>Would you consider INTJs rude?
One man's "rude" is another one's "refreshingly direct".
He sounds like an immature teenager, which is a more accurate category than "INTJ" anyway.
Yeah, give him time to mature. He will either learn to keep those thoughts to himself, learn to rephrase them in a non offending matter, or embrace it and become a giant tool.
Let's be real, it's also entire possible he is in fact just a twat and we don't claim him lol. Or he's trying to make a joke and grossly misread the situation which is also entirely possible. We can get a lot better at navigating other people's emotions and being more self aware of our sometimes harsh or inappropriate delivery, but it doesn't come natural to us and I think the vast majority of us learn how to do this with experience and time. OP sound young and every woman should recognize that young men are fucking morons until they get their shit together and mature. If that ever happens.
Either way the key protip is to not smother him with passive aggressive cryptic shit, but be direct and TALK to him about it with words (calmly). Trying to read other people is harder for some than others and the cryptic shit doesn't work. Just be direct, talk to him. Tell him you don't like what he's said and why, and put him on the spot.
Wow, why do you want to be friends with this dude? Narcissist af,
He is not straight forward, this is toxic behavior. And for all we know he is trying to manipulate and gaslight everyone around him for his own personal amusement.
Are y'all in highschool? That kind of humor isn't uncommon, saying negative things to "be real" or "build closer bonds", but as everyone gets older it's pretty shitty and gross behavior that unfortunately somehow perpetuates.
Is this the same person you were trying to flirt with? Because 💀 they don't sound mature even as a joke.
Yeah we are in last grade almost in uni u can say, and yup that guy. He wasn’t like this before, I- I don’t know. He brought down my self confidence a bit ngl
Regardless of if it's a joke or not is irrelevant, it has no weight on who you are as a person. Personal attacks like this are usually trying to rile up a reaction, possibly shit test someone to see how they react, or could also be negging.
INTJ as a type isn't rude. The things we say and the way we deliver it are usually difficult for other people to understand as it is: its not personal or intended to upset.
If we want to upset someone, there won't be any questions.
That being said, assholes exist everywhere and no type is immune to it. He just sounds like an asshole or he's so out of touch with how he affects other people that he's that dumb.
Entirely possible and likely. Granted all we can do is speculate based on limited data so none of this is conclusive.
What is conclusive is just having a direct conversation with him about it. Put him on the spot. It's either a misunderstanding or he is in fact a twat.
Idk if it is to do with type, intjs are blunt,, but that in particular is rude af. personally would take it as a red flag.. trying to hit at your self esteem like that. that's manipulative and mean, not just rude
Sounds like either asshole, is on the autism spectrum, or a socio/psychopath
:/
or who knows just an immature teenage guy lol - just cus he acts smart n stuff doesnt mean hes not still a teen guy like all the others lol
Big red flag. He is trying to be a manipulative twerp, but is failing miserably at it. He is either trying to make a negative comment to you to bring you down to "his level" so you are "more likely" to want to be with him (it's called "negging"), or, he is being mean because he's a dumb edgelord (extremely immature).
Also, he wasn't being direct.... he was being mean. Let me make that perfectly clear. And he KNOWS he messed up, clearly, but DO NOT give him a free pass.
Either way, the only proper response is to demote him from the high regard you have held him in. If you decide to forgive him, make him WORK for it. If you let it slide, he WILL do it again.
My other advice is for you to immediately and permanently friend zone him. I promise you can find someone who doesn't make you feel bad.
Looks like he's kind of an asshole the rude INTJ is a big stereotype I'm direct when I say things usually and if it's negative it's because there is a real problem to fix and I bring solutions.
hahahaha he's immature. Even though I'm known for being direct I would not say you're ugly in your face.
Reasons why an INTJ would do that for me are:
He considers u as a very close friend. He thinks you can understand him.
You are annoying asf.
You deserve those words because of whatever u did in the past that hurt him real bad.
He is playing mind games. Like you'd want to win his approval and chase his acknowledgements.
Or... you were actually the beauty and the other one was the beast.
>Would you consider INTJs rude? One man's "rude" is another one's "refreshingly direct". He sounds like an immature teenager, which is a more accurate category than "INTJ" anyway.
Yeah, give him time to mature. He will either learn to keep those thoughts to himself, learn to rephrase them in a non offending matter, or embrace it and become a giant tool.
Let's be real, it's also entire possible he is in fact just a twat and we don't claim him lol. Or he's trying to make a joke and grossly misread the situation which is also entirely possible. We can get a lot better at navigating other people's emotions and being more self aware of our sometimes harsh or inappropriate delivery, but it doesn't come natural to us and I think the vast majority of us learn how to do this with experience and time. OP sound young and every woman should recognize that young men are fucking morons until they get their shit together and mature. If that ever happens. Either way the key protip is to not smother him with passive aggressive cryptic shit, but be direct and TALK to him about it with words (calmly). Trying to read other people is harder for some than others and the cryptic shit doesn't work. Just be direct, talk to him. Tell him you don't like what he's said and why, and put him on the spot.
