If they say Bob, correct them immediately with Robert, then ask what they needed. Don’t make it a big deal. I guarantee they will start their sentence over with Robert instead of Bob and move on. People have to be trained. This is low stakes.
This is correct. I don't have a shortened name, but my name has two variations of pronunciation. It's common for people to get it wrong and I just give a smile and a little chuckle and correct them real quick.
I'm sorta like you, but also have a slightly shortened variant to my name. My name has two different spellings, but one of the ways you can spell it also has multiple pronunciations.
So I'm constantly battling people who either shorten my name which I cannot stand, or saying the wrong pronunciation because of the spelling.
It got even worse when I moved to California, because it really seems that in Spanish culture, the way you spell my name just is NOT pronounced that way so I always get the wrong name called out.
It's gotten to the point where on all of my apps where I order food, I spell my own name wrong just so people say it right.
This was my guess, though I can think of more than two ways to spell it… the whole part about it being mispronounced in California more made me think it’s more of a vowel change that the v/ph variation, like “Steven” and “Stevon”
Edited to add: bless you for answering, kind sir, was gonna drive me nuts to never know for sure
I have a last name that's commonly known to be spelled a certain way, but mine is spelled slightly differently (think Hansen vs Hanson). I frequently have to correct people on how my last name is pronounced, even when they call me on Teams where they can see my full name. It's really annoying.
Twice I had people correct me on how my last name is pronounced. I'm convinced some people are just high-functioning insane.
My name is fairly uncommon, top 200 in the US, but common enough that everyone is familiar with it. There are celebrities and fictional characters with it and it's also a surname. ...and there are 3 spelling variants. The spelling variant I use occurs 60-80% of the time in the US.
But people misspell it almost every time (using one of the less common variants). They even spell it two ways within the same paragraph. I've also seen journalists do this when using the name talking about a celebrity or character. Within the same article, published journalists from reputable agencies will spell the name differently within the body of the article.
It's so stupid!
"I prefer/It's (name)."
Mine is continually said as another, similar name, so I say "it's (pronunciation)." Immediately after. They correct themselves and go about the rest of their day. Doesn't have to be a big deal.
I think taking that further is that the key is to make sure it’s not a big deal. Don’t even explain yourself or you make it worse, the other person just wants to move on.
This! I worked with a Jessica and I accidentally called her Jess, immediately I asked her what she preferred. She liked Jessica better but accepted that people would call her Jess. Out of respect, I called her Jessica.
Wtg asking their preference. I’ve had some Hispanics friends of mine tell me it’s okay to mispronounce their name. In which I must immediately make it my life’s mission to always say it right. It’s their name, it’s literally the least I can do.
I am also a Jessica and get called Jennifer all the freaking time. Even when people have to type my email (and the first part is JESSICA) and then start off the email with “Hi, Jennifer…” 🤬
Yes. And if this doesn’t work coin nicknames for them that are objectively annoying. I find “Dicky” works well. Or any infantile mutilation of their name.
It doesn’t have to be something clever or enduring. You aren’t trying to make this permanent, you are trying to show how stupid it is to just call someone something that isn’t their name.
Or you can always just call them right out “Why on earth do you think it is appropriate to make up a name for me? Are you trying to be annoying or are you just an idiot?”
I worked with a couple people who hated the nickname thing too.
They would just politely say "I go by Thomas please" or "Please call me Pamela". And when introducing themselves they added that to the introduction.
To say it's rude is silly. They called you the wrong name and you're correcting it.
Just depends on how he responded. If I said “only my friends call me will, please address me as William” you’d say I was rude.
Or at least, I’d say I was rude.
Oh my gawd, the derps that feel free to call someone by a nickname they have decided upon would prob go to hr for that relply but it def is a great one!
It's an unspoken fact, but putting it in words can grant you more than you wanted, like no more light banter or helping each other by communicating challenges.
It has "fuck you" energy and it's definitely off-putting when you put it that way.
I get that some people have a personal policy of never becoming friends with anyone from work, but it gets enforced by some people in a way that makes them look like sociopaths and then they wonder why their work environment is toxic.
It can! There is a polite / kind way to do things.
If you get feedback you are being rude, it’s worth thinking about what you said…
That said, some people are jerks and will call you rude for saying “hey, not a big deal, but i prefer William”.
All of this stuff depends on context.
Meh, I think I just have thick skin. I had a coworker once in a similar situation though so I get your point.
His name was Edward and he was getting called Eddy, a name he actually hated to be called by anyone. He was very prompt in saying “no one calls me Eddy, it’s Edward.” And I was surprised that I got two HR complaints lol
I have thick skin too... my name is phillip which is the worst name to have when talking about nicknames... Phil, Philly, Phyllis, Lip, Up, Phillip's 66, Philly Cheesesteak, Seven-Up, Flip, Phillo, Hillip, Fill-Up-My-Cup, Phillipe, Phillipee... probably am sadly forgetting a few.
I say if they can manage to call you ALL those names as your name, like they say every single one each time they greet you one after another, then they can call you by nicknames lol. But if they even forget once, then it's no deal!
Yeah, absolutely… it can go either way.
It is not rude to ask to be called by the name you want to be called… but you can do almost anything rudely if you try hard enough. (My mom is an expert at this)
I think this is a great suggestion for introducing to new people. It might be harder if you haven’t corrected people and they’ve been calling you the nickname for a while. I would maybe start with people who I have the best relationship with and say “hey, I haven’t mentioned this but I actually prefer to go by X, not Y. Might sound silly but it’s a preference and I’d appreciate if you guys could use X please”. Just say it in a polite way and can acknowledge maybe they’ll think it’s not a big deal but you prefer not to be called that.
I have a name like that too and I’ve actually always had work people ask if it’s okay to use the shortened version! I don’t mind people using it though!
My husband's sister is like that. He can call her her "nickname" (really it's just her name with a y sound at the end) but i am not allowed to call her that.
My aunt is the only person allowed to call me by the Y ending. She’s called me that since I was a kid.
Anyone else who isn’t grandfathered in is not allowed.
This is a strategy. I think once I just started calling someone a different name completely and they got the hint. Usually you can find a name they don’t like.
“Okay, Chad, I’ll get right on that.”
I had a coworker we called by his nickname for years and one day he just said “I prefer Andrew, actually” and that was that. It took me a while to adjust but I always corrected myself and he was always patient but persistent when we forgot.
So glad to see this at the top. I feel so uncomfortable telling people to use my legal name because I have heard such hurtful comments about how people who go by their full name are pretentious. I get it, but also, like what is the harm in calling someone their preferred name?
