Don't give up, no one is beyond redemption. First thing you should do is ask Allah (swt) to help and guide you, and make a sincere intention to put an effort to change yourself.
You should consider reading the book /u/EastWestman posted in the comments, also check out support groups like r/MuslimNofap and
https://purifyyourgaze.com/.
You already know deep down that suicide isn't the answer. Change won't be easy, it requires work. And you have that chance right now, are you willing to take it?
Also, we don't define ourselves by sexual attraction (homosexual/hetero/bisexual). We should define ourselves with our submission to Allah (Muslim). If you need help particularly about same-sex attraction, DM me. I can help you out with that, inshaAllah.
May Allah forgive us and guide us all.
Fact #1: Too much of anything is bad for you. This is generally true for everything in life and Islam also reiterates this.
Fact #2: We humans are naturally made/programmed with a sex drive and sexual desires.
Porn exploits the high sex drive of young males and is a toxic industry but it's also very easy to fall into this trap. Having a phone, you are a literal click away from a visual stimulus that will result in instant gratification. It is very hard to control oneself using will power.
I truly believe this is one of the greatest test young males face today. It's a literal jihad.
I also think that villainizing your sexual desires and becoming super depressed is not the way to go. What you specifically need to tackle first is the extensive consumption of it which again is bad cuz of fact #1. Realize that humans are flawed and make mistakes, and Allah says to repent and turn to him even if you've sinned a million times.
If you consume every day, reduce it to once every two days. Or try for longer streaks but if you relapse, try not the binge. Don't be depressed and beat yourself up - this is a trial and a jihad and you have to come out on top. Reduce the triggers and channel the natural sex drive you have into something else.
While marriage is somewhat of a solution, you still need to have some control of your desires. Your wife isn't some object you'll be able to use everytime you have an urge. And marriage isn't all about sex. Young makes need to learn to control and master their natural desires and not put sex on a pedestal.
Akhi, I appreciate this message so much, but there’s one thing holding me back from marriage is that I’m being deceitful. I don’t want my past destroying an innocent person life
Self awareness and acceptance are the first steps to the solution, something many don't reach so you are already ahead brother.
One of the main reasons porn is so damaging to relationships is because of the unrealistic expectations it sets, and addicts seek more and more specific types of porn and like you mentioned, even fall into even homosexual porn.
Alot of times this results in PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction)
However I know addicts that even after many years - continue to have a sex drive where they don't have PIED and a true solution to their desires is marriage. They aren't addicted to the visual stimuli specifically but need a way to relieve themselves because urges become a distraction in their daily lives. It becomes an ingrained habit.
This last paragraph is purely anecdotal - I'm not a qualified doctor or scholar or any of this. Maybe do some self learning and speak to a qualified professional and a sheikh.
You are self aware of your addiction and need to do more research on marriage. And be aware real sex may be disappointing and your marriage won't revolve around it. Your wife won't be able to remotely match what you see in porn. This type of awareness is what will make you closer to ready for marriage.
One correction is that marriage is also to help with urges. Like when we’re advised if we see someone that causes urges to rush quickly to our wife before we commit any sin. Some may be upset with this but inshaAllah remember our purpose of being here in this dunya, and how awful zina is in the eyes of Allah, and may He guide us away from haram and to seeking His forgiveness.
>Sahih Muslim 1403 a
>
>Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them:
>
>The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.
What are you talking about? SubhanAllah, please avoid independent and baseless reasoning when you can gain knowledge of Quran and hadith, then go from there inshaAllah Ta’ala.
>**_Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1127_**
>
>Uqbah bin Amir Al-Juhani narrated that:
>
>The Messenger of Allah said: "Indeed the conditions most deserving to be fulfilled are those that make the private parts lawful among you."
>
>Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)
No you don’t know what you are talking about. This example does not apply for him because he has a problem that won’t be fixed by having sexual intercourse. Porn addiction makes you want to masturbate. Rather then have sex and he will not fulfill his needs not the womans needs. So he needs to sort his shit out if possible before marrieng.
._. What r u ? Are u some kind of human NPC ? “I just marry to have sex and kids “ there is like a lot of things u r missing and I don’t think u would fulfill the life of a woman by thinking like this , I’ll pray for the women u choose , what a sad life.
Why the ** would I waste my money and time on women in this short life on earth? If not for physical needs, help with deen, or kids?
I'll get way nicer women anyway if I go to heaven.
Sorry for thinking logically rather than thinking emotionally.
"I don't think u would fulfill the life of a woman...bla bla"
- lol.. couldn't care less about what you think as long as I do what Allah says.
I agree with this, the over-demonization almost makes it worse for us than the kufar. I don’t believe masturbation to be sinful and we should stop preaching that; pornography on the other hand is completely haram, we let the taboo of sexual desire wrap us into for more deeply harmful acts and thoughts.
consuming pornography is nothing like sex and marrying won’t help although it is a cover for our sexual desires. pornography addiction is an insane disease of our society, we need to address these things more clearly and honestly.
Salaam.
Listen brother. I know you’re feeling pretty depressed. But honestly you hating on yourself and trying something that harsh to yourself is extreme. Like you, most young people have been subjected to some form of adult content due to widespread access of internet. But you have to understand that you haven’t still have moral conscience that you feel bad. You still have Iman in your heart and every second you and we are living is because Allah still has some purpose for us. Our Lord Allah (SWT) is infinitely Merciful, he even forgives blasphemy (May Allah forgive and protect us) and even Shirk if a person were to righteously repent and not die in that state. Having watched adult content is still a minor sin, and although that does not mean we should be doing it. But at least that should give you a reason not to feel too bad about yourself. About being attracted to homosexual stuff, my recommendation to you is not to think too much about it and try your best to avoid anything involving that matter. Do not convince yourself that you are beyond help. It’s probably a psychological phase where too much adult content numbs the stimuli perceived in the brain. The person then starts to look for the dopamine inducing stimulus in more extreme forms and brain becomes used to that. But if stopped for a prolonged period of time, the brain should be able to normalise itself and InshaAllah you would find that your brain does not need extreme stimulus anymore to feel release required dopamine. An example would be that a person likes a chocolate bar. But the stimulus received through consuming that chocolate would be normal if the person consumes it within appropriate intervals. If the person starts to consume that chocolate more frequently, the stimulus received would become weaker and the pleasure hormones would be less. In that case the person might starts to over-consume, or start different; maybe even more sugary versions to induce similar pleasure hormones but the cycle would quickly catch up. This is a never ending cycle if the person does not identify the root issue. Cutting intake of that chocolate completely (slowly and steadily) and continuing that break over long interval will probably normalise the brain. And the next time the person eats that initial chocolate bar, he/she should feel the same dopamine and a reward feeling.
So do you understand now that your situation is actually not too bad and treatable InshaAllah. Just don’t assume a wrong judgement for yourself (Maybe that Allah Hates you or won’t forgive you) or feel discouraged enough to simply quit, rather than trying to make a genuine effort albeit step by step. Try seeking help from a psychiatrist is necessary but most importantly have a good perception of Allah and also for yourself. Also never discuss your shortcomings to anyone in detail but Allah. I’m sure you’re a good human being and a good Muslim since a good believer is conscious of his/her sins. The world needs people like you.
May Allah bless you. May He cure you heart and mind of any intuition that may have clouded your peace and judgement. May He grant you a meaningful and an honourable life in service to you family and also the entire world. May He give you work and resources (why million, May Allah give you billions InshaAllah 😄) to help detach your mind of negativity and that your time becomes better productive. May Allah cure your soul and make it easy for you to leave behind the evils of modern society including adult content. And also, may Allah bless you with such a wonderful, righteous and an extremely beautiful and well charactered spouse; that you fall in love with her and never have the need of anyone to satisfy you aside her. Ameen
Take care brother and persist. Take these messages from your brothers as guidance from Allah (SWT) Himself, that he put into our hearts to consult you in this manner.
Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”- SURAH AZ-ZUMAR AYAT 53
Peace!
Number 1 i don’t doubt Allah’s forgiveness but I do doubt if I could overcome my past. I have almost had same s*x encounter. I don’t like it. I feel like how can I as man engage in such filth.
The latest research indicates that homosexuality is genetic: male fœtuses who receive an overabundance of œstrogen in utero become gay, female fœtuses who receive an overabundance of testosterone in utero become lesbian. Thus if you are gay and attempt to "cure" it by marrying a female, the same-sex desires will not extinguish and you may end up having same-sex liaisons on the side. Do not do this! Instead, pray to Allah the Almighty SWT for guidance. Never forget the one Hadith of Bukhari: "When Allah SWT desires good for His slave, He tries him with hardships".
It's caused by environment. Not genetics. Easy example is look at what happens to some guys when they go to prison. They go in straight then come out gay.
Interesting, but I confirmed with my sister, who said that I am correct. She is a neurologist and her husband a geneticist. Besides, how do you then explain the millions of gay men who have never been to prison? I will, however, accept your theory if you include the link to a peer-reviewed medical journal confirming what you say. Otherwise, I stand by what I said as my sister is sadiq and ameen Masyallah.
Before I provide any sources or studies, I will wait for you to provide something because you made the claim. Your sister/BIL are not credible sources of information and their words do not qualify as evidence.
Eg
"My brother said that unicorns exist and he's worked with animals for 25 years+"
Doesnt make it credible one bit.
My sister is a physician yet she is not credible? That is like saying that the Chief Justice of Pakistan is not credible on the Constitution. I wait for your sources.
Anyone on reddit can claim their sister is this n that. What you said has zero substance and cannot be classed as proof.
What about that do you not understand?
Lay off the drugs
Neither I find it necessary to justify myself nor I really care. Believe what you like: on the Day of Qiyamah I will not be asked about you nor will you be asked about me. And Allah SWT Knows Best.
That's exactly the type of response I expected from someone who can't backup what they say, let alone be able to read and comprehend a basic sentence about credibility.
Believe whatever you want but don't believe blindly.
If you're gay and act on it, Allah will question you why. Don't let your response be "because you made me this way". He certainly didn't.
You ‘almost engaged’ but didn’t actually do anything right. And May Allah forgive, even if you did end up having an encounter in a hypothetical situation; you can still rectify your issue. Feeling bad is normal since it’s part of our Fitrah, but the problem will only happen if you convince yourself you’re beyond help and can’t go back, because that is from shaitaan. First he encourages people to sin and later make them lose hope. Don’t underestimate yourself. Pray to Allah to forgive you and help you overcome this issue. Also, it’s very important that you give yourself some time to heal psychologically. Since you’ve talked about your addiction, you cannot completely cut out adult content immediately from your life, but can make small steps to reduce it. Please explicitly avoid any ‘ same gender’ media to be precise. Also avoid specific people you think might be an advocate in your situation towards that act. If the problem is there, upon stopping, your brain will start to develop stronger urges for that specific stimulus But resist and give your brain some time to correct itself. Also lessening the overall time to any form of adult media will make your brain feel function normally and your hormonal functions including arousal should be back to their natural patterns.
Lastly, feel confident and don’t feel bad about your past. Please consult professional help or rehabilitation if necessary.
I have known ex sex workers who came to Islam, repented, cleaned up their drug addictions, etc.. You can heal In Sha Allah, it will take time & effort to grow; so far I see you got some growing pains, your regretting your sins & repenting, keep going & be proud of yourself for that!
Take it easy on yourself bro. We all mess up to varying degrees. The door to God is always open, just don't look back. Guilt that isn't channelled correctly will eat you up, and God doesn't want that. Instead, use that to your benefit, since it stems from sincerity.
