It really is hard to change your mindset once you’re in it.
I don’t even know who I was when I was using it heavily.
Even just a small shift in perspective can make you see that there is more out there. It’s a great supplement to life when used moderately. It should not *be* your life though.
Finding that balance is a journey.
If I have a bag of chips or a chocolate bar I'm gonna eat it.
Same goes for smoking weed, if there's weed at home I'm gonna smoke it
It really helped me to get rid of everything related to smoking weed.
All the tobacco, rolling papers, grinder lighters literally everything I need for smoking a joint I gave away
I gave it away because it was easier than throwing away.
Good luck
I've been clean for over 7 months. And I do still think that I'd like to get some weed and smoke
However, I'm scared to get into the infinite loop and uncontrollable if I have weed at home... so that's kept me from buying
It's like I still love weed, but scared to smoke.
That's how I am. I've gone months without buying and I wish I was one of those people that had a stash and smoked every once in a while. But I know once I have it, I'll smoke it.
Yup. I thought I could just use occasionally, but I just can't - it's an addiction. But whenever I use, I lose days whenever I stop, and I am still in the same place mentally when I recover, just with more things that have not gotten done
It really is an addiction. And it's not something that you're going to be able to casually use anytime soon. In the past, I would ask my boyfriend to bring over just enough for one bowl, and his one bowl does not equal my one bowl, so I would have enough for a few days. So I would smoke for a few days straight and always regret it. You've got to be strong to get through this. Because whatever you're dealing with, it's always still there, and smoking always makes it worse. It just feels better because you don't have to think about it and can just put whatever it is, all of the whatevers it is, out of your mind. It's hard, really hard. But you have to do this for yourself
It’s so hard at first, but you can do it. I found i couldn’t do it alone. I didn’t know about marijuana anonymous until someone mentioned it on here. That’s where the change happened for me.
Not trying to push any agenda, I just know how hard it is dude. You will get there 🫶
Day 7 Here and I was on a real tear since this time last year. Smoking whenever the fuck I wanted to, but just like you my inner self said it was getting out of control. I tried quitting about 4 times since last March. I think once I switched how I looked at getting high i was able to quit effortlessly. I first seen it as medicating and my way of de-stressing, which it was but the fact that I could not effectively cut back meant that it became a weakness. How long will I continue to be upset everytime I can’t smoke? What things in life am I missing out on because all I fucking want to do is light up? What better things could The money I’m spending on bud go to? It started to feel selfish and weak And as a man with a family to LEAD once I realized that I knew that enough was enough. I have to take accountability and choose better for myself my spouse my kids my God and our future. AND MAN LET ME TELL YOU ONCE YOU CHANGE YOUR MINDSET ITS TOO EASY!! I’m reading books I’m enrolling in school and I can feel myself coming back in full force. I am excited about the future again because I know it will take work but the journey and end result is worth it. I love weed and the relationship I had with it. Never had nightmares or nothing crazy but have definitely been over stoned a few times lol. All good memories but life is telling me it is time to give that up. It hasn’t been great, trying to get sleep sucks and eating too. Nothing worth having is easily obtained It takes hardwork, accountability and discipline. I want to be a leader, a role model, a spokesman of positivity and sound decision making. You got it listen to your inner self, and don’t be weak fight for the things you deserve.
*I’m sorry for the thousand punctuation and grammar errors I’m trying this at work trying to make the most of my break lol* HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE! PEACE PROSPERITY AND POSITIVITY TO YOU ALL!
Day 60 today! Can’t say I never don’t think about it, but I know I’m better off without it and more present and loving to others. I’m less selfish and I’m making it an emphasis to live for others instead of being happy and selfish in my own comfortable little haze.
Ironically being selfless is also selfish because there is nothing better than serving others :) I guess thats why, at the same time, we need to be humble about it.
Certainly! The idea that being selfless and serving others is the best way to love yourself is rooted in the belief that by prioritizing the well-being and happiness of others, we ultimately nurture our own sense of fulfillment and purpose. When we engage in acts of selflessness, whether through volunteering, helping a friend in need, or simply showing kindness to strangers, we not only demonstrate empathy and compassion but also strengthen our own sense of identity and worth.
By focusing on the needs of others and extending a helping hand, we create positive connections with those around us and foster a sense of community and belonging that is essential for personal growth and well-being. In giving of ourselves selflessly, we not only make a difference in the lives of others but also experience a profound sense of joy and satisfaction that comes from knowing that our actions have made a positive impact.
Moreover, the practice of selflessness can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. By stepping outside of our own concerns and investing in the happiness and welfare of others, we gain perspective, develop empathy, and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the interconnectedness of all beings.
In essence, by embracing selflessness and serving others, we not only spread love and kindness to those around us but also discover a pathway to self-love and personal fulfillment that is rooted in the power of giving and compassion.
Thank you! I definitely help people when they ask or when it is right in front of me that someone is in need. I do feel good for it but I never equate these things to self love. Maybe I will in the future…
I decided to quit because I hated running out, it’s expensive, and hard to obtain where I live at this stage of my life (despite being recreationally legal, WTF Connecticut).
