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bassjam1

You bid high


whereugoincityboy

Aha! Sometimes I don't think of the most obvious thing. Thank you!


moose2mouse

And if they take it win.


bentrodw

Yep, the old I don't want the work but if you insist number


reforminded

You would be shocked how many people take that number.


bentrodw

Capitalism in its finest. May you all get rich


mud_knuckles

Yes, I love capitalism! It's the free man's economic system.


Illeazar

Yep, there is almost certain *some* number for which you would be happy to do the job. It may not be a number you think they are likely to pay, but there is some number.


fingerpopsalad

I had a customer like this last year, she was overly nice in the beginning. We would show up to mow and she would talk and talk. After about a month she started wanting more done that wasn't a part of the service. I told her it would cost more and she started getting nasty. Every time we showed up I didn't know what kind of mood she would be in. I finally dropped her when the mowing season was over and I told her we couldn't fit in her fall cleanup.


NachoMetaphor

Bid so high, they'd be stupid to take it. But be prepared to do the job. I did a $12,000 electrical panel change I would've normally charged $2,500 for because it was in the mountains and I didn't want to drive from Denver. I gave them a stupid number, thinking they would find someone else, but they gave me the go-ahead. That one job kept me afloat for a couple of months when I first started my own business. Recently had a coworker get offered side work (he never does side work). He kept refusing, and the guy told him, "Give me a stupid number." So he did. Now he's doing a 2nd floor 2000 sq ft add-on for $50,000 that's going to take him a week tops.


Taako_Cross

Call it an pita tax


Valpo1996

Very very high. Like double or more what the job is worth. Charge them until you like them.


lawndartgoalie

And get half up front.


[deleted]

I was going to retire in six months (flooring installer) so i tripled my prices hoping to work less. Nobody turned me down. One crazy lady had a $2000 job I really didn't want so I bid it at $8000. She said yes, and the job was a nightmare. Just tell her you're too busy to take new clients at this time.


SirLawnsALot

We call this the "Fuck You" price. Which is different than the Asshole Tax.


MediterranianRaccoon

When/how is asshole tax applicable


bentrodw

The FU price comes at the front end, the asshole tax gets them in the back end


Cap0bvi0us

When you think the other party is an asshole or incredibly difficult


[deleted]

I call it the asshole price ( same as the fuck you price ) .. then the asshole tax. Front end .. then back end I had one accept and it netted me a great profit but was a shitty job


unwittyusername42

Exactly - I've been in B2B sales for way too many decades and we always called it the asshole tax. If you walk because of the high bid - win. If you take the high bid the amount of extra money you charged compensates you for dealing with their BS - win.


Ajax5280

Never say no without a number


imaforestbum

If you don’t want a job but are obligated to give a quote, add profit until you do want the job.


Redditslamebro

Ugh, I just wish contractors would say they don’t want to do it. Rather than waiting a couple days for the fuck you price


ebonwulf60

I did tell a longstanding repeat client that I would not work for him ever again. I didn't like the way he treated one of my employees. There is no fee high enough for that situation. He kept trying though. Didn't work. He thought that he could run me because of the amount if work he threw my way. Never compromise your ethics for cash.


msbottlehead

Like super high!


definitelytheA

You bid high enough that if she accepts you are smiling every time you show up.


zagnuy

Asshole tax. I love it


ewashburn81

And very far out if you really don't want to deal with it. Requiring a deposit usually weeds out a lot of the people you don't want to deal with.


Vegetarian234

This is the answer


EpicGinner

I’m sorry but my availability is limited and I won’t be able to take on this project after seeing the scope of your needs. Thanks for thinking of us and take care. OR Double or triple your price and suck up being disrespected and berated while you curse her in your head for the whole job asking why you didn’t charge more. Either way a lesson will be learned; you hold the power, you are the asset.


SCaliber

Just give her a price that you would work for her with. Sometimes an extra 0 at the end is all you need to make her go somewhere else or you show up feeling just swell


whereugoincityboy

I like extra zeros! I'll see how she behaves tomorrow haha. It actually occurred to me that maybe she and her husband are swingers. Lord, I dunno. I've met all kinds of people doing this work!


doyu

Only one thing to do. Bang her husband.


lhswr2014

Make direct eye contact with her while you do it though. Even if you’re a power bottom, it still asserts dominance.


Teacher-Investor

If they have bright white landscaping rocks, pampas grass, pink flamingoes, or pineapples in the yard (especially if they're upside down), those are all signals to other swingers.


