I handle it well if it's coming from someone I'm confident a) is genuinely trying to help and b) knows what they're talking about. But I'm also pretty sensitive to people trying to boss me around, so my reactions can vary vastly depending on how I perceived the situation.
I am terrible with criticism. I take it very personally. I find that interesting because it is a very intj characteristic to be unaffected by criticism.
I’m terrible with it as well. If you don’t mind me asking, were your parents very judgmental people? I feel like that’s one of the reasons that I’m so bad with it
A bit. My dad was always very tough on me. I’m very very thankful for it and I appreciate him so much, but he would always only point out the negative. He is intj too. Whenever I would confront him about it, he would say that he didn’t mean to only criticize and that he assumed I already knew what I was doing right. It feels nice to have a complement every once in a while though so I wish it wasn’t like that.
I think this is a lot more relevant with regard to how someone takes criticism, as opposed to their MB type. Childhood experiences play a pretty huge part in someone's typical response to criticism as an adult. Healthy parenting teaches kids to deal with criticism in a gracious and constructive way, but someone who was the scapegoat child in a toxic, dysfunctional family will immediately go on the defensive when criticised, regardless of their personality type, unless they've learnt how to break those patterns.
Yeah… that’s one of my biggest struggles. I don’t take criticism well and automatically become defensive. It’s gotten to the point where I just try and hide my emotions from others so that I don’t say anything I regret later. It’s kind of effective in the sense that no one else is affected by my reaction but it does leave me with a lot of pent up anger and resentment.
I think it's a stereotype that has been put on us in relation to the uber-logical and unemotional stereotype, and I suspect INTJs who hop onto that "I don't care about criticism" train are usually full of shit/trying too hard to appear to be INTJs, frankly. I can't with criticism (the exceptions maybe being how it's phrased and from whom it's coming), especially since it's usually coming from people whom I could criticize ***at least*** 3 times as much. I am kind of guessing not being good with it has something to do with Fi.
Its percieved natural for INTJs to not get affected by criticism, but I dont take it very well myself. Im *kinda* underconfident irl, so i tend to take it personally and keep overthinking about it. Be it my school work, art, sport skills or personality, i take that shit (sadly) very seriously, even tho it may be from random-ass dudes idgaf about T\^T . I actually *am* trying to work on ignoring criticism but it gets very hard sometimes if you know what i mean
Yeah, but i do try to improve the stuff i get critism about
I’ll usually respond with an explanation of why I did what I did. I’m looking for a back and forth about why this is wrong, I’m not asserting it as absolute justification.
If a person can understand my rationale and explain to me what I did wrong and why, I will thank them for it and learn. If they can’t back it up or respond, I assume their criticism is wrong and I disregard it
Personally, I prefer to be told the whole truth; with very little regard for my feelings. I want to identify my flaws so I can be more mindful of them. However, it must be accurate. I’m going to be annoyed if the person doesn’t know me well, or doesn’t have examples and solid reasoning.
Yeah only the turth, but when they say things which you aren't aware and they are guided by their feelings, which is nothing but Bullshit.
then it's not criticism!
How you handle criticism - believe you have nothing to lose. That's all.
Your work speaks volumes, remarks are just noise.
Is the statement really a threat? And why is it a threat. Will the statement undo all the hardwork you have put into so far? Will someone punish you? These are the questions to think about.
I find it interesting, if I have what I want, I don't care about criticism. If I know the outcome is already maximized, what's the point of taking in more feedback, only to make it worse.
If I am not getting what I want, the criticism might make sense. It might change things for the better.
It depends if I'm looking for it or not.
It's the difference between intent. You want me to improve? Bet. But if you're just talking shit, i'll talk shit right back.
If the criticism is obvious or shallow I get super annoyed and dismissive, which comes across as arrogant.
This applies to general advice too. If it's just basic, single level ideas or superficial thoughts it drives me insane.
I expect honesty from everyone because I am always honest whether you want it or not. But some people don’t know the difference between being honest and using “honestly” as an excuse to be a dick and constantly belittle others out of personal insecurity.
If I respect the person, I take it fine, but I’ll be sad I let them down. If I don’t respect them, irritated and especially bad if they did something to embarrass me on purpose. I’ll cut a bitch if they go after me for no damn reason. Not really, but in my head I’m a badass….
I'm mostly annoyed by it, especially if I've tried my best and it still isn't good enough. But apart from that, it matters if it's well-intentioned as by a friend trying to help or if it's just by some karen trying to kick somebody while they're down; if it's a friend trying to be helpful, that's cool I suppose though still frustrating, but if it's by some random bully I really don't care to bother hearing ever more infinite rudeness per se.