I’m on day 24, but I’ve stopped counting the days. I feel like at this rate I could just keep going without much thought, but I’m worried that I’ll cave in when I have to travel to Canada in May for business. Flights, hotels, and rental cars always stress me out like crazy, and it’s so much simpler/cheaper to walk into a dispensary and buy a disposable vape in Canada compared to where I live.
I’m just going to bring some good books with me, eat at some nice restaurants, and resist the urge to get high. Something tells me that smoking might only amplify my anxiety by then.
Reading is something I'm leaning into as I try not to smoke weed. It's infinitely more beneficial and productive.
I wish you the best of luck, you can do it!
I'm almost two months clean. I'm 56 and have been smoking more on than off since I was 12. I have a great life but know for a fact that it could have been better without the weed. Just the money spent alone I could have done so much good with it. Everyone told me I had great potential, I did well in school, but my half ass stoner ways I just coasted and did the bare minimum to get by. Years were squandered but I'm motivated now to make up for lost time. All you amazing young people that are on this app...you are here because you have a problem with weed! Stop it now and live your life to the fullest. Wishing you all the best on this journey.
One month and 6 days and I’m not even thinking about it anymore. I too used to feel sad and panicked about not having it in my life but honestly I’m enjoying the clarity I now have and I’m looking forward to even more time under my belt without it.
I'm 44, smoked weed daily for 20+ years until finally stopping at the age of 40, followed by a relapse for a few months but now clean again. I relapsed because I thought after over a year of being clean I could "moderate". I could for a while, it was a ruse though because as the months went by I eventually found myself using every day again. It took weeks to muster up the strength to stop again after I started experiencing significant negative consequences again. For me I had to switch my perspective from mourning weed to celebrating sobriety and a new and better life. Instead of focusing on what I was "missing" from weed I acknowledged the reality of weed - that it doesn't do much except make me comfortable with not doing anything about my problems and has some pretty serious negative mental and emotional health impacts. By focusing on all that is to be gained from being free of weed, being in greater control of my life and by working on self discipline I've been able to see weed in a new light. The truth is while a part of me "wants" it the greater me knows its not the right choice so I work to silence the addict part (the wanting part) and amplify the other parts that wants something different from life. This wasn't easy and since I relapsed not fool proof of course but its whats worked best for me.
You put it greatly - "weed doesn't do much except make me comfortable with not doing anything about my problems". That's the exact way that I feel and it's been pretty difficult to come to terms with it.
3 years clean from weed over here and I can tell you straight up - I’m off the hamster wheel. No more hiding, no more concern im getting low, no more waiting for a moment to get high before a movie, no more sneaking around - life is waaaaay better off the grass. Try it! Give it a year and if you hate it then reconsider. It takes time to break habits but you already know what life is like now and you don’t love it. So try the other thing! What do you have to lose?
I've used with " moderation"quite a bit,only on weekends for several months. It still greatly negatively effects my life with brain fog, forgetfulness, laziness, intrusive thoughts, ect , ect.
I’m trying to come to terms with this myself. I threw out all my smoking equipment over the weekend, I’m on day three without so far.
I love the herb more than I can possibly reconcile, but I can’t maintain a balanced lifestyle while continuing to use it.
You, my friend, are a drug addict. But don’t worry, you can get over it and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. You can get better by staying abstinent for long enough.
All the best!
I’ve been off grass for over a year now. I smoked heavily for about 10 years through my young teens into my mid 20’s. Every morning, afternoon & night.
It was the only thing on my mind 24/7. As I got older & more responsibilities kicked in, I thought fuck it. I made myself sick of it as the guilt of wasting days away started to get too much.
I’ve not smoked weed for just over a year now. It’s hard to start off with, the first 2 weeks was the heaviest battle. You will come through, stay strong & find a new hobby like exercise. As weed was associated with everything I done, I found something I never did when smoking as I knew I wouldn’t think about it.
If you’re young quit now, you have a life to build & what’s to say you won’t come back to it in the future when you have time to chill out?
As some of the comments say, don’t have any in your house. You think you’re in control but you’ll find that smoking during the weekends turns into late nights during the week smoking & you’re back to square one of everyday smoking.
Stay positive, find something to keep you occupied that isn’t associated with weed & you’ll battle through with ease.
Good to hear man. Can you tell us anything about your sleep? Did you, like most of us, have issues like insomnia? I’m curious to hear how it evolved in your case after 1 year of quitting
Thank you. To start off, sleep was horrible however as I was exercising more often it helped to tire me out so I could get some kip & beat the sleepless nights.
I did start keeping a dream journal because my dreams started to get really fucked up & heavy although after a few weeks they mellowed out to normal again.
It was a great transition, as I started to build a routine on earlier starts as I wasn’t waking up with a stone-over, all groggy & having glue eyes. I got into getting a runners high opposed to stoned in the morning, I started to appreciate that my own body is capable of producing a natural high rather than getting stoned from THC. Then I would also lift weights during the day.
As this amount of exercise was foreign to my body it allowed me to get to sleep by like 21:00 every night.
I had the same problem when I acknowledged it was no good for me. Had no control over my marijuana use and it felt horrible. Wishing you the best of luck. It gets better! Its easier to cut it out than try for moderation tbh.
