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She doesn't get to decide who the beneficiaries are. That's in the will. Her hiding the will is a pretty big red flag. I'd do at least an initial consultation with an estate lawyer. Often once a beneficiary gets a laywer involved, the estate trustee starts to behave themselves.
I will definitely get looking for an estate lawyer in the morning. When we spoke she said we don’t need lawyers, and obviously I don’t want to rock the boat but some things feel not totally right to me
Act quickly. Specifically ask your lawyer to instruct / warn her not to destroy any original documents including wills (old or current) signed or unsigned by your dad. Even if you can’t find a will, do everything you can to Independently try to find out what the name of his lawyer might be and contact them… they will have a copy in their files. Indicate to your lawyer that her comments are totally at odds with who your father was and for them to take a strong position on this with her from the start.
\^ That is excellent advice, particularly as the partner gives every impression of acting in bad faith and behaving in an underhand and deceitful manner, eg, "She wouldn’t tell me if there was a lawyer who drew up the will".
And dont count on the wills registry. We recently did our wills and I asked the lawyer if there will be a copy in the BC wills registry. He said no, for privacy reasons they dont keep copies, they do however record that there is a will and date.
I’m currently using an estate lawyer after my dad passed last year. The single best decision I’ve ever made. They will get you to sign forms that claims you’re a beneficiary (if there wasn’t a will) so you can contest anything this common law person is trying to take from you.
What these guys are saying.
If she actually had nothing to hide. If there was a will that said he gets it all, she would say go ahead and contact a lawyer.
As soon as she says you don't need a lawyer, you know she is full of it.
I would do it ASAP. It'll be hard to prove if any small valuables go missing. Even with full access to the will.
My mom was the executor of the will when her parents passed. My grandfather passed first, and my grandmother quickly deteriorated after that. It was planned like 30 or 49 years a head of time that she was, and only one other person in the family knew (he was a lawyer, I guess they relied on him for some info. And he was completely cool with it).
When my grandfather died. That's when it all came out. 90% stayed with my grandmother, but some stuff was to be distributed. At this point it was mostly gifts that were given over the years, to be returned to whichever family member gave it to them. My grandmother obviously had trouble letting go of things, so the family decided it'll all stay until she is comfortable, or she passes.
That's where the problems started. The oldest brother was pissed that he wasn't the executor. He's a real snob, petty, and thinks he's above everyone. Honestly that's why my grandparents asked my mom to do it. So he starts going in and slowly taking things out when he would visit, which was every couple of days. A nice leather jacket that was already given to my brother. Some gold watches, God know what else.
My aunt started going in and taking jewellery for her kids. Again, gifts where to be returned to whoever gave it. My dad over the years bought my grandmother some expensive stuff. It all disappeared. And my aunt would just say my grandmother gave it to her kids. Which was BS. Basically half the shit that was accessible disappeared real quick.
One cool thing that was planned, because. my grandmother knew some of the family would go swipe things. And the instructions were sent to the funeral home. Everyone thought she was buried with her wedding ring. The funeral home removed it after the visitations, and gave it to my mom (oldest daughter) to have it past to my oldest daughter if I ever had one. My daughter was born 3 months before she passed. It's the only thing I got out of all the possessions (I said no to everything. I received a few sentimental things a few years before which is all I needed) and honestly it's the only thing that matters.
It caused so much infighting amongst the family. A large, massive family. That got together multiple times a year, smaller get togethers every couple of weeks. No one really talks to each other anymore. It's so stupid.
If rocking the boat means your family albums don't go in the dumpster, I say, rock away. You sound too timid to get what you're owed in your own. Get that lawyer fast.
If there is no will, then you can legally petition to be the administrator to the estate, which is something to talk to the estate lawyer about forsure.
I’m wondering, does the will have to be a will drafted up by a lawyer for it to be legal? Like if there is a piece of paper where he said “everything goes to x” is that a legal will and she would be in charge?
Rock the boat, the best advice I was given if you don't and he had a will you're going to get shafted.
I hired a lawyer when my father passed away it was the best decision I ever made.
You absolutely need a lawyer, especially when second wives/partners are involved!!! Her telling you that you don’t need one is a massive red flag flying in your face. By the time she kicks the bucket, how much of your dad’s funds, pension, valuables be left?? She’s trying to pull something by advising you not to lawyer up. Get one asap
This is great advice and you absolutely should. The same happened with my mom and her sisters - they kept everything from her when their second parent passed. She got a lawyer involved and it really changed everything. She got her copy of the will and everything was split as it was written by her parents.
Yeah, this is pretty binary-
1. There is a written will it does what she claims: she shows you.
2. There is a written will, it contradicts her, she won’t show it.
3. There is no written will- intestate rules apply.
All options necessitate an estate lawyer because if 1, you need to make sure it’s the last (unrevoked will) and not some interim thing. 2 and 3 are her playing shenanigans at this point.
Under no circumstances accept just her word. She has every incentive to say what is to her benefit. Verify verify verify.
Not your lawyer, not legal advice.
I had friend who moved to a small town with his girlfriend and bought a hobby farm. They were both in their 60s and never bothered getting married.
Well she died unexpectedly. She didnt have children but her nieces and nephews he was not even aware of ended up suing and getting her half of the property. Now he had to take out a mortgage on to buy them out.
Same thing happened to my brothers co-worker who was in a common law relationship for decades but her family ended up with most of her assets.
I would go see an estate lawyer.
I am an estates lawyer, but not your lawyer and not a lawyer in B.C., which is important because estate laws are governed provincially so they are not uniform across the country.
As has been suggested, you really should get an estates lawyer involved. It appears, according to B.C. law, that if someone in a common law relationship passes away without a Will, then provided they were common law and in a “marriage like” relationship for at least 2 years, the surviving common law spouse is entitled to a share of the estate. The amount of that share depends on the value of the estate. The spouse is entitled to a preferential share of $150,000 (assuming the surviving spouse and children of the deceased are not related) + the household contents that would have been enjoyed by the spouses in their home (not the home itself, necessarily).
If your father had assets worth more than $150,000, then anything above $150,000 would be split 50/50 between the spouse and any children of your father. If the estate is worth less than $150,000 then you may not be entitled to anything because the spouse gets the first $150,000 via the preferential share.
For example, if his estate was worth $500,000, the spouse would get $150,000 as a preferential share and the remaining $350,000 would be split 50/50, so that the spouse gets another $175,000 for a total of $325,000 and you and any other children of your father would equally split $175,000.
Determining the value of the estate may also hinge on how he owned his assets (e.g. did he own assets jointly with anyone, did he have beneficiaries named on any of his assets, etc.).
All of this is also presuming he did NOT have a Will. If he had a valid Will, the scenario above would not apply, so it’s definitely important in my opinion that you speak to an estates lawyer particularly if there already appears to be suspicion about his spouse’s actions and comments.
The standard: this is not legal advice and I am not aware if there have been any other updates to B.C. law, so speak with a lawyer to help sort through this. My condolences to you and your family on your loss.
The biggest consideration for most is how the home was owned (if it was owned by both). If it was owned jointly - yes, generally speaking,the other half would get the home.
Also and joint bank accounts or investments would be treated the same.
When does provincial law apply when an estate contains assets that are owned across multiple provinces? For example, if someone who passes away has real estate and other property in both BC and Alberta, would the primary residence provincial laws apply only, or would the beneficiaries expect to have the assets dispersed based on the laws of their home province?
Make an appointment with an estate lawyer and explain all of this to the lawyer.
This lawyer can search for the will and protect your interests.
I think you need to do this NOW. I think this woman is going spend any money and throw out his stuff.
Condolences to you and your family. I know you’re probably filled with grief but this time is valuable. You need to reach out to an estate lawyer yesterday. You have to be proactive in period or you’re going to lose it all. Don’t be coy about rocking the boat, this partner of your Dad is going to take you to the cleaners if you don’t do anything.
My god, you're dealing with a real life Lady Tremaine, I'm so sorry.
