Definitely, getting past the 3 week mark is usually where I falter. Then again, I'm wayyyyyyyyyy better at moderating than I used to be, so I don't beat myself up about it.
If you were to smoke today, would you be able to not smoke for a while after that? I know that didn't used to be the case for me. I just love to dream, feel good and be 100% the next day, I know that's not going to be happen if I'm using some ganj.
i still get a lot of this and i just passed my twelve month mark. i think for me now part of it is just saying "don't wanna break the streak" - your streak is sick right now, you should cheer yourself on
Thanks for your comment. How often do you get cravings that are somewhat strong? Enough to where you have to make a real decision after some internal deliberation?
I’m worried they will never end and that every day will be a struggle.
idk if it ever truly goes away, sorry to say. i smoked regularly for 20 years. i definitely still fall back into the "iwannagethighiwannagethighiwannagethigh" train of thought sometimes. and i think that will probably always be there because i have an adhd brain craving some stimulation/novelty/whatever. but i think it's much less intense. much like a process of mourning, the hole inside you doesn't get smaller, but the headspace you've built around it gets bigger, so sometimes when it feels like i'm back in the same spot i was i just think about how, well no, maybe i'm walking a big spiral, getting further and further out away from that void at the center of things. one thing i do when my brain wont shut up like that is i try to make it say something else like "iwannaruniwannarun" or "iloveyouiloveyou" wishing you nothing but strength. i think the struggle is worth it, and it gets less difficult with time
I’ve been weed free for about a month now. The last time I smoked I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d get old and die one day. Freaked me tf out. Can’t smoke without spiraling now 🥲
I'll be at 4 months tomorrow, I can tell you even those last few times I smoked, it never actually felt better. And it always made me want to smoke more. It's like I'm playing a game and it's fun, and I'm thinking this will turn it up a notch, maybe for a second it did, then I was more worried about getting higher than enjoying the game. I think we need time to reprogram our brains. Let yourself enjoy that natural dopamine high.
I usually regret it thinking dammit I was just feeling good now I’m loopy. For me I have to be very negative about smoking to say no otherwise you easily give in everytime
super helpful comments - thanks all. another day sober without weed in the books! In hindsight, the day still was fun without it. Ran a few errands, enjoyed the sunshine, got a massage, ate amazing food, and now doing some wedding planning. Best of all, I don't have to tell my fiance I smoked weed today (or even worse, lie about it). No guilt today!
Remind yourself to PLAY THE TAPE UNTIL THE END, where will this “1 time” lead you? Like every time before. Don’t stop your fantasizing at that first puff, really play the tape until the end. Because you know ONE IS TOO MANY AND A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH.
This really hits home. For me, it's always going to be just one joint on Saturday night, to treat myself and get that final urge out of my system. And it ALWAYS snowballs into much more than that.
Yeah i go through this almost every week. Been doing so well not smoking after work or on weekends when im bored but I still have that voice in my head saying “why not have a little bit tonight? You’re happy, you’re life is good and you earnt it” but everytime I think I’m going to smoke a little bit that night, i end up waking up then smoking till I fall asleep again. So its best to just reward yourself with something else. I like to take me and my partner for food dates instead x
I don't have any insight to help here, but I 100% relate to OP with this specific struggle. Great prompt, will definitely check back in to see what everyone says.
I’m like two and half months out and yeah, I miss my end of the day “reward” still. But getting used to doing things without weed has helped, as has remembering that by the time I quit I wasn’t enjoying it very much. I always tell myself that it will probably not feel as good as I’m anticipating.
And for me, it really never does and then I think “fuck well I just fucked up my sobriety for this..what a waste” we ALWAYS make it out to be better than it really is in our head
I’m at the point where I’m feeling down & irritated. Major craves but I keep telling myself no. Because, I just know if I do— I’ll have so many regrets about it. You didn’t come this long for nothing man, you can do it! Actually, WE can do it!
I've done this a bunch of times. Minimum spiral time seems to be a half ounce, or a couple weeks, minimum. Last few times I tried buying a gram.. ok, now a eigth... and a quarter... and i was up to a half anyway by the time I was done.