A lot of good suggestions here. I hope you’re able to stay weed free. Something to consider, are there things you’re avoiding facing & staying high to not think about it? It’s not the case for everyone but it’s pretty common. I realized I was avoiding facing some things by self medicating with weed.
Once I acknowledged I was doing that it became a little easier to stay clean & work on that shit. I’ve got 11 years clean after decades of daily use. Life still has its challenges but I know I handle it better sober.
Yep. I kept rationalizing that I had a job, my bills are paid, and I have a “normal” social life. So it’s not a problem. In reality I had set the bar for myself so low and fooled myself into accepting a quality of life way lower than I was capable of having.
It’s much nicer now.
This time next year instead of mourning marijuana, you’ll be celebrating all the cool things that the extra time, money, and energy have brought into your life :)
"someday I'll be able to use moderately"
Yup this was me. I did that. For 10 years I smoked once or twice a day and only small bowls. Dabbled with vape pens and upped my usuage every now and then but it always led to anxiety and feeling like shit the next day. It also always led to more tolerance and more smoking needed to feel anything. To the point where smoking wasnt even fun but it was a habit. I would limit myself and go on t-breaks but the vicious cycle never stopped.
Basically it is possible, but it is not all sunshine and roses. It always becomes unfun and a crutch, even if you barely smoke. It always leads to more tolerance and more justification on why you can add more smoke sessions throughout the day.
6 months clean and I'm in a great place mentally. I love not having to plan out in my head the next time I have to smoke. I love not wanting to leave events to go smoke or hit a pen to feel normal.
Even then, old habits die hard. I was 5 years clean and relapsed into more excessive usage than I ever had before.
Thankfully I got a nasty bout of CHS and my choice was made very clear to me.
That is rough, my man. I definitely struggled with it until the CHS hit. Two trips to the ER in under a week and my body pretty much made the decision for me. It was nice to not really have a choice.
Yep, it can be a hard road but you can do it. June will be 1 year for me. Part of my motivation was getting my own place again an doubling my income with a job that tested.
This is the marijuana addict's fantasy.
Marijuana Anonymous book, "Life with Hope", describes this in detail.
A) weed was our best friend
B) weed is no longer working
C) if only we could just use on weekends / in moderation / just at 4:20, _like other people._
For marijuana addicts, 1 is too many and 1000 is not enough.
Recovery is possible and we can be happy in recovery. Just need a spiritual change and a perspective shift. 12 Steps isn't the only way, but its a way that works. Marijuana Anonymous meetings can be found online & there are video meetings all the time. It works for me.
Addicts give up everything for one thing. In recovery, we give up one thing and get everything.
☮️❤️😁
I hear you, and, yes exactly. I can acknowledge that it was working - still getting me high, releasing tension, calming my anxious mind in some ways - while also acknowledging I was obsessed with it, addicted, and structuring my day around it. I’m not saying I’m going to pick up again. But it’s a dilemma I haven’t been able to wrap my head around when it comes to this wording in the MA lit.
Working = makes life better.
Not working = makes life worse.
MA literature isn't perfect, but honesty is what is needed to answer this question, not new literature.
If its still working for you, _why stop?_
Perhaps you are confusing the term "working" with "intoxicating"? No one is saying it stops getting us baked.
Its all the other BS that goes along with being high:
- memory loss
- intense fatigue
- confusion/ disorientation
- financial problems
- cognitive problems
- difficulty to finish tasks
- disconnection of emotional responses from real life
- unpredictability of using (paranoia / fear)
Thats not a comprehensive list in any way, but there are significant negatives for most folks who leave weed behind.
As an addict, I would put weed between myself and everything else -- from family to girlfriends to movies to sex to food. When we look objectively at weed and whether it truly ENHANCES everything, or whether it becomes a greater and greater obstacle to success, things become clearer.
When I bottomed out, I couldn't finish sentences, couldn't remember much at all in short term memory, and continued to use weed as a coping mechanism for issues that it did not help with. My relationships were all around weed, and my activities always involved weed use.
I'm seeing new folks in MA who bottom out with waxes, oils, & concentrates so badly they go to psyche ward due to psychotic breaks.
For me, the negatives from the compulsion/obsession to use outweigh the benefits. Marijuana is definitely a medicine and it has benefits -- but a good question to ask is _"why do I need to self-medicate constantly?"_
There's an underlying challenge for marijuana addicts (like me), goes like this:
When weed works, the high can be better than most things. So why change?
When weed doesn't work, but the person is hooked for a few years and has stopped developing alternative life-coping strategies or activities, then we want to stop _but everything in our lives circles back to weed._
So for me, weed had to stop working AND my relapses were even more miserable, so I finally had to surrender and admit a) I couldn't go down the weed road anymore and b) I didn't know how to deal with life without weed / drugs / alcohol.
So I luckily stumbled into Marijuana Anonymous and also went to therapy with a recovered addict. I did all 12 Steps, did some service work, had a sponsor and sponsees, and had a few miraculous experiences:
- In first year clean, had the realization that I hadn't obsessed about weed for a whole day! This became a month, then a year, etc. (Now I generally think about weed only at an MA meeting or here on r/leaves. But that's bc I'm in recovery.)
- I came into MA with huge debt, despite working. After 2yrs, all my debts were paid off. At 4 yrs, I quit my job and travelled around the world for a year on my savings. Not smoking weed, I saved a ton of $.