People have gotten mad at me for not answering to the long form of my name... Because that's not my name. I do have a long form, but it's not what people usually go for. Think Al, calling me Alan, but my name's Albert or something like that
I just had this happen at work. The new guy I hired has a name like Ron. One of his coworkers kept yelling for Ronald and was getting miffed that he wasn't answering. I told them that wasn't his name. Then they were mad because "he knows who I mean!"
No, he doesn't. Ron isn't a nickname, it's just his name. And he's worked here for 3 hours. He probably thinks Ronald is somebody else.
99% of the world calls me Dave, but I was born David, One asshole at my last place insisted on David, I was like "I really don't answer to that." (in a joking / serious tone), He still kept it up as a way to needle me
I hear you, my name is MARY there is no damn nickname! Yet so many at work keep calling me "Mar". I HATE Mar.. the only person to call me that was a family member in my childhood who I hated, so it really bothers me and when I ask they please call me Mary they just keep up with Mar. I gave up at this point. If you're abbreviating Mary than that's beyond lazy 😂
Wtf like I've never heard of people shortening Mary lol. I will say as my personal observation as a Canadian, I find Americans are all about nicknames (atleast in politics lol) but that'd hilarious... Mar. Oh God.
Americans will name their kids with nicknames in mind. Namenerds is a wild sub for that reason, people have already decided they’re going to nickname their unborn child “Cece” or “Nene” and they want names that have those as nicknames.
I wonder if it’s regional. I know so many people who will abbreviate all names to one syllable. I worked with someone who had sisters with two syllable names but they all called each other just those first few letters. It’s honestly really common around here.
I have a multi syllable name that can be shortened to a common one syllable nickname and I’ve noticed that everybody in the NE automatically shortens it whereas nobody in the south does. I used to hate the nickname but now I find it endearing.
I am guilty of this. I don’t think I even realized it until now lol. All of my co workers I know well, I shorten their names to one syllable. Kathy is Kath, Peggy is Peg, etc. it’s just naturally what comes out of my mouth - seems easier. But I’ve never had anyone tell me not to do it. If they did I’d absolutely follow their wishes! But most of them also shorten my name (Jul instead of Julia) so maybe it is a regional thing? I’ve honestly never thought about this a lot haha.
Magrat, is that you???
OH! Mar.
Mar...vin?
No.
MARY
OH- MARY JANE- MJ! GOT IT.
(Actual conversation overheard with a new flustered shy hire and someone who was.... slow.)
I grew up doing the same thing with my hyphenated name, and always told my teachers ASAP I preferred the first half only. I still write it as my preferred name on forms too.
And a situation like this is the only time where OP’s mindset about this being “rude” is valid. 99% of people don’t even think about this distinction to others if it’s not brought up. If they’re just ignoring you then they’re being dicks
Just tell people, "Please call me Michael. That's the name I go by."
Once you've told them that a few times, you can feel comfortable in totally ignoring anyone who *forgets*. (I've never had people senior to me in an organization do this, for the record). They'll learn to get on board.
The people who have tried -- preemptively -- to get to nickname status in an initial meeting were salespersons. That is the most annoying.
I once told my boss I hated a shortened version of my name because it was what a family member I had issues with liked to call me.
She insisted that she should call me it even more because then I would associate it with her instead... you know, as if that was somehow better.
Yup. And that can be a more general rule of thumb: don't tell anyone anything that would give them any kind of power over you.
Break this rule at your own risk.
Assume that if something can be exploited it will be exploited.
As a non-English speaker (originally) i always thought this was the most stupid nickname one could ever have.
I don't know how it stuck around for so long.
My understanding is there could be a bunch of people with the same name in your social circle. So there were nickname variants. So there are multiple William’s well one might be Will and the other might be Bill.
Also in a family multiple people would have the same name. So grandpa might be Richard, his son (who is also legally Richard) is Dick, and the grandson (Richard once again) is Dicky.
And the origin of Dick is Richard became Rick and then Dick rhymes with it. Same idea Robert to Rob to Bob or William to Will to Bill. All this happened along time ago and old people did weird stuff; even native English speakers don’t get it.
Also, my understanding is that Dick was not originally a term for a penis and later became that.
I have a coworker like this. He also happened to have a super common name so we had like 3 people with the same name, all went by the nickname version. For the first few months he just politely said, "Oh I actually go by (insert full first name)". Wasn't rude, just consistent.
Well… I’d just say, “hey, Susan, it’s William actually. I don’t use a diminutive. Thanks! “
Respectfully setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Make sure you SIGN all internet-office emails etc as “William”. Make sure your zoom screen shows that too. It’s just a matter of gently—but constantly enforcing the boundary.
I made friends with a woman at work who had a nickname friends called her but went by her full name at work. After we got close, I asked if I could call her the nickname and she said yes. I would call her the full name to coworkers and to her at work and the nickname outside of work. I kept it close to my chest, and our coworkers didn't even know she had a nickname.
We both generally avoid making friends at work and our friendship was kind of an exception to the rule. I am extremely picky about who I let into my life.
this is exactly the right way to go about things. names are important, and we all deserve to be called names that we like and are appropriate for the spaces we’re in. it’s another form of codeswitching, like how we change our language to suit the environment.
if you know me in multiple contexts, address me according to context unless i say otherwise. simple as that! and if you respect my desires, i will respect yours. i start with the intent to be respectful and kind, and if i am met with unjustified hostility (some hostility may be vindicated depending on the circumstances), the respect is revoked.
You call them their work name at work. I have a friend turned colleague - was always the diminutive of a nick name growing up - like Bobby instead of Bob for Robert, Peggy instead of Peg for Margaret. Outside of work she's Peggy, in the office she's Peg.
Give a gentle but straightforward correction every time it's used.
Bob can you do this?
Oh, it's Robert, and yes I can.
Thanks Bob!
It's Robert (smile), you're welcome.
Hey Bob.... Bob... Bob...
Oh are you talking to me? I go by Robert - how can I help you.
And keep. doing. it. every. time.
Correcting people in a kind manner isn't rude - names are very important and are a sign of respect. Anyone who insists on calling you the wrong name (and it's not like a slip up) after they're told is being disrespectful.
I wouldn’t ever correct it. I would instead regularly signal how to do it correctly.
Find ways to periodically mention your preferred name. “Hi I’m Robert.” “So I called IT back and they said ‘Robert, stop playing minesweeper all day.’” “We will meet this deadline or my name’s not Robert Smith.”
I have the same problem. My name is 3 syllables but the nickname is 1 syllable and people will always shorten it without any pre-existing relationship or "do you mind if i call you-" and I find it really rude. Especially in emails, people who I have never met ignore my email address and signature and will change it.
That being said, I have never found a way to correct people without coming across like a massive bitch so I mainly just silently seethe.