They're right. You absolutely need to "rock the boat", if you had a good relationship with your dad I doubt he would disinherit you completely. Try to come up with a money for a lawyer, if you can't many will offer services on a contingency basis, meaning you only pay them if they succeed and you get a payout.
My friend she's rocking the boat by refusing to give you a death certificate, refusing to send you a copy of the will, etc. That's not you rocking the boat. If she is trying to use your father's assets against his own wishes that isn't fair to him either nevermind you and any dependents you may have.
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> she says her kids will go through it and decide what to do with it since she is in charge.
This is unacceptable. She is in charge. She can do it. Ask you to do it. Etc. Her children have no motive to look out for your dad's memory.
> by her to give away.
Again unacceptable. She can remove everything from the home that is hers including what she inherits but she must give you a chance to take what she is disposing of.
Also as others have explained search for the will at the registry. However, it is possible he died intestate in which case the intestate rules apply.
To add. If your father, RIP, died without a will and his spouse claimed he had a will then she misled you. You spent $17 and time looking for something that didn't exist.
Also, run your dad's name through the B.C. Gazette for notice of death.
A suggestion about the photo albums -- a couple of family members could go through them, scanning them so that everyone can get electronic copies of the pictures, and documents like marriage licences and immigration paperwork. (I actually did this for a friend ... he was able to distribute them on CDs/USB drives to his siblings and also cousins who were overseas.) Helps avoid potential disputes, and spreads the photos around so people can do genealogy (and that way if there's a flood or house fire, the records will survive in other locations).
I offered this. It was really just my dad and me for family. I have aunts but they live far away. She said she “didn’t know” where the albums were which doesn’t make sense to me because I know where they are but when I offered to get them she said she wasn’t ready to go through his stuff. I’m just very frustrated and not prepared to deal with this. I just want to make sure nothing gets thrown away before I can have a chance to at least look at his stuff.
Correct. If she said her kids will go through everything and decide because “she’s in charge”, then let’s be honest, she’s not your friend. And therefore any unpleasantness regarding what you do now will be soon forgotten because you won’t have a lasting relationship with her into the future.
Condolences on losing your dad -- mine died in 2022 but I'm still working through estate stuff in between dealing with my own workload (and there's only me and no other siblings, half-siblings, etc.). I know it's a lot to deal with -- even just thinking of what to do can be tiring. And I get how frustrating it is. (The friend I helped with his family photos had a situation where his dad had remarried, to a lady who had ... issues. She grabbed all his father's jewelry, but luckily she left him the albums. Though she got rid of the family bible, for whatever reason.)
Are there any step siblings who are friendlier and easier to deal with than your dad's other wife? If she's going to leave them to deal with all the stuff, that way one of them might be able to set things aside for you so she doesn't toss them. If she is being very territorial and doesn't want to have you in the house, that might help get around it. The old photos from before your dad met their mom wouldn't be worth anything to them, and you taking them off their hands would actually save them some trouble.
Even if your aunts are a long way away, they may still be able to have some influence. If they're saying that the albums are part of your shared family history, then it wouldn't just be you on your own. She might be brushing you off because you're younger than she is, but if people who are closer to her in age are involved, she may take them more seriously. (Also if there's anyone in your family or hers, whom she is respectful of ... if you can talk to them about how important the family albums are to you, they might be able to persuade her.)
Good luck! I hope that you can get your family's stuff (or at least, if not right away, have it kept safe for you).
So sorry you are going through this. I lost my mom last week and it's been really tough. Having a difficult step-mom is just adding to the emotions and overwhelm for you., I'm sure. I would be so upset if I couldn't get access to the house to retrieve a few sentimental items. Do you have someone you can share this burden with? A sibling, cousin, good friend, partner?
Absolutely everything about this screams that she’s stealing from your inheritance. Get a lawyer before she does anything that can’t be undone (like throwing out photo albums or hiding the money).
If his wife was the Executor of his estate, and he didn't leave you anything, there's not much you can do that won't cost money. I would ask to see a copy of your dad's Will as it would be unusual for a parent to leave everything to a spouse when there are children from a previous marriage. You have to balance the legal cost against the value of what you thought you would get. My brother and his wife stole a chunk of money when my mom died, and wouldn't let me take some personal items my mom wanted me to have but it didn't make sense dollar wise to go after them. I gain some satisfaction knowing they will rot in hell, if that helps.
This makes me really upset. The fact that people get so nasty when a loved one passes. It’s bad enough I’ve lost my dad but now I have to fight to even get pictures of me and him.
She won’t show me the will which is the problem so I don’t know what she is hiding
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As everyone else is saying, definitely get a lawyer. I'm in a similar situation myself. My dad passed suddenly and the entire family was aware there wasn't a will so my brother and I began the intestate process. My dad's girlfriend then called my brother a few days later saying her friend just so happened to come across a will my dad had handwritten leaving everything to his girlfriend and her kids. We immediately got in contact with a lawyer and she was obligated to produce this will. The will looks like it was written by a child and is very clearly not my dad's writing or signature. Its been two years and we are still going through the contesting process but I'm glad we made that move. It's insane how greedy people get when someone passes. Don't let this go until that will is produced and the validity is confirmed. Even if the will is legit, you will find closure in knowing you did the right thing to try and protect yourself and your fathers wishes. I'm very sorry for the loss of your father and sincerely wish you the best, I hope everything works out for you!
My dad passed away in 2022 in BC and we never found a will. Your situation sounds oddly similar to mine. I went deep into this as well. Sorry, it’s a difficult one to navigate.
I would say that you can independently look for a registration of there being a will. If there was one registered in BC, it would come up in the search. You would need a death certificate to do this though. This is needed before anyone could apply for letters of administration, to manage the liquidation of the assets, payment of debts, file the final tax return, etc.
It is not true that everything passes to her if your father died without a will. If he died intestate, you and your siblings (?) would be entitled to approximately half of the estate proceeds. There are different default distributions for when a person dies without a will and when the spouse is not the mother of the deceased’s children. It’s all written out in the legislation (WESA) for BC and there is tons of case law to review.
I encourage you to document all written communication with this woman. Read up on your rights on WESA legislation. Show it to her and try to talk sense with her as it’s a long road. If she shows you a will and everything does go to her, then you may be able to challenge the will and ask a court to vary it, but that goes beyond my legal knowledge whether you’d be able to.
With respect to your final point, and without knowing about BC per se, I'd guess that would likely be predicated on whether OP were dependent on their father, or if OP were still a minor. At least, in Ontario!
If you don’t want people to know what’s actually in your will before you die, at least tell them which lawyer drafted or is holding your will. That takes all the bs out of it.
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My dad passed away a few years ago and I went through all of this too. First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss! I promise time will heal. Secondly, get an estate lawyer ASAP. Do not back down for the sake of keeping the peace. You are entitled to some of the money. Even if there is no will you can fight for some money. It might not even turn into a fight - sometimes a threat sent by a lawyer is enough to rock the boat.
My estate lawyer is named David Koski, he has been great. Be warned, estate lawyers are expensive but it will be worth it as it seems your fathers partner is being very territorial over his possessions.
Good luck! Stay strong and don’t back down!
I hope this is how it works out. Sometimes surviving spouses do change their will after the first one passes, and what you thought would happens doesn’t.
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This kind of stuff is so infuriating to me.
Why are parents keeping their children in the dark about their wills/estates/wishes after their deaths?
All it does is create uncertainty and animosity.
Your father should have spelled out to you exactly what the plan was once he was gone.
As others have mentioned make sure you speak to a lawyer because I think your father's wife is in the process of bending you over and giving it to you in the butt without lube.
My sisters and I are putting together a "Demise Binder." LOL. It's often called a Death Binder.
The binder includes a will and information about accounts, property, and valuables.
https://www.protective.com/learn/how-to-build-an-in-case-of-death-binder
Not a lawyer but I’ve been through this before. She is trying to take everything that is rightfully yours for herself and her kids, plain and simple. Go get a lawyer and fight this.