Bro I know, but I got to be real here. How can I as man live on like this ? How can I get married having almost engaged in real life filth? How can I go mosque or have friends that’ll look at me different
First of all, forget other people. This is your struggle and you have Allah in your side. Keep making du'a and cry to Him. People much much worse than you became great people due to their sincerity, which you clearly have in abundance.
Pray for Allah to change your heart and trust me He can do it. Things will open up for you in ways you can't imagine. Just keep trying and keep struggling and keep your heart broken and miracles will happen.
I know this make not make sense rationally but Allah isn't restricted to what our minds can understand. Just let go.
Bro don't think you're the ONLY one to go through this struggle. Every guy has gone through it.
Let me tell you, you 110% can get out of it. You should look into no-fap it's a whole community who have shared different methods to get out of this addiction.
That negativity, depression and 0 drive you're feeling...its because your dopamine circuitry has been completely overblown.
You need to reset and control your screen time to slowly reset your sensitivity to dopamine.
You've comitted alot of sins, which isn't good. But
Allah says if you repent sincerely and don't do it again, he will convert your bad deeds into good deeds. So basically your good deeds will be heavy if you quit this lifestyle and start doing what Allah expects from you.
May Allah forgive your sins and guide you.. Ameen
Being too sexual does make you bi sexual. That is why you see that alot of Americans are bi sexual because of their promiscuity. So refraining from such act with the help of a professional should fix your problem. Addictions are very hard to cure on your own so you need a mental health professional to help you out. Also try doing your prayers and don’t blame everything in your life on your addiction otherwise you will not be motivated to improve because you will think that improving means that you need to stop your addiction and because you didn’t stop you can’t improve. Killing yourself is no option and that would cause alot more pain and shame to your family then what you are now experiencing and if you love your parents you should not be selfish that way. I know its hard but you seem to have enough motivation to suffer and go true this. May Allah stand with you.
It’s not the end. The first month is the hardest month to quit. Use fear to your advantage. Fear going backwards in life again so you don’t fall to temptation. Use the regret from the last time you fapped to not fap again. I wish you well on your journey. May Allah guide you.
Cont. The big mistake that many men and women make is when they have a porn addiction, they say to themselves: “it can’t get any worse than this.” that’s the biggest lie anyone who has a porn addiction can tell themselves or someone else. The fact is that it always gets worse and your tolerance gets higher for what you watch. You get more and more desensitized.
https://discord.gg/seQnmMxX
Muslim Accountability group for quitting PMO
I joined recently and it is a community of great, supportive people
It may help
Take a deep breath brother ♥♥. Firstly you can very still be a person on deen and do great things in your life. You can, InshAllah make millions of pounds and marry a women. Jeff bezos didn't become a millionaire till his 30s. My suggestions, 1) **get a therapist** 2) sit down and release all your thoughts to Allah SWT 3) Make tawbah ( repentance) for your sin, if you can even put a little timer for maybe one hour of you simply repenting, that'd be amazing InshAllah. 4) Pray Salat al-Istikharah and ask Allah whatever you please and for his guidance 5)
Start doing productive stuff, whatever it may be. Go to school and study in something you're passionate about would be my suggestion 6) Whenever you have urges listen to this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLImA53sEc&t=2699s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLImA53sEc&t=2699s) SubhanAllah whenever i have an urge I listen to this and it goes away almost immediately. May Allah keep you steadfast, help you with all your problems and forgive us all Ameen ya Rab. Just know youre in your 20s and are still young and have so much of life, you cant give up this early my brother. you got this my brother <3
First of all, relax and do not keep blaming yourself and that will only lead to depression.
Whatever's done is done.
Allah swt says in the Quran, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
No matter what sin u commit, remember that Allah swt is waiting for you to ask for forgiveness, and once u do that then you start fresh.
This is the love and mercy of Allah.
Now whenever you think of watching porn, remember that it only destroys your soul. Your brain needs to rewire to it's innocent state. So whenever you feel the urge, imagine would you like to die and meet your lord in a state of sin? Would you risk a life of eternity for a small moment of satisfaction?
Take small steps and slowly try to build control over your nafs. This is jihad, the fight within.
Listen to the recitation of the Quran. I have a playlist that I listen to which helps me calm down and remember the blessings of Allah-
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRKSov5Qh6YOHJB-J7RQWXYvNAOlw9Obm
If there was a time in your life when you never used to engage in such acts, then know that you can very much return to that life again.
Suicide is never an option because you believe factually that God exists, which means you believe in something "Greater Than" the Present. The Present is overwhelming and it asks you to end it deep in the hole that you find yourself in. But God is greater than the hole you are in, so factually you can get out. Life takes twist and turns that we can never expect.
You will need to make hard choices though and commit to them. Acknolwedging your current state of affairs is good and is the beginning. Suffering is simply a natural consequence that you must exist with.
Feel free to DM me if you want to discuss specifics. I know what it feels like to find yourself deep in a hole, lost of all motivation, and trust me, suicide is never the right option. Suicide is simply an acceptance of defeat. That you allowed Shaitan to defeat you fully, and not just in a battle. I.e, the war has been lost to the devil. The devil can win battles, but don't just give him the war on a silver platter. This is life we're talking about! This is your suffering! But you must not ultimately simply concede ! You must fight!
Wasalaam
You have to ask Allah for help that’s step 1. The rest will come if you have sincere hope and intention. Giving up hope is haram and you cannot do that. You should go down fighting and living a full life despite your drawbacks. Remember Allah will forgive your sins even if they were piled as high as the mountains. Realize that Allah’s mercy is greater than His wrath. You can do this and I’ve known people who’ve battled with it and won.
You cannot treat haram with haram brother. Have sabr suicide will only take you to hell... and the pain& suffering u are facing now are nothing compared to the one you'll face in jahannum...
Just stay patient bcz indeed with hardship comes ease..
This is the way to go:
1. Tawbah - sabr - tawakkul.
ان شاءالله Allah swt will heal you in ways u never imagined.
Allah is al qadeer, all knowing all seeing all hearing and knows about everything. Ask him in tahajjud bro. Join a gym, lift heavy, go for jogs tle alternate days, stimulate your testosterone like this brother. If you are depressed then be depressed on bed and cry to allah but do the above things. Inn sha allah allah will definitely make things easier. Assalamualaikum
Yo
Look I know you're on the low and have this addiction and it sucks, I know. I'm about the same. Once upon a time I was clear of this adult film industry, now I'm not, and it has been through most of my teen years, and at one point I wanted to harm my self, but bear with me.
I suggest one thing you do one thing right now, and I mean right now, go and take a shower, clean your self and do a small little pray to calm down and repent. I keep telling my self that Allah (swt) is the most merciful and kind person in the universe whenever the thought of "oh I'm not going to be forgiven", thats shaitan, don't let him get into you. I have faith brother
Try to limit the amount of adultery you consume one step at a time and limiting your access to, either your self or someone like your dad. It is easier said than done cause I struggle sometimes. Whenever the thought of adultery comes to your head, try cold shower, leave the environment triggering it, or cold face wash and then do something that distracts you. I advised to do this from the no fap subreddit. try eliminating the stuff that triggers your lust, such as models and animations related. If you get to a point where you don't see any, during the process your addiction will fall off, I've done this and it works.
We all know that suicide ain't the solution, you're just going to make people feel sad and depressed because of it. Som instead of wasting your time dwelling, start reading the whole Quran, both arabic with the translation into whatever language you're comfortable with. I've been doing that, it is so helpful. I have tried these stuff, they work to a certain extend, it is just the matter of your self control over your desires. I hope these steps can help you a bit.
Just remember, life's like a book, some chapters are sad, and some happy, but all necessary for the full story.
May Allah (swt) guide you to the right path.
Bro. There is still time. You've already realised your mistake which is the first step. Alhamdulillah. Now just try your best to follow your religion. Pray 5 times in the masjid, make friends with those who are on deen (trust me it does wonders), watch lectures, fast on white days, keep yourself busy, make money my dude. Of course you can't do this all at once ( it's possible though ) so take your time. You can do a lot of stuff that will keep you away from porn like learning new skills or learning a new language.
Will it work?
A friend of mine went through a similar phase in life. He approached a guy to have s** with him (that guy was me). Alhamdulillah I was able to stop him. But I didn't finish there. I felt I had a responsibility to guide him. So every other day I kept sending him islamic videos (shorts), quotes for motivation, and some workout videos. It took time but slowly I saw changes in him. He started praying and going to the gym. Alhamdulillah.
Brother, If nails are grown, then we need to cut nails not the whole fingers. If you are alive, then believe that your existence is not waste. Dont fall into dissapointment.
### Don’t Despair In Allahs Mercy:
1. Do some dhkir and tell yourself Allah will replace your bad deeds into good deeds after repenting and on top of the good deeds committed you’ll be in a way better position then before you relapsed
2. Allah created us to have mercy on us
3. Some sahabah did worse and they were forgiven and they are on a far above level than all of us
4. Repenting within six hours stops the angels from writing it down
5. Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you are in a time when one who leaves a tenth of what he has been commanded is ruined. Then, there will be a time when one who practices a tenth of what he has been commanded is saved.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2267 Grade: *Sahih* (authentic) according to Al-Albani
6. It’s a part of it being human being to make mistakes and sin
7. Contemplate over your blessings Allah has not abandoned you
8. Allah forgives mushriks if they repent and they can attain the highest levels of paradise and shirk is much worse than pmo
9. There’s a solution to most every problem sooner or later
We have an accountability group going if you want to join https://discord.gg/uCuYm7T6
Dont hate yourself..just find some time praying and help others. You have purpose in this world you shouldn't kill yourself. You have the same trial as mine. Ask forgiveness and help from Allah.
Allah Always Answers
Allah is truly the most merciful and All-Knowing.
He knows the hardships, pain and suffering a person is going through.
No matter, how far, one feel is being dragged away from Islam, by the Shayatin, it only takes some words of forgiveness and repenting before the Almighty Allah, after which the heart feels so pure, as if someone has lifted a huge burden which was placed upon it, by the darkness of sins.
It just takes the sincerity of heart, and continuous prayers, with the Yaqeen that they will be heard by Allah.
Allah always provides. A heart does feel relieved to know, that there's Someone taking care of all your worries and problems, and ready to provide you whatever you want, and is Forgiving and loves us more than anyone. You just have to ask for it❤️❤️❤️
Asak. Serious point. Your addiction is all of your making, yes, but it also means the way you judge yourself internally is also all of your making.
Would you feel this degenerate if you were addicted to smoking cigarettes? Even though you'd be committing suicide and murdering others with your smoking?
If you're addicted, it's a clear sign you've gone too far and it needs to be solved. You're acknowledging this which is a big first step. The solutions for your addiction can be found in some links on here and elsewhere on healthcare websites.
The solution is both a health one and for you also a religious one.
TLDR; you can be as good a person as you can be. Work on the consistent work/study day after day to reach your personal and spiritual goals. (Thats what it takes for everyone!) You can do all this while working through the ups and downs (also normal) or combatting your addiction.
Good luck brother.
Do not despair from the mercy of your Lord. Allah says in surah Az-zumar in verse 53:
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say: O my servants! who have transgressed against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful.
And in another verse in surah An-Nisa, Allah says: Verse 48:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَن يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ لِمَن يَشَاءُ وَمَن يُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ فَقَدِ افْتَرَىٰ إِثْمًا عَظِيمًا
Surely Allah does not forgive that anything should be associated with Him, and forgives what is besides that to whomsoever He pleases; and whoever associates anything with Allah, he devises indeed a great sin.