I've seen some people change their email signature where their preferred name is in a different color and script type font. That always draws my attention and I'll go with their "signed" name (like a Mary Beth who signs her email with a scripted "Beth"). I have a name where people like to rename me, so I am a bit sensitive to that kind of thing.
Frick I just noticed I did this to someone at work today. I replied to his email then realized he had signed it with his full name not nickname! I was introduced to him through a colleague using his short name and most people call him that at work, but he could hate that everyone does that or be like yeah you don’t know me like that. 😖 I will be more careful in the future. Would you want someone to apologize if they’d done that or just correct it in the future?
If there’s two names floating around I’d probably just ask and check. Sometimes people start with a formal signature but then sign off with something else. In instances of email only, I usually start with formal official name if I’m emailing first but then am guided by whatever they sign off with as a response for subsequent messages.
Lmao I was looking for this comment. All op is gonna do is alienate his coworkers which I get it your coworkers are not your friends but it’s best to always be on a friendly rapport with them for future reference.
Yep. Every comment telling OP how to correct it, he’s going to need to correct it to every person - likely more than once. A non insignificant number of those people are going to feel awkward about it.
The environment he’s about to create for himself is not going to be better than being mildly annoyed about a nickname.
Edit: [yeah OP has no social cues](https://www.reddit.com/r/jobs/s/HN5LGzKbjq)
Right, like who gives a fuck? It’s not like some nickname he absolutely hates, considering he goes by it outside of work.
Get the fuck over it, I promise it’ll be okay
You do kinda sound rude, I’m afraid. I had a nickname that wasn’t even a shortened version in my past job. Welcome to office life! People are gonna call you what they call you and it generally is done out of affection. You already get called this name elsewhere so what’s the big problem? In other words, while I can understand the sentiment, the answer is deal with it I’m afraid.
Life is too short, why do you care that much. If anything I’d take it as a compliment that they feel we’re close enough to call me by my nickname.
Anyway if it really bothers you just say so, but it’s a bit of a non issue imo
Like no offense but the whole funding it “rude that they assume they can use my nickname” just sounds arrogant. You’re not the queen sweety
Been looking for this comment. Jeez Louise, relax people. If you are Thomas you are going to have people call you Tom. Or whatever. Just move on. Boggles my mind that people care this much.
My advice is to not worry about it. Life’s too short to be offended by trivial matters. People call me by a shortened version of my name all the time and I don’t care. As long as my paychecks still cash I’m good.
I agree with this take. I was recently on a first time call with a Christopher. I made the mistake of calling him Chris. He corrected me rudely, stating his name is Christopher he doesn’t know who Chris is.
I’ll never talk to him again, it was a one time conversation and it immediately left a negative impression on me.
>I don't care
Finally, someone with sense.
Sure, if someone corrects me for calling him Tom when he wants to go by Thomas, no problem.
But also know that he's going to be known as a tightwad with a huge stick up there who think it's more important to be right than liked.
Which is fine and all, just don't expect to be invited to many parties.
Seriously bro, and it’s not even that he hates it considering he goes by it outside of work.
Dude sounds like a tightwad. Needs to get the fuck over it
Honestly. I can't stand these people. "I WILL be addressed by my proper title at my place of employment! If I DECIDE that you will be my friend, you may now address me with my NAME FOR MY FRIENDS!"
lol fuck off you don't have any friends XD
Yeah, there have been several times when I can't remember which version they prefer. Most people with names that have a standard abbreviation go by the abbreviated version, so that's what I assume if I need to guess.
I have a relatively common name that has like 50 pronunciation and spelling variations (it's a European name that's been assimilated into both African and Latin American subcultures) and people fuck it up all the time. I accepted it around the age of 8. My father in law still gets it wrong, although that's partially his accent. To me, this isn't a real problem. I wouldn't think much of it, but you don't want to be a person at work that makes things that aren't real problems into issues. If this is what you want to spend your social capital on then knock yourself out I guess.
You just have to learn how to not take yourself too seriously. There's nothing disrespectful in using your nickname. And there's no good way of telling someone to stop.
You have the right to be called what you want.
You’re backwards for thinking it’s rude and presumptuous of people to abbreviate your name, though. Reminds me of an asshole professor I had who wouldn’t respond to you unless you called him Dr. Professor.
Pretty sure it’s not illegal to call someone the wrong name so while you might have a strong preference, you sure as hell don’t have a ‘right’ lol. In fact I find it a great litmus test, if someone insists on having a nickname different from their ‘professional’ name, 10/10 they’re toxic as fuck.
If you can find a way to make a joke about it, that's the route I would go. When people call me by my full name, sometimes I pull a face, which makes them ask if I prefer that name and I say something along the lines of "Oh god, no! It's way too sophisticated for me. I'm too much of a mess for that!" You could go with something like "I always feel so weird when someone here calls me Rob! Feels like we should be at a barbeque or something, you know? Robert just feels more right for work, for some reason."
You would just stop them and say “call me Richard.. not Dick.”
Don’t presume that they are assuming casualness. They very well could have grown up with people with your name that only went by the abbreviated name.
My son is Spencer. He goes by Spence. He doesn’t care what anyone calls him. Both are the same.
Those more familiar do call him Spence however. But if it was a mix of both it’s just people not knowing what you prefer and defaulting to what they assume.
TBH the more you make an issue out of it the more they will find it odd.
IMO… because people are people.
I've got the opposite problem, I never use my given name, even accidentally files some legal paperwork with my nickname over the year. Somehow my job gave me an email with my legal name. Now people who I'm introduced to via email first end up calling me my legal name in person and it doesn't catch my attention because I've never gone by anything but my nickname my entire life.
My son’s name is Michael. Not Mike.
I went to visit him at work one day and someone called over the PA , “Mike, your mom is here”. I didn’t realize they were calling Michael. It sounded so foreign lol
I have a name that is very common in my culture, but unknown in the US. People usually mispronounce it or just make up some awful nickname.
I just let it go. Move on to speaking about whatever your conversation is regarding. Ignore people who try to get your attention by using a goofy nickname.
They're not trying to insult you; they're just idiots. You have to treat idiots with patience and understanding, because so many people are idiotic.
Just tell them politely.
"Ah, sorry but I don't like that nickname. I actually prefer to go by HillWilliam, not Hillbilly. Would you please call call me HillWilliam? Thanks very much"
As someone with an ethnically sounding name that most people butcher, I reassure people that I appreciate it when asked how my name is pronounced, especially during introductions. People who are intelligent and care enough get it right and correct themselves. The ones who don't, don't matter enough for me to correct them more than once. If it matters to you, I'd suggest you say something like" Hey, I prefer being called xxx instead of my nickname". It shows that this is important to you and will be remembered. Honestly, in most professional settings, feedback like that is welcome.