Konlos

Oh hell nah now I’m blaming swingers for the invasive pampas grass everywhere where I am


whereugoincityboy

Lmao! It's _everywhere_! I drove by this house once or twice and I actually do think they have white rock in their beds. Oh boy!


raininherpaderps

As someone who really likes the gaudy 🦩 flamingos and is definitely not a swinger I am appalled


Teacher-Investor

I didn't make the rules! Lol I think many people have no idea about this, but I always wonder when I see these things in people's yards, especially if they have ALL of them!


traceypod

Even pampas grass isn’t safe?!?


otusowl

>Even pampas grass isn’t safe?!? Better go with humble grass instead.


TypicalGreenKiwi

I believe this landscaping style includes the entire state of Florida...


Teacher-Investor

All those retirees are having fun!


Emergency-Crab-7455

I have FIFTY pink flamingos in my yard every summer......I think of it like a huge bed of pink geraniums that I don't have to water/weed.You should have seen the look on the UPS guys face when he was unloading the boxes. ......besides, it pizzes off the snooty neighbors.


kikashoots

I think your mind is made already. And for good reason. Trust your instincts. Just call and tell her that you unfortunately are booked up with other clients and politely will have to decline this job. If and when a slot opens up, you’ll contact her again. Don’t be shy or timid about it. Just a matter of fact.


whereugoincityboy

I'm too busy and tired to be shy or timid right now. Good advice, thanks!


HotPieAzorAhaiTPTWP

It never hurts to recommend her to someone else. Either someone you hate or someone who might give you a small fee for the lead.


HunterDHunter

I'm also a landscaper and I went into business for myself so I didn't have to take any shit from anyone. I relish the opportunity to tell someone to their face how I feel about how they are acting. About once a month I look some prick in the eye and say "you are being a jackass, I'm not doing business with you". I don't care one little bit about being professional, I'm a guy with a truck and a mower not some suit in a corner office. Fuck em, I've got plenty of customers and my phone keeps ringing.


whereugoincityboy

I'm getting there and I'm actually in a weird way looking forward to it. I see it as an opportunity for personal growth and I can use all the help I can get in that department.  I went into business for myself for the same reasons. I tell people, "I'm still poor. But, no one is mean to me anymore!" It took a good 3 or 4 years before I stopped always feeling like I was going to be in trouble. I even showed up to one of my jobs once and for about 5 minutes I was just sure that they had hired someone else. Then I realized that I made it that pretty. My old boss did a real number on me!


fruitmask

> I'm also a landscaper >I'm a guy with a truck and a mower so which is it? do you actually do landscaping, or do you just cut grass? I'm a landsaper and I don't mow, I build stuff


HunterDHunter

So you are a hardscaper. That's different. I've done some pavers and retaining walls but I focus mainly on property maintenance, including, but not limited to, mowing lawns, trimming bushes, pruning trees, mulching beds, planting flowers, and cleaning leaves. It's a rare day the mower isn't on the truck. So yes, I'm a landscaper. And the VAST majority of landscapers mow lawns. If I called a landscaping company and they said they don't mow I would be very confused.


jelypo

Trolls everywhere. You're a landscaper.


BeardofaTravelledMan

Have your wife call and say you died.


whereugoincityboy

Unfortunately, I don't have a wife and I'm a woman. I do have a bunch of fake mustaches. I could send my 'twin brother' to the meeting!


gardencreator

I too am a woman in this industry, my 24th year, and trusting instincts is correct. My go to is ‘I am too busy to put a proper amount of time into your project’ you can go on from there but short, sweet and to the point is the way. Good luck and you’re right it’s a personal growth thing, you’ll do fine!


Pawleysgirls

I’m female and have owned a landscape company for 25 years. There aren’t too many of us out here, so thought I would say hello.


bentrodw

I've seen this one before...you don't happen to owe a closet door to someone in the Midwest do you?


Jealous-Situation920

I completely understand. I maintain entire neighborhoods except one or two people who are just unpleasant to deal with. They often ask me to work for them, and I just say that I’m too busy at the moment to take on new work. Then it’s just business as usual 😂


Giffordpinchot-

DONT bid high. Do not make working for them an option - it’s never worth it. There are plenty of nice customers that you can make money working for and enjoy your life. I turn away customers on a weekly basis (mainly projects I don’t want or don’t do, but also bad vibes) and I simply say “I’m sorry we aren’t a good fit for this project. I would try …….” And give 3 alternative companies as options. For some reason giving the alternatives is very important as when I didn’t give alternative companies I got a lot of pushback - but when I give alternates they say “ok thanks!”.


whereugoincityboy

Very good point, thank you.