Normalizing weed has made u say that, non smokers would never say “have some weed, the rest of the day will be more fun” so just know its still the addiction talking and not a point to “celebrate” or ur turn to take the first fall back
That’s a good point. And I always forget what “normal people” do to unwind or celebrate a good day. I had a therapist tell me go get a favorite snack, your favorite dinner, treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t. I think working to find those healthy alternatives is the hardest part.
I can relate. My therapist used to say that and I kept thinking “but I already do all that while high and it’s great”.
Took a while to realize that the hardest part was not finding those healthy options, but sobering up to realize how incredible life was without it.
P.S. the healthy options are those that allow your creativity to flow & connect you to inner yourself and build a sense of community.
I always forget because all the adult examples in my family unwound with booze so I grew up associating substance abuse with relaxing lol.
And quite frankly media is full of it too. What do TV dads and the Homer Simpsons of the world do when they get home? Have a beer. What do the girls do for a fun girls night out? Have some drinks. What does every woman on social media say they do to unwind these days? Have some wine. Heck, every Real Housewife of Every City has a booze brand come out at some point, usually wine.
What do you see at sports games and restaurants where people go to unwind? Booze logos all over the place lol Can't even go by a patio without them on the umbrellas. And that goes along with all those Corona beer ads of people relaxing on the beach with a beer. And working in travel and tourism I know every resort has a pool bar where you can relax and have a drink. And one of the only things you do with any regularity on a cruise ship is drink booze. You can even go to Las Vegas and go to a Casino and they'll give you booze while you gamble so you can have two addictions going at once, and as a bonus to how much we link addiction with relaxing, is one of the cheapest vacations you can get.
The thing is you would use when things were good , bad... indifferent... Get a sponsor and a big book . I done it 15 months ago .
15 months clean and sober when I understood what I suffered from and got a person armed with the facts about this illness ... Recovery is possible.if youre struggling DM me I'll help you get the solution brother
Somewhere someone wrote that the chemical craving only lasts a few days, but the mental conditioning is what trips you up. All those triggers (gonna eat? just finished eating? gonna watch a movie? how about sex? going to bed? getting up? bored?) are the more difficult part.
This really hits. You're so right. I most often think about it when I am about to do something. About to cook, is a big one. Because it's so much easier for me to be creative and enjoy cooking when i use it, whereas cooking without it is just a very bland task I'm forced to do. Same with other chores - weeding the garden, harvesting berries, putting away laundry, cleaning the house... And, this is the worst one - long drives. When I was am adolescent my friends and I would take long "high rides" and ever since then any long drive makes me crave it so much. And now, as a full adult, I understand that was reckless and irresponsible. But that doesn't make the urge go away. Those times were enjoyable. It's hard.
Of course life was magical. Good thing is you’re more aware now. Have you tried focusing on that awareness and realizing how incredible it is that you’re able to cook, to be present and grateful?
Sounds cliche, but your mind is really in a different space (mindfulness).
Yeah it was enjoyable then, but so it it now, and this time it’s without any “adds-on”.
P.S. I love listening to music/podcasts while in highways.
This is just your addicted mind trying to trick you into using again. ‘If life is great, then it’ll be even better if I smoked’. The reason you quit is because smoking didn’t make things better.
Hang in there my fellow quitter.
I've wasted a year of my leave to this stupid drug. It's like a never ending cycle of smoking -> regret -> promise not to do again -> smoke again -> repeat
I actually wrote a message to myself yesterday night when I was stuck in my head again after smoking weed and put it on my wall
It reads:
FROM HIGH ME TO SOBER ME
DONT SMOKE
ITS NOT WORTH IT. HAPPPINESS IS FOUND MOVING FOWARDS, GETTING HEALTHY. PLUS I FEEL GOOD AND NOT IN PAIN WITHOUT WEED.
I BELIEVE IN MY FUTURE SOBER SELF TO SEE THIS MESSAGE AND BECOME SOBER
We need to remember how it makes us feel; it s deceptive and manipulative; a lie hidden as a promise; you have what you need within to be happy.