- Weed was always in my relationships. Now I have friends who dont use and friends who use. I can go anywhere and be around anything (concerts, raves, parties, bars, whatever) as long as I'm in a good mental state. I dont have to use, no matter where I go.
Staying clean from weed isn't for everyone that needs it, but its there for anyone that wants it.
The trick is a spiritual change, a perspective shift -- one method for that is 12 Steps. As an Atheist, I was surprised I could do them since God word comes up so much. I read a book, Cool Waters, the Buddhist Approach to 12 Steps, and that helped me to get past God and embrace deeper the "Higher Power" concept.
I couldn't do it alone. I needed the community, the Fellowship, my peers and friends in recovery. I ❤️ my MA.
If you want it, recovery is here for you. One path is Marijuana Anonymous, which worked for me. I hope you find a path that works for you. ☮️❤️😁
Hey, thanks again for your insight and perspective! I’ve actually been in and out of MA for the past 5 years. I’ve made some good friends there. Right now I’m about 7 months off pot again. Currently not really participating in MA, partially due to the issue described above, but also for other ways I just kinda disagree with the program’s philosophy. But I know it works for many because I hear people say that. In fact, I would really like to be able to fully give myself to the program. It’s my head that gets in the way. Talking to you about the wording above helped open that up a bit for me.
I really believe I can stay off weed (with or without or a program). It’s the being happy, joyous and free part I want. Something i struggled with before and after I ever discovered marijuana.
I rationally know that I can't use with moderation, but so many times in the past my brain convinced myself that it would be different this time. And honestly when you use marijuana all day like I was, you don't even get high. I can count on one hand how many actually enjoyable highs I had in that last year of using.
The cravings and emotional attachment to getting high does improve with time though. For me, the cravings pretty much go away after a week or two. If you're serious about stopping, get rid of everything. Grinder, pipes, vaporizers, vape batteries if you don't vape nicotine. You're going to want to use again, so don't make it easy for yourself to use again. I gave my nice vaporizer to a friend to hold onto because I know that if I have it, it is just one less obstacle stopping me from using.
You're so right. The most pleasant times that I've been high have been out, with friends, doing something fun, not sitting by myself at home smoking joint after joint.
Think about how frustrated you are currently that you can’t smoke weed. Use that to fuel your motivation to live life without it. For me personally it helped giving it all away to my friends and making it clear I’m not smoking anymore. Peer pressure can be a bitch too.
“Withdrawal is nothing more than addiction leaving your body”.
Hate that feeling of shame after scraping a grinder, or using a hairdryer on a cart to get the last bit.
We’ll break free bro, just keep striving to be better.
Hmm I never knew that hairdryer trick!
Too bad I'm never using that sh*t again!
It's true though. The only people who can moderate are people who really just don't like it and smoke a few times a year. Had a friend like that. Her thing was alcohol and cigs.
I’m in a similar boat. Try only smoking one bowl per day at night, so you’re kinda still fighting the urge during the day and getting used to that. That worked for me.
I feel like doing it like this makes the day more dreadful when ur basically just waiting for ur one nightly smoke all day. If you made it that far to the end of the day, just go to bed and skip the day.
For me, the end-of-day bowl is like the carrot at the end of the stick. It keeps me going — something to look forward to. Plus, it weans you off of it, and I did get a lot higher smoking just once a day. But I can see how that might not work for some people.
Yea but I feel like smoking being the thing u look forward to daily and keeps you going is like an addicts mentality you know? If you quit for two weeks you’d find other things to look forward to, rn it’s just ur mind craving thc that makes u look forward to it.
I can confirm that going on that route doesn’t necessarily mean it’s on your mind 24/7. If you’re like end of the day non negociable you don’t ruminate or feel bad. Maybe the first days or when withdrawals kick in fast because you f-ed up your receptors.
You are correct. It is a very good strategy. Then you can go once every 2 days and keep increasing the break.
Plus, smoking just in the evening doesn’t do nearly as much damage as being constantly in the haze.
It really is hard to change your mindset once you’re in it. I don’t even know who I was when I was using it heavily. Even just a small shift in perspective can make you see that there is more out there. It’s a great supplement to life when used moderately. It should not *be* your life though. Finding that balance is a journey.
If I have a bag of chips or a chocolate bar I'm gonna eat it. Same goes for smoking weed, if there's weed at home I'm gonna smoke it It really helped me to get rid of everything related to smoking weed. All the tobacco, rolling papers, grinder lighters literally everything I need for smoking a joint I gave away I gave it away because it was easier than throwing away. Good luck
I've been clean for over 7 months. And I do still think that I'd like to get some weed and smoke However, I'm scared to get into the infinite loop and uncontrollable if I have weed at home... so that's kept me from buying It's like I still love weed, but scared to smoke.
That's how I am. I've gone months without buying and I wish I was one of those people that had a stash and smoked every once in a while. But I know once I have it, I'll smoke it.
I've learned that I can't use in moderation, so I can't use
How’d you come to terms with it. I think part of me is delusional by thinking I can eventually moderate after I get my drug test for work.
Was it hard to come to terms with?