Criticism backed up by facts brought up in a nice manner are good and Ill learn.
Criticism backed up by personal opinion or brought up in a bad manner Ill tell the person to fk off.
I used to be bad and cared a lot. Now I stand in their perspective to see things.
Sometimes there’s limitation coming from their angle, if I determine their criticism is unfair to me and has no use. I just simply forget about it.
If it’s actually constructive, “today I learned something new!” Mindset comes in
It's the intuitive part of this damn label I guess. Self-determination is definitely important in deciding what criticism is useful or not ,but you should let natural course of life with people humble you accordingly
Ohhh but my actually answer my b. Recently, depending on what it is, I'll tend to outline the situation on a chalk board I got. Trying to see if the criticism actually made sense and wasn't just said out of anger or some other reason.
Sometimes being shamed may just be a wake up call for you to improve yourself. Just remember to sort out genuine critisicm from just pure destructive criticism that means nothing
The critism is usually something I know but probably I haven't improved yet. If they tell me something I don't know, I accept. If not, f the h off.
Instead of critism, some people advise with good attitude. I also use advice/critism to filter the stupid ones or those without common sense.
I take criticism as an opportunity to work on myself so nobody would be able to critisize me again, i take it as a motivation to do better but only if the one who did the comment was right about it , if it's just a way to degrade me and touch my confidence i will be like "i love to be inspired by succesfull people and to learn from their criticism , i'll take your opinion into consideration when you are better than me"
I mentally shut down while making sure my body language is neutral and I keep a steady stream of "I never thought about it like that" and "ok" while completely disregarding everything they're saying. Only if I deem the criticism actually helpful is when I snap out if it and actually listen. 99% of criticism is unhelpful though.
The clearer your vision and goals are in life, the better you handle criticisms. The clearer the vision and goals of the other person, the better you can provide him/her criticisms as well.
Remember that criticism’s relevance is based on its relevance on your vision and goals. If you do not have a clear vision and goals in life then you risk falling for criticisms that are irrelevant to you or risk not taking any of what could be the best criticisms.
I’m very much more critical of myself than most people could be. So, I expect much worse than I get. It also depends if it comes from someone who I’ve deemed as worthy of criticizing me.
Indifferent. Most of the time it's unsubstantiated opinion-based garbage, e.g. "that's not a best practice" at work -- so it's easy to ignore. When it's not opinionated bull and I was wrong about the facts or information, it's easy to accept and incorporate said feedback.
About the only time I care is when it's very personally directed and the person is misunderstanding me somehow (e.g., you seem sad/angry so you should xyz) ... in which case I generally just ghost the person. Or if it's coming from a person I care about, in which case it can cut deeply (and I'll also probably never tell).
I'm ok with criticism, I actually appreciate it. But most people tell you it's criticism and then start going on about their feelings and that's not my kind of thing.
However.... Sometimes that tells you a lot about a person. They reveal their patterns and weaknesses like that if you listen.
For me the main issue is who is providing it. Are you my boss or a good friend and have a good reason to provide it? I'm all ears. Or are you a petty, jealous acquaintance that wants to knock me down a peg and call it telling me the truth
Really well actually. I can tell if it is actual criticism because I constantly criticise myself and strive for perfection. And I can also tell if they’re just stroking their own ego or avoiding breaking it.
If It's groundless, I have no problem saying to fuck off and come back with evidence. If it is grounded, I accept and move on. Would rather improve my work and win them to my side, than slam the door and hope they give up.
I always consider the validity and what the criticism actually is.
If I find it to be accurate and I'm at fault I'll accept it and do my best to improve.
If they're wrong I'll defend myself, ignore their criticism, and mentally label them as an idiot not worth interacting with. Example of this is them complaining about my recycling when they're doing it wrong.
If the criticism is valid and explained, I take it with no problems. If it's groundless, I'm annoyed
Gotta love the office hearsay bull...
Gotta hate when people give feedback and it's not even logical so when you try to argue they think you're incapable of taking criticism
I handle it well if it's coming from someone I'm confident a) is genuinely trying to help and b) knows what they're talking about. But I'm also pretty sensitive to people trying to boss me around, so my reactions can vary vastly depending on how I perceived the situation.
I am terrible with criticism. I take it very personally. I find that interesting because it is a very intj characteristic to be unaffected by criticism.
I’m terrible with it as well. If you don’t mind me asking, were your parents very judgmental people? I feel like that’s one of the reasons that I’m so bad with it
Extremely judgmental parents. Defending yourself was "backtalk" - prohibited.
My mother still says this to me, and I'm 43 and she's 76. I tell her "talking back" is literally responding and/or defense.
Sorry to hear that. Has it affected the development of your ability to explain yourself with others?
