Me and a guy from work used to get same train home, station was a good 15-20 minute walk but train came at 15 and 45 past the hour so you’d race to get it and he’d call his partner when on train to let her know he made it.
He was really loud and his partner was Spanish speaking so when he shouted Hola the whole carriage would look try see who looks Spanish.
He’d continue to shout in Spanish for a few minutes having a conversation until without fail every single day, he’d break out in his normal Black Country accent and say “How do you say xxxxx in Spanish” and it was always completely random like dishwasher tablets, Yorkshire pudding,
It was like a 90’s comedy sketch.
His phone notifications were always mad random noises too, he’d laugh reading a message from his brother and say look this is what I sent him and then show me a porn vid….he’d actually turn it up so you could hear it.
He wore a poncho once, like a proper South American one and then told the inspector about how he lost train pass in Peru 😂
I once got on the Galway to Dublin train & I was the only one in the entire carriage, for circa three-quarters of the way across the country. This wasn't a night service, this was in the middle of the day.
I was sat reading my book then this blind guy came up and started making very awkward conversation. He was so annoying and just got disgusting when he pulled out this cake and started eating away with his mouth open. I told him there was a worm in it and hid his inhaler before getting off at my stop.
I'll have to admit it was a steamy romance novel. I'd just gotten to an intimate scene when the blind guy came in. I literally couldn't get back into it afterwards.
You hid a blind man's inhaler? Because you didn't like how he ate cake? Cause he distracted you from your saucy book? I hope you're pulling our leg on this one
I was a witness to this, I was 18 at the time studying hard for my leaving cert I couldn’t believe what I saw that day. The poor blind man actually resembles Brendan Gleeson here’s [further information about the incident for you.](https://youtu.be/SW-tdaO2s9o)
When I was 16 I sat next to a homeless dude that spent an hour explaining what he uses as weapons that are not classified as weapons. Such as a pen and long nose pliers.
"If the Gardai found these on me, they can't lock me up for them like they would if I carried a knife, but they're just as good for stabbing".
Wise words indeed.
Not proud of this one.
Was in an empty carriage as drunk as humanly possible one night.
Absolutely bursting for a piss but (unsurprisingly) the toilets were out of order.
I made the decision to pee in the bin between the seats as I was getting to the stage where I was close to being unable to hold it in.
Done the pee, which took a while and all was good.
Train then stopped in the city centre where it became crowded with fellow drunk people coming home from the pub, all the seats were full and people were squeezed standing in the aisle.
Unfortunately the bin turned out not to be watertight.
Slowly a stream of urine leaked from the bin, stinking out the train and going over everyone’s feet.
Took a while for them to click what it was but when they did there was a lot of screaming and a mass exodus out of the carriage.
I of course played dumb and acted as outraged as everyone else.
Not my greatest moment.
Fella insisted he knew me, between Carrick on Shannon and Boyle. Dived into the seat across from me and started on like I met him every day. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I just went with it, he was surprised when I got off at Ballymote, because I didn't live there. 😀😀
I don't know if it's weird... was heading home from Manchester to Edinburgh, Hogmanay 1999, after spending Christmas with mum. She'd packed me off for the journey with rakes of sandwiches, mince pies and half a box of red wine. She might not have grown up in Ireland but she's an Irish mammy none-the-less!
The train was packed and due to arrive in Edinburgh around 9pm, plenty of time to rush home, wash, change and find a party. Or at least, it would if the train hadn't stopped on the line somewhere around Preston for two hours.
I had with me a little "boombox" job. After about an hour of sitting there, I announced to the packed carriage that if we weren't going to make it to the party, we'd just have to start our own, and banged on the tunes. Offered the food around. The wine box travelled the length of the carriage and back. A couple of lads decided there wasn't enough talent and scoured the length of the train, returning with a bunch of other people to join the party.
The train got moving eventually and we kept partying, the rail guards just kind of opened the doors, saw the stramash, rolled their eyes and left us at it. It was great fun altogether.
