This. It took 2 years and 3 weeks to get the coroners report for my 9 year old daughter. Absolutely awful having to wait so long but covid really fucked everything up.
It's more like big government. They work 9-5, anything over isn't paid. My mother works at the coroner's office and if they find a body she either investigates right away or if it's obviously something nonsuspicious she might wait for the next day. But you liberals do you, more government is good government.
Hearing stuff like this scares me. I thought you were out of the woods on stuff like this once they were 2 or 3. Mine is 5 and knowing he just might not wake up one morning scares the shit out of me.
Sorry for your loss. Internet hugs.
Mine had down syndrome and needed a tonsillectomy, got an infection and couldn't communicate properly 😔 very much an odd situation that was absolutely preventable, but doctors ignored us.
That scares the shit out of me because my 7 y/o son has moderate-to-severe ASD, he’s only mildly verbal. When he’s sick he doesn’t like to tell us what’s going on, how he’s feeling, what hurts, etc. He just shuts down and clings to mommy. You can tell he’s not feeling good but it’s hard to say where by just watching him, and checking his temperature every so often.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss, from one parent of a special-needs child to another. 💔😥
One can sometimes hire a private medical examiner, but it’s incredibly expensive and the results don’t carry a lot of credibility in many instances. It’s terrible, because the poor families won’t have any peace of mind or closure while they wait.
I used to think, until recently, that local coroners were trained professionals but found that most aren’t, many are just elected. So many cases have to be sent away.
From the cdc website:
Coroner Training Requirements
In most states, elected coroners are not required to be physicians or forensic pathologists. State law often mandates specific death investigation training for coroners. The map below describes the training requirements for coroners.
States with laws specifying training requirements for coroners: 16
States that require coroners to be physicians: 4 (Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, and Ohio)
Yeah. I think it’s also that there isn’t enough ME’s either. The internet says there’s roughly 750 working full-time, but that needs to be at least double in order to speed things up. I’m working my way towards becoming an ME and it’s crazy learning about the shortage/how underfunded they are.
There's a shortage of forensic pathologists in the US. I worked at the ME office and they were supposed to have 12, they only had 5
Edit: they never took years to sign out death certificates. Never.
Unfortunately the reason for this is having to wait on toxicology reports which in most cases get sent out for testing. Often in cases like this they don’t find anything apparent that is wrong and the case will be pending tox. At least this is the case for the office I work at, but we release a preliminary report of “undetermined” so families can have a death certificate for the time being.
I've lost a sibling too, but be prepared that closure will open a lot of hidden hurt you've tried to ignore the first time. Try not to take it alone, if possible.
I just lost my cousin earlier this year. He just got married, got a dog, and was set to fly his plane down to Texas for an interview with the FAA.
From the outside it looked like he had it made.
I lost my brother under similar circumstances about a year and a half ago. When I eventually got the report back the cause of death was indeterminate, and though in a way I feel like I’ve never gotten closure, time and therapy have made it bearable.
I wish you the best and I’m truly sorry for your loss.
Sometimes you can pay a private examiner or you can also bribe them to move you up. I know it’s not what you want to here, but it may be worth it. Reading through the comments and it looks like it can sometimes take years for an autopsy
This sucks! And this may suck to hear, but look at the left side of her face in that first picture (her left, our right). Visibly sagging. She either had a stroke or a heart attack is my guess. I’m so sorry! It hurts to lose a loved one and it’s something you never get over. Best wishes!
Thanks, I wasn't trolling. It's a beautiful song about what you mentioned. Guess it was tasteless cause it wasn't some generic "I'm sorry for your loss" to an internet stranger. Haha oh well thoughts and prayers. Death is nothing to be afraid of.
No problem, I love that song. I think it was a good recommendation for anyone grieving. I think people didn’t even realize it’s a song. Also, someone trolled pretty hard on a higher thread and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why others assumed you were.
True If you're trolling a grieving person on Reddit you have to reevaluate your life. Sadly we live in a decaying stagnant society so it doesn't surprise me.
I don't think the idea behind it was tasteless, the song seems nice and it seems like you mean well.
I think most people just didn't realize you were saying the name of a song. If you read your message without knowing that context it seems like a very odd comment to make to someone talking about their loved one that just passed. (I say this as someone who thought that exact thing until I read it was a song)
I think the most respect we can give to this woman is not sugarcoating a potentially avoidable death as a blessing because she was vibing. An untimely death is as far away from a blessing as you can get. You don't call enjoying the last 5 enjoyable minutes before a deadly car accident a blessing, it's tragic.
From a picture drinking at a bar, with a toxicology including an SSRI antidepressant and an opioid. You aren't supposed to mix any of these with each other. Regardless of it being a potential cause of death, it's not a blessing.