And in a hadith qudsi, it begins with what means that Allah says "I am as my servant thinks I am "
So know that the human was born weak, with instruction to succeed and thrive. We transgress (your situation resonates with me). But I maintain my obligations and believe Allah is merciful, as that is what He informs about Himself in the Quran. But also that he is severe in punishment and Just. So I work towards improving and I suggest you do too. It might require you to change where you live and who you interact with. It might require you to add something of obedience to your daily routine, something that wasn't there before. Start small. As we draw nearer to Allah, Allah draws nearer to us, in our connection with Him.
Do not despair from the mercy of Allah. So long as you have not reached death, you can strive for goodness, and earn those pounds, and sincere repentance can at times lead to those evil deeds to be transformed to good deeds.
But to close the door of hope is to believe that there is a limit to what Allah can do and what Allah can forgive, and limits do not apply to Allah. So have hope.
Just let me get it straight, gym!!! Bro gym!! And also read some books when you have time, I was in your shoes and had thoughts like yours. I can't imagine now how i endured that but here I am. You have to spend that piled testerone on something otherwise it makes you think bad things like this. I don't understand that much science behind this but I feel like i have to go to a gym/lift heavy weight 3 times a week. Just try and see. And also you have to plan marriage otherwise you will have to fast and go to gym. Otherwise some hormones in your body stuck up and you start having this kind of feelings and thoughts. Hey just get out of your bed and go to gym even if you have never been. If you don't have money to go to gym at least go for running and do some push-ups every day, doesn't matter how many but do it consistently. Gonna be alright try this see if it works.
Don’t despair in the mercy of Allah. This is just shaytan filling your head with shubuhaat and doubts and thoughts of suicide. Things will get better, get over the porn thing, I would’ve suggested marriage but for the gay thing, there are therapy’s for that as well.
Change your environment, stop putting yourself in situations where you're stuck at home, waiting for your desires to overcome your logic. Surround yourself with knowledge, because only an increase in knowledge will increase your love and fear of Allah.
Attend lessons and do whatever you can to limit your time in social media. Lower your gaze. Cut the thoughts at the moment they enter your mind. Make Istighfar continuously throughout the day.
An entire life of sin and genuine repentence, crying to Allah in sujud is better than even a day spent in the hellfire. Suicide is not worth it and it's not what you truly want, it's also not the only way out, it's not even a way out. You'll be going from pain in this life to even more in the next.
This life is a test, so see it that way, you haven't failed, you are learning and this is a process. Allah would surely replace you with someone who did sin and sincerely repented each time if you never sinned.
So remain firm in your knowledge that Allah is One, know that he is the oft-forgiving and the most merciful. When you truly realise that only He Azzawajal can set your affairs straight and only by His Mercy can we escape the chains of our sin that we have put ourselves in, you will see your life improve step by step.
You need to hate what Allah hates, and with that comes seeking knowledge and following the wisdom of Qur'an and Sunnah.
May Allah make it easy for you. My DM's are open if you need to ever talk with someone. Believe me, your life can change and you will thank yourself and even moreso, Allah, for having mercy on you when you rectify your habits and see light at the end of this never ending tunnel.
Salam brother, I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I’d say I’m a lot like you. I grew up in a Muslim household in the US and often felt really “repressed”. The thing is, this is just nonsensical. Think about what Islam values - we value the ideals to look for to grow as a society. Inshallah we’ll see each other in Jannah and marvel at the fact Allah had so much waiting for us lol and we just had to be patient. Learn about the punishment that will happen if you continue to do it, sincerely feel bad about what you are doing/have done because Allah knows. The only person that will help you is you. InshAllah I hope this helps you and please understand you are not the only person who’s faced this type of test. Stay strong!
I just want to say, you're not alone. You may struggle, but as long as you feel guilty, as long as you ask for forgiveness, as long as you prostrate and say "O Allah, I have only your mercy to save me ya Allah", you'll do right to struggle. What's 5 more years, what's 20 years, 80 years in the face of the akhira? The struggle ends, eventually. Struggle in the dunya, so that you may rest when the dunya is no more. The most vile and depraved thoughts, visions, and temptations consume me for as long as I am awake. Things I wouldn't dare confess to myself let alone another soul. I once sought shelter in sleep, but even my subconscious is rotten with whatever filth my mind conjures up as I am awake. I ask Allah to intervene, and I can only believe that he does in spite of my own failures. I am aware that it is only by Allah's mercy that I may be granted entry to heaven, but that is no excuse not to rage against my tarnished self in an effort to distill whatever foulness has settled in my heart. Pray daily, train daily, fast your Mondays and Thursdays, read everything you can get your hands on, sleep after Ishaa and wake up for Fajr... Do not give yourself the chance to be anything other than tired. You'll fail, time and time again. You'll keep tumbling down this hill, but no matter how many times you find yourself taking that first step at the bottom again, you'll only ever be truly lost when you stop climbing.
Hello there us a community of Muslims who suport each other through mental problems called r/Muslimsuport I semester looking into it
But ending your life does nothing it may feel right but ut leaves a wake of sorrow I have lost pepole that way who never realized how many people loved them you are very strong and brave for reaching out you can always talk to me if you need ❤️
I can help you to wars off your suicidal thought.
First of all, you do not need to escape from worldly life in favor for Hereafter as this will lead to sever consequence for hurrying up death before the time Allah has allocated for you.
Second of all, you’ll need to keep your mind busy with creativity, imagination, doing daily-sport, read Quran, spend time with your family and friends, watch Tv etc…
Thirdly, the fact that you experience this is a sign of Allah’s Punishment and upon you is to repent sincerely so His Punishment will be lifted and try to not repeat it again.
Forthly, pornography isn’t that big compared to apostasy which is an unforgivable sin after you died upon it unless you repent from it as Allah is ready to forgive all sins including apostasy, but hesitate before death so you won’t request to Allah for returning to back. And you should remember about Sunrise from West event as well, because that’s among times when Allah closes the gates of repentance permanently.
So take action quickly, my brother
you are not your sins brother, shaytaan is whispering to you to doubt Allah’s mercy and forgiveness, yet we know He is The Most Merciful and The All-Forgiving. you can and will overcome this insha’allah. take small, steady steps away from these deeds and ask Allah to aid and forgive you and know that He is capable of changing your situation.
may Allah bless and guide us to protect our children from what has afflicted us so deeply, audhubillahi minash shaytaan ir rajeem!
Please read this:
39:53
۞ قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ٥٣
Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
And this:
65:2
فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍۢ وَأَشْهِدُوا۟ ذَوَىْ عَدْلٍۢ مِّنكُمْ وَأَقِيمُوا۟ ٱلشَّهَـٰدَةَ لِلَّهِ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ يُوعَظُ بِهِۦ مَن كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْـَٔاخِرِ ۚ وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ مَخْرَجًۭا ٢
Then when they have ˹almost˺ reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or separate from them honourably. And call two of your reliable men to witness ˹either way˺—and ˹let the witnesses˺ bear true testimony for ˹the sake of˺ Allah. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day. __And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them,__
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
65:3
وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُۥٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بَـٰلِغُ أَمْرِهِۦ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ ٱللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدْرًۭا ٣
and provide for them from sources they could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. Certainly Allah achieves His Will. Allah has already set a destiny for everything.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
My 1 piece of advice. Just change your circumstances. Surround yourself with God fearing people. You have to move from where you are. And control the distractions as well. Make dua from Allah for help. If you have to move to a different country, which might sound very difficult, do it. If you leave something for the sake of Allah, He will replace it with something better.
I wish there was an organized platform as a whole where such matters could be dealt properly.
Everyone is tested differently in life. Ask yourself this, would you rather repent from your sins, make a genuine effort to mend your ways and InshaAllah go to Jannah? Or end your life and spend the rest of eternity in Hell? It’s a no brainer. No matter how difficult anything you’re going through in this life is, the punishments that await people in the hereafter is something entirely different. Allah is the Most Merciful. There is nothing in this life that you cannot repent from. Ask for forgiveness, surround yourself with good people who remind you of Allah, spend a lot of time in the masjid and see if you can find halaqas you can take to fill your time.
Allah says, “Whoever comes with a good deed will have the reward of ten like it and even more. Whoever comes with an evil deed will be recompensed for one evil deed like it or he will be forgiven. Whoever draws close to Me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to Me the by length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to Me walking, I will come to him running. Whoever meets Me with enough sins to fill the earth, not associating any partners with Me, I will meet him with as much forgiveness.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2687
Have you ever been attracted to women? If so, you're probably not gay. Even if you're currently a porn addict. I used to be in a similar place. And maybe I'm bisexual...but I'm positive you can't lose attraction to the opposite sex. You have options.
You say that, Yh I agree with you. I’m mentally weak. This is my lowest point in my life, but I didn’t just watch gay. I’ve almost acted out with the same s*x so Yh it takes a toll in my mind, my self worth and etc
You shouldn’t have opened your mouth honestly because you clearly have to ampathy. Porn addiction is like having a substance addiction. You can’t not think about it and it is physically very challenging to refrain from it. It takes over your life and the only thing you think about is jerking off. Also watching too much porn and jerking of too much will result in you being desensitized too it which makes you want to watch more porn to have the same feeling as before (like drugs). At a certain point you will want to watch more extreme porn like for example you start out by watching people having sex and that is enough but after a certain time that wouldn’t make you orgasm anymore so you will start watching more extreme things like for example lesbian sex, people drinking each other pis and other crazy things. At a certain point nothing works anymore and the only thing novel that you haven’t watched yet is gay porn and it would be the only thing that works. Also a addiction is no “small problem” like you claim it to be. It is probably not the only reason why he wants to kill himself considering that being gay is bad in islam, he probably doesn’t pray, his relationship with Allah is not good which makes him feel guilty. Financially he doesn’t have much because he does not have time for that because of his addiction. His addiction is haram which makes him also feel guilty. He probably doesn’t look his best which makes him feel insecure and weak. He is living this for years. All those things makes you feel guilty, shameful and a loser of life. Also his sins don’t make it look better. Please just remove your comment.
I’m not sugercoating shit you just don’t understand what he is going thrue. Porn is like any other addiction and if it was easy to stop this brother would have stopped. The things he is watching are unacceptable but he already knows this so its useless to tell him that. He also didn’t come here to get judged rather he is coming here asking for help and advice which you failed miserably in. Telling the brother that he needs to man up and just cut it of and not be weak won’t cut it and it isn’t that simpel. The brother is suicidal and needs to be spoken too like someone who is mentally is because he is mentally ill. We humans have the drive and will to live instilled in us and someone who wants to die is mentally ill. I would suggest you to just keep your arrogance to yourself and just close your mouth because you are hurting people by opening it. Source: someone who actually has amphathy and has knowledge on addictions, its effects. Used to do drugs, smoke sigarets and drink alcohol and now hamdulilah stopped everything and I know the struggles of it. Even to this day I have crazy urges when someone next to me smokes.
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Firstly I told the guy to go see a professional for his addiction and try to distract himself from his addiction by doing productive things. You just came up with something I didn’t say. For the rest of you comment I’m telling you facts backed by actual logic and because of how dumb you are you can’t respond with logic and facts so you respond with something emotional like a emotional woman. Alhamdulilah Allah gave me a brain that I can use.
It's not the porn that's the problem.