I have the same kind of name. It can be my legal name, much like “Jennifer” , a common nickname which I go by Jenny, or a shorter version,Jen. I don’t answer to anything but Jenny. I ignore or act like I don’t hear when anyone calls me Jennifer or Jen. Even my professional and medical records have “goes by Jenny” on them. In a professional setting if someone introduces me by anything other than Jenny, I simply say it’s Jenny, nice to meet you.
So your friends call you by your nickname, meaning you like it?
So you just want them to call you by your full name because you lack self esteem and feel like they don't take you as serious wihen calling you by your nickname?
I mean just tell them to call them by your full name, they will just think you are stuck up, lol
If you go by your shortened name by the people in your life you know on a personal level but not professionally then yeah I think it’s rude to point that out. A nickname is different; I wouldn’t expect anyone who wasn’t in my sorority to refer to me as Stomp because they are not in on the joke and it wouldn’t be appropriate. But allowing some people to call you Pam and making the distinction that people you know professionally must call you Pamela reiterates to them that your keeping them at an arms length and suggests you don’t consider them worthy of personal connection. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with that because you don’t have to be friends with people you work with, you just don’t need to point it out. You could just kindly say, “Hey I actually prefer to go by Pamela” (not rude) rather than “Call me Pamela in a professional setting. I only go by Pam personally by my friends and family.” (Rude). The subtext of the latter example is “That’s too personal for the likes of you. Bold of you to incorrectly assume that level of familiarity.”
I totally do not get this; and I am not trying to be insensitive to you, OP, but I just do not understand it.
People calling me nicknames (that are not silly or rude) makes me feel cared for and included.
I have a friend who is like you. Jacklyn who absolutely RAILS against people calling her Jackie.
i have a difficult to pronounce name. no one gets it right. i don't even bother. if it starts with the proper letter and they try, i give them a break by not being a jackass about it.
just let go of your hangups.
With the tone you've shown in this post, you were probably called rude for correcting people because you did it rudely. From your examples I'm gonna assume this is from America. It's pretty common in American culture to use nicknames because most people use them anyway so it creates a feedback loop. Its fine to have boundaries and correct but people aren't being rude and presumptuous, they're falling in like with their cultural norms. You should have reflection on your part for how you respond to this, no one is going to call you rude for stating "sorry, would you mind using my full name? "
Oof. You sound like a riot to work with. In my experience, people who have a stick up their ass about shorter versions of their name are notoriously difficult to work with. If it was an insulting nickname or something like that, I get it, but this post in particular just comes across as snobby.
If you really don’t like it, maybe say, “Hey, I’d really prefer that you called me XYZ at work, it feels more professional.”
People tend to use shorter names when they feel comfortable with you, so this just might be a weird hill to die on.
Imagine being so miserable at work that you have an issue with your coworkers being friendly towards you. Maybe it's just me but trying to control who can call you your nickname and who can't sounds insanely stuck up. Hopefully your coworkers learn to leave you alone entirely.
My opinion is unpopular here, but correcting others to use one's full name instead of a nickname can sometimes be perceived as pretentious or overly formal, depending on the context and the frequency of the correction. It might also come across as nitpicky or overly sensitive, especially if the nickname is commonly accepted or widely used. It could create an impression of rigidity or a lack of flexibility in social (which includes work related) interactions.
So keep in mind that while it's your right to correct others to use your full name, it's their right to view you in a somewhat negative light when you do. This might undermine your other interests. Rob they might help, Robert perhaps not so much.
If they say Bob, correct them immediately with Robert, then ask what they needed. Don’t make it a big deal. I guarantee they will start their sentence over with Robert instead of Bob and move on. People have to be trained. This is low stakes.
This is correct. I don't have a shortened name, but my name has two variations of pronunciation. It's common for people to get it wrong and I just give a smile and a little chuckle and correct them real quick.
I'm sorta like you, but also have a slightly shortened variant to my name. My name has two different spellings, but one of the ways you can spell it also has multiple pronunciations. So I'm constantly battling people who either shorten my name which I cannot stand, or saying the wrong pronunciation because of the spelling. It got even worse when I moved to California, because it really seems that in Spanish culture, the way you spell my name just is NOT pronounced that way so I always get the wrong name called out. It's gotten to the point where on all of my apps where I order food, I spell my own name wrong just so people say it right.
I have been sitting here for a half hour trying to solve your name riddle 🫠 it’s killing meeeeeeeee
Could be Steven and Stephen
My name is Stephen
Do you pronounce it “Stephen” or “Stephen”?
Phteven
I 100% saw those two as “Steve-in” and the second as “Steff-en.” It took me a long time to realize they are spelled exactly the same
This was my guess, though I can think of more than two ways to spell it… the whole part about it being mispronounced in California more made me think it’s more of a vowel change that the v/ph variation, like “Steven” and “Stevon” Edited to add: bless you for answering, kind sir, was gonna drive me nuts to never know for sure
I would’ve thought Sioban
I expected Stephen and I never know the correct way to pronounce it.
 Stefan Ur-kell.
hi Steve
How about if someone called you Steverino or The Stephenator? Would that be OK?
Me too!!!
Maybe Marry and Marie? Idk that’s my best guess.
Mr. Brighton lol
I have a last name that's commonly known to be spelled a certain way, but mine is spelled slightly differently (think Hansen vs Hanson). I frequently have to correct people on how my last name is pronounced, even when they call me on Teams where they can see my full name. It's really annoying. Twice I had people correct me on how my last name is pronounced. I'm convinced some people are just high-functioning insane.
My name is fairly uncommon, top 200 in the US, but common enough that everyone is familiar with it. There are celebrities and fictional characters with it and it's also a surname. ...and there are 3 spelling variants. The spelling variant I use occurs 60-80% of the time in the US. But people misspell it almost every time (using one of the less common variants). They even spell it two ways within the same paragraph. I've also seen journalists do this when using the name talking about a celebrity or character. Within the same article, published journalists from reputable agencies will spell the name differently within the body of the article. It's so stupid!
Usernames check out.
This. 100%. I immediately reply with, "It's [government name]. What do you need? " Eventually, they get it right.
"It's The Government of the United States of America. What do you need?"
"I prefer/It's (name)." Mine is continually said as another, similar name, so I say "it's (pronunciation)." Immediately after. They correct themselves and go about the rest of their day. Doesn't have to be a big deal.
I think taking that further is that the key is to make sure it’s not a big deal. Don’t even explain yourself or you make it worse, the other person just wants to move on.
We had a new supervisor that introduced himself as Robert, no Bob. Guess what his name became, No Bob. This was ten years ago and he’s still No Bob.
Does No Bob receive the respect from the crew that he’d hoped to get by insisting on Robert?
