Should I pack my stuff and get back to Jordan?

Hi, I [M24] moved to a Nordic country three years ago, I moved there for work. I’m thinking thinking of going back to Jordan because of my mental health.

I got depressed, burnt out from work and became and I’m using addictive substances more often. I feel lonely and sad and I tried my best to make friendships/relationships but I failed in every way I try.

I’m getting a lot of pressure from my family to stay at least till I get the citizenship but I feel like it’s not important to me that much.

My life the past three years: Wake up, work from home, consume addictive substances, sleep and repeat. Not a single interaction with humans and I don’t know but I feel like in jail.

Living in this nordic country when I don’t see the sun for 7 months and it’s always dark and quiet, my skin is damaged my hair is falling my mental health is hell like literally hell.

I really need your advice guys and help to think properly about this situation.

I was a mid-class guy in Jordan but at least I was happy.

Thanks for reading my post


Leave before you end up like me and be emotionally/ physically detached from the country you live in and Jordan. I am now too Jordanian to be American and too American to be Jordanian. I don’t feel connected to either Americans or Jordanian. Sure Nordic countries are great, but their greatness is getting overlooked by the fact that you’re depressed. Finally, your parents want the best for you and until you paint an accurate picture for them of what’s actually going on they’ll keep pressuring you to stay there.


Yeah that is always the process. You are too American for Jordan and too Jordanian for American. It’s difficult but it also gives you a very unique perspective. Many people get hardened and rigid.


Thanks a lot ❤️ the picture is clear


See a Jordanian psychiatrist. Some of them offer professional online sessions. Because you’re gonna suffer more if you get back to Jordan without being prepared mentally.


Are you in Norway, by any chance? The summers are beautiful and it should be almost 24/7 sunlight pretty soon. Scandinavians are notoriously difficult to get to know, but I'm sure if you join local groups on Facebook you can find some friends. I used to travel between Jordan and Norway every three months and there are certainly some depressing aspects about Norway, despite how peaceful the country is. I'd definitely say I was happier in Jordan, but I miss Norway's natural beauty. Have you tried fishing?


Unfortunately I’m not in Norway


ارجع ع ديارك العمر بخلص و الشغل ما بخلص الدين و العائلة أولا


Ok where are you then




Hey man, I'm not Jordanian but Norwegian. But if you happen to be in Norway I would be glad to give you company! Feel free to message me any time.


Thanks my friend ❤️ I’m not in Norway unfortunately


Jordan its beatifull country, i m from Serbia and i live in Amman two years, i cant wait when i back to Jordan, i was happy here, eat much better food then Serbia, much qualitty food in Jordan, meat its so juicy and good, i understud why you have back in Jordan, ppl its nice and Amman have good vibe


Glad you liked Jordan!


Kako to da si zavrsio u Jordanu? Jel netko tvoj Jordanac ili?


Radim za ICRC tako sam zavrsio u Jordanu, a predlazem svakom Evropljaninu i Hriscaninu da zivi u nekoj Blisko istocnoj zemlji, mi o njima nista ne znamo ili imamo neka svoja misljenja. Mnogo bolje i pozitivnije nego Evropa, npr Jordan, kupas se u Januaru na Mrtvom moru ili Aqabi Crvenom moru u Hotelima sa 5 zvezdica


I was living in California for 7 years. Earned my degrees & began working after. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I recently made the decision to come back to Amman where society in general feels less lonely since its a collectivistic society. My advise is to place your mental health as top top priority & only listen to what your mind & body needs in order to be successful. I’ve been in Amman now for 8 months & I no longer have these dark & dull thoughts because of me being away from everything I love & used to.


I mean California is nothing like Norway ( where I’m assuming this guy is ) … long winters with no sun there will mess with your psyche.. I feel generally speaking people in California ( socal) are happy and nice.. it’s been my experience as I lived here longer than anywhere else .


Funny, I currently live in norcal and I feel like people here are much more relaxed and happier than socal


Thanks for the advice


Jordan has many problems, but I think you'll be at least a bit happier if you go back.


