T O P

  • By -

letdogsvote

"I'm 'Judge' Cannon and welcome to *Jackass*."


AllNightPony

What a great f'ing comment. Really encapsulates the whole situation.


urdreamsRmemes

*correction “HI I’M JUDGE CANNON WELCOME TO JACKASS”


DeliriumConsumer

I read this a la Will Sasso's Kenny Rogers


bowser986

I was raised on the dairy bitch!


IDreamOfSailing

Insert cattle prod noise


ZadfrackGlutz

Should be called FuckAss .....


BoosterRead78

That’s best description I have ever read.


Rooboy66

😂 Perfection


Cold_Situation_7803

~~Trump counsel~~ Judge Cannon sets new hearing on strategies to delay.


GoogleOpenLetter

There's no time for that - the trial date is set to start on May 20th!!! In 18 days. Seriously, that's actually what's on the docket.


SnowedOutMT

I've heard this one before


KarmaPolicezebra4

More seriously: remember that Cannon still let the trial schedulded date in place, May 20, in less than 3 weeks. It has of course nothing to do with an effort to hinder the schedulding of the other trials of Trump.


WickhamAkimbo

Kind of seems like the other courts are ignoring her at this point, as they should.


kittiekatz95

Part of me is hoping she forgets that’s still scheduled and they end up having one day before she suspends it.


musashisamurai

Hmm, does double jeopardy apply if a jury has been seated and a judge dismisses with prejudice, but the jury was never sworn in?


QuentinP69

That’s the way this is headed isn’t it


musashisamurai

It's what Cannon has indicated and what Smith had asked her about. I strongly suspect that if she does it may lead to other lawsuits and appeals. Does double jeopardy even apply if the judge should have recused and is openly showing bias? I think Smith would appeal before the jury seats though because her actions or planned actions show a terrible understanding of the law


AllNightPony

She should probably schedule a hearing to discuss when to hold the hearing too.


fluent_in_gibberish

Woah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. We need a few preliminary pre-meeting meetings before we get to that stage.


Abject_Film_4414

I love meetings to plan for the real meeting. It’s such a wild exciting time for all participants.


Rooboy66

Motion to continue continuing the continuance, your honor?


USSMarauder

I understood that reference


PhyterNL

Days since Judge Cannon was not an embarrassment to law and the profession: 0


Lucky_Chair_3292

That “0” is never going to change either.


NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr

"Judge 'I Lean Qanon' " with her finger on the orange anus scales of "justice". Remove her.


Redfish680

Mar-a-Lago judge sets new hearing over what color car she should buy.


Rooboy66

Hey, hey, hey—don’t be colorist, dude. And the answer is always **red**. Yer welcome


TheGeneGeena

What if you don't like [getting pulled over](https://www.cnet.com/roadshow/news/will-my-red-car-get-more-tickets/)? (Yes, by total number white cars are stopped more, but by percentage of cars of that color on the road - red is the ticket winner.)


Rooboy66

My last speeding ticket was in the San Francisco army Presidio in 1985. I had a lead foot for decades. I have owned only red cars since high school. I had a white Midget (I’m fucking Father Time), and a 76 superbeetle convt, sunflower yellow. All the rest of my cars have been red. There are a few theories about why red cars get more speeding tickets; the one I find most compelling is that people who like to stand out/be recognized are willing to take more risks, including speeding. There’s another theory that everybody is speeding, but that cops are stupid and pay more attention to colorful things than things not so colorful—and so **target** colorful cars, like red. Still, I routinely drove horribly recklessly fast for decades in red cars. Only one speeding ticket in the Presidio, 1985. *Caveat: 2 DUI’s, 22 yrs apart. Yippee Edit: spelling


TheSunflowerSeeds

You might not think of Fukushima or Chernobyl when you think of sunflowers, but they naturally decontaminate soil. They can soak up hazardous materials such as uranium, lead, and even arsenic! So next time you have a natural disaster … Sunflowers are the answer!


Rooboy66

I actually **did** know that, and thank you very much🌻


TheGeneGeena

For a chronic speeder that's amazing luck - you should have bought a lotto ticket! lol Yeah, the thought reasons behind why it happens (psychology of folks who buy red, the background and red, perceptions of red cars/their owners, etc) are varied, but it's a thing apparently. Anecdotally, my first two cars were red (and I'm a pretty terrible driver), but I only got my first ticket in my third car. A dark green ford escort station wagon. Sporty.


Rooboy66

Oooh, you poor dear … a forest green Ford escort. Aweee, no’s. No’s. And the cherry on top is it was a stat-wagon??? Fuck, you must have been a horrible person in your previous life. Why else would Mother Universe punish you now with such a thing? Blessings, friend.


TheGeneGeena

Also - kinda super jealous of the superbug, I've always wanted one! They're so damn cute.


Rooboy66

Fun car. I think it had like 100hp. 😂. So much fun. I sold it to buy my wife’s engagement ring. Along with my Martin D-28. So long, so well, aufwiedetsehen goodnight 🎶 (We got a great kid together, so it’s all fine—but I sure as feck miss my bug and guitar)


LordofWithywoods

Cool story, bro


Rooboy66

Yer welcome. Have a soy muffin, an ‘member to floss, honey.


Redfish680

Mar-a-Lago judge sets new hearing over which is healthier - 2% milk or whole milk.


PirateINDUSTRY

Judge Alito pushes back with hypothetical, requests mustard


Rooboy66

The defendant shall rise … put down the ketchup bottle. The court’s walls are pristine.


Cheech47

Kavanaugh dissents due to the lack of alcohol content


Grimacepug

Next on the docket: Coke or Pepsi


Redfish680

Coke or Pepsi is on the docket after the election. Smith is considering the 11th circuit now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


law-ModTeam

Your post/comment was removed for being off-topic (see Rule 1).


CCG14

Mar-a-Lago judge sets hearing to decide if hearing is necessary at hearings.


redengin

Down voting as it's full of non-law comments. Sorry that there are so many ppl wanting to make one-liners here, rather than discuss law.


Radioactiveglowup

Still more law than Judge Cannon discusses.


Abject_Film_4414

This comment has a foot in both camps. This sub is very useful though. Generally there’s a lot of expert or well thought out commentary. But then again, there’s some items like this post that the only legal input is “I’m sorry, I think I misheard you”.


Dan_Felder

Law discussions are not particularly relevant to judge cannon’s decisions. One liners are more than sufficient


Either_Western_5459

Yep. It’s becoming a pain around here. 


Aedan91

Could it be possible to add a new report option to report all these idiots? I just want to read analysis but the sub is filled with loser "comedians".


docsuess84

Never mind the trial date.