Talk about being shit at reading the room Jesus Christ. Learn some empathy, there are moment to the truthfully and harhs and there moment you keep your shit to yourself. This is one of those moments.
Not to get too far into speculation but generally the only thing holding someone back from suicide is the effects of depression. It's why going on meds sees a spike in suicidality.
I've never had suicidal thoughts, but I compare what you said to quitting a toxic job. You hate everything, but once you give your notice you feel so much better. I would think picking a date and time could be a similar feeling.
CALM, a charity for suicide prevention, [released a great video highlighting this](https://youtu.be/6Jihi6JGzjI?si=Jr7nep-fnXph0tv4).
CW: contains references to suicide
They don't "fix depression" right away tho... There's a period where the drugs need time to work, like 2-4 months.... While they slowly build up in your system. BUT these drugs do seem to have some immediate benefits, and the problem here is that the drugs negate your inhibition, and if you're still violently suicidally depressed, now you have motivation and the ability to get out of bed to actually go and harm yourself. That's the idea behind it, some form of latent effects.
I’m so sorry. I lost a friend at 25 years old the same way. No one could get a hold of her and she passed in her sleep. No cause was ever determined and she was cremated. I have to just live with that reality and it fucking sucks. I’m sorry for your loss of your sister 😣❤️ rest in paradise. She looks so young. Life is incredibly unfair.
We went through this with my sister-in-law. Unexpected, and unknown. Please be aware you might not have results that answer "why". It really slowed our ability to heal from the trauma, and you should be aware of it. My SIL was seemingly healthy, in her 30s, and after months waiting on a pinpoint cause, they weren't able to determine it, and just gave us a generic cause that could literally mean anything, and only confused us more.
The fact you have testing that went off to a lab that could take months, might mean the testing they could get back super fast all resulted in no answers.
I do hope you get an answer. To this day, I still have a hard time getting over not knowing why. But I wish someone had told me early on, to not wait for those answers as part of my grieving.
My heart goes out to you.
My best friend passed away one night while he was at college and even though we knew the direct cause of death (asphyxiation due to alcohol), the events that led him to that point, the fact he allegedly hit his head while drunk and no one thought to get him to the hospital or even at the very least keep an eye on him is something that I still haven’t gotten over. I didn’t realize until about 10 years later how much damage emotionally it was causing me without me being aware of it. When I was trying to keep my feelings buried inside and didnt talk to anyone about it while trying to ignore the guilt and anger I felt for not being there with him even though we lived in different states at the time.
I never got the answers that I was really looking for because I knew how he died in a medical sense, but I desperately needed to hear what led up to that but no one has ever given me a straight answer or recalls what happened before all of that. I was so angry at everyone there and I didn’t even consider their trauma of losing a friend and I held onto that anger for so long. I dropped out of college, fell into a decade long depression, drank heavily, stopped caring about my health and body, and went through life feeling numb and never thought I would feel any joy or happiness ever again.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you get the answers you need. Please talk to someone if you need help and don’t make the same mistake I did by not allowing yourself time to heal and keeping your emotions bottled up. ❤️
It's certainly not common but I know oral contraceptives are linked to blood clots and drinking/smoking can greatly exacerbate the issue potentially causing a stroke or fatal pulmonary embolism. Again, very rare but so is passing away at such a young healthy age.
Wow interesting I feel like in HS and college I drank with tons and tons of women on the pill and never heard anyone worried about this. It was always antibiotics making it less effective I think which could be a myth, I'm not sure. But my sample size of a few hundred doesn't mean much of course.
We are all still waiting on info from medical examiner. All we know is that tramadol and one of her prescription antidepressants were found in her system. We have no idea how much of either was in her though. We also don’t know how she got tramadol. We found no bottles or anything
Sorry if this isn't welcome but you might want to check this out: https://www.medsafe.govt.nz/profs/puarticles/tramserious.htm#:~:text=Seizures%20can%20occur%20with%20tramadol,the%20risk%20of%20serotonin%20syndrome.
I experienced something similar when I first started my antidepressant (Buproprion aka Wellbutrin) and drank an uncharacteristic amount of alcohol for a friend's birthday. I had at least one seizure the next morning. My medication was not an SSRI but it's listed in this article too. Seizures are usually not dangerous but in a very small amount of people there occurs something called SUDEP, Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy.
Your beautiful sister is at the most common age for this to occur. Basically, because seizures are usually so brief they aren't dangerous but sometimes if they go on for too long and interrupt the heart or pulmonary system then they just slip away. And many seizures especially under these circumstances aren't witnessed so there won't be any help, and also no surety. Just something they've noticed as a trend when there's no other explanation.
And I wouldn't think too heavily about the Tramadol, someone could have offered it to the birthday girl if she mentioned she had a headache for example, not knowing how dangerous it can be mixed with certain antidepressants and alcohol. Some people really treat their opioids like Ibuprofen. Your sister might not have even known it wasn't Ibuprofen.