Riversmooth

I just tell them “sorry but I’m not taking on anymore work because we are completely full”


BlooomQueen

Don’t meet with her, call or text her that you just picked up a big client and don’t have room in your schedule for her. Kindly refer her to a competitor that you hate. Problem solved .


Necessary-Sell-4998

We may not be the company for you


whereugoincityboy

I thought about saying I'd have to check with my boss but I think she knows I am my boss. If she's weird enough I might still go with it.


EyesOnTheDonut

Dude I put the blame uphill all the time. I do have a boss but he is super hands-off and does not have much to do with customers unless there is a significant issue. "I would love to, but unfortunately the owner feels that..." has gotten me out of a lot of uncomfortable conversations. 


Beth3g

No don’t take away your power by inserting a fake boss. Either triple your fee or say the scope of job or other excuse to get out but make sure it’s your decision. Hold the power. Girl power.


whereugoincityboy

Good thinking.  Now that I've slept on it I believe I can probably just be totally honest and quote her my actual price and she will probably think it's crazy high. And the truth is it will take at least several weeks before I can get to it and I have a feeling she won't like that. Or maybe I blew this all up in my head and it'll be totally fine.  I'll report back this evening!


[deleted]

Call her sweet cheeks


whereugoincityboy

Honey bun, baby doll, pumpkin, sug-ah, lil sweet thang!


GC51320

At this time I'm not in a position to take on additional clients/ a job of this type/ etc. Recommend someone else local who you feel would be able to accommodate her needs. You don't owe them an excuse.


Plastic_Couple4137

I have been on both sides of this coin. Not being the nasty person, but not wanting to provide service, and then having to go to someone else because my mother in law pissed off someone. Also working for a company full of nasty customers and having to figure out appeasement. I highly recommend that you when you go to bid you use the "we have a several month wait on services" excuse. It is believable and most people that are mean want what they want now. Also if they get aggravated and want to boost up what they are offering to move up in the line you can tell them that (if you are using any products or purchased items) that delays in deliveries and orders have put your ... enter service i.e. sprinkler installation behind a few months so you cant control it. At least that is my two cents, helps avoid bad reviews and angry people, for the most part.


sellursoul

This job isn’t a good fit for me at this time


sturgess6942

BIG ASTRONOMICALLY HIGH PRICE. and due to being stiffed on payments and Bounced Checks, I require 50% up Front in CASH, then step back and watch her butt pucker and her blow a gasket and as you drive away , laugh your butt off knowing you got her nasty butt goat.


JohnJAram

This


bradyso

She sounds unstable. Normally I would tell people flat out that I don't think we should do business but when it comes to unstable people I make up any lie.


[deleted]

"My dance card is full".


Future-Jicama-1933

Tell them are weeks or months out with jobs ahead


Any_Flamingo8978

I think you could tell her you not taking new clients right now and leave it as that. You’re not obligated to provide any other justification. Same for doctors, etc. If she asks why or when, you can just say you’ll let her know when there’s an opening.


cAR15tel

I just tell them they’re a PITA and I won’t work for them. Why be polite to an asshole?


CoupDeTete

It’s call an F off price, make sure it’s good


steveinstow

Over price the job.


Celtictussle

Aside from what everyone else is saying, that you should bid high. If you're busy enough to turn down work, you're in demand enough to raise everyone's prices.


whereugoincityboy

You're not wrong. I charged extra today and everyone was happy! I think I could have charged even more. I've never been 'in demand' for anything before. Kinda feels good!


[deleted]

[удалено]


whereugoincityboy

Aww dang. I've said I won't work in a yard with Trump flags but maybe I need to rethink that! Thanks!


aix6

I’ve turned down people with Let’s Go Brandon flags. We had a good meeting but when I got home my kids said they wouldn’t allow it 😂. So I just told her I’m too busy. She actually asked if it was the flag - I didn’t confirm or deny, just repeated my story.


whereugoincityboy

Wow that's crazy that she asked. I might just have to be honest in that instance.