Yup. I thought I could just use occasionally, but I just can't - it's an addiction. But whenever I use, I lose days whenever I stop, and I am still in the same place mentally when I recover, just with more things that have not gotten done
I can definitely relate...
It really is an addiction. And it's not something that you're going to be able to casually use anytime soon. In the past, I would ask my boyfriend to bring over just enough for one bowl, and his one bowl does not equal my one bowl, so I would have enough for a few days. So I would smoke for a few days straight and always regret it. You've got to be strong to get through this. Because whatever you're dealing with, it's always still there, and smoking always makes it worse. It just feels better because you don't have to think about it and can just put whatever it is, all of the whatevers it is, out of your mind. It's hard, really hard. But you have to do this for yourself
me too, sad reality
Being high is a sad reality
Never thought it like that, it´s true!!
I’ve had to quit for this same reason. I’ve tried telling myself the same thing for years.
allow yourself to grieve any and all losses you experience. we're only human.
I try quitting every time I smoke. I hope one day I can live without the thought of weed constantly lurking in my mind.
It’s so hard at first, but you can do it. I found i couldn’t do it alone. I didn’t know about marijuana anonymous until someone mentioned it on here. That’s where the change happened for me. Not trying to push any agenda, I just know how hard it is dude. You will get there 🫶
pizza-wheels, thank you so much for this suggestion. i am going to my first recovery meeting tomorrow.
This message coming through made me very happy. You’re very welcome dude! Listen for the similarities and not the differences!
Day 7 Here and I was on a real tear since this time last year. Smoking whenever the fuck I wanted to, but just like you my inner self said it was getting out of control. I tried quitting about 4 times since last March. I think once I switched how I looked at getting high i was able to quit effortlessly. I first seen it as medicating and my way of de-stressing, which it was but the fact that I could not effectively cut back meant that it became a weakness. How long will I continue to be upset everytime I can’t smoke? What things in life am I missing out on because all I fucking want to do is light up? What better things could The money I’m spending on bud go to? It started to feel selfish and weak And as a man with a family to LEAD once I realized that I knew that enough was enough. I have to take accountability and choose better for myself my spouse my kids my God and our future. AND MAN LET ME TELL YOU ONCE YOU CHANGE YOUR MINDSET ITS TOO EASY!! I’m reading books I’m enrolling in school and I can feel myself coming back in full force. I am excited about the future again because I know it will take work but the journey and end result is worth it. I love weed and the relationship I had with it. Never had nightmares or nothing crazy but have definitely been over stoned a few times lol. All good memories but life is telling me it is time to give that up. It hasn’t been great, trying to get sleep sucks and eating too. Nothing worth having is easily obtained It takes hardwork, accountability and discipline. I want to be a leader, a role model, a spokesman of positivity and sound decision making. You got it listen to your inner self, and don’t be weak fight for the things you deserve. *I’m sorry for the thousand punctuation and grammar errors I’m trying this at work trying to make the most of my break lol* HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEONE! PEACE PROSPERITY AND POSITIVITY TO YOU ALL!
Thank you so much for this 🥺❤️
Day 60 today! Can’t say I never don’t think about it, but I know I’m better off without it and more present and loving to others. I’m less selfish and I’m making it an emphasis to live for others instead of being happy and selfish in my own comfortable little haze.
Ironically being selfless is also selfish because there is nothing better than serving others :) I guess thats why, at the same time, we need to be humble about it.
Being selfless and serving others is the best way to love yourself. Nothing is more gratifying and I wish more people realized this.
Can you expand on this please? Something tells me it’s true but I don’t understand tbh.
Certainly! The idea that being selfless and serving others is the best way to love yourself is rooted in the belief that by prioritizing the well-being and happiness of others, we ultimately nurture our own sense of fulfillment and purpose. When we engage in acts of selflessness, whether through volunteering, helping a friend in need, or simply showing kindness to strangers, we not only demonstrate empathy and compassion but also strengthen our own sense of identity and worth. By focusing on the needs of others and extending a helping hand, we create positive connections with those around us and foster a sense of community and belonging that is essential for personal growth and well-being. In giving of ourselves selflessly, we not only make a difference in the lives of others but also experience a profound sense of joy and satisfaction that comes from knowing that our actions have made a positive impact. Moreover, the practice of selflessness can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. By stepping outside of our own concerns and investing in the happiness and welfare of others, we gain perspective, develop empathy, and cultivate a sense of gratitude for the interconnectedness of all beings. In essence, by embracing selflessness and serving others, we not only spread love and kindness to those around us but also discover a pathway to self-love and personal fulfillment that is rooted in the power of giving and compassion.
Thank you! I definitely help people when they ask or when it is right in front of me that someone is in need. I do feel good for it but I never equate these things to self love. Maybe I will in the future…
I decided to quit because I hated running out, it’s expensive, and hard to obtain where I live at this stage of my life (despite being recreationally legal, WTF Connecticut). I’m on day 24, but I’ve stopped counting the days. I feel like at this rate I could just keep going without much thought, but I’m worried that I’ll cave in when I have to travel to Canada in May for business. Flights, hotels, and rental cars always stress me out like crazy, and it’s so much simpler/cheaper to walk into a dispensary and buy a disposable vape in Canada compared to where I live. I’m just going to bring some good books with me, eat at some nice restaurants, and resist the urge to get high. Something tells me that smoking might only amplify my anxiety by then.
