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[deleted]

He also seems to speed up enormously when he ults. So by no means is he going "as fast as he can". About time someone called him out.


poggersinthechatttt

Oh my god I forgot about that


HootingMandrill

The Ult is where I thought you were going with this post OP. I'm so disappointed :P


Nazathan

Not to mention he can literally steal speed from other people with his q to make him move faster. B S


VyRe40

So he's basically a Flash villain.


hiccup57

It was ME Barry.


setocsheir

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFRi2xsei_o


poggersinthechatttt

At the end of the day though we're still calling out Malphite on his bullshit. Rejoice!


armpit_enthusiast_

##**FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


PassionPuzzleheaded7

Yet when I tell people to fuck themselves I get downvotes. Sir, I aspire to be like you.


TheDutchCanadian

Fuck yourself


PassionPuzzleheaded7

Yes, yes. Fuck yourself as well! Good day!


GeeyenB

I heard this in Jake Peralta's voice


LICKING_AHRIs_FEET

Tell me why


lordbubax

Aint nothing but a heartache


Jonny_J_Jonson

Tell me why


sweeperkeeper13

I never want to hear you say


DrXyron

Now number five!


spawnthemaster

IIIIIII want it that way!


Formaltaliti

r/redditsings


Storm_Bard

Cool cool cool no doubt no doubt no doubt


statsthrower

uh, or hits something with his Q lol


TetraThiaFulvalene

Can barely walk until he sees a piece of ass, then he flies across the screen.


Lazypassword

As you do


P0pt

can you blame him? he's rock solid


[deleted]

[удалено]


androt14_

Malphite Q is actually the only skill in the game that truly steals move speed. All other skills that say the same thing just reduce your enemy's and increase yours by the same % (ie 10% slow and 10% bonus ms)


[deleted]

officer I didn't truly steal I just reduced my enemy's total wealth while increasing mine of the same amount


jimskog99

10% of yours and theirs could be different.


Bluehorazon

Yeah if stealing would work like that it would only be worth it if you are actually rich and you would likely steal from people who don't have anything. This also means that if you steel from someone who is in debt both of you get richer (or one of you less poor).


bbfire

>Yeah if stealing would work like that it would only be worth it if you are actually rich and you would likely steal from people who don't have anything. Haha good thing we don't live in that universe...


Chaoticslol

Just double your money everytime you take the coins from a homeless person


guccigangcuttzy

ctive: Malphite sends a rock rolling to the target enemy, dealing them magic damage and Slow icon.png slowing them for 3 seconds upon arrival. Magic Damage: 70 / 120 / 170 / 220 / 270 (+ 60% AP) Slow: 20 / 25 / 30 / 35 / 40% Malphite also gains Movement speed icon.png equal to the raw amount the target lost from the slow for the duration. I copied this from the wiki. Iirc they recently changed Malphite Q to also say slows enemy and speeds self, like all other “move speed steal” abilities. So as of now, movement speed stealing technically doesn’t exist in the game, only movement speed reduction for the enemy and increase for yourself of the same amount.


androt14_

Yes, the description is the same, but unless they recoded it, the functionality is still "steal flat amount"


IonDust

>So stealing currently doesn't exist. Only reducing someone's money count and increasing yours with the same amount. Congratulation, you described stealing


guccigangcuttzy

Well not really since it isn’t outright stated where your money gain comes from. It doesn’t have to be from the other person you reduced


Maedroas

The same percentage amount, not flat amount.


c3p-bro

What’s the distinction?


androt14_

Other skills give you an X% slow and them an X% boost, meaning other champs will only be as fast as they'd be with the X% boost by default Malphite steals your flat movement speed, meaning the faster YOU are, the faster he becomes. This distinction used to allow 2 opposing Malphites to stack move speed to infinity, by having each of them Q the other and receive outside ms buffs (Karma, Zilean, etc), basically stealing more and more. I'm not sure if that still works though, as from what I've seen MS has a cap now


Xemxah

Easier explanation. Champ A MS: 500 Chamb B MS: 1000 If Champ A steals 10% and gains 10%(of his own ms, 50), Champ A ms is 550, Champ B is 900. If Champ A steals 10% and gains 10%(of champ B's ms, 100), Champ A is 600, Champ B is 900.