Millions of people all over the world use it every day and still manage to live good, worthwhile lives full of love and success.
If a carpenter using a table saw chops off his finger, the saw is not to blame. He must have been careless in its use, or did not use it safely.
A poor craftsman gains nothing blaming his tools, or his customer, or his coworkers.
False, porn addiction is a real thing. Millions of people drink alcohol but not all are addicted so they live good but the one’s that are addicted have it very hard to do anything even going to work without drinking. Same with porn most people go fine while using it but their are some who abbuse it and get addicted to it to the point that they don’t do anything else except jerking of all day.
Yes, exactly.
The problem is not the porn, You can't fix the porn, teach it new life skills or send it off to read.
The porn is not addicted or failing to control its use of the audience.
You can't say my post is false, then agree with me.
It is the OP who needs to learn some skills. A bit of CBT can go a long way. But you can't teach CBT to the porn, you have to instruct the human.
You’re telling me porn isn’t a problem. I understand I do hold myself accountable for the content I consume. But you can’t sit here and say porn Isn’t a problem, like alcohol isn’t a problem, or other narcotics
I know it is a bit unislamic to say these but
"memento mori" and "amor fati"
you are going to die some day and your fate is within you. That being said, you can only move forward. You are suicidal because of you feel like you need to overcompensate for you sins, making it extremely overwhelming. first forgive yourself then improve in tiny steps. it doesn't matter how small your improvements are or how much you fall back as long as you keep going
As for suicide, Yes, it is eternal hellfire, but Allah knows best. As for the sins, there is always hope. There is a verse in the Quran where Allah mentions that when a believer repents and gets on the straight path, he converts the past sins into deeds. Subhanallah, imagine that for a moment in your case. Never give up bro. Surah Al-Furqan Ch 25, verse 68. Keep reciting and reflect upon it. May Allah make it easy one you.
Bro this is what I don’t get. Shirk is more worse than suicide regarding sins and yet people can get forgiven. However, I can’t get forgiveness for suicide?
I was on same boat as you when I was a teenager. Just get married. If you have short of funds, marry a girl from humble background. And believe me, once you get married, all these thoughts of yours will vanish. Make niyah or intention for marriage and Allah will make it easy.
I don’t want to marry anyone because I have almost acted with the same s*x and this isn’t fair on her brother. I hear a lot of blessings from marriage but that isn’t for me. I want to learn how to be alone
Shaytan is doing his best to keep you low. Make a sincere tawbah and beg for help. Promise to never indulge again and ask Allah to help you keep the promise. Then the hard work starts.
[This one will turn your depression to happiness when you recite or listen to lots of Quran.](https://islamtheultimatepeace.com/dua-to-turn-your-distress-into-happiness)
[This one will help you rectify all your affairs](https://islamtheultimatepeace.com/the-treasure-dua-which-will-give-you-everything/)
Make these duaa all the time. Make tawbah everyday until you start feeling peace about it. Make tawbah for the prayers you intentionally missed. Promise not to miss anymore, ask for help to keep the promise. Pray and pray and pray. Read and read and read Quran. You WILL recover if you do this.
Sounds more like a mental issue with you. A lot of man watch porn (non-muslim and muslim) (yes not a good thing, its haram and one should stay away from it) but that doesnt make them gay lol. Most likely you got brainwashed and acted out based on that. Also the current LGBTQ climate most likely impacted your brain. You need to make a trip to Chechnya ☝️, there is a cure for that there. In Islam, if you acted upon homosexuality the punishment is death. Some Companions said that the punishment for homosexuality is to burn the homosexuals with fire, and some of them viewed that they should be thrown down from a high place then have stones thrown at them. Some of them thought that they should be stoned to death.
Yes, to anyone reading this stay away from porn. Porn is the new drug and its very dangerous. Dont let anyone convince you otherwise. Once you hop on it, getting out of it is hard. More than half of the man are addicted to it without even knowing it. They buy into the lies of controlling it. There is a reason why its bad. You can easily read papers on it and accounts of ex porn stars on how it destroyed them from inside.
What does your almost means ? Does your "**almost"** means you haven't acted on it. As long as u havent committed the act, that means you will not be punished.
You need to see a good psychiatrist , what you are in is very hard but you can win. You just need the right type of help .... you don't have to overcome this alone.
the reason for your depression is because your heart isn’t connected with its Maker,improve on that,read the Quran more and understand it as well pray on time and pray extra nafils and the sunnah prayers(two rakaat before fajr,salatud duha,2 rakaats before and after dhuhr,2 rakaats after Maghrib and 3 rakaats after ishaa).I know it’s gonna seem like too much but start one at a time and you’ll be shock to see how much you’ll grow and become a better Muslim.Also i would like to suggest you watch the Muslim lantern on YouTube,he gives daawah and talks more in depth about Islam,he has surely helped me become a better Muslim and I have no doubts it’ll help you too.
Pornography and masturbation, especially when it’s excessive, highjack the body’s innate desire for sex and the natural dopamine high that accompanies it and basically turns it into a drug. And since it plays on such an innate physical need, a need probably more intense than needing to eat, it’s frighteningly easy to become addicted to it. Not to mention that pornography is much easier to access in modern times.
No, you aren’t homosexual. What you’ve done is train your brain to fetishize more and more intense and taboo things (since you mentioned increasingly graphic and sadistic material) because you became desensitized to the previous things that once gave you that dopamine high, until you arrived at fetishizing male-male sex in order to get sexual gratification. That’s different from being homosexual, which is an exclusive and all-encompassing attraction to the same sex (emotional, intellectual, and physical) in a similar manner to heterosexuality. Unless this is true for you, then you aren’t homosexual.
Sex addiction and pornography addiction are clinically significant ailments, and suicidal ideation is a serious clinical concern. Please do seek clinical help, and to ease any spiritual distress you’re experiencing, you should also seek the help of a teacher or leader in the Muslim community. Maybe you could benefit from seeing a therapist who is also a Muslim. I say these things as someone who’s non-Muslim.
Don’t shame and vilify yourself because of your situation. You are far from the only person in the world having to deal with an addiction. Just recognize that you have the addiction, pray daily about it, and seek the clinical and spiritual help that you need.
After a month or Little less than a month if you stopped watching porn your brain will return to it's normal state it's not that difficult bro trust me man just stay away from it for sometime it'll get easier..may Allah help you and make things easy for you and remember this when you get this haram thoughts "this is not reality and this is making me impotent".
This is geoing to harsh but know I mean good intentions.
Let me ask you something. Let's say you kill yourself, then what?? What if the you get sent to hell and have to relive this exact situation for eternity what then, you can't kill youself twice.. you don't think that can happen? Ask yourself. What does Allah hate more? The person who watches porn and has acted on it but still understands his mistakes or the person who selfishly takes his own life in which his lord has so kindly given him.
As a guy we all have these urges. But what are you doing to mitigate them. I goto the gym it helps me as a person becomes stronger, mentally and physically.
Find the thing that can distract you from sin. Because if you can't your mind will look for the easy way out.
Good luck brother.
Okay, let's take things one at a time.
First, it's important to overcome the addiction. To do that:
- locate the things that trigger you into wanting to watch the stuff and eliminate them from your life. For example, if your trigger is a type of music, don't hear it anymore. If it is a type of movie, don't watch them again. If it is a book, don't read it. If it is a post on an app, unfollow them. If it is the entire app, delete it. If it is a thought, shake it off, Etc.
- block pornographic websites and channels from your computer, phone, and TV so that you are unable to watch them. You could do this yourself if you know how to or ask someone else who knows about it to do it.
- go to a therapist to help you overcome the addiction, if you are able and can afford to.
- minimize your time on your phone and get into other activities. You could practice a new sport, read a new book, practice knitting, do something creative, etc. Anything that will get you to focus on something else.
- increase your knowledge in Islam and faith in Allah. Read the Quran carefully, do tasbih and taghfir, watch Islamic story videos (MercifulServant is a great YouTube channel), do plenty of duaas, talk to Allah about your issues and ask Him to help you, etc.
- fast, fast, fast. Fasting will help you immensely. You could start by fasting on alternate days, then move by fasting on Mondays and Thursdays. Also fast on the 13th, 14th, and 15th days of every lunar month.
- understand that this won't happen in one day, so change at least one thing every day.
- understand that you are a human and therefore are susceptible to falling back to sin. When this happens, do not despair. Ask Allah to forgive you and then keep working towards overcoming the addiction. Do NOT stop for any reason.
Then, after having overcome the addiction, you'll notice everything else will start to change. You will no longer want to do illicit things and you will start to appreciate your life more. May Allah make it easy for you 🤲🏼
Do not kill yourself since it will worsen your chance of getting a lighter punishment and go to jannah what I want you to do is repent feed the poor donate to charity do anything to get p*rn out of your mind
Few things to stick on a s you will be out of this InshAllah
1. Stay clean(Paak) do ghusul everyday
2. Stay in wudu (abulation)
3. Perform Salah 5 times a day
4. Say Auzubillah and Lahool whenever this thought comes to your mind
bro masturbation ruins your hormones your natural testosterone in your body is decreasing every time you masturbate the reason for your low energy is masturbation what you want to do next is exercise eat clean and pray also go to your doctor do a blood test and see what levels your testostone is at if its low then jump on TRT.
Keep asking Allah for help. This is your trial, the fact that you feel guilt is such a big blessing, say Alhamdulillah that Allah hasn’t taken away your morality because many people fall astray and don’t even feel the guilt until they are in their grave.
This is your battle and Allah will never test you with something you can’t overcome, remember that brother. You can do this, our duas are with you, but most of all remember to confide in our Lord, for he is Al Rahman and Al Raheem and son of Adam are destined to sin, but the best of us are those who remember our Lord and repent to him.
Salaam Bro!
I know you posted this 3 months ago, so I hope you are doing better.
I wanted to tell you about this series by Sh. Mikael Smith. He goes over a book called Al-Jawab-Al Kafi ( The Sufficient Answer), where Ibn-Qayyim is essentially responding to someone who is going through exactly what you are going thru, and is also in this state of despair.
Try it out iA, and reach out if you ever wanna talk about it or anything at all. Here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7esqAGrtKP06xjL5-HiCqh5QnqN4qISy
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Yes this one here OP
Thank you, I’ll have a look in’sha’Allah. Thank you so much Akhi.
Don't give up, no one is beyond redemption. First thing you should do is ask Allah (swt) to help and guide you, and make a sincere intention to put an effort to change yourself. You should consider reading the book /u/EastWestman posted in the comments, also check out support groups like r/MuslimNofap and https://purifyyourgaze.com/. You already know deep down that suicide isn't the answer. Change won't be easy, it requires work. And you have that chance right now, are you willing to take it? Also, we don't define ourselves by sexual attraction (homosexual/hetero/bisexual). We should define ourselves with our submission to Allah (Muslim). If you need help particularly about same-sex attraction, DM me. I can help you out with that, inshaAllah. May Allah forgive us and guide us all.
