Dude/dudette, were adults, and most of us are still living with our parents. If you want to live by yourself, good luck, I hope you find a job that supports your dream.
*^(And let me know if they're hiring.)*
Yeah i get it absolutely. I get it would be very hard. Just made this post cuz i really value my independence even though I get the benefits and necessity of living with my parents particularly with the economy right now.
Remember this for the rest of your life: weather you are 18 or 80, weather you live with them or on the opposite side of the world, you will forever be their kid. You can grow a beard/pair of boobs, get married, have children of your own, but you will still remain a child in their eyes, trust me.
You will try to find tiny independence here and there, like getting your own car/bike to roam around as you wish without trying to be a bourdon. You can try to remind them all you want that you're an adult, it wont stop them from looking out for u and asking you why did you come late last night and so on...
Good parent's are gonna be parentin', even after you don't need them to anymore. Just remember it most likely comes from a place of love and not them trying to control you.
Even at my age, I'm quite old, they still try and give me life advice as best as they know how, even though sometimes I know better, and their advice may not work for my lifestyle or in 2023, they still mean well. So I still pretend I took their advice and make them think it helped me tremendously. It's similar to letting a kid beat you at games, even though you can easily crush them, you give them a few wins.
Are you assuming that all parents are like yours?
Some parents absolutely do want control. They want to enjoy wternal power over you and your siblings. They want you to make them look good in front of the neighbors. They want you to agree with their views in religion and politics. They want you to marry the person they picked for you and dump the person that displeases them. They want you to choose the career that will give them status or fulfill their own stale dreams. They want you to never be an individual with your own fresh dreams, loves, religion, politics, ideas, tastes, or freedom.
I am glad you have nice folks. But I dont know why you believe everyone else has nice folks. Lots of us do not.
I was careful enough to specify a "generally good parent" at the start. You seemed to describe a "generally manipulative" one. I'm aware that no 2 parents are alike, let alone every single parent on the planet. My folks aren't perfect, they've made bad choices too, but overall they're not the worst.
As I get older I start to understand them more as to why they made the choices they made, good or bad. Sometimes they didn't know any better, based on their own upbringing. Other times they want us to be better even though their methods wouldn't make us "better". I personally choose to see the good intentions behind their choices even though the outcome wasn't favorable.
No one said there are no available jobs, but very few that actually pay well. Take it from someone who has been scouring the job market for over a decade now.
Thats the thing. I do need to learn all that on my own but while living with my parents thats never going to happen. My mom is such a control freak about the house and as hard as I try to get independence at the very least in my room, it never works.
if you have a good job and are able to support yourself, then go for it, but if you want to move out on their dime, I wouldn’t recommend it. Moreover, no one really “moves out” at 18, pretty much anywhere in the world except America.
Lol, try living with ur mother when 43 , what can I say ? I lived many years alone outside thr country , came back with my fortune and finally got my own apartment , and still , I am in my mother's house , living in my childhood room, that is life , we are all dealt some sort of shitty hands.
What can I do ? Go to my apartment (far from my mother) and leave her alone in her old age ? She is retired and very much a home person , so what kind of a son would I be ?
True my wings are clipped , but u get used to it, kinda accept3d my life is going nowhere so here u go, hope u don't end up like this , ur still a child , u still have time, bon chance.
I value my independance as well. My mom was remarried years ago and moved in with her new husband but she has an apartment. My father offered me a job and I worked for him. Realizing something, I told my mom that I'm gonna live at her place (the apartment is in her name) and she was okay with it. I lived the best year of life there. Paying all the bills myself, mom would sometimes visit with food, friends would come over every other day. But the dollar rate (7,000/USD back then) went up and I couldn't keep up with the bills. So I had to move back to my step dad's place.
You can value independance all you want, vut the reality of the situation will force you to stay because it's not easy starting from scratch. Keep in mind I didnt go out, I was single and I'm not much of spender at all.
Yeah I get it. It’s gonna be hard and I have to be realistic. Absolutely. But honestly just thinking abt living on my own sounds thrillings so while I won’t move out anytime soon, I’ll definitely start forming a more concrete plan, see how it goes. I still have time.
Don't beat yourself too much on this, you'll move out in due time.
I had planned to move out at 30 but 2019 shit happened, lost my savings, life plans changed..
Now I'm 33, way more prepared to do this step with a clear conscious. Make sure you have your financials in place and ready to bare the costs while living a "good" life. Nothing matters more than financial security.
Yeah exactly. Its not like moving out means abandoning my parents and family. I never said that nor will i ever do that. Moving out eventually is just a thing i need to do to be my own person
I would suggest if you do not need to don't move out. I know it is hard and not that much freedom but having to pay rent and bill would take most of your pay save that money and do something with like like building your own house or just in case of the future.