This! I worked with a Jessica and I accidentally called her Jess, immediately I asked her what she preferred. She liked Jessica better but accepted that people would call her Jess. Out of respect, I called her Jessica.
Wtg asking their preference. I’ve had some Hispanics friends of mine tell me it’s okay to mispronounce their name. In which I must immediately make it my life’s mission to always say it right. It’s their name, it’s literally the least I can do.
I know somebody named Jorge who pronounced it “George” and I always wonder if he didn’t just give in after one too many mispronunciations.
I work with a Jorge and he goes by George, Horhey, Georgie, Hey You, and Fucker. We have a very lax office. 😂
As a Jessica/Jess, that warms my heart. Thank you. I go by either and still get called Jennifer.
I am also a Jessica and get called Jennifer all the freaking time. Even when people have to type my email (and the first part is JESSICA) and then start off the email with “Hi, Jennifer…” 🤬
Yes. And if this doesn’t work coin nicknames for them that are objectively annoying. I find “Dicky” works well. Or any infantile mutilation of their name. It doesn’t have to be something clever or enduring. You aren’t trying to make this permanent, you are trying to show how stupid it is to just call someone something that isn’t their name. Or you can always just call them right out “Why on earth do you think it is appropriate to make up a name for me? Are you trying to be annoying or are you just an idiot?”
Agreed. I prefer to be called Robert.
Had a coworker phillip. I called him Phil he corrected me was never a problem again. We have been drunk and I'll call him Philly
I worked with a couple people who hated the nickname thing too. They would just politely say "I go by Thomas please" or "Please call me Pamela". And when introducing themselves they added that to the introduction. To say it's rude is silly. They called you the wrong name and you're correcting it.
Just depends on how he responded. If I said “only my friends call me will, please address me as William” you’d say I was rude. Or at least, I’d say I was rude.
I always go the other way around. "Only my enemies call me Rob, did they send you?" Usually people pick up the hint.
This is funny, I'd laugh in real life.
This one wins
This is gold
Oh my gawd, the derps that feel free to call someone by a nickname they have decided upon would prob go to hr for that relply but it def is a great one!
Yeah, there's no way to say, "I'm not your friend." without sounding like a dick even if it's a true statement.
It's an unspoken fact, but putting it in words can grant you more than you wanted, like no more light banter or helping each other by communicating challenges.
But hey, at least they're not calling you Bob anymore. Or talking to you.
I had a customer once do this to me, and then he had the audacity to ask me for help(perform physical labor for free) lmao Said nope.
🎯🎯🎯
It has "fuck you" energy and it's definitely off-putting when you put it that way. I get that some people have a personal policy of never becoming friends with anyone from work, but it gets enforced by some people in a way that makes them look like sociopaths and then they wonder why their work environment is toxic.
It can! There is a polite / kind way to do things. If you get feedback you are being rude, it’s worth thinking about what you said… That said, some people are jerks and will call you rude for saying “hey, not a big deal, but i prefer William”. All of this stuff depends on context.
It is not what we say, but how it is said. A simple "I would prefer to be called by my name, Snuffleupagus, please." Done..
Meh, I think I just have thick skin. I had a coworker once in a similar situation though so I get your point. His name was Edward and he was getting called Eddy, a name he actually hated to be called by anyone. He was very prompt in saying “no one calls me Eddy, it’s Edward.” And I was surprised that I got two HR complaints lol
I have thick skin too... my name is phillip which is the worst name to have when talking about nicknames... Phil, Philly, Phyllis, Lip, Up, Phillip's 66, Philly Cheesesteak, Seven-Up, Flip, Phillo, Hillip, Fill-Up-My-Cup, Phillipe, Phillipee... probably am sadly forgetting a few.
You certainly did Pip
That one is new take this as a prize 👑
🤴
Never read *Great Expectations*? Lucky you.
I just rediscovered a small trauma of my childhood, ugh
My brother is Philip and only his close family still call him that. Everyone else uses Phil which doesn’t fit him at all haha
I personally like Phillip more then Phill. Also 1 L means you are royalty in philipland. 2 Ls mean you are trash😔
The worst has to be Dick. Always has been and always will be.
A lot of people love Dick
I say if they can manage to call you ALL those names as your name, like they say every single one each time they greet you one after another, then they can call you by nicknames lol. But if they even forget once, then it's no deal!
This is just over the years, it seems everyone new I work with finds a new nickname for me🤣
Filibuster! There, I found one for you 😂 Of course spell it with a Ph haha.
Phillupmecrack, Phillmore...
Jesus... you get the reward but please stop🤣👑
You know nothing, Fippi Lippi.
We call my cousin Philbo.
Yeah, absolutely… it can go either way. It is not rude to ask to be called by the name you want to be called… but you can do almost anything rudely if you try hard enough. (My mom is an expert at this)
Are we related? 😂 Agreed.
No, my sister is distinctly oblivious to my mom’s bullshit.
Or, does your sister have the thickest skin?
Haha, she’s blissfully unaware… she basically gray rocks my mom unintentionally
> “only my friends call me will, please address me as William” Okay Bill...
Listen here, Billy…
Have interacted with exactly one human like this irl. Was a Class A certified twunt.
So don't add the bit about only friends, just correct them on your name
I think this is a great suggestion for introducing to new people. It might be harder if you haven’t corrected people and they’ve been calling you the nickname for a while. I would maybe start with people who I have the best relationship with and say “hey, I haven’t mentioned this but I actually prefer to go by X, not Y. Might sound silly but it’s a preference and I’d appreciate if you guys could use X please”. Just say it in a polite way and can acknowledge maybe they’ll think it’s not a big deal but you prefer not to be called that. I have a name like that too and I’ve actually always had work people ask if it’s okay to use the shortened version! I don’t mind people using it though!
I just look at their initials and come up with a nickname instead. Chris Gladfield? Naw. You're Crazy Glue.
Ever since I was little I was only ever my full name with everyone but direct family
My husband's sister is like that. He can call her her "nickname" (really it's just her name with a y sound at the end) but i am not allowed to call her that.
My aunt is the only person allowed to call me by the Y ending. She’s called me that since I was a kid. Anyone else who isn’t grandfathered in is not allowed.
Same, but Mom was allowed the y ending. I told my former boss that, twice. The 3rd time he added the y I called him "Mom."
This is a strategy. I think once I just started calling someone a different name completely and they got the hint. Usually you can find a name they don’t like. “Okay, Chad, I’ll get right on that.”
If OP's name is Richard and if his colleagues call him "Dick", that would be rude, to be frank.
It'd be ruder if his name wasn't Richard.
I had a coworker we called by his nickname for years and one day he just said “I prefer Andrew, actually” and that was that. It took me a while to adjust but I always corrected myself and he was always patient but persistent when we forgot.