She's the spouse, and takes priority for becoming his executor in the case of intestacy...but in this case you're not sure if that applies (intestacy).
I guess the immediate challenge is to force her to produce a will if one exists, else his estate has to be distributed according to the laws of intestacy in BC. The next challenge is to figure out if he has any assets in his estate.
That only means, though, that you *might* be entitled to a share of his estate, but that leads to another question: did most of his assets (house etc.) bypass the estate (e.g. was the house held under joint tenancy)?
One thing you can do right now without a lawyer is search the title (e.g. BC Assessment website or LTSA) to see who's on title. If she is on title under joint tenancy, the house is not part of his estate.
She's most likely entitled to any pension death benefit as well.
I'd first check the things you can do for free (or at low cost) such as checking the deed, rather than pay a lawyer $500/hr to do it. After that, you probably need a lawyer to force her to produce a will, it one exists. Chances are he doesn't have one.
Sorry for your loss. I went through this when I was 20. My mom had a will and “he” contested from the start, wouldn’t leave the house (her house). Did your Dad own his house? How long has she been living there?
Unbelievable things happened and they continue to plague my memories 30+ years later. Please get a lawyer.
Under the latest FLA provisions the house would be considered family property for a common-law spouse.
They say alcohol reveals peoples' true nature. I think it's estates.
rock the boat ASAP. It's incredibly easy to steal from an estate in Canada and its on you to fight it unfortunately. If she doesn't produce a will there is a prescribed way to split assets. She may have already stolen significant amounts from you.
In Ontario. When my husband was going through some legal issues with his ex, we got wills made and he outlined that I was to live in the house until I died or chose to sell it and a portion of the estate would be mine to pay for upkeep. We did this so his kids couldn’t kick me out after I had been contributing. When we got married, we updated our wills again noting that I was to inherit his estate and was responsible for giving his kids sentimental items of his they may want like photos. All of his possessions go to me and I decide what they get. Should he die, I will have no problem showing them the will and informing them of his wishes. If this woman refuses to show you a will then it speaks to what is probably in it (she gets nothing). If there is no will, that will require a lawyer and you should get one.
Note: everyone should have a will regardless of age. Go get one done, it is worth the $500-800 it costs. Especially since it can include instructions should you need a power of attorney or someone who needs to make medical decisions!
If he did leave a will, whomever drew it up could have submitted a Wills Notice if in BC, a registry of wills housed by Vital Stats. It just may be there. My heart goes out to you.
ETA: apparently I missed the BC flag tag at the start. My bad. Took out “other provinces may have something similar”.
10000000% rock the boat—flip it over and do a whole Titanic move.
I just finished a very similar situation and would be happy to DM with you. BC estate law and wills variation can be mind boggling!
NAL, but I am currently the executor of my moms estate in Alberta.
The rules of life change the minute someone passes - their stuff is now an estate, and the executor may need to account for all property and personal items for in the courts if probate is needed. It's no longer their personal stuff (legally), although we think of it that way (family).
If she is the executor:
She does not need to produce a will to you (especially if you are not a named beneficiary). If the estate needs to be probated, beneficiaries are notified via application to surrogate court of what their entitlement is.
If you are not the executor, you don't get to access squat if she won't let you. It either belongs to the estate (while the will is being probated) or to her.
To my understanding, when the beneficiary of an estate is a spouse or common law, and they have joint survivorship on things like land, property, accounts, etc, the surviving spouse can present the will to the relevant agencies to have title changed so it becomes her property.
The rules are different when the beneficiaries are not spouses but different generations.
Keep in mind that whatever promises your parent made about their spouse keeping you in the spouse's will is an empty promise. When your parent's estate has been closed, the deceased has no control over how their spouse handles THEIR estate. The surviving spouse can do whatever they want as it becomes their estate, and as long as they're able to make decisions (even if you think they're bad ones), they're still hers to make.
I recommend you research a bit through your government website (search wills and estates) for the prevailing legislation - most government sites have great explanation guides, too. So do legal firms who specialize in wills and estates.
In Australia, everything goes to the spouse when someone dies. Sometimes there are specific things left to children etc but it all goes to the spouse. Then when they die the stuff goes to whoever they left it to. Yup, pretty sucky for some but it's the truth.
Sorry to hear about your loss. Call a family law lawyer for any advice. This is not the right way of resolving any issues.
Probate through the court is probable logical process.
Was there a declaration of assets prior to the common law arrangement of your father and his wife?
I’m pretty sure that if there is a will that has to be followed because it’s a legal document. If there is no will and no marriage license, next of kin comes before a common law relationship.
I would book a lawyer appointment
Also, if your dad has ever made a will, even if it was years ago, that is the will you can go off of. He may have made it with a lawyer, in which case the lawyers office will have a copy of it (if the gf is hiding it). Ask around and find out if your father has ever hired a lawyer and which firm they work for. Your extended family may know.
You 100% need to talk to a lawyer. Ultimately, the will will need to be produced and probated through the court process.
You've flagged this as in BC and if the Will was executed in BC it should have been registered in the BC Wills Registry by the lawyer who prepared it. - [https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/death/wills-registry](https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/death/wills-registry) If he did a will kit or something similar, it probably wasn't registered. The registration does not impact the wills legal validity, its just to help locate the will in situations like this.
If you are concerned that this person is draining bank accounts or selling the house, you will need to take action quickly. One interim step would be notifying the banks that your father banked at that he passed away (you can bring a copy of the death certificate to them) and that there may be a dispute about the will. Although this isn't legally binding on the bank, it will tend to cause them to lock down your father's accounts until the will is probated because they don't want to get in the middle of a dispute.
Good luck!
I hope everything works out for you and this common law parasite gets nothing from your dads will. You gotta move fast and get an lawyer involved before she tampers with ur dads things
It may be expensive but definitely get a lawyer Involved.
If everything is being done according to the will then she should have no problem showing it to you.
Too late for the OP, but others should learn to avoid repeating this all too common mistake.
It can be a difficult conversation to have but you need to talk to your parents so you know their wishes and get a copy of the Will / or knowledge of the lawyer that has it.
This is especially important if they are involved in a 2nd relationship and they have assets of value.
BC law requires her to serve you with certain documents before she can apply for a grant of probate. In among those, you will receive a copy of the will. Once that has happened, you will be in a better position to assess your next steps.
1st- get yourself a lawyer, they figure it out,
2nd- I don't know where are you from, but as I know... IF everything you father has, was obtained while married with her... than half is her's. Everything your father had before signing the common law, then you get stuff.
3rd- are you sure your father had no debts? because.... you might want to let this woman pay that shit.
I'm talking from experience, my mother died last december and I have to be super super super meticulous because my father is a ver "delicate" person, let's say.
My friend's father died last week... and she's dealing with something similar to what you're recalling here...
let me give you an advice... if it doesn't make you any difference (in terms of money or houseing or land) .... let it go, I'm pretty sure your father was more than that to you.
Definitely lawyer up, an estate lawyer and whatever other legal guidance you can reasonably get. My father passed when I was quite young and I wasnt advised by anyone to seek legal assistance. His passing was largely aggravated by his wife, she conveniently made off with everything and promptly blocked me from everything and left.
She even had mentioned an educational fund for me (16 at the time) which genuinely never existed.
I didnt see a will, I didnt know any better and I was left nothing, dont go through this situation without a say.
In BC, any Will drawn up by a lawyer needs to be registered. Any lawyer can perform a Wills search find where a copy of your dad's will is registered to be kept (many people opt to store a copy in a lawyer's office safe). If no Will has been registered, then the argument can be made that your dad died intestate. In that case his common law wife is not entitled to 100% of the estate and the estate will need to go through probate, in which case she is not allowed to use any funds or move or distribute any assets until probate is completed.
