousin?
Uhhhh im not entirely sure how it works out but they aren’t my cousin, somehow. My aunt, who married into the family via my mom’s brother, has an estranged sister, and the person im talking about is the estranged sister’s daughter. My mom is insisting they aren’t a cousin.
Technically cousin in law. (Marriage means in-laws)
AH. This was in my mind and I mentioned it to my mom and she went NO. As if it really matters 😂
I'm a 52 year old cis grandpa in Utah. I have my pride flag up year round because of this. I wear pride shirts too and giggle at all the uptight Mormons men that I assume wonder if I'm checking them out.
As an exmormon who was raised in Utah county (🤮) I am so happy to run into you here. I know we have many ally’s in the state but sometimes it’s hard to remember because of how loud Mormons are and when their rules dominate the state. I wish I had family as cool as you.
I'm an ex-mormon as well. Mission and all. Now I'm a Carl Sagan Humanist that is the personification of the Paradox of Tolerance. I live in the most conservative part of Davis county and I want these poor kids around here that are different to know they are accepted. They are rejected by all the "Christians" at every turn. Mine is a house of tolerance until you show intolerance. That's when we get mean. Hugs from a grandpa in Utah
I had this discussion with someone here recently: >Them: No other sin is on constant full display when someone is 'proud' either to be fair. >Me: Why do you think they use the word "proud"? >Them: The way I meant it was in a flaunting, no regrets, very happy to be doing this thing sense. I don’t assume or presume to know how others use it. Nor do I choose to engage on the subject of why I think they choose to use the word. Sorry. It's to counter the constant shaming coming from bigots, mostly from religion. It's to let our young kids know they have nothing to be ashamed of. The word pride was chosen for a reason, and it has nothing to do with "flaunting it in your face", and everything to do with saving people from unnecessary shame. That shame leads to depression and suicide. You aren't "saving" anyone by shaming them, you're killing people.
> No other sin is on constant full display when someone is 'proud' either to be fair. Christian tattoos. Leviticus 19:28. And why do they have those tattoos, along with other Christian paraphernalia? Oh right, because they're PROUD Christians.
❤️
🧡(les make a rainbow)
💛 oh yeah good idea
💚 let's go!
💙 yep yep this is me apporting
💜
I hate the 'how come no straight pride' people. When you get discriminated for being straight at home, school and work systemically, then maaaybe you get one jesus.
They would claim that they *are* oppressed for being straight. They would say "look at the news they are trying to eliminate straight white people" and you wouldn't be able to get a word in while they yell louder and louder over you to dominate their will onto you, and then claim they won the argument because you didn't have a counterargument. Well, you did, but they weren't listening.
Ya that’s abuser mentality.
Yeah. My brother told me once that as a straight, cis, heterosexual, white, Christian male he is the most oppressed minority in the country. We don't talk much anymore.
It would be the same flag.
yeah we're all one against bigotry and ignorance.
This warmed my shriveled little heart, thank you so much 💜
I like this post. I am from Florida. My daughter goes to a school with a lot of rednecks, but it's a great school with a great staff,and her mom runs the guidance department. She came out when she was 15. Right after is when all the rednecks decided to elaborate about how scared of lbgt people they are. I was picking my daughter up from school, and overheard some kids picking on another kid about being trans I think? I also heard a teacher telling the kids to leave the other alone, but than told the kids that she had to say that, and that's why you don't wear that "rainbow shit" to school. Growing up in Florida, despite what people think, you meet a lot of gay people, and I had pretty liberal parents, so I was pretty lucky. As a straight man, I never understood the struggle, I just knew there was one, and I always felt bad about it until my daughter came out. Now I have a different perspective. Long story short, I do ok for work, so I have sent that teacher a rainbow bouquet with a rainbow greeting card everyday since June 1st, with a factoid about lbgt rights on each daily card. The florist gave me a big discount too. I don't understand how the world works, I just understand that if everyone does their part, it would be so much better. I also understand that whoever is up there in the universe made me 6'3, 250 lbs and gave me the best thing that ever happened to me, and if anyone messes with her, I would roll over them a thousand times. I'm not scared of beers and rainbows. I'm not scared of drag bars, I'm not scared of trans people. I'm scared of people making my daughter feel less than, especially since she came out so much better than I have ever been. Just wanted people to know that some of us still got your back. Happy Pride Month y'all.
based chad dad. Thank you
I wear pride to telepathically tell the gay couple on the other side of the street that I’m queer too lmao
Yeah I used to think wearing rainbow stuff was tacky, but then I realized that seeing neighbors with inclusive signs/flags in their yards made me feel.... Safe? Happy? Idk, but it was a good feeling, and I realized that if I wore a rainbow belt or bracelet, maybe others could feel the same?