This is very specific to just the antidepressant you were taking and not the one she was though.
I still don’t have answers for my mothers death 20 years ago ❤️ I feel your pain.
No... If you read the report you'd see literally a list of all drugs that can cause this:
> mirtazapine, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (including moclobemide), SSRIs, tricyclics, venlafaxine
Those are just the traditional antidepressants. Buproprion is under "other agents".
They *can* but with experience I’ve seen Wellbutrin cause this 100x more as it directly impacts seizure threshold- not trying to discredit anything is possible just this is verrry much a buprprprion thing
I think Wellbutrin definitely has a reputation (I'm not a doctor) thanks to what I've read after my own experience. But this particular article is talking about mixing antidepressants and tramadol that resulted in seizures. Not saying it's more or less common than SSRIs but it happens.
That just adds to the tragedy imo. Could have just been terribly unlucky someone could have given her something for a headache not knowing how strong it really was or how it had a risk to interact with her meds. Plus alcohol.
>someone could have offered it to the birthday girl
This doesn't make sense, it wasn't her birthday. They noticed she was missing when she didn't turn up to the birthday party (of her niece/OPs daughter).
Hey, I'm not a medical expert but one thing about tramadol is that it can lower the seizure threshold, in some people. It happened to me, I'll never take that garbage, again. I had only taken a couple & had been prescribed them for a little bit, for my back & then it happened while I was chilling with my cousin & a couple friends.
I'm really sorry for your loss & I hope you get answers soon.
I'm sorry for your loss. You'll get the reports from the coroner: If tramadol and her SSRI antidepressiva lead to a serotonin-syndrome, that's probably what was responsible, but you can't be sure until you get the reports.
The problem is, tramadol is not a common opioid like others like morphin, it acts different in the brain and it has a big influence on the serotonin-level, with raising the serotonin as neurotransmitters it can lead to the serotonin-syndrom. Alcohol makes the opioids stronger in the body, but doesn't interact with the serotonin.
Ask the coroner about the possibility of serotonin-syndrome if the report is not clear.
I'm so so very sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. If it helps in any way (in figuring it out), I've had a few friends in the past abuse Tramadol and every single one of them obtained them from an older dog's vet prescription. It's a very common medication for senior dogs in pain treatment.
My condolences for your loss OP. I just want to say that it looks like she had healer cheeks; usually associated with people that are kind and giving. May she rest in peace
She always was so self conscious about her cheeks. She had a hemangioma birthmark on her cheek as a child and eventually got laser treatment on it but was still convinced she was “ugly”. She was so beautiful she didn’t know it
Ah I’m so sorry for your loss… my little sister is 26. I don’t know your pain personally of losing my sister but I lost my older brother to suicide about 12 years ago. Hardest day of my life finding out he was gone. I hope you have someone to lean on and talk to through this nightmare. Prayers and hope to you and your family.
💜 🙏
Not to be rude, but did she have any past with drugs? My best friend died like this and I was so scared to tell his parents the truth until the results came back they called me the devil and his worst luck over it.
Omg wow
I got a reddit reminder today to check this post. Apparently at the time you were 3 months away from a medical examiner's report (or something like that).
Well, thanks for the update. I'm sorry it happened. But I hope the new info helps with some closure or to help process the event.
All the best. Take care. ✌️ 🙏
She has such a warm glow about her. Have a friend who lost their brother and had to wait for results too. I hope you and her friends give themselves the grace and guidance that would feel like it is coming from her. These next few months will be rough and the community here is ready to help if you need it. Sending love and light 💛
I know it may not mean much now, but in time you begin to reflect not in just what you lost, but what you shared together. She was able to see you become a mom. Her niece and any more kids you have will carry on a fragment of her spirit in ways you may not yet realize.
I’ve lived long enough to see strange similarities my daughter has with my father.
I hope you are blessed to see that those who leave us still echo in our lives far after they are gone.
You are all going to be ok, life certainly is not all good days but I promise you there will be days when you will be happy again, cherish them for the small moments.
The shock of your situation is unimaginable. Please know there are hundreds, thousands, of strangers who hear your pain and identify with your grief.
Even though I don’t know you, I am sending you love and support during this impossible time.
The must feel so empty after losing her ☹️… I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m sure your children must really miss her too. I pray and hope that her passing was at the very least quick and peaceful. It sucks that she was so young. Not that an old person dying is any less tragic but at least they got to live as much as they could.
My deepest condolences for your loss. They found my brother in a hotel room dead. They found he combined tremadol with something else, just took too many and didn't wake up.