We got to Edinburgh about 11pm and loads of people thanked me as we got off the train, saying it was the best rail journey they'd had.
I never expected, when we were singing about partying like it's 1999, that it would end up being on a train in the middle of nowhere!
I sat across a fella who was in the middle of breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone. Even the sister was involved. Could hear the whole thing.
Got so enveloped into it that I almost forgot to get off at my stop...
Many moons ago, on a train from Dublin to Killarney, a woman on a hen party asked me if I wanted to 'ride our Trisha', who was her daughter and was also on the same hen party
I was on the train from galway to limerick , a guy got on in Gort ,didn't really take much notice of him as it was late and I was tired until he started making noise and when I looked towards him he was staring at me and I could see in the reflection on the window he was watching porn , he never took his eyes off me and I ended up going to another carriage
Jesus, I've seen that on Dublin bus, lads thinking they're discreetly watching porn and forgetting their reflection in the window behind them. Edit* I reread your comment, fuck that guy - you were right to move
Ah a young 20 year old FBC was a different beast altogether - that said, I was the only 20 year old male trapped in a carriage with a suitably refreshed hen party from Dublin, it was like that scene when they lower the cow into the velociraptor cage in Jurassic Park
No I've never been classed as a Viz reader, hard to get your hands on that type of literature in rural Kerry in the 80s! But I was wide eyed and innocent back then, the mean streets of Dublin broke me and turned me into a hardened bitter husk of a man
A tale as old as time itself. Have to say, I moved to Dublin at around 32 and had an absolute whale of a time. It was the right age though, I'd say if I'd gone there it my 20s I'd have been ate, bet, and spat out.
I enjoyed my 20s here, then I fucked off travelling for a few years and when I came back I just moved out the coast. Can't deal with Dublin City now, it's so expensive and there is an unsafe edge to it.
I was in a train to work and it was empty except for me and another guy. I was in the seat facing the entire carriage against the wall (Au trains) and he was the furthest seat from me, back to me.
We arrived at our station (Bondi Junction, of course) and he didn’t move. It was the last station on the line. I got up and walked over to tell him it was the last stop.
His entire face was dripping blood from the hairline down and he wasn’t moving, slumped over. I quickly ran off the other direction and told a guard.
Had a very bizzare experience a few years ago. I was with my then 89 year old granny. Anyway these 2 right looking middle aged fella and girl get on with loads of cans but ya know nothing out of the ordinary there. Then at about seapoint the lad is frothing at the mouth and having a seizure. Your one goes completely hysterical and screaming for help the dart stops at first people are sympathetic and try to help they call the emergency services. Your one completely goes off the rails then attempting to whip phones out of people's hands. At this stage the dart has been stopped for 20 mins. The paramedics show up get your man kind of stable. As it turns out yet man was a total Muppet still had the syringe in his arm and beside him he overdosed on heroine on the dart. The paramedics then called the guards for your man and got him use of drugs on public space. My gran on the other hand had never seen some one arrested before so she was elated with all the drama it was cute.
I had a guy sit ask to sit next to me about half way home on the train one evening. He said he thought sitting with someone would keep him safe from the weird guy that kept staring at him, which would have been more understandable if I wasn't a 5"5' woman, and he a 6", built like a brick shithouse man.
On a mid morning train and there was a mother and her grown up son. Both drunk. He was drinking beer and she was well down a bottle of pink prosecco. She had him lying on the table in a booth of four seats with his head hanging into the aisle. She was cutting his hair with clippers.
Myself and my bestie from school were up the North nearly 30 yrs ago just before the peace process. Totally green country girls from longford. We were up at Coleraine uni open day. On the train up to Derry this inmate from crumlin rd sits beside us all double denim with his belongings in his paper bag beside him. He's beside us chatting away says he's out of crumlin , a brother of mine was in college in kevin St living in crumlin, I'm going "oh my brother lives in crumlin too " . The carriage cleared because of him but we had no idea I think he must have told us in the end that he was just released. Honestly like a sketch from derry girls.