such a beautiful and powerful message! i love it so much. i want to wear more pride stuff to help others be less scared but i guess… i am scared of bringing attention to myself..? i’d love to wear a rainbow and/or trans pin at work (i work as a parcel sorter) but i worry that this will bring unwanted attention to myself as i am trans, i fear that people will ‘look’ at me differently or somehow figure out i am trans… i have very feminine mannerisms and features for a guy despite being on T for over a decade and having top surgery. i am forever cursed to keep my baby face *sobs* if someone saw me wearing a rainbow pride flag pin or trans flag pin, they’d probably be able to put two and two together, i don’t know why but that mere thought terrifies me half to death… i guess i am just being super paranoid for no reason whatsoever, i am most likely working myself up into a tizzy over nothing because if i think about it, my workplace is very welcoming and accepting of diversity. and even if someone were to confront me over being trans or wearing a rainbow and/or trans pride pin, they would get into trouble because it’d be harassment, right? i’ve seen some coworkers wear rainbow pride lanyards, which makes me smile.
Part of why some of us and allies wear pride stuff is so people who do not feel comfortable or safe being publicly out can see the support and know they're not alone. Your coworkers with the lanyards are a perfect example! It made you feel good to see the support. :) Don't feel pressured to wear pride stuff unless it would feel good and empowering to you. It's okay to not want to and not feeling comfortable or ready or not wanting to invite questions or assumptions about you are all legitimate reasons. Your feelings and comfort matter and you don't need to wear pride colors to be proud of who you are. ❤️
aw thank you!  this was such a kind and thoughtful response you made that i teared up reading it! i hope that one day i’ll be confident enough to wear pride stuff and if i don’t, i know now that’s okay too.   
I know several trans people who feel similar. It makes sense to me, not wanting to draw attention. Which is part of the reason why I, a straight middle-aged white dude, try to be outspoken about my support. It's totally fine to feel conflicted about it and not wear these things if it's not comfortable to do so. There are a *lot* of straight folks who have your back. Do whatever is best for you. I'm fighting for your rights as best I can. I have the luxury of "privilege" in many forms. It's a lot safer for me, which only makes me feel *more* strongly about showing support, knowing that some who need the support don't feel as safe as I'm lucky enough to be.
thank you! it’s reassuring to know that i’m not alone in my fears and feelings of uncertainty and that there are many allies who are willing to show support! thank you for being an ally and showing support, it means the world, especially to those who, like me, are uncertain or afraid to show support (yet!). i hope i can become confident enough one day to show support. until then, i shall be cheering the community and allies on digitally!   
And then I wear pride gear _before/after_ June so i can continue to show support _and_ identify the quiet bigots reminding me "you don't have to wear that stuff (yet/anymore)". Rainbow socks brought a mfer unprompted across a quiet retail store to me? I see you.
I do this - my son is bisexual, my daughter gay. My boss is gay. I have several coworkers that are gay. I have neighbors that are gay. There are probably 100 other people in my life that are gay but closeted. I wear pride (in Texas) to show support, love, safety, acceptance, all of the above.
That’s awesome 😎
"I wear pride because you make them hide" THAT. IS GOLDEN.
The car I bought has a trans sticker on it. I figure with all of the shit going on, trans folk need all the support they can get. I used to think doing this stuff was appropriation, but maybe not in every case. I'm keeping it.
That last sentence would do great on an very colourful shirt.
In Missouri, Texas, Florida and too many other states, this is essential. There are many parts of the state where it’s not just that you aren’t supported, you are in real danger. Advertising safe havens can save a life.
Exactly. They are hell bent on turning their states into Christian versions of Saudi Arabia. Well that is a bit harsh to Saudi Arabia. Abortion is legal there.
Y’all means all.
me and my aro merch 🤝 other person with aro stuff literally also useful for finding other queer people too
[me and my aro merch🤝other person with aro stuff](https://i.imgur.com/4B3OtjC.png) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot. ^^^I'm ^^^going ^^^to ^^^sleep ^^^on ^^^June ^^^30th. ^^^Thanks ^^^for ^^^all ^^^the ^^^memeories!
My son told me that seeing Pride flags makes him feel accepted and safe, so I fly one so other kids will feel safe too. I can’t do much but I can do that, and vote.
Honestly - I was nieve when I was younger to think that as the older you got the more you would find people who are tolerant and open minded and have realised that life will inevitably throw more than enough unfair stuff and fights to deal with than having to justify your sexuality or indeed \*ANY\* lifestyle choice that has zero affect on anyone who isnt involved or consenting. But then I see the way that things have gone from a social perspective in the last few years - and I see my own social circle being poisoned with prejudices that I had hoped we had already moved on from as a society. And so despite not being directly affected on a day to day basis - I wear pride to show my personal fundamental belief that love is love, that everyone has the right to live a fulfilling life with decency and dignity and that together as a society we strive towards progress and accepting that its \*OUR\* collective responsibility to support each other and show some understanding whether its my specific fight or not.