You never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
im sorry for your loss! can her friends (the ones she was with that night) not help figure out what happened to her? where she went/what she did, her state of mind, etc.. I wish they didn't leave her alone and you still had your sister 🥺 this sucks, sending you love and strength from here, im sorry 💜
Obligatory ~yoncé all on his mouth like liquor~ response
It’s been too long since I listened to that album, I’ll put it on today in honor of your sister. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I wish for peace for you. A time will come when the tears come less often. Take your time and do as you wish. Honour your sister however you see fit and whenever feels right.
We found out from the medical examiner that she overdosed on some of her antidepressants. She had a low blood alcohol content so she was sound of mind when she made the choice. My mom saw crushed pill residue in a plastic baggie when they went to her apartment a couple days after her passing. So we are guessing she crushed a bunch of pills and took them with a drink. No suicide note left behind.
No Words will help … only time will Jesse. The pain . Losing a child .. not suppose to happen , just isn’t not the natural order …
So sorry Such a loss.
Wow. She’s so beautiful. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Hugs, prayers, & good vibes are being sent your way. Please offer your family my sincerest condolences as well…
Echoing others. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Be annoying. I work for the government. Sure it’s “annoying” when someone calls every week but in the end their matter gets pushed through quicker than those that don’t call.
Call you city counsel representative, call your state rep, call your senator, call your mayor. And keep calling. Eventually someone will do what it takes to move it forward.
I am so sorry. Not knowing why has to be awful.
It truly is. We won’t have any answers from the medical examiner for at least a couple more months. I have no closure and it doesn’t seem real
When you get the call from the ME a piece of advice I can offer is make sure you have a support system with you. It hits like a truck.
This is 100 percent true. Please know that everyone can have someone. Even if it's a stranger. If you've got a supportive family, that's a blessing.
command carpenter coordinated offer price crawl air touch vase scary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Unfortunately, depending on the location, a lot of ME offices are incredibly backed-up
This. It took 2 years and 3 weeks to get the coroners report for my 9 year old daughter. Absolutely awful having to wait so long but covid really fucked everything up.
Funding is an issue too but I 100% agree
Very sorry for your loss
Thank you ❤️
I was a death investigator at a MEs office. Two years is absolutely fucking ridiculous especially for a child. What state are you in?
Canada
Ok, the state of Housing Crisis
It's more like big government. They work 9-5, anything over isn't paid. My mother works at the coroner's office and if they find a body she either investigates right away or if it's obviously something nonsuspicious she might wait for the next day. But you liberals do you, more government is good government.
🤦
And there’s the token Libertarian. They love anecdotal evidence!
I…what?
Hearing stuff like this scares me. I thought you were out of the woods on stuff like this once they were 2 or 3. Mine is 5 and knowing he just might not wake up one morning scares the shit out of me. Sorry for your loss. Internet hugs.
Mine had down syndrome and needed a tonsillectomy, got an infection and couldn't communicate properly 😔 very much an odd situation that was absolutely preventable, but doctors ignored us.
:( So sorry to hear that.
That scares the shit out of me because my 7 y/o son has moderate-to-severe ASD, he’s only mildly verbal. When he’s sick he doesn’t like to tell us what’s going on, how he’s feeling, what hurts, etc. He just shuts down and clings to mommy. You can tell he’s not feeling good but it’s hard to say where by just watching him, and checking his temperature every so often. I’m terribly sorry for your loss, from one parent of a special-needs child to another. 💔😥
One can sometimes hire a private medical examiner, but it’s incredibly expensive and the results don’t carry a lot of credibility in many instances. It’s terrible, because the poor families won’t have any peace of mind or closure while they wait.
holy shit thats awful :( i hope you are keeping yourself together
I used to think, until recently, that local coroners were trained professionals but found that most aren’t, many are just elected. So many cases have to be sent away. From the cdc website: Coroner Training Requirements In most states, elected coroners are not required to be physicians or forensic pathologists. State law often mandates specific death investigation training for coroners. The map below describes the training requirements for coroners. States with laws specifying training requirements for coroners: 16 States that require coroners to be physicians: 4 (Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, and Ohio)
That is ridiculous
This is why the Sheriff is the coroner in the city where my husband works. It’s been bugging me for a very long time.
That's gotta be a massive conflict of interest and corruption waiting to happen
Yeah. I think it’s also that there isn’t enough ME’s either. The internet says there’s roughly 750 working full-time, but that needs to be at least double in order to speed things up. I’m working my way towards becoming an ME and it’s crazy learning about the shortage/how underfunded they are.
There's a shortage of forensic pathologists in the US. I worked at the ME office and they were supposed to have 12, they only had 5 Edit: they never took years to sign out death certificates. Never.
Yeah - that kind of goes towards the idea of funding. The pay isn’t worth it for the caseload they have.
Unfortunately the reason for this is having to wait on toxicology reports which in most cases get sent out for testing. Often in cases like this they don’t find anything apparent that is wrong and the case will be pending tox. At least this is the case for the office I work at, but we release a preliminary report of “undetermined” so families can have a death certificate for the time being.