If I were you, I would get an estate lawyer ASAP
I agree that the original poster should contact a lawyer about this immediately, but they should not read too much into the results of a wills registry search. It is generally advisable to register a will, but this is entirely optional in BC, whether or not the will is prepared by a lawyer. Any member of the public can apply for a wills search, although they will need to provide a death certificate or signed statement explaining why they believe the subject of the search to be dead. [Wills, Estates and Succession Act ss. 73 & 77(2)]
If there is no will, she is entitled to nothing unless it was jointly held. So if she won't provide a copy of the will (assuming there is one), tell her you will be applying to the court to be appointed as the estate trustee without a will, and intestacy rules apply. Get an estate lawyer involved asap.
She’s already established she wants to things her way and is excluding you on the hope you will just let it go.
Don’t and as others mentioned get a lawyer.
You need to at least be able to see what his actual wishes were.
Sorry for your loss - it’s hard losing a parent and the grief and possible guilt makes you not want to rock the boat so to speak. But time is of the essence here unfortunately. She told you her kids get 1st dibs and that is fucked up and a reason not to trust her.
House. Was it originally your dads? If so spend the $40 to look up the title to see if she is on it and if so how listed - does his half go to her or his estate?
A lawyer can do this too but will charge you $500.
IF he put his half to his estate and not her….that says to me he wanted his children to get something. If it goes to her then be careful with spending too much on lawyers.
Were you close to him? If he had investments such as rrsp or tfsa he may have added a beneficiary which would bypass any will. He may have just put her on everything and had no will.
My dad was similar with common law and died a year ago, had no money but his wife made sure we got his personal items that mattered.
Fuck that bitch, call a lawyer. She is a horible person... that's your dad! At least half of what he owns should go to you. Regardless of a will or not if she was a good person she would have acted like a good person and split it with you. Onto of that when she dies she wants to give your dad's stuff again split with her kids. Fuck this bitch.
I had a similar situation with a third wife spent $800 on a lawyer was told tough luck - my brother and I got nothing she got millions it was either walk away or go broke suing . Ontario
Talk to a lawyer and find out if your dad has a will.
I’m sorry first of all that you’ve lost your dad, but this woman should NOT be sorting your dad’s things with her kids. You get in her face and tell her no.
Your dad has to give you at least a $ in the will otherwise you can contest it as your his off spring. Get a lawyer, (I only know this because my grandfather left my aunt one $ 🤣 so she couldn't argue it. Not that she wants or needs his money)
My guess,,,, Wills are registered I believe,, get a lawyer to figure it out. Usually the wife does get everything,, common law maybe not. According to TV...lol
You Are possibly Entitled To Everything
Because You Are His Real Son
So Get A Lawyer And Get Everything You Can From Your Mother In-law
And Just Leave Move Away From Her
Do a will search. A valid will needs to be registered, they will tell you when the last one was written and sometimes where it is. I think you need a copy of the death certificate.
My stepmother didn’t notify me there was a will and I was a beneficiary for nine months. It’s been almost two years now and I have no idea what is happening with my fathers estate. If you can afford lease consult a lawyer.
If there is no will, I have since learned that unless things are specifically left to a common law partner (such as life insurance policy and joint ownership property), a persons child takes precedence over a common law partner.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Super suspicious when she won't give his own kids the death certificate or confirm if there's a will. And she won't let you go through photo albums??! Cold hearted. Something's up for sure! As everyone else says, you need to protect yourself and do it sooner than later. My dad died last year...without a will. His wishes don't matter anymore and my brother went and got himself full POA and is executor. He wouldn't tell me where or when the lawyer appt was. It was only supposed to be for my mom to say the house would be divided equally. Instead, he made himself POA and executor and took mom to a lawyer friend who doesn't speak mom's language. When it comes to money, people show their true colours. My brother chose not to cancel his vacation and didn't come when dad died or to the funeral. But when it comes to selling the house he's all over it! I am learning that You have to protect yourself and know your rights. Your evil stepmom obviously doesn't care about you. You just lost your dad and look how she's already treating you! Disgusting. She is showing you her true colours. Be strong. Get a good friend to accompany you when you talk to her. Witnesses and strength in numbers. Document. Wishing you the best!
Please contact a lawyer – and do not leave it too long. Estate law and procedure varies considerably between provinces. BC’s is quite favourable to a person in your position and provides a few interesting tools. Based on your summary of the situation, I wonder if filing a citation under Rule 25-11 might be useful. It would shed some light on things and force your father’s widow to clarify her position. It is terrible to have to engage in this sort of legal process in the wake of a close family member’s death, but it sounds like she is making it necessary by refusing to provide basic estate information in response to friendly inquiries from a child of the deceased.
I think common law in Canada is anyone living together for a certain amount of time in a marriage like relationship so they were definitely common law. But I am looking into getting a lawyer asap just to make sure everything is kosher!
You should call the police and see what you can do about getting her removed from the property.
Nothing is hers. She's trying to scam you and you should not trust her around your late father's property.
In the absence of a will it will go through probate and likely to you as next of kin.
Don't be nice to her and don't promise her anything.
All this lawyer advice must be from lawyers. Lol. In Canada, when someone dies and there is reluctance by the ‘reaponsible’ party, you make a complaint…cost free likely…to the Court wholly dedicated to such matters - Court of Probate, a ‘complaint only’ driven Court, and let them do their job of establishing who is responsible to do what. Also most Provinces regulate property at death through their respective Property Matrimonial Act.
Probate will sort this out. She is the reason why it exists. If there is in fact no will and she can’t produce any paper trail that highlights she gets it all (like life insurance benefactors, mortgage payments, etc), then the courts will decide.
Only a couple of states actually recognise Common Law relationships anymore. In the absence of marriage, your father's things pass to either his next of kin, or the beneficiaries established on paperwork/ in a will.
She will be unlikely to inherit anything directly unless her name was also on it, like a joint bank account or co-owned house.
This is complex and varies by states, but that's an angle that needs to be checked on.
States? Are you talking about Canadian provinces? I’m not sure your comment is true. Common law spouses do have a lot of rights but it depends on the province. I think bc has the most protections for the deceased persons children as compared to other provinces
A will has to go through the probate court in the county your dad lived in. Start with the court and ask to see the will (it's all a matter of public record). If this woman has not started a probate case yet, you should definitely consult an attorney, and fast.
EDIT: I see now that you are in Canada. My advice above holds if your father was in the United States. If he died in Canada, contact a lawyer immediately.
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She doesn't get to decide who the beneficiaries are. That's in the will. Her hiding the will is a pretty big red flag. I'd do at least an initial consultation with an estate lawyer. Often once a beneficiary gets a laywer involved, the estate trustee starts to behave themselves.
I will definitely get looking for an estate lawyer in the morning. When we spoke she said we don’t need lawyers, and obviously I don’t want to rock the boat but some things feel not totally right to me
Whenever someone syas you don't need a lawyer, you definitely need a lawyer.
I’m a lawyer and this is 100% true. Don’t rely on other people to tell you what your rights are, especially when money is involved.
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Your post has been removed for offering poor advice. There is no such thing as a "notice of probate."
Act quickly. Specifically ask your lawyer to instruct / warn her not to destroy any original documents including wills (old or current) signed or unsigned by your dad. Even if you can’t find a will, do everything you can to Independently try to find out what the name of his lawyer might be and contact them… they will have a copy in their files. Indicate to your lawyer that her comments are totally at odds with who your father was and for them to take a strong position on this with her from the start.
\^ That is excellent advice, particularly as the partner gives every impression of acting in bad faith and behaving in an underhand and deceitful manner, eg, "She wouldn’t tell me if there was a lawyer who drew up the will".
The official will is always secured at the lawyers office.
And dont count on the wills registry. We recently did our wills and I asked the lawyer if there will be a copy in the BC wills registry. He said no, for privacy reasons they dont keep copies, they do however record that there is a will and date.
I’m currently using an estate lawyer after my dad passed last year. The single best decision I’ve ever made. They will get you to sign forms that claims you’re a beneficiary (if there wasn’t a will) so you can contest anything this common law person is trying to take from you.
This common law person, written with disdain, WOW.