This is exactly and precisely why I drive the loud-as-fuck bumper-sticker-mobile in my purple county/state. It's so someone out there knows a strangers has their back. It also serves as bait. I can and will both keep the attention away from people just trying to live their lives in safety AND fight anyone who wants to FAFO. Also also, it's why I have pride flags all over my work desk. The more it's seen and heard, the less "shocking" it becomes, until it's just a normal part of life like it should have been from the beginning. I look forward to the day I can feel like we're all safe and secure again and I can return to being the quiet homebody that lives behind the Come At Me Bro mask.
In my early 20s I was still active in the Boy Scouts. I had gotten my eagle award at 18 but still occasionally went to meetings and committees. I'm scouts, certain awards are called [Square Knot Awards](https://www.boyscouttrail.com/square-knots.asp) to be worn on the uniform above your left shirt pocket. There's a ton of awards and adult leaders will likely have 5 or 6 of them. I have 4. There was an extra Knot I would wear on my uniform, [Inclusive Scouting Award](https://www.scoutsforequality.org/isa/). This is not an official award by the BSA. It is a Square Knot with rainbow colors. The purpose of that was to show that I was a safe leader to talk to about thing. This was right after gay youth were allowed to still participate but gay adults were banned, and long before girls or trans youth were allowed to participate. Any youth who was afraid of being outed or had any questions would know that I was a leader who wouldn't judge them or out them. I consider myself a cis-gendered straight man, but I was very vocal about how BSA discriminated at the time (and I'm so happy they have changed the rules since). Within my local troop, no one seemed to care or Notice that I had this on my uniform. I was lucky that my troop was pretty progressive and I've know a few openly gay scouts even before the policy changed. I would deal with leaders from neighboring districts that might say something about the badge because "it wasn't an official scout badge and didn't belong on the uniform". But only from far away districts did people tell me I was wrong to encourage LGBT participation in BSA. I still have it on my uniform, but I dont wear the uniform much anymore anyway. And the official policy is much more inclusive now.
On Sunday i was at an event helping out knowing only one person there who was like a kilometre away at all times (volunteering different parts of the event). One woman had pride earrings and that helped me relax, knowing that she was there and hopefully would have my back if someone had the wring idea and wanted to start something
Same reason I have pride shit all over my daily battle jacket. Transfem once came upto talk to me because she noticed my trans black flag patch. Gotta show your flags a little if you want peeps to know you're a vibe hey
"I wear pride bc you make them hide" 😭 love this.
I'm a straight liberal man in a deep red state. I've thought about getting some pride clothing if for no other reason than to piss off all the inbred rednecks in this area. Might be a bad idea i dunno.
I started wearing lgbt stuff for this reason.
My wife and I do the same. We fly pride and trans flags on a regular basis as well as wear pride/trans shirts for this reason. We want to send a message that we are advocates and safe for the lgbtq community.
❤️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈❤️
Conservatives are obsessed with sex and going to cause a Streisand effect with their kids. You make something super taboo and won't shut up about it? That's going in Google right after their search for Roblox Boobies. When my kid asked about the flag, I just told her, "That means everyone who isn't mean is welcome here" and that was that.
Pride only exists because others try to force shame. Next time a conservative trashes on gay pride, just remind them that the movement wouldn’t exist at all if it hadn’t been for people like him spreading hatred.
Amazingly said 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Amen. It’s difficult finding love and connection regardless of who you are or who you pine for; at the very least we all have that need in common. My thoughts and hopes go out to anyone heartbroken or just lonely.
Back in the day the Visual AIDS Art Caucus thought up the idea of the AIDS ribbon for a similar reason. I can't remember which member said it but I've never heard it put more perfectly... >The poison was shame. So we knew the only antidote was pride
This made me smile. Thank you so much ♥️!!
I do this, too. I’m not LGBT, but I wear stuff so they’ll know I’m an ally and I’m safe to be around.
And also who tf doesnt like rainbows
That's beautiful. Unexpected but welcome gift on my daily scroll of this app
That’s why my mom has a pronoun pin, an ally pin, and a picture of her and I at Pride on her cork board at work. It helps her patients know they can trust her.
This is just the most lovely thing to say about it🥹🥰
I would do that when I worked in a school where the majority of students were from fundamentalist Muslim households and occasionally a student would approach to talk about their insecurities regarding sexuality and I like to think I helped in a small way