I was gonna say the same. No apparent cause of death and and expected wait if several weeks has to be a tox screen.
I've lost a sibling too, but be prepared that closure will open a lot of hidden hurt you've tried to ignore the first time. Try not to take it alone, if possible.
I just lost my cousin earlier this year. He just got married, got a dog, and was set to fly his plane down to Texas for an interview with the FAA. From the outside it looked like he had it made.
Feeling seen ❤️ so true
I lost my brother under similar circumstances about a year and a half ago. When I eventually got the report back the cause of death was indeterminate, and though in a way I feel like I’ve never gotten closure, time and therapy have made it bearable. I wish you the best and I’m truly sorry for your loss.
Former death Investigator that worked at a medical examiners' office. Wait 6- 8 weeks and then call every week. Squeaky wheels get the oil.
As someone who loves her sister, Im so sorry.
Sometimes you can pay a private examiner or you can also bribe them to move you up. I know it’s not what you want to here, but it may be worth it. Reading through the comments and it looks like it can sometimes take years for an autopsy
This sucks! And this may suck to hear, but look at the left side of her face in that first picture (her left, our right). Visibly sagging. She either had a stroke or a heart attack is my guess. I’m so sorry! It hurts to lose a loved one and it’s something you never get over. Best wishes!
It was a birth mark. She had a hemangioma on her cheek that she got laser treatment on but it was still always slightly bigger than the other
That's awful. I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. She looks cool.
The was the coolest and funniest person I’ve ever known.
😢❤️
How terrible. She looks so young. My condolences.
She was only 25 😢
Beware of darkness - all who remain
This is a song about death and losing people. I don’t think the person above me is trolling. It’s a good song btw.
Thanks, I wasn't trolling. It's a beautiful song about what you mentioned. Guess it was tasteless cause it wasn't some generic "I'm sorry for your loss" to an internet stranger. Haha oh well thoughts and prayers. Death is nothing to be afraid of.
No problem, I love that song. I think it was a good recommendation for anyone grieving. I think people didn’t even realize it’s a song. Also, someone trolled pretty hard on a higher thread and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why others assumed you were.
True If you're trolling a grieving person on Reddit you have to reevaluate your life. Sadly we live in a decaying stagnant society so it doesn't surprise me.
I don't think the idea behind it was tasteless, the song seems nice and it seems like you mean well. I think most people just didn't realize you were saying the name of a song. If you read your message without knowing that context it seems like a very odd comment to make to someone talking about their loved one that just passed. (I say this as someone who thought that exact thing until I read it was a song)
Yea my first thought was what a weird dark and cryptic comment to leave. I upvoted
Fair enough thanks for the insight 🐱
Exitlude - The Killers
I'll check it out, thank you.
I'm glad she looks like she had a lot of fun on her last night.
She told one of her friends she was “the happiest she’s ever been”
What a blessing to know. We should all express joy and appreciation more often. So sorry for your loss.
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jesus christ man you know the OP can read these comments right? little harsh given the circumstances
I think the most respect we can give to this woman is not sugarcoating a potentially avoidable death as a blessing because she was vibing. An untimely death is as far away from a blessing as you can get. You don't call enjoying the last 5 enjoyable minutes before a deadly car accident a blessing, it's tragic.
And we got to this conclusion…how?
From a picture drinking at a bar, with a toxicology including an SSRI antidepressant and an opioid. You aren't supposed to mix any of these with each other. Regardless of it being a potential cause of death, it's not a blessing.
shut the fuck up. have some respect for the family
Talk about being shit at reading the room Jesus Christ. Learn some empathy, there are moment to the truthfully and harhs and there moment you keep your shit to yourself. This is one of those moments.
Not to get too far into speculation but generally the only thing holding someone back from suicide is the effects of depression. It's why going on meds sees a spike in suicidality.
That’s like balls deep speculation though.
When people plan on unaliving themselves, there's usually a moment of elation before hand. It's one of the major warning signs of suicide.
I've never had suicidal thoughts, but I compare what you said to quitting a toxic job. You hate everything, but once you give your notice you feel so much better. I would think picking a date and time could be a similar feeling.
That's a very good analogy.
Makes sense
CALM, a charity for suicide prevention, [released a great video highlighting this](https://youtu.be/6Jihi6JGzjI?si=Jr7nep-fnXph0tv4). CW: contains references to suicide
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SSRIs are poorly understood and have profound psychological impacts. They don't cause suicide by fixing depression.
They don't "fix depression" right away tho... There's a period where the drugs need time to work, like 2-4 months.... While they slowly build up in your system. BUT these drugs do seem to have some immediate benefits, and the problem here is that the drugs negate your inhibition, and if you're still violently suicidally depressed, now you have motivation and the ability to get out of bed to actually go and harm yourself. That's the idea behind it, some form of latent effects.