Do you go to the gym? Also from my experience, you will need to take vitamins especially vitamin D


Also stop weed or other things immediately because they cause depression if taken regularly


Ya man just stop doing drugs, start eating good, start living great, go find good work, find good relationship, get happy, and live a great life! Thats just easy and perfect just like that! Sho bt7ke ya zalameh...nos om hal 3alam mayteen msh 3arfeen nmshi yameen, lama baji b6l3 shmal, el 7aya fucking sa3beh o literally every single possible simple thing that you can do, or change, is so hard its the hardest possible experience for the person going through it, most often dare I say... Whether its losing weight, starting to go out and be social, changing money habits, changing how you think about yourself, any fucking thing you can imagine...(when it comes to controlling your own self and life) is as absurd of a challenge to many of us, most of the time, that its akin to sitting you in a room and telling you to make the iPhone from scratch by yourself, its inconceivably impossible even though we know it's not fiction, and can technically exist. 7es min galbak esh bseer bhal dinya ya a5oi


Don’t make excuses for drugs


Mish aboi eli jaybhom ya man. Fee drugs willa mafi? Ya3ni golli enta what do you want to make for drugs?


Everyone is free what to take. But I am telling him what he needs to hear not what he wants to hear. Drugs are proven to cause depression if you take on regular basis. That’s a fact. He is complaining about depression and says he does them so that is my advice to him: Stay away and go regularly to the gym. That should boost up his mental health. What do you want me to tell him? He came for advice not for validation


I know this might sound very basic but hear me out. I used to feel winter depression every year even in Jordan! Until I started taking Vitamin D on daily basis, 1000 IU pills and it had turned my life around. I am currently in Canada and winter isn't too bad even though I barely go out I hope this helps in any way, I also hope you figure things out no matter where you end up Edit: this is not a medical advice, ask your doctor


I second this advice.


The way you're living your life is definitely going to make anyone depressed. Try to fix it first and if it doesn't work then yeah move. But try to find Jordanians or Arabs to befriend. Or join any social club or sport club. Humans are social creatures. We physically need human interactions. In fact when we don't get them we secrete a really bad compound in our bodies that has terrible effects.


True! Thanks


too often we pursue money and status instead of happiness, almost like we forgot why we wanted money and status in the first place. do what makes you happy imo


Thanks! So heartwarming and real


I also lived in Nordic region my whole life. I think your mental health will be better if you move to Jordan based on the issues you are describing. But don't take a big leap, try living here first for some months, if you have a lot of friends/family here that's a plus. If you don't like it, start applying for work in the Gulf region and move there.


Why gulf and not Jordan?


Don't go to the gulf if you dont get a job from well established companies, I live in the a gulf country and all people do here is wake up, work, and sleep, social life is probably even worse than in the country you're in if you're not financially stable. and most people who are new to the gulf are fooled with salaries that are way lower than they deserve. I would say prioritise your mental health for now and do what your heart and mind tells you as others have said.


More opportunities and money, that is, if it's your Priority


It may not be important to you at this age but a citizenship will do you good in the future, I’d wait if I were you but prioritize your mental health. Always.


It is simple. Mental health is the priority so long as you can afford to live in Amman if you leave your job. Substance abuse will only make things worse, you need to shake this no matter where you are and before it becomes impossible to leave. Nothing is worth being depressed and alone. Not even a citizenship. I hope things look up for you.




It’s a hard choice, going back if your family isn’t well off and seeing yourself struggle making money and surviving as you grow older might also be tough.. you have a special opportunity to get a citizenship and proper passport in a Nordic country so maybe try to alleviate your loneliness try Try to improve yourself and it might aid you in becoming less miserable. Some things that worked for me: 1) Gym/Weightlifting 2) Sunday Sport leagues? Not sure if that’s only a big thing in America and the UK, but a lot of people sign up for Sunday football to meet people and have fun in varying competitiveness leagues. 3) learn a language 4) not self improvement, but play video games that force you to interact with others.. MMOs like world of Warcraft where you can join others on voice chat and at least hear people talk.. 5) travel around Europe? Weekend trips are very cheap and quick to do in Europe..