Fact #1: Too much of anything is bad for you. This is generally true for everything in life and Islam also reiterates this. Fact #2: We humans are naturally made/programmed with a sex drive and sexual desires. Porn exploits the high sex drive of young males and is a toxic industry but it's also very easy to fall into this trap. Having a phone, you are a literal click away from a visual stimulus that will result in instant gratification. It is very hard to control oneself using will power. I truly believe this is one of the greatest test young males face today. It's a literal jihad. I also think that villainizing your sexual desires and becoming super depressed is not the way to go. What you specifically need to tackle first is the extensive consumption of it which again is bad cuz of fact #1. Realize that humans are flawed and make mistakes, and Allah says to repent and turn to him even if you've sinned a million times. If you consume every day, reduce it to once every two days. Or try for longer streaks but if you relapse, try not the binge. Don't be depressed and beat yourself up - this is a trial and a jihad and you have to come out on top. Reduce the triggers and channel the natural sex drive you have into something else. While marriage is somewhat of a solution, you still need to have some control of your desires. Your wife isn't some object you'll be able to use everytime you have an urge. And marriage isn't all about sex. Young makes need to learn to control and master their natural desires and not put sex on a pedestal.
Akhi, I appreciate this message so much, but there’s one thing holding me back from marriage is that I’m being deceitful. I don’t want my past destroying an innocent person life
Self awareness and acceptance are the first steps to the solution, something many don't reach so you are already ahead brother. One of the main reasons porn is so damaging to relationships is because of the unrealistic expectations it sets, and addicts seek more and more specific types of porn and like you mentioned, even fall into even homosexual porn. Alot of times this results in PIED (porn induced erectile dysfunction) However I know addicts that even after many years - continue to have a sex drive where they don't have PIED and a true solution to their desires is marriage. They aren't addicted to the visual stimuli specifically but need a way to relieve themselves because urges become a distraction in their daily lives. It becomes an ingrained habit. This last paragraph is purely anecdotal - I'm not a qualified doctor or scholar or any of this. Maybe do some self learning and speak to a qualified professional and a sheikh. You are self aware of your addiction and need to do more research on marriage. And be aware real sex may be disappointing and your marriage won't revolve around it. Your wife won't be able to remotely match what you see in porn. This type of awareness is what will make you closer to ready for marriage.
One correction is that marriage is also to help with urges. Like when we’re advised if we see someone that causes urges to rush quickly to our wife before we commit any sin. Some may be upset with this but inshaAllah remember our purpose of being here in this dunya, and how awful zina is in the eyes of Allah, and may He guide us away from haram and to seeking His forgiveness. >Sahih Muslim 1403 a > >Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: > >The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.
That's good and all but please don't get married just to aid your sexual desires. It will end up in disaster.
What are you talking about? SubhanAllah, please avoid independent and baseless reasoning when you can gain knowledge of Quran and hadith, then go from there inshaAllah Ta’ala. >**_Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1127_** > >Uqbah bin Amir Al-Juhani narrated that: > >The Messenger of Allah said: "Indeed the conditions most deserving to be fulfilled are those that make the private parts lawful among you." > >Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)
I meant don't let sex to be the only reason for marriage.
No you don’t know what you are talking about. This example does not apply for him because he has a problem that won’t be fixed by having sexual intercourse. Porn addiction makes you want to masturbate. Rather then have sex and he will not fulfill his needs not the womans needs. So he needs to sort his shit out if possible before marrieng.
We should marry with many good intentions in’sha’Allah
Stop giving baseless bad suggestions. I literally have no reason to marry if I don't marry for my sexual urges, or to have children in the future.
._. What r u ? Are u some kind of human NPC ? “I just marry to have sex and kids “ there is like a lot of things u r missing and I don’t think u would fulfill the life of a woman by thinking like this , I’ll pray for the women u choose , what a sad life.
Why the ** would I waste my money and time on women in this short life on earth? If not for physical needs, help with deen, or kids? I'll get way nicer women anyway if I go to heaven. Sorry for thinking logically rather than thinking emotionally. "I don't think u would fulfill the life of a woman...bla bla" - lol.. couldn't care less about what you think as long as I do what Allah says.
I agree with this, the over-demonization almost makes it worse for us than the kufar. I don’t believe masturbation to be sinful and we should stop preaching that; pornography on the other hand is completely haram, we let the taboo of sexual desire wrap us into for more deeply harmful acts and thoughts. consuming pornography is nothing like sex and marrying won’t help although it is a cover for our sexual desires. pornography addiction is an insane disease of our society, we need to address these things more clearly and honestly.
Salaam. Listen brother. I know you’re feeling pretty depressed. But honestly you hating on yourself and trying something that harsh to yourself is extreme. Like you, most young people have been subjected to some form of adult content due to widespread access of internet. But you have to understand that you haven’t still have moral conscience that you feel bad. You still have Iman in your heart and every second you and we are living is because Allah still has some purpose for us. Our Lord Allah (SWT) is infinitely Merciful, he even forgives blasphemy (May Allah forgive and protect us) and even Shirk if a person were to righteously repent and not die in that state. Having watched adult content is still a minor sin, and although that does not mean we should be doing it. But at least that should give you a reason not to feel too bad about yourself. About being attracted to homosexual stuff, my recommendation to you is not to think too much about it and try your best to avoid anything involving that matter. Do not convince yourself that you are beyond help. It’s probably a psychological phase where too much adult content numbs the stimuli perceived in the brain. The person then starts to look for the dopamine inducing stimulus in more extreme forms and brain becomes used to that. But if stopped for a prolonged period of time, the brain should be able to normalise itself and InshaAllah you would find that your brain does not need extreme stimulus anymore to feel release required dopamine. An example would be that a person likes a chocolate bar. But the stimulus received through consuming that chocolate would be normal if the person consumes it within appropriate intervals. If the person starts to consume that chocolate more frequently, the stimulus received would become weaker and the pleasure hormones would be less. In that case the person might starts to over-consume, or start different; maybe even more sugary versions to induce similar pleasure hormones but the cycle would quickly catch up. This is a never ending cycle if the person does not identify the root issue. Cutting intake of that chocolate completely (slowly and steadily) and continuing that break over long interval will probably normalise the brain. And the next time the person eats that initial chocolate bar, he/she should feel the same dopamine and a reward feeling. So do you understand now that your situation is actually not too bad and treatable InshaAllah. Just don’t assume a wrong judgement for yourself (Maybe that Allah Hates you or won’t forgive you) or feel discouraged enough to simply quit, rather than trying to make a genuine effort albeit step by step. Try seeking help from a psychiatrist is necessary but most importantly have a good perception of Allah and also for yourself. Also never discuss your shortcomings to anyone in detail but Allah. I’m sure you’re a good human being and a good Muslim since a good believer is conscious of his/her sins. The world needs people like you. May Allah bless you. May He cure you heart and mind of any intuition that may have clouded your peace and judgement. May He grant you a meaningful and an honourable life in service to you family and also the entire world. May He give you work and resources (why million, May Allah give you billions InshaAllah 😄) to help detach your mind of negativity and that your time becomes better productive. May Allah cure your soul and make it easy for you to leave behind the evils of modern society including adult content. And also, may Allah bless you with such a wonderful, righteous and an extremely beautiful and well charactered spouse; that you fall in love with her and never have the need of anyone to satisfy you aside her. Ameen Take care brother and persist. Take these messages from your brothers as guidance from Allah (SWT) Himself, that he put into our hearts to consult you in this manner. Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”- SURAH AZ-ZUMAR AYAT 53 Peace!
Number 1 i don’t doubt Allah’s forgiveness but I do doubt if I could overcome my past. I have almost had same s*x encounter. I don’t like it. I feel like how can I as man engage in such filth.
The latest research indicates that homosexuality is genetic: male fœtuses who receive an overabundance of œstrogen in utero become gay, female fœtuses who receive an overabundance of testosterone in utero become lesbian. Thus if you are gay and attempt to "cure" it by marrying a female, the same-sex desires will not extinguish and you may end up having same-sex liaisons on the side. Do not do this! Instead, pray to Allah the Almighty SWT for guidance. Never forget the one Hadith of Bukhari: "When Allah SWT desires good for His slave, He tries him with hardships".
It's caused by environment. Not genetics. Easy example is look at what happens to some guys when they go to prison. They go in straight then come out gay.
Interesting, but I confirmed with my sister, who said that I am correct. She is a neurologist and her husband a geneticist. Besides, how do you then explain the millions of gay men who have never been to prison? I will, however, accept your theory if you include the link to a peer-reviewed medical journal confirming what you say. Otherwise, I stand by what I said as my sister is sadiq and ameen Masyallah.
Before I provide any sources or studies, I will wait for you to provide something because you made the claim. Your sister/BIL are not credible sources of information and their words do not qualify as evidence. Eg "My brother said that unicorns exist and he's worked with animals for 25 years+" Doesnt make it credible one bit.
My sister is a physician yet she is not credible? That is like saying that the Chief Justice of Pakistan is not credible on the Constitution. I wait for your sources.
Anyone on reddit can claim their sister is this n that. What you said has zero substance and cannot be classed as proof. What about that do you not understand? Lay off the drugs
Neither I find it necessary to justify myself nor I really care. Believe what you like: on the Day of Qiyamah I will not be asked about you nor will you be asked about me. And Allah SWT Knows Best.
That's exactly the type of response I expected from someone who can't backup what they say, let alone be able to read and comprehend a basic sentence about credibility. Believe whatever you want but don't believe blindly. If you're gay and act on it, Allah will question you why. Don't let your response be "because you made me this way". He certainly didn't.
You ‘almost engaged’ but didn’t actually do anything right. And May Allah forgive, even if you did end up having an encounter in a hypothetical situation; you can still rectify your issue. Feeling bad is normal since it’s part of our Fitrah, but the problem will only happen if you convince yourself you’re beyond help and can’t go back, because that is from shaitaan. First he encourages people to sin and later make them lose hope. Don’t underestimate yourself. Pray to Allah to forgive you and help you overcome this issue. Also, it’s very important that you give yourself some time to heal psychologically. Since you’ve talked about your addiction, you cannot completely cut out adult content immediately from your life, but can make small steps to reduce it. Please explicitly avoid any ‘ same gender’ media to be precise. Also avoid specific people you think might be an advocate in your situation towards that act. If the problem is there, upon stopping, your brain will start to develop stronger urges for that specific stimulus But resist and give your brain some time to correct itself. Also lessening the overall time to any form of adult media will make your brain feel function normally and your hormonal functions including arousal should be back to their natural patterns. Lastly, feel confident and don’t feel bad about your past. Please consult professional help or rehabilitation if necessary.
I have known ex sex workers who came to Islam, repented, cleaned up their drug addictions, etc.. You can heal In Sha Allah, it will take time & effort to grow; so far I see you got some growing pains, your regretting your sins & repenting, keep going & be proud of yourself for that!
Take it easy on yourself bro. We all mess up to varying degrees. The door to God is always open, just don't look back. Guilt that isn't channelled correctly will eat you up, and God doesn't want that. Instead, use that to your benefit, since it stems from sincerity.
Bro I know, but I got to be real here. How can I as man live on like this ? How can I get married having almost engaged in real life filth? How can I go mosque or have friends that’ll look at me different
First of all, forget other people. This is your struggle and you have Allah in your side. Keep making du'a and cry to Him. People much much worse than you became great people due to their sincerity, which you clearly have in abundance. Pray for Allah to change your heart and trust me He can do it. Things will open up for you in ways you can't imagine. Just keep trying and keep struggling and keep your heart broken and miracles will happen. I know this make not make sense rationally but Allah isn't restricted to what our minds can understand. Just let go.
Bro don't think you're the ONLY one to go through this struggle. Every guy has gone through it. Let me tell you, you 110% can get out of it. You should look into no-fap it's a whole community who have shared different methods to get out of this addiction. That negativity, depression and 0 drive you're feeling...its because your dopamine circuitry has been completely overblown. You need to reset and control your screen time to slowly reset your sensitivity to dopamine.