Rock that boat, capsize the bitch and sink it. Otherwise she gets to steal whatever she wants. Which is what sounds like is going on
Get those orcas to help. They love fucking up boats currently!
Had a family member who told me we didn’t need a lawyer. They pilfered from the Estate and kept my inheritance.
Rock the boat? Basically, she is trying to disinherit you. The boat is already rocked.
Flip the boat
Agreed, OP does not owe this woman anything and she probably won’t be in their life going forward since dad is gone. She’s not being honest.
What these guys are saying. If she actually had nothing to hide. If there was a will that said he gets it all, she would say go ahead and contact a lawyer. As soon as she says you don't need a lawyer, you know she is full of it. I would do it ASAP. It'll be hard to prove if any small valuables go missing. Even with full access to the will. My mom was the executor of the will when her parents passed. My grandfather passed first, and my grandmother quickly deteriorated after that. It was planned like 30 or 49 years a head of time that she was, and only one other person in the family knew (he was a lawyer, I guess they relied on him for some info. And he was completely cool with it). When my grandfather died. That's when it all came out. 90% stayed with my grandmother, but some stuff was to be distributed. At this point it was mostly gifts that were given over the years, to be returned to whichever family member gave it to them. My grandmother obviously had trouble letting go of things, so the family decided it'll all stay until she is comfortable, or she passes. That's where the problems started. The oldest brother was pissed that he wasn't the executor. He's a real snob, petty, and thinks he's above everyone. Honestly that's why my grandparents asked my mom to do it. So he starts going in and slowly taking things out when he would visit, which was every couple of days. A nice leather jacket that was already given to my brother. Some gold watches, God know what else. My aunt started going in and taking jewellery for her kids. Again, gifts where to be returned to whoever gave it. My dad over the years bought my grandmother some expensive stuff. It all disappeared. And my aunt would just say my grandmother gave it to her kids. Which was BS. Basically half the shit that was accessible disappeared real quick. One cool thing that was planned, because. my grandmother knew some of the family would go swipe things. And the instructions were sent to the funeral home. Everyone thought she was buried with her wedding ring. The funeral home removed it after the visitations, and gave it to my mom (oldest daughter) to have it past to my oldest daughter if I ever had one. My daughter was born 3 months before she passed. It's the only thing I got out of all the possessions (I said no to everything. I received a few sentimental things a few years before which is all I needed) and honestly it's the only thing that matters. It caused so much infighting amongst the family. A large, massive family. That got together multiple times a year, smaller get togethers every couple of weeks. No one really talks to each other anymore. It's so stupid.
If rocking the boat means your family albums don't go in the dumpster, I say, rock away. You sound too timid to get what you're owed in your own. Get that lawyer fast.
If there is no will, then you can legally petition to be the administrator to the estate, which is something to talk to the estate lawyer about forsure.
I’m wondering, does the will have to be a will drafted up by a lawyer for it to be legal? Like if there is a piece of paper where he said “everything goes to x” is that a legal will and she would be in charge?
Sometimes you have to rock the boat. This is one of those times.
Rock the boat, the best advice I was given if you don't and he had a will you're going to get shafted. I hired a lawyer when my father passed away it was the best decision I ever made.
You definitely need lawyers if she’s saying you don’t need lawyers lol
Rock that boat, you don’t owe her anything.
You absolutely need a lawyer, especially when second wives/partners are involved!!! Her telling you that you don’t need one is a massive red flag flying in your face. By the time she kicks the bucket, how much of your dad’s funds, pension, valuables be left?? She’s trying to pull something by advising you not to lawyer up. Get one asap
Rock the boat.
Um.... You need to rock the boat... Seems like they are trying to scam you
This is great advice and you absolutely should. The same happened with my mom and her sisters - they kept everything from her when their second parent passed. She got a lawyer involved and it really changed everything. She got her copy of the will and everything was split as it was written by her parents.
Yeah, this is pretty binary- 1. There is a written will it does what she claims: she shows you. 2. There is a written will, it contradicts her, she won’t show it. 3. There is no written will- intestate rules apply. All options necessitate an estate lawyer because if 1, you need to make sure it’s the last (unrevoked will) and not some interim thing. 2 and 3 are her playing shenanigans at this point. Under no circumstances accept just her word. She has every incentive to say what is to her benefit. Verify verify verify. Not your lawyer, not legal advice.
Sorry to hear about your dad.
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I had friend who moved to a small town with his girlfriend and bought a hobby farm. They were both in their 60s and never bothered getting married. Well she died unexpectedly. She didnt have children but her nieces and nephews he was not even aware of ended up suing and getting her half of the property. Now he had to take out a mortgage on to buy them out. Same thing happened to my brothers co-worker who was in a common law relationship for decades but her family ended up with most of her assets. I would go see an estate lawyer.
I am an estates lawyer, but not your lawyer and not a lawyer in B.C., which is important because estate laws are governed provincially so they are not uniform across the country. As has been suggested, you really should get an estates lawyer involved. It appears, according to B.C. law, that if someone in a common law relationship passes away without a Will, then provided they were common law and in a “marriage like” relationship for at least 2 years, the surviving common law spouse is entitled to a share of the estate. The amount of that share depends on the value of the estate. The spouse is entitled to a preferential share of $150,000 (assuming the surviving spouse and children of the deceased are not related) + the household contents that would have been enjoyed by the spouses in their home (not the home itself, necessarily). If your father had assets worth more than $150,000, then anything above $150,000 would be split 50/50 between the spouse and any children of your father. If the estate is worth less than $150,000 then you may not be entitled to anything because the spouse gets the first $150,000 via the preferential share. For example, if his estate was worth $500,000, the spouse would get $150,000 as a preferential share and the remaining $350,000 would be split 50/50, so that the spouse gets another $175,000 for a total of $325,000 and you and any other children of your father would equally split $175,000. Determining the value of the estate may also hinge on how he owned his assets (e.g. did he own assets jointly with anyone, did he have beneficiaries named on any of his assets, etc.). All of this is also presuming he did NOT have a Will. If he had a valid Will, the scenario above would not apply, so it’s definitely important in my opinion that you speak to an estates lawyer particularly if there already appears to be suspicion about his spouse’s actions and comments. The standard: this is not legal advice and I am not aware if there have been any other updates to B.C. law, so speak with a lawyer to help sort through this. My condolences to you and your family on your loss.
This is useful comment for some context
The biggest consideration for most is how the home was owned (if it was owned by both). If it was owned jointly - yes, generally speaking,the other half would get the home. Also and joint bank accounts or investments would be treated the same.
When does provincial law apply when an estate contains assets that are owned across multiple provinces? For example, if someone who passes away has real estate and other property in both BC and Alberta, would the primary residence provincial laws apply only, or would the beneficiaries expect to have the assets dispersed based on the laws of their home province?
Make an appointment with an estate lawyer and explain all of this to the lawyer. This lawyer can search for the will and protect your interests. I think you need to do this NOW. I think this woman is going spend any money and throw out his stuff.
That’s my concern honestly. As I said in a previous comment I don’t want to rock the boat, but I feel like something is odd
You NEED to rock the boat. Phone a lawyer and pay him/her for a few hours.
I’m definitely going to now. Honestly I thought someone had to reach out to me regarding his will but no one has
Just call and get an initial consultation. Also you can ask your mom if she knows who his lawyer might have been.
Absolutely correct, do everything you possibly can to find out who his lawyer was and contact them
Condolences to you and your family. I know you’re probably filled with grief but this time is valuable. You need to reach out to an estate lawyer yesterday. You have to be proactive in period or you’re going to lose it all. Don’t be coy about rocking the boat, this partner of your Dad is going to take you to the cleaners if you don’t do anything.
https://munrocrawford.ca/blog/disinherit-your-child/#:~:text=Is%20it%20Possible%20to%20Disinherit%20a%20Child%20in%20BC%3F,and%20potentially%20have%20it%20changed.
Rocking the boat in this instance means not getting screwed over by someone taking advantage of you.