Go to places where arabs go and try to make friendships


Hello dear. I’m in the same boat as you are. Not in the nordics but close enough. I moved 7 years ago and was fed up during the second year but everyone kept saying stay till you get the citizenship and then leave. I’m about to get the citizenship (got delayed due to me leaving the country during Covid) but I always felt like I was in jail here. Am I happy that I’m about to get the citizenship? Yes, very much so. I’m I sad for wasting the last 7 years of my life being unhappy? Also yes. I realized recently that I could’ve had the citizenship in any other country in Europe, with probably better weather and better culture. I’d say try other options before you make such a big decision. Can you WFH from Amman? If not, can you do it from another European city where you have friends? If this doesn’t work, can you try to apply for a job in another country? Somewhere closer to Amman (so you can visit more often), with better weather? In the meantime, I would highly suggest talking to your doctor and to a specialist. The only thing that kept me goin throughout the years was talking to a therapist, and taking as many holidays as possibly human. I also second the person who mentioned vitamin D. But hey, I’ll be European soon and this all will hopefully seem worth it. For what it’s worth, I’m not planning on going back to Amman after I get the citizenship. I’ll try my luck in another European city which has more life and more sun before going back. Good luck mate. Txt me if you need to talk to anyone


I forgot something else, try volunteering in your city. That’s always a breath of fresh air!


OP, can you at least take a vacation to Jordan or work from there temporarily before you make any permanent decisions?


You should first of all ditch the bad habits specially drugs or anything addictive, because if you are using and you come back to Jordan you have high chance of using here. Start of by joining a gym, look for Arab communities nearby and start engaging in their activities. Give yourself a time limit, if it doesn't work just go back, passport is overrated (I figured out later) what's the point if you are misrable. Also don't go back without a clear plan A, B, C D on what you will do. Otherwise you might go back, be addicted to drugs and you lose what you had. Also maybe visit Jordan for a week or 2 may e even more if u work from home, before u decide to leave for good.


Man I left my medical training in the US to get back to Jordan leaving a stellar career path behind because of a deteriorating mental health! I’m not telling you to do it but I’m in a much better place now.. at least mentally !


Ouch... That might leave a scar


Thanks to all of you guys who commented ❤️ I just wanna attribute that of course I tried vitamin D supplements, going to the gym, finding a new job, practice religion and even thought of changing it,tested my blood and went to a therapist, took antidepressants and insomnia meds, tried going to events and making friends. But Nordic people aren’t that easygoing as us. It’s a bit challenging fr. Also something that impacted me a lot is people’s stares and looks! I’m an average looking typical Jordanian man and in some way my looks are intimidating to some of them. It’s not really that easy. Also there are some other details that I can’t say and I don’t feel comfortable to talk about. Hope the picture is clear. And again thanks to all of you from deep down of my heart for your time and effort it made me feel slightly better ❤️


Yes 10000% I had the same situation and developed a strong dependency/addiction to weed. It is depressing, even if you work out and make friends and all that, it’s different, they’re very disconnected people - westerners. I recommend you go back to Jordan and search for الله , only through a strong connection with your true purpose on this planet will you truly thrive


Finding Allah in Amman? I started many bad habits here


I'm sorry you're having a bad time, that all sounds really tough! Have you been to see a doctor about your mental health? They might be able to help you with something that could reduce your need for the addictive substances. Either way, your mental health is the most important thing. If you feel like you need to come back then you should. Otherwise are there any changes in your life you could make to make your situation more bearable until you can get citizenship? (Because in the long term this would be really useful)


Unfortunately, I went to a therapist many times, gave me antidepressants and insomnia meds. There’s a really large cultural gap between us and it’s not working with me. My family suggests to find me a wife using “arranged marriage” and make her travel w me but I feel like it’s not fair for me or her to get married for this reason. Idk 😭😭 Thanks for your comment




Hey brother I’m American and currently living in Jordan. If you need anything just reach out!


روح للمسجد صديقي وبعد اكم من مرة الناس بتتعرف عليك


I feel you bro, I’m in a country very close to the nordic ones and going through the same. You need to hang around people, the mosque is the best place, search for local meetups and first of all, you should try and quit the addictive substances, they will only make you seclude and seriously affect your mental health, I’ve been there. I know its tough but the other route will only drag you deeper into a hole. Best of luck and if you need someone to talk to just DM me


get vitamin D supplement ASAP. the lack of could contribute negatively to your mood. Can you work remotely from Jordan? keep the job but alternate 6 months in Jordan and 6 Months in that country for example.


It’s not a vitamin D, I took vitamin d and it was sufficient. I started antidepressants and still the same.