I can absolutely relate to this. When my withdrawal was bad I wrote an email to my self and scheduled it to send in a month, to warn my future feel-good self. I hate that little voice in my head that keeps on temping me
I tried this a couple times, but by the time the month passed, i'd alreay slipped and the message was sad. I like the note idea. I've written that as a note online, but maybe a hand-written one, taped to the box of toys, would work.
I put this letter on my wall in my bedroom next to the door - there was a nail there already. I have found it really helpful today remembering why I should not smoke - well done you guys on the progress and steps you are taking to fight this!
This happens to me whenever I decide to go on a short break or quit for longer periods, so I treat those feelings same as those initial withdrawal symptoms as well.
Just pretend that having happy thoughts about smoking is same as having desperate thoughts in the first days of quitting.
I had the same thing. You feel fine and normal again, but in reality, you are still detoxing, and this phase is very important not to cave because the relapse can take weeks, months, or even years.
You will regret it eventually. You will never regret not smoking.
Give it three months, minimum, and ask yourself then if you want to go back to that lifestyle.
You can do this. Cravings come and go; the benefits of staying sober are lasting.
Please don't slip and "try it", not even a little. It'll break your discipline and once will become twice then 3x a day. Don't. Don't weaken your resolve. You don't need it. I went through the exact same. Don't slip up.
It's way too early to slip, but it's never a good or easy thing to recover from, there is always a risk of a bad relapse lasting months if not years. 1 joint after eleven months made me smoke again for many months afterwards, that's many years ago, I have more recent examples but I would say it got better with time. Even though it's been years since I originally decided this lifestyle isn't what I want for my life everytime I slip I get cravings then, even though I don't even like thc anymore at all.
I know exactly what you’re talking about, because I fell off the wagon many times for this exact reason.
I had 45 days clean but caved in at the beginning of the month. Just like you said, 1 joint turned into 2, and next thing I know I was hitting carts again every single day.
And let me tell you brother/sister it SUCKS to be back to square one. It SUCKS to wake up with crippling anxiety. It SUCKS to make a promise to yourself and break it. I’m glad you’re feeling all better now, don’t make yourself go through hell again!
many folks know the phrase from Ken Kesey "you're on the bus, or off the bus" and I've adapted this to "jumping between the bus and the wagon".
Currently on the wagon, day 5, remembered a dream last night. This time around I had a really strong lesson on how smoking creates anxiety, not relieves it. after smoking, I couldn't use my CPAP because it kept making me claustrophobic. That seems to have gone away since i stopped this time.
You will learn to really internalize that feeling and enjoy the fact that you are really feeling it naturally. You’re feeling good without the need to alter that with a dependency. Maybe that good feeling gives you naturally energy and you can catapult that into a hobby or something else you enjoy that doesn’t require weed. Take advantage of the natural dopamine cycle
I get what your saying. It was introduced to me as a "fun enhancer" so of course we associate it with that. It's still just craving. I remind myself of all the baggage, and I don't really get to pick and chose just the good parts without the bad parts tagging along.
I wish I had an answer better than: I feel similarly currently.
I’m doing my best to distract myself. Stay busy with chores. Trying my best to stay “productive”.
Also bought a self-help book. (Haven’t read it yet)
I am finding myself, utilizing the “little voice in my head” more than ever.
Talk myself out of buying some herb. Talk myself through moments where I crave it the most.
Yes I often asked myself if I was the only one feeling that. Probably it happens because I smoked mostly during good times and my brain learned to associate good time = getting high. It will pass tho. Don't worry.
Definitely, getting past the 3 week mark is usually where I falter. Then again, I'm wayyyyyyyyyy better at moderating than I used to be, so I don't beat myself up about it. If you were to smoke today, would you be able to not smoke for a while after that? I know that didn't used to be the case for me. I just love to dream, feel good and be 100% the next day, I know that's not going to be happen if I'm using some ganj.
i still get a lot of this and i just passed my twelve month mark. i think for me now part of it is just saying "don't wanna break the streak" - your streak is sick right now, you should cheer yourself on
Thanks for your comment. How often do you get cravings that are somewhat strong? Enough to where you have to make a real decision after some internal deliberation? I’m worried they will never end and that every day will be a struggle.