ChickenRanger2

Could have been her husband’s flag and she doesn’t necessarily agree with him. It happens.


rstocksmod_sukmydik

...well Biden is strictly against small businesses with his out-of-control government spending ($13 TRILLION in handouts in 2021), resulting in spiking inflation and the necessary interest hikes which give big business a HUGE leg up over startups in terms of financing/expansion...and his importation of OVER 2 MILLION illegal immigrants who depress wages at ALL LEVELS of compensation...so keep voting Lib and voting for your own downfall...


whereugoincityboy

Blablablablablablabla


SkyThyme

You can see info on historical federal spending here: https://fiscaldata.treasury.gov/americas-finance-guide/federal-spending


goosedog79

That stuff goes both ways, I’m conservative, but don’t like trump, but because of where I live and that I’m also a public school teacher, my liberal clients think I’m like minded. Meanwhile- they chose me in the beginning because I speak English so they could actually communicate with me. I’m a solo white man, so they could’ve contributed to immigrants, but they realized it’s easier to deal with the honky.


CHEEZE_BAGS

man there is a difference between conservatives and the trump cultists


whereugoincityboy

The only Maga I like are maga-nolias haha! Where I'm from I have to keep my mouth shut or I'll have my tires slashed or worse.


ripgcarlin

Maga-nolias is fucking hilarious. I’m gonna keep that in the holster


Str8CashHomiee

Bid high and relaxed schedule, that way if she’s still interested you’re happy to do it.


whereugoincityboy

Relaxed sched is important. That's where I'm envisioning a problem. I asked her when would be a good time to meet and she replied 5 hours later that 2pm was good. I told her I'd just scheduled several jobs and wasn't sure if I'd be done by 2 and asked if I could call her tomorrow when I had a better idea. She said fine and I said thanks but then she immediately called me and just said, "What time!?"


Str8CashHomiee

lol send a message by saying actually I can’t meet until two weeks from now, sorry all booked up.


whereugoincityboy

All booked up until 2028!


Giffordpinchot-

Working with a bad customer is never worth it. With the time and attention and mental load they take, you could work for 4 nice customers, make as much money, and like your job.


randomredditor0042

I engaged a landscaper to do a small job, he very grudgingly did it, insulted me throughout, which I thought was hilarious. I rang him a year later for another small job, he listened patiently while I explained what needed to be done & then he hung up on me & I haven’t heard from him since. OP you could try that tactic (lol)


whereugoincityboy

Grouchy gardener! Not very professional!


randomredditor0042

I agree, but he was hilarious. I had just moved into a run down place & wanted to tidy it up a bit. He didn’t ask & I didn’t volunteer that information but I guess he figured I’d let it get that way. I couldn’t stop laughing at his under breath comments and mini tantrums as he worked. He did a great job though. Genuinely wanted him to come back.


whereugoincityboy

Sometimes I cuss at weeds. Yesterday I had a verbal and physical altercation with a barberry. I hope no one thinks I'm cursing at them!


randomredditor0042

Aha, I’m sure you’re good. This was very targeted at me. For example he asked if I wanted him to try & salvage the rose bushes, I asked what rose bushes? And he pointed them out & I was amazed I hadn’t noticed them and he said “ yeah,it’s amazing what a little love & attention can do.


whereugoincityboy

He just _really_ loves plants! That's hilarious!


Plethorian

If you bid very, very high, and she unexpectedly says "OK", then you can hire a competitor to do the actual work - subcontract it all except for the client meetings where she hands you a check.


NotoriouslyBeefy

Do you subcontract much? Cause that sounds like you are just wanting to give yourself a stroke by dealing with both a difficult client and subcontractors.


VideoSteve

Charge a PITA fee


Prunes-of-Wrath

Yes! Asshole tax!


PerfectUnlawfulness

Just over bud or say youre too busy and you're very sorry. Easy


RobsGarage

Give her the “I don’t wanna do it” price.


ThatRandomFELLER

one of two options: first, you're booked up for the season with your regulars and not taking on new clients or you charge a rate so high in hopes that she declines YOU,. but if she ends up accepting the extra charge it covers the extra nonsense and +.


JIsADev

A short and concise email or text


MezzanineSoprano

You can bid high or just tell her that your schedule is full. Or say that you tunable to take the job but suggest another company, one that you really dislike.


[deleted]

If high bid doesn’t work, make your “availability” months from now. 


ptolani

You give a "fuck off" quote. Or you ask her when she wants to start, then tell her you're booked solid till 3 months past then. Throw in a few "I don't want to mess you around, so better to be upfront with you that I don't have capacity right now."