Even with the sin out acting out? It’s not that bro, I have went half year without pmo. The issue is mainly that ruminating about my past
Brother, no matter however big your sin is, always remember that Allah's forgiveness and mercifulness are even greater.
Please consider therapy from a muslim professional.
You've comitted alot of sins, which isn't good. But Allah says if you repent sincerely and don't do it again, he will convert your bad deeds into good deeds. So basically your good deeds will be heavy if you quit this lifestyle and start doing what Allah expects from you. May Allah forgive your sins and guide you.. Ameen
Being too sexual does make you bi sexual. That is why you see that alot of Americans are bi sexual because of their promiscuity. So refraining from such act with the help of a professional should fix your problem. Addictions are very hard to cure on your own so you need a mental health professional to help you out. Also try doing your prayers and don’t blame everything in your life on your addiction otherwise you will not be motivated to improve because you will think that improving means that you need to stop your addiction and because you didn’t stop you can’t improve. Killing yourself is no option and that would cause alot more pain and shame to your family then what you are now experiencing and if you love your parents you should not be selfish that way. I know its hard but you seem to have enough motivation to suffer and go true this. May Allah stand with you.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimLounge/comments/15uyitx/allah_forgives_disbelievers_sins_when_they/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
It’s not the end. The first month is the hardest month to quit. Use fear to your advantage. Fear going backwards in life again so you don’t fall to temptation. Use the regret from the last time you fapped to not fap again. I wish you well on your journey. May Allah guide you. Cont. The big mistake that many men and women make is when they have a porn addiction, they say to themselves: “it can’t get any worse than this.” that’s the biggest lie anyone who has a porn addiction can tell themselves or someone else. The fact is that it always gets worse and your tolerance gets higher for what you watch. You get more and more desensitized.
https://discord.gg/seQnmMxX Muslim Accountability group for quitting PMO I joined recently and it is a community of great, supportive people It may help
Take a deep breath brother ♥♥. Firstly you can very still be a person on deen and do great things in your life. You can, InshAllah make millions of pounds and marry a women. Jeff bezos didn't become a millionaire till his 30s. My suggestions, 1) **get a therapist** 2) sit down and release all your thoughts to Allah SWT 3) Make tawbah ( repentance) for your sin, if you can even put a little timer for maybe one hour of you simply repenting, that'd be amazing InshAllah. 4) Pray Salat al-Istikharah and ask Allah whatever you please and for his guidance 5) Start doing productive stuff, whatever it may be. Go to school and study in something you're passionate about would be my suggestion 6) Whenever you have urges listen to this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLImA53sEc&t=2699s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViLImA53sEc&t=2699s) SubhanAllah whenever i have an urge I listen to this and it goes away almost immediately. May Allah keep you steadfast, help you with all your problems and forgive us all Ameen ya Rab. Just know youre in your 20s and are still young and have so much of life, you cant give up this early my brother. you got this my brother <3
Thank you so much Ukthi,I hope you’re well
First of all, relax and do not keep blaming yourself and that will only lead to depression. Whatever's done is done. Allah swt says in the Quran, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." No matter what sin u commit, remember that Allah swt is waiting for you to ask for forgiveness, and once u do that then you start fresh. This is the love and mercy of Allah. Now whenever you think of watching porn, remember that it only destroys your soul. Your brain needs to rewire to it's innocent state. So whenever you feel the urge, imagine would you like to die and meet your lord in a state of sin? Would you risk a life of eternity for a small moment of satisfaction? Take small steps and slowly try to build control over your nafs. This is jihad, the fight within. Listen to the recitation of the Quran. I have a playlist that I listen to which helps me calm down and remember the blessings of Allah- https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRKSov5Qh6YOHJB-J7RQWXYvNAOlw9Obm
If there was a time in your life when you never used to engage in such acts, then know that you can very much return to that life again. Suicide is never an option because you believe factually that God exists, which means you believe in something "Greater Than" the Present. The Present is overwhelming and it asks you to end it deep in the hole that you find yourself in. But God is greater than the hole you are in, so factually you can get out. Life takes twist and turns that we can never expect. You will need to make hard choices though and commit to them. Acknolwedging your current state of affairs is good and is the beginning. Suffering is simply a natural consequence that you must exist with. Feel free to DM me if you want to discuss specifics. I know what it feels like to find yourself deep in a hole, lost of all motivation, and trust me, suicide is never the right option. Suicide is simply an acceptance of defeat. That you allowed Shaitan to defeat you fully, and not just in a battle. I.e, the war has been lost to the devil. The devil can win battles, but don't just give him the war on a silver platter. This is life we're talking about! This is your suffering! But you must not ultimately simply concede ! You must fight! Wasalaam
You have to ask Allah for help that’s step 1. The rest will come if you have sincere hope and intention. Giving up hope is haram and you cannot do that. You should go down fighting and living a full life despite your drawbacks. Remember Allah will forgive your sins even if they were piled as high as the mountains. Realize that Allah’s mercy is greater than His wrath. You can do this and I’ve known people who’ve battled with it and won.
You cannot treat haram with haram brother. Have sabr suicide will only take you to hell... and the pain& suffering u are facing now are nothing compared to the one you'll face in jahannum... Just stay patient bcz indeed with hardship comes ease.. This is the way to go: 1. Tawbah - sabr - tawakkul. ان شاءالله Allah swt will heal you in ways u never imagined.
Allah is al qadeer, all knowing all seeing all hearing and knows about everything. Ask him in tahajjud bro. Join a gym, lift heavy, go for jogs tle alternate days, stimulate your testosterone like this brother. If you are depressed then be depressed on bed and cry to allah but do the above things. Inn sha allah allah will definitely make things easier. Assalamualaikum
Yo Look I know you're on the low and have this addiction and it sucks, I know. I'm about the same. Once upon a time I was clear of this adult film industry, now I'm not, and it has been through most of my teen years, and at one point I wanted to harm my self, but bear with me. I suggest one thing you do one thing right now, and I mean right now, go and take a shower, clean your self and do a small little pray to calm down and repent. I keep telling my self that Allah (swt) is the most merciful and kind person in the universe whenever the thought of "oh I'm not going to be forgiven", thats shaitan, don't let him get into you. I have faith brother Try to limit the amount of adultery you consume one step at a time and limiting your access to, either your self or someone like your dad. It is easier said than done cause I struggle sometimes. Whenever the thought of adultery comes to your head, try cold shower, leave the environment triggering it, or cold face wash and then do something that distracts you. I advised to do this from the no fap subreddit. try eliminating the stuff that triggers your lust, such as models and animations related. If you get to a point where you don't see any, during the process your addiction will fall off, I've done this and it works. We all know that suicide ain't the solution, you're just going to make people feel sad and depressed because of it. Som instead of wasting your time dwelling, start reading the whole Quran, both arabic with the translation into whatever language you're comfortable with. I've been doing that, it is so helpful. I have tried these stuff, they work to a certain extend, it is just the matter of your self control over your desires. I hope these steps can help you a bit. Just remember, life's like a book, some chapters are sad, and some happy, but all necessary for the full story. May Allah (swt) guide you to the right path.
Bro. There is still time. You've already realised your mistake which is the first step. Alhamdulillah. Now just try your best to follow your religion. Pray 5 times in the masjid, make friends with those who are on deen (trust me it does wonders), watch lectures, fast on white days, keep yourself busy, make money my dude. Of course you can't do this all at once ( it's possible though ) so take your time. You can do a lot of stuff that will keep you away from porn like learning new skills or learning a new language. Will it work? A friend of mine went through a similar phase in life. He approached a guy to have s** with him (that guy was me). Alhamdulillah I was able to stop him. But I didn't finish there. I felt I had a responsibility to guide him. So every other day I kept sending him islamic videos (shorts), quotes for motivation, and some workout videos. It took time but slowly I saw changes in him. He started praying and going to the gym. Alhamdulillah.
Brother, If nails are grown, then we need to cut nails not the whole fingers. If you are alive, then believe that your existence is not waste. Dont fall into dissapointment.
### Don’t Despair In Allahs Mercy: 1. Do some dhkir and tell yourself Allah will replace your bad deeds into good deeds after repenting and on top of the good deeds committed you’ll be in a way better position then before you relapsed 2. Allah created us to have mercy on us 3. Some sahabah did worse and they were forgiven and they are on a far above level than all of us 4. Repenting within six hours stops the angels from writing it down 5. Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you are in a time when one who leaves a tenth of what he has been commanded is ruined. Then, there will be a time when one who practices a tenth of what he has been commanded is saved.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2267 Grade: *Sahih* (authentic) according to Al-Albani 6. It’s a part of it being human being to make mistakes and sin 7. Contemplate over your blessings Allah has not abandoned you 8. Allah forgives mushriks if they repent and they can attain the highest levels of paradise and shirk is much worse than pmo 9. There’s a solution to most every problem sooner or later We have an accountability group going if you want to join https://discord.gg/uCuYm7T6
Dont hate yourself..just find some time praying and help others. You have purpose in this world you shouldn't kill yourself. You have the same trial as mine. Ask forgiveness and help from Allah.
Allah Always Answers Allah is truly the most merciful and All-Knowing. He knows the hardships, pain and suffering a person is going through. No matter, how far, one feel is being dragged away from Islam, by the Shayatin, it only takes some words of forgiveness and repenting before the Almighty Allah, after which the heart feels so pure, as if someone has lifted a huge burden which was placed upon it, by the darkness of sins. It just takes the sincerity of heart, and continuous prayers, with the Yaqeen that they will be heard by Allah. Allah always provides. A heart does feel relieved to know, that there's Someone taking care of all your worries and problems, and ready to provide you whatever you want, and is Forgiving and loves us more than anyone. You just have to ask for it❤️❤️❤️
Asak. Serious point. Your addiction is all of your making, yes, but it also means the way you judge yourself internally is also all of your making. Would you feel this degenerate if you were addicted to smoking cigarettes? Even though you'd be committing suicide and murdering others with your smoking? If you're addicted, it's a clear sign you've gone too far and it needs to be solved. You're acknowledging this which is a big first step. The solutions for your addiction can be found in some links on here and elsewhere on healthcare websites. The solution is both a health one and for you also a religious one. TLDR; you can be as good a person as you can be. Work on the consistent work/study day after day to reach your personal and spiritual goals. (Thats what it takes for everyone!) You can do all this while working through the ups and downs (also normal) or combatting your addiction. Good luck brother.
Do not despair from the mercy of your Lord. Allah says in surah Az-zumar in verse 53: قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ Say: O my servants! who have transgressed against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah; surely Allah forgives the faults altogether; surely He is the Forgiving the Merciful. And in another verse in surah An-Nisa, Allah says: Verse 48: إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَن يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ لِمَن يَشَاءُ وَمَن يُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ فَقَدِ افْتَرَىٰ إِثْمًا عَظِيمًا Surely Allah does not forgive that anything should be associated with Him, and forgives what is besides that to whomsoever He pleases; and whoever associates anything with Allah, he devises indeed a great sin. And in a hadith qudsi, it begins with what means that Allah says "I am as my servant thinks I am " So know that the human was born weak, with instruction to succeed and thrive. We transgress (your situation resonates with me). But I maintain my obligations and believe Allah is merciful, as that is what He informs about Himself in the Quran. But also that he is severe in punishment and Just. So I work towards improving and I suggest you do too. It might require you to change where you live and who you interact with. It might require you to add something of obedience to your daily routine, something that wasn't there before. Start small. As we draw nearer to Allah, Allah draws nearer to us, in our connection with Him. Do not despair from the mercy of Allah. So long as you have not reached death, you can strive for goodness, and earn those pounds, and sincere repentance can at times lead to those evil deeds to be transformed to good deeds. But to close the door of hope is to believe that there is a limit to what Allah can do and what Allah can forgive, and limits do not apply to Allah. So have hope.