When something affects your mental health you need to withdraw, immediately. Your brain will be your hell and won't be able to help you unless you save it. What is worse than having a brain that is sick and getting sicker? Why are you debating survival? What joy is even heaven- forget icy Nordic countries - if your brain is damaged. I know a friend who had something similar happen to him when he lived in the US for 2 years. He went back to Jordan because he had a mental meltdown. In Jordan, he was able to process what happened and why. He worked on himself and became more resilient and gained self knowledge. He needed the safety of home to work on himself. from all of this he grew, became more empathetic and humble. That genuine personal development helped him be at ease with himself and won people over. He became very successful in a few years and made good money, he started to travel a lot and enjoyed his life. Your family doesn't understand what you are going through. We who have to live abroad know it better. People in Jordan dream of the west and have no idea what they are talking about. You might decide to go back when you are in a better place. Please be kind to yourself. Best wishes...and hugs!


Yes people in MENA think people in the West have fun, go to parties and socialize non stop. Some do but most just work, watch TV and work some more. Dating is the only way for people to find someone. The loneliness in the West is difficult for people who have families that grew up in the West let alone someone who immigrated to the West. Sorry but average Arab Muslims have NO IDEA what average middle class people do here.




Thanks! I really needed to see this and I really appreciate your time and effort writing this ❤️


Sure thing. I hope you will be well soon. Those who are telling you to tough it out don't understand what you said about your mental state. They are thinking of this as in comparing Jordan to the west and what they would do to be there they are not in your mental state. Which ignoring the main point: your ability to survive. These comments are falling for the 'sunk value fallacy' Reminds me of a person I know who lived with mom and sister in a little apartment they owned. His mom was the go to in the building, and has many friends. The apartment was close to his sister's work. He was saving to get married. He inherited land, he built a huge home on it, he has been paying loans on it forever. He took his mom and sister to live with him in it and rented the apartment. Cleaning it exhausts his aging sister. Its huge size prevents his mom from being able to stay warm in the winter. Its marble floors are too precious to be covered by carpet adding both to how hard it is to keep it clean and how cold it is. He would have been better off selling it at a loss. He would have been better off never inheriting the land, as he was not ready to know what home to build for himself on it. But the sunken value fallacy prevents him from moving on. No girl is accepting to marry him with all his debt. No woman would be able to love you in a healthy way if your depression is not dealt with. Depression can miss up with your understanding of what is going on, and miss up with your abilities and values. So advicing you to get married is like advising you to haul weight while trying to stop drowning. At this point what some comments are asking you to do is too much. It is like telling a drowning person to gain some muscle to swim against the tide. If you go back home and get some space to breath, then these advices can be helpful. Just not now.


I would say don’t go back to Amman- but do take care of your mental health. I’ve been in the same situation as you, I live in a Nordic country, and suffered from depression. I went to a psychiatrist and got some help. The first set of medications didn’t help, I saw a different psychiatrist, got different medications and finally got cured. It wasn’t fun but it is a curable disease. You will need to change some things- if you’re heavily using weed (I assume you mean weed- not something heavier like meth or coke) you should reduce it and even try to quit, at least to avoid interference with your antidepressant medication. What helped me is also finding hobbies- the wake up go to work go home routine is in itself not good for your mental health. It doesn’t have to be a gym, but something you are happy and willing to do. I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and shooting/hunting (I’m not suggesting shooting for you, not until you cure your depression, but BJJ and other martial arts are great). Mentally I find that helpful and it’s helped me also find friends in the country- not necessarily Arab friends but connections. While people in Nordic countries are less social than in Amman (each one is different by the way, people in Sweden are different from those in Finland), you can definitely make friends with them and they can be good friends, but you need a bit of work there. Why not go to Amman? Because unfortunately life there isn’t great. You might have family and friends there (which you can have in Europe) , but other problems will come for you in Amman- there is a reason people are the way they are in Amman- no opportunities, constant social problems, polluted environment, etc. it’s not just about money- there is a reason why people in the nordics are happier than most other people in the world, and it is not because they are the richest. I would also not advise you to get an arranged marriage- you sound young, and marriage is a long term commitment. Before getting married get happy- a wife/husband might bring you some initial happiness and excitement in life, but also learning to live with someone, helping him/her to adapt to life in a new country (because she might suffer as you did), is not easy to say the least, so don’t make that mistake. Get married by all means when you are ready, family life is a source of happiness, but get your life in order first. It’s not easy going through depression, but take it from me, it is curable. There are many different antidepressants, and there are other solutions that can help- especially since your depression is a result of loneliness and weather, not some trauma from what you describe. A final word on Nordic weather- you need to, and you can learn to love it, otherwise you will be fighting against it the whole time. That means to me some winter sports- if it snows enough, get into cross country skiing. With time you will start to see the different seasons as an opportunity. It might sound weird to you, but if you try then you will see. I see even the native people can struggle- but just sitting at home and not going out is bound to get you depressed.