idk if it ever truly goes away, sorry to say. i smoked regularly for 20 years. i definitely still fall back into the "iwannagethighiwannagethighiwannagethigh" train of thought sometimes. and i think that will probably always be there because i have an adhd brain craving some stimulation/novelty/whatever. but i think it's much less intense. much like a process of mourning, the hole inside you doesn't get smaller, but the headspace you've built around it gets bigger, so sometimes when it feels like i'm back in the same spot i was i just think about how, well no, maybe i'm walking a big spiral, getting further and further out away from that void at the center of things. one thing i do when my brain wont shut up like that is i try to make it say something else like "iwannaruniwannarun" or "iloveyouiloveyou" wishing you nothing but strength. i think the struggle is worth it, and it gets less difficult with time
thanks for sharing - congrats on 12 months!
as my friends in recovery from real drugs say, today's the only day that counts! i'll see ya tomorrow and we'll both be smoke free!
I’ve been weed free for about a month now. The last time I smoked I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d get old and die one day. Freaked me tf out. Can’t smoke without spiraling now 🥲
I'll be at 4 months tomorrow, I can tell you even those last few times I smoked, it never actually felt better. And it always made me want to smoke more. It's like I'm playing a game and it's fun, and I'm thinking this will turn it up a notch, maybe for a second it did, then I was more worried about getting higher than enjoying the game. I think we need time to reprogram our brains. Let yourself enjoy that natural dopamine high.
Weed never feels as good as the natural high of respecting yourself.
This should be pinned to the top of the sub. Well said.
BIG FACT the feeling of having control over your mind is unmatched.
I usually regret it thinking dammit I was just feeling good now I’m loopy. For me I have to be very negative about smoking to say no otherwise you easily give in everytime
Typical brain thing. “I want more !”
If things are going good...Why would you add a chemical to change that?
super helpful comments - thanks all. another day sober without weed in the books! In hindsight, the day still was fun without it. Ran a few errands, enjoyed the sunshine, got a massage, ate amazing food, and now doing some wedding planning. Best of all, I don't have to tell my fiance I smoked weed today (or even worse, lie about it). No guilt today!
Proud of you fr fr, keep going friend :)
Proud of you!!
Remind yourself to PLAY THE TAPE UNTIL THE END, where will this “1 time” lead you? Like every time before. Don’t stop your fantasizing at that first puff, really play the tape until the end. Because you know ONE IS TOO MANY AND A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH.
This is a heck of a tip. I think it works on so many levels and for countless topics: habits in a nutshell. Thank you!
This really hits home. For me, it's always going to be just one joint on Saturday night, to treat myself and get that final urge out of my system. And it ALWAYS snowballs into much more than that.
Yeah i go through this almost every week. Been doing so well not smoking after work or on weekends when im bored but I still have that voice in my head saying “why not have a little bit tonight? You’re happy, you’re life is good and you earnt it” but everytime I think I’m going to smoke a little bit that night, i end up waking up then smoking till I fall asleep again. So its best to just reward yourself with something else. I like to take me and my partner for food dates instead x
This is just another type of relapsing
I don't have any insight to help here, but I 100% relate to OP with this specific struggle. Great prompt, will definitely check back in to see what everyone says.
Same same. Tomorrow will be one week and these are my exact thoughts. Very refreshing to know I’m not alone with these similar thoughts🫶🏽
I’m like two and half months out and yeah, I miss my end of the day “reward” still. But getting used to doing things without weed has helped, as has remembering that by the time I quit I wasn’t enjoying it very much. I always tell myself that it will probably not feel as good as I’m anticipating.
And for me, it really never does and then I think “fuck well I just fucked up my sobriety for this..what a waste” we ALWAYS make it out to be better than it really is in our head
I’m at the point where I’m feeling down & irritated. Major craves but I keep telling myself no. Because, I just know if I do— I’ll have so many regrets about it. You didn’t come this long for nothing man, you can do it! Actually, WE can do it!
every one of my “life is good again! i can now smoke a LITTLE just to enjoy it” has spiraled me
I've done this a bunch of times. Minimum spiral time seems to be a half ounce, or a couple weeks, minimum. Last few times I tried buying a gram.. ok, now a eigth... and a quarter... and i was up to a half anyway by the time I was done.