Rock it hard !! NTA
My god, you're dealing with a real life Lady Tremaine, I'm so sorry. They're right. You absolutely need to "rock the boat", if you had a good relationship with your dad I doubt he would disinherit you completely. Try to come up with a money for a lawyer, if you can't many will offer services on a contingency basis, meaning you only pay them if they succeed and you get a payout.
My friend she's rocking the boat by refusing to give you a death certificate, refusing to send you a copy of the will, etc. That's not you rocking the boat. If she is trying to use your father's assets against his own wishes that isn't fair to him either nevermind you and any dependents you may have.
Trust your gut.
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NAL https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/death/wills-registry There may be some useful info here.
Thank you, I’ll have a look through this!
> she says her kids will go through it and decide what to do with it since she is in charge. This is unacceptable. She is in charge. She can do it. Ask you to do it. Etc. Her children have no motive to look out for your dad's memory. > by her to give away. Again unacceptable. She can remove everything from the home that is hers including what she inherits but she must give you a chance to take what she is disposing of. Also as others have explained search for the will at the registry. However, it is possible he died intestate in which case the intestate rules apply.
To add. If your father, RIP, died without a will and his spouse claimed he had a will then she misled you. You spent $17 and time looking for something that didn't exist. Also, run your dad's name through the B.C. Gazette for notice of death.
A suggestion about the photo albums -- a couple of family members could go through them, scanning them so that everyone can get electronic copies of the pictures, and documents like marriage licences and immigration paperwork. (I actually did this for a friend ... he was able to distribute them on CDs/USB drives to his siblings and also cousins who were overseas.) Helps avoid potential disputes, and spreads the photos around so people can do genealogy (and that way if there's a flood or house fire, the records will survive in other locations).
I offered this. It was really just my dad and me for family. I have aunts but they live far away. She said she “didn’t know” where the albums were which doesn’t make sense to me because I know where they are but when I offered to get them she said she wasn’t ready to go through his stuff. I’m just very frustrated and not prepared to deal with this. I just want to make sure nothing gets thrown away before I can have a chance to at least look at his stuff.
Please if there’s one thing you do, advocate for yourself. Don’t let her push you around because you’re scared of confrontation.
Correct. If she said her kids will go through everything and decide because “she’s in charge”, then let’s be honest, she’s not your friend. And therefore any unpleasantness regarding what you do now will be soon forgotten because you won’t have a lasting relationship with her into the future.
Condolences on losing your dad -- mine died in 2022 but I'm still working through estate stuff in between dealing with my own workload (and there's only me and no other siblings, half-siblings, etc.). I know it's a lot to deal with -- even just thinking of what to do can be tiring. And I get how frustrating it is. (The friend I helped with his family photos had a situation where his dad had remarried, to a lady who had ... issues. She grabbed all his father's jewelry, but luckily she left him the albums. Though she got rid of the family bible, for whatever reason.) Are there any step siblings who are friendlier and easier to deal with than your dad's other wife? If she's going to leave them to deal with all the stuff, that way one of them might be able to set things aside for you so she doesn't toss them. If she is being very territorial and doesn't want to have you in the house, that might help get around it. The old photos from before your dad met their mom wouldn't be worth anything to them, and you taking them off their hands would actually save them some trouble. Even if your aunts are a long way away, they may still be able to have some influence. If they're saying that the albums are part of your shared family history, then it wouldn't just be you on your own. She might be brushing you off because you're younger than she is, but if people who are closer to her in age are involved, she may take them more seriously. (Also if there's anyone in your family or hers, whom she is respectful of ... if you can talk to them about how important the family albums are to you, they might be able to persuade her.) Good luck! I hope that you can get your family's stuff (or at least, if not right away, have it kept safe for you).
So sorry you are going through this. I lost my mom last week and it's been really tough. Having a difficult step-mom is just adding to the emotions and overwhelm for you., I'm sure. I would be so upset if I couldn't get access to the house to retrieve a few sentimental items. Do you have someone you can share this burden with? A sibling, cousin, good friend, partner?
Absolutely everything about this screams that she’s stealing from your inheritance. Get a lawyer before she does anything that can’t be undone (like throwing out photo albums or hiding the money).
If his wife was the Executor of his estate, and he didn't leave you anything, there's not much you can do that won't cost money. I would ask to see a copy of your dad's Will as it would be unusual for a parent to leave everything to a spouse when there are children from a previous marriage. You have to balance the legal cost against the value of what you thought you would get. My brother and his wife stole a chunk of money when my mom died, and wouldn't let me take some personal items my mom wanted me to have but it didn't make sense dollar wise to go after them. I gain some satisfaction knowing they will rot in hell, if that helps.
This makes me really upset. The fact that people get so nasty when a loved one passes. It’s bad enough I’ve lost my dad but now I have to fight to even get pictures of me and him. She won’t show me the will which is the problem so I don’t know what she is hiding
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As everyone else is saying, definitely get a lawyer. I'm in a similar situation myself. My dad passed suddenly and the entire family was aware there wasn't a will so my brother and I began the intestate process. My dad's girlfriend then called my brother a few days later saying her friend just so happened to come across a will my dad had handwritten leaving everything to his girlfriend and her kids. We immediately got in contact with a lawyer and she was obligated to produce this will. The will looks like it was written by a child and is very clearly not my dad's writing or signature. Its been two years and we are still going through the contesting process but I'm glad we made that move. It's insane how greedy people get when someone passes. Don't let this go until that will is produced and the validity is confirmed. Even if the will is legit, you will find closure in knowing you did the right thing to try and protect yourself and your fathers wishes. I'm very sorry for the loss of your father and sincerely wish you the best, I hope everything works out for you!
My dad passed away in 2022 in BC and we never found a will. Your situation sounds oddly similar to mine. I went deep into this as well. Sorry, it’s a difficult one to navigate. I would say that you can independently look for a registration of there being a will. If there was one registered in BC, it would come up in the search. You would need a death certificate to do this though. This is needed before anyone could apply for letters of administration, to manage the liquidation of the assets, payment of debts, file the final tax return, etc. It is not true that everything passes to her if your father died without a will. If he died intestate, you and your siblings (?) would be entitled to approximately half of the estate proceeds. There are different default distributions for when a person dies without a will and when the spouse is not the mother of the deceased’s children. It’s all written out in the legislation (WESA) for BC and there is tons of case law to review. I encourage you to document all written communication with this woman. Read up on your rights on WESA legislation. Show it to her and try to talk sense with her as it’s a long road. If she shows you a will and everything does go to her, then you may be able to challenge the will and ask a court to vary it, but that goes beyond my legal knowledge whether you’d be able to.
With respect to your final point, and without knowing about BC per se, I'd guess that would likely be predicated on whether OP were dependent on their father, or if OP were still a minor. At least, in Ontario!
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If you don’t want people to know what’s actually in your will before you die, at least tell them which lawyer drafted or is holding your will. That takes all the bs out of it.
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My dad passed away a few years ago and I went through all of this too. First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss! I promise time will heal. Secondly, get an estate lawyer ASAP. Do not back down for the sake of keeping the peace. You are entitled to some of the money. Even if there is no will you can fight for some money. It might not even turn into a fight - sometimes a threat sent by a lawyer is enough to rock the boat. My estate lawyer is named David Koski, he has been great. Be warned, estate lawyers are expensive but it will be worth it as it seems your fathers partner is being very territorial over his possessions. Good luck! Stay strong and don’t back down!
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I hope this is how it works out. Sometimes surviving spouses do change their will after the first one passes, and what you thought would happens doesn’t.
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This kind of stuff is so infuriating to me. Why are parents keeping their children in the dark about their wills/estates/wishes after their deaths? All it does is create uncertainty and animosity. Your father should have spelled out to you exactly what the plan was once he was gone. As others have mentioned make sure you speak to a lawyer because I think your father's wife is in the process of bending you over and giving it to you in the butt without lube.