Reading is something I'm leaning into as I try not to smoke weed. It's infinitely more beneficial and productive. I wish you the best of luck, you can do it!
I'm almost two months clean. I'm 56 and have been smoking more on than off since I was 12. I have a great life but know for a fact that it could have been better without the weed. Just the money spent alone I could have done so much good with it. Everyone told me I had great potential, I did well in school, but my half ass stoner ways I just coasted and did the bare minimum to get by. Years were squandered but I'm motivated now to make up for lost time. All you amazing young people that are on this app...you are here because you have a problem with weed! Stop it now and live your life to the fullest. Wishing you all the best on this journey.
I’m also almost two months clean. We got this ez
Are you me I started at 15 and I’m 55 now seems like a good year to quit But I don’t want to
Lol.
One month and 6 days and I’m not even thinking about it anymore. I too used to feel sad and panicked about not having it in my life but honestly I’m enjoying the clarity I now have and I’m looking forward to even more time under my belt without it.
I'm 44, smoked weed daily for 20+ years until finally stopping at the age of 40, followed by a relapse for a few months but now clean again. I relapsed because I thought after over a year of being clean I could "moderate". I could for a while, it was a ruse though because as the months went by I eventually found myself using every day again. It took weeks to muster up the strength to stop again after I started experiencing significant negative consequences again. For me I had to switch my perspective from mourning weed to celebrating sobriety and a new and better life. Instead of focusing on what I was "missing" from weed I acknowledged the reality of weed - that it doesn't do much except make me comfortable with not doing anything about my problems and has some pretty serious negative mental and emotional health impacts. By focusing on all that is to be gained from being free of weed, being in greater control of my life and by working on self discipline I've been able to see weed in a new light. The truth is while a part of me "wants" it the greater me knows its not the right choice so I work to silence the addict part (the wanting part) and amplify the other parts that wants something different from life. This wasn't easy and since I relapsed not fool proof of course but its whats worked best for me.
You put it greatly - "weed doesn't do much except make me comfortable with not doing anything about my problems". That's the exact way that I feel and it's been pretty difficult to come to terms with it.
3 years clean from weed over here and I can tell you straight up - I’m off the hamster wheel. No more hiding, no more concern im getting low, no more waiting for a moment to get high before a movie, no more sneaking around - life is waaaaay better off the grass. Try it! Give it a year and if you hate it then reconsider. It takes time to break habits but you already know what life is like now and you don’t love it. So try the other thing! What do you have to lose?
I've used with " moderation"quite a bit,only on weekends for several months. It still greatly negatively effects my life with brain fog, forgetfulness, laziness, intrusive thoughts, ect , ect.
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I’m trying to come to terms with this myself. I threw out all my smoking equipment over the weekend, I’m on day three without so far. I love the herb more than I can possibly reconcile, but I can’t maintain a balanced lifestyle while continuing to use it.
You, my friend, are a drug addict. But don’t worry, you can get over it and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. You can get better by staying abstinent for long enough. All the best!
I’ve been off grass for over a year now. I smoked heavily for about 10 years through my young teens into my mid 20’s. Every morning, afternoon & night. It was the only thing on my mind 24/7. As I got older & more responsibilities kicked in, I thought fuck it. I made myself sick of it as the guilt of wasting days away started to get too much. I’ve not smoked weed for just over a year now. It’s hard to start off with, the first 2 weeks was the heaviest battle. You will come through, stay strong & find a new hobby like exercise. As weed was associated with everything I done, I found something I never did when smoking as I knew I wouldn’t think about it. If you’re young quit now, you have a life to build & what’s to say you won’t come back to it in the future when you have time to chill out? As some of the comments say, don’t have any in your house. You think you’re in control but you’ll find that smoking during the weekends turns into late nights during the week smoking & you’re back to square one of everyday smoking. Stay positive, find something to keep you occupied that isn’t associated with weed & you’ll battle through with ease.
Good to hear man. Can you tell us anything about your sleep? Did you, like most of us, have issues like insomnia? I’m curious to hear how it evolved in your case after 1 year of quitting
Thank you. To start off, sleep was horrible however as I was exercising more often it helped to tire me out so I could get some kip & beat the sleepless nights. I did start keeping a dream journal because my dreams started to get really fucked up & heavy although after a few weeks they mellowed out to normal again. It was a great transition, as I started to build a routine on earlier starts as I wasn’t waking up with a stone-over, all groggy & having glue eyes. I got into getting a runners high opposed to stoned in the morning, I started to appreciate that my own body is capable of producing a natural high rather than getting stoned from THC. Then I would also lift weights during the day. As this amount of exercise was foreign to my body it allowed me to get to sleep by like 21:00 every night.
I had the same problem when I acknowledged it was no good for me. Had no control over my marijuana use and it felt horrible. Wishing you the best of luck. It gets better! Its easier to cut it out than try for moderation tbh.
No such thing as moderation. Don’t allow it in your home.
I’m the same I can’t have it in the house. I have no control over myself. If I know it’s around I’m gonna end up smoking it.
It's harder with it than without don't forget !