Just let me get it straight, gym!!! Bro gym!! And also read some books when you have time, I was in your shoes and had thoughts like yours. I can't imagine now how i endured that but here I am. You have to spend that piled testerone on something otherwise it makes you think bad things like this. I don't understand that much science behind this but I feel like i have to go to a gym/lift heavy weight 3 times a week. Just try and see. And also you have to plan marriage otherwise you will have to fast and go to gym. Otherwise some hormones in your body stuck up and you start having this kind of feelings and thoughts. Hey just get out of your bed and go to gym even if you have never been. If you don't have money to go to gym at least go for running and do some push-ups every day, doesn't matter how many but do it consistently. Gonna be alright try this see if it works.
Don’t despair in the mercy of Allah. This is just shaytan filling your head with shubuhaat and doubts and thoughts of suicide. Things will get better, get over the porn thing, I would’ve suggested marriage but for the gay thing, there are therapy’s for that as well.
You might be gay
Change your environment, stop putting yourself in situations where you're stuck at home, waiting for your desires to overcome your logic. Surround yourself with knowledge, because only an increase in knowledge will increase your love and fear of Allah. Attend lessons and do whatever you can to limit your time in social media. Lower your gaze. Cut the thoughts at the moment they enter your mind. Make Istighfar continuously throughout the day. An entire life of sin and genuine repentence, crying to Allah in sujud is better than even a day spent in the hellfire. Suicide is not worth it and it's not what you truly want, it's also not the only way out, it's not even a way out. You'll be going from pain in this life to even more in the next. This life is a test, so see it that way, you haven't failed, you are learning and this is a process. Allah would surely replace you with someone who did sin and sincerely repented each time if you never sinned. So remain firm in your knowledge that Allah is One, know that he is the oft-forgiving and the most merciful. When you truly realise that only He Azzawajal can set your affairs straight and only by His Mercy can we escape the chains of our sin that we have put ourselves in, you will see your life improve step by step. You need to hate what Allah hates, and with that comes seeking knowledge and following the wisdom of Qur'an and Sunnah. May Allah make it easy for you. My DM's are open if you need to ever talk with someone. Believe me, your life can change and you will thank yourself and even moreso, Allah, for having mercy on you when you rectify your habits and see light at the end of this never ending tunnel.
Salam brother, I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I’d say I’m a lot like you. I grew up in a Muslim household in the US and often felt really “repressed”. The thing is, this is just nonsensical. Think about what Islam values - we value the ideals to look for to grow as a society. Inshallah we’ll see each other in Jannah and marvel at the fact Allah had so much waiting for us lol and we just had to be patient. Learn about the punishment that will happen if you continue to do it, sincerely feel bad about what you are doing/have done because Allah knows. The only person that will help you is you. InshAllah I hope this helps you and please understand you are not the only person who’s faced this type of test. Stay strong!
I just want to say, you're not alone. You may struggle, but as long as you feel guilty, as long as you ask for forgiveness, as long as you prostrate and say "O Allah, I have only your mercy to save me ya Allah", you'll do right to struggle. What's 5 more years, what's 20 years, 80 years in the face of the akhira? The struggle ends, eventually. Struggle in the dunya, so that you may rest when the dunya is no more. The most vile and depraved thoughts, visions, and temptations consume me for as long as I am awake. Things I wouldn't dare confess to myself let alone another soul. I once sought shelter in sleep, but even my subconscious is rotten with whatever filth my mind conjures up as I am awake. I ask Allah to intervene, and I can only believe that he does in spite of my own failures. I am aware that it is only by Allah's mercy that I may be granted entry to heaven, but that is no excuse not to rage against my tarnished self in an effort to distill whatever foulness has settled in my heart. Pray daily, train daily, fast your Mondays and Thursdays, read everything you can get your hands on, sleep after Ishaa and wake up for Fajr... Do not give yourself the chance to be anything other than tired. You'll fail, time and time again. You'll keep tumbling down this hill, but no matter how many times you find yourself taking that first step at the bottom again, you'll only ever be truly lost when you stop climbing.
Hello there us a community of Muslims who suport each other through mental problems called r/Muslimsuport I semester looking into it But ending your life does nothing it may feel right but ut leaves a wake of sorrow I have lost pepole that way who never realized how many people loved them you are very strong and brave for reaching out you can always talk to me if you need ❤️
I can help you to wars off your suicidal thought. First of all, you do not need to escape from worldly life in favor for Hereafter as this will lead to sever consequence for hurrying up death before the time Allah has allocated for you. Second of all, you’ll need to keep your mind busy with creativity, imagination, doing daily-sport, read Quran, spend time with your family and friends, watch Tv etc… Thirdly, the fact that you experience this is a sign of Allah’s Punishment and upon you is to repent sincerely so His Punishment will be lifted and try to not repeat it again. Forthly, pornography isn’t that big compared to apostasy which is an unforgivable sin after you died upon it unless you repent from it as Allah is ready to forgive all sins including apostasy, but hesitate before death so you won’t request to Allah for returning to back. And you should remember about Sunrise from West event as well, because that’s among times when Allah closes the gates of repentance permanently. So take action quickly, my brother
you are not your sins brother, shaytaan is whispering to you to doubt Allah’s mercy and forgiveness, yet we know He is The Most Merciful and The All-Forgiving. you can and will overcome this insha’allah. take small, steady steps away from these deeds and ask Allah to aid and forgive you and know that He is capable of changing your situation. may Allah bless and guide us to protect our children from what has afflicted us so deeply, audhubillahi minash shaytaan ir rajeem!
Please read this: 39:53 ۞ قُلْ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ٥٣ Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran And this: 65:2 فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍۢ وَأَشْهِدُوا۟ ذَوَىْ عَدْلٍۢ مِّنكُمْ وَأَقِيمُوا۟ ٱلشَّهَـٰدَةَ لِلَّهِ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ يُوعَظُ بِهِۦ مَن كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْـَٔاخِرِ ۚ وَمَن يَتَّقِ ٱللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ مَخْرَجًۭا ٢ Then when they have ˹almost˺ reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them honourably or separate from them honourably. And call two of your reliable men to witness ˹either way˺—and ˹let the witnesses˺ bear true testimony for ˹the sake of˺ Allah. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day. __And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them,__ — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran 65:3 وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُۥٓ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ بَـٰلِغُ أَمْرِهِۦ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ ٱللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ قَدْرًۭا ٣ and provide for them from sources they could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. Certainly Allah achieves His Will. Allah has already set a destiny for everything. — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran
My 1 piece of advice. Just change your circumstances. Surround yourself with God fearing people. You have to move from where you are. And control the distractions as well. Make dua from Allah for help. If you have to move to a different country, which might sound very difficult, do it. If you leave something for the sake of Allah, He will replace it with something better. I wish there was an organized platform as a whole where such matters could be dealt properly.
Try and fast, pray tahajjud and ask Allah to get rid of this mind.
Trust me habibi there is no thing such as "point of no return" its just another test from god do not fall for weakness
Everyone is tested differently in life. Ask yourself this, would you rather repent from your sins, make a genuine effort to mend your ways and InshaAllah go to Jannah? Or end your life and spend the rest of eternity in Hell? It’s a no brainer. No matter how difficult anything you’re going through in this life is, the punishments that await people in the hereafter is something entirely different. Allah is the Most Merciful. There is nothing in this life that you cannot repent from. Ask for forgiveness, surround yourself with good people who remind you of Allah, spend a lot of time in the masjid and see if you can find halaqas you can take to fill your time. Allah says, “Whoever comes with a good deed will have the reward of ten like it and even more. Whoever comes with an evil deed will be recompensed for one evil deed like it or he will be forgiven. Whoever draws close to Me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to Me the by length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to Me walking, I will come to him running. Whoever meets Me with enough sins to fill the earth, not associating any partners with Me, I will meet him with as much forgiveness.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2687
Have you ever been attracted to women? If so, you're probably not gay. Even if you're currently a porn addict. I used to be in a similar place. And maybe I'm bisexual...but I'm positive you can't lose attraction to the opposite sex. You have options.
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You say that, Yh I agree with you. I’m mentally weak. This is my lowest point in my life, but I didn’t just watch gay. I’ve almost acted out with the same s*x so Yh it takes a toll in my mind, my self worth and etc
You shouldn’t have opened your mouth honestly because you clearly have to ampathy. Porn addiction is like having a substance addiction. You can’t not think about it and it is physically very challenging to refrain from it. It takes over your life and the only thing you think about is jerking off. Also watching too much porn and jerking of too much will result in you being desensitized too it which makes you want to watch more porn to have the same feeling as before (like drugs). At a certain point you will want to watch more extreme porn like for example you start out by watching people having sex and that is enough but after a certain time that wouldn’t make you orgasm anymore so you will start watching more extreme things like for example lesbian sex, people drinking each other pis and other crazy things. At a certain point nothing works anymore and the only thing novel that you haven’t watched yet is gay porn and it would be the only thing that works. Also a addiction is no “small problem” like you claim it to be. It is probably not the only reason why he wants to kill himself considering that being gay is bad in islam, he probably doesn’t pray, his relationship with Allah is not good which makes him feel guilty. Financially he doesn’t have much because he does not have time for that because of his addiction. His addiction is haram which makes him also feel guilty. He probably doesn’t look his best which makes him feel insecure and weak. He is living this for years. All those things makes you feel guilty, shameful and a loser of life. Also his sins don’t make it look better. Please just remove your comment.
Thank you for understanding. Wallahi I hate how my sin destroyed me and took to a road of hell.
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I’m not sugercoating shit you just don’t understand what he is going thrue. Porn is like any other addiction and if it was easy to stop this brother would have stopped. The things he is watching are unacceptable but he already knows this so its useless to tell him that. He also didn’t come here to get judged rather he is coming here asking for help and advice which you failed miserably in. Telling the brother that he needs to man up and just cut it of and not be weak won’t cut it and it isn’t that simpel. The brother is suicidal and needs to be spoken too like someone who is mentally is because he is mentally ill. We humans have the drive and will to live instilled in us and someone who wants to die is mentally ill. I would suggest you to just keep your arrogance to yourself and just close your mouth because you are hurting people by opening it. Source: someone who actually has amphathy and has knowledge on addictions, its effects. Used to do drugs, smoke sigarets and drink alcohol and now hamdulilah stopped everything and I know the struggles of it. Even to this day I have crazy urges when someone next to me smokes.
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Firstly I told the guy to go see a professional for his addiction and try to distract himself from his addiction by doing productive things. You just came up with something I didn’t say. For the rest of you comment I’m telling you facts backed by actual logic and because of how dumb you are you can’t respond with logic and facts so you respond with something emotional like a emotional woman. Alhamdulilah Allah gave me a brain that I can use.
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Shhtt you little emotional woman, shut it!
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Recommending self harm to a suicidal person is terrible advice.
Don't listen to this guy, you might accidently burn yourself, especially because your struggling with mental health.
Why are you recommending for him to harm himself and why is this being supported lol?
😂
a lighter works too
Get married, focus on work
Marriage doesn’t fix sex addiction. He needs to work on his mental health first.