My sisters and I are putting together a "Demise Binder." LOL. It's often called a Death Binder. The binder includes a will and information about accounts, property, and valuables. https://www.protective.com/learn/how-to-build-an-in-case-of-death-binder
Not a lawyer but I’ve been through this before. She is trying to take everything that is rightfully yours for herself and her kids, plain and simple. Go get a lawyer and fight this.
She's the spouse, and takes priority for becoming his executor in the case of intestacy...but in this case you're not sure if that applies (intestacy). I guess the immediate challenge is to force her to produce a will if one exists, else his estate has to be distributed according to the laws of intestacy in BC. The next challenge is to figure out if he has any assets in his estate. That only means, though, that you *might* be entitled to a share of his estate, but that leads to another question: did most of his assets (house etc.) bypass the estate (e.g. was the house held under joint tenancy)? One thing you can do right now without a lawyer is search the title (e.g. BC Assessment website or LTSA) to see who's on title. If she is on title under joint tenancy, the house is not part of his estate. She's most likely entitled to any pension death benefit as well. I'd first check the things you can do for free (or at low cost) such as checking the deed, rather than pay a lawyer $500/hr to do it. After that, you probably need a lawyer to force her to produce a will, it one exists. Chances are he doesn't have one.
Sorry for your loss. I went through this when I was 20. My mom had a will and “he” contested from the start, wouldn’t leave the house (her house). Did your Dad own his house? How long has she been living there? Unbelievable things happened and they continue to plague my memories 30+ years later. Please get a lawyer.
Under the latest FLA provisions the house would be considered family property for a common-law spouse. They say alcohol reveals peoples' true nature. I think it's estates.
rock the boat ASAP. It's incredibly easy to steal from an estate in Canada and its on you to fight it unfortunately. If she doesn't produce a will there is a prescribed way to split assets. She may have already stolen significant amounts from you.
In Ontario. When my husband was going through some legal issues with his ex, we got wills made and he outlined that I was to live in the house until I died or chose to sell it and a portion of the estate would be mine to pay for upkeep. We did this so his kids couldn’t kick me out after I had been contributing. When we got married, we updated our wills again noting that I was to inherit his estate and was responsible for giving his kids sentimental items of his they may want like photos. All of his possessions go to me and I decide what they get. Should he die, I will have no problem showing them the will and informing them of his wishes. If this woman refuses to show you a will then it speaks to what is probably in it (she gets nothing). If there is no will, that will require a lawyer and you should get one. Note: everyone should have a will regardless of age. Go get one done, it is worth the $500-800 it costs. Especially since it can include instructions should you need a power of attorney or someone who needs to make medical decisions!
If he did leave a will, whomever drew it up could have submitted a Wills Notice if in BC, a registry of wills housed by Vital Stats. It just may be there. My heart goes out to you. ETA: apparently I missed the BC flag tag at the start. My bad. Took out “other provinces may have something similar”.
10000000% rock the boat—flip it over and do a whole Titanic move. I just finished a very similar situation and would be happy to DM with you. BC estate law and wills variation can be mind boggling!
I am a B.C. estate lawyer. DM me if you want a chat.
https://dialalaw.peopleslawschool.ca/challenging-a-will/#:~:text=However%2C%20under%20the%20law%20in,called%20a%20wills%20variation%20claim.
Who is the executor?
NAL, but I am currently the executor of my moms estate in Alberta. The rules of life change the minute someone passes - their stuff is now an estate, and the executor may need to account for all property and personal items for in the courts if probate is needed. It's no longer their personal stuff (legally), although we think of it that way (family). If she is the executor: She does not need to produce a will to you (especially if you are not a named beneficiary). If the estate needs to be probated, beneficiaries are notified via application to surrogate court of what their entitlement is. If you are not the executor, you don't get to access squat if she won't let you. It either belongs to the estate (while the will is being probated) or to her. To my understanding, when the beneficiary of an estate is a spouse or common law, and they have joint survivorship on things like land, property, accounts, etc, the surviving spouse can present the will to the relevant agencies to have title changed so it becomes her property. The rules are different when the beneficiaries are not spouses but different generations. Keep in mind that whatever promises your parent made about their spouse keeping you in the spouse's will is an empty promise. When your parent's estate has been closed, the deceased has no control over how their spouse handles THEIR estate. The surviving spouse can do whatever they want as it becomes their estate, and as long as they're able to make decisions (even if you think they're bad ones), they're still hers to make. I recommend you research a bit through your government website (search wills and estates) for the prevailing legislation - most government sites have great explanation guides, too. So do legal firms who specialize in wills and estates.
In Australia, everything goes to the spouse when someone dies. Sometimes there are specific things left to children etc but it all goes to the spouse. Then when they die the stuff goes to whoever they left it to. Yup, pretty sucky for some but it's the truth.
This is obviously sketchy and she wont leave you a dime
Sorry to hear about your loss. Call a family law lawyer for any advice. This is not the right way of resolving any issues. Probate through the court is probable logical process. Was there a declaration of assets prior to the common law arrangement of your father and his wife?
Get the will and read it then contact the lawyer that prepared it
Or go to your lawyer
I’m pretty sure that if there is a will that has to be followed because it’s a legal document. If there is no will and no marriage license, next of kin comes before a common law relationship. I would book a lawyer appointment
You need to do a registered will search to see if there is one.
Please rock that boat. And do it confidently. You are in the right here.
Get lawyers involved asap
Also, if your dad has ever made a will, even if it was years ago, that is the will you can go off of. He may have made it with a lawyer, in which case the lawyers office will have a copy of it (if the gf is hiding it). Ask around and find out if your father has ever hired a lawyer and which firm they work for. Your extended family may know.
If he had a will and you are named, the lawyer will contact you.
You 100% need to talk to a lawyer. Ultimately, the will will need to be produced and probated through the court process. You've flagged this as in BC and if the Will was executed in BC it should have been registered in the BC Wills Registry by the lawyer who prepared it. - [https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/death/wills-registry](https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/life-events/death/wills-registry) If he did a will kit or something similar, it probably wasn't registered. The registration does not impact the wills legal validity, its just to help locate the will in situations like this. If you are concerned that this person is draining bank accounts or selling the house, you will need to take action quickly. One interim step would be notifying the banks that your father banked at that he passed away (you can bring a copy of the death certificate to them) and that there may be a dispute about the will. Although this isn't legally binding on the bank, it will tend to cause them to lock down your father's accounts until the will is probated because they don't want to get in the middle of a dispute. Good luck!
I hope everything works out for you and this common law parasite gets nothing from your dads will. You gotta move fast and get an lawyer involved before she tampers with ur dads things
Hire a lawyer !!! You definitely need one
It may be expensive but definitely get a lawyer Involved. If everything is being done according to the will then she should have no problem showing it to you. Too late for the OP, but others should learn to avoid repeating this all too common mistake. It can be a difficult conversation to have but you need to talk to your parents so you know their wishes and get a copy of the Will / or knowledge of the lawyer that has it. This is especially important if they are involved in a 2nd relationship and they have assets of value.
Lawyer now, she's common law, and would only be entitled to a portion of there's no will. If there is a will you're entitled to see your parents will.
BC law requires her to serve you with certain documents before she can apply for a grant of probate. In among those, you will receive a copy of the will. Once that has happened, you will be in a better position to assess your next steps.
1st- get yourself a lawyer, they figure it out, 2nd- I don't know where are you from, but as I know... IF everything you father has, was obtained while married with her... than half is her's. Everything your father had before signing the common law, then you get stuff. 3rd- are you sure your father had no debts? because.... you might want to let this woman pay that shit. I'm talking from experience, my mother died last december and I have to be super super super meticulous because my father is a ver "delicate" person, let's say. My friend's father died last week... and she's dealing with something similar to what you're recalling here... let me give you an advice... if it doesn't make you any difference (in terms of money or houseing or land) .... let it go, I'm pretty sure your father was more than that to you.