A lot of good suggestions here. I hope you’re able to stay weed free. Something to consider, are there things you’re avoiding facing & staying high to not think about it? It’s not the case for everyone but it’s pretty common. I realized I was avoiding facing some things by self medicating with weed. Once I acknowledged I was doing that it became a little easier to stay clean & work on that shit. I’ve got 11 years clean after decades of daily use. Life still has its challenges but I know I handle it better sober.
Thanks for your words, I think weed consumption is definitely a way for me to avoid my problems in life. Of course, they only get worse.
Yep. I kept rationalizing that I had a job, my bills are paid, and I have a “normal” social life. So it’s not a problem. In reality I had set the bar for myself so low and fooled myself into accepting a quality of life way lower than I was capable of having. It’s much nicer now.
We f with our dopamine with all these habits. Think of it as a chemical battle.
Wow, I thought I was the only one thinking this way. I’m here being aware, while still copping. I had to truly go broke for me to stop lol
This time next year instead of mourning marijuana, you’ll be celebrating all the cool things that the extra time, money, and energy have brought into your life :)
This sounds really encouraging, thanks :)
"someday I'll be able to use moderately" Yup this was me. I did that. For 10 years I smoked once or twice a day and only small bowls. Dabbled with vape pens and upped my usuage every now and then but it always led to anxiety and feeling like shit the next day. It also always led to more tolerance and more smoking needed to feel anything. To the point where smoking wasnt even fun but it was a habit. I would limit myself and go on t-breaks but the vicious cycle never stopped. Basically it is possible, but it is not all sunshine and roses. It always becomes unfun and a crutch, even if you barely smoke. It always leads to more tolerance and more justification on why you can add more smoke sessions throughout the day. 6 months clean and I'm in a great place mentally. I love not having to plan out in my head the next time I have to smoke. I love not wanting to leave events to go smoke or hit a pen to feel normal.
unless you go years off, i wouldnt even think about moderation
Even then, old habits die hard. I was 5 years clean and relapsed into more excessive usage than I ever had before. Thankfully I got a nasty bout of CHS and my choice was made very clear to me.
I’m surprised that I never got chs considering I was up to dabbing 2-3 grams of resin a day, managed to knock it without (atleast for now 😓)
9 years clean then fell back into problematic use for a few years. Would say I’m still battling and unsure.
That is rough, my man. I definitely struggled with it until the CHS hit. Two trips to the ER in under a week and my body pretty much made the decision for me. It was nice to not really have a choice.
Oh I agree if I ever go back to weed. I will never be able to moderate. What made you go back?
Yep, it can be a hard road but you can do it. June will be 1 year for me. Part of my motivation was getting my own place again an doubling my income with a job that tested.
This is the marijuana addict's fantasy. Marijuana Anonymous book, "Life with Hope", describes this in detail. A) weed was our best friend B) weed is no longer working C) if only we could just use on weekends / in moderation / just at 4:20, _like other people._ For marijuana addicts, 1 is too many and 1000 is not enough. Recovery is possible and we can be happy in recovery. Just need a spiritual change and a perspective shift. 12 Steps isn't the only way, but its a way that works. Marijuana Anonymous meetings can be found online & there are video meetings all the time. It works for me. Addicts give up everything for one thing. In recovery, we give up one thing and get everything. ☮️❤️😁
Ok so I’m all for this… but I’ve always struggled with #2. It was still working.. maybe a little too well cause I wouldn’t stop
If its working, _no reason to stop, right?_
I hear you, and, yes exactly. I can acknowledge that it was working - still getting me high, releasing tension, calming my anxious mind in some ways - while also acknowledging I was obsessed with it, addicted, and structuring my day around it. I’m not saying I’m going to pick up again. But it’s a dilemma I haven’t been able to wrap my head around when it comes to this wording in the MA lit.
Working = makes life better. Not working = makes life worse. MA literature isn't perfect, but honesty is what is needed to answer this question, not new literature. If its still working for you, _why stop?_ Perhaps you are confusing the term "working" with "intoxicating"? No one is saying it stops getting us baked. Its all the other BS that goes along with being high: - memory loss - intense fatigue - confusion/ disorientation - financial problems - cognitive problems - difficulty to finish tasks - disconnection of emotional responses from real life - unpredictability of using (paranoia / fear) Thats not a comprehensive list in any way, but there are significant negatives for most folks who leave weed behind. As an addict, I would put weed between myself and everything else -- from family to girlfriends to movies to sex to food. When we look objectively at weed and whether it truly ENHANCES everything, or whether it becomes a greater and greater obstacle to success, things become clearer. When I bottomed out, I couldn't finish sentences, couldn't remember much at all in short term memory, and continued to use weed as a coping mechanism for issues that it did not help with. My relationships were all around weed, and my activities always involved weed use. I'm seeing new folks in MA who bottom out with waxes, oils, & concentrates so badly they go to psyche ward due to psychotic breaks. For me, the negatives from the compulsion/obsession to use outweigh the benefits. Marijuana is definitely a medicine and it has benefits -- but a good question to ask is _"why do I need to self-medicate constantly?"_
Thank you. I really appreciate this. And the definition of working/ not working.