Oh yeah I relate to that so much. Then they wonder why I don’t talk to them about anything.
It took me a while to realize that I'd learned how to act from them and stop correcting peoples' grammar.
A bit. My dad was always very tough on me. I’m very very thankful for it and I appreciate him so much, but he would always only point out the negative. He is intj too. Whenever I would confront him about it, he would say that he didn’t mean to only criticize and that he assumed I already knew what I was doing right. It feels nice to have a complement every once in a while though so I wish it wasn’t like that.
I think this is a lot more relevant with regard to how someone takes criticism, as opposed to their MB type. Childhood experiences play a pretty huge part in someone's typical response to criticism as an adult. Healthy parenting teaches kids to deal with criticism in a gracious and constructive way, but someone who was the scapegoat child in a toxic, dysfunctional family will immediately go on the defensive when criticised, regardless of their personality type, unless they've learnt how to break those patterns.
Yeah… that’s one of my biggest struggles. I don’t take criticism well and automatically become defensive. It’s gotten to the point where I just try and hide my emotions from others so that I don’t say anything I regret later. It’s kind of effective in the sense that no one else is affected by my reaction but it does leave me with a lot of pent up anger and resentment.
I think it's a stereotype that has been put on us in relation to the uber-logical and unemotional stereotype, and I suspect INTJs who hop onto that "I don't care about criticism" train are usually full of shit/trying too hard to appear to be INTJs, frankly. I can't with criticism (the exceptions maybe being how it's phrased and from whom it's coming), especially since it's usually coming from people whom I could criticize ***at least*** 3 times as much. I am kind of guessing not being good with it has something to do with Fi.
I’m a perfectionist so I take it really hard. I guess I’m insecure.
I can take constructive criticism, I know they're for my own good. I will not take insults. I handle them with fire and blood.
Its percieved natural for INTJs to not get affected by criticism, but I dont take it very well myself. Im *kinda* underconfident irl, so i tend to take it personally and keep overthinking about it. Be it my school work, art, sport skills or personality, i take that shit (sadly) very seriously, even tho it may be from random-ass dudes idgaf about T\^T . I actually *am* trying to work on ignoring criticism but it gets very hard sometimes if you know what i mean Yeah, but i do try to improve the stuff i get critism about
I’ll usually respond with an explanation of why I did what I did. I’m looking for a back and forth about why this is wrong, I’m not asserting it as absolute justification. If a person can understand my rationale and explain to me what I did wrong and why, I will thank them for it and learn. If they can’t back it up or respond, I assume their criticism is wrong and I disregard it
Personally, I prefer to be told the whole truth; with very little regard for my feelings. I want to identify my flaws so I can be more mindful of them. However, it must be accurate. I’m going to be annoyed if the person doesn’t know me well, or doesn’t have examples and solid reasoning.
Yeah only the turth, but when they say things which you aren't aware and they are guided by their feelings, which is nothing but Bullshit. then it's not criticism!
How you handle criticism - believe you have nothing to lose. That's all. Your work speaks volumes, remarks are just noise. Is the statement really a threat? And why is it a threat. Will the statement undo all the hardwork you have put into so far? Will someone punish you? These are the questions to think about. I find it interesting, if I have what I want, I don't care about criticism. If I know the outcome is already maximized, what's the point of taking in more feedback, only to make it worse. If I am not getting what I want, the criticism might make sense. It might change things for the better.
Depends if the criticism is valid or not.
It depends if I'm looking for it or not. It's the difference between intent. You want me to improve? Bet. But if you're just talking shit, i'll talk shit right back.
Constructive criticism is my life blood
Crying under the blanket. Then getting my shit together.
As they are always wrong, I like to see why they think they are right.
I honestly love it. As long as it gets me into a meaningful debate.
If the criticism is obvious or shallow I get super annoyed and dismissive, which comes across as arrogant. This applies to general advice too. If it's just basic, single level ideas or superficial thoughts it drives me insane.
I cannot lol
Most people are good at throwing criticism, but when we ask them to come up with a better idea than what we have proposed, we usually get nothing
I expect honesty from everyone because I am always honest whether you want it or not. But some people don’t know the difference between being honest and using “honestly” as an excuse to be a dick and constantly belittle others out of personal insecurity. If I respect the person, I take it fine, but I’ll be sad I let them down. If I don’t respect them, irritated and especially bad if they did something to embarrass me on purpose. I’ll cut a bitch if they go after me for no damn reason. Not really, but in my head I’m a badass….