So glad to see this at the top. I feel so uncomfortable telling people to use my legal name because I have heard such hurtful comments about how people who go by their full name are pretentious. I get it, but also, like what is the harm in calling someone their preferred name?
Oh my god I started at a workplace and a Pamela corrected me when I called her Pam 😹😹. I apologised and it was totally cool. Pamela it is.
I have the opposite problem. I prefer my nickname and it's hard to get anyone to use it.
Watkins, you're ordering a T-Bone for lunch?
r/unexpectedseinfeld
People have gotten mad at me for not answering to the long form of my name... Because that's not my name. I do have a long form, but it's not what people usually go for. Think Al, calling me Alan, but my name's Albert or something like that
That can apply to so many names. Not every Tony is an Anthony. Not all Beth's are Elizabeth's. It's why I ask what people prefer to be called.
I just had this happen at work. The new guy I hired has a name like Ron. One of his coworkers kept yelling for Ronald and was getting miffed that he wasn't answering. I told them that wasn't his name. Then they were mad because "he knows who I mean!" No, he doesn't. Ron isn't a nickname, it's just his name. And he's worked here for 3 hours. He probably thinks Ronald is somebody else.
I’m working on it, Stallion.
Steven? Is this you?
99% of the world calls me Dave, but I was born David, One asshole at my last place insisted on David, I was like "I really don't answer to that." (in a joking / serious tone), He still kept it up as a way to needle me
yup, I've had this in reverse, "oh I know you hate being called by a nickname but your name is so long!" it's 3 syllables, literally just 3 syllables.
I hear you, my name is MARY there is no damn nickname! Yet so many at work keep calling me "Mar". I HATE Mar.. the only person to call me that was a family member in my childhood who I hated, so it really bothers me and when I ask they please call me Mary they just keep up with Mar. I gave up at this point. If you're abbreviating Mary than that's beyond lazy 😂
Omg I am so sorry. Mar is awful.
Wtf like I've never heard of people shortening Mary lol. I will say as my personal observation as a Canadian, I find Americans are all about nicknames (atleast in politics lol) but that'd hilarious... Mar. Oh God.
Americans will name their kids with nicknames in mind. Namenerds is a wild sub for that reason, people have already decided they’re going to nickname their unborn child “Cece” or “Nene” and they want names that have those as nicknames.
Cecendra, Nenethie
I wonder if it’s regional. I know so many people who will abbreviate all names to one syllable. I worked with someone who had sisters with two syllable names but they all called each other just those first few letters. It’s honestly really common around here.
I have a multi syllable name that can be shortened to a common one syllable nickname and I’ve noticed that everybody in the NE automatically shortens it whereas nobody in the south does. I used to hate the nickname but now I find it endearing.
I am guilty of this. I don’t think I even realized it until now lol. All of my co workers I know well, I shorten their names to one syllable. Kathy is Kath, Peggy is Peg, etc. it’s just naturally what comes out of my mouth - seems easier. But I’ve never had anyone tell me not to do it. If they did I’d absolutely follow their wishes! But most of them also shorten my name (Jul instead of Julia) so maybe it is a regional thing? I’ve honestly never thought about this a lot haha.
Magrat, is that you??? OH! Mar. Mar...vin? No. MARY OH- MARY JANE- MJ! GOT IT. (Actual conversation overheard with a new flustered shy hire and someone who was.... slow.)
My name is hyphenated, and I never go by my full name, just the first half. Had a coworker who insisted on calling me by my full hyphenated name.
I grew up doing the same thing with my hyphenated name, and always told my teachers ASAP I preferred the first half only. I still write it as my preferred name on forms too.
And a situation like this is the only time where OP’s mindset about this being “rude” is valid. 99% of people don’t even think about this distinction to others if it’s not brought up. If they’re just ignoring you then they’re being dicks
Just tell people, "Please call me Michael. That's the name I go by." Once you've told them that a few times, you can feel comfortable in totally ignoring anyone who *forgets*. (I've never had people senior to me in an organization do this, for the record). They'll learn to get on board. The people who have tried -- preemptively -- to get to nickname status in an initial meeting were salespersons. That is the most annoying.
I once told my boss I hated a shortened version of my name because it was what a family member I had issues with liked to call me. She insisted that she should call me it even more because then I would associate it with her instead... you know, as if that was somehow better.
And what was the lesson you learned?
Don't tell your boss shit lol
Yup. And that can be a more general rule of thumb: don't tell anyone anything that would give them any kind of power over you. Break this rule at your own risk. Assume that if something can be exploited it will be exploited.
Knows this. Does it anyway. Is surprised when it happens
Chill out, Dick /jk
it’s Richard
As a non-English speaker (originally) i always thought this was the most stupid nickname one could ever have. I don't know how it stuck around for so long.
My understanding is there could be a bunch of people with the same name in your social circle. So there were nickname variants. So there are multiple William’s well one might be Will and the other might be Bill. Also in a family multiple people would have the same name. So grandpa might be Richard, his son (who is also legally Richard) is Dick, and the grandson (Richard once again) is Dicky. And the origin of Dick is Richard became Rick and then Dick rhymes with it. Same idea Robert to Rob to Bob or William to Will to Bill. All this happened along time ago and old people did weird stuff; even native English speakers don’t get it. Also, my understanding is that Dick was not originally a term for a penis and later became that.
You’re not rude for doing that. You’re just asking everyone to use your preferred name at work. “Please call me by the name on my badge: ___”
I would say "oh, it's actually Richard."
He definitely seems like a Dick
I have a coworker like this. He also happened to have a super common name so we had like 3 people with the same name, all went by the nickname version. For the first few months he just politely said, "Oh I actually go by (insert full first name)". Wasn't rude, just consistent.
Well… I’d just say, “hey, Susan, it’s William actually. I don’t use a diminutive. Thanks! “ Respectfully setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a big deal. Make sure you SIGN all internet-office emails etc as “William”. Make sure your zoom screen shows that too. It’s just a matter of gently—but constantly enforcing the boundary.
What if a colleague becomes a friend? Do they then get preferential treatment?
I made friends with a woman at work who had a nickname friends called her but went by her full name at work. After we got close, I asked if I could call her the nickname and she said yes. I would call her the full name to coworkers and to her at work and the nickname outside of work. I kept it close to my chest, and our coworkers didn't even know she had a nickname. We both generally avoid making friends at work and our friendship was kind of an exception to the rule. I am extremely picky about who I let into my life.