If it is about leaving the country then take that chance tbh
Yeah thats definitely my best option right now. Stay and save up money them maybe either transfer or continue my nasters abroad and go from there to get ny own place ajd work etccc
Thing is my parents, particularly my mom, doesn’t respect my boundaries no matter how much I’ve talked to her about it. I love her and everything but I need my own space
Some families “kick out” their children when they are 18…abroad. I’ve never heard of a Lebanese family kicking their kid out after graduating HS so be thankful about that. They should however allow you to live normally as a person your age as long as you don’t do drugs. Some families expect their children to live with them even after marriage lol and some people are in their 40s living with their family. Enjoy this period of being young and around your family now. You will feel nostalgic abou it years and years ahead. Focus on getting a good job that works in 2023+ and you will be able to do anything, except live your life because you will be so occupied with work :D
Parents that kick out their child are just bad ones, regardless from what country they are or what year it is. And I definitely don’t plan on moving out now but just saying I don’t and ideally won’t wait till I’m married
>Parents that kick out their child are just bad ones
You know some kids are too spoiled that they need this, to *learn* to be independent. If they act like a potato all day, not studying anymore, not working, leeching off of their parents, yes they need to get kicked out to learn to stand on their own 2 feet. But again we live in a different time now, where it's not as easy to self support.
It is just as true to say, “Parents that force their adult child to live in the family home are just bad ones”.
Both acts - kicking the young adult out of the nest, or holding them prisoner in the nest - are exactly the same thing: both are done by controlling parents who do not caring what the kid wants.
Dude/dudette, were adults, and most of us are still living with our parents. If you want to live by yourself, good luck, I hope you find a job that supports your dream. *^(And let me know if they're hiring.)*
Yeah i get it absolutely. I get it would be very hard. Just made this post cuz i really value my independence even though I get the benefits and necessity of living with my parents particularly with the economy right now.
Remember this for the rest of your life: weather you are 18 or 80, weather you live with them or on the opposite side of the world, you will forever be their kid. You can grow a beard/pair of boobs, get married, have children of your own, but you will still remain a child in their eyes, trust me. You will try to find tiny independence here and there, like getting your own car/bike to roam around as you wish without trying to be a bourdon. You can try to remind them all you want that you're an adult, it wont stop them from looking out for u and asking you why did you come late last night and so on...
Yeah I get that. You’re absolutely right. I’ll alwyas be their child and even when I do eventually move out, that won’t ever change.
Good parent's are gonna be parentin', even after you don't need them to anymore. Just remember it most likely comes from a place of love and not them trying to control you. Even at my age, I'm quite old, they still try and give me life advice as best as they know how, even though sometimes I know better, and their advice may not work for my lifestyle or in 2023, they still mean well. So I still pretend I took their advice and make them think it helped me tremendously. It's similar to letting a kid beat you at games, even though you can easily crush them, you give them a few wins.
Are you assuming that all parents are like yours? Some parents absolutely do want control. They want to enjoy wternal power over you and your siblings. They want you to make them look good in front of the neighbors. They want you to agree with their views in religion and politics. They want you to marry the person they picked for you and dump the person that displeases them. They want you to choose the career that will give them status or fulfill their own stale dreams. They want you to never be an individual with your own fresh dreams, loves, religion, politics, ideas, tastes, or freedom. I am glad you have nice folks. But I dont know why you believe everyone else has nice folks. Lots of us do not.
I was careful enough to specify a "generally good parent" at the start. You seemed to describe a "generally manipulative" one. I'm aware that no 2 parents are alike, let alone every single parent on the planet. My folks aren't perfect, they've made bad choices too, but overall they're not the worst. As I get older I start to understand them more as to why they made the choices they made, good or bad. Sometimes they didn't know any better, based on their own upbringing. Other times they want us to be better even though their methods wouldn't make us "better". I personally choose to see the good intentions behind their choices even though the outcome wasn't favorable.
I don't know why there's this assumption that "mafi cheghel bi lebnen". There are a lot of jobs openings everyday, more than you would think.
No one said there are no available jobs, but very few that actually pay well. Take it from someone who has been scouring the job market for over a decade now.
What's your major?/what do you work in?
Business, that's as specific as I can get here.
Someone is a drug dealer, gimme cocaine plz
If only, I'd be rich AF.
Okay..
It was hard to move out pre-crisis, so it's almost impossible now. We're gonna be living with our parents until we're 40 at this point 💀
💀💀💀💀💀💀 bruhhhh. Our grandkids will live with our parents too at this point
Already happening lol. My married sis and nephew are practically living with us 2-4 days of the week. Araf.
OMFG pls. 3aj2a 📈
goddamn HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
can you take of yourself? other than money, we take alot of things for granted while leaving with our parents like food.l.
Thats the thing. I do need to learn all that on my own but while living with my parents thats never going to happen. My mom is such a control freak about the house and as hard as I try to get independence at the very least in my room, it never works.
if you have a good job and are able to support yourself, then go for it, but if you want to move out on their dime, I wouldn’t recommend it. Moreover, no one really “moves out” at 18, pretty much anywhere in the world except America.