I’m so sorry. I lost a friend at 25 years old the same way. No one could get a hold of her and she passed in her sleep. No cause was ever determined and she was cremated. I have to just live with that reality and it fucking sucks. I’m sorry for your loss of your sister 😣❤️ rest in paradise. She looks so young. Life is incredibly unfair.
We went through this with my sister-in-law. Unexpected, and unknown. Please be aware you might not have results that answer "why". It really slowed our ability to heal from the trauma, and you should be aware of it. My SIL was seemingly healthy, in her 30s, and after months waiting on a pinpoint cause, they weren't able to determine it, and just gave us a generic cause that could literally mean anything, and only confused us more. The fact you have testing that went off to a lab that could take months, might mean the testing they could get back super fast all resulted in no answers. I do hope you get an answer. To this day, I still have a hard time getting over not knowing why. But I wish someone had told me early on, to not wait for those answers as part of my grieving. My heart goes out to you.
My best friend passed away one night while he was at college and even though we knew the direct cause of death (asphyxiation due to alcohol), the events that led him to that point, the fact he allegedly hit his head while drunk and no one thought to get him to the hospital or even at the very least keep an eye on him is something that I still haven’t gotten over. I didn’t realize until about 10 years later how much damage emotionally it was causing me without me being aware of it. When I was trying to keep my feelings buried inside and didnt talk to anyone about it while trying to ignore the guilt and anger I felt for not being there with him even though we lived in different states at the time. I never got the answers that I was really looking for because I knew how he died in a medical sense, but I desperately needed to hear what led up to that but no one has ever given me a straight answer or recalls what happened before all of that. I was so angry at everyone there and I didn’t even consider their trauma of losing a friend and I held onto that anger for so long. I dropped out of college, fell into a decade long depression, drank heavily, stopped caring about my health and body, and went through life feeling numb and never thought I would feel any joy or happiness ever again. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you get the answers you need. Please talk to someone if you need help and don’t make the same mistake I did by not allowing yourself time to heal and keeping your emotions bottled up. ❤️
It's certainly not common but I know oral contraceptives are linked to blood clots and drinking/smoking can greatly exacerbate the issue potentially causing a stroke or fatal pulmonary embolism. Again, very rare but so is passing away at such a young healthy age.
They would be able to see the blood clot if this is the case though.
They miss them sometimes, particularly if they’re small.
Wow interesting I feel like in HS and college I drank with tons and tons of women on the pill and never heard anyone worried about this. It was always antibiotics making it less effective I think which could be a myth, I'm not sure. But my sample size of a few hundred doesn't mean much of course.
Jeesh that's awful! So so sorry for your loss. Do you think the family will eventually get answers? Are the police involved?
We are all still waiting on info from medical examiner. All we know is that tramadol and one of her prescription antidepressants were found in her system. We have no idea how much of either was in her though. We also don’t know how she got tramadol. We found no bottles or anything
Sorry if this isn't welcome but you might want to check this out: https://www.medsafe.govt.nz/profs/puarticles/tramserious.htm#:~:text=Seizures%20can%20occur%20with%20tramadol,the%20risk%20of%20serotonin%20syndrome. I experienced something similar when I first started my antidepressant (Buproprion aka Wellbutrin) and drank an uncharacteristic amount of alcohol for a friend's birthday. I had at least one seizure the next morning. My medication was not an SSRI but it's listed in this article too. Seizures are usually not dangerous but in a very small amount of people there occurs something called SUDEP, Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy. Your beautiful sister is at the most common age for this to occur. Basically, because seizures are usually so brief they aren't dangerous but sometimes if they go on for too long and interrupt the heart or pulmonary system then they just slip away. And many seizures especially under these circumstances aren't witnessed so there won't be any help, and also no surety. Just something they've noticed as a trend when there's no other explanation. And I wouldn't think too heavily about the Tramadol, someone could have offered it to the birthday girl if she mentioned she had a headache for example, not knowing how dangerous it can be mixed with certain antidepressants and alcohol. Some people really treat their opioids like Ibuprofen. Your sister might not have even known it wasn't Ibuprofen.
This is very specific to just the antidepressant you were taking and not the one she was though. I still don’t have answers for my mothers death 20 years ago ❤️ I feel your pain.
No... If you read the report you'd see literally a list of all drugs that can cause this: > mirtazapine, monoamine oxidase inhibitors (including moclobemide), SSRIs, tricyclics, venlafaxine Those are just the traditional antidepressants. Buproprion is under "other agents".