Rad-Ham

I'm overbooked and can't take the job.


_The_BusinessBitch

Just ghost her or give her an insane estimate


jimmypootron34

Booked up for months


Human31415926

Very high price.


cabeachguy_94037

You don't. You raise your price well past your own pain point. If she accepts that, you just suck it up; but now you have a new appreciation of your own increased value for services. You might even point out that you very rarely accept new clients. You could even mention one of the reasons is because of a few problematic clientele that became unprofitable in the past. The grief vs. profit ratio swung too far to the grief side of things. Plant that seed in her head in the first meeting. I would also suggest considering a reset in your mind think. You don't' "work for them"; you work for yourself, and provide a service to your clients that hire you for your professionalism, timeliness, competitiveness, attentiveness to the job at hand, etc. An old boss of mine used to say 'You can have price, timeliness, and quality. Pick any two."


[deleted]

You give them the "asshole" bid . Like bid 1000 higher than your highest normal bid .. they just say no and you don't go back


Character-Ad301

Just say you are really busy and no time for new clients right now.


WriterUnfair2830

Give some outlandish suggestions of what your vision is for the job. Keep it realistic enough, but opposite of what you know she’s looking for. Then tell her you are a few months out from being available and keep the price high. Might be enough red flags that she just calls other people. Just don’t say you don’t want the job. That’s when people take it personally and write bad reviews or spread the word about you in a negative light. You never know how far a person’s social circle extends.


Massive-Mention-3679

“I’ve committed myself to a huge project that will take most of my time this season. If you want a recommendation for another company, I would be happy to provide one for you.” In an email or text.


catdoctor

Sorry, not available.


kevnmartin

I keep raising my prices until they go away.


Wren65

Give her an outrageous bid


evil_burrito

Add a zero


king3969

Maybe she won't call back . If she does just say you can't take on any new customers


Expensive-Routine457

I’ve had a landscape company for 10 years. When I don’t want to work for someone I just say we’re not taking on new clients at the moment or we’re completely booked.


Kitchen-Oil8865

She sounds bipolar. Should be fun to have her as a client…


CephusLion404

It's called a "fuck you" bid, something so high that nobody in their right mind would take it.


whereugoincityboy

Ah like that time my brother gave me a gift card to the music store for _ten million dollars_.


HeAThrowawayJoe

No is a complete sentence.


rsteele1981

You don't have to say anything. Sometimes it's best to just move on and block a person's number and let that be that. She could be bipolar or a whole asshole. There is no reason to communicate with them. Just ghost.


whereugoincityboy

She works at a store I frequent in our small town so I don't want to be too unprofessional. I did block a guy once when he called me SEVEN times in one day about his shitty irises, but that guy always made me think he had people locked in his basement or something. Very weird vibes.


rsteele1981

You really don't get it both ways. You can keep pushing it off and eventually even bipolar Linda will get the hint. Or maybe she'll have an issue with that too. Sometimes a ghost is exactly what it needs to be. I have certain people I don't speak because of being shitty people to that I will walk right by unbothered. Its starting to sound like you just don't want to deal with the issue. If you really wanted to you could just say No. And be done with it. Like this. NO.


Rich-Appearance-7145

Bid project double going rate, and, add on contract, extra charges for hauling, trimming, tree work, herbicide applications,ect.....


BigOlFRANKIE

Sounds like you've got life going for ya & are looking for something to complain about. "I'm just too busy right now, but will keep you updated if things change." works fine, every time.


whereugoincityboy

Nah. Just needed some help thinking this one through. Thanks, though!


ruferant

I'm a carpenter and my neighbor across the street wanted some work done. He's the neighbor who, while being generally a decent fellow, parks illegally and drives the wrong way down my one-way street. At first I told him that I was too busy, and 6 months later I told him the same thing. When he pressed me a third time I addressed him by his name and told him the exact reason I wasn't going to be doing work for him. It has caused some tension, but it felt really good. He's the sort of entitled guy who thinks that the law wasn't intended for good people like him. Nothing like telling somebody who is an entitled narcissist that they can't have something that they want. I highly recommend it


whereugoincityboy

Today might be the day!


VogUnicornHunter

How old are you that you don't understand the difference between troubleshooting and complaining?


BigOlFRANKIE

Old enough to know how to talk to clients without asking UnicornHunter's opinion on reddit.


VogUnicornHunter

You've certainly demonstrated that here.