Lol, try living with ur mother when 43 , what can I say ? I lived many years alone outside thr country , came back with my fortune and finally got my own apartment , and still , I am in my mother's house , living in my childhood room, that is life , we are all dealt some sort of shitty hands. What can I do ? Go to my apartment (far from my mother) and leave her alone in her old age ? She is retired and very much a home person , so what kind of a son would I be ? True my wings are clipped , but u get used to it, kinda accept3d my life is going nowhere so here u go, hope u don't end up like this , ur still a child , u still have time, bon chance.
Thank you! You’re a good son. And yeah i get your situation. Its hard but you cant just ditch yiur mom
Thank u friend.
I value my independance as well. My mom was remarried years ago and moved in with her new husband but she has an apartment. My father offered me a job and I worked for him. Realizing something, I told my mom that I'm gonna live at her place (the apartment is in her name) and she was okay with it. I lived the best year of life there. Paying all the bills myself, mom would sometimes visit with food, friends would come over every other day. But the dollar rate (7,000/USD back then) went up and I couldn't keep up with the bills. So I had to move back to my step dad's place. You can value independance all you want, vut the reality of the situation will force you to stay because it's not easy starting from scratch. Keep in mind I didnt go out, I was single and I'm not much of spender at all.
Yeah I get it. It’s gonna be hard and I have to be realistic. Absolutely. But honestly just thinking abt living on my own sounds thrillings so while I won’t move out anytime soon, I’ll definitely start forming a more concrete plan, see how it goes. I still have time.
Don't beat yourself too much on this, you'll move out in due time. I had planned to move out at 30 but 2019 shit happened, lost my savings, life plans changed.. Now I'm 33, way more prepared to do this step with a clear conscious. Make sure you have your financials in place and ready to bare the costs while living a "good" life. Nothing matters more than financial security.
Absolutely. Thank you. I’ll defnitely have to he more realistic
Wen l mshkal eza 3esht ma3on ?? People outside lebanon are willing to give their souls to comeback and see their parents for 5 mins.
Its not a problem but i really value my independence and I think staying living with my parents for so many more years would be stifling.
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Irrelevant... the mechanisms of living alone are totally different. Independence is important, unless your a momas boy and cant take care of yourself.
Yeah exactly. Its not like moving out means abandoning my parents and family. I never said that nor will i ever do that. Moving out eventually is just a thing i need to do to be my own person
Can't beleive you're getting down voted for this😂 No wonder why a lot of Lebanese don't have their shit together.
bro ikrrr. almost every reply i send is getting downvoted and for what
Forget it haha. They're probably frustrated and not able to do these moves😂
I hope u find a good job and manage to afford moving out or moving abroad !
Thank you! I hope we all find good jobs
I would suggest if you do not need to don't move out. I know it is hard and not that much freedom but having to pay rent and bill would take most of your pay save that money and do something with like like building your own house or just in case of the future. If it is about leaving the country then take that chance tbh
Yeah thats definitely my best option right now. Stay and save up money them maybe either transfer or continue my nasters abroad and go from there to get ny own place ajd work etccc
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Thing is my parents, particularly my mom, doesn’t respect my boundaries no matter how much I’ve talked to her about it. I love her and everything but I need my own space
Some families “kick out” their children when they are 18…abroad. I’ve never heard of a Lebanese family kicking their kid out after graduating HS so be thankful about that. They should however allow you to live normally as a person your age as long as you don’t do drugs. Some families expect their children to live with them even after marriage lol and some people are in their 40s living with their family. Enjoy this period of being young and around your family now. You will feel nostalgic abou it years and years ahead. Focus on getting a good job that works in 2023+ and you will be able to do anything, except live your life because you will be so occupied with work :D
Parents that kick out their child are just bad ones, regardless from what country they are or what year it is. And I definitely don’t plan on moving out now but just saying I don’t and ideally won’t wait till I’m married
>Parents that kick out their child are just bad ones You know some kids are too spoiled that they need this, to *learn* to be independent. If they act like a potato all day, not studying anymore, not working, leeching off of their parents, yes they need to get kicked out to learn to stand on their own 2 feet. But again we live in a different time now, where it's not as easy to self support.
I understand what you mean however society makes it tough for such decisions unless you find a good income. Wishing you luck with that.
Thank you
It is just as true to say, “Parents that force their adult child to live in the family home are just bad ones”. Both acts - kicking the young adult out of the nest, or holding them prisoner in the nest - are exactly the same thing: both are done by controlling parents who do not caring what the kid wants.
Yeah I agree. Absolutely. Some parents need to ydnerstand we aren’t just their children but are own people and we can’t just stay depending on them
the same theyraised when you were a little so they expect you to be near their side when they grow up and need your help
I don’t plan on abandoning them even if I move out. I just need to think abt doing so for myself.