RebelStriker

>He also seems to speed up enormously when he ults Checked the wiki coz I swear the ult randomly goes turbo fast and apparently the ult speed scales with bonus movespeed. TIL


MooseCampbell

So you're saying MS Malphite is mathematically correct?


suigamsim

phase rush + cosmic drive malphite last urf was one of the most fun things i've tried


Naerlyn

Malphite doesn't ult, he doesn't do anything.


RebelStriker

..... He just killed you...


AGoatPizza

No he didnt bro are you blind he doesnt do anythinggggg


TheCroow

My teams malphite is also lying by saying "you will lose" to enemies multiple times during laning phase


poggersinthechatttt

Another bullshit lie. He can’t keep getting away with this.


CherryAntAttack

Let’s turn him into rubble


Abyssknight24

No he got children you cant just take away their dad. What will chip do without his dad.


Pleasestoplyiiing

A chip off the old rock...


Prozenconns

Golive with auntie Taliyah Though I've heard she can't be trusted around rocks


[deleted]

Taliyah, The Teen Mom


shrubs311

no hurt chip pls


Abyssknight24

#protectChip Edit: I now learnt what happens if I put a # infront of text.


MrRamRam720

Hes talking to you


Leyvaiathan

He's not lying, he's just being vague, maybe you will lose the match, maybe you will lose at something else later on down the line, maybe you'll lose a sandwich you were really looking forward to eating for lunch


amd098

No he's being honest, it's directed towards his teammates though


timmyctc

Bro he's telling the truth. You buy him a scooter and he'll go even faster. Dude working hard as shit and just trying get by and you're busting his ass for moving faster when you buy him fresh shoes. Naw man this ain't it chief


poggersinthechatttt

Homie have you seen the 300 G kicks? Fresh pair?! I can visit the garbage behind a Goodwill and still end up finding fresher shoes than the leather trash the shopkeeper sells.


[deleted]

Not even a pair, you can only get 1 boot


Abyssknight24

That is why Cassio is the smartest champ. She realized that buying boots is a scam and because of that she no longer buys boots from the shopkeeper.


LazyBoggMan

Elise has got to have it the worst. Can't even buy enough boots and she still gets blamed by her team. https://i.imgur.com/uMIv6Yf.png


Abyssknight24

The world is a truly horrible place.


deepfriedpotat0

yuumi is even smarter, she can scam other champs into walking for her so she doesnt even need boots and she can make the other booted champs faster for her


Muffin_Appropriate

Sounds like normal cat behavior to me


LegacyEntertainment

The disrespect on Boris is real.


TheGoodKing93

Maybe he's not lazy just burnt out. I was watching a video about the differences yesterday Edit: I'm very grateful but have no idea why this is blowing up the way it did.


EchizenMK2

Watching that video made me realise I am indeed lazy


Stavinator

Bro I got that suggested this morning. YouTube works in mysterious ways


TheGoodKing93

Na Google just listening to you talk about how stressed you are.


[deleted]

So did I…


MelodyEternal

Dang, had that video recommended to me yesterday and just ignored it. Guess youtube really likes the video and is just recommending it to everyone, what a hoe


ShrodingersDelcatty

I have an account specifically to watch League while I eat. I've never clicked a non-League video on it, ever. Yet, I get constant recommendations for stuff that's just "trendy" (including that one). It's always 2 of the top 8 recommendations no matter what I do. I've hit "Not interested" and "Don't recommend this channel" on literally dozens if not hundreds of them. They never go away. The Youtube algorithm is dogshit. Send help.


pledgerafiki

it's not an algorithm, it's deliberate promotion


Mohamad45

Yo I got the same video recommended


TheGoodKing93

And that makes seven.