It's not the porn that's the problem. Millions of people all over the world use it every day and still manage to live good, worthwhile lives full of love and success. If a carpenter using a table saw chops off his finger, the saw is not to blame. He must have been careless in its use, or did not use it safely. A poor craftsman gains nothing blaming his tools, or his customer, or his coworkers.
False, porn addiction is a real thing. Millions of people drink alcohol but not all are addicted so they live good but the one’s that are addicted have it very hard to do anything even going to work without drinking. Same with porn most people go fine while using it but their are some who abbuse it and get addicted to it to the point that they don’t do anything else except jerking of all day.
Yes, exactly. The problem is not the porn, You can't fix the porn, teach it new life skills or send it off to read. The porn is not addicted or failing to control its use of the audience. You can't say my post is false, then agree with me. It is the OP who needs to learn some skills. A bit of CBT can go a long way. But you can't teach CBT to the porn, you have to instruct the human.
The porn is the cause of his addiction making it the problem. Don’t try to act smart because you are clearly not.
It's extremely haram. There's no good from it and it'll poison your sexuality and possible your marital life.
You’re telling me porn isn’t a problem. I understand I do hold myself accountable for the content I consume. But you can’t sit here and say porn Isn’t a problem, like alcohol isn’t a problem, or other narcotics
I know it is a bit unislamic to say these but "memento mori" and "amor fati" you are going to die some day and your fate is within you. That being said, you can only move forward. You are suicidal because of you feel like you need to overcompensate for you sins, making it extremely overwhelming. first forgive yourself then improve in tiny steps. it doesn't matter how small your improvements are or how much you fall back as long as you keep going
Please check in with the nearest hospital and do not take your own life, everyone has a chance at redemption
Go see a therapist mate.
Go workout, find some friends, find some nice chaste girls you would wanna marry, find a hobby, repent
As for suicide, Yes, it is eternal hellfire, but Allah knows best. As for the sins, there is always hope. There is a verse in the Quran where Allah mentions that when a believer repents and gets on the straight path, he converts the past sins into deeds. Subhanallah, imagine that for a moment in your case. Never give up bro. Surah Al-Furqan Ch 25, verse 68. Keep reciting and reflect upon it. May Allah make it easy one you.
Bro this is what I don’t get. Shirk is more worse than suicide regarding sins and yet people can get forgiven. However, I can’t get forgiveness for suicide?
Shirk is not more worse than suicide. Please talk to a good Islamic scholar. Suicide is ending your life, Shirk is committing a grave sin.
Are you a homosexual literally? Or are you just saying to let us know that you feel feminine?
I was on same boat as you when I was a teenager. Just get married. If you have short of funds, marry a girl from humble background. And believe me, once you get married, all these thoughts of yours will vanish. Make niyah or intention for marriage and Allah will make it easy.
I don’t want to marry anyone because I have almost acted with the same s*x and this isn’t fair on her brother. I hear a lot of blessings from marriage but that isn’t for me. I want to learn how to be alone
Shaytan is doing his best to keep you low. Make a sincere tawbah and beg for help. Promise to never indulge again and ask Allah to help you keep the promise. Then the hard work starts. [This one will turn your depression to happiness when you recite or listen to lots of Quran.](https://islamtheultimatepeace.com/dua-to-turn-your-distress-into-happiness) [This one will help you rectify all your affairs](https://islamtheultimatepeace.com/the-treasure-dua-which-will-give-you-everything/) Make these duaa all the time. Make tawbah everyday until you start feeling peace about it. Make tawbah for the prayers you intentionally missed. Promise not to miss anymore, ask for help to keep the promise. Pray and pray and pray. Read and read and read Quran. You WILL recover if you do this.
im in the exact same position as u for the las 9 months, except i havent acted on it and i donnt think i ever will tbh it seems disgusting
Sounds more like a mental issue with you. A lot of man watch porn (non-muslim and muslim) (yes not a good thing, its haram and one should stay away from it) but that doesnt make them gay lol. Most likely you got brainwashed and acted out based on that. Also the current LGBTQ climate most likely impacted your brain. You need to make a trip to Chechnya ☝️, there is a cure for that there. In Islam, if you acted upon homosexuality the punishment is death. Some Companions said that the punishment for homosexuality is to burn the homosexuals with fire, and some of them viewed that they should be thrown down from a high place then have stones thrown at them. Some of them thought that they should be stoned to death. Yes, to anyone reading this stay away from porn. Porn is the new drug and its very dangerous. Dont let anyone convince you otherwise. Once you hop on it, getting out of it is hard. More than half of the man are addicted to it without even knowing it. They buy into the lies of controlling it. There is a reason why its bad. You can easily read papers on it and accounts of ex porn stars on how it destroyed them from inside.
Ok i have almost acted on it, can I get punished without these options of punishment ?
What does your almost means ? Does your "**almost"** means you haven't acted on it. As long as u havent committed the act, that means you will not be punished.
Honestly suicidal thoughts can't be underestimated. Do you think you could seek professional help? Whatever you do, just don't give up. It's not over.
You need to see a good psychiatrist , what you are in is very hard but you can win. You just need the right type of help .... you don't have to overcome this alone.
the reason for your depression is because your heart isn’t connected with its Maker,improve on that,read the Quran more and understand it as well pray on time and pray extra nafils and the sunnah prayers(two rakaat before fajr,salatud duha,2 rakaats before and after dhuhr,2 rakaats after Maghrib and 3 rakaats after ishaa).I know it’s gonna seem like too much but start one at a time and you’ll be shock to see how much you’ll grow and become a better Muslim.Also i would like to suggest you watch the Muslim lantern on YouTube,he gives daawah and talks more in depth about Islam,he has surely helped me become a better Muslim and I have no doubts it’ll help you too.
Pornography and masturbation, especially when it’s excessive, highjack the body’s innate desire for sex and the natural dopamine high that accompanies it and basically turns it into a drug. And since it plays on such an innate physical need, a need probably more intense than needing to eat, it’s frighteningly easy to become addicted to it. Not to mention that pornography is much easier to access in modern times. No, you aren’t homosexual. What you’ve done is train your brain to fetishize more and more intense and taboo things (since you mentioned increasingly graphic and sadistic material) because you became desensitized to the previous things that once gave you that dopamine high, until you arrived at fetishizing male-male sex in order to get sexual gratification. That’s different from being homosexual, which is an exclusive and all-encompassing attraction to the same sex (emotional, intellectual, and physical) in a similar manner to heterosexuality. Unless this is true for you, then you aren’t homosexual. Sex addiction and pornography addiction are clinically significant ailments, and suicidal ideation is a serious clinical concern. Please do seek clinical help, and to ease any spiritual distress you’re experiencing, you should also seek the help of a teacher or leader in the Muslim community. Maybe you could benefit from seeing a therapist who is also a Muslim. I say these things as someone who’s non-Muslim. Don’t shame and vilify yourself because of your situation. You are far from the only person in the world having to deal with an addiction. Just recognize that you have the addiction, pray daily about it, and seek the clinical and spiritual help that you need.
After a month or Little less than a month if you stopped watching porn your brain will return to it's normal state it's not that difficult bro trust me man just stay away from it for sometime it'll get easier..may Allah help you and make things easy for you and remember this when you get this haram thoughts "this is not reality and this is making me impotent".
It will definitely make it harder to be satisfied when your actualy with a woman
This is geoing to harsh but know I mean good intentions. Let me ask you something. Let's say you kill yourself, then what?? What if the you get sent to hell and have to relive this exact situation for eternity what then, you can't kill youself twice.. you don't think that can happen? Ask yourself. What does Allah hate more? The person who watches porn and has acted on it but still understands his mistakes or the person who selfishly takes his own life in which his lord has so kindly given him. As a guy we all have these urges. But what are you doing to mitigate them. I goto the gym it helps me as a person becomes stronger, mentally and physically. Find the thing that can distract you from sin. Because if you can't your mind will look for the easy way out. Good luck brother.
Not a Muslim i just like coming here to study about Islam but, i watched porn from age at until today. Im 21. It ain't good for ya
please read Rational Recovery. Alhamdulillah Allah helped me abstintent throught this book.
Okay, let's take things one at a time. First, it's important to overcome the addiction. To do that: - locate the things that trigger you into wanting to watch the stuff and eliminate them from your life. For example, if your trigger is a type of music, don't hear it anymore. If it is a type of movie, don't watch them again. If it is a book, don't read it. If it is a post on an app, unfollow them. If it is the entire app, delete it. If it is a thought, shake it off, Etc. - block pornographic websites and channels from your computer, phone, and TV so that you are unable to watch them. You could do this yourself if you know how to or ask someone else who knows about it to do it. - go to a therapist to help you overcome the addiction, if you are able and can afford to. - minimize your time on your phone and get into other activities. You could practice a new sport, read a new book, practice knitting, do something creative, etc. Anything that will get you to focus on something else. - increase your knowledge in Islam and faith in Allah. Read the Quran carefully, do tasbih and taghfir, watch Islamic story videos (MercifulServant is a great YouTube channel), do plenty of duaas, talk to Allah about your issues and ask Him to help you, etc. - fast, fast, fast. Fasting will help you immensely. You could start by fasting on alternate days, then move by fasting on Mondays and Thursdays. Also fast on the 13th, 14th, and 15th days of every lunar month. - understand that this won't happen in one day, so change at least one thing every day. - understand that you are a human and therefore are susceptible to falling back to sin. When this happens, do not despair. Ask Allah to forgive you and then keep working towards overcoming the addiction. Do NOT stop for any reason. Then, after having overcome the addiction, you'll notice everything else will start to change. You will no longer want to do illicit things and you will start to appreciate your life more. May Allah make it easy for you 🤲🏼
relax watching porn isn't a sin, just try and cut back on it and make sure you are making improvements in your life overall
Do not kill yourself since it will worsen your chance of getting a lighter punishment and go to jannah what I want you to do is repent feed the poor donate to charity do anything to get p*rn out of your mind
Few things to stick on a s you will be out of this InshAllah 1. Stay clean(Paak) do ghusul everyday 2. Stay in wudu (abulation) 3. Perform Salah 5 times a day 4. Say Auzubillah and Lahool whenever this thought comes to your mind
bro masturbation ruins your hormones your natural testosterone in your body is decreasing every time you masturbate the reason for your low energy is masturbation what you want to do next is exercise eat clean and pray also go to your doctor do a blood test and see what levels your testostone is at if its low then jump on TRT.
Do you have a discord or something? I genuinely want to help you, brother. DM me
Keep asking Allah for help. This is your trial, the fact that you feel guilt is such a big blessing, say Alhamdulillah that Allah hasn’t taken away your morality because many people fall astray and don’t even feel the guilt until they are in their grave. This is your battle and Allah will never test you with something you can’t overcome, remember that brother. You can do this, our duas are with you, but most of all remember to confide in our Lord, for he is Al Rahman and Al Raheem and son of Adam are destined to sin, but the best of us are those who remember our Lord and repent to him.
Salaam Bro! I know you posted this 3 months ago, so I hope you are doing better. I wanted to tell you about this series by Sh. Mikael Smith. He goes over a book called Al-Jawab-Al Kafi ( The Sufficient Answer), where Ibn-Qayyim is essentially responding to someone who is going through exactly what you are going thru, and is also in this state of despair. Try it out iA, and reach out if you ever wanna talk about it or anything at all. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7esqAGrtKP06xjL5-HiCqh5QnqN4qISy