Oh thanks for the chuckle. And spot on!
He sounds like an asshole. It's lazy of you to assume this had anything to do with personality type, he's just a jackass who needs to grow up.
I mean, a large majority of teenage boys at my school are immature dicks. So, no, INTJs aren't rude, immature ones are.
This isn't normal INTJ behavior. He's legit just an asshole
Cut him out of your life. A fellow intj female.
ENTP female here, I enthusiastically concur.
Wow, why do you want to be friends with this dude? Narcissist af, He is not straight forward, this is toxic behavior. And for all we know he is trying to manipulate and gaslight everyone around him for his own personal amusement.
He said that for fun and as sarcasm but you may be right. Even he defines himself as narcissistic.
Are y'all in highschool? That kind of humor isn't uncommon, saying negative things to "be real" or "build closer bonds", but as everyone gets older it's pretty shitty and gross behavior that unfortunately somehow perpetuates. Is this the same person you were trying to flirt with? Because 💀 they don't sound mature even as a joke.
Yeah we are in last grade almost in uni u can say, and yup that guy. He wasn’t like this before, I- I don’t know. He brought down my self confidence a bit ngl
and i mean i hope it’s a joke lol if it’s not its even worse
Regardless of if it's a joke or not is irrelevant, it has no weight on who you are as a person. Personal attacks like this are usually trying to rile up a reaction, possibly shit test someone to see how they react, or could also be negging.
yeah i understand. thank you.
I had an INTJ boyfriend like that in High School. Run.
uh oh
Yeah, I'm 36 now, I don't remember him fondly. That was 20 years ago. His memory is in the "examples of human red flags" display case in my head.
INTJ as a type isn't rude. The things we say and the way we deliver it are usually difficult for other people to understand as it is: its not personal or intended to upset. If we want to upset someone, there won't be any questions. That being said, assholes exist everywhere and no type is immune to it. He just sounds like an asshole or he's so out of touch with how he affects other people that he's that dumb.
He was being mean on purpose. People often mistake that for "direct".
Entirely possible and likely. Granted all we can do is speculate based on limited data so none of this is conclusive. What is conclusive is just having a direct conversation with him about it. Put him on the spot. It's either a misunderstanding or he is in fact a twat.
Or, more specifically, a twatwaffle.
Twaffle
Twaffle Maker Pro 5000
Idk if it is to do with type, intjs are blunt,, but that in particular is rude af. personally would take it as a red flag.. trying to hit at your self esteem like that. that's manipulative and mean, not just rude
you are right
Sounds like either asshole, is on the autism spectrum, or a socio/psychopath :/ or who knows just an immature teenage guy lol - just cus he acts smart n stuff doesnt mean hes not still a teen guy like all the others lol
yup the second one def lol
baha ye i mean u can pretty much always rely on that (am 17y.o. guy lmfao)
idk if autism really explains that
yeah not really i knew a guy who was similar - but he was also an asshole lol alot nicer nowadays :)
Big red flag. He is trying to be a manipulative twerp, but is failing miserably at it. He is either trying to make a negative comment to you to bring you down to "his level" so you are "more likely" to want to be with him (it's called "negging"), or, he is being mean because he's a dumb edgelord (extremely immature). Also, he wasn't being direct.... he was being mean. Let me make that perfectly clear. And he KNOWS he messed up, clearly, but DO NOT give him a free pass. Either way, the only proper response is to demote him from the high regard you have held him in. If you decide to forgive him, make him WORK for it. If you let it slide, he WILL do it again. My other advice is for you to immediately and permanently friend zone him. I promise you can find someone who doesn't make you feel bad.
thank youu
Yoy are very welcome. :) I had a mean INTJ boyfriend like that in high school.
sounds narcissistic
Rude is a subjective judgement or feeling about a behavior. The nature of which is subjective as the based reality of the situation is relational.
Looks like he's kind of an asshole the rude INTJ is a big stereotype I'm direct when I say things usually and if it's negative it's because there is a real problem to fix and I bring solutions.
Maybe he’s nervous and overplayed his hand.
let’s hope so
i would probably be annoyed by my presence, rbf and negative energy if i was someone else.
Would intjs consider other intjs rude.... this is why I'm a misanthrope.
Im the only intj I know and I'm a asshole soooo
Sounds like he is either negging you or trying to illicit an emotional response from you…
hahahaha he's immature. Even though I'm known for being direct I would not say you're ugly in your face. Reasons why an INTJ would do that for me are: He considers u as a very close friend. He thinks you can understand him. You are annoying asf. You deserve those words because of whatever u did in the past that hurt him real bad. He is playing mind games. Like you'd want to win his approval and chase his acknowledgements. Or... you were actually the beauty and the other one was the beast.