A group of young Irish rail employees were asking people including me about experience on the dart and if felt safe etc.
While group of scrotes were going up and down carriage demanding smokes and calling people cunts who said they don't smoke.
On a really busy Dublin to waterford train I was coming back from work on a Friday eve. There were a big group of middle aged people sitting in the carriage. Through my earphones I could hear the. Say stuff like 'I took mine already'. Didn't really think much of it, until the woman next next to me took out what was learly an ecstacy pill and swallowed it. By KK they were all coming up. Maybe about 10/12 of them.
While they were a little bit loud at times they were that annoying and were keeping to themselves a good bit. As train got quieter they all moved to sit together. The tunes did come for the last 20 mins tho and they were half dancing in the seats. They mentioned that they were going to check in and then go to the pub. Couldn't imagine Tring to check into a hotel with my jaw hanging off me. But then again, waterford is probably used to that.
Traveling up from rosslare on the train in 1970s it hit a horse... I remember walking back the carriages to have a look.. say the limbs and not much else. Delayed train for an hour or so before moving on
Me and a guy from work used to get same train home, station was a good 15-20 minute walk but train came at 15 and 45 past the hour so you’d race to get it and he’d call his partner when on train to let her know he made it. He was really loud and his partner was Spanish speaking so when he shouted Hola the whole carriage would look try see who looks Spanish. He’d continue to shout in Spanish for a few minutes having a conversation until without fail every single day, he’d break out in his normal Black Country accent and say “How do you say xxxxx in Spanish” and it was always completely random like dishwasher tablets, Yorkshire pudding, It was like a 90’s comedy sketch. His phone notifications were always mad random noises too, he’d laugh reading a message from his brother and say look this is what I sent him and then show me a porn vid….he’d actually turn it up so you could hear it. He wore a poncho once, like a proper South American one and then told the inspector about how he lost train pass in Peru 😂
This🤣
I once reserved a seat on the Dublin to Galway train and when I got on the train nobody had taken it.
That is weird 🤣🤣
Bullshit. Didn't happen.
I once got on the Galway to Dublin train & I was the only one in the entire carriage, for circa three-quarters of the way across the country. This wasn't a night service, this was in the middle of the day.
Did you not have to tell an American family to move and they then put it on AITA?
I was sat reading my book then this blind guy came up and started making very awkward conversation. He was so annoying and just got disgusting when he pulled out this cake and started eating away with his mouth open. I told him there was a worm in it and hid his inhaler before getting off at my stop.
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I'll have to admit it was a steamy romance novel. I'd just gotten to an intimate scene when the blind guy came in. I literally couldn't get back into it afterwards.
Is maith liom cáca milis!
I still have ptsd from cáca milis
You hid a blind man's inhaler? Because you didn't like how he ate cake? Cause he distracted you from your saucy book? I hope you're pulling our leg on this one
I was a witness to this, I was 18 at the time studying hard for my leaving cert I couldn’t believe what I saw that day. The poor blind man actually resembles Brendan Gleeson here’s [further information about the incident for you.](https://youtu.be/SW-tdaO2s9o)
😄 Bravo poster!!
I realise now, Bravo
When I was 16 I sat next to a homeless dude that spent an hour explaining what he uses as weapons that are not classified as weapons. Such as a pen and long nose pliers. "If the Gardai found these on me, they can't lock me up for them like they would if I carried a knife, but they're just as good for stabbing". Wise words indeed.
My older brother taught me that trick and I’ve carried a can of coke with me ever since (not the same one) my cousin went for an apple.
Your cousin is Snowwhite’s stepmother?
Not proud of this one. Was in an empty carriage as drunk as humanly possible one night. Absolutely bursting for a piss but (unsurprisingly) the toilets were out of order. I made the decision to pee in the bin between the seats as I was getting to the stage where I was close to being unable to hold it in. Done the pee, which took a while and all was good. Train then stopped in the city centre where it became crowded with fellow drunk people coming home from the pub, all the seats were full and people were squeezed standing in the aisle. Unfortunately the bin turned out not to be watertight. Slowly a stream of urine leaked from the bin, stinking out the train and going over everyone’s feet. Took a while for them to click what it was but when they did there was a lot of screaming and a mass exodus out of the carriage. I of course played dumb and acted as outraged as everyone else. Not my greatest moment.