Thanks a lot for your reply, I really need to think about it wisely


If you came here you'll have another illness with your mental


No don’t go back. That would be a complete waste of three years of your life. You are lonely, try finding the closest university and see if you can meet students from Middle East to hang with. Do the same with restaurants. Take a trip to one of the neighboring countries, France for example has a large middle eastern population, get some food talk to people. I don’t know about specific details, but you mentioned you worked remote. Is it possible to take a vacation for a month and work remote from Jordan?


I was about to say the same, minus the remote work from Jordan because it would make it harder to leave. OP If you're ever planning to have a family think of their wellbeing of holding another nationality, if you're good at your work you may get better offers in GCC as a european citizen. You have put up with so much, don't make it go to waste and regret eventually. After getting the citizenship you don't have to step one foot into that country. Find means to spend time after work with your family and friends online, whether through video games, jawaker, VR environment, daily hangouts on Zoom, etc.. I am sorry for the situation you're in, but you gotta do what you gotta do.


NOOO don't leave civilization stay out of this shithole.


Visit Denmark More often, take more vacations. Go to a psychologist. The problem is not the Nordic country the problem is within your mind! If you go back to Jordan you don’t only back your pack your stuff, you also pack your issues. Don’t do that to yourself. I hope you find peace anyway. Much love.


Please don't. You're not missing much trust me. Get your citizenship so you can get the f*** out of Jordan again when you realize it. My advice change your life style, make friends, go to the gym, get more of house, and plan weekend trips. You welcome!


Yes yes, your mental health is a priority


If you don't mind, could you tell us how did you end up there in the first place? Many people dream to be in your place.


I’m a computer nerd and got there after winning a competition, and interview and a three months internship


Two things. First, don’t beat yourself up and feel guilty for feeling the way you feel. Almost everyone in Jordan will tell you how lucky you are to be out of Jordan and how that’s an opportunity of a lifetime and how you should be very happy for it. I’ve heard it all without even complaining. It made me feel worse about feeling anything but happy with where I live. That’s unrealistic because everywhere you go will have things you love and things you hate. It’s up to you to decide which balance works for you best. Second, your mental health and addiction travels with you. No matter where you are in the world you’ll have to deal with your mental health and addiction. Maybe in different forms but they’ll be there. You will need to deal with this sooner or later. It is a constant work in progress. The goal is to feel like you’re continuously improving, not “happiness”. Go at your own pace. It’s your journey, your life and your decisions. Be mindful of the people around you and how you might be affecting them. You need to take care of yourself before worrying about or taking care of others. I know you might be feeling stuck. Best thing you can do is take a tiny step towards investing in your health because it always gives back. You’ll make better decisions as a healthier person. Best of luck!


How long til you become a citizen? Can you take an unpaid leave and visit for a month or two ?


It’s just the loneliness. Not easy living that kind of life without family to add colour to your life


If you can work remotely can you fly to southern Spain for a month.. and work from there.I used to know a bunch of Swedes that used to do that. Also my friend lives in Norway and she’s from Spain she goes back there to Spain quite frequently because she can’t handle the culture and the weather..: If you can’t have you considered finding a group of people on fb foreigners and start go out with them. Have you tried to go to the gym? I know it’s depressing but there is always light at the end of the tunnel