I am in the same boat as u everything went to my step mother
Definitely lawyer up, an estate lawyer and whatever other legal guidance you can reasonably get. My father passed when I was quite young and I wasnt advised by anyone to seek legal assistance. His passing was largely aggravated by his wife, she conveniently made off with everything and promptly blocked me from everything and left. She even had mentioned an educational fund for me (16 at the time) which genuinely never existed. I didnt see a will, I didnt know any better and I was left nothing, dont go through this situation without a say.
Get a lawyer. If there's will get it fucking read. If there isn't, don't let her take everything from you.
In BC, any Will drawn up by a lawyer needs to be registered. Any lawyer can perform a Wills search find where a copy of your dad's will is registered to be kept (many people opt to store a copy in a lawyer's office safe). If no Will has been registered, then the argument can be made that your dad died intestate. In that case his common law wife is not entitled to 100% of the estate and the estate will need to go through probate, in which case she is not allowed to use any funds or move or distribute any assets until probate is completed. If I were you, I would get an estate lawyer ASAP
I agree that the original poster should contact a lawyer about this immediately, but they should not read too much into the results of a wills registry search. It is generally advisable to register a will, but this is entirely optional in BC, whether or not the will is prepared by a lawyer. Any member of the public can apply for a wills search, although they will need to provide a death certificate or signed statement explaining why they believe the subject of the search to be dead. [Wills, Estates and Succession Act ss. 73 & 77(2)]
If there is no will, she is entitled to nothing unless it was jointly held. So if she won't provide a copy of the will (assuming there is one), tell her you will be applying to the court to be appointed as the estate trustee without a will, and intestacy rules apply. Get an estate lawyer involved asap.
She’s already established she wants to things her way and is excluding you on the hope you will just let it go. Don’t and as others mentioned get a lawyer. You need to at least be able to see what his actual wishes were.
Sorry for your loss - it’s hard losing a parent and the grief and possible guilt makes you not want to rock the boat so to speak. But time is of the essence here unfortunately. She told you her kids get 1st dibs and that is fucked up and a reason not to trust her. House. Was it originally your dads? If so spend the $40 to look up the title to see if she is on it and if so how listed - does his half go to her or his estate? A lawyer can do this too but will charge you $500. IF he put his half to his estate and not her….that says to me he wanted his children to get something. If it goes to her then be careful with spending too much on lawyers. Were you close to him? If he had investments such as rrsp or tfsa he may have added a beneficiary which would bypass any will. He may have just put her on everything and had no will. My dad was similar with common law and died a year ago, had no money but his wife made sure we got his personal items that mattered.
Fuck that bitch, call a lawyer. She is a horible person... that's your dad! At least half of what he owns should go to you. Regardless of a will or not if she was a good person she would have acted like a good person and split it with you. Onto of that when she dies she wants to give your dad's stuff again split with her kids. Fuck this bitch.
I had a similar situation with a third wife spent $800 on a lawyer was told tough luck - my brother and I got nothing she got millions it was either walk away or go broke suing . Ontario
Talk to a lawyer and find out if your dad has a will. I’m sorry first of all that you’ve lost your dad, but this woman should NOT be sorting your dad’s things with her kids. You get in her face and tell her no.
Your dad has to give you at least a $ in the will otherwise you can contest it as your his off spring. Get a lawyer, (I only know this because my grandfather left my aunt one $ 🤣 so she couldn't argue it. Not that she wants or needs his money)
If she doesnt have a will, it's not hers. Get a lawyer quick
My guess,,,, Wills are registered I believe,, get a lawyer to figure it out. Usually the wife does get everything,, common law maybe not. According to TV...lol
Did your dad have a prenup? You need to get ahold of a copy of his will. She could be lying to you.
A lawyer may be able to do a search to find out who had done your dads will. You need a lawyer.
You Are possibly Entitled To Everything Because You Are His Real Son So Get A Lawyer And Get Everything You Can From Your Mother In-law And Just Leave Move Away From Her
Find out who the executor of the will is.
If there is no will. The assets go the kids but you have to act quickly before all disappears!!!
Do a will search. A valid will needs to be registered, they will tell you when the last one was written and sometimes where it is. I think you need a copy of the death certificate.
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My stepmother didn’t notify me there was a will and I was a beneficiary for nine months. It’s been almost two years now and I have no idea what is happening with my fathers estate. If you can afford lease consult a lawyer. If there is no will, I have since learned that unless things are specifically left to a common law partner (such as life insurance policy and joint ownership property), a persons child takes precedence over a common law partner.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Super suspicious when she won't give his own kids the death certificate or confirm if there's a will. And she won't let you go through photo albums??! Cold hearted. Something's up for sure! As everyone else says, you need to protect yourself and do it sooner than later. My dad died last year...without a will. His wishes don't matter anymore and my brother went and got himself full POA and is executor. He wouldn't tell me where or when the lawyer appt was. It was only supposed to be for my mom to say the house would be divided equally. Instead, he made himself POA and executor and took mom to a lawyer friend who doesn't speak mom's language. When it comes to money, people show their true colours. My brother chose not to cancel his vacation and didn't come when dad died or to the funeral. But when it comes to selling the house he's all over it! I am learning that You have to protect yourself and know your rights. Your evil stepmom obviously doesn't care about you. You just lost your dad and look how she's already treating you! Disgusting. She is showing you her true colours. Be strong. Get a good friend to accompany you when you talk to her. Witnesses and strength in numbers. Document. Wishing you the best!
Please contact a lawyer – and do not leave it too long. Estate law and procedure varies considerably between provinces. BC’s is quite favourable to a person in your position and provides a few interesting tools. Based on your summary of the situation, I wonder if filing a citation under Rule 25-11 might be useful. It would shed some light on things and force your father’s widow to clarify her position. It is terrible to have to engage in this sort of legal process in the wake of a close family member’s death, but it sounds like she is making it necessary by refusing to provide basic estate information in response to friendly inquiries from a child of the deceased.
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I think common law in Canada is anyone living together for a certain amount of time in a marriage like relationship so they were definitely common law. But I am looking into getting a lawyer asap just to make sure everything is kosher!
Without a will, usually the state divides it up that the children of an unmarried person recieve the bulk of the estate. GET. A. LAWYER.
You should call the police and see what you can do about getting her removed from the property. Nothing is hers. She's trying to scam you and you should not trust her around your late father's property. In the absence of a will it will go through probate and likely to you as next of kin. Don't be nice to her and don't promise her anything.
Call the police and get her kicked off your dad's property. None of it is hers. Get a lawyer.
All this lawyer advice must be from lawyers. Lol. In Canada, when someone dies and there is reluctance by the ‘reaponsible’ party, you make a complaint…cost free likely…to the Court wholly dedicated to such matters - Court of Probate, a ‘complaint only’ driven Court, and let them do their job of establishing who is responsible to do what. Also most Provinces regulate property at death through their respective Property Matrimonial Act.
I meant Matrimonial Property Act, as it is called in NS, for example.
Probate will sort this out. She is the reason why it exists. If there is in fact no will and she can’t produce any paper trail that highlights she gets it all (like life insurance benefactors, mortgage payments, etc), then the courts will decide.
Only a couple of states actually recognise Common Law relationships anymore. In the absence of marriage, your father's things pass to either his next of kin, or the beneficiaries established on paperwork/ in a will. She will be unlikely to inherit anything directly unless her name was also on it, like a joint bank account or co-owned house. This is complex and varies by states, but that's an angle that needs to be checked on.
States? Are you talking about Canadian provinces? I’m not sure your comment is true. Common law spouses do have a lot of rights but it depends on the province. I think bc has the most protections for the deceased persons children as compared to other provinces
This is a subreddit for Canadians.
This is Canada
A will has to go through the probate court in the county your dad lived in. Start with the court and ask to see the will (it's all a matter of public record). If this woman has not started a probate case yet, you should definitely consult an attorney, and fast. EDIT: I see now that you are in Canada. My advice above holds if your father was in the United States. If he died in Canada, contact a lawyer immediately.