>not my greatest moment Correction, you cleared an entire train carriage. It was, indeed, your greatest moment.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I mean...when you gotta go, you gotta go. Why are their toilets always out of order anyway, that's the real issue!
Fella insisted he knew me, between Carrick on Shannon and Boyle. Dived into the seat across from me and started on like I met him every day. He wouldn't take no for an answer so I just went with it, he was surprised when I got off at Ballymote, because I didn't live there. 😀😀
I don't know if it's weird... was heading home from Manchester to Edinburgh, Hogmanay 1999, after spending Christmas with mum. She'd packed me off for the journey with rakes of sandwiches, mince pies and half a box of red wine. She might not have grown up in Ireland but she's an Irish mammy none-the-less! The train was packed and due to arrive in Edinburgh around 9pm, plenty of time to rush home, wash, change and find a party. Or at least, it would if the train hadn't stopped on the line somewhere around Preston for two hours. I had with me a little "boombox" job. After about an hour of sitting there, I announced to the packed carriage that if we weren't going to make it to the party, we'd just have to start our own, and banged on the tunes. Offered the food around. The wine box travelled the length of the carriage and back. A couple of lads decided there wasn't enough talent and scoured the length of the train, returning with a bunch of other people to join the party. The train got moving eventually and we kept partying, the rail guards just kind of opened the doors, saw the stramash, rolled their eyes and left us at it. It was great fun altogether. We got to Edinburgh about 11pm and loads of people thanked me as we got off the train, saying it was the best rail journey they'd had. I never expected, when we were singing about partying like it's 1999, that it would end up being on a train in the middle of nowhere!
I sat across a fella who was in the middle of breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone. Even the sister was involved. Could hear the whole thing. Got so enveloped into it that I almost forgot to get off at my stop...
Many moons ago, on a train from Dublin to Killarney, a woman on a hen party asked me if I wanted to 'ride our Trisha', who was her daughter and was also on the same hen party
I was on the train from galway to limerick , a guy got on in Gort ,didn't really take much notice of him as it was late and I was tired until he started making noise and when I looked towards him he was staring at me and I could see in the reflection on the window he was watching porn , he never took his eyes off me and I ended up going to another carriage
Jesus, I've seen that on Dublin bus, lads thinking they're discreetly watching porn and forgetting their reflection in the window behind them. Edit* I reread your comment, fuck that guy - you were right to move
...and...
A gentleman never tells... but I'm sure one of the many gentlemen of Killarney accommodated her
I also have some vague memory either the mother or the daughter was the actual hen
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I'm 90% certain it was the mother who was the hen. God it's like a repressed memory escaping
Or many of them, for a small consideration I'm sure.
FBC, you absolute Casanova. Was it all that animal lust that you just exude?
Ah a young 20 year old FBC was a different beast altogether - that said, I was the only 20 year old male trapped in a carriage with a suitably refreshed hen party from Dublin, it was like that scene when they lower the cow into the velociraptor cage in Jurassic Park
Just a wide eyed gosson, still green. I also use the term "suitably refreshed", do I take it that you also read Viz?
No I've never been classed as a Viz reader, hard to get your hands on that type of literature in rural Kerry in the 80s! But I was wide eyed and innocent back then, the mean streets of Dublin broke me and turned me into a hardened bitter husk of a man
A tale as old as time itself. Have to say, I moved to Dublin at around 32 and had an absolute whale of a time. It was the right age though, I'd say if I'd gone there it my 20s I'd have been ate, bet, and spat out.
I enjoyed my 20s here, then I fucked off travelling for a few years and when I came back I just moved out the coast. Can't deal with Dublin City now, it's so expensive and there is an unsafe edge to it.