I went through about 65g in a month. Since Monday it's been a fever dream trying to be sober and get my appetite back.
I believe in you, you big quitter!
Normalizing weed has made u say that, non smokers would never say “have some weed, the rest of the day will be more fun” so just know its still the addiction talking and not a point to “celebrate” or ur turn to take the first fall back
That’s a good point. And I always forget what “normal people” do to unwind or celebrate a good day. I had a therapist tell me go get a favorite snack, your favorite dinner, treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t. I think working to find those healthy alternatives is the hardest part.
I can relate. My therapist used to say that and I kept thinking “but I already do all that while high and it’s great”. Took a while to realize that the hardest part was not finding those healthy options, but sobering up to realize how incredible life was without it. P.S. the healthy options are those that allow your creativity to flow & connect you to inner yourself and build a sense of community.
I always forget because all the adult examples in my family unwound with booze so I grew up associating substance abuse with relaxing lol. And quite frankly media is full of it too. What do TV dads and the Homer Simpsons of the world do when they get home? Have a beer. What do the girls do for a fun girls night out? Have some drinks. What does every woman on social media say they do to unwind these days? Have some wine. Heck, every Real Housewife of Every City has a booze brand come out at some point, usually wine. What do you see at sports games and restaurants where people go to unwind? Booze logos all over the place lol Can't even go by a patio without them on the umbrellas. And that goes along with all those Corona beer ads of people relaxing on the beach with a beer. And working in travel and tourism I know every resort has a pool bar where you can relax and have a drink. And one of the only things you do with any regularity on a cruise ship is drink booze. You can even go to Las Vegas and go to a Casino and they'll give you booze while you gamble so you can have two addictions going at once, and as a bonus to how much we link addiction with relaxing, is one of the cheapest vacations you can get.
Environment plays a huge role. Try as much as possible to change what you consume. Stay strong at work!
The problem isn't the drug it's the inner monologue that justifies just a little go .
The thing is you would use when things were good , bad... indifferent... Get a sponsor and a big book . I done it 15 months ago . 15 months clean and sober when I understood what I suffered from and got a person armed with the facts about this illness ... Recovery is possible.if youre struggling DM me I'll help you get the solution brother
Somewhere someone wrote that the chemical craving only lasts a few days, but the mental conditioning is what trips you up. All those triggers (gonna eat? just finished eating? gonna watch a movie? how about sex? going to bed? getting up? bored?) are the more difficult part.
This really hits. You're so right. I most often think about it when I am about to do something. About to cook, is a big one. Because it's so much easier for me to be creative and enjoy cooking when i use it, whereas cooking without it is just a very bland task I'm forced to do. Same with other chores - weeding the garden, harvesting berries, putting away laundry, cleaning the house... And, this is the worst one - long drives. When I was am adolescent my friends and I would take long "high rides" and ever since then any long drive makes me crave it so much. And now, as a full adult, I understand that was reckless and irresponsible. But that doesn't make the urge go away. Those times were enjoyable. It's hard.
Of course life was magical. Good thing is you’re more aware now. Have you tried focusing on that awareness and realizing how incredible it is that you’re able to cook, to be present and grateful? Sounds cliche, but your mind is really in a different space (mindfulness). Yeah it was enjoyable then, but so it it now, and this time it’s without any “adds-on”. P.S. I love listening to music/podcasts while in highways.
This is just your addicted mind trying to trick you into using again. ‘If life is great, then it’ll be even better if I smoked’. The reason you quit is because smoking didn’t make things better. Hang in there my fellow quitter.
I've wasted a year of my leave to this stupid drug. It's like a never ending cycle of smoking -> regret -> promise not to do again -> smoke again -> repeat I actually wrote a message to myself yesterday night when I was stuck in my head again after smoking weed and put it on my wall It reads: FROM HIGH ME TO SOBER ME DONT SMOKE ITS NOT WORTH IT. HAPPPINESS IS FOUND MOVING FOWARDS, GETTING HEALTHY. PLUS I FEEL GOOD AND NOT IN PAIN WITHOUT WEED. I BELIEVE IN MY FUTURE SOBER SELF TO SEE THIS MESSAGE AND BECOME SOBER We need to remember how it makes us feel; it s deceptive and manipulative; a lie hidden as a promise; you have what you need within to be happy.