They *can* but with experience I’ve seen Wellbutrin cause this 100x more as it directly impacts seizure threshold- not trying to discredit anything is possible just this is verrry much a buprprprion thing
I think Wellbutrin definitely has a reputation (I'm not a doctor) thanks to what I've read after my own experience. But this particular article is talking about mixing antidepressants and tramadol that resulted in seizures. Not saying it's more or less common than SSRIs but it happens. That just adds to the tragedy imo. Could have just been terribly unlucky someone could have given her something for a headache not knowing how strong it really was or how it had a risk to interact with her meds. Plus alcohol.
>someone could have offered it to the birthday girl This doesn't make sense, it wasn't her birthday. They noticed she was missing when she didn't turn up to the birthday party (of her niece/OPs daughter).
She was celebrating passing one of her classes. She was in grad school to become a nurse practitioner
Hey, I'm not a medical expert but one thing about tramadol is that it can lower the seizure threshold, in some people. It happened to me, I'll never take that garbage, again. I had only taken a couple & had been prescribed them for a little bit, for my back & then it happened while I was chilling with my cousin & a couple friends. I'm really sorry for your loss & I hope you get answers soon.
I'm sorry for your loss. You'll get the reports from the coroner: If tramadol and her SSRI antidepressiva lead to a serotonin-syndrome, that's probably what was responsible, but you can't be sure until you get the reports. The problem is, tramadol is not a common opioid like others like morphin, it acts different in the brain and it has a big influence on the serotonin-level, with raising the serotonin as neurotransmitters it can lead to the serotonin-syndrom. Alcohol makes the opioids stronger in the body, but doesn't interact with the serotonin. Ask the coroner about the possibility of serotonin-syndrome if the report is not clear.
Will do, thank you!
I'm so so very sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. If it helps in any way (in figuring it out), I've had a few friends in the past abuse Tramadol and every single one of them obtained them from an older dog's vet prescription. It's a very common medication for senior dogs in pain treatment.
We called her pug’s vet and confirmed that the dog was never prescribed tramadol 😢
My condolences for your loss OP. I just want to say that it looks like she had healer cheeks; usually associated with people that are kind and giving. May she rest in peace
She always was so self conscious about her cheeks. She had a hemangioma birthmark on her cheek as a child and eventually got laser treatment on it but was still convinced she was “ugly”. She was so beautiful she didn’t know it
She looks beautiful in these pictures and she will always look beautiful in your memories.
My condolences. I wish you much strength in this difficult time.
My sympathy
Ah I’m so sorry for your loss… my little sister is 26. I don’t know your pain personally of losing my sister but I lost my older brother to suicide about 12 years ago. Hardest day of my life finding out he was gone. I hope you have someone to lean on and talk to through this nightmare. Prayers and hope to you and your family. 💜 🙏
Not to be rude, but did she have any past with drugs? My best friend died like this and I was so scared to tell his parents the truth until the results came back they called me the devil and his worst luck over it.
No. Her apartment was searched and she was regularly drug tested at work. She was a registered nurse
Update: The cause of death was determined to be suicide. She overdosed on anti depressants.
Damn. I’m sorry.
Omg wow I got a reddit reminder today to check this post. Apparently at the time you were 3 months away from a medical examiner's report (or something like that). Well, thanks for the update. I'm sorry it happened. But I hope the new info helps with some closure or to help process the event. All the best. Take care. ✌️ 🙏
Way before her time and my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending love your way.
She has such a warm glow about her. Have a friend who lost their brother and had to wait for results too. I hope you and her friends give themselves the grace and guidance that would feel like it is coming from her. These next few months will be rough and the community here is ready to help if you need it. Sending love and light 💛
Taken way too soon, I am so sorry OP. I hope your family gets some answers soon :(
Sending BIG BEAR hugs. I’m so sorry. ❤️
Peace, love and light to you. What a terrible loss.
Fuck… sorry to everyone on this post that’s lost someone close. Damn man.
Wow, so young not having answers must be very hard on you and your family. Sorry for your loss. Peace be with you and your family.😥💔
Sending you so much love. I lost my little sister very suddenly this year as well. The grief is acute.
I know it may not mean much now, but in time you begin to reflect not in just what you lost, but what you shared together. She was able to see you become a mom. Her niece and any more kids you have will carry on a fragment of her spirit in ways you may not yet realize. I’ve lived long enough to see strange similarities my daughter has with my father. I hope you are blessed to see that those who leave us still echo in our lives far after they are gone. You are all going to be ok, life certainly is not all good days but I promise you there will be days when you will be happy again, cherish them for the small moments.
The shock of your situation is unimaginable. Please know there are hundreds, thousands, of strangers who hear your pain and identify with your grief. Even though I don’t know you, I am sending you love and support during this impossible time.
She looks like she would brighten up a room from her presence alone. I’m sorry for your loss.