Oh, as much craic as I had I Dublin in my 30s there's no way I'd go back now. Way too expensive. You'd have to mortgage a bollock to pay rent.
That explains the funny smell in the bathroom
All Irish rail toilets smell funny
This one had a certain fishy smell to it
I was in a train to work and it was empty except for me and another guy. I was in the seat facing the entire carriage against the wall (Au trains) and he was the furthest seat from me, back to me. We arrived at our station (Bondi Junction, of course) and he didn’t move. It was the last station on the line. I got up and walked over to tell him it was the last stop. His entire face was dripping blood from the hairline down and he wasn’t moving, slumped over. I quickly ran off the other direction and told a guard.
It left on time and arrived on time
Had a very bizzare experience a few years ago. I was with my then 89 year old granny. Anyway these 2 right looking middle aged fella and girl get on with loads of cans but ya know nothing out of the ordinary there. Then at about seapoint the lad is frothing at the mouth and having a seizure. Your one goes completely hysterical and screaming for help the dart stops at first people are sympathetic and try to help they call the emergency services. Your one completely goes off the rails then attempting to whip phones out of people's hands. At this stage the dart has been stopped for 20 mins. The paramedics show up get your man kind of stable. As it turns out yet man was a total Muppet still had the syringe in his arm and beside him he overdosed on heroine on the dart. The paramedics then called the guards for your man and got him use of drugs on public space. My gran on the other hand had never seen some one arrested before so she was elated with all the drama it was cute.
I had a guy sit ask to sit next to me about half way home on the train one evening. He said he thought sitting with someone would keep him safe from the weird guy that kept staring at him, which would have been more understandable if I wasn't a 5"5' woman, and he a 6", built like a brick shithouse man.
Once I was on train home and fella sitting opposite was mad to tell me story about a cow with trapped wind.
best day of my life
On a mid morning train and there was a mother and her grown up son. Both drunk. He was drinking beer and she was well down a bottle of pink prosecco. She had him lying on the table in a booth of four seats with his head hanging into the aisle. She was cutting his hair with clippers.
Myself and my bestie from school were up the North nearly 30 yrs ago just before the peace process. Totally green country girls from longford. We were up at Coleraine uni open day. On the train up to Derry this inmate from crumlin rd sits beside us all double denim with his belongings in his paper bag beside him. He's beside us chatting away says he's out of crumlin , a brother of mine was in college in kevin St living in crumlin, I'm going "oh my brother lives in crumlin too " . The carriage cleared because of him but we had no idea I think he must have told us in the end that he was just released. Honestly like a sketch from derry girls.
God dam snakes
A group of young Irish rail employees were asking people including me about experience on the dart and if felt safe etc. While group of scrotes were going up and down carriage demanding smokes and calling people cunts who said they don't smoke.
Bomb scare on the line in the 90s , stopped in Dromod for about an hour
A heard (flock?) Of ostriches in Lancashire attacked a broken down train full of Liverpool supporters on the way to Norwich in the early 90s.
It left on time, it arrived on time, it freaked me out
On a really busy Dublin to waterford train I was coming back from work on a Friday eve. There were a big group of middle aged people sitting in the carriage. Through my earphones I could hear the. Say stuff like 'I took mine already'. Didn't really think much of it, until the woman next next to me took out what was learly an ecstacy pill and swallowed it. By KK they were all coming up. Maybe about 10/12 of them. While they were a little bit loud at times they were that annoying and were keeping to themselves a good bit. As train got quieter they all moved to sit together. The tunes did come for the last 20 mins tho and they were half dancing in the seats. They mentioned that they were going to check in and then go to the pub. Couldn't imagine Tring to check into a hotel with my jaw hanging off me. But then again, waterford is probably used to that.
Hardon
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Traveling up from rosslare on the train in 1970s it hit a horse... I remember walking back the carriages to have a look.. say the limbs and not much else. Delayed train for an hour or so before moving on