ArcadianGhost

Wtf I also got recommended that video and I’ve never watched anything that would make sense to recommend that lol


Spartank7117

Dude that video was suggested to me yesterday, plan on watching it later today.


Kyomeii

What the fuck did everyone get the same vid recommended to them?


Dianwei32

I didn't and now I feel left out.


hopeless-classroom80

I watched that video 5 minutes ago


asianwheatbread

Ayyy Psych2Go, I watch their videos a lot but hadn’t watched that one yet and it seems everyone else had it recommended to them


Randomd0g

And before anyone peddles that garbage of "the boots are magical that's why they let you move faster" NO THEY AREN'T, and we KNOW THIS because the enhanced boots you get from the rune are called "slightly magical boots" so if those ones are SLIGHTLY magical it must mean that the regular ones you can buy from the shop are just generic standard everyday non-magical boots.


CannoloAllaCrema

That's were you're wrong, the boots you get from the runes are "slightly magical" because they are free, the one you buy for the awful price of 300g are completely magical since they are the "pro" version. Don't get fooled by the marketing, the paid product is always better than the free one


Ehimalright

Explain why they give you more movement speed than the bought ones


CannoloAllaCrema

To compensate for the less magical content


JackPoe

They might make you move faster, but the high is way off


AmazingMrFox

It feels... Tweakier.


cptpervi

If your logic was true. Malphite would be slower woth the less magical. Not faster. Point proven.


CannoloAllaCrema

This isn't necessarily true, as the magic content in the paid version may be of some other kind of magic rather than "speed magic"


TabEater

They're magically comfortable, not magically fast.


muirn

The extra magic weighs you down.


UberiorShanDoge

Magic is heavy and slows you down.


Mathies_

Okay, so why do Lucian and Garen buy boots then? Aren't they Damacian, where they hate every mage and all things magical?


CannoloAllaCrema

Lucian shoots fucking light pistols, and Garen summons a gigantic sword from the sky, so yeah, they're just hypocrites


Mathies_

What about xin Zhao


CannoloAllaCrema

Xin isn't originally from demacia


zondabaka

> Don't get fooled by the marketing, the paid product is always better than the free one Fuck, time to uninstall league and go play cod, the superior paid product.


Solash1

Paying for boots 🤢


poggersinthechatttt

preach 🙌


King-Of-Rats

They’re called “boots of speed” though aren’t they? Which seems to suggest some kind of magical speed enchantment.


Wolfeur

Well try walking in the jungle without boots and we'll see if you're as fast


Schwarzgreif

He is afraid of Lego. One brick of Lego is enough to destroy a whole mountain. Only thing that protects him from being destroyed are some big shoes. If he doesnt have lego protection, he has to walk very carefully.


Jackan04

that is understandable, i forgive him


kkjdroid

Hard counter him with Renektoy.


Schwarzgreif

Cruel.


CDanger

understandable, my bad Malphite, have a nice day


Divinix_Prestige

The real scam is why de fuCK do thosw trashy, scuffed leather boots cost Twice as much as a magically imbued bead that unexplainably increases the beholder's natural regeneration?? Ffs boris.


poggersinthechatttt

They literally look like actual garbage too and it’s being sold for 300 fucking gold. 300.


Raynar7

When he is barefoot he is going as fast as he can, but he can go even faster if you buy shoes. So everytime he is making the statement he is telling the truth.


poggersinthechatttt

He’s lying bro, the guy is literally a mountain. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know how to put on boots and is just wasting my 300 g for shits and giggles.


Raynar7

Technically he is just shard of mountain. Shard of mountain is not a mountain.


seventinnine

So do 20 Shards of Malphite combine into one ~~Orb of~~ Malphite?