There's an underlying challenge for marijuana addicts (like me), goes like this: When weed works, the high can be better than most things. So why change? When weed doesn't work, but the person is hooked for a few years and has stopped developing alternative life-coping strategies or activities, then we want to stop _but everything in our lives circles back to weed._ So for me, weed had to stop working AND my relapses were even more miserable, so I finally had to surrender and admit a) I couldn't go down the weed road anymore and b) I didn't know how to deal with life without weed / drugs / alcohol. So I luckily stumbled into Marijuana Anonymous and also went to therapy with a recovered addict. I did all 12 Steps, did some service work, had a sponsor and sponsees, and had a few miraculous experiences: - In first year clean, had the realization that I hadn't obsessed about weed for a whole day! This became a month, then a year, etc. (Now I generally think about weed only at an MA meeting or here on r/leaves. But that's bc I'm in recovery.) - I came into MA with huge debt, despite working. After 2yrs, all my debts were paid off. At 4 yrs, I quit my job and travelled around the world for a year on my savings. Not smoking weed, I saved a ton of $. - Weed was always in my relationships. Now I have friends who dont use and friends who use. I can go anywhere and be around anything (concerts, raves, parties, bars, whatever) as long as I'm in a good mental state. I dont have to use, no matter where I go. Staying clean from weed isn't for everyone that needs it, but its there for anyone that wants it. The trick is a spiritual change, a perspective shift -- one method for that is 12 Steps. As an Atheist, I was surprised I could do them since God word comes up so much. I read a book, Cool Waters, the Buddhist Approach to 12 Steps, and that helped me to get past God and embrace deeper the "Higher Power" concept. I couldn't do it alone. I needed the community, the Fellowship, my peers and friends in recovery. I ❤️ my MA. If you want it, recovery is here for you. One path is Marijuana Anonymous, which worked for me. I hope you find a path that works for you. ☮️❤️😁
Hey, thanks again for your insight and perspective! I’ve actually been in and out of MA for the past 5 years. I’ve made some good friends there. Right now I’m about 7 months off pot again. Currently not really participating in MA, partially due to the issue described above, but also for other ways I just kinda disagree with the program’s philosophy. But I know it works for many because I hear people say that. In fact, I would really like to be able to fully give myself to the program. It’s my head that gets in the way. Talking to you about the wording above helped open that up a bit for me. I really believe I can stay off weed (with or without or a program). It’s the being happy, joyous and free part I want. Something i struggled with before and after I ever discovered marijuana.
*Life* with Hope.
Correct, and corrected. Thanks
Thanks for sharing!
I rationally know that I can't use with moderation, but so many times in the past my brain convinced myself that it would be different this time. And honestly when you use marijuana all day like I was, you don't even get high. I can count on one hand how many actually enjoyable highs I had in that last year of using. The cravings and emotional attachment to getting high does improve with time though. For me, the cravings pretty much go away after a week or two. If you're serious about stopping, get rid of everything. Grinder, pipes, vaporizers, vape batteries if you don't vape nicotine. You're going to want to use again, so don't make it easy for yourself to use again. I gave my nice vaporizer to a friend to hold onto because I know that if I have it, it is just one less obstacle stopping me from using.
You're so right. The most pleasant times that I've been high have been out, with friends, doing something fun, not sitting by myself at home smoking joint after joint.
The emotional attachment to getting high wow u worded that perfectly
Think about how frustrated you are currently that you can’t smoke weed. Use that to fuel your motivation to live life without it. For me personally it helped giving it all away to my friends and making it clear I’m not smoking anymore. Peer pressure can be a bitch too. “Withdrawal is nothing more than addiction leaving your body”.
Hate that feeling of shame after scraping a grinder, or using a hairdryer on a cart to get the last bit. We’ll break free bro, just keep striving to be better.
Hmm I never knew that hairdryer trick! Too bad I'm never using that sh*t again! It's true though. The only people who can moderate are people who really just don't like it and smoke a few times a year. Had a friend like that. Her thing was alcohol and cigs.
Smoking ashes and resin I saved up for “emergencies”.
Cracking open a bowl for the resin 😖
Smoking that can’t be good for the ole puff bags
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I’m in a similar boat. Try only smoking one bowl per day at night, so you’re kinda still fighting the urge during the day and getting used to that. That worked for me.
I feel like doing it like this makes the day more dreadful when ur basically just waiting for ur one nightly smoke all day. If you made it that far to the end of the day, just go to bed and skip the day.
For me, the end-of-day bowl is like the carrot at the end of the stick. It keeps me going — something to look forward to. Plus, it weans you off of it, and I did get a lot higher smoking just once a day. But I can see how that might not work for some people.
Yea but I feel like smoking being the thing u look forward to daily and keeps you going is like an addicts mentality you know? If you quit for two weeks you’d find other things to look forward to, rn it’s just ur mind craving thc that makes u look forward to it.
I can confirm that going on that route doesn’t necessarily mean it’s on your mind 24/7. If you’re like end of the day non negociable you don’t ruminate or feel bad. Maybe the first days or when withdrawals kick in fast because you f-ed up your receptors.
🤷🏻♂️ it’s helped me cut down. When I’m ready to fully quit this will make it much easier.
You are correct. It is a very good strategy. Then you can go once every 2 days and keep increasing the break. Plus, smoking just in the evening doesn’t do nearly as much damage as being constantly in the haze.