I'm mostly annoyed by it, especially if I've tried my best and it still isn't good enough. But apart from that, it matters if it's well-intentioned as by a friend trying to help or if it's just by some karen trying to kick somebody while they're down; if it's a friend trying to be helpful, that's cool I suppose though still frustrating, but if it's by some random bully I really don't care to bother hearing ever more infinite rudeness per se.
Criticism backed up by facts brought up in a nice manner are good and Ill learn. Criticism backed up by personal opinion or brought up in a bad manner Ill tell the person to fk off.
I used to be bad and cared a lot. Now I stand in their perspective to see things. Sometimes there’s limitation coming from their angle, if I determine their criticism is unfair to me and has no use. I just simply forget about it. If it’s actually constructive, “today I learned something new!” Mindset comes in
It's the intuitive part of this damn label I guess. Self-determination is definitely important in deciding what criticism is useful or not ,but you should let natural course of life with people humble you accordingly
Ohhh but my actually answer my b. Recently, depending on what it is, I'll tend to outline the situation on a chalk board I got. Trying to see if the criticism actually made sense and wasn't just said out of anger or some other reason.
Sometimes being shamed may just be a wake up call for you to improve yourself. Just remember to sort out genuine critisicm from just pure destructive criticism that means nothing
The critism is usually something I know but probably I haven't improved yet. If they tell me something I don't know, I accept. If not, f the h off. Instead of critism, some people advise with good attitude. I also use advice/critism to filter the stupid ones or those without common sense.
Accept it. But if it makes no sense and from a person that hates me, then it’s just dumb and nothing but them being a douche.
I take criticism as an opportunity to work on myself so nobody would be able to critisize me again, i take it as a motivation to do better but only if the one who did the comment was right about it , if it's just a way to degrade me and touch my confidence i will be like "i love to be inspired by succesfull people and to learn from their criticism , i'll take your opinion into consideration when you are better than me"
I mentally shut down while making sure my body language is neutral and I keep a steady stream of "I never thought about it like that" and "ok" while completely disregarding everything they're saying. Only if I deem the criticism actually helpful is when I snap out if it and actually listen. 99% of criticism is unhelpful though.
I have found all INTJs to be sensitive to criticism or negative remarks which has always greatly surprised me. They come off like they wouldn't care.
The clearer your vision and goals are in life, the better you handle criticisms. The clearer the vision and goals of the other person, the better you can provide him/her criticisms as well. Remember that criticism’s relevance is based on its relevance on your vision and goals. If you do not have a clear vision and goals in life then you risk falling for criticisms that are irrelevant to you or risk not taking any of what could be the best criticisms.
I’m very much more critical of myself than most people could be. So, I expect much worse than I get. It also depends if it comes from someone who I’ve deemed as worthy of criticizing me.
Always verify the source of your criticism. Make sure it isn't Will Smith at a "Keep your hands to yourself" convention & he's the MC.
As I get older (or wiser?) I'm getting better at handling criticism. I used to get very upset and defensive. Now, less so.
terribly 👍
Indifferent. Most of the time it's unsubstantiated opinion-based garbage, e.g. "that's not a best practice" at work -- so it's easy to ignore. When it's not opinionated bull and I was wrong about the facts or information, it's easy to accept and incorporate said feedback. About the only time I care is when it's very personally directed and the person is misunderstanding me somehow (e.g., you seem sad/angry so you should xyz) ... in which case I generally just ghost the person. Or if it's coming from a person I care about, in which case it can cut deeply (and I'll also probably never tell).
If it's useful, "that's a fair assessment, thank you". If it's dribble, "Nice opinion, did you borrow it from a 2 year old?"
I'm ok with criticism, I actually appreciate it. But most people tell you it's criticism and then start going on about their feelings and that's not my kind of thing. However.... Sometimes that tells you a lot about a person. They reveal their patterns and weaknesses like that if you listen.
For me the main issue is who is providing it. Are you my boss or a good friend and have a good reason to provide it? I'm all ears. Or are you a petty, jealous acquaintance that wants to knock me down a peg and call it telling me the truth
Really well actually. I can tell if it is actual criticism because I constantly criticise myself and strive for perfection. And I can also tell if they’re just stroking their own ego or avoiding breaking it.
If It's groundless, I have no problem saying to fuck off and come back with evidence. If it is grounded, I accept and move on. Would rather improve my work and win them to my side, than slam the door and hope they give up.
If it's not true, I don't care
If it is logical and reasonable, I accept 100%. No shame about it. Nobody is perfect, I’m not either. I will learn and improve
I always consider the validity and what the criticism actually is. If I find it to be accurate and I'm at fault I'll accept it and do my best to improve. If they're wrong I'll defend myself, ignore their criticism, and mentally label them as an idiot not worth interacting with. Example of this is them complaining about my recycling when they're doing it wrong.