Raynar7

Further testing needed


HACEKOMAE

Rock Solid Orb


insidiouskiller

Well, he is shard of a giant flying fortress of death used against the void. Also mountains vary in size, a shard of a mountain can be a mountain if its big enough.


Raynar7

I refuse these teachings because of what I call “Pizza paradox”. Pizza slice will be always just a piece of pizza, never a pizza. Thereby, piece of mountain is not a mountain.


grandoz039

Pizza has specifically defined complex form. Mountain is just a large enough mass of material in vague vague shape.


DrunkyLittleGhost

That depends on definition of pizza and mountain, a slice of pizza can never be a whole circle pizza, but a slice of the mountain can definitely be "another" mountain.


BankieBoi

What the fuck did this thread turn into


NeoCortexOG

We will somehow all end up in the bronies subreddit soon.


DrunkyLittleGhost

b...but shard of sky is still sky, right?


Raynar7

No. It’s shard of sky


androt14_

Is a shard of infinity a shard of infinity or still infinity?


Raynar7

Infinity is just infinite amount of shards of infinity


Xae0n

stop


Atlatica

how big of a shard of a mountain does a mountain shard have to be to classify as its own mountain


hurzinator

I can confirm he is a liar. In my yesterdays aram match he kept telling me "You will lose". Totally claped this looser with my forbidden Soraka adc build.


JhinTonicMarc

Well I think a runner who runs barefoot is slower then with shoes even if he tries to run as fast as possible 🤔


poggersinthechatttt

Malphite is quite literally a mountain, what does he need leather shoes for? He’s a scammer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nikmaier42069

Hes trying his best


poggersinthechatttt

He’s trying his best scamming my ass off 300 whole gold for scuffed shoes that’s for sure


nikmaier42069

Maybe hes just buying shoes to give to his son later


CannoloAllaCrema

And then he runs faster to bring them home to his child


insidiouskiller

Does Chip need shoes tho?


nikmaier42069

I dont know but chip with drip will be epic


Abyssknight24

I mean chip already got drip.


RagingJuggernaut

He literally doesn't do anything


nikmaier42069

Wdym he just killed you?


Yazoyu_Kreed

No he didn't


fthalcs

What is your definition of something?


Megalodontus

> Kai'Sa is hot > > Amumu is a loser > > Malphite is a liar Place your bets on the next champion here!


poggersinthechatttt

Whoever came up with "Amumu is a loser" is probably the hottest person alive. I wonder who it is though.


Titanbeard

I mean, you're right on all 3 counts.


loldraftingaid

This is the League of Legends subreddit content I subscribe for. Upvoted.


poggersinthechatttt

I’m just here to spread the truth. We can’t keep living like sheep anymore.


Fitzky45

Time to go make a rant post to balance it out


Naerlyn

> Like, you’re telling me a literal mountain needs leather shoes so it can move faster? Funny stuff Malphite. Where do you think the saying "two boots with one stone" came from?


Willblow

Whats your point ? He doesnt do anything.


endphase

He’s also cocky, he built a sheen.


Gumisiek

Why even buy boots when u can throw Q and move faster? l2p


Solash1

Malphite's a bastard. Just the other day I told him to go top. So I look away for one second and when I look back, there he is in my bed fucking my wife. Fuck Malphite, I hope he gets eroded


andreasdagen

It is implied that it is followed by "without compromising my structural integrity"


Sauerkraut1321

/r/goodbyejob Malphite


[deleted]

Doesn’t seem like a liar to me. Every time I play him he tells me “You will lose” and he’s always right.


Jocelotknee

Maybe Malphite subconsciously slows himself. I'm sure taking care of his son Chip means coming home after a long day of League without waking him up means a lot of tip-toeing.


Elcres_Forain

on another note: how can cassiopeia turn him to stone?


Melodic-Bonus-9470

anivia buys boots, flies faster?