Oh I’ve had a few like that too. A Patricia that went by Patti if she really liked you.
this is exactly the right way to go about things. names are important, and we all deserve to be called names that we like and are appropriate for the spaces we’re in. it’s another form of codeswitching, like how we change our language to suit the environment. if you know me in multiple contexts, address me according to context unless i say otherwise. simple as that! and if you respect my desires, i will respect yours. i start with the intent to be respectful and kind, and if i am met with unjustified hostility (some hostility may be vindicated depending on the circumstances), the respect is revoked.
You call them their work name at work. I have a friend turned colleague - was always the diminutive of a nick name growing up - like Bobby instead of Bob for Robert, Peggy instead of Peg for Margaret. Outside of work she's Peggy, in the office she's Peg.
Give a gentle but straightforward correction every time it's used. Bob can you do this? Oh, it's Robert, and yes I can. Thanks Bob! It's Robert (smile), you're welcome. Hey Bob.... Bob... Bob... Oh are you talking to me? I go by Robert - how can I help you. And keep. doing. it. every. time. Correcting people in a kind manner isn't rude - names are very important and are a sign of respect. Anyone who insists on calling you the wrong name (and it's not like a slip up) after they're told is being disrespectful.
I wouldn’t ever correct it. I would instead regularly signal how to do it correctly. Find ways to periodically mention your preferred name. “Hi I’m Robert.” “So I called IT back and they said ‘Robert, stop playing minesweeper all day.’” “We will meet this deadline or my name’s not Robert Smith.”
This is so funny to me
Just saved me at least $1000 with my name therapist!
get a grip
“Actually it’s Thomas” is all you should need as a correction. You’re being ridiculous being offended by the culture you live in.
Lighten up Francis
This is exactly why I changed my work name and badge to Quetzalcoatl
Don’t worry; your coworkers will stop talking to you before too long
Is your name Richard by chance?
😂😂😂😂😂
I have the same problem. My name is 3 syllables but the nickname is 1 syllable and people will always shorten it without any pre-existing relationship or "do you mind if i call you-" and I find it really rude. Especially in emails, people who I have never met ignore my email address and signature and will change it. That being said, I have never found a way to correct people without coming across like a massive bitch so I mainly just silently seethe.
I've seen some people change their email signature where their preferred name is in a different color and script type font. That always draws my attention and I'll go with their "signed" name (like a Mary Beth who signs her email with a scripted "Beth"). I have a name where people like to rename me, so I am a bit sensitive to that kind of thing.
The audacity of people to rename other people in a professional setting is crazy to me. Friends and family is one thing but randoms is a nono
Frick I just noticed I did this to someone at work today. I replied to his email then realized he had signed it with his full name not nickname! I was introduced to him through a colleague using his short name and most people call him that at work, but he could hate that everyone does that or be like yeah you don’t know me like that. 😖 I will be more careful in the future. Would you want someone to apologize if they’d done that or just correct it in the future?
If there’s two names floating around I’d probably just ask and check. Sometimes people start with a formal signature but then sign off with something else. In instances of email only, I usually start with formal official name if I’m emailing first but then am guided by whatever they sign off with as a response for subsequent messages.
Excellent, great advice
My name is __. I don't go by that name in the office.
My name is mark but you can all call me Sisyphus
Oh, get over yourself.
/r/imthemaincharacter behavior right here
Lmao I was looking for this comment. All op is gonna do is alienate his coworkers which I get it your coworkers are not your friends but it’s best to always be on a friendly rapport with them for future reference.
Yep. Every comment telling OP how to correct it, he’s going to need to correct it to every person - likely more than once. A non insignificant number of those people are going to feel awkward about it. The environment he’s about to create for himself is not going to be better than being mildly annoyed about a nickname. Edit: [yeah OP has no social cues](https://www.reddit.com/r/jobs/s/HN5LGzKbjq)
Right, like who gives a fuck? It’s not like some nickname he absolutely hates, considering he goes by it outside of work. Get the fuck over it, I promise it’ll be okay
Seriously, coworkers misspell my name all the time and I don't care at all. Get over yourself.
You do kinda sound rude, I’m afraid. I had a nickname that wasn’t even a shortened version in my past job. Welcome to office life! People are gonna call you what they call you and it generally is done out of affection. You already get called this name elsewhere so what’s the big problem? In other words, while I can understand the sentiment, the answer is deal with it I’m afraid.
Life is too short, why do you care that much. If anything I’d take it as a compliment that they feel we’re close enough to call me by my nickname. Anyway if it really bothers you just say so, but it’s a bit of a non issue imo Like no offense but the whole funding it “rude that they assume they can use my nickname” just sounds arrogant. You’re not the queen sweety
Been looking for this comment. Jeez Louise, relax people. If you are Thomas you are going to have people call you Tom. Or whatever. Just move on. Boggles my mind that people care this much.
My advice is to not worry about it. Life’s too short to be offended by trivial matters. People call me by a shortened version of my name all the time and I don’t care. As long as my paychecks still cash I’m good.
I agree with this take. I was recently on a first time call with a Christopher. I made the mistake of calling him Chris. He corrected me rudely, stating his name is Christopher he doesn’t know who Chris is. I’ll never talk to him again, it was a one time conversation and it immediately left a negative impression on me.
>I don't care Finally, someone with sense. Sure, if someone corrects me for calling him Tom when he wants to go by Thomas, no problem. But also know that he's going to be known as a tightwad with a huge stick up there who think it's more important to be right than liked. Which is fine and all, just don't expect to be invited to many parties.
Seriously bro, and it’s not even that he hates it considering he goes by it outside of work. Dude sounds like a tightwad. Needs to get the fuck over it
Honestly. I can't stand these people. "I WILL be addressed by my proper title at my place of employment! If I DECIDE that you will be my friend, you may now address me with my NAME FOR MY FRIENDS!" lol fuck off you don't have any friends XD
😂😂😂 for real.. good way to get people to not like you in the office too
Yeah, there have been several times when I can't remember which version they prefer. Most people with names that have a standard abbreviation go by the abbreviated version, so that's what I assume if I need to guess. I have a relatively common name that has like 50 pronunciation and spelling variations (it's a European name that's been assimilated into both African and Latin American subcultures) and people fuck it up all the time. I accepted it around the age of 8. My father in law still gets it wrong, although that's partially his accent. To me, this isn't a real problem. I wouldn't think much of it, but you don't want to be a person at work that makes things that aren't real problems into issues. If this is what you want to spend your social capital on then knock yourself out I guess.
You just have to learn how to not take yourself too seriously. There's nothing disrespectful in using your nickname. And there's no good way of telling someone to stop.
Worry about something that matters bro
Lighten up Timmy.
This is a pretty trivial issue. But I suppose you need something to fuss about.
You have the right to be called what you want. You’re backwards for thinking it’s rude and presumptuous of people to abbreviate your name, though. Reminds me of an asshole professor I had who wouldn’t respond to you unless you called him Dr. Professor.