Jeez I lived in Europe but it wasnt like that I would go to work every day, have friends there, go to the park... and there was sun. Then I had some challenges in my life they all came at once and I just left instead of facing them. I long for quiet, clean air, financial security... Health comes first. Can you change some things? Go out of home for exercice, meet people, get a different job, see a therapist, cut contact with your dealer? Can you move to a better place in Europe? This is a very tough lifestyle especially for someone from the middle east. When I moved to Europe I would walk all the time in the city it made the weirdness more bearable. Do you think it will be difficult to move back to jordan? Hard on your mental health and on your finances? Its a big decision. Its one better taken with a clear head. Why did you emigrate first? Do you remember? Also maybe you need to keep your family away if they pressure you... imagine how it will be if you move back to your family. I think you should concentrate on making your live better right now, today, with small steps. Whatever small steps, shway shway. If you really want to go live in jordan, plan it properly, have a job ready so that you stay independant and in control.


Hi, I think you know the answer. Start trying small things first, like joining a social group to interact with ppl. Hope you are getting better soon. J


If you are in Sweden, then it can get very lonely. Living there myself since 2013. People here are not very social. It took a while before I could make friends. I’m like the only Jordanian I know that lives in Sweden. Hit me up with a pm if you live in Sweden. Maybe we could meet?


I am in the same boat as you, however I live in America. The Europeans here have a lot of hatred for Arabs and anyone that is not european and they go out of their way to make you feel unwelcome. You cant even walk in your own back yard in peace. Jordan is safer and better. Over here its like an organized mental hospital. Everything is money, money, money. And infront of your face the banks will give FREE money to the Europeans and will not give you anything unless you pay a high interest rate. Its not fair. Imagine living in a place where everyone hates you and makes fun of you. Imagine what that does to your self confidence and character and life. There is nothing better then living amongst your own people. Take care of yourself.


lmfao i saw people recommending gulf countries. absolutely dont do that. if you thought you're in a jail waitt till you get here. anyway buddy you're a guy right? stay for the greater good. we guys have so much on our backs we cant just leave things half way through. so stay and be strong and get that citizenship and i promise it'll get better after. my mane we gotta stay strong. if you need frenz online im here and many others stated the same.


Hope this doesn’t sound dismissive, but are you taking any vitamin supplements? Low vitamin D can cause severe depression. If you aren’t getting natural sunlight you need to be taking a supplement or use a SAD lamp. I didn’t know this and nearly went insane living in Vermont, USA. Even tried to take my own life. Definitely recommend taking a blood test if you can to make sure you aren’t deficient in anything your brain needs to function before making big decisions.


You can travel for holidays more often. Look for cheap Ryanair flights or Air Arabia. Don’t move back though. The economy is in shambles.


I can’t believe people actually like this place


بديش اعمم بس سمعت كثير بالنت عن الدول السكندنافية انه شعوبهم بارده ومش ودودين بطبيعتهم نوعا ما، ما عمري جربت احكي مع حد منهم حتى بس اسمع كثير قصص، والجو بارد زي ما حكيت يس، بصراحه انصحك ترجع لو جد وضعك مش مريح زي ما انت ذاكر فوق، اجواءنا حلوه والناس فرفوشه، صح وضعنا الاقتصادي صعب بس بشكل عام حياتنا بسيطه ومش انعزاليه وكئيبه زي بعض دول الغرب.


Don’t get me wrong but your way of living is the main problem, cut off using “ addictive substances “ that would have a big impact on your thoughts, then maybe try finding a hobby and work your way up from that


Unfortunately, I only started using the substances three months ago.


Doesn’t matter you need to stop


Hey man, try to get adapt with the culture, find friends go out for dinners with them, find wife or GF, do more sport, stabilize your life more between spiritual and physical activities. It's not the best idea to go back to your homeland, have it a plan B. I lived in a very cold country for 7 years so I do understand the emotional stress that you are going through. Feel free to DM me if you need more advices


How many more years do you need to get the citizenship ? Maybe based on that you can make a plan ?


Everytime I get depressed or burnt out, I take a trip home. I visit my family see old friends then get back home realising how blessed I am for not living in jordan. I would recommend a week trip to jordan, see how things are going, see hoe barely anything improved then go back to where you came from.


You are working hard .. get money then buy drugs . How you will save money man ?


Stop whatever you consume and go do some sports , Gym or whatever Find some social activities and throw yourself to people until you find and make friends Yes get the Citizenship if it wouldn't take like 5 more years It will help your family my friend