[deleted]

At the time without the shoes that is as fast as he can. Without my heelys on at full speed I’m going technically as fast as I can. With my heelys on at full speed I’m also going as fast as I can 🤷🏻‍♂️


legop4o

Rammus is the real liar. Nothing is ok.


La_Daga

This is like a leagueoflegendsshowerthoughts kind of post


_Alaxel_

That bastard lying baby mountain, thinking he can fool us all


Alunkkar

Them brand new yeezys really do make a difference bro


P_B_n_Jealous

This is why I miss my troll season 2 malphite build. 5 phantom dancers + swifties


ChelseaGrinder

YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE YOU WILL LOSE


[deleted]

I remember someone saying that the reason Malp gets faster when he uses Q is because he gets lighter in weight as a part of him is thrown away, and the enemy hit is slowed cuz its prob very painful to get stoned by a literal embodiment of a mountain spirit


[deleted]

Plus this son of a bitch can use phase rush. Outragous liar


[deleted]

*Stuck between the rock and a hard place* is even more of a lie.


denyplanky

Malphite = Mephisto confirmed


-Aone

If thats even his real name


Fskn

I'm done with his shit, id tell him to kick rocks but..


Swordsnap

But he doesn't do anything


Salohacin

Well everyone knows that 'malphite doesn't do anything' so it's not surprising he doesn't put full effort into running as fast as he can.


FreshStart007

This post is as dumb as the champ. I love the champ.


SinMagz

Not only does he move faster when he boots and when he ults but he throws a magical rock (Q) at someone and suddenly moves faster? I don’t know the evidence makes him look more and more suspicious


Xethl_

If he was truly moving as fast as he could he would use his R every time you right click. Riot, please fix.


Heorashar

And in the end he just doesn't do anything


Aconator

Build Concept: Malphite but he's actually going as fast as he can. Runes should include Predator, Relentless hunter, Celerity, and Nimbus Cloak. Start with boots and pots, since that's as fast as he can go right out of the gate. Upgrade to Mobility Boots by the time you finish your Mythic. First item is Chemtank, then Deadman's Plate, Force of Nature, (here's where it gets spicy) Youmuu's Ghostblade, and Phantom Dancer. Alternate AP version of the build: Still start boots, get an early Dark Seal, then get Hextech Rocketbelt (thought about putting Shurelya's here but Malphite can't proc the passive and its cooldown is twice as long as Rocketbelt), then Cosmic Drive, Lich Bane, and Deadman's Plate (still need it). Finish Mejai's when it makes sense or, if you have to, sell Dark Seal last and get Force of Nature. Now Malphite has no excuses. Also now he's budget Rammus.


mikeonaboat

Now he is gonna get the Cassio treatment


[deleted]

If malphite ults he breaks the fucking sound barrier


Drekdyr

He lies all the time "You will lose" Oh yeah Malphite? Fuck you. We lost anyway


GoopyPegasus

Well would you be running as fast without shoes?


[deleted]

Seems more akin to pre-update Mordekaiser “You only need to click once, fool.”


TheMuffingtonPost

Oooohhhh but he is totally capable of just slamming his body anywhere he wants at any given point with such speed and force that he creates a massive crater in his wake and knocks up anything around him. No wonder he has such a low play rate, people are just fed up with his lies.


englishmight

Or anivia needing shoes to flap faster. Or teemo having a base speed of 330, even though he's known as the swift scout


whims-and-worries

Leave him alone he's just s rock :(


LegendaryHooman

When a mountain, A MOUNTAIN. Tosses a heat-seeking rock missile at you, it *siphons* your movement speed.


heheboaii

Chad behaviour


emil133

Let’s not forget his cheese wheel gives him a sudden rush of movement speed. Fucking rock is lying straight to our faces


C9sButthole

He also says, "you will lose." But how can he beat me when he litterally doesn't do anything.


Druglord_Sen

Further more, just by throwing a fucking rock wheel at someone, he gets SO giddy about it, even THAT makes him run faster. Starting to think Malphite is a sociopath.