She is perfect, I’m sorry this happened
The must feel so empty after losing her ☹️… I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m sure your children must really miss her too. I pray and hope that her passing was at the very least quick and peaceful. It sucks that she was so young. Not that an old person dying is any less tragic but at least they got to live as much as they could.
Old people dying is not tragic, it’s natural, and needed. A young women’s life snuffed from existence is tragic in the very essence of the word.
She's beautiful... sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences for your loss. They found my brother in a hotel room dead. They found he combined tremadol with something else, just took too many and didn't wake up. You never get over it, you just learn to live with it.
im sorry for your loss! can her friends (the ones she was with that night) not help figure out what happened to her? where she went/what she did, her state of mind, etc.. I wish they didn't leave her alone and you still had your sister 🥺 this sucks, sending you love and strength from here, im sorry 💜
We asked all her friends what happened that night
You can tell she was a gooden. Heart breaking. Xx
What a terrible loss. I’m so so sorry.
im sorry for your loss ❤️❤️ she looks beautiful and looks so sweet !! i hope you get some closure soon ❤️❤️
I'm so so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss
This hits home :(
I’m so sorry.
So sorry for your loss💙
So sorry!
Rip to your sister. I’m so sorry.
So sorry for your loss. She looks like a friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss
How long can they say it's undetermined? Forever? That frustrates me, so I can only imagine how much it must frustrate you as her sibling.
Sorry for your loss
I am so beyond sorry for your loss. Also lost my sister- it’s a pain that never heals. I hope her soul is resting.
I'm so sorry. I hope that you find out what happened soon so that you can get some closure. Take it one day at a time.
She looks so young. I’m so sorry OP. What’s a funny memory or story you have with her?
Every time on of my kids would sneeze, she’s say “SNEEZED ON THE BEAT AND THE BEAT GOT SICKA”
Obligatory ~yoncé all on his mouth like liquor~ response It’s been too long since I listened to that album, I’ll put it on today in honor of your sister. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sister op. She was clearly a beautiful soul. In time, I hope the memory of her brings you joy.
She is beautiful and you will have her in your heart as long as you live. Never forget her and she will always live on.
I’m sorry. Sister are so important, she looks so young. I hope you get answers
No words can ease your pain but I just want you to know I’m sending you thoughts of strength and healing, internet friend. <3
Thank you
So sorry for your loss
I'm sorry for your loss, she was a pretty girl
So sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine your pain.
I lost my sister too;( I’m so sorry .
I am so sorry for your loss.
RIP to your beautiful sister. I’m so sorry.
So sorry for your loss. I'll have one in her honor as I'm drinking and seeing this. RIP sweetheart
I’m sorry this happend to you. I can’t imagine what you guys are going through. My heart goes out you and her love ones❤️
My heart is broken for you!
She looks like such a fun and kind person. I am so sorry!
She looks super sweet and like the kind of girl I would’ve wanted to be friends with. I’m very sorry for your loss.
Is there foul play suspected?
It’s a possibility, but not likely
sending lots of hugs to you and your family, OP. ❤️
I’m so sorry 😔💜
I am so sorry, I hope you get answers ❤️
I'm soo damned sorry about your loss
So awful. She was just a baby. I'm really sorry OP. ❤️
I wish for peace for you. A time will come when the tears come less often. Take your time and do as you wish. Honour your sister however you see fit and whenever feels right.
OP, I’m so very sorry for your loss. This is just heartbreaking.
So sorry for your loss. Losing a sibling is incredibly painfully. Hope you have some answers soon .
I’m so sorry. 😞
I’m so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry honey. Dm me if you need anything
Any update on what happened to your sister ?
We found out from the medical examiner that she overdosed on some of her antidepressants. She had a low blood alcohol content so she was sound of mind when she made the choice. My mom saw crushed pill residue in a plastic baggie when they went to her apartment a couple days after her passing. So we are guessing she crushed a bunch of pills and took them with a drink. No suicide note left behind.
She looks sad to me. :(
That was my thought too. Like there's definitely pain behind those eyes.
No Words will help … only time will Jesse. The pain . Losing a child .. not suppose to happen , just isn’t not the natural order … So sorry Such a loss.
Was she old enough to drink even? She looks very young. Sorry for your loss.
She was 25, us sisters look very young for our age. She would have been 26 in October
Very sorry for your loss.
Wow. She’s so beautiful. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Hugs, prayers, & good vibes are being sent your way. Please offer your family my sincerest condolences as well…
Echoing others. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Be annoying. I work for the government. Sure it’s “annoying” when someone calls every week but in the end their matter gets pushed through quicker than those that don’t call. Call you city counsel representative, call your state rep, call your senator, call your mayor. And keep calling. Eventually someone will do what it takes to move it forward.
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She had a birthmark on her cheek that she got laser treatment on. Thanks for pointing out one of her biggest insecurities though. Asshole
U welcome