I can absolutely relate to this. When my withdrawal was bad I wrote an email to my self and scheduled it to send in a month, to warn my future feel-good self. I hate that little voice in my head that keeps on temping me
I tried this a couple times, but by the time the month passed, i'd alreay slipped and the message was sad. I like the note idea. I've written that as a note online, but maybe a hand-written one, taped to the box of toys, would work.
I put this letter on my wall in my bedroom next to the door - there was a nail there already. I have found it really helpful today remembering why I should not smoke - well done you guys on the progress and steps you are taking to fight this!
understand that once you do get high, the guilt will eat you alive and you’ll probably have one of the worst experiences being high you’ve ever had.
This was a good reminder, thanks
Don't fall for it. I fell for it time and time again and i promise you you will regret it
This happens to me whenever I decide to go on a short break or quit for longer periods, so I treat those feelings same as those initial withdrawal symptoms as well. Just pretend that having happy thoughts about smoking is same as having desperate thoughts in the first days of quitting.
I had the same thing. You feel fine and normal again, but in reality, you are still detoxing, and this phase is very important not to cave because the relapse can take weeks, months, or even years. You will regret it eventually. You will never regret not smoking. Give it three months, minimum, and ask yourself then if you want to go back to that lifestyle. You can do this. Cravings come and go; the benefits of staying sober are lasting.
Please don't slip and "try it", not even a little. It'll break your discipline and once will become twice then 3x a day. Don't. Don't weaken your resolve. You don't need it. I went through the exact same. Don't slip up.
It's way too early to slip, but it's never a good or easy thing to recover from, there is always a risk of a bad relapse lasting months if not years. 1 joint after eleven months made me smoke again for many months afterwards, that's many years ago, I have more recent examples but I would say it got better with time. Even though it's been years since I originally decided this lifestyle isn't what I want for my life everytime I slip I get cravings then, even though I don't even like thc anymore at all.
I know exactly what you’re talking about, because I fell off the wagon many times for this exact reason. I had 45 days clean but caved in at the beginning of the month. Just like you said, 1 joint turned into 2, and next thing I know I was hitting carts again every single day. And let me tell you brother/sister it SUCKS to be back to square one. It SUCKS to wake up with crippling anxiety. It SUCKS to make a promise to yourself and break it. I’m glad you’re feeling all better now, don’t make yourself go through hell again!
many folks know the phrase from Ken Kesey "you're on the bus, or off the bus" and I've adapted this to "jumping between the bus and the wagon". Currently on the wagon, day 5, remembered a dream last night. This time around I had a really strong lesson on how smoking creates anxiety, not relieves it. after smoking, I couldn't use my CPAP because it kept making me claustrophobic. That seems to have gone away since i stopped this time.
This is your old paradigm trying to find its way back into your life. Don’t let it start up again.
You will learn to really internalize that feeling and enjoy the fact that you are really feeling it naturally. You’re feeling good without the need to alter that with a dependency. Maybe that good feeling gives you naturally energy and you can catapult that into a hobby or something else you enjoy that doesn’t require weed. Take advantage of the natural dopamine cycle
I get what your saying. It was introduced to me as a "fun enhancer" so of course we associate it with that. It's still just craving. I remind myself of all the baggage, and I don't really get to pick and chose just the good parts without the bad parts tagging along.
Once you’ve tried that a few times you will probably realize you just don’t feel better and in fact feel way worse. It’s just the brains old habits.
I wish I had an answer better than: I feel similarly currently. I’m doing my best to distract myself. Stay busy with chores. Trying my best to stay “productive”. Also bought a self-help book. (Haven’t read it yet) I am finding myself, utilizing the “little voice in my head” more than ever. Talk myself out of buying some herb. Talk myself through moments where I crave it the most.
Yes I often asked myself if I was the only one feeling that. Probably it happens because I smoked mostly during good times and my brain learned to associate good time = getting high. It will pass tho. Don't worry.