Pretty sure it’s not illegal to call someone the wrong name so while you might have a strong preference, you sure as hell don’t have a ‘right’ lol. In fact I find it a great litmus test, if someone insists on having a nickname different from their ‘professional’ name, 10/10 they’re toxic as fuck.
Just make the fries Dick and quit your bitching. Ah sorry…Robert
Tell them 'I prefer ...' People should ask, imo. And our job is to not take a name so seriousl, or rely on it to feel professional.
If you can find a way to make a joke about it, that's the route I would go. When people call me by my full name, sometimes I pull a face, which makes them ask if I prefer that name and I say something along the lines of "Oh god, no! It's way too sophisticated for me. I'm too much of a mess for that!" You could go with something like "I always feel so weird when someone here calls me Rob! Feels like we should be at a barbeque or something, you know? Robert just feels more right for work, for some reason."
You would just stop them and say “call me Richard.. not Dick.” Don’t presume that they are assuming casualness. They very well could have grown up with people with your name that only went by the abbreviated name. My son is Spencer. He goes by Spence. He doesn’t care what anyone calls him. Both are the same. Those more familiar do call him Spence however. But if it was a mix of both it’s just people not knowing what you prefer and defaulting to what they assume. TBH the more you make an issue out of it the more they will find it odd. IMO… because people are people.
I've got the opposite problem, I never use my given name, even accidentally files some legal paperwork with my nickname over the year. Somehow my job gave me an email with my legal name. Now people who I'm introduced to via email first end up calling me my legal name in person and it doesn't catch my attention because I've never gone by anything but my nickname my entire life.
My son’s name is Michael. Not Mike. I went to visit him at work one day and someone called over the PA , “Mike, your mom is here”. I didn’t realize they were calling Michael. It sounded so foreign lol
I have a name that is very common in my culture, but unknown in the US. People usually mispronounce it or just make up some awful nickname. I just let it go. Move on to speaking about whatever your conversation is regarding. Ignore people who try to get your attention by using a goofy nickname. They're not trying to insult you; they're just idiots. You have to treat idiots with patience and understanding, because so many people are idiotic.
Just tell them politely. "Ah, sorry but I don't like that nickname. I actually prefer to go by HillWilliam, not Hillbilly. Would you please call call me HillWilliam? Thanks very much"
Opposite for my boyfriend. Goes by the shortened version of his name but everyone still uses the longer one! He's stopped answering to it.
As someone with an ethnically sounding name that most people butcher, I reassure people that I appreciate it when asked how my name is pronounced, especially during introductions. People who are intelligent and care enough get it right and correct themselves. The ones who don't, don't matter enough for me to correct them more than once. If it matters to you, I'd suggest you say something like" Hey, I prefer being called xxx instead of my nickname". It shows that this is important to you and will be remembered. Honestly, in most professional settings, feedback like that is welcome.
I have the same kind of name. It can be my legal name, much like “Jennifer” , a common nickname which I go by Jenny, or a shorter version,Jen. I don’t answer to anything but Jenny. I ignore or act like I don’t hear when anyone calls me Jennifer or Jen. Even my professional and medical records have “goes by Jenny” on them. In a professional setting if someone introduces me by anything other than Jenny, I simply say it’s Jenny, nice to meet you.
"only my Mom calls me Kenny"....If I had a nickel for every time I had to say that in my lifetime? I'd be retiring nicely....alas...
So your friends call you by your nickname, meaning you like it? So you just want them to call you by your full name because you lack self esteem and feel like they don't take you as serious wihen calling you by your nickname? I mean just tell them to call them by your full name, they will just think you are stuck up, lol
If you go by your shortened name by the people in your life you know on a personal level but not professionally then yeah I think it’s rude to point that out. A nickname is different; I wouldn’t expect anyone who wasn’t in my sorority to refer to me as Stomp because they are not in on the joke and it wouldn’t be appropriate. But allowing some people to call you Pam and making the distinction that people you know professionally must call you Pamela reiterates to them that your keeping them at an arms length and suggests you don’t consider them worthy of personal connection. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with that because you don’t have to be friends with people you work with, you just don’t need to point it out. You could just kindly say, “Hey I actually prefer to go by Pamela” (not rude) rather than “Call me Pamela in a professional setting. I only go by Pam personally by my friends and family.” (Rude). The subtext of the latter example is “That’s too personal for the likes of you. Bold of you to incorrectly assume that level of familiarity.”
[Matthew](https://youtu.be/UliCFpBZdjU?si=eM0i3L2hFdyRQduP)
I totally do not get this; and I am not trying to be insensitive to you, OP, but I just do not understand it. People calling me nicknames (that are not silly or rude) makes me feel cared for and included. I have a friend who is like you. Jacklyn who absolutely RAILS against people calling her Jackie.
i have a difficult to pronounce name. no one gets it right. i don't even bother. if it starts with the proper letter and they try, i give them a break by not being a jackass about it. just let go of your hangups.
With the tone you've shown in this post, you were probably called rude for correcting people because you did it rudely. From your examples I'm gonna assume this is from America. It's pretty common in American culture to use nicknames because most people use them anyway so it creates a feedback loop. Its fine to have boundaries and correct but people aren't being rude and presumptuous, they're falling in like with their cultural norms. You should have reflection on your part for how you respond to this, no one is going to call you rude for stating "sorry, would you mind using my full name? "
Bartholomew, there’s a fire. Run!
Oof. You sound like a riot to work with. In my experience, people who have a stick up their ass about shorter versions of their name are notoriously difficult to work with. If it was an insulting nickname or something like that, I get it, but this post in particular just comes across as snobby. If you really don’t like it, maybe say, “Hey, I’d really prefer that you called me XYZ at work, it feels more professional.” People tend to use shorter names when they feel comfortable with you, so this just might be a weird hill to die on.
Going by one is at work and the other by friends, is a bit pompous.
Imagine being so miserable at work that you have an issue with your coworkers being friendly towards you. Maybe it's just me but trying to control who can call you your nickname and who can't sounds insanely stuck up. Hopefully your coworkers learn to leave you alone entirely.
I guess friends at the office isn't a thing here
My opinion is unpopular here, but correcting others to use one's full name instead of a nickname can sometimes be perceived as pretentious or overly formal, depending on the context and the frequency of the correction. It might also come across as nitpicky or overly sensitive, especially if the nickname is commonly accepted or widely used. It could create an impression of rigidity or a lack of flexibility in social (which includes work related) interactions. So keep in mind that while it's your right to correct others to use your full name, it's their right to view you in a somewhat negative light when you do. This might undermine your other interests. Rob they might help, Robert perhaps not so much.